Jill Bennett & Cathy DeBuono Celebrate at “We Have to Stop Now” Season Two Premiere
Jill Bennett & Cathy DeBuono did it up right last weekend with a screening & outdoor bash to celebrate the Season 2 premiere of their labor of love, We Have to Stop Now. Although the series was created for the web, it was shown on the BIG SCREEN as a two-hour feature film for those lucky enough to bribe their way in. The premiere party was complete with a red carpet, Autostraddle’s Nat Garcia doing interviews and live performances from out rock singer Corday and the band Kelly’s Lot. Remember how we all bitched and moaned that some shows did not reflect “they way that we live?” Well, guess what – this show actually does mirror relationships in a version of reality that rings true… particularly for those of us who love to process feelings and appreciate therapy.
Cast L-R: Meredith Baxter, Shannan Leigh Reeve, Ann Noble, Jill Bennett, Cathy DeBuono, Maryfrances Careccia, John W. McLaughlin, Suzanne Westenhoefer
The Plot in a Nutshell
Season 1 established Dyna (Cathy) and Kit (Jill) as married therapists struggling with their relationship following the success of their book, “How to Succeed In Marriage Without Even Trying.” Comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer rounds out the cast as their therapist with the show’s writer/creator Ann Noble as Kit’s stoner sister who plays the wise fool. Season 2 takes those characters and amps up the comedy, depth and pathos. The storyline between the two sisters (Noble and new cast member Maryfrances Careccia as Dyna’s sis) is particularly moving, adding an unexpected layer of sexiness and authenticity beyond the ushe Jill & Cathy chemistry-fest.
Ya know what else is exciting this season? Guest stars! Early in season 2, Dyna & Kit decide to shop around for another therapist and consult with twin shrinks played by Meredith Baxter in her first role since coming out. Once the story conveniently puts everyone on the Sweet cruise (they filmed much of the season on board a ship sailing into the eye of a hurricane, FYI) the celesbians come fast and furious with appearances by Erin Foley, Nicol Paone, Dani Campbell, Kate McKinnon, Corday and the cast of CherryBomb (aka The Lesbian View). Back in November 2009 we were on set with Jill & Cathy while filming at sea.
Missed Season 1? Here’s a Recap…
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Gay for Pay
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Here’s the deal. This shit ain’t free. Jill, Cathy, Ann [DynaKit Productions] and the entire cast & crew poured their heart and soul into this project. They worked (and convinced other people to work) for very little pay and were able to put this thing together thanks to investors, sponsors and a lot of blood, sweat & tears. In exchange for $24, you’ll get 16 episodes [rolled out weekly] plus special features and live feeds with the cast. Unforch, season 1 is no longer free online but it will be released later this year by Wolfe Video. Having seen both seasons in their entirety, I’d really recommend the series to anyone (even your mom!), as it’s not exclusively “gay” but presents its gay characters with total nonchalance and that is a welcome change in the current state of media. Also, there’s a centerpiece sex scene that gives Bette & Tina a run for their money.
To subscribe visit wehavetostopnow.tv
Cathy & Jill answer a pressing question regarding their love scene in season 2:
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Evening With Women 2010: Pink, Gina Gershon, Sarah Silverman & Vegan Cake!
Photo by Faye Sadou
The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center‘s annual Women’s Night benefit was given an elegant makeover in 2009 largely in thanks to one woman – Linda Perry. Her vision and rolodex of creative contacts (she’s written & produced major hits for Pink, Christina Aguilera, and Gwen Stefani) re-energized the gala, now named An Evening with Women: Celebrating Arts, Music and Equality, and it attracts some of the biggest names in entertainment. The money raised goes to benefit the women-specific services of the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s women-specific services including women’s health and medical, legal assistance, domestic violence prevention & education, cultural programs, self-enrichment courses, social events and discussion groups.
Despite being held on the same night as the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, the Evening With Women 2010 was a star-studded event featuring dinner designed by Top Chef‘s Jamie Lauren (which included lesbian vegan cake FYI), a show and silent auction. Gina Gershon (Bound) hosted and performed an opening number wearing a pair of the most glamorous boots ever with re-sexually-oriented lyrics to the old ’60s song “Is That All There Is?” to reflect lesbian life in LA, with references to The Abbey and Girlbar. All told, the evening raised $379,000 for the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. (more…)
VIDEO: AutoNatic Does GLAAD 2010 in LA – Glambert, The Lynch & More!
Relative to the entire timespan of human history, the Los Angeles GLAAD Awards occurred pretty much an hour ago. You already know who won, and you already know how cute everyone looked, but until you see Nat Garcia for AutoNatic at the GLAAD Awards 2010 in Los Angeles, you have no idea.
Watch Nat give a lot of high fives and interview our favorite people in the entire world including Adam Lambert, Constance McMillen, Wanda Sykes, JANE LYNCH BECAUSE THE LYNCH CAN DO NO WRONG, the ladies of The Real L Word, Bryan Batt aka Sal from Mad Men, Nicol Paone and more! Also, she gets Johnny Weir to pretty much come out on Autostraddle today, which is, coincidentally, on Cinco de Gayo! (more…)
Glaad Awards 2010 Photos: Nat Garcia Meets Homostars on Red Carpet
The 21st Annual GLAAD Media Awards happened in Los Angeles on April 18th, 2010 and who was there? Pretty much everyone we love and more. We sent Nat Garcia to the red carpet accompanied by Rocco of Wingspan Pictures who filmed the shenanigans along with her photographer who took the pictures you see in the gallery below.
Drew Barrymore and Wanda Sykes were honored on Sunday night, and the photos it looks as though Nat got a lot of one-on-one time with Ms. Sykes herself.
I have so many questions besides why don’t I live on the west coast(?!), like: isn’t Nat so cute in her little green dress?! Doesn’t Johnny Weir look so damn hugable?! Jane Lynch! Why does Adam Lambert have this hold on my heart? OMG NAT AND ADAM LAMBERT SHARED AIRSPACE. (more…)
GLAAD Awards 2010: Famous Lesbians With Unexpected Dates. Also, Adam Lambert.
Last night, Saturday April 17th, all the gaystars & allies came out for the 2010 21st annual GLAAD Media Awards in Los Angeles, California, hosted by Rickie Vasquez and Candis Cayne. Adam Lambert performed. Autostraddle.com sent Nat Garcia & Wingspan Pictures to the star-studded event and we’ll have their red carpet report for you later this week. In the meantime, we have web scavenger hunt coverage! (more…)
Live-Blogging Dinah Shore Weekend Part IV: Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Hello lesbos and lesbo allies! Welcome to the 2010 Autostraddle Dinah Shore Weekend LIVEBLOG, taking place in Palm Springs from April 1st to April 5th.
We’re splitting our live-blogging up by days:
Here’s what happened Thursday April 1st, DAY ONE and Friday, April 2nd and then yesterday when Julie & Brandy came and conquered. We’re having wordpress issues which prevent us from editing the old posts, so sorry that not everything is in perfect order. Please give us some money so we can afford a $200 a month upgrade to a dedicated server, thank you.
Check back here often, as we’ll be constantly updating this page with plenty of pictures, reportage, tweets, and general nonsense from the Auto-Team here in Palm Springs: Riese, Alex, Brooke, Nat Garcia, Laneia, Sarah, Jess, Tess, Taylor and Kelsey.
We did this last year, but it was only Alex by her lonesome self creaming her pants over lesbians and Lady Gaga. Check out our Official “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dinah Shore” Guide for more on the weesaltkend.
THIS JUST IN – From Saturday Morning – Autostraddle’s Chance Encounter with Miley Cyrus at the Coffee Bean in Palm Springs:
Video Assistant Kelsey, Miley Cyrus & Editorial Assistant Jess - Dinah Shore 2010
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Live-Blogging Dinah Shore Weekend Part III: Julie & Brandy vs. The Lesbians
Hello lesbos and lesbo allies! Welcome to the 2010 Autostraddle Dinah Shore Weekend LIVEBLOG, taking place in Palm Springs from April 1st to April 5th.
We’re splitting our live-blogging by days.
Here’s our Thursday April 1 post and
our Friday April 2 post at Dinah.
Check back here often, as we’ll be constantly updating this page with plenty of pictures, reportage, tweets, and general nonsense from the Auto-Team here in Palm Springs: Riese, Alex, Brooke, Nat Garcia, Laneia, Sarah, Jess, Tess, Taylor and Kelsey.
We did this last year, but it was only Alex by her lonesome self creaming her pants over lesbians and Lady Gaga.
In case you missed our Official “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dinah Shore” Guide, here is the map of Palm Springs that sum up the weekend events:
Club Skirts events shown in magenta.
GirlBar events shown in light blue.
UPDATED MARCH 12 // CLICK TO ENLARGE
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Saturday April 3rd, 2010 at Dinah Shore Weekend:
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11:32 PM I’m sorry, I need to interrupt this broadcast for a special announcement: Katy Perry just came on my TV to try to sell me Proactiv? And saying that she’s a “free spirit?” What the fuck? I should be able to put myself on a federal “no Katy Perry list” the same way I can put myself on a no-call list. What is the opposite of buying Proactiv? I’m going to go do it right now.
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11:25 PM As someone who actually watched a good 20 minutes of the Oscars this year, I can say that the Club Skirts red carpet is 1 for 1. All I need is for someone to cry and thank God and the gays and I’ll be set. Also um Julie and Brandy are HAWT
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11:20 PM Ohmigod. GIRL.
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11:03 PM Riese and Julie on the red carpet! Where does the red carpet go? EDIT Oh this is the Club Skirts Hollywood Party! That makes a lot of sense actually. Sometimes I get pictures before I get told what the event is that is being photographed? My life is really hard, guys. I like Riese’s shoes a lot though! Girl!
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10:55 PM Let’s take a vote in the comments; how drunk do you think the team is right now on a scale of 1 to drunk? In other news, I made myself some hot cocoa.
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10:37 PM Riese says “this weekend has been a lot more like an episode of Skins than I expected. Except for death.” I hope that means that a lot of cute girls got to have sex with other cute girls in the supply closets of military academies. That’s what she means, right?
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10:19 PM Oh heyyyyyyyyyy remember like three hours ago when Taylor met some girl with a snake? I had maybe not taken that real seriously and pictured perhaps a stuffed snake, or a prank pop-out-of-a-can snake or something. Basically I had not assumed that was a real snake. GUESS WHAT I WAS WRONG
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9:51 PM Sarah: Alex is doing the bad romance dance for us.
#obviously #ughwhyaminotthere
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9:44 PM Sarah:Everyone is coming back to the room to drink and get ready for the night!
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9:40 PM Did you know that Salt n Pepa is tonight? It is! Kind of like how Ke$ha was last night but we have so far heard nothing about Ke$ha. Did anyone even go to that? I mean, she’s a very big deal you guys. Maybe she wore another “Indian” costume and the entire rest of the internet is blowing up about it and we missed it. ANYWAYS I found a Salt n Pepa youtube video for you. You’re welcome.
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9:16 PM I’m crossing my fingers for you, ladies
9:11 PM Hey look a picture of Jennifer Coolidge! She’s performing at the HRC fundraiser! I think she was in Best of Show, right? I really liked that movie. Anyways!
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9:04 PM Sooo, just to recap: Half the team is drinking and LOLing at Jennifer Coolidge at the HRC fundraiser, and the other half is drinking and having fun at an unnamed but cute-looking bar/restaurant. In contrast, I am watching a Quilted Northern commercial and thinking about microwaving my cup of tea because it’s gone cold. Oh hey, Starship Troopers just came on! In short, I think the rest of the autoteam is maybe getting the better half of this deal.
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8:58 PM I think we’re inside now! #pretty
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8:47 PM Saturday Night Um you guys the Club Skirts Hollywood Party is turning into like an actual red carpet. I am impressed! There’s Grace Chu in the white blazer!
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8:38 PM Oh Brooke wants credit for her red carpet pictures. YOU GUYS ALL THE RED CARPET PICTURES WERE TAKEN BY BROOKE, I think they look fabulous for real
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8:34 PM Um sorry for the really embarrassing WordPress disaster! Sometimes you go to Dinah with everyone with even a basic understanding of how to run an online magazine and leave some girl in charge who was an intern as of like two weeks ago, what can I say? We’re back now! I love you! Look I made you a drink! No I didn’t this is for me.
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8:32 PM HI GUYS we’re having a lot of really special WordPress Moments over here, and the old post is um broken. Read this one for the rest of the night! I bet there will be more photos of Brandy looking pretty!
8:29 PM I feel like no one is reading anymore, which is really too bad because I think the team just starting drinking and that means shit is about to get real
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8:28 PM Brooke: At the GirlBar HRC fundraiser with Riese, Alex, Julie and Brandy. Jennifer Coolidge is performing. And we are sitting in the back of the room like the cool kids we are.
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8:21 PM Sarah: We are eating dinner and hanging out and talking before we see SALT AND PEPA We’re out at a restaurant instead of the hotel!
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7:58 PM Have no idea where anyone is. I may just start live-blogging my RSS feed.
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7:41 PM WELL THEN
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7:33 PM Look! A cute picture of Tess and Nat! I don’t know where they are so I’m going to start making stuff up. They’re out at dinner celebrating how Nat and Julie and Brandy won every webseries award ever! Congratulations!
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7:22 PM Riese just sent me this picture. I am going to assume it was also from the webseries battle? How long is that lasting? Like, forever? Natalie is pretty.
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7:13 PM I am told that this is what the Autostraddle booth looked like this afternoon. Slash maybe still looks like now. Slash maybe the team has been abducted by aliens. And/or playing beer pong? Don’t you think this table would be great for beer pong? Slash beirut. We call it beirut here.
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6:58 PM Radio silence persists. Oh wait no, we just got a really choice quote from my favorite video editing assistant in the world Kelsey:
“Girls are fucking nuts. So much drama all the time. In the hall, in the bed…” -Kelsey
Thank you for that, Kelsey. We hope to hear more from you later.
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6:00 PM Sarah: Julie Goldman was all kinds of perfect when she introduced our web series. We have video for later!
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5:53 PM Let’s talk a little about this lesbian webseries battle, for those of you who are too lazy to click the link below. It’s hosted by Suzanne Westenhoefer for Club Skirts, which is obvs great, and features Anyone But Me, AutoNatic, Cherry Bomb, FEED, Girltrash, Insight, In Your Box Office, Seeking Simone, The Lovers & Friends Show, The Real Girl’s Guide to Everything Else, and We Have To Stop Now. Actually that’s mostly all I know. Are they actually competing for real at Dinah? Like do they have to race or fight or anything? I have no idea. Brooke sent some pictures though!
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5:34 PM SO! What went down while I was gone was um probably one of the top 3 most important things at Dinah, namely OneMoreLesbian’s Battle of the Lesbian Webseries. Because if there’s one thing lesbians love it’s webseries, and if there’s one thing Autostraddle loves it’s WINNING. Speaking of which, I am pretty sure we won something! I wish I knew what.
I’m just going to go ahead and assume that we won every award for lesbian webseries ever, and that this photo was why. Sexy hot hot hotness and JULIE GOLDMAN BOOB GRAB. You’re welcome.
The Lovers & Friends Show won the whole she-bang, which makes a lot of sense because they’re fantastic and incredibly talented. I don’t think they had Nat Garcia grab their tits though so really I would say we all walked away winners.
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5:31 PM Wow ok I was gone for a really long time! Sorry about that, but now I am fed and have a glass of wine and there’s a really good documentary on the History Channel about the Shroud of Turin, so I’m pretty much all set to make this liveblog the best ever. Get exciteddddddd
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5:28 PM HI okay I’m not really back yet BUT the Battle of the Lesbian Webseries with Club Skirts is going down right now and I just had to put up this picture, it is the most adorable thing. More soon!
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4:40 PM Um I think I need to eat dinner? I might be bad at blogging for a while, sorry, I will leave you with this, you’re welcome
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4:37 PM omg omg
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4:35 PM
Nat: Who was that girl earlier talking to the girl with the drugs? Was that tess?
Taylor: I don’t know?
Riese: It was Taylor.
Taylor: Okay, it was me. Look, I’m a sketchy-ass motherfucker, let’s just be straight about this right away. I am a sketchy. Ass. Motherfucker.
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4:20 PM We were not kidding about Brandy giving everyone a 10. Look, she’s giving me a 10 right now. Also you, you just scored a 10. Damn girl, Brandy thinks you’re fine! I feel so good about myself right now
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4:15 PM Who invented aviators? I feel like they should be paying us, no one else is ever going to rock them like this
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4:12 PM OH SHIT YOU GUYS get ready for #cutecity, it’s about to happen
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3:54 PM You guys, I’m crying. There are tears in my eyes. #desertstraddle2010 #iloveeveryone
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3:42 PM Bet you $20 that’s a water bottle full of whiskey
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3:30 PM “Oh my god, there’s the lady from the titty thing!” -Brandy Howard
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3:25 PM Actually this particular Ani album is great but a little too chilled-out, may have to switch to Little Plastic Castles. #twolittlegirls
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3:10 PM Okay, it’s getting kind of late in the day back in The Real World slash east coast where I am, and I would be lying if I said I did not want to take a nap. BUT I just put on my Ani playlist, so am anticipating a strong second wind. Get ready for it to get real fuckin’ gay in here. #totheteeth
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2:55 PM You guys. You guys, Laneia just sent me the most Dinah-esque photo. It’s like when Raven says “that’s so Raven,” except like “that’s so Dinah.” You could look at this endlessly and still find more layers of essential Dinah Shore-ness. Lesbians! Tattoos! Boardshorts! Banners with poor graphic design! #Beer! I think someone in the corner is crying b/c their current girlfriend’s ex’s best friend who is also their ex was in the wet t-shirt contest with another girl! Maybe if we look really hard SamRo will be in there, like lesbian Where’s Waldo! Thank you, Laneia!
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2:38 PM Riese and Julie share a moment of quiet reflection and beer.
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2:25 PM Alex: It’s me and Nicole Pacent from Anyone But Me!
Christ, I am officially the only gay girl in the entire world who is not in Palm Springs right now.
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2:16 PM Brooke: Me with Lezzie Lilly and her entourage at the GirlBar Wet&Wild Pool Party!
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2:10 PM FINALLY. Where you been girl? #tinkerbellstraddle2010
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1:39 PM #WETTSHIRTTWEETS
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1:34 PM You guys, Brandy’s just giving everyone a 10. I support this.
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1:20 PM GET IT GIRL
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1:13 PM I appreciate that ladies who are wearing bikinis instead of t-shirts aren’t barring themselves from participation
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1:10 PM Ahaha I just swallowed my tongue
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1:06 PM WHAT IS HAPPENING HGJTYOIUONPFF
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1:04 PM Laneia: This wet t-shirt contest is CRAZY
Um, YES, I would say that is true. YOU’RE NOT EVEN WEARING A TSHIRT OMG
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12:01 PM Oh hi there.
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12:57 PM GIRL. This shit is about to go DOWN.
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12:53 PM Brooke: I’ve managed to sneak myself into the DJ booth!
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12:44 PM EXECUTIVE LESBIAN REALNESS #DESERTSTRADDLE2010
I think the Club Skirts wet t-shirt contest is sooooooooonnnn, I feel it in my bones
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12:34 PM Oh man you guys you should delete that previous group photo that I know you secretly saved to your hard drive to keep forever and use this one instead, it has an extra special treat:
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11:20 AM Brooke wants to give a shoutout to reader Niyo who hooked her up with a free brunch at the Hyatt. Niyo I don’t know who you are but you are a beautiful human being
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12:09 PM I wonder if we get pictures of the wet t-shirt contest too? Am I allowed to put that on here? Cause just saying, CSI is on and I got a check for $17 from the federal government today, the only thing that could make it better is sunburned lesbian nipple. #desertstraddle2010
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12:03 PM Look! Julie and Brandy are on their way to judge the at the wet-shirt contest at the Club Skirts Cabana Girl Pool Party! I think this is super cute, I am even more excited about them than #mileystraddle. Also did you watch their new In Your Box Office yet? You should b/c it was magical
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11:40 AM Er also:
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11:30 AM We interrupt this Teen Choice Awards broadcast to bring you a special missive from our CEO of Ideas and total baller Riese, she said to paraphrase but I’m not going to b/c Riese is good at writing words:
Today is the Club Skirts wet t-shirt contest judged by Julie & Brandy. Last night we went to GirlBar’s White Party to see SamRo, unfortunately Lindsay did not follow her there, but every time she touched the turntables with her giant lesbian fingers, Laneia and I shivered a little inside from the hotness. Everyone from GirlBar was super sweet and awesome to us, and I got to touch Jennifer Coolidge’s butt! Brooke basically got us passes to events at both of the parties and I love it. Do I sound like product placement right now? I just want world peace, Rachel, that’s what I want.
Tonight we are moving everyone into the same hotel room so that our second room can be given to Julie & Brandy. Because this puts me, Laneia and her broken foot, Sarah, Alex, Taylor, Kelsey, Tess and Jess in the same room, we’ve decided that everyone has to be in an open relationhsip so we can all find different places to sleep.
I personally am excited for #desertstraddle2010 to be taken to its logical conclusion, #giantlesbianorgystraddle2010.
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11:11 AM Can we start a rumor that Miley Cyrus is at Dinah/in Palm Springs because she’s a lesbian? How old is she, like 15? That’s old enough to know. Will I get sued? Yes, probably, and lose my job. #mileystraddle2010
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10:55 AM Forget the rest of Dinah, I’m going to devote the rest of this liveblog to people’s Miley Cyrus reactions. It’s going to take all day to process this.
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10:48 AM OH SHIT Jess:OMG MILEY f*in CYRUS at Coffee Bean. At first I was distracted because Suzanne Westenhoefer was ALSO in our coffee line, but then shit got amazing when we saw Miley with her super gay assistant manhandling her morning coffee. Kelsey and I chased her down upon exiting the ‘Bean and explained that we needed a photo for our lesbian Dinah liveblog because let’s face it, this is fucking hilarious. Her gay assistant took this pic of Miley, Kelsey and I, instructing us: “1, 2, 3 say lesbos!”
Video Assistant Kelsey, Miley Cyrus & Editorial Assistant Jess - Dinah Shore 2010
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10:40 AM And so it begins:
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10:36 AM EST Jess: It’s 10am, everyone’s hung over, and 2 sporty spice women in GO
Magazine tank tops are jogging down N. Palm Canyon Way.
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10:28 AM – PALM SPRINGS TIME Alex: We are recovering. Slowly but surely. Julie and Brandy arrive today, and will be judging a wet t-shirt contest in about 2 hours or so.
1 PM EST Hellllooooooooo everybody! Did you sleep well? Are you hungover? We are. I wasn’t even drinking but I woke up with a sympathy headache. I kind of can’t believe the white party happened? Wheeee! Let’s do this!
PAX East 2010 Journal Part I: Gamers & Weirdos Invade Boston!
WELCOME TO BAHSTAN:
Why hello there! Last weekend, as I mentioned during my post-bus travel haze, our very own Kelsey the Video Person and I made the trek to Boston from NYC for Pax East 2010. PAX is the video game conference put on by the gentlemen of Penny Arcade. And I love gaming and Penny Arcade and also just got some really precious business cards printed, so we went.
We made it there and back alive, and only some of the in-between parts are hazy, for whatever reason. I blame that on Rachel, the Autostraddle All Star kind enough to let us crash at her place and bug the shit out of her for directions around Boston constantly.
I had never been to Boston, but I do really like The Departed, and also New England c
lam chowder, so I think that counts. Kelsey had been and was frequently awash with directional sense-memories, guiding us like some kind of Bloody Mary fueled GPS system.
PAX EAST 2010 DAY 0:
We got into Boston at like late. Like 11:30 or something, which is late ’cause I’m an old person and go to sleep at midnight. Well, not always but yeah, it was late. So we get in and we’re like, hey let’s meet with our delightful, bookish-seeming online Auto pal, Rachel who we’ve never met so she can guide us! And so we plan to meet her at some weirdly named Boston subway station (not Alewife, that’s my fave weird name).
So Rachel shows up and it turns out we really underestimated her, because not only is she seemingly Ragingly Drunk, but she’s got like 20 other Ragingly Drunk gay ladies with her! Wow! Rachel’s neat!
Naturally we become fast friends and this roving pack of dykes leads Kelsey and I out for the night, after we down an entire bottle of shitty white wine on public transportation in like 10 minutes so we can catch up and not look like losers or nerds. So then Rachel and her cohorts lead us to this lesbian club that everyone insists is Lame. Kelsey and I didn’t think the club was all that Lame, but maybe that’s because we’re Lame? I hope not.
The point of all this Day 0 business is that Rachel was Really Cool. And also more so, the point is posting this photo of Rachel stuffing dollar bills into the thong of an exotic dancer.
Because it happened and that’s what iPhone cameras are for. Thanks for humoring me and doing this Rachel. Also the point is excuses. Because turns out we stayed out til 4:30 or so drinking, and that’s like way past my bedtime. But Kelsey almost got a new ladyfriend out of it- one from Western Massachusetts who works in contracting. She seemed real nice and told Kelsey she was cute a lot, which is also real nice because everyone likes to be told that they’re cute. Also, I think we made so many New Friends because we declined to tell anyone that we were in Boston for a gaming conference. We probably said we were visiting relatives or something.
Yes, I realize that at this point Kelsey and I haven’t even made it to PAX East yet, but these are all Important Things I need to share with you. And it’s my journal and my Geekender, so everybody just lay off!
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Live-Blogging Dinah Shore Weekend Part II: Autostraddle vs. The Lesbians
Hello lesbos and lesbo allies! Welcome to the 2010 Autostraddle Dinah Shore Weekend LIVEBLOG, taking place in Palm Springs from April 1st to April 5th.
We’re splitting our live-blogging up by days.
Did you miss Thursday, April 1?! How dare you! Get on it GIRL. You’re lookin’ good today.
Check back here often, as we’ll be constantly updating this page with plenty of pictures, reportage, tweets, and general nonsense from the Auto-Team here in Palm Springs: Riese, Alex, Brooke, Nat Garcia, Laneia, Sarah, Jess, Tess, Taylor and Kelsey.
We did this last year, but it was only Alex by her lonesome self creaming her pants over lesbians and Lady Gaga.
In case you missed our Official “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dinah Shore” Guide, here is the map of Palm Springs that sum up the weekend events:
Club Skirts events shown in magenta.
GirlBar events shown in light blue.
UPDATED MARCH 12 // CLICK TO ENLARGE
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Friday April 2nd, 2010 at Dinah Shore Weekend:
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4:24 AM Alex: Um it’s 1:24am and as soon as Kelis sings about milkshakes, I’m done. We out. She’s pretty fuckin fierce though, so I give her that. /retroactive feelings
Can someone tell me what the deal is with that wolf? I don’t think I “get it.”
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4:14 AM MORE FEELINGS: It is v. late both here and in Hotel California and Kelis hasn’t even gone on yet which, girl, what is that about? ANYWAYS I am going to go to bed so I will be ready for #feelingsstraddle2010 tomorrow, and you should too! Goodnight to Nicole and Rachel, my homegirls who are still awake. Go to bed ladies. Dream about Keira Knightley. Or whoever. I love you. GOODNIGHT
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3:56 AM THIS IS MY FEELING AS WELL
#desertstraddle2010
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3:32 AM OMG girrrrrrl, things just got cute up in here! THIS GIRL MEANS BUSINESS
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3:28 AM You know, where is Team Ke$ha? Wasn’t that the plan, that we split the group like in Scooby Doo and attend both? Did Team Ke$ha get stabbed? I really need someone to realize my plan where they meet Ke$ha in the back with a bottle of jack and see if she really is an “animal” slash “bisexual.” In related news, is anyone else in the entire world awake and reading this? Because I’m at the point where no one else I even know is awake and all that’s on TV is Avril Lavigne doing ProActiv commercials, and I’m just not really feeling it.
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3:11 AM Alex: I don’t know Riese wanted me to take this photo and send it?
I GET IT YOU GUYS SHE’S VERY ATTRACTIVE. I’m just over here watching NUTRISYSTEM INFOMERCIALS AT 3 AM, don’t mind me.
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2:58 AM Brooke: Wearing a tie for the first time in my life. Mixed emotions.
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2:54 AM I’m getting the message loud and clear about hotness w/r/t SamRo, you guys.
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2:48 AM Laneia: This is a thing that’s happening:
HGHHTYDOFFFGJTYOR
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2:37 AM Laneia: Lice could be spread here. Just saying. #close
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2:36 AM Sarah: SamRo is playing “I Want You Back.” Obvs for Lindsay. Now it’s “Signed Sealed Delivered” and straight into “Sex Machine.” THERE’S A THEME
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2:34 AM I don’t know if you heard, but we’re at the GirlBar Pure White Party? Like, we’re all wearing white. At a party. Except for Riese who’s wearing black because she’s a special snowflake. Also, it turns out they weren’t kidding about GirlBar, there are a lot of ladies up in here! Including one who looks like Dominique from that one cycle of ANTM, can you find her?
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2:27 AM HI WE HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT SAMANTHA RONSON. If that is not your thing you should probably check out for a while, make a sandwich or stare at the poster of Cathy and Jill on your wall
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2:10 AM And SPEAKING of HEY GIRL HEY, it’s SamRo taking her throne/place/stage at GirlBar’s Pure White Party!
Riese “thinks SamRo is hot IRL.” Specifically, she says “Tell Rachel I said she’s really hot.” She’s my boss, you guys! #ihavethebestboss
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2:03 AM Oh hey, I look away for ten minutes and Riese is suddenly hanging out with Jennifer Coolidge! Hey girl hey!
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1:47 AM BOOM BOOM POW
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1:43 AM Well, here we go:
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1:28 AM Sarah: We’re assembling.
!!!
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1:21 AM Goal for the night is to not fall asleep before team #desertstraddle2010 makes it to the white party. This may or may not happen. Would help if anyone in Palm Springs were talking to me. Just saying.
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12:57 AM In case you were wondering what’s going on, Riese has it covered for you.
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12:29 AM YOU GUYS
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12:25 AM Can I just take this moment to whine a little, just until 12:26? Everyone else gets to drink and make their hair pretty in fancy mirrors like they have for Las Vegas showgirls, and then wear white which will show off the tan they probs got today and gyrate while Samantha Ronson holds a headset to one ear. I have to stay up just as late (later? the east coast is 3 hours ahead) but cannot drink b/c then i would be drinking at home alone on a Friday night while eating ice cream and watching Whose Line (for real) and that is not okay. Also I do not have a sexy tshirt and have had zero bloody marys today. THAT IS ALL. We can keep going now!
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12:16 AM “So glammy!” – Laneia
#gettingreadyforthewhiteparty
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12:00 AM Sarah: We are doing what the kids call “pregaming.” That mostly consists of everyone whining about having to wear white. We are disregarding rule #1 of being in a horror movie and splitting up into groups. Half of us are going to go see Ke$ha and half of us are going to go stalk Lilo I MEAN see Samantha.
y’all someone is going to get STABBED but maybe we will break the story on how Sam and Lilo actually just secretly eloped and are also both pregnant with twins.
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11:52 PM OKAY GUYS NEW PLAN, since WordPress is like a delicate flower that is too fragile for the harsh ways of the world, we are going to lighten the load and post some photos on Facebook instead of here. Click on over and it will feel like you are invited to an exclusive club where you get to see how pretty we are. #feelings and #desertstraddle2010 will continue happening here.
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11:42 PM I feel like this was an ANTM photoshoot and the direction was “BE THE REVOLUTION.” It was shot by J. Alexander.
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11:37 PM Things I will just never get over: this shark slash this series of shark pictures
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11:31 PM Wakeup time! Wake up sleepyheads! KE$HA IS WAITING FOR YOU
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11:13 PM Jess: So I’m at the Palm Springs Convention Center for the comedy show…
Erin Foley is adorbs per ushe which makes me very jealous of Nicol Paone. Why aren’t Julie Goldman or Liz Feldman doing standup? Anyhoo, everyone is very funny and the lesbians are all in white for the dollar sign (um, Ke$ha) concert happening in a bit. Btw, I totally saw $ this afternoon doing an interview and she looked semi-human!
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10:34 PM Time for #cutetexts from Sarah F*cking P*lmer: Rachel it’s naptime! And porch time. Fyi. We think they lost our room service order. Also Samantha Ronson is in the same town as us! Wheee!
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10:15 PM Last I heard Riese did not have any pants for the white party. Is that still the case? B/c if so I see a lot of no-pants dancing in our future
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10:11 PM Ok ok ok we can go back to #cutestraddle2010. CARRY ON.
Brooke: I do not know how to iron. Taylor is domesticated and ironing my shirt for the upcoming white party.
You guys, Taylor knows a lot of ways to wear a bandana. Did you know this? It’s true, she’s like a black belt at wearing bandanas. Hopefully we will be able to see all her bandana decisions in all their glory over the next few days. ARE YOU LISTENING TAYLOR
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9:54 PM WHAT THE FUCK I just found out that Kelsey has been trying to get lesbians to have sex with the shark and I HAVE NO PICTURES OF THIS. I haven’t been that upset since that time everyone was really cute and I wasn’t there, which was like 20 minutes ago.
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9:27 PM Heartbreakingly we have to take a short break from #cutestraddle2010, because Brooke took this picture for us:
Brooke says she heard this was a soundcheck, but I feel like these ladies are looking awfully posed for a soundcheck? Maybe it’s a photo op. Also these may or may not be the Paradiso Girls. I think it is but also I had no idea who Kelis was until an hour ago, so. UPDATE: Brooke says one of their shirts says Patron Tequila?
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9:11 PM I’m just going to stop talking now. This will be a photoblog from now on. Eh eh eh, there’s nothing more I can say.
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9:03 PM Brooke: Alex can’t find her pants and is napping on the floor.
LOOK AT THAT. WHY WOULD YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE BESIDES THIS LIVEBLOG.
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8:57 PM JK it turns out we are ALL WORK AND NO PLAY. This is how your magazine gets made y’all. By ladies lookin’ cute on a hotel bed.
Is Alex wearing boyshorts? I hope yes
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8:43 PM I’m going to go ahead and guess that we are now in the transitional period between “pool party” and “white party.” I won’t lie, it sounds awesome.
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8:23 PM Why are you even following this liveblog, clearly Riese’s twitter is where it’s at
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8:20 PM !!!
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8:02 PM BREAKING NEWS: Kelsey’s mom thinks she is actually at the LGBA golf tournament. Kelsey’s mom is my new favorite person.
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7:50 PM OMG you guys. YOU GUYS. CSI, my favorite show in the history of shows (except for Iron Chef Japan) is on, and it’s even an episode I haven’t seen! I am confident this will add a sexy, dangerous new dimension to my liveblogging, get excited. Cause Sara Sidle is hot, right?
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7:35 PM Not to get too pathetic or anything, but I maybe spent the last 15 minutes watching Kelis music videos because I know nothing about her and she is performing tonight. So far I have learned that 1) She is bossy, 2) you’re not going to trick her twice, and 3) I like her a lot I think! I bet that will be a good show!
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7:19 PM !!! OMG too fucking cute for me to handle
We can probs stop the liveblog now, it isn’t getting any better than this! Just kidding we can NEVER STOP EVER
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6:48 PM Oh no Laneia is still playing hurt! I think we need a prayer circle you guys, who’s with me
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6:41 PM Jesus Christ, I just checked the schedule again and there are TWO MORE POOL PARTIES tomorrow. I really hope everyone packed sunscreen, I really honestly worry a lot about skin cancer and I am cringing just thinking about this
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6:34 PM Alex:This Dinah merch girl liked our tshirts and wanted one. So I gave her my last tank! Then she straddled this chair!
I support this decision, mostly b/c that girl is a stone fox. I’m jealous because I don’t have an Autostraddle tank top! Also when Alex said merch girl I immediately thought of Tiara, where are you girl, we miss you
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6:25 PM Oh my God! You guys! I want to put this in a locket or something!
Alex: How cute is Nat Garcia?!
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6:22 pm Oh heyyyyyyy more lesbians by a pool
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6:20 PM Oh shit, I just checked the schedule for tonight and realized that it’s Kelis/Sam Ronson night! That is so cool you guys, sometimes I forget that Sam Ronson is an actual human person who DJs parties and not just a thing I write daily fixes about, but a bunch of drunk lesbians are going to Experience Her for real. Oh Jesus Christ and tonight is Ke$ha’s thing too. How will we ever decide what to go to? WE ARE SO POPULAR.
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6:07 PM I just have a lot of questions about lube wrestling in general. What kind of lube are they using? Lube is expensive, how much did it cost to fill up that baby pool? Once when I was in high school my friends and I all came back from a gay prom and slept on the floor and someone gave someone else a back massage using lube as lotion. That is literally the closest I’m getting to Dinah. The program didn’t even say “lube wrestling,” it just said “pool party” – do pool parties normally have this? Am I just going to the wrong pool parties?
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5:59 PM Riese is sending pictures too! I am not sure what this is:
I feel like you could play Lesbian I Spy with it though. Ready? I’ll start: I spy one pair of cargo shorts and I think maybe a hoodie. YOUR TURN.
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5:56 PM I’m in love. This is it. This is no longer the Dinah Liveblog, it’s just the Lube Wrestling Liveblog. Also Riese isn’t here so there’s no one to stop me from changing the name of the site to lubestraddle.com. Fun fact: sometimes Laneia calls lube “situation lotion,” you guys should all say it too so it catches on.
I wish I had more context here – who is wrestling? Who is winning? Where are these women coming from? Does Dinah have its own team of bikini-clad professional wrestlers? B/c some of these ladies look buff (hot) as hell. Is this an Olympic event? If so, I might give up my dream of being professional eater and start training.
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5:50 PM — I’ve changed my mind, I’m totally pro-Dinah now, this is a great idea
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5:46 PM — Brooke: This is about to happen:
It’s happening! It’s really happening! LUBE WRESTLING WILL BE A REALITY
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5:40 PM — YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
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5:00 PM — Hi! Sorry this is taking forever! We had a little bit of a Firefox Situation but it is ok now!
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3:55 PM — KELSEY SPEAKS: So last night was fun. We went to bed at 930 ca time so to be fair it was later IRL. Also Alex made us put together some auto lanyards to hand out tomorrow. But then I started crying because I was tired. No one really understood what was happening but I got a lot of hugs out of it. Then I woke up this morning and got my period. So sorry everyone I was just pms-ing.
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3:45 PM – Um this is not related at all but I’m worried you guys don’t know how great Taylor and Kelsey are, so they sent this picture of Kelsey posing like a statue of George W. Bush. You’re welcome.
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3:30 PM — Taylor: Kelsey and I found bloody marys, thank everything holy. Were gonna procure a fine buzz before the pool party goes down because that shit looks intense- there’s a logo sponsored baby pool of lube, which kind of made me throw up when I stumbled across it at like 10am
ALL MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE. Also Taylor and Kelsey are maybe the most adorable? Of anyone? Ever? Yes.
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3:00 PM – Oh hey guys! You all look so cute and tan! Especially Riese! Thanks for sending me this iPhone picture!
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2:30 PM – Here is what I like to imagine is happening right now:
Riese: Whee! I love pool parties!
Laneia: I know! It’s all the fun of childhood without the awkwardness of middle school parties and feeling like you have to wear a t-shirt into the pool!
Taylor: I have ONE HUNDRED MOJITOS!
Kelsey: And I brought everyone candy!
Alex, Jess, Tess, Brooke, Sarah: Hooray!
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST
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2:03 PM — Taylor: Oh man- I came out to the pool to cover up my extreme paleness and I think they’re setting up some pool party situation which looks terrifying. A nice old dyke just gave me a towel- so much lesbo chivalry! Hey, I hold doors open.
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1:00 PM – Once again, in lieu of actually knowing anything about what’s going on at Dinah, I’m going to look at our helpful Dinah guide that we wrote ourselves ostensibly for other people going to Dinah and not, um, livebloggers. It turns out that today there’s – oh, a giant pool party! Two pool parties actually. Obvs I have not heard from anyone all day b/c you can’t take iPhones in the pool. This was poorly planned on our part. This is the picture we have associated with the pool party on the Dinah guide, though, so.
Can you tell I have a little bit of a one-track mind as far as Dinah goes? I am trying really hard to convince myself that it is a weekend of all lesbian wrestling, all the time. I guess I just like a girl in a bikini who can put me in an armbar.
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12:35 PM – Okay, Laneia may be awake but apparently no one else is. I CAN’T LIVEBLOG YOU SLEEPING GUYS
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12: 15 PM – OKAY we are back now from a long and lonely night of WordPress Not Letting Me Post In This Liveblog. What happened in those hours of radio silence? We may never know for sure, but Brooke did send me this photo on her iPhone.
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2:47 AM — Alex: We’re back in the room! After dinner! I am drunk! Laneia has fallen and hurt her foot because she forgot how curbs work.
Apparently we missed out on some really great tacos, guys. #lifeishard
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2:29 AM — Riese: Everyone is crazy!!!!!!!
[I’m not sure if I was supposed to post that, but I’m going to go ahead and assume YES]
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12:41PM — Alex: There’s a pool party happening and it sounds awesome but the Auto-Team in our hotel room on our computers! We had technical difficulties (awesome timing with that,) but we’re back in action and will see the sun soon! I think/hope! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming above!
Here we are at dinner last night before we disappeared from the internet for 12 hours:
Live-Blogging Dinah Shore Weekend: Autostraddle vs. The Lesbians
Hello lesbos and lesbo allies! Welcome to the 2010 Autostraddle Dinah Shore Weekend LIVEBLOG, taking place in Palm Springs from April 1st to April 5th.
Check back here often, as we’ll be constantly updating this page with plenty of pictures, reportage, tweets, and general nonsense from the Auto-Team here in Palm Springs: Riese, Alex, Brooke, Nat Garcia, Laneia, Sarah, Jess, Tess, Taylor and Kelsey.
We did this last year, but it was only Alex by her lonesome self creaming her pants over lesbians and Lady Gaga.
In case you missed our Official “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dinah Shore” Guide, here is the map of Palm Springs that sum up the weekend events:
Club Skirts events shown in magenta.
GirlBar events shown in light blue.
UPDATED MARCH 12 // CLICK TO ENLARGE
Enough chit chat. LEZ GET REAL.
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Friday April 2, 2010
1:37 AM — Riese: There’s Web 2.0… this is Web 2.tess.
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1:32 AM — Also did I tell you how much I love Taylor? B/c it’s a lot:
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1:17 AM — It turns out writing a daily fix while liveblogging is hard! Did you guys read the daily fix Riese wrote for today? Wasn’t it really funny? I thought it was really funny, seriously.
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1:01 AM — Sarah: We are at dinner b/c Alex gets cranky without tacos. It’s me and Laneia and Riese and Jess and Tess and Grace and alcohol!
I just realized that in California it’s 10 pm and not 1 am so eating tacos is a pretty normal and cool thing to do! #waytogoguys #tacos
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12:57 AM — BREAKING TAYLOR UPDATE: Okay, I am in the bed and that’s because I have not slept since approximately 7 am on March 30. Kelsey & I flew through Houston to some place that wasn’t LA today. And we slept in weird piles on the plane or tried to. We were real smelly and weird when we got in at like 2pm. But we started drinking and sat toward the sun and that was cool. No one noticed that we were smelly which was a plus, socially speaking. So were really freakishly pale by the pool but happily everyone and their dyke mom wasn’t here yet, so we drank 100 mojitos. Then I think Nicole Pacent told me that world of Warcraft was really cool but that may have been a mirage. Also she has a star wars ringtone, FYI.
My main goals are to a) drink in the sun and b) be in the sun drinking. So I am gonna sleep now, fuck all y’all haters. Also nighttime lesbo parties freak me out because god knows there ain’t no accountability when the sun goes down. (Rachel’s note: This is true.) Happily Tess left AN ENTIRE FOAM COOLER OF BEER IN MY ROOM SO IM GONNA DRINK MYSELF INTO A NICE STUPOR AND CRASH. J/k the stupor is just fine and I’m full up on coors.
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12:50 AM — Taylor has promised to “get soberer” and “find a laptop.” Since I am pretty sure they are by now up in the club sippin’ that bub (that’s what you do in Dinah right?) I imagine this will look like:
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12:43 AM — Alex: This happened – it’s cute, right?
um, YES!
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12:01 AM — Oh look we made it to Friday! Actually I haven’t heard from anyone in like an hour so maybe they didn’t make it for all I know. Oh wait no! This just happened! #desertstraddle2010 #adorable
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Thursday April 1st, 2010
11:35 PM — Laneia and Sarah might actually be in the desert forever. To be honest, there are worse things. They packed a shark, and I am 110% sure they packed beer.
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11:22 PM – Alex: Yeah so I realized just now that we will have to rally and put together our lanyards and card holders that we’re giving away at our booth tomorrow — ALL 500 OF EM. I’m an idiot and forgot to do this in advance. Also half of us are drunk already.
Also, I just realized I’m in Alex’s phone as “Liveblog Rachel” and I think that’s adorable.
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11:17 PM — New rule, I’m just going to keep making graphics until someone tells me what the fuck is happening. I’m pretty sure this is what’s going on in the deserts of California, correct me if I’m wrong:
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10:45 PM — I just realized Dinah is smack in the middle of Passover. I wonder how that’s going? Actually I don’t know that anyone going for AS is Jewish, except maybe half of Riese, mabes it is not that big a deal. Also though there are a bunch of Jewish people in California, like 40% of the Jewish people I know are from there, they’re probably knee-deep in matzoh at Girlbar right now. I GOT THE MANISCHEWITZ GURRRRRRRRL I KNOW YOU THIRSTY
Unrelated, I just found out that if you google “lesbian jews” with safe search off you get a bunch of porn. Just lettin’ you know.
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10:25 PM — TAYLOR SPEAKS: Hey! Wha?
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10:21 PM — Ok, lacking actual information from the field, I weakened and went and checked the Dinah guide after all. It turns out there is a motherf*cking ton of stuff happening right now actually, like an “opening bash” at someplace called “Zeldaz,” a “kickoff opening dance,” and LOLz. Seriously, that’s what the program says. Erin Foley and Nicol Paone are there! We love them, they will bring the LOLz for sure.
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10:00 PM — Laneia is by far the best to liveblog. Where the fuck is everyone else? I bet they’re all doing this:
That’s a thing at Dinah, right? Lesbian mud wrestling? They’re wearing tank tops, I bet one of them is Dorothy Snarker.
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9:57 PM — Laneia: Taylor Kelsey and Tess are having fun without us! It smelled like orange blossoms when we crossed the state line.
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9:50 PM — Laneia: THERE ARE NO SPEED LIMIT SIGNS IN CALIFORNIA
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9:49 PM — Laneia: It’s cold! Wearing a sweater w the heat on BUT THE TOP IS STILL DOWN.
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9:47 PM — I have no idea where anyone is or what they’re doing, except that Haviland is probably still puking. Sorry, Haviland! I bet she still looks pretty. I guess I could go look at our own guide to Dinah that was made especially for occasions like this, but somehow that feels silly.
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8:39 PM — Laneia: This is where we used to be. Leaving las Vegas was playing, too! Even tho we weren’t leaving Vegas, I think you’ll agree that was pretty special.
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8:21 PM — Sarah: We just put on the ovarian sing-along playlist.
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8:19 PM — Sarah: It just took me 15 minutes to pump gas cause this car is weird! There is an American flag the size of a trailer at this rest stop.
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8:14 PM — Riese We are in the car stuck in traffic motherfuckers. Haviland is barfing soup and she was our ride so that was neat, also I’m sad cuz I wanted her to come. Brooke is there, taylor and kelsey just got in, I keep eating so I hope no one else was serious about dieting for dinah shore. We didn’t have time to get me any white pants. We just found a classic rock station, I like it
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7:13 PM — No word from Taylor&Kelsey. I have no idea if they have found anyone else. I wish I could coordinate this from above somehow, like there could be a news channel that was just LesbianWatch at 11 and a helicopter could fly above Dinah so we could figure this shit out. “Taylor! Move two blocks north and then look behind the girl with the keyhole bikini bottom! There’s Brooke!”
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6:36 PM — All is clear now! Laneia: We’re leaving phx on the 10 listening to Don Henley and Whitesnake! Had to deflate one of the shark fins so Sarah could see in the rear view!
Is #desertstraddle2010 trending yet? If not, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough.
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6:30 PM — Brooke: I clearly need more passes.
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5:36 PM — Sarah may or may not be being eaten by sharks
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4:31 PM – Taylor just asked me to give her the rest of the team’s phone numbers because she and Kelsey are arriving in Palm Springs and can’t find anyone. We are like a well-oiled machine. Or well-oiled oil-wrestling lesbians. Either one.
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4:05 PM — Brooke has something important to share with us all, namely this hot hot hot ad in the Club Skirts program:
GET IT? THAT’S US THAT’S OUR AD.
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3:41 PM — Brooke had the presence of mind to take “before” pictures, because probs Palm Springs will never look this pristine again after 10,000 lesbians sweat and vomit on it. Here’s the pool at the Renaissance Hotel slash Girlbar, and Club Skirts at the Hilton:
Predicted After photo:
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2:00 PM — In solidarity with Dinahgoers everywhere, I wore shorts today b/c it’s like 65 in Boston. By the end of the day I may be pantsless and drinking margaritas. Also in solidarity, obvs.
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1:30 PM — Autostraddlers are in motion! Laneia and Sarah are in the desert, ridin’ dirty and probs tripping balls like in Fear and Loathing, and I think Taylor and Kelsey are on a plane. Or just got off a plane! Check it out! Maybe we can make #desertstraddle a trending topic by the time #desertstraddle2010 is over.
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12:30 PM — Oh hey guys, today is the day! It’s all happening now! Are you excited? I’m excited. We are on the verge of Palm Springs Lesbian Spring Breakstraddle 2010, and everyone is converging on Palm Springs from all over the globe except Brooke who is already there. Look, here is a graphic mapping everyone’s approximate current location! Sarah and Laneia are in the desert, and Jess, Tess, Robin, Carly and Nat are AWOL, aka I do not know where they are. I just realized it’s wrong b/c Palm Springs is not in FL, but I’m not changing it now.
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3:58AM — Riese: It’s almost 4 AM. I think I am halfway done with everything I needed to do which means I’m doing slightly better than anticipated. In other news, Haviland has been vomiting for the last 24 hours, and she’s our ride to Dinah Shore. And also my best friend so I am overall concerned for her well-being.
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2:00 AM — Taylor: My main feeling right now is WTF KELSEY AND I HAVE TO STAY UP TIL 530 am to catch our flight from NYC.
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12:00 AM — DINAH DINAH DINAH it’s happening now! Are you ready? We’re not ready. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is “why are we doing this” and 10 is “I’m not packed yet,” I’d say most of us are at a 6. 6 is “why won’t they let me bring my vodka tonic on the plane.” I personally am at a 4, which is “on my couch, at home, not going to Dinah, and also I don’t have a drink.” Wheeee!
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VIDEO: Dani Campbell Does Miami, With Pam Grier & Rea Carey
This year, lesbian heartthrob, activist and all-around stand-up gal Dani Campbell took Autostraddle.com with her to The Gay & Lesbian Task Force’s 2010 Winter Party Festival in Miami Beach, Florida. The Festival is an annual event that involves political activism, the beach, crazysexycool dance parties & famous DJs, bajillions of homogays, lots of muscled dudes in speedos, Grey Goose vodka, lady-jazz brunches, art shows and esteemed special guests. Launched in 1994, the Winter Party was supposed to be a one-time charity dance event, but everyone had so much fun that they were like HAY GIRL Let’s do this next year!! and then they did. And so on!
Over 10,000 people showed up this year to raise money for the Task Force and other Miami-Dade LGBT service organizations.
WPF 2010 Dot Fifty One Art Party photo by Dale Stine
At the Women’s Art Exhibition at Dot Fifty-One, Dani caught up with Pam Grier, who you know best as Kit Porter from The L Word but the rest of the world knows best as Foxy Brown. They talked about the strength of womanhood, Pam’s upcoming memoir Foxy, how The L Word changed her life and where she got her foxiness from. Because Dani has decided to become a super-activist and we are here to help her on that journey of social change! And Love!, she got some tips from the expert; Rea Carey, Executive Director of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force. We couldn’t get the whole interview on the video so we printed it for you below! Aren’t we nice!
You know how in all those L Word Behind-the-Scenes interviews, every single cast member would always say one of their favorite parts of doing the show was being able to work with Pam Grier? It’s because she’s F*CKING AWESOME. Also awesome? Our girl Dani and superstar Nacho lover Rea Carey, who is also funny. Brooke was filming, she had no idea what she was doing, but you know what they say in Boiler Room, ‘Act As If.’
PAX East 2010: We Survived, Rejoice!
Whew! Intrepid Video Assistant Kelsey and myself just returned from Pax East 2010 in Boston. PAX (Penny Arcade Expo) is a mega gaming convention put on by the creators of Penny Arcade, my #1 web comic love affair. PAX goes down annually on the West Coast and (lucky for us) this is the first year the con graced us eastern seaboarders with its presence.
It was an intense weekend, and we feel pretty intensely disgusting and weary from traveling by bus all plebian-like, but before you know it we’ll be comin’ at ya with a bunch of illuminating/titillating PAX East 2010 coverage! Because, while may have thrown back quite a few bloody marys in Boston, that wasn’t all we did: we previewed a lot of eyegasm-inducing 3D gaming, spoke to the creators of Penny Arcade and even ate clam chowder!
And, perhaps best of all, we got to visit (invade the home of) Editorial Assistant and all around Extraordinary Human Being Rachel. So yeah, PAX East news, footage and general zaniness comin’ at ya!
In the meantime, Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd- chowdah chowdah chowdah!
How to Road Trip Right: Music & Feelings For Long-Distance Driving
Hey, I don’t know if you’ve heard / had your retinas burned off with our banner ads yet, but Autostraddle is making the pilgrimage to Palm Springs for Dinah Shore next week! While most of us are flying to California in aeroplanes, Associate Editor Sarah F*cking P*lmer and I will be turning this into a road trip, and we are super excited! Who doesn’t love a road trip?!! A**holes, that’s who, and we are NOT a**holes.
We’re hoping this adventure falls somewhere snugly between Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas and Crossroads, with a hearty dash of The Muppet Movie and Elizabethtown (don’t judge us). Did you know that a trip through the desert has been Sarah’s #1 Feeling since forever-ever? It’s true. So she’s flying into Phoenix, we’re gonna rent a car, load up the inflatable shark and our cowboy hats, and head westbound on I-10!
The Car
What kind of cars are good for road trips? Well, hybrids are, probably. But guess what: we are selfish, superficial jerks, and we decided we needed a convertible. There’s no way we’re driving through the desert in a car with a roof. And so help me, if it rains, we’re donning ponchos. There will be no roof, Autostraddlers. NO ROOF ‘TIL PALM SPRINGS.
SXSW 2010 Captain’s Log #4: Because I Got High
Ladies and… ladies of Autostraddle, it’s time for a confession: on the last day of SXSW, I didn’t go to any shows. I have a laundry list of excuses. Here’s some of the ones I feel like sharing:
1. Despite the previous day’s gorgeous summer breeze, it was freezing cold and very windy on Saturday. I hadn’t packed for less-than-perfect weather, and all the big shows that day took place at outdoor venues.
2. All the daytime gigs I wanted to see had lines down the street and around the block by the time I got there.
3. I had access to a cute girl with a car who wanted to take me to see The Runaways movie.
This is not to say I abandoned my responsibilities to you. For every hour I spent in Austin, I had a full schedule loaded with at least three options for every hour, and determined which shows I actually would attend with mathematical precision. I had spent many hours researching and whittling down this schedule, and thus I am ready now to present to you all the bands I would have seen, had I been physically and mentally prepared to do so.
Presenting: The Top 10 Bands I Totally Wanted To See But Missed. Now with cartoons!
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10. Miss Li: for fans of dancing alone in your bedroom and singing into a hairbrush.
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When I first saw Miss Li listed on the SXSW calendar, I assumed this was a strangely formal way of telling me that Lykke Li would be back this year. Although they are both young Swedish singers with rather sweet singing voices, I was incorrect. Miss Li (real name Linda Carlsson) is a particularly adorable new singer whose music is a mix of jazz, cabaret, blues and sweet indie rock’n’roll – a fresh sound made up of many well-known genres. You probably know who she is because her song “Bourgeois Shangri-La” was used in an iPod Nano commercial. I know who she is because I’m a sucker for Swedish pop singers. Check out this insanely cute video for “Dancing the Whole Way Home” if you don’t believe me:
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9. Neon Indian/Neon Trees: for fans of chirpy synthesizers, previous fans of bands called Gold/Deer/Black/Crystal/Bear anything
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It’s so hard when a bunch of hype bands have really similar names, and I can never remember which one of these is the band I actually like. Upon further inspection, it turns out Neon Indian are the guys with the electro-psychedelic songs called things like “Should Have Taken Acid With You” and “Terminally Chill,” so take that for what it’s worth. Neon Trees are a catchy-if-a-little-generic pop band who’ve opened for the Killers and have cute hair. Both of these bands have male lead singers and female musicians, which is a plus.
Don’t make this mistake:
8. Cruel Black Dove: for fans of Depeche Mode, PJ Harvey
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I have a feeling Cruel Black Dove are really tired of people telling them they sound like an electronic PJ Harvey side project, but they really do – and it’s fantastic. I also have a soft spot for this Brooklyn band because they appear to have been named after the tracklisting to Tori Amos’ album From The Choirgirl Hotel. Check out this video for “Love Song.” (more…)
SXSW Captain’s Log #3: Courtney Love and Smokey Robinson Make Dreams Come True
Day 3 of SXSW was a tough one, because it’s so difficult to budget time. On the one hand, the purpose of being here is to see as many new bands as possible, but on the other hand there are incredible major artists performing in small venues all the time. If I had a third hand, it would be drunk and making out with strangers. There was just not enough time to be everywhere I wanted to be.
My first stop was Red Eyed Fly, where a psychedelic indie band called Darker My Love were playing. I first saw those guys when they opened for the Dandy Warhols in New York, and knew I’d really enjoyed their huge, noisy pop songs. I also remembered somewhere in the back of my mind that Andy Granelli from the Distillers had been their drummer, which was an added bonus. However, it had been two years, and Andy Granelli is no longer a part of the band – and it turns out that my Roky Erickson experience Wednesday afternoon was not an isolated incident. I just cannot begin my day properly with psychedelic rock bands. They make me cranky. Perhaps tomorrow I will start my day with a nutritious breakfast instead.
Darker My Love sounded great, and the vocal harmonies were just lovely, but I was anxious about the main event of the day…
Coming for you, @CourtneyLoveUK.
Without getting into it too much, I should note that I have a history with Courtney Love. Last autumn I started a Twitter account called @CLTranslated to help translate the internet ramblings of Courtney Love into plain English for the rest of the world. It got a lot of attention from various major publications around the world, from the Guardian to the Village Voice (2009 Best Of issue!) to an interview in SPIN. It was EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that I attend Hole‘s first American concert in about ten thousand years. Unfortunately, there was a guest list issue, and I ended up arguing with the women at the door. I’ve spent years working the guest list at clubs all over New York City, and I would have found my entitled attitude totally insufferable, but there I was. I needed to see this show.
SXSW Survival Tip #4: Don’t be a dick. The people working at these clubs are already stressed enough.
While I was waiting to get sorted out, a band across the street from Stubb’s were playing “Please Mr. Postman,” one of the best songs ever. Just saying. (more…)
SXSW Captain’s Log #2: Kid Sister, Duchess Says, Ukuleles & Random Acts of Rock ‘n Roll
Good morning/afternoon/evening, my darlings. I apologise for the lateness of this post, but yesterday was a very full day and if not for the glorious Red Bull truck circling the premises, we would surely be dead by now. What were you up to yesterday? I saw bands! Let’s get to it!
i. Kid Sister & Me
Thursday morning, I scraped myself out of bed with one mission in mind: to finally see Kid Sister after three years and about eight or nine failed attempts. For those of you who haven’t heard her, Kid Sister is Melisa Young, a Chicago-based rapper who rhymes over electro beats. She’s best known for her single “Pro Nails” featuring Kanye West:
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Anyway, I’ve loved Kid Sister for years but every time I’ve tried to see her (ie, last night) I’ve been thwarted somehow. I arrived at the outdoor stage early, and was pleased to see that a decent-sized crowd had the same idea. I even spotted British synthesizer chanteuse Little Boots lurking around, commenting loudly to a friend how grateful she was to not be playing 45 times a day like last year. When our hero finally took the stage, she announced “Hello Austin! It is EARLY AS HELL!” Despite it being the crack of dawn (um, a little after 2 PM) and the blazing hot sun beating down upon the stage, Kid Sister gave her performance everything she had. Also, she was wearing possibly the world’s most adorable outfit:
Can’t see her toes, but they’re probably done up much like her fingernails.
The set was energetic enough for us to forget our hangovers, and we were treated to almost every song off Kid Sister‘s debut album Ultraviolet. The highlight for me was “Big n Bad,” which samples Yaz’s “Situation.” At the end of her set, she and her DJ threw lollipops into the crowd, potentially blinding dozens of hip concertgoers. Because I love you, here is Kid Sister’s single “Right Hand Hi.”
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ii. I Find My People at the Ukulele Festival
My next trip was to Jaime’s Spanish Food, where a ukulele festival of sorts was taking place on the patio. The mission of the two-day event was to play every single Beatles song on the uke, with the assistance of various guest vocalists and backing instrumentalists. I am a fan of anything that can be done with the ukulele (ie, I sit at home playing Lady Gaga songs all day and night, much to the chagrin of my housemates), so I stuck around for a few performances. Here is a kid I estimate to be about 11 playing the cello and singing a Beatles song I shamefully do not know the name of:
Anyway the important factor here is that somehow I ended up sitting at a table at the restaurant inside, talking to Nigel Harrison from Blondie while he ate a taco salad. He was very nice, but the conversation was very strange. I was wearing a Stooges t-shirt, and Mr. Harrison told me about the days when he used to play with Iggy (“I call him Jim, of course.”) and how Iggy would slice his chest up with razors on stage. I mentioned that I was a huge fan of everything Joan Jett has ever done, and he casually dropped that he’d played bass on a Runways record. These things are all true (I know because I snuck off to the bathroom and Googled them), but I had nothing constructive to add. SXSW, you are so random and amazing. I love you. Let’s make out.
iii. A-Claud Moves Members of the Audience Around,
Poses Them As if They Are Furniture
I stopped at Club DeVille for about thirty seconds to catch three songs of Vivian Girls‘ set. Everybody loves Vivian Girls! Do you like the Vivian Girls? It was very crowded! Here they are:
Next on the agenda was a French Canadian party on the upper level of the Paradise. I was there to see one of my first unexpected SXSW discoveries, a Montreal band called Duchess Says. Sonically, they’re what would happen if the Yeah Yeah Yeahs never wrote melodic love songs and focused instead on making dissonant noise (in fact, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs took them out on a European tour after Nick Zinner spotted them at last year’s CMJ Music Marathon in New York). Singer A-Claude is notorious for getting the crowd involved in the band’s performances, and she’ll climb sound equipment, barstools or actual members of the audience to make her point. When the boys in the band finally took the stage, the kids in the crowd gave A-Claude a wide berth to do what she does best.
A-Claude didn’t disappoint us for a second. She moved members of the audience around and posed them as though they were furniture. She climbed on top of a table, played with the table cloth, brought a girl up to dance, and then dragged both the girl and the table into the center of the room. At one point, she unlocked a door to the patio and instructed everyone in the room to exit the performance space one by one. We obliged. I have never seen a band make its audience leave the show before, but we all snuck back in through another open door. When she shouted “EVERYONE! We all need to lie down!” we did as we were told.
If I’ll lie on the floor of a bar for you, you’ve gotta be good.
Nobody ever really watches the boys in the band while A-Claude is bossing the room around, but I enjoyed watching them for a few songs. I was surprised to notice that the guy on the Moog plays most of the basslines, while the bass player seemed to play parts I would have assumed were keyboards. I sort of hope Duchess Says stay small, because I always want to see them in tiny rooms and examine them from every possible angle. Their set was completely entertaining. (more…)
SXSW 2010 Captain’s Log #1: Hipster Spring Break Begins
Last year when Autostraddle was only two weeks old, our dear music lover Stef reported live from SXSW for you, and well, you really liked it so you will all be happy to know that Stef is back for SXSW 2010: The Captain’s Log! Live from Austin, Texas, South by Southwest 2010!
Once a year, the music industry gathers from the far corners of the universe to convene in the Live Music Capital of the Universe, sunny Austin, Texas. This event, known as South by Southwest or SXSW for short, is part festival, part showcase, part seminar and many parts ridiculous. The purpose of SXSW is essentially threefold:
1. to discuss new ideas and approaches in various fields of music, from digital distribution to marketing to artist management
2. to showcase new artists and figure out who will be the hot ticket for the upcoming year
3. SPRING BREEEEAAAAAKKKKK!!
As a depraved human being who eats, breathes and lives for rock’n’roll, SXSW has historically been mostly the latter for me. This is my third consecutive year, and each time I find my mission statement focuses slightly less on discovering new music obsessions and slightly more on locating the open bars and making out with cute strangers. That said, this year’s schedule is full of absolutely amazing acts and I’m ready to experience as many of them as possible and share the experience with you, just as I did last year.
i. Lap of Luxury/Back of the Venue
On Wednesday I arrived in Austin feeling a bit frazzled from my 6 AM flight. I met up with my darling friends Jill and Mildred, and thus began our great Texan adventure. After discovering we had accidentally checked into a really swanky hotel complete with a king-sized sleep number bed (hello ladies), we took off almost immediately for the first act of the day, Roky Erickson with Okkerville River at the Galaxy Room. Roky’s hardly a new act – as the brainchild behind the 13th Floor Elevators, Roky was hugely influential on psychedelic rock in the late 1960s – but we figured it would be a mellow start to our day.
SXSW Survival Tip #1: If an amazing artist’s super-intimate set sounds too good to be true, guess what? It also sounded that way to like ten thousand other people who also enjoy that band. Roky sounded great, but we couldn’t see a damn thing. (more…)
GLAAD Awards 2010 Red Carpet, NYC: Robin Shoots!
The GLAAD Awards took place in New York City on Saturday night, and Robin and Taylor went out into the blustery day to capture the event. Taylor has some interviews with maintenance men which perhaps she will share with you soon.
In the meantime, check out the fantastic red carpet photos by Robin Roemer for Autostraddle.
Vogue Evolution
Sandra Bernhard
Cynthia Nixon
Cynthia Nixon won the Vito Russel award, presented to an openly lesbian or gay member of the entertainment or media community for outstanding contributions toward eliminating homophobia. Here’s Cynthia at a New York City Gay Marriage Rally in 2009:
Audiostraddle’s 2010 Music Festival Survival Guide
Aside from the $10 bottles of water, 100-degree middle-of-the-desert heat and the worst ‘bathrooms’ on the planet; music festivals are hands-down amazing. You can catch all your favorite artists in the same place, hang out on blankets with old friends, make new friends, and drink a lot!
There are approximately thirty music festivals that will be showcasing music’s best and brightest talent around the USA this year. Leveraging my extensive experience as a music festival attendee, I’ve put together a survival guide to this year’s biggest: SXSW, Bonnaroo, Coachella, Lilith Fair, Lollapalooza, and Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival.
Whether you’re a first timer who’s popping your festival cherry or a festival crusader, this guide will help you navigate the music fest’s muddy waters and tip you off to some of the artists that we think you should really check out this year.
South By Southwest
March 17 – 22 // Austin, TX
I’ve been attending SxSW since 2004. It’s one of the largest music festivals in the world and follows a Film and Interactive Festival. Fun fact: Twitter was invented for SXSW indie hipsters to keep in touch with each other during the festival! Neat huh?
Literally thousands of bands descend on Austin each year to showcase. For musicians, it’s the holy grail of festivals, the place where new artists are scouted out and signed up to record labels. Austin’s famous 6th Street closes down to accommodate the unimaginable number of fans and music industry folks rushing from venue to venue ’til 4am. The weather is temperate and the venues are all small so you really get up close with bands you wouldn’t be able to in other places. This festival is for the fans.
Next weekend our SxSW warrior Stef will be start bringing us daily reports from the festival. To get a taste, check out her highly entertaining SxSW Captain’s Log from last year.
Also check out Uh Huh… Her?, the winning film from the 2008 Uh Huh Her SXSW Video Contest which just so happens to feature Autostraddle’s Riese and Crystal.
MUST-SEE BANDS & ARTISTS
Wednesday, March 17th:Jenny Owens Young, Melissa Ferrick, Melissa Auf Der Maur, Hesta Prynn, Das Racist, Abe Vigoda, Andrew WK, Fitz and The Tantrums, Paul Wall & Chamillionaire, Suzanne Vega, Spoon
Thursday, March 18th: Chris Pureka, Eisley, Nico Stai, Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings, Grace Potter and The Nocturnals, Stone Temple Pilots, MEN, She & Him, Marina & The Diamonds, The xx, Tom Freund, The Soft Pack, Sondre Leche, The Crystal Method, Rogue Wave, Melissa Ferrick, First Aid Kit, Broken Social Scene, DJ Taryn Manning.
Friday, March 19th: Cheap Trick, Smokey Robinson, Band Of Skulls, Girl In A Coma, Holly Miranda, Ra Ra Riot, Theophilus London, Hole, Sum 41, Dengue Fever, An Horse, Broken Social Scene, Metric, Dum Dum Girls, Rye Rye.
Saturday, March 20th: Daedelus, Bowling For Soup, The Watson Twins, Margaret Cho, Japandroids, The Laughing, Macy Gray, The Drums.
Sunday, March 21st: Set Aflame and Silver Starling.
SURVIVAL TIPS
Plan, plan plan: timetables are time consuming and also a little nerdy, but for SXSW a schedule is a must. There is so much happening at the one time and so if you’re across it, you’re going to miss your favorite acts.
Location: THE place to stay in Austin is along South Congress [SOCO]. I recommend Hotel San Jose, which has a great location and reasonable rates, and is comfortably alluring without being pretentious. (more…)
Oscars Live-Blog: 82nd Annual Academy Awards Open Thread
Hello and welcome to Autostraddle’s Live-Blog of the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. This live-blog occurs in the grand tradition of former live-blogs, which we do for you because we don’t have any friends IRL, or else we live in NYC where traveling to see our friends costs $2 more than we have.
Previous breathtaking liveblogs have included New York Senate Hearings on Gay Marriage, New Jersey Committee Voting on Same-Sex Marriage, Maine & Washington Gay Marriage Election Day, the Glee Premiere and last year’s L.A. Glaad Awards.
Let’s get this out of the way: creating Autostraddle has been very educational. Like for example we never really cared much about Award Shows before. So we prelude this with the warning that we are not experts.
You can read our picks for the best movies of 2010 at the bottom of the post.
Oscars Live-Blog Starts Now!
12:05 AM: Here’s a roundup of the winners tonight:
Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Basterds
Best Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique, Precious
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Best Animated Feature Film: Up
Best Documentary: The Cove
Best Original Score: Up
Best Original Song: “The Weary Kind” from Crazy Heart
That’s a wrap. Have a great night everyone!
MIDNIGHT – HURT LOCKER HURT LOCKER HURT LOCKER
YAY FOR IT NOT BEING JAMES CAMERON! AND YAY FOR THE LADY!
11:55 PM: A LADY WON! IT’S A LADY!
11:53 PM: First woman or first African-American, it’s like the Democratic Primaries in here for Best Director.
11:49 PM: Sandra Bullock wins Best Actress for Miss Congeniality, I mean The Blind Side! Ooh, she just gave a shout-out to sexual orientation! Almost sounded like she said “my lover, Meryl Streep,” which would’ve been hot.
Speaking of lesbians:
11:41 PM: All the cool kids are going to the parties.
Elton John’s party, an AIDS fundraiser, is cool:
11:39 PM: Best Actress nominees! WordPress just basically stopped working on my computer, I think.
11:26 PM: Michelle Pfieffer on Jeff Bridges. Julianne Moore on Colin Firth. Someone else on George Clooney. Tim Robbins on Morgan Freeman. Jeff Bridges wins for Big Lebwoski!
11: 25 PM: They’re doing the weird thing where the people stand up there and tell weird awkward stories again. I wonder if this is fun for the people who are there, ’cause this is like their friends and stuff, and we’re just like watching. Like we’re watching their party?
11:20 PM: A lot of time has passed
11:09 PM: There are only two parts Keanu Reeves should ever play:
1. Neo
2. Theadore Logan of “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”
11:06 PM: This humor is getting geriatric! Haha, oh, do they read the same job descriptions every year? You know no one broadcasts our company picnic. One time, we had an Autostraddle picnic where because of budget constraints, eight of us ate from two gigantic bags of McDonald’s french-fries? True story.
Oh, something just won. Best Editing for The Hurt Locker, to two adorable geeky people.
Haha, Jezebel has the many faces of George Clooney:
11:03 PM: Do you ever forget that Matt Damon the Action Guy is the same guy who wrote Good Will Hunting? Sometimes when I get older, age almost seems like a big enough thing to have in common with somebody. So much changes in a year. Honestly. Think about where you were last year when you decided to maybe just turn off The Oscars and read the paper in the morning to see who won Best Picture, which you will inevitably respond to with a shrug?
11:00 PM: That Modern Family promo was the highlight of the evening.
10:55 PM: Avatar for Best um, directing I think? Don’t quote me on that just yet. “Jim” is the new “Marty.” My number one feeling when I see James Cameron is “Ew. Ew. UM. EW!” is that weird?
10:50 PM: See James Cameron, here’s proof it would have been better with humans. Not BIGGER, but better, and you know bigger isn’t always better. Trust people to see what you see, if it’s worth seeing!
10:45 PM: Oh, thank the lawd. Dancing.
Best Cinematography: Mauro Fiore for Avatar.
Best Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker.
Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker.
Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria.
10:40 PM: OMG James Taylor. Has been making me cry since 1984.
Brittany Murphy. Michael Jackson. Natasha Richardson. I’m still kinda sad about Brittany Murphy.
10:40 PM: Death montage of learning time
10:37 PM: Charlize Theron is also bored
10:35 PM: Sandra Bullock doesn’t get a montage, she just has to read that shit and put the emotions into the words. Winner is Avatar for cinematographer.
10:29 PM: John Travolta is on the stage.
10:26 PM: I can’t believe they cut the f*cking musical numbers! Legit pissed. That was some lady making out just then, was it? I dunno what just happened, maybe it was a hug. Hurt Locker just won something. Oh, sound mixing.
10:23 PM: OMG, is this their apology for not nominating The Dark Knight last year? Keep in mind I only know this ’cause I read an article in New York Magazine about it, not b/c I have seen any of these movies.
10:22 PM: Zac Efron is aging out of his boi stage.
10:20 PM: NO ONE WARNED ME THERE WOULD BE SCARY MOVIES. Oh the misogyny! It’s raining women!
10:19 PM: Kristen Stewart and that guy give an intro to a tribute to Horror.
10:16 PM : Durrrr. Best Makeup: Star Trek. Best Art Direction went to Avatar. Now they are doing Paranormal Activity, how weird obvi for sure they are watching Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office.
10:09 PM: Costume Design. Lady Gaga wins! I mean… who knew there were so many like period films this year? You know what movie I really like? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Someone just won a directing award for something. Art direction I think.
10:06 PM: I wonder if Law & Order is on somewhere. I have work to do! Production Design. For Avatar. Couldn’t they have done that privately. Get a room, Avatar! You can come all over yourself!
10:05 PM: I predict Taylor Swift will sweep the rest of the evening. She’s the Queen of the World!
10:01 PM: OK Mo’Nique & her husband are the new cutest strai couple ever, sorry Brad & Ang you didn’t show up and sorry Jim and Pam you are not real.
10:00 PM: Obvi! I hope she has a speech with lots of feelings! Mo’Nique for best supporting actress of the universe. She wins 10 points. Actually her interview earlier with Barabara Walters was amazing.
9:56 PM: Best Actress award. I love Maggie Gyllenhall and that’s not just because I am one degree removed from someone who had sex with her, and therefore feel somehow involved with her. Oh this is the Mo’nique Award!
9:52 PM: What if Queen Latifah just came out right now? Just for funsies?
9:50 PM: Jefferey Fletcher, who adapted the novel Pull by Ruby, wins the award! I like it when people adapt novels. When I worked at a literary agency, people were always sending us novels that they pitched as being good ideas to turn into movies. Like then just write a screenplay, you know?
“Precious boys and girls everywhere, all the cast & crew, anyone who’s kept believing in me. My two brothers who supported me in every way. My role models, my heroes, my mother Betty, angel of my world. My father Alphonse. I spent so much time with us and taught us everything. I’m sorry I’m drawing a blank right now, I thank everyone.”
He said that really breathlessly, so I liked it.
9:48 PM: Adapted Screenplay Award presented by Jake Gyllenhal and someone else. Huh, who knew that Precious was based on the novel Push by Sapphire. I did not.
9: 45 PM: Okay, all the movies that were nominated this year except for Precious is about dudes. Right? Maybe that’s why it’s like blah blah blah.
9:39 PM: OMG, Julie Goldman did it first, the Avatar song. Ben Stiller must have seen Gayvatar for real!
9:36 PM: Ok catch up time!
Best Short Film (Animated). The 2010 winner was Logorama by Nicolas Schmerkin.
Best Short Film (Documentary). That award went to Music by Prudence by Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett.
Best Original Screenplay. Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker.
Best Original Song in a feature film.The Weary Kind from Crazy Heart.
Best Animated Feature Film, Up.
Best Supporting Actor – Christoph Watlz from Inglourious Basterds.
9:35 PM: Was that awesome or totally weird? Diane Sorvino moment or Fiona Apple moment?
9:34 PM: Is he gay? WHO IS THAT WOMAN? WHO IS SHE TELL ME NOW
9:30 PM: Where do short films thrive? Like, where can you catch a short film on accident without really deliberately seeking out that short film specifically?
9:30 PM: They’re explaining to us why we are supposed to care about short films. I hope Whoopi hasn’t wet her pants.
9:28 PM: SO WEIRD, Zoe Saldana and Casey Mulligan or whatever, what’s her name, they are also wearing similarly conceived dresses, just like Miley and Amanda. Maybe they’re all doing twinsies on purpose. Aw, these girls. Killing me. Dying.
9:25 PM: The Homosexual Twitter says:
9:23: No really. All of these movies feel so familiar to me — literally everything John Hughes did, even Home Alone for Chrissake. But these movies tonight just feel so… HUGE. So far away from me, or else so unspeakably tragic & sad. Nothing bearable and sometimes sweet and close. I guess I don’t go to the movies to escape, I go to find something.
9:22 PM: Duckie is the only thing I can ever handle Jon Cryer doing. EVER.
9:21 PM OSAMGJAJAKSGJAKSJA’KLFJA’JFAKLGJKLAJGA’ISD REUNION OF MY LIFE i need to lay off the all caps, sorry
9:19 PM: So weird, they played this song in Skins today too, I know this march is true. omg, I HAVE SEEN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE MOVIES. See, every one! I’m not against movies, they just don’t make movies like this anymore. The Breakfast Club has not been topped. IMO. Not even IMHO.
9:17 PM: Claire. OMG JOHN HUGHES TRIBUTE. PARDON ME WHILE I DO SOME FUCKING MOURNER’S KADDISH.
9:15 PM: The Hurt Locker wins for best writing. Doesn’t that sound like a snuff film to anyone else? I’m so glad Tina Fey read that shit out loud, I would not have been able to follow. I mean most Americans can’t even read you know.
9:13 PM: OMG I have had that thought before! That one day movies will star computer graphics people!
9:12 PM: Robert Downey Junior is very Less Than Zero tonight. Is Tina Fey making you wet your pants? Everything feels like an inside joke.
9:05 PM: Someone won something, I think that person’s name was Filet. I MEAN T-BONE.
9:02 PM: Miley Cirus & Amanda Seyfried – they should’ve coordinated to not both wear poofy dresses ’cause that is gonna make it hard to cuddle later. Miley Cirus, when did that chick get famous? Also, does this mean we’re not gonna have the musical performances of the songs during the show? B/c if so I might seriously stop this live-blog right now and just listen to the GLEE! Soundtrack and edit videos.
9:00 PM: SURPRISE! Up! which is the only movie that a significant number of Autostraddlers have actually seen won for Best Animated Film. I wanted Coraline to win. B/c of Amanda Palmer. The guy who made UP also has a wife named Amanda, and so when I heard him say “Amanda,” I was like OMG! And looked up at the teevee, but that was not Amanda Palmer.
8:56 PM: Cameron Diaz & Steve Carrell presenting: “When you’re as good-looking as Cameron & I, it’s a shame to appear in movies where people can’t see your faces…. or bodies.”
8:55 PM: “Everyone wants to go to bed with Jimmy!” Hahaha gay people!
8:48 PM: Christoph Waltz says that Quentin Tarantino took a ship with flying colors across the ocean. Gay! Inglorious Basterds! Well only one person we haven’t heard of can win in a night I think.
8:43 PM: It’s like we’re on a ship! Sailing through the ocean! Pointing out all the lovely tigers, elephants, Academy Award Nominees and bears as we ride down the Amazon! George Clooney has already been on the Jungle Cruise ten times and would rather not, I feel similarly. Oh good it’s over.
MTE:
8:42 PM: Homosexual Twitter time!
8:36 PM: I feel like we’re at the Yale Club for a reunion with the good ‘ol boys, except Yale is Hollywood, and Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin went to Yale.
8: 33 PM: …and half naked ladies… lots of them! Oh we love a good song-and-dance number.
8:32 PM: Neil Patrick Harris! Let’s start out with a big glittery gay bang, shall we?
8:30 PM: The show is starting, they’re doing that weird thing where they line them up like Miss America, and Gabourey is the only one working it. One last Red Carpet photo:
8:30 PM: Kathy Ireland is standing like I stand when I broke one of my shoes/am drunk.
8:26 PM: Meryl Streep says she likes to see all her friends cleaned up and looking good!
8:23 PM: Kate Winslet is heavenly, Gabourey Sidibe is kickass, Kathy Ireland is SO. WEIRD.
Let’s check in with Homosexual Twitter!
8:22 PM: Miley Cirus still doesn’t know how to stand up straight! It almost makes me like her!
8:21 PM: Tina Fey & Steve Carrell know that it’s not The Emmys because everyone is much better looking.
8:18 PM: Whoopi Goldberg is on the teevee talking about being unable to control her urine. I know it’s not a part of The Oscars, but I have been a Whoopi fan for many years and I find this upsetting.
8:12 PM: What did they talk about at The Oscars when they’d just been invented and they couldn’t constantly be looking back on their decades of greatness?
8:10 PM: Kathy Ireland is speaking like she’s hosting an instructional video for Coldstone Creamery.
8:05 PM: Sherri Shepard. Apparently being grating is a prerequisite for a red carpet position. Here let’s make a gallery for you:
8:00 PM: I prefer her in jeans and a hoodie but DAYUM HELLO KRISTEN STEWART YOU WIN BEST ACTRESS FOR “GENDER PERFORMANCE AT THE OSCARS”/let’s make out
7:52 PM: “Oh I love the Sarsenhaals! And Jake’s there too!” (@bohemea)
7:45 PM: Barbara Walters is doing a retrospective on Sandra Bullock, Queen of Romantic Comedies. Like the entire special. Actually ever since that morning in 2007 on The View when Barbara asked Joy and the ladies if they ate squirrels/that time I went to The View for Rosie’s birthday and saw how visibly frightened Barbara was of the giant birthday cake, I have disliked Barbara unfortunately. I feel like she hasn’t eaten anything since the 80’s. But also realize she is important and monumental w/r/t journalism/women/feminism etc.
7:39 PM: OMG, Ellen Page played her guitar for Barbara Walters in 2008, I should’ve been watching this show ages ago.
7:30 PM: Red-Carpet Catch-Up while Barbara’s retrospective continues, in which she interviews a lot of closeted gay men, sometimes with their wives.
7:24 PM: Barbara Walters interviewed The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in 1991 and when she sees it, she wants to cry. She’s very ungrateful tonight. But I’m loving this 80’s-90’s fashion retrospective.
7:22 PM: I don’t think people are going to like Zoe Saldana’s dress. But look how cute her shoes are!
7:17 PM: I am quitting this live-blog because I am sick of sitting on my bed.
7:16 PM: Barbara Walters is quitting her Oscar Special because she is sick of walking down stairs.
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Personally I haven’t seen a movie in the theaters since MILK in December 2008. Yup! We know we’ve been short on TV/Film coverage thus far this year, partially b/c our new TV/Film editor has disappeared.
So I asked every single member of Team Autostraddle for help regarding the Best Picture Picks, and here’s what we got! Live-blog begins after the jump.
Oscars 2010: Best Picture Nominees
Crystal (Editor, Audiostraddle): I’m not a fan of Sci-fi, which is probs why I fell asleep 30 minutes into watching District 9. Then my gf woke me up and made me watch it again from the start, an act that turned my indifference into full-on dislike. Giant prawns with laser guns don’t really float my boat, but the film’s concept and visual effects were pretty amazing. If this film wins some awards then I think they’ll be well deserved.
Kelsey (Video Assistant): Up plot DID NOT MAKE SENSE except nobody cared because they thought it was cute.
Carlytron (PR): I hated Up. Oh my god, did I hate Up. And I love Pixar, wall-e and nemo are two of my very very favorite movies ever.
1) those dogs COULD NOT fly planes.
2) RACIST.
Intern Emily: i saw up and i really liked it, mostly because i really like computer animation, cute/talking animals, fantasy, and feel good endings.
Laneia (Executive Editor): Oh, hey! wanna cry your face off over a cartoon? hm? then this film was tailor made for your weepy ass. also, glad i didn’t see it in 3-d b/c of all the cliffs and flying and stuff. waaaahhh scary!
Rachel (Ed. Assistant): I heard a lot beforehand about how it made everyone cry and was ‘really dark’ for a ‘kid’s movie,’ but honestly WALL-E made me cry more. Overall it was a cute little thing with beautiful animation and talking animals, and it made me want to have an adventure. I think maybe the nicest thing was the way it seemed to really be ok with alternative family structures – the kid doesn’t have a dead mom or anything like in every single other Disney movie ever, but in the end it’s clear that he and the old dude are pretty much a family or at least bffs, and that’s a pretty nice thing to see in a mainstream movie.
Intern Lily (College Lesbianage): I cried basically throughout all of Up because old people, fat kids, dogs, and animated things make me cry. But I cry during commercials so yeah…
Sam: This Cohen Brothers movie was a bit off the wall for me. I thought the dream sequences were funny and the way that the racist/anti-Semitic neighbors were depicted was also pretty entertaining. The Jewish humor was a good time and the view inside of the jewish family made me smile at points because i saw some of my family in it. I had to watch it twice to really appreciate it but it was worth it.
Sam (Tech Blogger): The tension in this movie is off the charts. I love this movie probably my one of my favorite movies of the whole year. It feels authentic and the story is gripping. It sucks you in. I also enjoyed the fact that it did not use big name actors for the major roles. I am a little biased because I know one of the writers he is a friend of my family However. it is totally my pick for best picture.
Intern Nicole: I am not typically interested in any war-related movies, but I really liked this movie. It was an extremely well done movie in all aspects that surprisingly kept my interest. If a woman director is finally going to win the Oscar for Best Director, it should definitely be Kathryn Bigelow for this movie.
Laneia: Brad Pitt was fucking genius but wow, that was a lot of murder and shit.
Laneia (Exec Editor): I didn’t see this, but it looks like something my mother would really enjoy. like, it looks like it’d be life-changing / affirming for her. you know?
Intern Nicole: For some reason I find it mind boggling that a movie with Tim McGraw in it is nominated for an Oscar. With that said, it was cute, but certainly not Oscar-worthy, even with the ten nominees, in my opinion.
Kelsey: The opening credits/graphics were the best part of the film, by a long shot.
Second, of course was Vera Farmiga – who should be a blonde for the rest of her life so I can fantasize about her. She just looks hotter as a blonde. She had a nude scene during which I died until I learned that it was a body double at which point I denounced the entire film. Maybe this is where my rage comes from?
The saddest part of the failure of Up in the Air is that it really, honestly, could have been a great film. The tone was just way off. The point of the film is isolation, basically. And yet there is just so much shitty writing that interferes with that really warm and comfortable feeling of being alone. If the writing was cut in half and filled instead with sounds that normally accompany an airport, hotel, and other lonely travel places, it would have been spot on.
Also, I don’t think Anna Kendrick was acting. I’m pretty sure that’s just her real persona…except she happens to be caught on film. I think it might be hard for people to know this since this is her “break-out performance.”
Intern Lily: The best movie I saw all year because it was so ridiculously relevant and just awesome. I cried in this movie too.
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An Education
Intern Nicole: Nick Hornby adapted the screenplay for this and it did not disappoint. Plus, English accents.
Jess (Audiostraddle): If nothing else, ‘An Education’ brought back memories of being a smart ass, precocious high school girl. Like Carey Mulligan’s character Jenny, I attended an all-girls school, got straight As, and dreamed of fleeing suburbia for the city. But unlike her, I was neither charmed by older men nor suffered from the urge to pepper all of my conversations with French. All in all, it was a predictable movie minus the nice, pretty bow at the end. Kudos to Carey Mulligan for her performance.