Queer Mom Chronicles: Halloween Is Just Another Reminder My Kid Is Growing Up

It feels like Halloween always sneaks up on me. After my son’s birthday, it’s a hop, skip and a scream into the holiday season, and yet, I forget that every year. Even though we call Thanksgiving into Christmas the “holiday season,” I’d argue it really starts at Halloween because Thanksgiving is the bridge holiday. We went to Target a week and a half before Halloween, and there were already Christmas decorations out! I picked up two Christmas tree ornaments for my kid alongside the four bags of Halloween candy we got.

As a parent, Halloween is always such a mess of a holiday. You ask your kid what they want to be, they tell you, you get the costume, and then they change their mind or want to wear the costume before the holiday and you fight about it. My son is incredibly picky and also incredibly indecisive, so picking out a Halloween costume is a literal nightmare. There were a few years when he wasn’t really interested in celebrating, and they were my absolute favorite. But now that he’s in school, dressing up is important, even if we’re not going to celebrate. If the holiday falls on a school day, then the kids can wear their costumes. And more often than not, Halloween has fallen on a school day since he started kindergarten.

He was obsessed with the Minions when he was a baby, so this was the easy choice

In kindergarten, he decided he wanted to be Spider-Man. I bought him a costume online that was going to get to us in time for the actual day, but not for the Halloween party we were attending the weekend before. I found him a super cheap Spidey costume and had to fight with him to wear the more expensive costume to school. There was screaming and crying, and somehow I still managed to get out the door with my dignity intact. Two years later, I was less successful trying to get him to wear the Power Rangers costume he picked out. Moral of the story: My son doesn’t like costumes with fake muscles. That means most superheroes are out. Last year, he went as Ash Ketchum from Pokémon, which was cute. This year, he’s going as some Minecraft character. Please don’t ask me which one; he has told me a dozen times and it does not compute. All I know is that it’s not Steve, and the ax we got should have been a sword.

The Spider-Man costume that he almost refused to wear

This year is the first time in a couple years that he can go trick or treating. He usually has his afterschool program on Halloween and has had to skip tricks and treats. This kid was so excited that he picked out his Halloween costume the last weekend in September. More importantly, he hasn’t changed his mind! He has been asking to wear it while he plays, and I keep telling him no. We’ll both be happy when he can turn it into a dress-up costume.

Halloween is one of those holidays that remind me that even though I have a “big” kid, he’s still just a kid, and he’s clearly not in a hurry to grow up. He was so excited to walk through the costume section of Target, giving us his commentary on why he likes or dislikes costumes. His eyes lit up when he saw that there were Minecraft costumes, and I have never seen him make a decision so quickly and definitively. He’s already talking about taking his McDonald’s Boo Buckets with him to collect all the candy he’s going to get, telling us he’s not willing to share with me or his stepmom. I reminded him that he only likes a couple kinds of candy, so the rest of his bucket is fair game. Even though he’s 10 and theoretically the days of wanting to trick or treat are winding down, he’s so excited about dressing up and going out to knock on strangers’ doors for candy.

He may be 10, but he still needs a grownup with him, and I’m happy to oblige. We’re going trick or treating with my friend and her four-year-old son, but her neighbor’s kids are my son’s age, so he’ll have some big kids to hang with. I’ve convinced my partner we should dress up too, even though her dreams of a family costume never came to fruition. She desperately hung on to the dream of us being Alvin and the Chipmunks for YEARS, but my kiddo just wasn’t that into it. It would have been perfect — the three of us naturally identify with a specific Chipmunk, but we missed our opportunity. A 10-year-old doesn’t want to wear matching costumes with his moms, and that’s fair.

Gotta catch ’em all last Halloween

Right now, I’m trying to enjoy this as much as I can. He is 10, and I know we only have a couple more years of trick or treating and wanting to hang out with his moms and not his friends. I still remember dressing him up as a pumpkin for his first Halloween, and now he’s dressing up as some sort of game character that carries a sword (not a pickaxe, as he not so gently corrected me). Gone are the days of pushing him in a stroller or holding his hand as he walks up to a house and plucks a lollipop from a bowl. Now I stand on the sidewalk and yell at him to grab me a Snickers if they have one. I still have to monitor the amount of candy he eats, but that’s because I don’t want him to eat all the Tootsie Pops.

Is it a baby’s first Halloween if they’re not dressed like a pumpkin?

These moments are fleeting, and of course he can’t understand why I want to take a million pictures of him in his costume before he goes to school. I can still remember dressing up and going trick or treating when I was his age, and now I’m the mom who’s combing through the candy bucket. The only thing that is still the same is that I don’t understand fruit flavored Tootsie Rolls or why people give out Good & Plentys. Pretty soon, I’m going to be yelling at him to not cause trouble with his friends while I drop him off and eat a 150 piece bag of Hershey miniatures while I cry about my son not needing me anymore. Honestly? I’m not prepared for it.

In two years, he’ll be starting middle school, and in three years he’ll officially be a teenager. I feel like Halloween is one of those things that marks the end of childhood and the beginning of everything that comes next. I don’t know if this year is going to be the last one where he wants to trick or treat and watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with me, so I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can.

What are y’all doing for Halloween? Do you dress up? I want to see!

He did not love that I drew a mustache on him, but sometimes you gotta make a sacrifice for the costume

Queer Mom Chronicles is a column where I examine all of the many facets of queer parenthood through my tired mom eyes. 

Obsessed: How “Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge” Ruined Its Gay Lead’s Life

The producers of the four-hour 2010 documentary Never Sleep Again, which aimed to provide a complete history of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, had to hire a private investigator to find the star of the series’ most infamous feature, 1985’s Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Mark Patton, who was in his mid-twenties when he played Jesse Walsh in Nightmare on Elm Street 2, had quit Hollywood altogether and gone off the grid, eventually moving to Puerto Vallerta, where he’d been running a small art store with his partner.

These days, Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge has acquired queer cult status, widely celebrated as one of the gayest horror movies of all time. But until the Never Sleep Again team reached out to him, Patton had no idea that Freddy’s Revenge had attracted a new cadre of passionate fans. All he knew was what he’d known at the time: everyone hated it, and everyone hated him, too.

Is Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge a Gay Movie?

Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge is a gay movie. But it was not supposed to be a gay movie. The hotly anticipated sequel to the beloved original was released in November of 1985, which wasn’t a big year for queer cinema, and definitely wasn’t a time that a major horror franchise with a movie slated for wide release would’ve gone gay intentionally.

However, the film is undeniably gay. Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge makes Rizzoli & Isles look like a Candace Cameron Bure Christmas movie. Jessie runs into his coach at a leather bar. He says things like “he’s inside me, and he wants to take me again!” He runs to his best friend’s house after making out with a girl at a party and begs to sleep over in said friend’s bed. There’s a shower scene where the naked coach is violently whipped on the ass with levitating towels while tennis balls shoot at him? There’s this dance scene. If you’ve seen it, you know — it’s just really gay.

Furthermore, Mark Patton was basically the first male scream queen, the first “final boy.” There’d always been sexual subtext between horror movie villains and their prey, but never before had that prey been a man.

The film was a financial success, sold out nationwide on the day of its release, but garnered mostly middling reviews, hate from fans, and a lot of homophobic backlash directed towards Patton. Meanwhile, rookie screenwriter David Chaskin refused, in interviews, to acknowledge that the film was meant to have any gay overtones at all.

Instead, Chaskin insisted the reason the film seemed gay was not because of his writing, but because of how Mark embodied the role. “There was certainly some intentional subtext but it was intended to play homophobic rather than homoerotic,” Chaskin said at the time. “There were certain choices that were made like casting that pushed the subtext to a higher level and stripped away whatever subtlety there might have been.”

In Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street, the 2020 documentary about this film and its impact on Patton’s life, Chaskin admits that the script was in part inspired by his observations of the AIDS crisis and imagining how terrifying it’d be to be a young man unsure of his sexuality in the mid-80s. But, he insisted, he had to deny this at the time because he didn’t want the subtext to be obvious and because it was “more fun” to deny it.

Did the cast and crew of Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge Know How Gay It Was?

Apparently mostly not, somehow!

Director Jack Sholder: “I simply did not have the self-awareness to realize that any of this might be interpreted as gay. I also had not the slightest idea that one of my lead actors was gay.” He says in Scream, Queen! that he laughed when The Village Voice ran a review declaring it a “great, gay movie.” He told Flashback Files that to him, “the movie was about repressed sexual angst that every teenager experiences.”

“Mark seemed obsessed with the idea that Dave Chaskin had written this gay subtext,” Sholder added. “And I was like: Who cares? Get over it. I thought it was funny that this was the way the film was being interpreted…. he had read the script and even he didn’t pick up on a gay subtext. It was one of the crew members who pointed it out to him.”

Producer and New Line Cinema founder Robert Shaye, who did a cameo as a bartender at the leather bar, claims to have been oblivious to it as well. So were co-producer Sarah Risher and actors Kim Myers (Lisa) and Marshall Bell (Coach Schneider).

Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) says “people have a bit of a selective memory around this… I knew we were treading in there.” Robert Rusler (Ron Grady) also caught on: “I knew there were homosexual undertones in the script when I read it. I knew at the audition.”

Englund actually wanted to play with the subtext more, suggesting he stick his bladed fingers into Mark’s mouth during the pivotal stairway scene. Makeup artist Danny Marc interrupted the shoot to pull Mark aside to tell him, “don’t you dare let him put that blade in your mouth. It’ll look like you’re blowing him.”

Apparently, someone in the Art Department was well aware. They placed a game called Probe in Mark’s closet, and put a sign that read “No Out of Town Chicks” on the door.

Line Producer Joel Soisson, interviewed in Never Sleep Again, missed the subtext at the time.”But looking back, it was so gay. It was amazing….all I can say was, we were all incredibly naive. Or, all incredibly latently gay. I’m not sure which.”

How did Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Derail Mark’s Career?

Patton’s agents hoped the film would turn their client into a movie star, and it did — but he was also caught in the crossfire of a film that was a massive disappointment to the franchise’s fans. To avoid a lifetime of typecasting, his agents needed to work quickly to revamp his image as heterosexual, which included revamping his personal wardrobe.

It was a uniquely terrible time to be gay in Hollywood — although it hadn’t been okay to be out and proud, Rock Hudson’s death from AIDS was causing gay actors to retreat further into the closet. Mark’s boyfriend, Timothy Murphy, best known for his role in Dallas, did aggressively heterosexual magazine profiles in which the apartment he shared with Mark was sold as his bachelor pad. Murphy died of AIDS-related complications in 1988, at the age of 29.

In 1987, Mark chose to quit acting. He’d been offered a role of a gay character on a TV pilot and was being asked by everyone involved how he planned to remain in the closet while playing the role, how he’d answer questions about having a girlfriend, and so on. “Hollywood looked like a ghost town. You’d see people and three months later they’d be dead,” Patton told Buzzfeed News. “I thought, My god, half the world is fucking dying and these people are sitting here having this conversation. I didn’t get into [acting] for this.”

He recalls in Scream, Queen!: “I wanted to be a movie star, and I made it, and I didn’t want to destroy it. And this movie destroyed it.” He moved back to New York and became an interior director and architect. Around the age of 40, Mark got sick, went to the hospital, and was diagnosed with HIV, tuberculosis and pneumonia and thrush. He barely survived, but he did survive. While still based in Puerto Vallerta, he’s getting back into acting, going to fan cons and special screenings, and doing what he can to raise awareness around AIDS and homophobia.

(Photo by Jaime Nogales/Medios y Media/Getty Images)

Read & Watch More About Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge and Mark Patton

Read:

A Nightmare in Hollywood Couldn’t Kill Mark Patton (Plus Magazine, 2013): “In an exclusive interview with HIV Plus, the iconic star of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 comes out as HIV-positive and reflects on why Hollywood’s homophobia caused him to walk away from his dream.”

Mark Patton on Fighting the HIV Horror Show With Honesty (The Body, 2013): Mark talks about how he decided to parlay his cult fame into being an advocate around HIV and homophobic bullying.

On the Set of Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge: this was exciting to me ’cause some of it was filmed in my old neighborhood.

The Nightmare Behind The Gayest Horror Film Ever Made (Buzzfeed, 2016): I didn’t find this piece until I was almost done writing this one, but it’s incredibly thorough!

‘A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge’ Deserves a Second Look (Bloody Disgusting, 2016)

Why “A Nightmare on Elm Street 2” Is the Gayest Slasher Film Of All Time (Attitude, 2019)

Watch:

Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge: You can stream it on Max or Prime Video.

Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy(2010): The award-winning four-hour documentary (I know, heaven!!!) offering a behind-the-scenes look at the legacy of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. They go into so much fascinating detail about the films’ special effects.

Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street (2020): The documentary about “the gayest horror movie ever made!” that got me interested in all this to begin with.

Horror Is So Gay is an annual Autostraddle series of queer and trans reflections on horror.

9 Niche Last Minute Queer Halloween Costumes No One Will Understand But You

Halloween’s around the corner and you’ve done close to nothing to prepare. You’ve already seen a number of Antler Queens on your For Your Page, along with several Bottoms characters in rugby shirts, nonbinary droplets of water (thank you, Disney), and some others who make you ask yourself, “Are they Weird Barbie or do they Just Look Like That?”

Don’t panic, because I’ve got your back with some queer halloween costumes that you can throw together in minutes before heading out the door for your overpriced all-queer Halloween event that you’ll spend an hour waiting in line for despite purchasing tickets two months in advance. Enjoy!

Dress Up as Your Ex Using All of the Clothes They Left Behind Six Years Ago

Listen, I know it, you know it, your therapist knows it, a quarter of your wardrobe belongs to your ex. These finger-me-down items may typically be reserved for sleeping or sitting in a chair staring out of a window as the seasons pass by to the tune of “Possibility” by Lykke Li – but trust, they’d make a great Halloween costume. But don’t stop there, check your shower drain. I bet there’s enough there to make a believable wig. Just be sure to coordinate with your friend group to make sure you’re not planning to be the same ex.

Dress Up as Your Ex’s Ex Using Pretty Much the Same Clothes

In the event that your ex is already claimed by a friend (classic), dress up as your ex’s ex because let’s face it, half of those clothes came from them first.

Dress Up as Your Favorite Celebrity That Was Accused of Queer Baiting This Year

Suspend your understanding of the appropriate uses of the term queerbaiting for a moment, you’re in a pinch afterall. Did your favorite celeb make a music video set at an all-girls sleepover this year? Maybe they played a teenage bisexual character without releasing a detailed record of their dating history? Perhaps someone you stan wore a skirt instead of pants to a red carpet event? That’s your villain costume right there. Note: this costume might perform best on the internet.

Dress Up as Your High School English Teacher

The fun thing about this one is that your whole friend group can do it and you’ll still look unique. You see, “high school English teacher” isn’t so much a look as it is a vibe. To execute the best high school English teacher costume, all you’ll need is a library card, an unfinished novel, a fiancé, a limited edition Starbucks to-go cup, and an earnest promise to stay in touch after graduation.

Dress Up as Your Barista Crush, Then Go Visit Them on Their Shift

It’s been two months and you’ve tried absolutely everything. You’ve shown up, you’ve waited in line, hell… you’ve even ordered your coffee AND gave your name (except for that one time you nervously gave the wrong name). If none of those flirting techniques have worked for you, here’s one last ditch effort: go get your septum pierced, find a black smith’s apron, and clock in for love.

Dress Up as the “Perfect Guy” the Straight Best Friend You Were in Love With Would Describe at Sleepovers

Proceed with caution… this costume idea is not for the faint of heart. Side effects may include: wondering what could have been, stalking her on Facebook, weird feelings about gender, and stalking her husband on Facebook.

Dress Up as Your Favorite Queer Sports Star

I’m not talking about Megan Rapinoe, Brittney Griner, Billie Jean King, etc. because they would all be on a list of Recognizable Queer Halloween Costumes Mostly Everyone Will Understand. No, I’m talking about the highschool cheerleading captain who came out quietly after graduation, the soccer teammate who was “too busy for boys,” or even the college rugby player who tried to flirt with you five times before you realized she was gay.

Dress Up as the Hobby You Pretended to Like for Them

Okay simp, pick yourself up off the floor and go get laid. No costume? No problem. You have at least $800 worth of hobby supplies laying around your apartment just from your last situationship. Clear the dust bunnies and take your pick: crocheter, yogi, rock climber, candlemaker… and then maybe leave it all behind before going home. Seriously, you’re running out of storage space.

Dress Up as the Lead Character in Your Unpublished Queer Novel/Screenplay/Fanfic

You’ve imagined them, written them, re-written them, and now it’s time to be them. Pick your favorite character from the slew of documents you keep in that one desktop folder and bring them to life. Will anyone know who you are? Absolutely not, but what better way to introduce and workshop your lead character to the world? Sounds like a win-win to me.

25 Lesbian Halloween Couples Costume Ideas

Every year, my fiancée Kristen and I swear we’re going to do a better job of tracking our couples costumes ideas in the months leading up to Halloween. Every year, we forget and scramble in August/September to figure out our looks. August/September may sound like we’re still getting ready very early, but due to our DIY/cobbling together approach to costumes, these things take time! Wouldn’t it be grand if we went into September 1 already having most of what we need for the following month’s very important holiday? Of course, we’d run the risk of having a last-minute idea for something better, but I have no issues with doing multiple costumes in one Halloweek. In fact, it’s my preference! If you and your boo are scrambling to pull together coordinated looks this year, I’ve got you covered. Here are 25 lesbian Halloween couples costume ideas (that would also work for, like, all types of queer couples).

Pop Culture Lesbian Halloween Couples Costumes

Barbie/Barbie or Barbie/Ken or Ken/Ken (Barbie movie)

Whether you’re femme4femme, butch4butch, femme4butch or somewhere along the vast spectrum of these categories, just about any couple can pull off some version of what’s sure to be one of the more popular Halloween motifs this year. We can’t let the heterosexuals dominate Barbie looks. We must be the gay Barbies and Kens of our wildest dreams. Personally, I’m a big fan of the 80s roller skating looks, but a Barbie cowgirl/boy costume would be great, too. And if you wanna go for Weird Barbie, we’ve got you covered.

Taissa and Van (Yellowjackets)

I also wrote you a full guide for how to do a DIY Yellowjackets costume with an emphasis on group costume options. But going as these cannibal lovebirds would be so cute…in a creepy way! Whoever is Taissa should definitely use makeup to create the effect of dirt on your mouth. If you decide to do adult versions of the characters, Taissa can carry a prop heart meant to be Biscuit’s (RIP Biscuit), and Van can carry VHS copies of cult classic 90s films.

Nandor and Guillermo (What We Do in the Shadows)

This might not be an obvious lesbian couples costume, but lemme tell ya, my fiancée Kristen and I rocked the hell out of it. Kristen went as Nandor, and I went as the vampire slayer version of Guillermo. We made the dog be “creepy paper,” a joke from the pilot that has never stopped making me laugh. I repurposed a vampire stake from a Buffy costume (obvs Faith/Buffy are another classic lesbian halloween couples costume choice) and got the rest of my look from a thrift store. Kristen priced up for the realistic-looking vampire fangs, which I definitely recommend doing. I also maybe look like Milo in Atlantis: The Lost Empire? Which would be a good lesbian costume as well.

Scroll through our pics for more inspo:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kristen Arnett (@kristen__arnett)

Dr. Ellie Sattler and a T-Rex (Jurassic Park)

This is a REVEAL! Because this is what Kristen and I are doing this year! I already own or am thrifting a lot of the components of Laura Dern’s iconic look in Jurassic Park. Kristen got an official licensed Jurassic World dino mask from Target that ROARS when you open your mouth. We think it might be made for children, but it fits both of our heads. She got dino claws as well, and we’re going to figure out a way to give her shirt a scaley look. I feel like this is a low effort, high payoff couples costume route, especially because Dr. Ellie Sattler is a root for so many dykes. As an alternative, I feel like a hot gay couple could pull off Ellie and Malcolm really well. Even though they’re not a couple in the movie, Jeff Goldblum’s looks are just so dykey. I literally own everything he wears.

Max and Esther or Carson and Greta (A League of Their Own)

Once again, I’ve got you covered with a comprehensive DIY A League of Their Own costume guide. I’ve also made specific style guides for Max, Carson, and Greta if you need more inspiration. You can’t go wrong with dressing as either of these couples! It’d be so cute! And if you want to add an extra layer, go as “undead” versions of the characters to call attention to the unfortunate fact that the series was unceremoniously axed. 😞

Villanelle and Eve (Killing Eve)

Sandra Oh as Eve Polastri, Jodie Comer as Villanelle – Killing Eve _ Season 2, Episode 5 – Photo Credit: Robert Viglasky/BBCAmerica

Nothing says Halloween romance like going as a psychopathic assassin and the woman obsessed with bringing her down and/or kissing her on the mouth. Eve is an especially good costume for my fellow babes with long, dark curly hair. And if you really want to go all out as Villanelle, you’ve gotta do the pink dress or something similar.

Sophie and Bee (Bodies Bodies Bodies)

It’d be pretty easy to do these as a last minute costume after one trip to a thrift store. Whoever is Bee definitely needs a crossbody phone strap. And you should be the versions of these characters at movie’s end (AKA covered in blood and dirt). Also, while they’re not a couple like these two, I think it’d be a really fun lesbian couples costume to go as Pete Davidson’s character David and Rachel Sennott’s character Alice. The David would get to wear a pink shorts sweatsuit like the one David dies in and wield a champagne bottle and fake sword. The Alice would get to wear glow stick necklaces and a crocheted crop top. Honestly, two VERY lez looks.

PJ and Josie (Bottoms)

Speaking of Rachel Sennott, I’m hoping to see AT LEAST a few Halloween costumes out in the wild paying homage to MY Sapphic movie of the year, Bottoms. Sure, they’re not a couple, but PJ and Josie as a duo RULE. We have a style guide for both characters for inspiration. And, of course, you’ve gotta have fake blood for this one. Lean into the fight club of it all.

Pinhead and a Cenobite (Hellraiser)

For my freaky gays! Sure, one of you could be Pinhead and one of you could be a human character, but I say go even harder on the depravity and disgusting details and channel everyone’s favorite sadomasochists from hell. These costumes would require a lot of work if you’re going full DIY, so this lesbian halloween couples costume is for the slightly more advanced couples who know their way around a glue gun, sewing machine, and prosthetic makeup. If you go this route, you’re legally obligated to show me a photo.

Mindy and Ghostface (Scream)

Going as an iconically gay scream queen and the Scream big bad themself would be sooooo good. Even though it’s not the exact Lavender Menace shirt Jasmin Savoy Brown wears in the most recent Scream movie, I think the Autostraddle version of the shirt would suffice. Pair it with her orange zip up hoodie, and throw some patches on it. Ghostface costumes, meanwhile, are easy to come by.

Billy and Stu (Scream)

While we’re talking Scream, I think we can all agree there’s something undeniable homoerotic about the first iterations of Ghostface: Billy and Stu. I can easily imagine a lesbian couple pulling off these looks. And as I keep saying in this list: Don’t forget the fake blood!

Jennifer and Needy (Jennifer’s Body)

The move here imo would be to go in the characters’ school dance looks. For Jennifer, that means the white gown covered in blood, with white long gloves. For Needy, that means a poofy pink dress. Either dress could easily be thrifted.

Velma and Daphne (Scooby Doo)

They’re a classic lesbian Halloween couples costume choice for a reason. Thrift the components of the costumes or buy ready-made ones in a pinch. And channel the steaminess of this Jenifer Prince print:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by jenifer prince (@jeniferrprince)

A femme4butch couple could alternatively do Daphne and Fred.

Morticia and Gomez (The Addams Family)

Again, I feel like this is a classic queer Halloween couples costume choice. And for good reason! They definitely read as a bi4bi couple, no?! A femme4femme couple could alternatively mix spooky universes and be Morticia and Elvira, who is canonically gay now that Cassandra Peterson has come out imo.

Betty and Veronica or Cheryl and Toni (Riverdale)

The best part of the final season of Riverdale? The fact that everyone turned out to be a little bit gay. Betty/Veronica became canon, and of course, our longtime lovebirds Cheryl and Toni got their maple syrupy sweet happy ending. Pay homage to the end of an era with sapphic Riverdale couples costumes.

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion

Listen, they also made the list for Halloween costumes for short/tall couples. And they deserve to be on two lists, because this would be SUCH a HOT queer Halloween couples costume. Get their “Bongos” looks if you want to accurately pay homage to their scissoring moment in the recent music video.

Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger (Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street)

This would be a good couples costume for dykes who appreciate things like the Horror Is So Gay series at Autostraddle. AKA, horror lovers with an appreciation for the Slashics, like the franchises each of these iconic villains hail from. Michael Myer’s signature jumpsuit is a v gay look, and haven’t most lesbians gone through a stripes and/or weird hat phase like Freddy?

Jess and Jules (Bend It Like Beckham)

I knew I had to have something for my sporty gays, and I’m sure there are plenty of gay athlete couples you could go as, but I’d be remiss not to shout out my personal favorite queer subtext movie of all time. Throw together some football kits and grab a ball. If you’re desi and have saris on hand, you can be the version of Jess wearing a sari for the family function.

Eleanor and Theo (The Haunting 1999)

Look, I just watched this 1999 remake of The Haunting — one of the various on-screen adaptations of The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson — and it was…so bad! Just a very bad movie! My girl Shirl was probably rolling in her grave! I’m very much partial to the 1963 film (and, of course, the Netflix series), but I won’t lie: Catherine Zeta Jones’ looks as campy bisexual Theo are pretty hot. Furs! Feathers! Knee-high boots! Perfect combination for a high femme/long haired butch or high femme/lazy femme duo.

Conceptual Lesbian Halloween Couples Costumes

Undead Lesbian TV Characters

Pretty straightforward! Just assemble a costume for a lesbian TV character who has died (there are so many to choose from…) and they slather on the Halloween makeup. I’d love to see an undead Jenny Schecter tbh. Take our quiz: Plan a Halloween Party and I’ll Tell You Which Ghost of a Queer TV Character Is Haunting You.

Fishwives

Perhaps this is niche, but for my tinned fish-loving lesbians out there, you can channel the brand Fishwife by becoming literal fishwives. What does this look like? Perhaps just fish costumes or going all out to make DIY tinned fish costumes. Or maybe one of you is the fisherman and one of you is the fish. Go wild! As a reminder, A+ members get 15% off Fishwife orders. Also these fishmasks (depicted above) are kind of haunting but also would look like they’re kissing.

U-Haul Lesbians

This would be a good last-minute option, because you basically just need to grab some moving boxes (preferably U-Haul brand if you’re going for accuracy) and attach some suspender straps to them so you can wear them around you. Voila! U-Haul Lesbians!

Riot Ghouls

This came to me in the middle of the night, and I cannot stop laughing. It’s like riot grrrl but ghouls. GET IT? Basically just don your best punk looks, band shirts, heavy boots, etc. Perhaps you already have everything you need in your closet! Then add in the fake blood and Halloween makeup to make it spooky. BOOM. Riot Ghouls.

Femmeslashers

This is the slightly more punny take on the Michael Myers/Freddy Kreuger costume idea. Basically dress up as villanous characters from different slasher franchises, and if people ask, specify that you are FEMMESLASHERS. Anyone who gets the play on words is instant friendship material.

Final Gays

Same concept as above but you both dress up as final girls from different franchises! Like a Sidney Prescott/Laurie Strode combo.

Hit me with more hot Halloween ideas in the comments!

41 Spooky, Scary, Halloween Recipes for Your Monster Mash or Fright Night

Halloween is totally the best, right? Halloween costumes, Halloween decorations, Halloween movies, Halloween parties, and of course, Halloween food. Whether you’re looking for pumpkin-themed everything, delicious treats that look disgusting, or candy corn added to things it probably shouldn’t be, we’ve got you covered with these Halloween recipes.

We have Halloween recipes for cakes and cookies and donuts and cider. There are options for a proper spooky Halloween party and for a gentler autumnal vibe. There’s even a pizza mummy. Yeah, you read that right, a pizza mummy.

Imagine some cute queers show up to your Halloween party and you get to say, “Hey do you want some pizza mummy?” Best Halloween ever.

1. Black Velvet Cupcakes

Photo credit: Authentic Images / Getty Images

2. Vegan Pumpkin Nog

3. Pumpkin Macaroni and Cheese

4. Witch’s Brew Cocktail

5. Candy Corn Hot Chocolate

6. Ouija Board Cookies

7. Deep-Fried Brains

8. Mini Monster Eyeball Donuts

Photo credit: Isabel Pavia / Getty Images

9. Pumpkin Roll

10. Curried Pumpkin Soup with Coconut

11. Buffalo Meatball Pumpkins

12. Pumpkin Cheesecake Mousse

Photo credit: Lauri Patterson / Getty Images

13. Candy Corn Vodka

14. Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins

15. Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls with Caramel Frosting

Photo credit: Mizina / Getty Images

16. Caramel Pumpkin Torte

17. Pumpkin Sugar Donuts

18. Dairy Free Gluten Free DTF Pumpkin Pie

19. Flourless Pumpkin Oatmeal Cookies

Photo credit: Anna Pustynnikova / Getty Images

20. Pretzel & Chocolate Spiders

21. Jack O’Lantern Shepherd’s Pie Stuffed Peppers

22. Mummy Oreo Truffles

23. Pumpkin Churro Waffles

24. Witches’ Brew Cupcakes

Photo credit: hsyncoban / Getty Images

25. Frozen Boo-nana Pops

26. Spider Web Oreo Cookies

27. Mini Ghost Pumpkin Cakes

28. Pumpkin Brulee Cheesecake Bars

Photo credit: yumehana / Getty Images

29. Braaaaaains Cupcakes

30. Meatball Mummies

31. Candy Corn Poppers

32. Snakebite Cider

Photo credit: Roxiller / Getty Image

33. Radish Eyeballs

34. Pumpkin Crumb Cakes

35. Almond Meringue Ghost Cookies

36. Pumpkin Brownie Cupcakes

37. Halloween Layer Cakes

Photo credit: Ruth Black / Getty Images

38. Caramel Pumpkin Spice Popcorn

39. Stuffed Mushroom Eyeballs

40. Marshmallow Web Cupcake Topper

41. Pizza Mummy Braid

Photo credit: jenifoto / Getty Images

What are your favorite Halloween recipes?

Quiz: Plan a Halloween Party and I’ll Tell You Which Ghost of a Queer TV Character Is Haunting You

Picture this: you’re innocently attempting to plan a Halloween Party. You’re not sure if you should name it “American Horror Story” or “Oh My Gourd!”. Will you have a theme? Will you prepare a playlist of songs or a playlist of people screaming at unexpected intervals? What will you wear? Will you serve caramel corn? Will you put peeled grapes in a bowl and say that the grapes are eyeballs? Will you put gummy worms on a table draped in a tablecloth dotted with pictures of bats and ghosts? These are very big decisions to make, and there is so much at stake.

But then, things suddenly get worse — you feel a breeze across your sweater’ed skin, like something ghoulish has passed by you, or passed through you. You think you can hear someone reciting Shakespeare through the vent, a knife sharpening through the wall. You think you can hear an erratic young writer chanting softly to herself as she composes terrible literary non-fiction. You think you can feel a spirit in the air. You are not sure if you can continue planning this Halloween party until you know specifically which ghost is haunting you.

Plan a Halloween Party and I'll Tell You Which Ghost of a Queer TV Character Is Haunting You

What image are you going to use for your party invitations?(Required)

And what are you calling the party itself?(Required)

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

Til Death Do Us Party

Zombie Prom

Memento Mori

Night of the Thirsty Dead

Witch Crafts

Halloween Party Time

What's the venue?(Required)

A bookstore:

A bar:

A castle:

A Palm Springs house:

A cool loft:

The woods:

A lakehouse:

What are you serving your guests?(Required)

A decadent Triple Berry Cake from an exclusive local bakery

Pancakes with strawberry syrup that looks like blood

Pumpkin bread and tiny pizzas

Caprese salad with tomatoes from the garden

Hot Cheetos

Shepherd’s Pie

Punch and Halloween Candy

What’s the music plan for your party?(Required)

Record player spinning your '70s-'80s album collection

Spooky Opera

A Spotify playlist you curated in high school which you are confident still slaps

"The Lost Boys" soundtrack

Mazzy Star and Portishead vibes

A live band (it's your friend's band)

Songs about birds

What movie are you gonna watch the night before?(Required)

What costume are you hoping to see someone sporting at your party?(Required)

Wednesday Addams

Barbie

Adonis Creed

M3gan

A Rockford Peach and/or a Red Wright All-Star

Taissa and Van from Yellowjackets

Mario and Luigi

And what will you be wearing?(Required)

What would turn your Halloween party into a nightmare?(Required)

If people leave to attend a cooler party

If a boy you don't like hits on the girl you do like

If anyone you didn't invite shows up

If it's past your bedtime and your guests won't go home

If anyone fucks with the lighting

If the only person on your guest list that you actually want to see doesn't show up

If your guests don't wear costumes according to the theme you selected

What would turn it into a dream?(Required)

If there are party pics on insta afterwards that make your ex or your haters think "wow, that person is doing such cool things in the world"

If someone in a really amazing costume tells you that you look hot

If everyone is happy and has a nice time and there are no demons

Well, you had this panic on the day of the party about how you invited all these people from different parts of your life and then you spiraled about that thinking like; what if they all know different parts of you? And which of those parts is the real you? What will they think when they see the new parts? And what if not everybody gets along? So anyhow, if you feel like a whole person and at least a few of the different people connect meaningfully at the party — then that would be your dream.

If your friends who always seem to be in some kind of low-stakes squabble over something someone said in a group chat hang out with each other and have a nice time and remember why you are all friends to begin with

If you invent and maintain at least one (1) sucessful bit with your significant other

If you share intense, meaningful eye contact with the love of your life

Finally, how will your party end?(Required)

In chaos

Very late and very drunk

You in your party clothes, finally eating that slice of cake you saved for yourself. And it's delicious!

With you back home in your bedroom alone with your crush

Everyone out, everything clean, and you home in bed with your partner

Your best friends helping you clean before heading out for the night

Falling asleep while your phone lights up with pics and convos and new inside jokes from the party

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Δ

How to DIY an “A League of Their Own” Halloween Costume

Let me preface this DIY League of Their Own Halloween guide by saying: I am not a DIY expert in the traditional sense! I don’t know how to sew. I don’t have a lot of artistic abilities. And while I enjoy crafts, I wouldn’t really consider myself crafty. That said, as aforementioned, I am incredibly resourceful when it comes to costuming — especially on a budget! I’m good at cobbling together costumes with a mix of store-bought and handmade items that don’t require too many technical skills. Some of my most iconic Halloween costumes — including a DIY Silk Spectre costume in 2011 — have been made entirely from thrifted components. I’m here today to tell you how to make an A League of Their Own Rockford Peaches costume that’s going to have a DIY, scrappy approach but ultimately still have you looking fine and recognizably like the Peach you are. You won’t be building something from scratch, but you’ll be fashioning together a costume that’s distinctly yours.

There are of course some shortcuts you could take. Spirit Halloween has an official licensed Rockford Peaches costume for $50, but it appears more inspired by the film than by the new series. It also is only offered in sizes S-XL. (Am*zon’s also got some.) Spirit can sometimes work in a pinch for pop culture costumes, but if you have the time to plan a little more, I think you could end up with something more comfortable and more customizable. Starting at $55, Etsy has options that are customizable and come in more sizes.

For around the same price, Etsy also has these dresses that look kind of like the uniforms but have more an actual dress look than a uniform look, but I suppose it could also be a workaround. And if you can sew, there are also patterns available for the dresses.

Another shortcut you could take is to skirt around the uniform approach and instead dress like a specific character from the show. I made a series of style guides for Greta, Carson, Max, Jo, Jess, and Lupe that are geared more toward channeling their looks in an everyday, practical sense rather than to costuming, but you could look at them for inspiration! A Greta/Carson couples costume could be very cute! Or a Max/Clance joint costume with your best friend could also be cute!

But if you have your heart set on a Rockford Peaches uniform, let’s get down to business. I’ll break down the essential components you’re going to need and link some purchasable options, but I also encourage you to use this as an inspirational guide rather than a super strict how-to. Go forth and thrift some of the pieces or add your own touches.

Also, as we all know, A League of Their Own was devastatingly canceled this year before we could even get the short season two we were initially promised. While I am indeed still mourning this fact, I think it could be a fun nod to the cancellation (and perhaps cathartic!) to dress as undead versions of ALOTO characters. Just incorporate some fake blood and/or zombie-style makeup into your look.

This post was originally written in 2022 and was most recently updated on October 6, 2023.

1. Skirt (or pants!!!!!!)

Yes, to be completely authentic, you actually need a dress. But short of those limited (and perhaps not very good quality!) shortcut options above, “baseball dress uniform” is not something you can find easily online or in a store. So, instead, I recommend going with a skirt + shirt combo as a workaround. The main Rockford Peaches uniform is a pale pink, though tbh I think you could get away with a cream or even white colorway. This Forever 21 skirt ($36) could work though it’s more of a mauve color, and once again Amazon does have some options, but I understand if you don’t want to purchase from there. Here’s the key if you want to hunt around online for a brand/sizing/price point that best suits you: If you want a shorter skirt (think: Slutty Rockford Peaches, which tbh is a vibe), then search for “tennis skirt” or “pleated mini skirt” and then filter for color (the tough thing here is the color! it’s like a VERY pale pink!). If you want a slightly more authentic skirt, search for “skater skirt” and add “knee length” to get more specific. This is also an opportunity to be resourceful at a Spirit Halloween or similar costume shop. A lot of those chain costume shops sell costume separates in addition to full sets, and it’s possible you could find a pale pink or cream skirt meant to be part of a cheerleader costume or something similar and repurpose it. I somehow have more than one cheerleading skirt from Spirit.

Also, here’s something to keep in mind: You don’t have to wear a skirt! Just because the Peaches were forced to wear skirts does not mean you have to be. Want to add some butch touches to a Peaches costume? Buy some track pants or joggers in cream or pale pink! I’m sure you’ll get lots of wear out of them beyond the holiday. And for what it’s worth, I actually found a lot more pants options in the correct shade of pink than I did skirts, so this might be the move in general! Also, if you live somewhere cold, this’ll be more comfy.

2. Shirt + Patch

If you’re going the skirt route, then you’re gonna need a shirt. Yes, you could shell out for a real baseball jersey, but it’s going to be 1. expensive and 2. not even all that accurate looking, because the dress uniforms worn by the Peaches button-close off-center, and most baseball jerseys button down the center. This is the part where I plug one of my favorite chain stores on the planet: Michael’s craft store. I know I said I’m not crafty, but I do have a Michael’s rewards program membership. Here’s my cheater uniform recommendation: Get a t-shirt from Michael’s that best matches the color of your skirt. Get a Rockford Peaches patch ($14+) and attach it with fabric glue. VOILA. If you want to add an extra layer of cuteness/baseball-ness, you could throw an unbuttoned baseball jersey over the shirt and even customize it if you want to. You could even get wild with it. For example, you could get a baseball jersey that says ROCKFORD DYKES rather than Rockford Peaches on it. Just an idea!!!!!!

3. Belt

You don’t even need a skirt with belt loops to rock the signature belted Peach look. Don’t overthink things, baby! This is definitely an item you could pick up at a thrift store. Or you could buy this reddish brown one from the Gap for $26 (and hey, the best thing about buying real clothes/accessories for a costume rather than costume pieces is that you can probably get a decent amount of wear out of them beyond Halloween!).

4. Athletic Socks

I am extremely biased, but I think you should go off-book here and wear the Autostraddle Gay Chaos socks. But if you want something more authentic, go with a knee-high sock in a shade of red similar to whatever belt you end up with. Fun fact: Most of the athletic socks — other than the Autostraddle Gay Chaos socks — I own were indeed purchased from Spirit Halloween. I’m realizing now just how often I shop at Spirit Halloween????? But also I feel like I’ve never purchased one of their complete sets before. It’s so much more fun to customize/cobble!

5. Hat

Here’s the thing: I saved the hat for last even though it is the most important component. I think you can really have a lot of fun with the rest of the costume and go off-book in little, personalized ways. So long as you wear the hat. Maybe you can’t find the exact right length skirt in the exact right color. But if you’ve got the hat, people are going to know what you’re doing. Or, at least, the people who matter will. Lucky for you, there are like SO MANY Rockford Peaches hats on Etsy. An Autostraddle reader, in fact, has a store full of ALOTO goodies, including hats. For $30, you can snag one and you can pay a $3 upcharge to have a player’s name printed on the back. The shop also has t-shirt jerseys for Carson and Greta, which you could easily pair with a pink skirt to create the uniform without the hassle of needing to do iron-on letters or adding a patch.

I also love this vintage one ($30) from another shop. But you could also just buy the patch and take that fabric glue back out and affix it to a plain red ball cap from — you guessed it! — Michael’s craft store.

As for the finishing details, I again encourage you to not overthink things. Wear a pair of sneakers you already own. Borrow a baseball bat from your jock friend or buy a cheap child-size one. Wear a red lipstick to match the red accents of the uniform — or don’t! Again, if you’ve got a couple of the specific touches like the hat and the logo patch, you’re going to recognizably be a Peach. There’s no need to get too hung up on authenticity. I believe Halloween costumes should be identifiable but still showcase personality! Swing for the fences, and have a very League of Their Own Halloween.

12 Couples Halloween Costumes For Tall and Short Couples

You’re tall and they’re short, or she’s tall and you’re short, or you’re tall and she is in fact a totally normal and actually significantly above average height for a human woman although in comparison to you she is shorter but not in fact short. These are all situations that could be happening to you or me as you approach this Halloween in search of a Couples Halloween costume for a tall-short or otherwise differently-heighted couple.

Couples Halloween costumes present an incredible opportunity for two humans to size themselves up, consider their interests and passions, and then proceed to decide who they would like to pretend to be, together. Halloween costume season is an opportunity to truly shine as the short and tall people that we are and embrace the inches between you.

So, whether you’re dressing up with a significant other or a friend (friends are obviously also significant, but you know what I mean), here are some costumes that work regardless of height but are especially adorable Halloween costume choices for couples with big height differences.

This post was originally written in 2015 and was most recently updated on October 5th, 2023.

1. Peter Pan & Tinkerbell

Peter Pan is a popular choice for our people because Peter Pan has a special spot in queer hearts. I’ve often resorted to Peter Pan as a default Halloween costume when I’m pulling something together last minute, and famously paired a Tinkerbell dress with a white turtleneck and a bowl cut as a child, making me undoubtedly the spitting image of this noted fairy sprite.

You can get a Tinkerbell costume off the rack, or get creative: either make your own, or pair a green skater dress with wings and a wand. There are lots of Tinkerbell makeup tutorials online to top off the look. A Beautiful Mess has a great tutorial for a Peter Pan costume — there’s plenty of middling pre-made ones to buy, too, or just throw on some green tights, an oversized green t-shirt, tunic or dress; and a hat.

2. Roger Rabbit & Jessica Rabbit

This is a classic that gives you or your girlfriend an excuse to wear a red sequined bodycon dress and those opportunities are really few and far between. There is a whole-ass Roger and Jessica kit on Amazon for $31 if you wanna roll the dice on one-size fits all.

Your Roger Rabbit costume can be DIY-ed, or pieced together with a bow-tie, bunny ears, bunny shoes and red suspenders or overalls.

Jessica needs long purple gloves, that dress and that hair. There’s pre-made Jessica and Roger costumes too. Here’s a very in-depth look at Jessica Rabbit cosplay possibilities and here’s a hair and makeup tutorial. And of course, here’s an iconic couple who did Jessica Rabbit and Roger Rabbit.

3. Carol & Therese from “Carol” Lesbian Couples Costume

Cate Blanchett stands tall at 5’9″, while Rooney Mara stands not quite as tall at 5’3″. Between those six inches lies the story of Carol, It is a bit wild to consider that despite publishing a whopping 53 posts about Carol on this exact website, none of them are about a Carol & Therese costume. However, we did do one post guiding you towards the various sewing patterns that’ll enable you to sew your own, and here’s a post with photos of all of Carol and There’s actual costumes from the film. If you’ve got a faux fur coat or a plaid dress or a tiny Santa hat, this Halloween is your moment.

4. Calvin & Hobbes

I’ve done this one before and I’m confident that at some point in the future I will have a second opportunity to wear my tiger onesie.  For Calvin, you just need a Red striped t-shirt, black pants (you have some) and red tennis shoes. Hobbes requires simply a tiger onesie, which you probably have around the house. Who doesn’t, right?

5. Basketball Wives

First of all there are so many hot basketball players with wives to choose from and I’ve already made you a list of the tallest lesbians that surprisingly enough has a lot of WNBA players on it, which is a good place to start for inspo you are gonna need to find yourself an extremely tall WNBA player who is married to a civilian of reasonable height. My suggestions (with links to their jerseys) include: Brittney Griner (6’9″) and wife Cherelle Griner, Elena Delle Donne (6’5″) and her wife Amanda Clifton or Jonquel Jones (6’6″) and her fiancée Nesha (unfortunately you’ll have to be Jonquel in a Suns Jersey ’cause they’ve yet to print a Jones Liberty jersey).

I wasn’t sure about Breanna Stewart (6’4″), since, like Candace Parker and her wife Anna Petrakova and iconic Suns fiancees Alyssa Thomas and DeWanna Bonner, she is married to a fellow basketball player. But it turns out that Stewart’s wife, Marta Xargay, is a wee 5’11”, so I think it still works if you’re really set on that.

To be a basketball wife you just have to be hot, so that’s easy — but you certainly could simply wear fan gear for your spouse’s WNBA team.

6. Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog

The most iconic big femme / tiny masc couple costume of all time is of course always and forever Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog. There’s plenty of pre-made Kermit and Piggy costumes, but it’s also a fun one to piece together with real clothes. Miss Piggy can do a statement pink dress with a pig nose, ears and blonde wig. Kermit can simply wear all green and/or a tuxedo and a frog hat (as a bucket hat, as a wrap-around hat, or the actual Disney Kermit hat).

7. C-3PO & R2-D2

Both of these characters have lots of detailed pre-made costume options, but they’re pretty expensive for a one-off. You can pull something together for an R2D2 costume with a R2D2 skater dress and R2D2 socks and some silver leggings. Most tutorials are for children’s costumes and involve trash cans, but here’s a more casual one for grown-ups. For C-3PO, you can make do with a snapback, gold leggings and C3PO tee or gold tank.

8. Megan Thee Stallion & Cardi B

Cardi B is 5’3″ and Megan Thee Stallion is 5’9″ and they were recently caught scissoring in “Bongos” and previously made a splash in W.A.P.  This post details all the looks from the W.A.P. music video — the lingerie set, the catsuits, the corsets and cage bras and bodysuits — and this one describes several “straight-up Fire” W.A.P. costumes. The matching off-the-shoulder bodysuits with trains are a particularly iconic look.

The wildly-cut bright bikinis, giant fur and feathered hats and accessories of Bongos are detailed here — they’re all couture and custom pieces so doing it yourself will require a lot of improv. But start with color-coordinating a turquoise, hot pink, yellow or red cut-out swimsuit with bangles, audacious hats and those signature nails.

9. Will & Carlton from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

Will Smith towers over Alfonso Ribeiro, who played his cousin, Carlton, in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Both of these costumes could be easily put together with a trip to Goodwill or Value World or just rifling through your closet, especially if you lived through the ’90s and have the wardrobe to prove it. Carlton is easy: some boat shoes or brown shoes, a sweater-vest or a cable-knit sweater tied around your shoulders, button-up shirt and pleated khakis.

You can really have some fun with Will ’cause it was the ’90s and he wore some really special outfits. You could experiment with Zubaz pants, Nike Retro Air Jordans, Blocked Pocket Tees and Snapbacks.

10. Xena & Gabrielle from Xena The Warrior Princess

Don’t worry I didn’t forget about Xena and Gabrielle! This is a pair that has been cosplayed ten million times already by the lesbian community and there is no shortage of photos online of various Xena and Gabrielle get-ups. Once upon a time, there were plenty of Butterick sewing patterns for Xena costumes. Here’s a a thorough Xena DIY tutorial with video, and here’s an Instructables Xena costume, and there’s a very basic licensed version. Gabrielle went through multiple costumes throughout the show’s run, giving you a lot to choose from as you embark on an adventure to recreate it!

11. Carson & Greta from A League of Their Own

Abbi Jacobson is 5’5. D’arcy Carden is 5’10”. Basically this is the story of my life, and it’s also the best story ever told and then unfortunately cancelled on television. We’ve got a great explainer on how to DIY your own “League of Their Own” halloween costume. You might need a Greta wig to get the long, dark wavy hair, or a shoulder-length curly light brown wig for a post-chop Carson.

12. Marty McFly and Doc from Back to the Future

This is such a popular costume and cosplay activity that there are more photos online of people dressed up like Doc and Marty than there are of Doc and Marty themselves.

Michael J. Fox, legendary shortie, clocks in at 5’4 while Christopher Lloyd exceeds six feet. I still want to be Marty McFly when I grow up, tbh. Marty needs a red puffer vest, a denim jacket, a calculator watch, Calvins, the Marty McFly hat, throwback Nikes, the Grays Sports Almanac and jeans. You can also make your own hoverboard or get a cheaper version. Doc needs full-body white coveralls, mad scientist wig, goggles and a weird button-up shirt. Here’s how to make Doc Brown’s signature helmet.

What are your favorite height-disparity costumes?

How to DIY a “Yellowjackets” Halloween Costume

So you want to be a Yellowjackets character this Halloween, but you’re not sure where to start. I’m here to help! Even if you’re on a budget, if you take the time to do a DIY approach, you can pull off a great Yellowjackets costume that’ll be perfect for the gay Halloween gathering, going out, or just photos with your friends or partner.

My approach to making your own Halloween costumes is a little mix of lite DIY elements that don’t require too many skills and taking the time to search for pieces at thrift stores or on sale online. I also tend to prefer elements/clothing that can be used beyond the costume! Sometimes, it’s easier — and can be cheaper, in some cases — to just buy a ready-made costume. But they’re also often cheaply made and will only be worn maybe once or twice. Spirit Halloween works in a pinch, but there’s something I enjoy so much about the process of cobbling together my own costume and giving it some personal touches. So today, I’m going to tell you how to put together your own Yellowjackets Halloween costume.

Yes, you can buy the officially licensed Yellowjackets soccer uniform from Spirit for $45. It only comes in three sizes: small, medium, and large (and in my experience, Spirit costumes run small). But what’s the fun in that! The best Halloween costumes are the ones that require a little more creativity.

The official Yellowjackets varsity jacket, by the way, has been sold out ever since they did the initial limited drop. I’m lucky enough to have a friend that gifted me one for my birthday, so I can dress up as a Yellowjacket at the drop of a hat. You can sign up for notifications for when it’s released again, but that’s likely not going to happen before this Halloween, which is right around the corner.

So! There are a few routes you can go with a DIY Yellowjackets uniform. If you want to dress like a specific character, I made a fashion guide for adult and teen Taissa that could provide some inspiration. If you want to be Other Tai, just cover your face in dirt and maybe carry a fake heart around (RIP Biscuit!).

It’d be really easy to dress as adult Misty. All you need are: transparent frame fake glasses ($9), cat or owl print scrubs ($15, but you can get them for cheaper by shopping in person at CVS or Walgreens), and — if you don’t have her signature curls naturally — a wig (with some finessing, I think you could make a wig meant for a Bad Sandy Grease costume work).

Adult Nat would be easy, too. If you’ve got a bit of a goth/riot grrrl aesthetic, you might even already own some components for it in your closet, but if not: ripped black denim shorts (on sale for $30), a Pixies shirt ($27), and black Doc Martens ($170). Live somewhere chilly? Throw some ripped black tights underneath.

You could also channel Van in a co-ed naked soccer shirt ($24) and cargo shorts, but I regret to inform you that my fiancee already epitomized this look soooo good luck trying to beat her:

yellowjackets buzz buzz pic.twitter.com/UBHocGYRFC

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) May 30, 2022

This season, we got to meet Adult Lottie, and she would make a GREAT costume. A Morticia Adams wig ($25) can be reworked here. And then all you need is a flowy dark yellow kaftan ($28) and an air of mommi mystery.

If you want to be Adult Shauna, I think you should carry around Bruce the goat ($16)

But if you’re willing to go the extra mile for a Yellowjackets Halloween costume — or even better, execute a group costume with your pals — there are two routes you can go: Antler Queen/a cannibal group costume or a Yellowjackets soccer team group costume. I’ll break down options for both.

Antler Queen/Cannibal Yellowjackets Halloween Costume

After a failed attempt at making my own antler crown for my birthday last year, I went with Etsy. There are some very realistic — and therefore expensive — options like this $125 antler crown. I went with something less realistic but both cheaper and also less obtrusive. I didn’t want to be knocking into people or things with giant antlers, so this $33 crown was for me. At $89, I found a glam one that falls in the middle of that price range.

To channel season one’s Doomcoming, pair the antler crown with a floral dress. If you want something as close as possible to the style Lottie actually wears when we first see her place antlers atop her head (which, if you remember correctly, was actually Laura Lee’s dress!), look for a white dress with pink flowers that buttons up. The goal is a Laura Ashley-style dress without paying Laura Ashley prices.

The “Doomcoming” episode of Yellowjackets lends itself SUPER well to a group costume! Gather your fellow cannibal queers and shop together for your bacchanal looks! Fall/winter is not the easiest time to find floral printed dresses, but you could hit up some thrift shops or sales sections to find clothing from last spring/summer. Online, you might be able to find some options, too. Or, if you are able to find something cheap enough that you don’t care about destroying it or already own a dress you were planning on getting rid of anyway, then you can really lean in a add rips and dirt stains (with costume makeup or makeup you already own) to make it look like you’ve been running and howling through the woods. Make your own flower crowns as a group activity or buy them premade from Etsy ($19+).

In season two, the fantasy sequence portraying the Yellowjackets having a Greek feast as they’re quite literally eating Jackie would also lend itself well to a group costume. Just get yourself a Greek goddess costume ($41) or make one from bedding. Add a gold leaf crown ($38) and get a prop gold goblet ($5) and FILL IT WITH BLOOD.

On that note, no matter what path you take here, fake blood is really going to take the costume to the next cannibal level. I somehow always own at least a few tubes of fake blood at all times. You never know when you might need to whip up a last minute costume, and fake blood comes in handy for that. Slather some on your faces to make it look like your crew has just finished a tasty meal. Spirit Halloween has a lot of fake blood options, but I like the spray-on best ($8).

Soccer Yellowjackets Halloween Costume

Don’t want to go the Spirit Halloween route but still want to make your own Yellowjackets-esque soccer costume? Easy! Couple a customizable sports shirt with a team sticker. Or get a plain navy t-shirt from Michael’s add yellow iron-on numbers and letters spelling out Yellowjackets, your name, or a character’s name. Buying with a group? You can buy these navy shirts with yellow trim in bulk. Hit up the sales rack at Dick’s Sporting Goods for navy athletic shorts (or get these $14 mesh shorts from Target) and wear athletic socks and sneakers that you perhaps already own! Youth soccer balls — while maybe not regulation size — are cheaper and good enough for a costume. Or maybe you can borrow a soccer ball from the soccer gay in your life. Or maybe you ARE the soccer gay in your life and own a lot of these things already. Throw some yellow ribbons in your hair like some of the Yellowjackets did at the pep rally before their lives went sideways.

On that note, to spice up this group costume, you COULD still apply fake blood. Why not? Get creative. I’m delighted by the mere thought of a bunch of queers dressed like cannibalistic soccer players. Warms my heart.

Spirit Halloween Animatronics, Ranked By Lesbianism

The best month of the year begins this weekend, but as a devotee of horror season, my partner and I have already got a head start on our annual October marathon of scary movies. We’re saving some of the classics, but over the past week or so we’ve revisited nostalgic films like The Craft and more thriller-leaning fare like What Lies Beneath. I also received screeners for the upcoming new Netflix series The Fall of the House of Usher, and I cannot wait to write more about it once it’s out.

We’re not the only ones ahead of the spooky season game though. Nearly a month ago, the fledgling Tuesday Morning next to our go-to Publix became haunted by everyone favorite seasonal chain store that loves to possess abandoned buildings this time of year: Spirit Halloween. I like to get my Spirit Halloween trips in early, as they seemingly run out of anything actually interesting/good in the first week of October. I also love to make an annual journey to the store just to check out the latest animatronics — Halloween decor with a price tag I could never justify and yet love to marvel at. I simple love those little fuckers that jump out at you when you walk by or say generically scary things about how they’re going to haunt me from their graves.

Also, yes, these are all available for purchase online!

16. Martian Warrior

Points for the honestly quite fire fit, but as far as gay aliens go, I’ve seen gayer.

15. Scary Sitting Scarecrow

It’s giving Butch Who Wears the Same Costume Every Year.

14. Bog Zombie

Bog Witches are more queer coded than Bog Zombies, but I’ll allow.

13. Jumping Spider

Giant arachnids do have a certain je ne sais queer about them. Also, for the record, this one legitimately scared me when it jumped out.

12. Poor George

I can imagine a lesbian named George wearing this exact striped shirt.

11. Dagger Mike

Dagger Mike absolutely sounds like a dyke’s nickname.

10. Stilts

Bowling pins are her go-to juggling device, and imo bowling is gay.

9. Grave Watcher

From the official description of this animatronic: “The Grave Watcher is eternal. Keeping a tormented vigil over the dead is their punishment for past sins against the underworld that even the devil himself can’t speak of.” Okay, slay.

I can’t believe this undead creature has a JOB? Does she have to do TAXES? Do the undead have a UNION?

8. Darling Dolly

There’s a fingering joke in here somewhere.

7. Slim Animatronic – Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Here is where my personal biases are showing a bit, but this BIG ASS CLOWN gets points specifically because my partner Kristen just sold a novel called CLOWN. I asked her if she could therefore pose with this animatronic, who is part of the “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” collection, based on the 1988 film, which I have not seen. The shoes look like clown-ified Doc Martens. What’s in the bag? According to the official description: popcorn. But I choose to believe it’s their sex toy bag.

6. Howling Spirit

“I yearned for her howling spirit” sounds like how an erotic werewolf fiction author might describe a Sapphic lupine sex scene.

5. Sinister Spirit

“She had a sinister spirit” sounds like how an author would euphemistically describe a lesbian in the 17th century.

4. Regan from The Exorcist

It is not difficult to do a queer reading of The Exorcist, as evidenced by the very first essay in the queer horror anthology It Came From the Closet. If you haven’t read the full book yet, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

3. The Black Heart

Okay, I am VERY DISAPPOINTED that this animatronic wasn’t functioning when I went to my Spirit, because apparently it opens its cloak to reveal a WOMAN TRAPPED INSIDE named Ava who, according to the official lore, died a “spinster” at…age 25. The Black Heart is her UNDEAD PARTNER. And one of the few phrases The Black Heart utters when the motion detector is triggered is: “Soon, you will forget everything… your life, your past, you will stay with me for the rest of eternity!” TOXIC EX MUCH??????

Honestly, it’s worth reading the full product description for this one:

Ava should’ve been married. In her old-fashioned village, she was already considered a spinster by the age of 25. Her friends had all found love, and she ached to be next. As the sun set on another lonely evening, Ava succumbed to her last resort. According to local lure [sic], if she climbed into a freshly dug grave in the town cemetery at exactly midnight, her true love would show up at sunrise and revive her with a kiss. When Ava awoke the following morning with her lips pressed against a cold dead kiss of her undead master, she learned the true meaning of being careful about what you wish for.

Love is what brought Ava to her downfall and now her partner The Black Heart is ready to seduce any unsuspecting guests to be his next victim…

2. Rat Girl

My Spirit Halloween didn’t have a Rat Girl on display, which is a shame, because she’s clearly a lesbian legend.

1. Empty Soul Girl on a Swing

Lesbian Icon!!!!! While not technically an animatronic but rather a large stationary prop, she is undoubtedly number one. Look at her!!! She looks like she has accidentally stumbled upon her worst ex proposing to a new woman via a flash mob. HAUNTING.

Honorable Mentions

Here are some honorable mentions for smaller props/accessories I came across that still felt dykey.

Michael Myers Mini Backpack

I can’t find the link for this online so it might only be available in-stores, but I feel like it should be every Horror Dyke’s go-to bag this season.

Michael Myers Art

It’s a literal slay. I’m realizing in the process of making this list that Michael Myers feels lesbian coded to me. Is it the jumpsuit uniform? The refusal to Give Up? The butch hairstyle that never changes? Should I rank iconic horror villains by lesbianism?

Scissor??? Necklace???

This looks like it could literally be Autostraddle merch?????

10 Gay Things to Do to Warm-Up For Halloween

Yesterday, August 29th, it happened: The Spirit Halloween opened up in my neighborhood in an old Rite Aid. (Have you ever noticed that Spirit Halloweens always set up shop in the spookiest abandoned establishments? I bet there’s Spirit Halloweens in actual haunted houses somewhere in Massachusetts.) Now, some of us aren’t as young as we used to be, which means some of us need to stretch before we do basically anything, including standing up off the floor. Below I have provided you with a helpful list of things you can do to warm-up for Halloween so you don’t pull a muscle celebrating the holiday of our people.

1. Begin researching your gay costume

Autostraddle Managing Editor Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya recently wondered: If you don’t have your Halloween costume chosen by the end of August, are you even gay? It’s a good question because there’s so many factors to consider! Couples costume or solo costume? Buy it or DIY it? Something classically queer or current pop culturally relevant? To help get your mind percolating, look for inspiration in Kayla’s DIY costumes for Yellowjackets and A League of Their Own (RIP).

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/how-to-diy-a-yellowjackets-halloween-costume/

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/league-of-their-own-halloween-costume-ideas/

2. Begin purchasing costumes (plural) for your pets

When it comes to humans, you only get one or two chances to wear a Halloween costume per year — but your pet can model dozens of different costumes on your various socials or just out on neighborhood walks. One of my cats, Beth March, has a Halloween sweater that is her absolute favorite out of all her clothes (she loves clothes) and she starts wearing it as soon as there’s a nip in the air. Get started with Dacry’s and Riese’s lists of gay Halloween costumes for your dog!

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/10-gay-halloween-costumes-for-your-dog/

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/10-halloween-couples-costumes-for-you-and-my-dog-436697/

3. Refamiliarize yourself with the Fright Dyke curriculum

Kayla’s Halloween altar ego is Fright Dyke, and with good reason! Last year, she ran a whole series called Horror Is So Gay. If you missed it, now’s your chance to get the scoop on queer spooks! If you already read it, I bet you one full-size Snickers bar that you’ll find something to love all over again when you revisit it.

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/horror-is-so-gay/

4. Buy your decorations so you don’t have to get into a fist fight at Target

Even the nicest people I know seem to turn into actual monsters when they’re shopping for Halloween decorations. Probably all the vampire pheromones hanging around in that section of the store. So, shop early this year and save yourself from ending up on TikTok screaming at some woman named Ethel who took the last four paper-mache jack-o-lanterns. Also, some costumes will need accessories from a variety of departments, so the sooner you can start shopping, the better!

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/halloween-costumes-that-double-as-hot-role-play-costumes/

5. Send out a Doodle for your party

You are absolutely not the only gay having a Halloween party, so go ahead and get yours on the calendar so your friends can plan around it. And while you’re at it, start planning your menu and your playlists so your party isn’t just first, but also: best!

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/the-hunt-for-the-perfect-baked-pumpkin-treat/

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/let-me-dj-your-gay-halloween-party/

6. Make your scary movie/TV marathon list

Lucky for you, we have SO MANY scary movie/TV lists already curated for you!

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/25-of-the-silliest-spookiest-plotlines-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-ranked-by-absurdity/

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/10-twisted-gory-horror-films-to-watch-with-your-mean-femme-date/

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/10-low-key-horror-movies-to-watch-with-your-sensitive-butch-date/

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/rating-villains-monsters-and-cryptids-on-a-scale-of-sexiness/

7. Dust off your Ouija board

I’ve never used a Ouija board, but based on TV and movies I know that they are always found in dusty, cobwebbed attics and crawl-spaces. They’re never stored in a nice box in a closet. So it’s probably best if you go ahead and start digging around for the one that’s inevitably hidden in your house, so you can get it cleaned up in time for The Big Day. If you don’t have a Ouija board, that’s okay — there’s an app for that.

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/i-used-an-app-to-communicate-with-the-ghost-in-my-house/

8. Adopt a black cat

Black cats are always in need of adoption because, to this day, people consider them unlucky, when actually, they’re the absolute best. Some shelters also don’t adopt out black cats near Halloween because people are terrible. So go ahead and make your life about a billion times better by adopting a black cat today! I’ve got two and they are my perfect baby angel sweetie cinnamon roll darlings. You can also start thinking about the coming cold weather and how you can help the feral cats in your neighborhood!

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/save-a-feral-cats-life-with-a-15-diy-winter-shelter-356360/

9. Prepare your “well, actually” Halloween facts

For example, did you know our current idea about what witches look like is informed by the ale wives the church tried to destroy before the Witch Trials even started? It’s true! There’s so many feminist facts about Halloween lore and there’s nothing quite like haunting a man for the rest of his life by “well, actually-ing” him in front of his friends while he’s dressed up like Tom Cruise in Top Gun.

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/ale-wives-the-women-who-created-beer-and-split-hell-wide-open-427858/

10. Test the best candy

How else are you going to know if it’s the best? You don’t want to end up giving out Reese’s with the wrong peanut butter-to-chocolate ratio like the goddam Easter Bunny, do you?

https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/i-will-always-steal-these-10-candies-from-my-kids-trick-or-treat-bucket/

Janelle Monáe Gave Megan Thee Stallion a ‘Lil Kiss, Plus Other Hot Queers in Costumes

I’m just going to say it, and hope that I don’t sound ridiculous, but I don’t really know who Janelle Monáe is for Halloween. I know that it’s Diva Plavalaguna, and that this person (alien?) is from The Fifth Element. And I know that The Fifth Element is beloved by many queerdos across the internets, and I am legitimately so happy for all of y’all. I am sure that if you are in the know this costume is epic. I’m sure of it because Janelle Monáe + Halloween almost always is, remember when they were The Grinch? Or her own Dr. Jekyll to her own My. Hyde? Really this is a story about a party that they went to with Megan thee Stallion over the weekend that involved at least one on-camera (cheek) kiss, according to Meg’s IG stories.

Still, let’s start with Janelle Monáe’s patently gorgeous costume as Diva Plavalaguna that makes no sense to me — completely my fault, I’m failing you as a narrator. Here you go:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CkUhpIurNWg/

It also involves some kind of singing situation?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CkW2XpRDZRc/

Ok, so! That out of the way, I think Megan thee Stallion’s Halloween costume las weekend was “I’m hot” + “a little fake blood.” And I am not judging, if I was as hot as Meg, that would be my costume, too. Plus, it’s well-documented that Meg loves Halloween. So much so that she hosted a Halloween party this weekend dubbed “Hottieween” (I love her). And that officially brings us to our little story. At Hottieween this weekend, full of many celebs and the influencers who love them, a seemingly drunk fun time was had by all. Many an ass was thrown. Many a tongue stuck out in glee. And I was a half asleep scrolling through my Instagram stories, for I am neither a celebrity nor an influencer so my ass was thrown at home in my pajamas, my tongue was only stuck out while I brushed my teeth, I could not help but stop and replay… because.. did I see?? Was it??

Why yes, it was Janelle Monáe, as Diva Plavalaguna, serenading Megan thee Stallion at her own party. And then it was Janelle Monáe, as Diva Plavalaguna, sealing it with a kiss. Two Black queer icons, in a little casual (cheek) kiss, because why the fuck not? It’s Halloween!

Of course, like all things Halloween, the pumpkin disappeared as the clock on the IG stories ran out. But I was able to find a copy. The internet never forgets.

.@JanelleMonae sings as Diva Plavalaguna from ‘The Fifth Element’ at Megan @TheeStallion’s #Hottieween party. pic.twitter.com/FSV1t6B9qk

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) October 30, 2022

And yes, I took a screenshot, so you don’t have to:

My favorite part is Meg — of “it’s giving top, you know that” fame — almost blushes? It’s so cute??

I hope when the party was over, they also engaged in the gay friendship tradition of drunk eating waffles (is this just my friends?) while sitting in each other’s laps and playing six-degrees-of-separation on each other’s hookups (Janelle’s gonna win, she’s got Tessa Thompson and potentially Lupita Nyong’o. Remember what I said? The internet never forgets). And now, here’s some other cute queers in costumes!

A Brief Round Up of Some Other Hot Queer Celebrities in Costumes, Trick-or-Treat

Because Gay Christmas is forever.

Javicia Leslie, as Storm

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Javicia Leslie 🌙 (@javicia)

I wanted to say more about this, but I blacked out.

Kristen Stewart and Dylan Meyer, as Wayne and Garth

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dylan Meyer (@spillzdylz)

Excellentttttttt.

Lili Reinhart, as Sarah Sanderson

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart)

This is such a casual win.

Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts, as Rihanna and ASAP Rocky from the 2021 Met Ball

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Niecy Nash (@niecynash1)

Is this just an excuse for me to post about when they went as Nelly and Kelly Rowland from the 2002 “Dilemma” video? Yes, yes it is.

Chrishell Stause and G Flip, as Each Other

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Chrishell (@chrishell.stause)

It’s maybe almost too gay? We covered it for you.

Keke Palmer, as Rogue

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by BIG BOSS 🔑🔑 (@keke)

So Keke looks great, never a question. I’m just not sure if I love this new trend where Halloween is basically audition reels for celebrities? That said, they don’t call her “keep a bag” Palmer for nothin.

Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley, as Velma and Daphne

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Becca Tilley (@beccatilley)

Lesbian Velma forever, I know that’s right.

This is a starter list, something for your Monday afternoons because Autostraddle loves you. We’ll be back soon with our weekly celesbian Instagram round up No Filter and your host Christina Tucker will guide you through the exhaustive highlights with even more jokes, because what are we if not humans passing time on this earth?

And on that note, Happy Halloween! Kiss the girls you want to kiss, just make sure to get their permission first! XO

Chrishell Stause and G Flip Dressed Up As EACH OTHER for Halloween, Gayest Shit Imaginable

It was only about five months ago that I wrote to you to share the incredible news that Chrishell Stause, the darling of Netflix’s Selling Sunset, was dating nonbinary Australian musician G Flip. In case all of this sounds like jibberish, all you need to know is that Chrishell stars in one of Netflix’s hottest reality TV shows, Selling Sunset, in which the definition of “excess” is expanded to truly unimaginable heights! And G Flip is an Australian singer and drummer, most renowned for their song “GAY 4 U”. The two met earlier this year when Chrishell appeared in G Flip’s music video “GET ME OUTTA HERE” — and have been an item pretty much ever since!

Now, a mere 183 days later, I write to you with more news.

No, they didn’t break up. No, they didn’t get engaged. It’s much bigger than either of those things.

THEY DRESSED UP AS EACH OTHER FOR HALLOWEEN!!!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Chrishell (@chrishell.stause)

When I first was alerted to the existence of these pictures, I gasped! Because first and foremost, they both look so good!?? And second and second most, the degree of accuracy in these costumes — down to the make-up and accessories — is truly impressive. I mean G Flip ringing the Selling Sunset bell with an ear-to-ear grin is literally Chrishell to a t.

But ngl, there is something kind of like, amazingly joyful and kind of subversive about all this. When Chrishell started dating G Flip, she showed the world — including, I can only presume, many straight people that watch Selling Sunset — that anyone can be queer. We are among you! We are out there! We’re even in the most ludicrous, seemingly straight reality TV shows about extremely rich people with extremely huge closets!!

And now Chrishell and G Flip have partaken in the time honored tradition of doing the gayest thing imaginable — dressing as each other. What better way to embody genderfuckery than to dress up as your loved one, who presents so differently than you do, and for both of you to actually freaking ROCK THE LOOK??

From your unofficial official reporter always on the hunt for gay shit concealed conspicuously or inconspicuously within a reality TV show about houses that look like monochromatic cubes but cost several millions of dollars — Happy Halloween!

Fright Dyke Has a Message for the Final Gays

Hello, it’s me, Fright Dyke, your intrepid, insidious horror host here to tell you a very scary tale. Are you sitting down? Are you comfortable? Are the lights on? I don’t mean to frighten you. Or, I guess, actually I do. It’s in my name, after all.

Are you scared of the dark? We are, too. And it’s getting harder and harder to keep the lights on here at Autostraddle, because we live in a world inhospitable to indie queer, trans, and feminist media. There’s a masked monster on the loose, and it’s like Michael Myers, always coming for us, difficult to eradicate entirely. Every time it looks like we’ve beat it, it comes back in the sequel.

But it isn’t just one monster, not really. There are so many obstacles to keeping Autostraddle alive and majority free for our readers. The ongoing pandemic. The rise of homophobia and transphobia, especially on the legislative level. Monsters taking off their masks, anyone taking off their masks. Confusing internet algorithms that reward robotic, SEO-grabby, zombified content over deep, thoughtful work on LGBTQ pop culture, literature, news, and more. More and more layoffs and closures across the online media and news industry. All these challenges work together to drain us of our blood. There are fewer and fewer places where queer and trans writers can get their first bylines and actually be edited by an all-queer team.

Like some of the best but also silliest horror movies, I’m going to mix a lot of metaphors here. You’ve been warned.

We’ve got the tenacity and fire of a Final Girl, but we aren’t one, not really. Final Girls operate alone. Sure, Sidney had Gale and she had Dewey. But in the end, it was always just her, squaring off against the killer. Laurie Strode always ends up alone, too. The weight of the fight entirely on her shoulders.

Not us though. We may be the Final Girl in energy and spirit, but we are not foolish enough to fight our battles alone. We have you, scrumptious reader. Autostraddle remains here for all because of those who can subsidize the magazine for those who might not be able to afford financial support. We can’t defeat the monsters without you. You, too, are our slayers, our ghosthunters, our demonologists, our Final Gays.

Go to Our Fundraiser!

And the fight’s never over, I’m afraid. No really, I’m afraid. I’m terrified of what a world without Autostraddle looks like. And that’s coming from me, Fright Dyke, who isn’t scared of much at all. This scares me, but it helps to know we’re not in it alone.

*EXTREMELY 1980s MOVIE TRAILER VOICE* Imagine a world…where Autostraddle doesn’t exist. No, scratch that. Imagine a world where indie queer media is thriving, where our work is valued and celebrated by the mainstream and not always on the precipice of falling off a cliff. Can you picture it? I can.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe we’re the Michael Myers, the thing that refuses to die no matter what people throw at us. Maybe we’re the demons, the monsters, and freaks. Doesn’t that sound nice? All I know is, I don’t want us to be ghosts — ever. I want us to live.

We’re running a fundraiser right now, and don’t worry, that shouldn’t scare you in and of itself. They’re part of our business model, after all. But if you want to help us survive this horror movie, this is how. By giving to the fundraiser or by making a consistent contribution to the fight by becoming an A+ member. As an A+ member, you’ll unlock all sorts of spooOooOOoooKy gay content, like the Things I’ve Never Asked series and Interview With My Significant Other. Or, you can reach out a hand to someone else by donating to the A+ Membership Pool, which lets other people sign up for free.

Perhaps you’ve heard of a little thing called Horror Is So Gay, the very scary package I introduced earlier this month in all my Fright Dyke flourish. Horror Is So Gay absolutely, positively, empirically and vampirically could not have happened without reader support. When our blood is drained, you can step in and be our life force.

Let’s keep being monsters together.

SO HOW CAN YOU HELP REPLENISH OUR BLOOD?

Be a monster with us! (And get perks!)

Help us out!

You can join A+! And if you’re already an A+ member, you can get discounted perks!

Join A+!

You can contribute to the member pool! (Or avail yourself of the pool if it will make your life better and you qualify for it!)

Check out the member pool!

I Will Always Steal These 10 Candies From My Kid’s Trick or Treat Bucket

Feature image photo by Crystal Sing / EyeEm via Getty Images

One of the best things about being a parent is Halloween. More specifically, Trick or Treating. My kiddo is at an age where I can’t pick out his costume anymore, but he’s still really into getting candy. He’s finally got to a point where he’s not too shy to actually go up to a house and ask for it. We usually Trick or Treat for about an hour, and let me tell you, by the end, he has quite a haul. Because he doesn’t like a lot of candy, I get to reap the rewards of his hard work.

Being a self-proclaimed candy connoisseur, there are certain candies I’m more interested in than others. I’ve been known to tell my son to try and grab certain candies because they’re my favorite, and I want to make sure I get one. Yes, I know I can just buy them, but damn it, I’ve schlepped this kid around for an hour, the least I should get is some free candy. In the interest of posterity, I’m making an official ranking of my favorite candy to steal from my kid’s Trick or Treat bag in no particular order.

Snickers

For me, there are few better candy bars than a Snickers, especially when it’s fun-size. It’s the most perfect bite of chocolate, caramel, nougat and peanuts. Okay so full confession: When I’m eating a Snickers, I like to take a bite, suck off the chocolate and then eat the rest. It’s a lot easier to do with a fun-size bar, or those little Snickers cubes. I rarely have Snickers anymore, so I’m really excited to get a couple in the ol’ Trick or Treat bucket.

Twizzlers

I have yet to meet a Twizzler I didn’t like. (Actually, I don’t care for those filled ones.) But those little fun-size ones are really perfect. Sometimes, I don’t want a whole long Twizzler, and these little nugget sized ones are great for a quick hit. They taste a little rubbery sometimes, but that’s just the nature of eating Twizzlers honestly. When you’re Trick or Treating, beware of the stale nugget Twizzlers. They’re tough to chew, but they’re still worth it.

Reese’s Pieces

Reese’s Pieces are better than plain M&Ms. You can fight me, but don’t bother because I will win. They’re peanut butter in a candy coated shell! They don’t really melt! It’s great! My kiddo doesn’t like peanut butter, so anything with peanut butter is automatically mine, but even if he did, I would sneak at least one little bag of these because they’re so good. Like crunchy peanut butter, but even better, because the crunch is candy and not peanuts. Gimme all the bags.

Tootsie Rolls

I love chocolate, and I love chewy candy. Chocolate chewy candy? Sign. Me. Up. Ever since I was a kid myself, I loved a Tootsie Roll. You pop them in your mouth and chew, and unlike gum, you can swallow them and they don’t lose their flavor. And what’s even better is that they come in two different sizes. No matter the size, they’re so yummy. I will also accept a Tootsie Pop (my kiddo likes those, so we have to share and I only like certain flavors) — but do NOT give me those weird fruit-flavored ones.

Twix

Another confession: One year, I bought a bag of fun-size Twix in a post-Halloween sale because there were none in my kiddo’s Trick or Treat bag. One of the main reasons I always steal them is because they’re the perfect size. I actually think a regular size Twix is too much. More fun-size Twix, please!

Peanut M&Ms

My kid loves regular M&Ms, so I can never get my hands on those (he will occasionally give me a couple, but that’s it). However, since he doesn’t like peanuts, if these find their way into his bucket, they’re all mine. Peanut M&Ms are the second best kind of M&Ms (peanut butter always) but they’re the easiest to come by, and that’s why I love them. They’re crunchy and have that salty/sweet combo that is just so perfect. There’s something more hearty about them, too.

Smarties

I feel like these are my ultimate nostalgia candies. When I was a kid, we got these after dance class, and my friend and I would eat them in the backseat of her mom’s station wagon. We called them our medicine because they are weirdly pill-like. They have that chalkiness and ambiguous flavor. Like, they don’t really taste like anything but sweet, and even then, they’re not overly sweet. But I still love them so much.

Dots

These are weird candies. Again, they’re one of those ones that I love because of my mom. They’re kind of like gum drops, but more chewy and not covered in sugar. They have individual flavors and, for the most part, they actually taste like what they’re supposed to. They’re less common, but I know some of those bargain candy bags have them, and I will happily accept them.

Mr. Goodbar

Mr. Goodbar is the MVP of the Hershey’s miniature bag. If you haven’t already figured it out, I love the combination of peanuts and chocolate. I absolutely love Hershey’s chocolate bars, and Mr. Goodbar is such a good vehicle for the chocolate/peanut combo. It’s so fucking good. I buy the XL ones when I see them at the grocery store, but whenever these come up in a Trick or Treat bucket? I will eat them ALL.

Nestle’s Crunch

It’s hard to find Nestle’s Crunch bars in the wild nowadays, but you can always count on seeing them in a Halloween candy mix. These have always been in my top five candy bars. Like with Snickers, I like to suck all the chocolate off and then eat the puffed rice. I know, I’m a weirdo. I also like them slightly melted, so I’ve been known to warm them under my thigh.

What’s your favorite Halloween candy?

Quiz: What Last Minute Halloween Costume Should You Throw Together?

Some people say that Halloween is gay Christmas, and I would agree! Every year, I say that I’m going to plan my Halloween costume early, but I’m always rushing to put something together. This year, my partner and I finally planned our costumes in advance. I’m going to be a witch with a long poofy dress, long black nails, a flowy cape, and a silver haired wig. She’s going to be my familiar and is dressing up as a crow, with a feather piece that goes around her neck and chest. Our pets are both going to be spooky spiders! If you’re still deciding what to wear for Halloween, please take this quiz to find out what your last minute DIY costume should be!

25 of the Silliest, Spookiest Plotlines From “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” Ranked by Absurdity

One dark and stormy night, like so many queer people before me, I eagerly introduced a friend to the world of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We watched episode after episode from Season 1 (at least, they watched. I watched them, with bated breath). Finally, they said, “huh! Are there going to be vampires in this vampire show?” And in that moment I realized that we had watched plotlines involving a giant praying mantis, body-switching cheerleaders, hyena possessions, demons on the internet…and the list went on! There had only been two episodes about actual vampires, and one of them was the pilot.

Decades before the bananas plotlines of teen shows like Pretty Little Liars and Riverdale would truly run wild, Buffy asked the question we didn’t know we needed: What if high school was actually hell? What if that substitute teacher all the boys have a crush on was a giant insect? What if the college guys were offering up ritual sacrifices in their pursuit of capitalist success? What if the first version of yourself who allowed themselves to acknowledge their gay desires was a vampire doppelgänger? What if that guy you met online wasn’t who he said he was? What if? What if?!

In seven years, Buffy gave us some truly wild episodes — and they could be truly spooky, too! And so, submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I hereby present 25 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s silliest, spookiest plotlines, ranked by absurdity.

25. Where the Wild Things Are, episode 4×18

Don’t you hate it when the bad energy from when the frat house used to be a group home convinces you it’s wrong to have lustful feelings for your girlfriend? Me too!

24. Dead Man’s Party, episode 3×02

Joyce brings home a mask from the gallery where she works — too bad it’s one of those pesky masks that resurrects the dead! I’m sure this will all go just as well as Buffy’s reentry into Sunnydale after spending the summer in LA is going.

23. Something Blue, episode 4×09

When one of Willow’s spells goes awry, Spike and Buffy, who are currently mortal enemies, think they’re in love! Will “Wind Beneath My Wings” really be their wedding song?

22. Some Assembly Required, episode 2×02

Life comes at you pretty fast! One day, you’re the high school quarterback, the next you’re a resurrected corpse who is begging your brother to build you a girlfriend from body parts.

21. Fear, Itself, episode 4×04

I’m telling you, frat houses are scary places! This time, Oz inadvertently summons a demon who feeds on fear while setting up the sound equipment for a party, like ya do.

20. Hush, episode 4×10

This might just be the spookiest episode ever. Come for the scary, scary Gentleman, stay for Giles’ transparencies!

19. Out of Mind, Out of Sight, episode 1×11

Clea Duvall guest stars as a high school girl turned invisible by her unpopularity, and is PISSED about it. The saddest thing about this episode is how rarely we actually get to see Clea Duvall!

18. Gingerbread, episode 3×11

Two local kids are ostensibly murdered, and pretty soon Joyce is making signs and badges for Mothers Opposed to the Occult. Nice acronym, Ms. Summers!

17. Doppelgangland, episode 3×16

This is an extremely important episode of television! Willow meets her vampire doppelgänger who is…really kinda gay!

16. Graduation Day, episode 3×21

Listen, sometimes you’ve gotta stab your enemies-to-almost-lovers crush, save the world from the demon Mayor AND survive high school, all in the same day.

15. Reptile Boy, episode 2×05

In which high school Buffy decides to go to a college party at a frat house that may or may not have some hooded robes in their basement. Buffy, I am telling you, it is time to STAY AWAY FROM FRAT HOUSES.

14. Beer Bad, episode 4×05

Reason not to drink in college #238: You might…go…neolithic?

13. Superstar, episode 4×17

I love this episode with all my heart. 10/10, no notes. Go watch it right now. I’ll wait!

12. Living Conditions, episode 4×02

Sometimes you get the college roommate “from hell,” and sometimes…well, say hello to Kathy, who irons her jeans and may or may not be a demon on a cultural exchange!

11. Band Candy, episode 3×06

This episode proves two things I’ve always believed with all my heart: That every grown-up needs to get to be a kid now and then, and that high school fundraisers where students have to sell stuff are EVIL.

10. Witch, episode 1×03

What do you do when your cheerleading glory days are over? Unless you’re Monica Aldama, the only rational choice is to switch bodies with your daughter!

9. I Robot, You Jane, episode 1×08

On this week’s episode of Catfish, there’s a demon on the internet!

8. Doublemeat Palace, episode 6×12

Buffy’s foray into gainful employment goes just about how we’d expect.

7. The Pack, episode 1×06

Oh no! One trip to the zoo, and Xander’s acting like…a sixteen year-old boy!

6. Bad Eggs, episode 2×12

There’s something going on with the eggs the Health teacher has assigned to teach parental responsibility! High school sex ed is exactly this scary.

5. Go Fish, episode 2×20

There’s so much to unpack here. Sunnydale High has a pool? Sunnydale students party at a lake that’s never seen again? The swim team gets their own sauna? Buffy’s finding piles of skin around campus? Xander inexplicably has muscles?

4. Ted, episode 2×11

The only thing scarier than your parents divorce? Your mom rebounding with a homicidal robot who calls you “young lady.”

3. Halloween, episode 2×06

Buffy, kiddo, listen: that guy you’re trying to impress with your Halloween costume is about 250 years old. You do not want to be a damsel in distress!

2. Teacher’s Pet, episode 1×04

Never go to a second location with a sexy, mysterious substitute teacher. This is not up for debate!

1. The Puppet Show, episode 1×09

Four words: Ventriloquist. Dummy. Demon. Hunter.

The Hunt for the Perfect Baked Pumpkin Treat

When the cooler weather arrives, like many of us, I love to get baking. Combine that with Halloween season and pumpkin spice mania, and you’ve got this little project here that I’ve been calling Pumpkin Spice Baked Goods Extravaganza. I chose four pumpkin/pumpkin spice recipes, new to me, and spent a considerable amount of my October baking (and eating) them. Now I’m here to tell you all about it! Read on to find out which recipes really shined in their pumpkin spice flavor, how easy they were to make, and what kind of Halloween/autumn get-together you should serve them at.

Pumpkin Olive Oil Cake with Maple Olive Oil Glaze

There’s a reason I started with this pumpkin olive oil cake recipe. Since checking her cookbook Snacking Cakes out of the library earlier this year, I have become somewhat of a Yossi Arefi devotee. None of her recipes have let me down yet. They’re delicious but easy. They’re all designed to be mixed in one bowl, with no hard to find ingredients, and notes on variations and substitutions. (This pumpkin olive oil cake recipe has suggestions to add chocolate chips as well as to use part rye flour. It also includes instructions for four different pans.)

What’s the flavor like?

This cake is not too sweet, which I love. It’s wholesome tasting enough that without the glaze I’d eat it for breakfast and wouldn’t feel like I injected myself with sugar first thing in the morning. It is heavy on the pumpkin spices, and you can especially taste the cardamom, which is a nice change from the usual cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice. The cake is very moist, with the double hit of juicy pumpkin and olive oil, but there isn’t a strong olive oil taste. The glaze is quite sweet in contrast — it’s basically icing sugar with maple syrup and olive oil — so that really elevates this one from an everyday loaf to a special occasion cake, depending on your mood. The olive oil in the glaze is quite distinct. If you’re not a big fan of olive oil, or if you’re still recovering from a pregnancy-induced aversion to olives and olive oil like me, I’d recommend skipping the olive oil in the glaze.

How easy is it to make?

Easy peasy! One bowl to mix all the ingredients, no electric mixer necessary, and one pan in the oven for about an hour. All you need to do with the glaze is pour it over the cooled cake! One thing is that the cake dough is very thick, not really pourable. Admittedly I didn’t try very hard because I didn’t care, but unlike a more liquidy cake batter, it was hard to get an even surface before I put it in the oven. So if you care about the smoothness of the top of the cake, you might spend some time with a spatula trying to even it out.

What type of Halloween party is it suited for?

As a pretty but casual looking cake, this one would be right at home at your afternoon Halloween outdoor picnic or at your witchy afternoon tea. Sans glaze, this cake would be a nice treat in your Halloween bagged lunch, or for breakfast, or with your mid-morning cup of tea or coffee.

Tips and tricks (ie, mistakes I made that you can avoid!):

Do not add more maple syrup to the glaze than the recipe says or your glaze will be too runny like mine! Or maybe omit some or all of the olive oil and replace with maple syrup. I tasted the recipe as it was, and it wasn’t quite maple syrupy enough for me, but maybe that’s just my Canadianess. The toasted pumpkin seeds on top — which you can add with or without the glaze — really add a nice crunchy texture contrast and toasty flavor. Don’t skip them if you’re tempted to!

Pumpkin Spice Sugar Cookies with Glaze Icing

Although this recipe is by Sally of Sally’s Baking Addiction fame, it doesn’t appear to be on her blog. (I’ve linked another site that shares the recipe). I found it in her print cookbook, Sally’s Cookie Addiction. It is basically a pumpkin spice twist on a standard sugar cookie recipe. If you have Halloween themed cookie cutters, this is their time to shine!

What’s the flavor like?

Obviously, these cookies don’t taste like pumpkin because they don’t have pumpkin in them. The recipe calls for “pumpkin pie spice mix” as well as extra cinnamon. (The commercially made pumpkin pie spice mix I used contains cinnamon, ground ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves which I think is standard). Tbh I’d prefer to separate the spices so they could be tweaked according to your preferences. But the pumpkin spicey taste in these is pretty good! Plus if they’re decorated like pumpkins, it adds a certain pumpkiny je ne sais quoi about them.

How easy is it to make?

If you’ve made sugar cookies before, you know the drill: You need an electric or standup mixer, a rolling pin (or old wine bottle lol), and parchment paper/silicone baking mats; the dough needs to be rolled out and chilled in the fridge for at least an hour; then you cut out your shapes, re-rolling the dough multiple times until you’ve used it up; at last, you can put them in the oven. Icing the cookies is a bit finicky, especially if you don’t own piping, and then you have to wait hours for it to set. The suggested “traditional royal icing” for these cookies — which I did not go for — calls for meringue powder, an ingredient I could not find in my local grocery store. In other words, these are not for the faint of heart or low on time.

What type of Halloween party is it suited for?

If you use Halloween cookie cutters and go all out on the icing, these are extremely seasonal and perfect for a Halloween night party. If you, like me, don’t have an intense love of decorating a lot of sugar cookies on your own, I suggest inviting your friends over for a Halloween cookie decorating party! You could even get everyone to bring a different decorating ingredient, sprinkles, food coloring, googly eyes, etc. It would be a fun activity for kids too.

Tips and tricks (ie, mistakes I made that you can avoid!):

The instructions for baking the cookies say to keep them in until they start to slightly brown on the edge. Personally, I found waiting for that made mine a little crunchier than is my preference. I had better luck sticking to the suggested bake time of 11 minutes. The glaze I used was a bit sloppy to work with, and it didn’t fully dry until like 24 hours after. If you can find meringue powder, I’d suggest using the recommended traditional royal icing recipe with these. I think it’d be worth it!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

I was looking for a pumpkin drop cookie recipe, and this one looked like just the thing! As with most of the pumpkin cookie recipes I found, this one requires “blotting” the pumpkin puree to remove some liquid. This prevents the cookie from being too cake-like, keeping them dense and chewy. The pumpkin puree also acts as a binding agent, so these cookies are actually egg free! If you’re looking to veganize this recipe, all you’d have to do is replace the regular butter with vegan butter or a neutral oil. The recipe calls for melted butter specifically so I assume grapeseed oil or something similar would also work. (I didn’t try this though, FYI!)

What’s the flavor like?

If you love chewy and borderline undercooked cookies like I do, this is the recipe for you. I think it would be impossible to make these cookies crunchy! And the dense texture is accompanied by an intense pumpkin and pumpkin spice flavor. They taste like the best pumpkin pie but in cookie form! The recipe calls for pumpkin pie spice, but also gives individual measurements for different spices as an alternative. They are especially heavy on the cinnamon flavor. In terms of pumpkin/pumpkin spice flavor, these cookies were my favorite!

How easy is it to make?

These cookies are slightly more work than your standard chocolate chip cookies, but only just. The pumping blotting takes a bit of extra time, and the dough also needs to be chilled for at least 30 minutes before you bake them. Otherwise these are quite easy. And you can even make them if you’re out of eggs!

What type of Halloween party is it suited for?

These cookies very much have an “after school snack with a glass of milk” kind of vibe, so serve these at whatever the party equivalent of that is? They are also very potluck friendly (especially if you made them vegan) and could well survive being carted around in a Tupperware container while you made your way to a costume party.

Tips and tricks (ie, mistakes I made that you can avoid!):

The recipe doesn’t specify how much to blot the pumpkin puree, so I erred on the side of a lot. You’d be surprised how much moisture is in pumpkin puree! For the called for six tablespoons of pumpkin, I soaked like four or five full-size paper towels. I just dabbed at the pumpkin with the towel. My cookies came out not cakey at all, so I’d call my blotting a success!

Pumpkin Spice Latte Cookies with Cream Cheese Icing

This is the recipe that started this whole project. Thanks to my partner Jorge for finding it! Basically, the gist here is PSL in cookie form!! Not only do these cookies have pumpkin and all the pumpkin spices in them, they also have coffee flavor and icing that is an approximation of the whipped cream atop your PSL. (Although I suppose you could literally just put whipped cream on these, which I’m sure would be delicious). These are definitely cake-like, but they do feel like cookies and not just glorified muffin tops.

What’s the flavor like?

These cookies have a nice pumpkin and coffee flavor, but I wish they were a little heavier on the warm spices. If I make them again, I’d adjust accordingly. It’s also a bit hard to tell because the cream cheese icing kind of takes over. I joked above about using whipped cream as a topping but whipped cream with pumpkin spices in it would highlight that flavor more, so I think I might actually try that!

How easy is it to make?

In contrast to the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies above, this recipe takes a different approach to reducing the liquid in the pumpkin puree: stovetop cooking. This is an extra 15 minute step, plus it creates more dishes! It does allow the flavors of the coffee (and to a lesser extent the vanilla and spices) to infuse the pumpkin, since you cook them together, so I think it’s worth it. You also have to chill the dough for an hour. The frosting is another extra step, but without it the cookies would be a bit underwhelming imho. In terms of time and ease, these PSL cookies are in between the pumpkin spice sugar cookies (hardest) and the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (easiest).

What type of Halloween party is it suited for?

You could really go full PSL mania and serve these cookies with homemade or Starbucks acquired PSLs (or regular coffee, obviously) at a Halloween or autumn themed brunch! Depending on you or your guests’ caffeine tolerance (or if you opt to use decaf instant coffee vs. instant espresso powder), these might not be the best choice for nighttime treats. Then again, they are really pretty, especially with a little dusting of cinnamon on top and would make a nice after dinner dessert.

Tips and tricks (ie, mistakes I made that you can avoid!):

I found the icing recipe too much for the amount of cookies, even with what I thought was a generous dollop. Now I have extra cream cheese frosting I don’t know what to do with! I’d recommend reducing the icing by ¼ or even a ⅓.

The recipe calls for either instant espresso powder or instant coffee, but says the espresso will create a stronger coffee flavor. I used decaf instant coffee, and I thought the coffee flavor was pretty strong already. I’d be wary of using the called for amount of espresso powder!

If you make these ahead of time for a party, they take up a lot of space to store in the fridge, because you can’t stack them because of the icing. It would probably be more efficient to bake them ahead but frost them just before serving.

Have you made any of these recipes or similar pumpkin spice baked goods? Do you have a favorite pumpkin spice cake/cookie/scone/etc recipe? Please share in the comments!

Let Me DJ Your Gay Halloween Party

To me, October is the sexiest month.

I had my first kiss in the fall of my sophomore year of high school. A few Halloweens after that, I played spin the bottle and kissed my then crush and someone else that would eventually become my girlfriend on the same night. So, it’s no surprise to me that when the air turns crisp every year I get nostalgic and remember how important everything seemed to be back then. October always evokes that feeling of mess in me.

Since then my prefrontal cortex has — I think — aged to a nice ripeness. But Halloween still feels a bit different than it used to when I was a kid. Instead of adolescent tension and my parent’s favorite liquor, these days I enjoy going to a party or show, taking a fun little something, dancing in a gay little costume, and going home to my own skincare routine and bed. Love shaking my ass and then getting into bed at a reasonable time. Must be my Taurus rising.

Anyways, if you’re planning on throwing a messy little gay Halloween party this month or need something to put on your speakers while you hook up with that person dressed in that sexy A League of Their Own costume, allow me to present my gay little Halloween playlist.

I spent a lot of time choosing the correct song to start the playlist off, so please enjoy “UCKERS” by Shygirl to get you in a partying mood — nothing says gay party to me more than a little Shygirl to whet the palette. I’ve also thrown in some classic throwbacks, a few of my favorite house tracks, some moderately festive songs, and other songs I’d want to hear at a party. Basically just songs that I think I would enjoy whilst being drunk at a party.

Here Are 100 Songs From Me to You — Curated to Make You Feel Hot and Festive

69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.

Five Outfits To Wear for Halloweekend