“JT LeRoy”: Kristen Stewart Is Phenomenal But Everything This Movie Tries To Say About Gender Is Bad
Justin Kelly’s JT LeRoy is not a great movie. In fact, it’s pretty bad. And yet in so many ways it’s the perfect JT LeRoy movie, the inevitable conclusion to this whole twisted saga.
For those unfamiliar with the hip lit scene of the late ’90s or the critically acclaimed and morally questionable 2016 documentary Author: The JT LeRoy Story, JT LeRoy was a writer and public figure who stumbled into the spotlight with the novel Sarah. LeRoy was born in West Virginia to a 14-year-old sex worker who quickly initiated JT into sex work as well. Assigned male at birth, JT credited their desire for a “sex change” to their mother dressing them in feminine clothing at a young age.
Except, of course, none of that is true. JT LeRoy was a made up persona. The books were written by Laura Albert, played in this film by Laura Dern, and the person schmoozing as JT in literary, fashion, and film circles was her sibling-in-law, Savannah Knoop, played here by Kristen Stewart.
This adaptation of Knoop’s memoir Girl Boy Girl begins with the first time Knoop meets Laura Albert. Dern perfectly captures Albert’s unsettling allure as she embraces Knoop and calls them an artistic genius for a handmade duct tape backpack. Albert quickly reveals that she is JT LeRoy and recruits Knoop to play him. One polaroid turns into a photo shoot turns into an interview and pretty soon Knoop as JT is getting drunk with celebrities and negotiating movie deals. They’re also falling for Eva (Diane Kruger), a European actor and director (based on Asia Argento) who is interested in JT and even more interested in adapting Sarah.
Kristen Stewart is a cis woman playing an AFAB non-binary person playing an AMAB non-binary person created by a cis woman. And the movie insists that gender is one of its main concerns. Whenever Laura gives a speech about wanting a persona to be distanced from her body, Stewart’s Knoop gives a sheepish “I get that.” The film regularly hints that Knoop participates in Laura’s scheme in part because they enjoy their time as a boy.
The renewed interest in the JT LeRoy story is unsurprising. More and more, artists and audiences are asking questions about who has the right to tell what stories. And, of course, that discussion includes whether cis actors can play trans parts. The consensus among progressive circles is present day binary trans people cannot be played by cis people… unless a character is brought back for a reboot (cough, cough). But there seems to be much less consensus in regards to historic trans people and non-binary trans people.
I don’t need to tell anyone on this lovely, horny website that Kristen Stewart is a phenomenal actor. There are a few stellar moments in the film where she’s given the space to simply play off the other actors and live in the drama. Despite the cult of celebrity around her, Stewart’s actual acting is always subtle and nuanced and a true joy to watch. But when the film tries to say something about gender it’s incredibly cringe-worthy. Some of this is the simplistic writing and some of it is Stewart’s performance. There are moral issues around casting cis people in trans parts, but more than anything cis people just aren’t good at playing us.
It’s important to note that Savannah Knoop co-wrote the script with Kelly and approved of Stewart’s casting. Gender is also more complicated than trans vs. cis. The genders that self-identified cis people have range as drastically as those of trans people. I can’t pretend to know how the oft-androgynous and very gay Stewart feels about her gender. But with her casting one has to wonder how invested Kelly truly was in examining the gender aspects of JT LeRoy. Is the trans experience a theme of the film or is it simply an attempt to shoehorn cultural relevance into a shockingly dull biopic?
The initial JT LeRoy story was filled with toxic stereotypes. Trans women are not boys whose mothers dressed them in girl’s clothing and now want a sex change but still use he/him pronouns. This was an invention by Laura Albert based on her own socially reinforced misconceptions around transness. And then on top of that she used a 20-year-old closeted trans person to further her charade. If there’s a group of people with the deepest cause to be angry at JT LeRoy it isn’t the parade of gullible celebrities who got off on being close to gritty, authentic trauma. It’s trans people.
And so I’ll say again, of course this is the end of JT LeRoy. A cis director has gathered a collection of very famous, very hip cis actors to retell this story in a way that oversimplifies the trans experience. In a recent interview about their solo exhibition, Screens: A Project About “Community,” Knoop said, “It’s like I have clawed my way out of some zone where I felt that people were presenting me as a two-dimensional cut-out.”
I’m happy for Knoop’s success as an artist and I’m happy they were involved in the making of this film. But when it comes to Hollywood it feels like we’re all still clawing.
Pop Culture Fix: Kristen Stewart’s Charlie’s Angels Are Here, Surely One Is Queer
It’s Wednesday; you’re fixin’ to get pop cultured!
+ Kristen Stewart’s new Charlie’s Angels, a thing I have refused to believe is real until someone provided photographic evidence, has made a strong case for its existence this week by releasing some stills. According to Entertainment Weekly, “[Charlie’s] expanded roster includes the crew at the center of Elizabeth Banks’ story: Sabina Wilson (Kristen Stewart), the hard-partying, highly skilled wild card; Jane Kano (Ella Balinska), the ex-MI6 muscle of the group; and Elena Houghlin (Aladdin’s Naomi Scott), the MIT-trained scientist who, Banks says, serves as ‘the heart of the movie.'” Also if Kristen Stewart isn’t gay in this film WHAT’S THE POINT.
+ The Guardian is curious why Coronation Street keeps exploding its lesbians.
+ Rafiki hits theaters this weekend in the United States for the first time! Here’s an excellent interview with director Wanuri Kahiu.
+ You know GBBO‘s Prue Leith? She writes an epic novel series about chefs, I guess? Well, her next book has lesbian sex in it and apparently she chatted up Sandi Toksvig’s wife for some pointers on writing about it. (I need to warn you: If you click on that link, about 25 autoplay videos of Paul Hollywood are going to start blaring at you. Maybe he even reaches through the screen and tries to give you a handshake if you leave the tab open long enough, I don’t know, but I wouldn’t risk it.)
+ Kate McKinnon will star and executive produce the new Hulu series The Dropout, about the life of Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes.
+ Lin-Manuel Miranda’s In The Heights just keeps getting better and better. This week: Stephanie Beatriz is Carla!
+ DERRY GIRLS IS COMING BACK FOR SERIES THREE. (Also thank you to Natalie for this deep investigation into what happened to Michelle’s mam’s big bowl.)
+ Shay Mitchell is joining Hulu’s Dollface and 100% of our TV team agrees this means her character will be gay.
+ Paula Pell plays a lesbian in Netflix’s new SNL lady-helmed comedy, Wine Country.
Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Ana Gasteyer, Paula Pell, Emily Spivey, and Tina Fey star in Wine Country — a new movie about friendship, aging, and drinking. Lots and lots and lots of drinking. pic.twitter.com/EQ0weG224h
— Netflix (@netflix) April 11, 2019
+ Jeffrey Tambor’s getting killed off the final season of Transparent I guess.
+ IDW is feeling more and more confident about season four of Wynonna Earp.
+ Sony Pictures Television Studios’ Jeff Frost said he feels “reasonably confident” they’ll find a new home for One Day at a Time!
+ Shrill’s coming back for a second season.
+ Lena Waithe’s queer girl comedy, Twenties, is coming to BET.
Your 2018 Gal Pal Roundup: The 8 Couples(?!) Who Won 20GayTeen
Guys! What a year! I don’t know about you, but I went on TWO WHOLE DATES in 2018! (This is bullshit, please come at me, 2019.) Instead, I spent the majority of my free time pouring over the love lives of a bunch of rich and famous people I don’t actually know! Please join me on this vicarious journey through other people’s relationships!!!
Ellen Page & Emma Portner
Honestly, I feel like this year has aged me approximately 10,000 years, but it believe it or not it was only January 3rd when we first reported the marriage of Ellen Page and her very flexible new wife! Since then they’ve smiled together in a lot of Instagrams and made a Christmas soup.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BrwDiS3BPlb/
Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor
In dark times, Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor have reminded me that love is (maybe) real. When they tweet adoringly, I swear I can hear the sound of woodland creatures singing.
*gasp*
Sweetheart.
— Holland Taylor (@HollandTaylor) August 18, 2018
Cara Delevingne + Paris Jackson
Listen, I know that Cara is (most likely) dating Ashley Benson these days, and Paris Jackson swears up and down that she and Cara never had any kind of monogamous situation in place. Still, the photos/video of Cara and Paris dancing outside a restaurant, while a bemused Macaulay Culkin watches on, remain one of my favorite visuals in this sizzling trash heap of a year. This video is to 2018 as that footage of Miley Cyrus groping Stella Maxwell in the parking lot of a steakhouse was to 2015.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
Hayley Kiyoko + That Girl She Turned Gay
The power of Lesbian Eye Contact cannot be denied.
https://twitter.com/vannyhearts/status/985284390136590336
Emily Hampshire & Teddy Geiger
These two lovebirds seem to treat their entire social media presence as one giant multimedia love letter to one another, and it’s goddamn adorable. They only confirmed their relationship to the internet at large in mid-August, and already they were engaged in November. Since then, they haven’t stopped staring at one another, and I for one am extremely here for it.
Rutina Wesley & Chef Shonda
My favorite thing about these two is how clearly over-the-moon-in-love Rutina is, and how much she GUSHES about it on Instagram. They got friggin’ ENGAGED at the very tail end of 2017, so I’m including them on this list. I’m primed and ready for many pictures of their goofy smiles in years to come.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BbQP0VygM6g/?utm_source=ig_embed
Kristen Stewart & Whatsherface
Kristen Stewart is perhaps the most important jewel in the Vapid Fluff universe. Not a day goes by that I don’t search the wild internet for freshly harvested pictures of her walking grumpily around Los Feliz with a latte. Can you believe she spent nearly two years dating international supermodel Stella Maxwell and I still wouldn’t recognize that girl if I tripped over her on the street????
Anyway, over the last week and a half, Kristen’s been spotted walking dogs and picking up to-go juices with a Los Angeles-based stylist named Sara Dinkin, so I guess that’s her girlfriend now! Whoever Kristen Stewart is dating, it will always be news. I hope these two eat so many salads together, in front of so many photographers!!!
Oh cool, juice! I LOVE juice!!!!!
Janelle Monáe + Tessa Thompson
Are they or aren’t they? Were they or weren’t they? Would they tell us if they were? Or if they weren’t? Or if they had been? At this point it honestly doesn’t matter if these two were best friends or a couple. Their alleged romantic dalliances captivated us all year long and we covered them exhaustively.
Janelle officially came out! Tessa officially came out! This year Janelle blessed us with the “Make Me Feel” video, captivating audiences and contributing to the popularity of bisexual lighting. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any gayer, the “Pynk” video happened to us and taught us how two very good friends can enjoy each other’s company while wearing vagina pants.
Even if they’ve broken up, or even if they were never actually together to begin with (they SO were), Tessa Thompson and Janelle Monáe reign supreme as Most Important Gal Pals of 2018.
It’s so nice you ladies are such good friends!!!!!
Tessa, play us off with that song Janelle wrote for you that one time.
EXCUSE ME, Did Kristen Stewart Get A New Girlfriend While We Weren’t Looking?
Every afternoon, Kristen Stewart crumples herself out of bed, throws on a crop top and some sunglasses, scowls into the mirror and wanders out to the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles, where she and her girlfriend Stella Maxwell walk up Hillhurst and down Vermont until the paparazzi take pictures of them. At least, that’s what I was under the impression she’d been doing all this time! My friends, it seems that while we were otherwise engaged, Kristen and Stella have quietly broken up and now Kristen is walking around holding hands with this lady! I guess!!!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BrpNicnnJh-/
Stella and Kristen haven’t been seen together since around October, and rumors have swirled for weeks now that the two may have split. In the meantime, internet sleuths have identified Kristen’s mystery redhead as Sara Dinkin, a Los Angeles-based “style visionary and artistic influencer,” which sounds about right. Although she has been blonde for some time, Dinkin appears to currently be a redhead and once wore the above-pictured red sunglasses:
The two have been seen canoodling in Los Feliz, carrying takeout, holding hands, allegedly kissing and most importantly carrying to-go juices around. These are all of Kristen Stewart’s favorite things, so at this early stage I am going to bless this union. A source told E! News that Kristen kissed her after they ate breakfast. A source also told us that these guys were spotted at a Los Feliz-based butcher shop on Wednesday, which seems romantic! I am buckled in and ready to take this ride with you, Kristen.
Rejoice, Rejoice! Kristen Stewart Will Star in the Lesbian Christmas Rom-Com of Your Wildest Holigay Dreams!
But baby it’s cold outside.
This evening I was snug in my bed like so many Christmas poems, snoozing away under the influence of the sedative my doctor gave me for the small outpatient procedure I had earlier in the day, when lo! An angel of the Lord appeared! And her name was Natalie and she said unto me, “Fear not! For, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. Kristen Stewart will star in Clea DuVall’s lesbian Christmas rom-com.” I startled awake, thinking it was just a holy dream, but upon checking Autostraddle Slack I saw the real-live link that Natalie had pasted right there the TV Team channel.
According to The Hollywood Reporter:
Kristen Stewart is in talks to star in Temple Hill Entertainment and TriStar Pictures’ Happiest Season, a same-sex romantic comedy from director Clea DuVall and writing partner Mary Holland, The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed. Happiest Season portrays a young woman whose plan to propose to her girlfriend while at her family’s annual holiday party is upended when she discovers her partner hasn’t yet come out to her conservative parents.
There are no real details on Happiest Season yet. Variety reported that TriStar had acquired the rights to it back in April when DuVall told them: “Mary [Holland] and I are beyond thrilled… Happiest Season is extremely important to us, and we could not ask for a better team to collaborate with to bring it to the screen.” And Holland said, “Teaming up with Clea to write Happiest Season has been a highlight of my life!”
THIS IS REAL. THIS IS A REAL THING. A REAL LESBIAN CHRISTMAS THING! Oh, how we have suffered endlessly in these cold winter months as Hallmark tells story after story of successful women who reluctantly return home for Christmas and bump into some Will Schuester prick of a lumberjack who convinces them a woman’s ambition is the the enemy of Christmas magic. Well, ho ho ho! Not anymore!
So sip your secular Starbucks peppermint latte, jingle your bells, and make room beside Carol on your DVD shelf: KStew Claus is comin’ to town!
16 Iconic Coming Out Moments to Celebrate on National Coming Out Day
Today is National Coming Out Day, the day we make our lesbianism and gayness and bisexuality and trans-ness and all forms of queerness known to the wider world. Robert Eichberg, who co-founded this day in 1988 with his lesbian activist pal Jean O’Leary, said in 1993 (two years before he died of complications from AIDS), “Most people think they don’t know anyone gay or lesbian, and in fact everybody does. It is imperative that we come out and let people know who we are and disabuse them of their fears and stereotypes.”
So, with that in mind, let’s celebrate 16 LGBTQ+ celebrities who came out in iconic ways and changed the conversation around equality. This list is, by no means, exhaustive, and I look forward to hearing about some of your favorite, most inspirational, most groundbreaking coming outs in the comments!
Sara Ramirez
Sara Ramirez came out as bisexual in a speech at the True Colors Fund in October 2016, but she was so excited to share her truth with the world that she jumped the gun on the speech being released and posted the coming out portion of it on her Instagram. Ramirez also has the distinction of being the only woman to play two bisexual TV characters who made it into our “best ever” list.
Janelle Monáe
When Janelle Monáe decided to come out, she came the fuck out. There’d been plenty of speculation about her sexuality over the years, especially her very special friendship with Tessa Thompson, with everyone labeling her sexuality with whatever fit their own narrative. Well, she chose her own label, thank you very much — free-ass motherfucker. She also shared a special message for her fans right before she released her very queer, very critically acclaimed Dirty Computer album: “I want young girls, young boys, non binary, gay, straight, queer people who are having a hard time dealing with their sexuality, dealing with feeling ostracized or bullied for just being heir unique selves, to know that I see you… This album is for you. Be proud.”
Gavin Rayna Russom
LCD Soundsystem’s Gavin Rayna Russom came out in July 2017, at the age of 42. “There was legitimately something unmanageable for me about living as a cis man,” she told Pitchfork. “I was working so hard just to present this image of myself that ran very deeply counter to who I really am.” Her work hasn’t slowed down since then; she remains one of the most celebrated DJs and synth players in the industry.
Gloria Carter
Gloria Carter came out last June in the song “Smile” on Jay-Z’s 4:44 album. Early in the track, Jay-Z raps, “Mama had four kids, but she a lesbian. Had to pretend so long that she’s a thespian.” Ms. Carter, herself, gave a speech at this year’s GLAAD Media Awards — to a standing ovation — in which she talked about her decision to come out to Jay-Z. “For me, this was the first time that I spoke to anyone about who I really am. My son cried, and said, ‘It must have been horrible to live that way for so long.’ My life wasn’t horrible. I chose to protect my family from ignorance. I was happy, but I was not free.” She encouraged everyone in the banquet hall to find a way — like her — to find their freedom.
Stephanie Beatriz
Stephanie Beatriz came out in the most chill way imaginable. She retweeted an interview in which Aubrey Plaza said, “I fall in love with girls and guys. I can’t help it” and simply commented, “Yup.” Since then she has spoken openly and often about her bisexuality, even penning an essay about it for GQ. She also responded very lovingly to the news that she swept our inaugural Gay Emmys.
Hayley Kiyoko
Everything you need to know about Hayley Kiyoko you will find it in the Nylon magazine profile Riese wrote for their Pride issue this summer. If you just want to know about her coming out, though, that dates back to December 2016 when she told Paper magazine that she loved filming the video for “Girls Like Girls” because she is, in fact, a girl who likes Girls.
Amandla Stenberg
Amandla Stenberg came out on Teen Vogue‘s Snapchat in January 2016, when she was only 17. At the time Stenberg came out as bisexual, but has since said, “I realised that I’m gay – not bi, not pan, but gay.” Riese also noted when she first wrote about Stenberg that she inadvertently also came out as “a perfect human.”
Ellen Page
Ellen Page gave one of the most moving coming out speeches in recent memory at a Human Rights Campaign gala on Valentine’s Day in 2014. She was visibly nervous when she began speaking, and barely able to hold back her tears when she said “I’m here today because I am gay.” She picked up steam as she went along, and hasn’t even flinched back toward the closet since that day. She hosts Vice’s Gaycation, she starred in one of the saddest gay movies of all time with Julianne Moore, and she got herself a wife!
Seimone Augustus
It’s easy to look at the WNBA in 2018 and assume the easiest thing in the world to do is be an out lesbian. But when Seimone Augustus came out in 2012, that was not the case. The league was still two years away from fully embracing its queer women fan base (which it had basically been actively rejecting since its inception), and there were very few openly gay players in any professional sport. It’s hard to overstate Augustus’ impact: At LSU, she won the Naismith and was a two-time All-American. She was the #1 WNBA draft pick in her class. And she was an immediate superstar in the league. She left the closest door open a whole lot wider when she walked out. Augustus wrote an essay about meeting her now-wife, falling in love, and getting married not long after the Supreme Court made marriage equality legal nationwide. It’s called “It is So Ordered” and it’s my favorite essay about love and it will crack your heart wide open.
Ellen DeGeneres
There’s no coming out more iconic than Ellen DeGeneres’. Three words — Yep, I’m gay — and the whole world caught on fire. Her sitcom was ultimately cancelled; she became the scapegoat of the religious right for almost a decade; and her career almost didn’t recover. Now she’s one of the most beloved women (and definitely the most famous lesbian) in the world. Her name’s on everything, her talk show’s everywhere. She was even awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom during President Obama’s last term.
Kristen Stewart
I couldn’t remember all the gay stuff Kristen Stewart did before she officially came out on SNL last year; luckily, Stef had me covered in the post she wrote about the episode.
In the last year, Stewart has become a fantastic, almost mythical character in gay lady circles. She went from being the fidgety, perpetually uncomfortable focus of constant queer-ish speculation to the real-life Shane our community has always deserved. In the last year alone, the notoriously guarded actress went from dating French actress/singer Soko to moving in with her on-again, off-again love Alicia Cargile, to holding hands at fashion shows with St. Vincent and most recently making out in cars with Victoria’s Secret model and former Miley Cyrus paramour Stella Maxwell. It’s safe to say that at this point in her career, Kristen Stewart doesn’t give a fuck anymore.
Stewart is, to our knowledge, the only person who has come out to — among other things — troll the president of the United States.
Robin Roberts
Robin Roberts’ sexuality was always just kind of… known. She’s the reporter Obama reached out to when he wanted to announce his support of same-sex marriage. She was, as Brittani Nichols noted, once on an episode of Hannah Montana called “Can You See the Real Me” about how hard it is to live a double life. Roberts’ had been with her partner for a decade when she finally, casually mentioned her in a public Facebook post around the holidays in 2013. Since then, she’s been very open about her sexuality and her relationship. She even stopped by Ellen to chat about it.
Mara Wilson
The world really only knew Mara Wilson as Matilda until her memoir, Where Am I Now?, hit shelves in September 2016. Not long after that, she came out on Twitter (and also told us that: yes, she knows Miss Honey made everyone gay, but she had a completely different on-set lady-crush). Since then, she’s been a fierce and vocal advocate of bisexual visibility and a frequent guest at A-Camp.
Megan Rapinoe
It seemed like Megan Rapinoe was waiting for a reporter to ask her if she’s gay, and reporters were waiting for Megan Rapinoe to announce that she’s gay — and finally she just called up Out magazine and put it on the record in 2012. She has been brilliantly, sometimes hilariously vocal about her gayness non-stop since then. These days, she’s dating another Seattle pro sports superstar, Sue Bird, who just won another WNBA championship.
Rebecca Sugar
Former Adventure Time writer/Steven Universe creator and showrunner Rebecca Sugar came out as bisexual at San Diego Comic-Con in 2016, gently answering a question about why she’s so great at writing queer women with, “Well, in large part it’s based on my experience as a bisexual woman.” More recently, Sugar came out as a non-binary woman on NPR, and explained how her identity helps shape those of the Gems on her show.
Tessa Thompson
When Tessa Thompson came out just a few months ago, I legitimately rushed out of a doctor’s appointment so I could celebrate with my co-workers. Somehow Carmen was able to keep a level head and write a beautiful piece about the cultural impact of Thompson’s declaration that she’s queer: “It’s still rare to see a celebrity be this introspective and caring in their coming out, to lead with their heart and be purposeful about the responsibility of their fame, recognizing the huge impact their openness can have on their queer fans.” Thompson didn’t confirm her relationship with Janelle Monáe, but she did confirm that they “vibrate on the same frequency.”
Pop Culture Fix: Kristen Stewart’s Screenwriting Debut Includes Line “Her Hand In My Wide-Open Cunt” and Other Stories
Welcome to your weekly pop culture fix, a crucial rundown of everybody’s favorite flavors of soda pop and also a bunch of news relevant to our people.
+ Kristen Stewart talked to Paris-based Mastermind Magazine about sexuality, including her own:
“Yeah, ambiguity is my favorite thing ever. In terms of sexuality? For sure. And also in making films, if you perfectly answer every question, you don’t allow for people to have their own experience and really indulge a thought. I feel the same way about how we f— each other. You don’t want to know everything all the time.”
She also talked about her upcoming film, “The Chronology of Water” (an adaptation of Lidia Yuknavitch’s 2011 memoir, which includes bisexual storylines and will be her directorial debut) and the importance of showing the development of young women’s sexuality onscreen, which she says is lacking:
“My favorite line in this movie I’m currently writing is, ‘I thought about Sienna Torres and her shoving her hand into my wide-open cunt about as wide as a mouth saying motherfucker.’ That’s not something people would be comfortable hearing, up until right now, but I think it’s the perfect time. There’s nothing dirty about it, but I’m definitely going to be vulgar, and I’m definitely going to be completely unabashedly open about the fact that we’re entirely sexual beings.”
Sounds great!!!
+ I tuned in to the premiere of “The Purge” last night to see if the assassin played by AZMarie is an explicitly queer character or if that’s just gonna be a thing that happens in my head, and boi was I surprised to find that two lead female characters have some sexual fluidity going on as well! So far, reviews of the series have been mixed.
+ Speaking of Fall TV Premieres, have you read our extensive and brilliant Fall 2018 TV Preview? Just so you know, it’ll be updated & accessible all season long in the top menu bar under the “television” header, see:
+ In other news, we started our own Autostraddle Gay Emmys and you’ll probably want to cast a vote!
+ Hayley Kiyoko is the latest cool queer to pop up as a ModCloth ambassador.
+ Lauren Jauregui is Nylon Magazine’s September Cover star, shot by Lindsey Byrnes:
“I’ve learned so much, even about the gender binary since I came out as bisexual, and I’m sure that I could fall in love with anyone as long as their soul was genuine. That’s all that really matters to me. I don’t care about the physical,” she jokes. “I care about your trauma and shit, and if you’re projecting that shit on to me.” Jauregui adds: “But that’s really it, because, at the end of the day, we’re all just humans and if we’re attracted to each other, we’re just attracted to each other. So, I just explore that fluidity all the time.”
+ Well, this will be a journey:
“Law & Order: Hate Crimes” is set in New York City, where crimes motivated by discrimination are vigorously investigated by an elite, specially trained team of investigators. Going behind the headlines and viral videos, these diverse, dedicated and passionate detectives will stop at nothing to bring these criminals to justice…”
+ In Lily Allen’s upcoming memoir, she discusses the fact that she “slept with female escorts when I was on tour, cause I was lost and lonely and looking for something.” She continues, “I’m not proud, but I’m not ashamed. I don’t do it anymore.” I was really confused about why this is even a thing that she would consider being ashamed about, but I guess it’s ’cause she was married at the time.
+ Issa Rae on her project Him and Her: “[Being queer] is the experience of lots of black men, and it’s like, ‘Why would you try to prevent that story from being told? Who are you to tell him that his story isn’t valid?’”
+ Anna and the Apocalypse: Your New Favorite Zombie Christmas Musical, about which it was written: “well, this is even a good example of a film managing to include a major queer character without making her a token or without reducing her sexuality to a single, back-patting reference.”
+ Why the gay conversion therapy drama is having a moment.
+ Younger Is Moving to the Paramount Network for Season 6
+ Black Lightning Season 2 Casts Supergirl Foil as DC Comics’ Looker
+ Wanda Sykes Sets Netflix Stand-Up Special
+ Cynthia Nixon is Not Miranda:
https://youtu.be/W4QmX0s5Msw
VIDEO: Lesbionic “Lizzie” Trailer Drops, Features Kristen Stewart and Chloë Sevigny Loving Each Other and Patricide
“Lizzie is brutal, historically attuned, and committed to exploring effeminate trauma and retaliation,” wrote Sarah Fonseca in her review of Craig William Macneill’s reimagining of the infamous 1892 Lizzie Borden murders, in which Lizzie was accused of axe murdering her own family.
“Macneill… refrains from watering Lizzie into a mischievous bombshell,” Fonseca continued. “Grappling with health issues, reading books aloud to her pets, and living under her father’s thumb, she’s anything but cool. Perhaps this is what makes this movie so alluring: there’s a little of Lizzie in all of us.”
Today, Roadside Attractions dropped the first trailer for Lizzie, which stars Chloë Sevigny as Lizzie Borden and Kristen Stewart as Bridget Sullivan, the maid who Lizzie may or may not have, in real life, had a thing with. Luckily this isn’t real life, it’s a movie, and they definitely have a thing:
This looks way better than the truly unfortunate Lifetime mini-series Lizzie Borden Took An Axe.
Anyway, Happy Friday!
“Lizzie” Review: Kristen Stewart and Chloë Sevigny Have Hot Barn Sex, Axe-Murder a Man Together
This review contains spoilers.
Sundance is in full swing in Park City, Utah this week and I’m pleased to note that 2018 is going to be an excellent year for Autostraddler-friendly narrative and documentary. There are a number of titles coming out of the Festival worth keeping tabs on, including a doc on Joan Jett (Bad Reputation), another on the lesbian couple who became the only doctors willing to treat AIDS patients in Utah (Quiet Heroes), a Christine Vachon-produced biopic on the queer author Colette (Colette), and Desiree Akhavan’s Adaptation of e.m. danforth’s The Miseducation of Cameron Post. (It’s almost enough to make me forget that Sebastian Lelio still hasn’t dropped a trailer for his Rachel Weisz-on-Rachel McAdams affair, Disobedience.)
There’s also Lizzie. This Sundance, I’ve been cruising for a bruising that only a good drama can offer; this one exceeded my needs. Craig William Macneill (Channel Zero) has re-imagined the events leading up to and following the 1892 murders of Andrew and Abby Borden in Fall River, Massachusetts. Chloe Sevigny stars as the accused axe-wielding daughter, Lizzie Borden; Kim Dickens, her older sister Emma; Fiona Shaw, Abby Borden, their stepmother; Kristen Stewart, the Borden family’s maid, Bridget “Maggie” Sullivan.
Lizzie is brutal, historically attuned, and committed to exploring effeminate trauma and retaliation. As you might remember, Lifetime took a shot at a telling this story in four years ago with Christina Ricci in the lead role. While I enjoyed Lizzie Borden Took an Axe’s anachronistic blues rock soundtrack and Clea Duvall’s sour-faced Emma, it’s pretty impossible for a television network to craft a period slasher movie when its most risqué rating is a PG-14. Macneill also refrains from watering Lizzie into a mischievous bombshell. Grappling with health issues, reading books aloud to her pets, and living under her father’s thumb, she’s anything but cool. Perhaps this is what makes this movie so alluring: there’s a little of Lizzie in all of us.
The movie’s quick to distance itself from this earlier interpretation. Within twenty seconds, we’ve gotten very up-close-and-personal with Andrew Borden’s mutilated face. A detective asks Lizzie if her father had any enemies. Before she can respond, we flashback to Bridget’s arrival at the Borden home with nothing but a tiny trunk and a convincing Irish accent to her name. I wonder if Stewart ever considered that the repression that underpinned her Bella’s entire plot was rendered literal in Bridget. When she’s in a role that actually acknowledges and plays with gender (such as Maureen in Personal Shopper and Valentine in Clouds of Sils Maria), Stewart has so much more to work with — even if that work entails cleaning windows with the deceptive (and totally alluring) vigor that Tom Sawyer once deployed while whitewashing fences.
Bridget and Lizzie grow closer after the maid nurses her lady back to health after a seizure. Their intimacy is born from Bridget simply doing what Mr. Borden pays her pocket change to do; a circumstance that will haunt Bridget after the murders. But given Lizzie’s motherlessness, she is a stranger to care. The connection swells between the two, warming the cold Borden estate.
Channeling The Handmaiden, Lizzie gives Bridget reading lessons. When the maid receives a letter that her mother has died, she tearfully clings to Lizzie as her employer confirms her worst fears. As threatening letters from an unknown sender begin appearing in the mail, the two women pass notes of their own in dark hallways like schoolgirls. Later, Lizzie and Bridget bond over the absence of their mothers and the omnipresence of Lizzie’s father, who begins raping Bridget while tormenting Lizzie, killing her pigeons and isolating her. Misery loves company. We know where this tale inevitably leads, but some pleasure precedes the axe.
Screenwriter Ed McBain (The Birds) was the first to speculate that the real Lizzie and Bridget were having an affair. Anticipating this, Lizzie fakes out the viewer out several times. A camera lingers on the women’s impossibly close bodies as Bridget continually helps Lizzie dress and undress, as reliable as roast mutton.
When the hook-up finally happens, it’s, in a way, make-up sex. When Lizzie discovers that her father’s been sneaking into their maid’s room at night, she sprinkles shattered mirror fragments outside of Bridget’s chamber to wound him upon exit. It’s a defiant gesture that Bridget does not appreciate, one that results in a lecture on class. Bridget chastises Lizzie, urging her to remember their respective places in society. Lizzie is able to resist doing anything she doesn’t want to do. Bridget, however, doesn’t have that luxury; physical intrusion part and parcel of being a domestic laborer. Clearly, the Progressive Era’s ideals haven’t quite landed in the Borden library just yet.
When Lizzie goes to Bridget’s humble quarters to apologize the next afternoon, she utters a lethal string of words: Don’t make me leave this room. Bridget doesn’t. Instead, they both depart at some point, winding up in the hay barn where Lizzie gave Bridget her first reading lessons. Dresses ruffle and hands clamor beneath hemlines. Bridget winds up in her employer’s lap. She thumbs down Lizzie’s lower lip so precisely that she reveals no teeth but a tongue, silver and ready to pounce. Because the women remain fully dressed throughout the scene, the camerawork is lax and indulgent, pulling back and revealing the totality of bodies and setting; Lizzie’s abandoned pigeon cages are mere feet away. The love scene, when contrasted with the ensuing murder sequence, becomes reminiscent of a Highsmith novel that weighs sex and murder in even palms. (The women conduct their slayings in the nude.)
It may come as a disappointment to some viewers that, a few moments into their lovemaking, Mr. Borden can be seen peering through the barn’s clapboards, livid. This moment, which risks dismissal for being “too male gaze-y,” is actually permissible. The only thing all four Borden women agree on is that their patriarch, not Lizzie, is the ultimate embarrassment to the family name. It’s nice to see him experience the humiliation he frequently inflicts by witnessing his non-consensual mistress become his daughter’s eager lover. For many men, a grisly death is preferable to erotic defeat.
When Mr. Borden, unable to actually name the love that dare not speak its name, confronts Lizzie about her relationship with Bridget and demands that she practice “terms appropriate to lady and household,” his daughter toys with him.
“Say it,” Lizzie antagonizes.
“You’re an abomination,” he spits.
“Then at least we’re on equal footing, father,” she bites back, beat unmissed.
There’s so much more about Lizzie to savor, but I’d like to return to that question from the first few scenes. When Lizzie is asked whether her father had any enemies, her answer, revealed later on, is another zinger, summing up the way this movie efficiently connects the past with the present day: This is America. There’s not a man in this country who doesn’t have enemies.
Always In Lesbian Style: Top 10 Cold Shoulder Tops
It seems like everywhere I turn these days people are clowning on cold shoulder tops. Why, just this week Heather and Jessica over at Go Fug Yourself said “I don’t know that I think the cold-shoulder look is that flattering. It makes people look slouchy.” Elle says they’ve reached “peak fatigue” with cold shoulder tops. Even The Toast co-founder Nicole Cliffe had a go, saying that “this cold shoulder top nonsense has gone on long enough.” Call me old fashioned but I don’t think cold shoulder tops will ever go out of style. In fact, here are the top ten cold shoulder tops to remind you why they’re always in, no matter the season.
10. Alex Vause
9. Delphine Cormier
8. Kalinda Sharma
7. Kristen Stewart
6. Santana Lopez
5. Sameen Shaw
4. Annalise Keating
3. H.G. Wells
2. Bette Porter
1. Carol Aird
Kristen Stewart’s Makeup Artist Wants to Make You a Proud *Eye*sexual
According to early results from our Autostraddle Reader Style Survey, Kristen Stewart is by far the number one celebrity y’all turn to for style inspiration. Her whole air of mystery thing is generally pretty appealing, though less so when you’re trying to emulate her look — which is why it’s important you know that her makeup artist Jillian Dempsey just released a line of eye tints and liners, and even blabbed to The Cut about how exactly to get that smoldering Stew stare. Hint: I hope you’re good with your fingers.
All lid tints available at Credo Beauty
The tints ($28) come in eight shades, and are free of parabens, sulfates, and all sorts of popular fillers that irritate sensitive eyes. Only one customer has reviewed the tints so far, but she gave them five stars and said she’s “fallen in love,” so that’s cool. (Isn’t it nice sharing secrets with your gal pals?)
Image by Denis Makarenko via Shutterstock
There’s Ruby, a rich red for biting Stewy’s 2016 Cannes Film Festival style.
Image by Featureflash Photo Agency via Shutterstock
Dew, a shiny-white for a look that’s similarly illuminating (though not quite as straight-up metallic) to Stewart’s Still Alice screening look from 2014.
Image by Kathy Hutchins via Shutterstock
Bronze, like she wore with panache back in her eye-rolly Twilight days.
Image by s_bukley via Shutterstock
Plum, a shade similar to her On the Road premiere aubergine.
Image by Kathy Hutchins via Shutterstock
And Smoke, if you want to Single White Female the sexy raccoon look she recently sported in LA.
Image by Tinseltown via Shutterstock
There are even black and brown kohl liners if you want to approximate the American Ultra premiere cat eye K Stew apparently loved so much, she actually smiled on the red carpet. Like, with teeth and everything!
As for how to get Stewart’s perfectly disheveled trademark look, Dempsey said:
“Kristen and I will use our knuckles and smudge on her mascara and around the lash line because we don’t want it to look like a perfectly set eye… We tend to line under her eye and use a finger or a nylon brush to go back and forth before applying mascara so it does get a little messed up, or use a finger… Really, your finger is your best friend (unless you have long acrylic nails).”
Solid advice for a few different areas of life, but if you’re more of a visual learner, you can always check out the video tutorials on Dempsey’s website.
Kristen Stewart Talks Love, Fame And Grilled Cheese With Harper’s Bazaar
feature image via Tom Craig/Harper’s Bazaar
Our friend and yours Kristen Stewart has graced the cover of Harper’s Bazaar‘s September issue, thus marking the third time she’s been the magazine’s cover story. In the accompanying interview, our favorite sulky celesbian opens up about her experiences dating in the public eye, her increasing openness about her sexuality and her evolving views on fame.
Every single day in my Google alerts, I receive at least one questionable tabloid article about how Kristen and former Twilight costar Robert Pattinson are secretly conspiring to get back together (despite having not dated each other for several years and being in apparently happy relationships with other people). Still, the press are obsessed with getting Bella and Edward back together, and what Kristen’s fluid sexuality means for her past, current and future relationships. When asked if she’d ever date men again, Stewart appeared completely open to the possibility. “Yeah, totally. Definitely… Some people aren’t like that. Some people know that they like grilled cheese and they’ll eat it every day for the rest of their lives. I want to try everything. If I have grilled cheese once I’m like, ‘That was cool, what’s next?'”
Lest one dismiss her past relationships with fellow celebrities as being manufactured or discarded as easily as grilled cheese sandwiches of the past, Stewart is happy to clarify. “I’ve been deeply in love with everyone I’ve dated,” she insists. “Did you think I was faking it? I’ve always really embraced a duality. And really, truly, believed in it and never felt confused or struggling. I just didn’t like getting made fun of.”
Stewart has a well-documented history of being uncomfortable with her notoriety, as her relationships, style and sexuality have been painstakingly dissected by the public for most her adult life. “Fame is valued quite ridiculously. So then there’s this idea that you’re beholden in some way, and I resent that. And it comes across like I’m ungrateful or something but, actually, I just find it weird to talk to the general public as a whole. Like, you can relate to a person, you can relate to an individual, but addressing the world at large is something that just perplexes me.”
As a child actor, Kristen was widely dismissed as “a total tomboy,” a label she struggled to feel comfortable with. She was teased in school, “…and it actually really hurt my feelings, like badly. Like, I remember being in the sixth grade [aged 11] and [people would say] ‘Kristen looks like a man. You’re a boy’, or whatever, and I was so offended, horrified and embarrassed. Now I look back on it and I’m like, ‘Girl, be proud of that!'”
When Harper’s asked if the sullen actress feels that she suffers from Resting Bitch Face, she replied in the affirmative. “Completely. I’m really not introverted — I’m just not acting all the time, which is what it would take to look like how people expect famous people to behave.” She also expressed frustration with how often she’s been described as a bitch by journalists, particularly male journalists: “Men cannot say ‘bitch’ anymore, I’m sorry. Say something different. Say, ‘You’re rude,’ say, ‘You’re a dick,’ whatever. Just to say, ‘Oh that bitch.’ You can’t say that because there’s nothing I could say to you, there’s no retort that would be equal to that, therefore it’s demeaning and literally on par with… something homophobic or something racist.”
Stewart also explains her feelings on being a woman in the age of Trump’s America, which are cautiously optimistic. “It’s obviously terrible what’s happening but at the same time, it feels good to be part of a wider female community that is finally standing up for itself. I’ve never felt such a strong sense of community. So it’s brought us together. The catalyst for this is regrettable, obviously, it’s shitty. But at the same time I think that you need something to stir things up in order to get people to come together and define their opinions and force them to be heard.”
The September 2017 issue of Harper’s hits newsstands on August 4.
Kristen Stewart And Stella Maxwell Crashed a Lesbian Wedding and Aunt Linda Was Very Excited
That Kristen Stewart shows up in the darndest places, be it the red carpet in Cannes, a health food store in Los Feliz or occasionally a particularly terrible vampire movie. This past weekend, she reached new levels of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ by turning up at the Canadian wedding of a couple of women she’d never met before..
Kirsten and Kayleigh Jennings celebrated their wedding Saturday in a backyard in the River Heights area of Winnipeg, Manitoba. The pair met in 2010 when they were both bartending in the Cayman Islands, and have been together ever since. They moved back to Winnipeg (Kirsten is originally from there; Kayleigh is from Oklahoma) in 2012, as the US government did not federally recognize same-sex marriage at the time. They had a small ceremony in a backyard with about 90 guests, and then had a Dixie-land style band lead their friends and family to a reception at Pizzeria Gusto. As luck would have it, the lesbian wedding gods were smiling fondly upon Pizzeria Gusto that day, as they restaurant had been recently utilized to cater an event for JT LeRoy, a movie about the elusive/nonexistent author, currently filming in Winnipeg and starring the one and only Kristen Stewart.
Around 10 PM, the couple were approached with an intriguing proposition. “The owner came up to me, and he said, ‘Hey, is it OK if Kristen Stewart and her girlfriend Stella [Maxwell] come and have a few drinks with you guys?'” explains Kristen Jennings. “…I was like, ‘Yeah, totally! Yeah, no problem. Um, who is that?'”
Kayleigh continues, “I told Kir, ‘Hey, let’s just treat them as random guests. Let’s just treat them with kindness — southern hospitality. Winnipeg hospitality.'” Stewart and Maxwell arrived half an hour later.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BW5ZdlljdvO/
While the couple admitted it was a little awkward having complete strangers crash their wedding party, Stewart and Maxwell were polite and fun and didn’t make a spectacle of themselves. They reportedly hung around for about three hours, danced, drank and even requested songs. “We got to be formally introduced before they came in and partied with us. We got a chance to shake her hand and shake Stella’s hand,” Kayleigh offered. “I actually wasn’t as star-struck as I thought I would be.”
“They looked just like two normal girls,” Kirsten explained. “They look a little Hollywood, but if we didn’t know who they were, I don’t know if I would have known. We said ‘Hey, you know. Come on and meet your guests and, you know, don’t segregate yourselves. Come and party… There were only a few people who were star-struck. My Aunt Linda was extremely excited.” Aunt Linda is not alone in this sentiment.
JT LeRoy will tell the story of Savannah Knoop, a woman who pretended to be the infamous but ultimately imaginary author JT LeRoy for six years. Laura Dern will play Laura Albert, the actual author of all of LeRoy’s books. Aunt Linda is extremely excited.
OK Guys, Which Celesbian Is The New St Vincent Song About?
Late Thursday night, celestial creature and Vapid Fluff regular St Vincent released her latest song, downtrodden ballad “New York.” You’ve heard it; your ex sent it to you that night, followed by a ? emoji.
“New York isn’t New York without you, love / So far in a few blocks to be so low / And if I call you from First Avenue / Where you’re the only motherfucker in this city who can handle me,” Clark sings mournfully, and the entire world stops. I’m not even a huge St Vincent fan and this song completely ruined me.
So who’s the song about? Clark has famously dated musician/actress Carrie Brownstein, model/actress Cara Delevingne and actress/sulkmonster Kristen Stewart (she was also rumored to be involved with musician Lissy Trullie in or around 2009). Is the song about heartbreaker Carrie Brownstein? Both performers are notoriously private, and although tabloids love to speculate about the breakup being less than amicable, little is known about their relationship or its demise.
(Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/VF13/WireImage)
Of these, it seems that her most intense relationship was with Delevingne, with whom Clark was rumored to be engaged; the two seem to have remained good friends. As far as we know, all clues seem to point in this direction.
“New love wasn’t true love, back to you, love / So much for a home run with some blue bloods / If I last-strawed you on Eighth Avenue / Where you’re the only motherfucker in the city who can stand me.” Story checks out!
Remember when Cara and Annie broke up and then Annie was almost immediately spotted walking down Astor Place with Kristen Stewart in matchy-matchy outfits? And then five minutes later that relationship was over too, and Cara and Annie were seen out together in LA? I do.
https://twitter.com/ridll/status/808919690189926400?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fperezhilton.com%2F2016-12-14-kristen-stewart-cara-delevingne-stella-maxwell-st-vincent-spotted
“New York isn’t New York without you, love / Too few of our old crew left on Astor / So if I trade our ‘hood for some Hollywood / Where you’re the only motherfucker in the city who would / Only motherfucker in the city who would / Only motherfucker in the city who’d forgive me.”
Cara, if you’re out there, don’t fuck it up.
RETURNING A SWEATSHIRT?? Kristen Stewart Seen Leaving Ex Alicia Cargile’s Home
Everybody’s favorite real-life Shane Kristen Stewart turned quite a few heads this morning (mostly the heads of paparazzi who don’t have a lot else going on) when she was seen leaving the home of her former paramour (and in this reporter’s opinion, One True Love) Alicia Cargile. Depending on who you talk to, this is or isn’t a huge deal – I mean, you leave buildings all the time, right? Who knows who lives there? Maybe it’s your ex, maybe it’s your uncle, maybe it’s the post office, who can really say? The ever-classy Daily Mail made sure to note that Victoria’s Secret model and apparent famous person Stella Maxwell (who has been dating Stewart for the better part of the last few months) was nowhere to be seen, a sure sign that the pair are headed for trouble, despite Kristen literally risking her life to take a good picture of Stella as recently as May 31st. While Maxwell and Stewart are reportedly shacking up in Stewart’s Los Feliz home, the two have not been photographed together in at least a week (which is six months in celesbian time). Everybody knows a lesbian couple cannot spend more than three hours apart without breaking up.
Most glaringly, Stewart was seen leaving Cargile’s home in the same outfit she had been wearing the day before, as she had been photographed pumping gas.
photos via Backgrid/JustJared
The star has also been recently seen roaming Los Angeles, running errands, having apparently “adapted her look perfectly to her peroxide blonde buzzcut” (whatever that means). What conclusions can we draw from this information? Well, it depends who you ask:
- Kristen and Alicia are definitely sleeping together and Stella is OVER
- Kristen and Stella are open or whatever and it doesn’t matter what Kristen does
- Kristen and Alicia are mature friends who crash at each other’s houses sometimes, and last night Alicia did Kristen’s roots while they watched Netflix and ate Cheetos
- Kristen got lost on the way home from Lassen’s and was staying at an Airbnb that just happened to be in Alicia’s building
- Kristen’s entire wardrobe consists of identical outfits, like Daria:
Draw your own conclusions. I for one have missed these two together. Have you ever visited your ex-girlfriend’s home for reasons that may seem mysterious to people who have no real cause to observe your life? What were you doing? Tell me about it.
Kate McKinnon Is Witch-Cursed Kristen Stewart on SNL
America’s second favorite lesbian Harry Styles was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live last night, but that wasn’t the gayest part of the whole shebang. That honor was reserved for the big queer inception of Kate McKinnon playing Kristen Stewart on a time-traveling episode of Family Feud. It’s 2017 stars vs. 1977 stars and if you close your eyes or throw your laptop out into the street you don’t even have to see Jimmy Fallon playing John Travolta on both planes of the space-time continuum.
https://youtu.be/JWWfVqswylo
I actually don’t know which thing is funnier: McKinnon’s spot-on impression, dude, or the gentle clowning from Steve Harvey and Liza Minelli. “You look like a witch cursed you not to smile but you’re trying anyway.” “You look like a little orphan boy but you’re so beautiful!”
It’s no Totinos but if it distracts you from the various nuclear wars Donald Trump is trying to start, that’s a well spent eight minutes.
Mildly Thirsty Bella Thorne Wants A Girlfriend, Like Ideally Kristen Stewart (Get In Line, Kiddo)
feature and other photos by Mona Kuhn for Harper’s Bazaar
You know that thing where you’re a Disney star and you’re beloved across the globe, while your very curated public persona is incredibly squeaky clean and wholesome… until you turn about 18 and suddenly emphatically demand that the world recognizes you as a free-spirited, sexual being? Yeah, cool, me neither.
In this month’s Harper’s Bazaar, former Disney star Bella Thorne poses provocatively in a Marilyn Monroe-style photo shoot. Fittingly, she also engages her interviewer in a discussion about the pitfalls of fame, particularly for someone so young dealing with the social media-saturated 24-hour news cycle. Bella explains how during her tenure on the hugely popular Disney show Shake It Up, she was forced to dress in a more feminine fashion and even speak in a higher tone of voice in order to appear demure and non-threatening to the show’s young audience.
Since being released from her Disney contract, Thorne has worked hard to rebrand herself in a more raw, grown-up and honest way, releasing her debut album and speaking openly about her struggles with dyslexia and depression. She describes experiencing enormous relief as she found herself able to dress like a tomboy if she wanted, get a tattoo, have her septum pierced – normal things a young woman exploring her own identity might do. Thorne came out as bisexual on Twitter late last summer, and since then the 19-year-old has been the subject of great fascination among the entire Autostraddle Vapid Fluff department (I am the entire Autostraddle Vapid Fluff department). She explains to interviewer Olivia Fleming that although she feels obligated to use her very public platform to speak out about personal issues, she also struggles to maintain a sense of privacy in her life and relationships.
“It’s hard every time I step out of the house,” she explains. “I have to worry about someone photographing my acne and how’s it going to look and if someone’s going to write about me having bad skin because ‘she was partying’ or ‘out too late the night before.’ That part sucks for sure.” Thorne notes that the paparazzi have made dating especially stressful – “Even if I’m not dating somebody, even if we’re just seen hanging out, he must be my boyfriend and we’re moving in and holy shit we’re getting married! I want to go ice skating and I want to ride dirt bikes or do something dope as a date, but I can’t… because if I step outside, he’s my boyfriend all of a sudden. So it’s like, Oh fuck, well, we can only go to your house or mine, we can’t leave the house.”
While Bella’s announcement of her bisexuality was met with overwhelming support from her fans, she has yet to date a girl – though she does clarify that she’s “done other stuff.” She’d like to, but has found flirting with women confusing. “I can’t tell if a girl is hitting on me or she just wants to be friends. And I don’t want to flirt with a girl if she thinks I’m just being her friend. What if I kiss a girl and she’s like Oh, I’m just your friend dude, I can’t believe you just crossed that boundary. I’m confused on what they want from me.” Girl, same.
Since breaking up with Teen Wolf’s Tyler Posey last November, Thorne has been single. In her own words, “I’m single as fuck. I could not be more single. This is the longest I’ve ever been super single.” She clarifies later that she loves being in a stable, committed relationship, and that she finds her single status frustrating. If you are a girl who would like to date Bella Thorne, she’s just letting you know, she’s available.
Later, Thorne admits that if she had to choose a girl to date, she’d prefer to begin with the Real Life Shane of Los Feliz, Kristen Stewart. “She’s so hot,” Bella gushes. “She seems like the raddest chick… I’d be so down.”
A cursory glance through Autostraddle’s significant coverage of Kristen’s seemingly deliberate attempts to date every single famous queer woman in Hollywood reveals that all Bella Thorne may need to do in order to make her dreams come true is wait like, six months. That said, Bella Thorne, we applaud your bravery and wish you success in every sense of the word.
Listen,
“See now I’m performing emotional labor.”
– Rachel, Managing Editor
(Photo by Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images for Fashion Media)
(Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)
(Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
Kristen Stewart Is “Like, So Gay Dude” On SNL And We’re All Dead
We knew it might happen – in fact, we knew there was a pretty good chance it would happen – but tonight, while hosting SNL, Kristen Stewart completely outgayed herself.
In the last year, Stewart has become a fantastic, almost mythical character in gay lady circles. She went from being the fidgety, perpetually uncomfortable focus of constant queer-ish speculation to the real-life Shane our community has always deserved. In the last year alone, the notoriously guarded actress went from dating French actress/singer Soko to moving in with her on-again, off-again love Alicia Cargile, to holding hands at fashion shows with St. Vincent and most recently making out in cars with Victoria’s Secret model and former Miley Cyrus paramour Stella Maxwell. It’s safe to say that at this point in her career, Kristen Stewart doesn’t give a fuck anymore.
These are difficult times, gentle reader, and the country’s political climate is so intense (and our current president is so violently opposed to current events-based live sketch comedy) that SNL could not help but begin this evening’s festivities with a pointed message from host and Noted Kisser Of Ladies Kristen Stewart to our own Fearless Leader. She chose this opportunity to directly address a series of batshit insane tweets sent by the current leader of the free world back in 2012 regarding her relationship with sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson. “Donald,” she announced, staring directly into the camera, “if you didn’t like me then, you’re probably not gonna like me now, ’cause I’m like, hosting SNL and I’m like, soooo gay, dude.”
All of her body language was taken directly from Shane McCutcheon’s 2008 New York Times bestseller How To Make Your Awkward Fidgeting Alarmingly Attractive To Literally Everyone. She was later joined on stage by fellow queer heartthrob Kate McKinnon and cast member Aidy Bryant, who attempted to impress Kristen with their aloof badassery. In the middle of explaining that she actually wasn’t a sex-crazed, motorcycle-riding, too-cool-for-school rebel, Stewart dropped an impressive f-bomb on live TV. Kristen, we’ll never get over you.
Later, SNL took this glorious opportunity to turn a typical Totino’s pizza rolls ad into a documentary about what actually happens when Kristen Stewart shows up at your house unexpectedly (essentially Blue Is The Warmest Color with less spaghetti):
We’re all doing great.
Year-End Roundup: Celebrity Breakups That Remind Us That Love Is Still A Lie
The year of our lord 2016 was a terrible year, filled with unimaginable horrors on every single level. We lost some of the greatest artists of any generation, saw the American political landscape go up in flames and watched aghast as the world ceased making any sense whatsoever. Throughout this waking nightmare, there’s been some comfort in watching a universal truth proved time and time again: that love is a lie and we are all going to die alone. No one on Earth has proved this more effectively than the queer celebrities we have so earnestly followed on Instagram; we watched their relationships bloom and thrive, only to see them wither and inevitably crumble into dust. Let’s take a look back at all of the breakups that have shaped our world during this year of perpetual sadness.
Hannah Hart & Ingrid Nilsen
These two YouTube darlings charmed the pants off the entire internet with their relationship, which came on the heels of Nilsen’s adorable coming-out video. Hannah had never talked about her relationships publicly before, and Ingrid had never been known to have openly queer relationships, so the whole thing was a milestone for their fans. Sadly, in April, both stars let it slide via Twitter that the union known universally as #Hangrid was no more.
Brittney Griner & Glory Johnson
It hurts to reflect upon these two because their relationship was so tumultuous and often upsetting, culminating in both Johnson and Griner being arrested for domestic assault in 2015. They finalized their divorce in late June, and have both hopefully moved on to healthier relationships.
Demi Lovato & All Of Us
Listen, OK, I love Demi Lovato too. “Cool For The Summer” was a pivotal moment for modern pop music, and Lovato’s sly acknowledgement of her previous queer experiences gave all of us hope that one day, Demi Lovato would be our girlfriend – nay, the people’s girlfriend. She was a colorful character in No Filter and a frequent character in Trans Editor Mey Rude’s daydreams. Everything was going to plan; she unceremoniously broke up with her longtime boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama, and it seemed that at any moment Demi Lovato would emerge as the bisexual icon we all knew she could be – and then, just as quickly as she’d arrived, she ruined it. In September, Women’s Health reported that, “many in the media speculated that when her hit song “Cool For The Summer” was released last year, she was coming out as bisexual. Demi admits that, yes, her music is fueled by personal experience, but she believes in experimentation, not labels.” While nobody is demanding that Demi label herself or behave as an official representative of the LGBTQ community, her reduction of her experience to “experimentation” was a bummer, and a beautiful dream died that day.
Ruby Rose & Harley Gusman
Honestly, this whirlwind relationship wasn’t much fun to cover, not nearly as important as Rose’s romance with Phoebe Dahl or her current rekindled love with The Veronicas’ Jessica Origliasso. Truly Organic entrepeneur Gusman celebrated the 4th of July with Ruby and Taylor Swift, appeared in a lot of cute Instagrams, and then suddenly and unceremoniously disappeared from our lives. I assume that Ruby probably still drinks a lot of cold-pressed juices, just with someone else.
Queen Latifah & Eboni Nichols
I’m not saying Queen Latifah broke up with her longtime partner this year, but if she had, she would have become an important part of this roundup.
Laura Jane Grace & Beatrice Martin
It was a magical day when Coeur de Pirate’s Beatrice Martin came out as bisexual, and our hearts exploded when it was revealed that Martin was dating punk legend and acclaimed superhero Laura Jane Grace. The pair were inseparable and totally gooey over each other on social media, which was a lot of fun for me as the editor of No Filter but also lovely to watch in general. Things seemed to be all sunshine and roses, until the pair suddenly split (Rolling Stone’s controversial article seemed to suggest that Grace was torn between Martin and her ex-wife) – but not before Grace.. maybe got a tattoo of Beatrice’s name? Nothing gold can stay.
Annie Clark & Cara Delevingne
For ages, I wondered what the hell these two talked about when they were together; Cara had always seemed like a bit of a wild child and a strange match for serene, ethereal guitar goddess Annie Clark. In February, the tabloids were breathlessly reporting that they’d gotten engaged atop the Eiffel Tower, and then suddenly before we knew what had happened, it was over. Cara’s been spotted cavorting around town with Amber Heard, but Annie? Oh, Annie…
Kristen Stewart & Alicia Cargile
Of all the gal pal splits of 2016, this one hurts the most. We were innocents when we met Alicia Cargile, the tender angel whose beachside frolics with Kristen had spurred an entire wave of intense fervor over Stewart’s sexuality. Alicia Cargile became the inspiration for a new verb I invented to describe being a relative unknown dating a celesbian: cargiling. For all of 2015, we accepted the relationship between Cargile and Stewart as an open secret in the queer community, but it wasn’t until this year that Kristen seemed to drop all the fucks she’d ever given about how she’s perceived by the world at large. Late last year, she and Alicia quietly split, and Kristen spent the early part of the year swapping spit all over Paris with Soko. Just as that relationship seemed to be solidifying into something real, they broke up – and next thing we knew, Alicia was back in business, proudly holding her girlfriend’s checkered Vans for her on the red carpet at Cannes. Kristen started talking about Alicia in interviews, calling Alicia her girlfriend for real, discussing her sudden openness about her sexuality, declaring how amazing it felt to be in love and transparent about that love… and then… and then.
Enter Annie Clark.
Look, I didn’t like this either. It’s a universally accepted truth that there’s only so many famous queer women and they’re all going to date one another at one point or another, like a class of rural high school students, but this was just cruel and absurd. I don’t believe in love, especially not for myself, but I have to admit: I truly thought Alicia and Kristen were going to make it. I believed in them, and now I feel betrayed. No matter how cute Annie and Kristen may have looked as they tenderly hold hands at fashion shows and creep around the East Village in perfectly styled slightly matchy outfits, they’ll never give me the same misguided hope that Kristen inspired in me with her relationship with Alicia – and after all of that, it looks like they may have already broken up anyway.
Love is dead. See you in 2017.