At “Dinner at Shibden Hall,” We Sure Did Dine!
On the evening of April the 25th, a flock of exceptionally hot and important queers assembled at the austere House of the Redeemer on the Upper East Side of New York City to celebrate the premiere of Season Two of HBO’s Gentleman Jack, hosted by Human By Orientation. Believe it or not, we were there and in fact had an exceptionally good time, as I’m sure Anne Lister would’ve wanted for us all.
Autostraddle’s Event Crew: back row – actress Elise Bauman, Riese Bernard, Christina Tucker, Drew Gregory. Front row: novelist Kristen Arnett, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya (Not in the photobooth but also in our crew on Monday night: Anya Richkind, Jourdain Searles and Cora Harrington)
HBO, with light assistance from Autostraddle and our extended network of queer humans doing cool shit in New York City, created an event that celebrated queer community, queer love and queer art.
The festivities began when we started getting ready that afternoon but they officially began when we arrived at the House of the Redeemer at 6pm, at which point I took 45 photographs of Autostraddle writer Drew Gregory and her girlfriend, Lesbian Lifetime Christmas Movie legend Elise Bauman, in front of a Volvo that they did not own. This was followed by another photoshoot of the whole gang in front of a noted courtyard.
Group Photo, L to R: Drew Gregory, Kristen Arnett, Riese Bernard, Christina Tucker, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya and Anya Richkind. Jourdain Searles in the front! /// Other photo: Drew, Elise & a Volvo
Once inside, we enjoyed small appetizers on golden trays and festive beverages also delivered on golden trays while entertained by a gay string quartet!
It was clear from the jump that everybody at this party was very cool.
We immediately beelined for the Photobooth, where a plethora of related costume pieces were available for our direct engagement.
We then traversed a winding stairway, lit with tiny tea lights that none of us knocked over as we ascended into the upper levels of this very cool house!
In the upper chambers we found additional mingling, small-plates-consuming and imbibing, and also we waited to have our chance at doing yet more photography in a place my companions assured me had “great light.” They were not wrong!
Christina Tucker, Drew Gregory, Riese Bernard, Anya Richkind, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya
The photoshoot was consequently interrupted by an announcement that the main event — the screening of Gentleman Jack Season Two Episode One — was about to commence, and we filed into a library that I wish was my own personal library in my own personal mansion!
Once seated we got a rousing introduction to Season 2 with our very special screening of the season’s first episode. We celebrated, together, a delightful romp into mid-19th century lesbian courtship and mental health care, conflicts relating to the distribution and alleged theft of coal from land that belonged to Anne Lister, Anne Lister eating a plum while standing on a scenic vista and remembering hot sex with Ann Walker the night prior, the intricacies of purchasing a spry pony and the ethics of solidifying a subversive lesbian “marriage” by including one another’s lands in their will. This has never come up for me personally, but I am happy for them — we all were!
We laughed and clapped and admired Anne Lister’s exceptional fast walking skills and ended the screening in hot anticipation of two things: Season 2 Episode 2 and dinner.
Earlier in the day we’d been playing “who will be at the event tonight” and Christina had wondered aloud, but certainly not in a serious way, “what if Melissa King is making the dinner.” In the past, Christina has shared a number of feelings about Melissa King in her weekly No Filter column on this website, including “I still have a crush on Melissa King!” (September 2020) and “Weird, My Last Name Translates to ‘Wife of Chef Melissa King!'” (October 2021) and “Two Melissa Kings Is a Dream I Once Had and Well – Never Mind!” (November 2021) so imagine all of our surprises, but especially Christina’s surprise, to hear that indeed MELISSA KING WAS MAKING US DINNER.
As King later explained in her intro to the meal, after marathoning Season One, she’d prepared a multi-course meal inspired by the program — its love of pea soup, its iconic top hat, its short ribs.
We were READY TO EAT.
If I could take a moment for this soup??? It was perhaps the best soup I have ever consumed in my life?
Everybody chatted and laughed and smiled and ate and was gay!
Throughout the meal, in addition to delightful conversation with each other, people we’d just met, and also Cora Harrington (who was in our party but hadn’t arrived yet when we took the group pics, which is too bad because she came in fancy pajamas), we were treated to some delightful gay ballet in period costume:
… as well as the ongoing regalement from the quartet, who inspired singalongs when they broke into orchestral arrangements of hits including Britney Spears’ “Toxic” and “Mamma Mia” and Sia’s “Chandelier” and Lil Nas X’s “Montero.” Although I lament not recording these singalongs for posterity, here are more pictures of us at the event!
The finale of the meal, a Georgian chocolate cake shaped like a top hat, was the best cake I have ever eaten in my life, and also had the unexpected side effect of turning all of our tongues and teeth blue. We had just discovered this when Melissa King came over to talk to us but I think we all did great considering!
In conclusion, a truly incredible and unforgettable night was had by all, and it was so lovely to be in community with so many cool queer people. I mean, even the florist was queer!
Thank you to Human By Orientation for having us! Everybody really ought to tune in to HBO’s Season 2 of Gentleman Jack, now streaming on HBO Max!
The Autostraddle Senior Team Hang on Our A+ Pop-Up Discord is NOW!
And then the pop-up will turn into a pumpkin at 6pm PST!
In honor of our 13th birthday, we’re going to close out the upcoming pop-up with a Senior Staff Hang, a period of a couple hours when the A+ full-time team are here to talk about…anything really! Come talk about cats, about books, about whatever you need!
Instructions for joining the Pop-Up Discord are below in case you need them.
Senior Team Discord Hang: 4pm-6pm PST
Okay, ready to hop in?
Use this invite link or the widget below to join us!
Join Us on the 13th Birthday A+ Pop-Up Discord Server!
It’s finally time!
We’re thrilled to be able to welcome you to our A+ Pop-Up Discord Server this weekend! What makes it a pop-up? It’s the fact that it goes away. We don’t run the server ALL the time, just sometimes for a limited number of days. So, if you want the chance to hang out and meet some fellow A+ members, we recommend hopping on before it turns into a pumpkin! Don’t forget to stop by on Monday to chat with the senior team :)
The Details:
13th Birthday A+ Pop-Up Discord!
Saturday March 19th starting at 11am PST through Monday March 21st at 6pm PST! Login info within this post below.
AND the A+ Discord Senior Staff Hang (chat with Carmen, Riese, Heather, Kayla, Anya, Laneia, and Nicole!)
Monday March 21st from 4pm to 6pm PST on the A+ Pop-Up Discord. Come Hang!
How Do I Get In?
Scroll down to the bottom of this post for the link / join widget. Also, all A+ members can check the A+ e-newsletter on Saturday for an invite. You’ll need to make a Discord account if you don’t have one already.
What’s a Discord?
It’s like Slack or like a chatroom on steroids. It’s a text-based way for us all to chat with each other.
Okay, ready to hop in?
Use this invite link or the widget below to join us!
JOIN US NOW: Come To Our A+ Yellowjackets Virtual Watch-Along!
Hey there champions! (Champions of what? Of highschool soccer? Of being gay? Of generally doing pretty good today? You decide!)
Here in the world of Autostraddle Plus, we’re always trying out things that you might like. We’ve watched Booksmart together, we’ve watched The Princess Switch 3 together, and just this past week, we asked you via a tiny survey if you would come to this very watch-along, and enough of you said YES so we’re doing it! We’re going to watch the finale of the queer 90’s cannibal mystery that has spawned an obsessive following — Yellowjackets — with none other than our resident Yellowjackets recapper and Managing Editor, Kayla!
The Details:
When: Sunday January 16th | 7pm PST, 10pm EST (Discord goes up at 9:50pm EST)
Where: We’re all going to chat together on a super mini A+ Pop-Up Discord Server! The link will appear RIGHT HERE — HERE IS THE LINK — when it’s time! And I will update the time stamp and headline on this post so it’s right on Autostraddle’s Home Page ahead of the event. So just come right back to this post on Autostraddle at 9:50pm EST (7:50pm PST) on January 16th.
What’s a Discord? It’s like a chatroom on steroids, or kind of like a different evolution of Slack. Like if Slack is a bird, Discord is a bat. They both fly and do a lot of the same things but they’re also…different? We’ll be chatting together in a text-based format, essentially. It also allows us to share photos. It’s pretty easy to join and if you want to make a Discord account ahead of time, you totally can. The way it works is you have one account for YOU the person, and then you can join the A+ pop-up server with the link when we put it in this post.
How do I watch Yellowjackets? So, Yellowjackets is a Showtime show. You can watch it if you have their app, if you have their TV channel, or if, like me, you’re watching Showtime through the Hulu add-on. We aren’t able to stream the show for you, so you will have to bring your own viewing situation.
What will the event be like? We’re all going to convene in the Discord about 10 minutes before the episode goes live on Showtime on cable at 10pm EST. We’ll chit, we’ll chat, we’ll share our themed drinks and snacks (MORE ON THAT BELOW) and then we will all do our darndest to hit play at the same time if we’re using the app. Then, we’ll watch WHATEVER IS GOING TO HAPPEN and continue the chat! Maybe this sounds fun to you.
HERE IS A WIDGET SO YOU CAN JOIN:
This Is a Themed Party My Friends and There Are Recipes:
Kayla’s Cocktail Suggestions
The Yellow Jack & Coke
1.5 oz of Jack (or your whiskey of choice)
0.75 oz lemon juice
0.5 oz yellow chartreuse
Cola
Add the whiskey, lemon juice, and yellow chartreuse to a shaker with ice, shake, pour over ice and top with a splash of cola! Feel the buzz buzz buzz!
Smoke & Sting
2 oz mezcal
2 oz citrus juice of your choosing
Water
Hot honey
Club soda (optional)
Dissolve a squirt of hot honey (as much as you want!) in about an ounce of warm water and add to a cocktail shaker with the mezcal, citrus juice, and ice. Shake and pour over ice. Optionally top off with club soda.
The Misty Fucking Quigley Special
2 oz sherry
An entire can of coconut La Croix
Pour ingredients into a highball with ice.
Shauna’s Malibu & Milk
No, I refuse to write a recipe for this or condone it as a choice.
Taissa’s Blood On Your Hands
This is just red wine.
Nicole’s Mocktail Suggestions
Virgin Version of Kayla’s The Misty Fucking Quigley Special
In a highball glass over ice, combine:
1 can of coconut La Croix (or whatever flavor sparkling water you have)
A spoonful of the juice from fancy cherries, or a splash of cranberry juice (your choice)
Stir and garnish with a maraschino cherry. Best drunk while eating a box of chocolates.
Shauna’s Terrible Brunch With Jackie’s Parents Fauxmosas
In a champagne flute, combine:
1 part orange OR orange/mango juice
1 part sparkling water
Doomcoming Punch
3 oz strong hibiscus tea (optional: add lavender to the tea)
1-2 TBSP rosemary simple syrup
Juice of a quarter lime
Tonic water (for the bittersweet flavor of having a mock homecoming in the woods when you cannot make it to your actual homecoming because your plane crashed)
Rosemary sprig for garnish
To make the tea: You are going to want to make this extra strong. So maybe steep it for a half hour ahead of making the drink. Use extra hibiscus when brewing for a bright color. Add the lavender to steep in the last 5-10 minutes. Then remove the tea bags / ball and/or strain the tea.
To make the simple: Take 1 cup white sugar and 1 cup water and a generous amount (about 1 TBSP) of dried rosemary. If you have it, you can use 3 sprigs of fresh rosemary. Put over medium heat while stirring until sugar is fully incorporated and the mixture appears clear. Take off heat and let cool. Strain.
In an old fashioned tumbler, add ice halfway. Top with 3 oz tea concentrate, 1-2 TBSP rosemary simple (or less to make less sweet — you can adjust this to taste), top with tonic water, stir and squeeze juice of one quarter of a lime over top. Garnish with a rosemary sprig or slice of lime.
Kayla’s Snack Suggestions
Mixed jerky charcuterie board (sorry!)
Mixed berries (just ask Akilah if they’re safe first)
Stuffed mushrooms (NOT Misty’s mushrooms)
Pigs in a blanket (tbt the pig head that haunted Taissa)
Rabbit stew (jk)
Mark you calendars and we hope we see you on the 16th!
The October 2021 A+ Pop-Up Discord Server is Now!
A+ Pop-Up October 2021 Discord Server
October 13, 9am PST – October 18, 12pm PST | 18+ | A+ Members
Hello A+ member! What a day it is! It’s a day where we can all hop on the A+ Member Pop-Up Discord Server! We try to do this extra thing during fundraisers as thanks to our A+ members who sustain us all year long and so that new A+ members can meet each other! Thank you so much for hopping on. It’s always a hoot and a half!
But first, I want to make sure you don’t miss our special event! Mark your calenders for the Senior Staff Hang this very Friday October 15th at 5pm PST / 8pm EST. That’s 5pm Los Angeles time if you want to throw it into a time converter. Just be on the server at that time to participate! There’s no scheduled or required topics, it’s not a Q&A, it’s just a very chill, low-key hang with Carmen, Heather, Laneia, Riese, Sarah (and me, but I’m around anyway!). We hope you can make it!
What is a Discord Server?
It’s basically a giant chatroom with multiple channels, labeled by topic. It’s a lot like a Slack! You can log on in your browser, download the desktop app, or even download the app onto your phone!
Why is the server a pop-up?
A couple of reasons! Firstly, it requires an AS team member to moderate it (it’s me, Nicole), which has not been too much of an issue as you all have done an awesome job of being respectful and minding the Code of Conduct (which you need to read when joining!). Still, we don’t have someone who could be the dedicated moderator at this time. It would be A Lot of work!
Secondly, we’ve found that it’s easier on everyone’s calendar AND there is a better chance of meeting folks if we only have the server up for a limited time where everyone is encouraged to hop in! It makes it a lot more fun if we just all agree to do this for a few days and we’re all in there during this time. We’ve had some great unofficial spin-off groups emerge (local servers, and more — Sword Lesbians, anyone?), and believe some folks also took conversations to DMs so they could stay in touch outside of the server.
In other words, the goal of the server is to have fun over the next few days, share your spooky plans, modify favorite recipes, tell each other how handsome everyone’s animal friends are, maybe meet some folks with similar interests and find ways to stay in touch, and then leave with fond memories and new connections. AND even if you’ve been before, we have so many new members, I highly encourage you to stop on by!
How do I join?
You can follow this link or use the widget down below! If new to Discord, I think you’ll need to verify your email to join our server.
Join Us! The A+ Pop-Up Pride Discord Server is Happening Now!
The beloved A+ member Discord Server is returning!
A+ Pop-Up Pride Discord Server | June 26 9am PST – June 28 3pm PST | 18+ | A+ Members
Meet other A+ members from all over the world and maybe nearby to you, too! Talk about everything from tarot to music to houseplants, post a lex-style personals ad, or just hang out. The server only shows up sometimes, for a limited time, so hop on and enjoy it while you’re here!
Booksmart Watch-a-Long
Autostraddle writer Kayla Upadhyaya will host a Booksmart watch-a-long in the A+ Pop-Up Discord Server on Sunday June 27 at 3pm PST / 6pm EST. All you have to do to join her and A+ members in a live watch-a-long chat is 1) Be an A+ Member 2) Join the Discord Server this weekend and make sure you’re there at 3pm PST in the Booksmart channel! And 3) watch the movie at the same time as everyone else! Booksmart is currently available on Hulu. (Or platform of your choice — maybe you have the DVD, you do you!) We hope to see you there! Discord veterans may know that there is a voice channel option for watch-a-longs, but we are in fact using a text channel because here at Autostraddle, we are very into typing our feelings! We hope you will type yours, too!
What is a Discord Server?
It’s basically a giant chatroom with multiple channels, labeled by topic. The “pets” channel is always a huge seratonin rush and I am looking forward to how the gardening channel will do at this time of year!
Why is the server a pop-up?
A couple of reasons! Firstly, it requires an AS team member to moderate it (it’s me, Nicole), which has not been too much of an issue as you all have done an awesome job of being respectful and minding the Code of Conduct. Still, we wouldn’t want to leave it unmonitored for very long, and we don’t have someone who could be the dedicated moderator.
Secondly, we’ve found that it’s easier on everyone’s calendar AND there is a better chance of meeting folks if we only have the server up for a limited time where everyone is encouraged to hop in! We’ve had some great unofficial spin-off groups emerge (Sword Lesbians, anyone?), and believe some folks also took conversations to DMs so they could stay in touch outside of the server.
In other words, the goal of the server is to have fun this weekend, maybe meet some folks with similar interests and find ways to stay in touch, and then leave the weekend with fond memories and new connections. AND even if you’ve been before, we have so many new members, I highly encourage you to stop on by!
How do I join?
You can use that widget embedded down below! Or, follow this invite link!
A+ Pop-Up Pride Discord Server: June 26-28
***UPDATE***
Autostraddle writer Kayla Upadhyaya will host a Booksmart watch-a-long in the A+ Pop-Up Discord Server on Sunday June 27 at 3pm PST / 6pm EST. All you have to do to join her and A+ members in a live watch-a-long chat is 1) Be an A+ Member 2) Join the Discord Server this weekend and make sure you’re there at 3pm PST in the Booksmart channel! And 3) watch the movie at the same time as everyone else! Booksmart is currently available on Hulu. (Or platform of your choice — maybe you have the DVD, you do you!) We hope to see you there!
The beloved A+ member Discord Server is returning!
A+ Pop-Up Pride Discord Server | June 26 9am PST – June 28 3pm PST | 18+ | A+ Members
Meet other A+ members from all over the world and maybe nearby to you, too! Talk about everything from tarot to music to houseplants, post a lex-style personals ad, or just hang out. The server only shows up sometimes, for a limited time, so check back on the website that Saturday the 26th for the A+ Post to join! Or, if you sign up for A+ before then, you get the weekly A+ e-news every Saturday, and I’ll have instructions in there, too!
What is a Discord Server? It’s basically a giant chatroom with multiple channels, labeled by topic. The “pets” channel is always a huge seratonin rush and I am looking forward to how the gardening channel will do at this time of year!
Why is the server a pop-up? A couple of reasons! Firstly, it requires an AS team member to moderate it (it’s me, Nicole), which has not been too much of an issue as you all have done an awesome job of being respectful and minding the Code of Conduct. Still, we wouldn’t want to leave it unmonitored for very long, and we don’t have someone who could be the dedicated moderator.
Secondly, we’ve found that it’s easier on everyone’s calendar AND there is a better chance of meeting folks if we only have the server up for a limited time where everyone is encouraged to hop in! We’ve had some great unofficial spin-off groups emerge (Sword Lesbians, anyone?), and believe some folks also took conversations to DMs so they could stay in touch outside of the server.
In other words, the goal of the server is to have fun next weekend, maybe meet some folks with similar interests and find ways to stay in touch, and then leave the weekend with fond memories and new connections. AND even if you’ve been before, we have so many new members, I highly encourage you to stop on by!
Not yet an A+ member? You can join for as little as $4 a month, support indie queer media, get access to our Pop-Up Discord Servers like this one!
A+ Weekend Discord Server Invite Inside! Now Through 8pm PST 3/7!
This very weekend, right now in fact, we’re opening the A+ Members Discord Server again! Who knows what will happen! Tarot readings! Book clubs! Impromptu skillshare workshops! Lessons for elders about how to use TikTok! More pet photos!
The Important Stuff
Time: 9am PST Saturday March 6 – 8pm PST Sunday March 7
Some questions you might have:
Q: What if I don’t know how to use Discord?
A: Don’t worry, neither did any of us, but we learned really quickly and everyone was super patient and helpful! Just download it on your phone or open it in your browser, create an account, and use the link or widget below to join!
Q: Who will be modding?
A: Nicole and Carmen. Everyone needs to read the Community Guidelines in the #community_guidelines channel before you get started. It should address most questions you have! You can also ping Nicole or Carmen if there is an issue or question.
Q: Can I join the server if I’m under 18?
A: Sorry, but for the time being, no you cannot! This server is for individuals who are 18 years of age or older, only because there is a dating component involved and we want to prioritize safety here. Thank you for understanding.
Here is the invite link.
Or below, join using the widget! Can’t get in? Try making sure that your email is confirmed with Discord. Please leave a comment below if you have any trouble. We’re looking forward to seeing you!
Love A+? Want more people to be able to access A+ Content? Contribute to our A+ Cobalt Giveaway now through Monday March 8! We’re giving away Cobalt Memberships to people who might not otherwise be able to get them on our birthday on Tuesday March 9.
TRANSCRIPT: Making the Queer Media You Want to See in the World
This transcript is from the event, Making the Queer Media You Want to See In the World: A Conversation with Riese Bernard and Gabrielle Korn on February 18, 2021. (You can re-watch the event at the link.) This event is in honor of the release of Gabrielle’s book, Everybody (Else) Is Perfect: How I Survived Hypocrisy, Beauty, Clicks, and Likes and because of the fact that Autostraddle is fundraising right now to cover the gaps in our budget through July 2021. If this conversation speaks to you, we hope you’ll help support our independent queer media publication called Autostraddle dot com!
Gabrielle Korn: Are we on?
Riese Bernard: I believe we are on. Yeah.
Hi, everyone. Here we are. We are on. We are here for “Making the Queer Media You Want to See in the World: A Conversation with Riese Bernard and Gabrielle Korn.” My name is Riese. I am the CEO and Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com and the former editor-in-chief. This is a former editor-in-chief chat.
Yeah, Gabrielle, introduce yourself.
Gabrielle: Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to talk to you. I am a journalist, editor, and former Autostraddle writer and the author of a book called “Everybody (Else) is Perfect” which came out last month.
Riese: Tell us about your trajectory in media? How you got started in media in general and then, yeah, your trajectory/journey. Tell me about your journey.
Gabrielle: Totally. I studied queer and feminist theory in college which as you can imagine doesn’t super prepare you for a career.
Riese: What does really? You know?
Gabrielle: Great question. I worked in digital media for the past 10 years. My first job was as the editorial assistant at on the issues magazine which was a woman’s journal published in the basement of an abortion clinic. Then I got a job at Autostraddle and ended up writing about my passion which led me to Refinery 29 and then I went to Nylon and stayed a long time, eventually becoming editor-in-chief. I currently work at Netflix running Most which is the LGBTQ platform on social media.
Riese: When you started at Autostraddle, did you like it? Did you have fun?
Gabrielle: I loved it. I spent the majority of that time on the couch in my pajamas. It was the first time I ever felt really part of something but I think it coincideed with a feeling of directionless.
Riese: When you like transitioned from AutoStraddle to Refinery 29 what was different?
Gabrielle: I went from being one queer women in a group of queer women to the only lesbian as far as the eye could see. That was really, really jarring for me. I had been so used to being in these queer environments and like, I had done a bunch of activism and internships and volunteer work in queer environments and suddenly, I was the token. I think you don’t realize when you are in queer spaces, how much gay people talk about being gay. It is not like straight women talk about being straight.
Riese: Yeah, they do.
Gabrielle: Yeah but they don’t talk about when they discovered their straightness. The conversation on every level was just different.
Riese: I also felt the same way like in the very beginning of publishing before I started Autostraddle. Within the universe of the queer community and within Autostraddle, I am at the top of the privilege pile. You know, I have all of the privileges compared to the other intersectional identities within the community.
When I was in mainstream publishing spaces, I felt like no one wanted to talk to me. I felt everyone was speaking a language I didn’t know how to speak and as it was tied to being interested in what straight men had to say about anything. That’s part of why I started Autostraddle. Nobody wanted to hear our stories back then. When we were starting Autostraddle and starting to publish the work of all these people who had mostly been personal bloggers, it wasn’t like instead of selling this for $400 we will give it to Autostraddle for free. It was like nobody wants those stories at all. That has changed, obviously, a lot. I am curious from your position what have you seen in queer media and representation in the mainstream of queer stories since you started out?
Gabrielle: To your point like everything. I think something Autostraddle did before anyone did is insisting queer women were cool. It wasn’t a conversation that happened before. I feel like there is an energy around queer content and in order to be relevant you have to acknowledge queer people are people. But when you started Autostraddle and when I came on there wasn’t spaces for us to do what we were doing elsewhere. It just wasn’t cool. It wasn’t what people thought about. I had the same experience that you did which was people just didn’t want to hear about it. There was a very specific turning point later in the 2010s which was when like it happened to me and stuff became the content that started performing. I feel like it was that shift when queer narratives started being added to the mix. People saw this performance of vulnerability on the internet is driving clicks and there was this shift to prioritizing stories that had not been told before. I think it happened online before it happened in print as most things do. I think what’s happening now is that like it has gotten better but not a 100% better. I was the only lesbian on the editorial people. There was one other lesbian on the team.
That’s twice as many on one hand and on the other hand, that’s totally OK. I see new by lines popping up at legacy publications that when I was growing up to pretend lesbian were not women and now writing about us as though they have always done it. My hope is it is not a trend. It’s like how things are going to be. But I don’t really trust anything in media any more.
Riese: In a way, because there was that period of time, when there are LGBTQ verticals popping up.
There was one that is an offshoot of Seventeen. Jezebel had one, Roy G Biv. I was dying of jealously at all these places that had money to promote queer voices. As time went on, all of them folded or lost their funding, or had to let go of their regular staff or move entirely to freelance. It seemed like there was a some sense of maybe we’re not — especially because I feel that was right around the hot take time. SO like, having these takes about what was politically incorrect or problematic were so popular. When that sort of faded away, making the space for queer voices also felt with the hot takes and personal essay things fading, it was like oh, I guess we don’t really need them anymore. But there definitely still is by far — when we first started, we were writing news stories and hardly news experts. Those were coming from small weeklies. We are getting the information from like the smaller like local papers, local gay papers like windy city times and in other towns because they were not being told in the mainstream or when they were they were being told incorrectly.
Gabrielle: I remember scouring Google for news about people across the country and turning tiny blips into big headlines as part of the strategy. I wanted to ask you what do you think about these major publications having like silos queer content versus just having inclusive content?
Riese: I think, I mean, I think part of the idea of the silo is it is sort of like your dedicating a space like a community space, right, that is in a way it is like you are giving something important by giving it its own like place to be. And I don’t know. I think I feel equally about both of those things. I think that it is — I think it is nice to have like a side space that’s focused on your community. I think there is a lot of things that people don’t feel comfortable. Sort of a side note but I feel with Autostraddle part of what still feels different about is that the people in the continents talking to you are also gay. It is very weird to like be on other sites. Even if it is in the siloed part of the website.
Lots of straight people are there and they have opinions about all of your choices. I think its like — the only bad thing though is then they shutdown those silos, right?
Gabrielle: And to the point of comment, I think that was another really big difference that I felt when I left queer media for mainstream media. The comments on Autostraddle were part of the whole experience and it was like there would be like the same group of people who would also chime in to everything I wrote and I would always respond and it would be like this ongoing conversation and I would look forward to it. When I started writing at Refinery and was writing about largely the same things, suddenly the comments were like, you seem like a really angry person. [Laughter]
Riese: That’s it?
Gabrielle: Yeah, and obviously escalated from there in tone and acquisition but it was very boring. There was also this attitude of like we don’t — just don’t read the comments.
From like a self-preservation/mental health perspective, you are not going to learn anything from people yelling at you which was the total opposite of what I learned from you which is always read the comments and respond. These are the people you are writing for. That was a lesson I took with me into every job I ever had which is the importance of making sure you are actually making things for your audience.
When I went to Nylon I noticed that difference in like a print versus digital situation which was when you are making something that people can’t comment on, which is the first time I had experienced that, you become disconnected from the conversation and I feel like there is no way to continue serving your audience if you are not paying attention and engaging with them regularly.
Riese: If at Refinery 29 they were like do not read the comments, how were they deciding how people felt about the content?
Gabrielle: Clicks.
Riese: Just traffic?
Gabrielle: Traffic, yeah. Which I think a lot of places were doing. Then it became like OK. People yell at us every single time we write a news story about the Kardashians but 500,000 people have clicked on it in the past hour and that’s driving revenue.
Do we listen to the people saying this is cheap and trashy or listen to the clicks supporting revenue? I think for a while everyone in digital media everyone followed the clicks and there were a few years where the internet was bad. Everyone being the first to cover whatever BS news story about whatever celebrity or when Instagram became a thing.
Everyone tried to cover a celebrity’s Instagram post the fastest. The result was that everything became in distinguishable from each other.
You couldn’t tell what website you were reading because everyone was covering the same thing. It was a really depressing moment in time as a writer.
Riese: So was a lot of the content — I should say that like I just have a lot of questions about how normal media works. We so much learned as we go along. We made things up as we went along. We never had an office where we were interacting with people and never had any institution giving us support. I don’t think we had — yeah, we just sort of made stuff up. I am always super curious. And you are the only person who ever talks to me about it. When we do our surveys and are like do you want more celebrity content and people are like no, you already have enough. But it is like you are clicking on it every time.
Gabrielle: I want to talk about Stef’s content. That’s why everybody should support Autostraddle with money.
Riese: Stef did a whole timeline of Kristen Stuart’s whole life with her whole heart. It is self-depricating or self-conscious.
Gabrielle: It is extremely self aware. I think it also creates a fact that the feeling of the celebrities out and living their out lives and talking about it and having their girlfriends on Instagram, it creates a sense of community and like access in a way. I feel like that’s a very special and specific thing that’s different from hair change content. [Laughter]
Riese: Although, we do cover a lot of, when Kristen Stuart got her hair cut that was a big story.
Gabrielle: I mean it’s important.
Riese: I think also when I was —
remember when Us Weekly was everything? Everyone was obsessed with it for a few years. Then other celebrity weeklies came out. I was like I don’t understand any of this and I don’t know why anyone fucking cares about what these people are doing. I was in college in Michigan and there were Us Weekly’s all over the bathroom.
Now I am like is it just because they were straight that I didn’t like it? Or just because Stef wasn’t writing it?
Gabrielle: I think that’s it. I was offered a job at Us Weekly and turned it down because it was the most depressing thing I could think of.
Riese: I interned there.
Gabrielle: Oh, you did?
Riese: This is what I am talking about. These places, and I think then, I am talking this was in 2000. This is actually transitioning to becoming a weekly at the time. They were in the same building as the Rolling Stone which is I really wanted to be. I was like if I can walk around their offices maybe they will discover me? I don’t know.
I was 18. I felt at that time somehow everyone already knew each other. It did feel like —
and everyone was speaking this language I didn’t speak. Again, I have so many privileges going into these spaces that the majority of people don’t have and yet I still felt like so what’s happening here? But I remember I had to go through and look at their entire archive and mark every time Jennifer Aniston appeared in the magazine. I kept fucking up. Every task I had to do I messed up. I could tell she was losing her interest in me as a person so I quit.
Gabrielle: I mean, I think it is a fair point that everyone in media seems like they know each other.
Riese: Right.
Gabrielle: And I remember walking through that Rolling Stone/Us Weekly office and being astouned by how life less it felt. Gray carpet, gray cubicles and I was like this is Rolling Stone? What even is media? Right?
Riese: Because Rolling stone is supposed to be like Almost Famous.
Everyone is cool, defining culture, everyone is doing drugs and they are singing Elton John in the tour bus.
Gabrielle: They might be doing drugs but they are doing it in a very corporate environment.
Riese: Fair. You and I were talking last year, trying to figure out for me what normal salaries were for positions, I was talking about and you told me what normal salaries were for my position and I was like, oh my God. I can’t believe how much more the position is at other places. Even more than I expected which expected for there to be a big difference.
You were like at least you are making that amount for your own dream and not someone elses. In your book you talk about how when Nylon was sold to Bustle that you felt like this lack of a true ownership over what you did. You were able to leave and then your legacy didn’t necessarily live on. I am just wondering if you could talk about that. It is very interesting to me. I can’t really imagine that.
Gabrielle: Yeah, I mean, it was like —
I felt like I was tricked by capitalism into thinking that this title and this position was my life. And like I was the face of the brand. I was leading the team. The person above me was the CEO and the person above him was the board. I did feel ownership over it. I poured my heart and soul into it and one day it all went away and there was nothing I could do about it.
It was like the biggest revelation of my life which was that like I had acted like something wasn’t mine and it wasn’t. I felt like never again will I sacrifice myself for someone else’s thing. I made the business profitable and all these changes that made the brand good and worth acquiring and then it was acquired and I was left with nothing. I didn’t have equity. I had nothing. When I was talking to you about salaries, I think part of the reason why editor and chiefs at legacy brands get paid so much money is because of how those jobs in particular like chew you up and spit you out. And I do remember, I think it was 1-2 years ago, the article about the Conde Naste salaries and lifetime pensions all those people got? That really hurt me.
I felt like all of the EICs of our generation are making 1/8th, if lucky, of those salaries and not getting any of the lifetime benefits but our work is the same.
Riese: Right.
Gabrielle: If anything, we are more hands-on than those people. We are just a lot more involved.
Riese: And the pace of digital is also —
Gabrielle: Totally different. I felt like I came in too late. I missed it. In terms of you and Autostraddle, I remember when we had that conversation feeling like I would do anything to be running my own publication and to be like creating the rules of the publication. I could only do so much. Yeah, I mean, to me it feels different. But I also know running your own company is a totally different experience than I ever had. I don’t know what it feels like to be worried about like —
Riese: Everything.
— everything in the way that you have to. It is just a totally different thing. I know that abstractly that we needed money but I never saw like behind the scenes of the financials. I knew that brand deal we got mattered a lot but I had no idea about the big picture of it.
Riese: Or anything? Money?
Gabrielle: Nope. I didn’t know.
[Laughter]
Riese: [Laughter] Wow. It is like the grass is always greener.
Although I have come around to feeling like probably our grass is pretty green but I would look at, you know, you went to Nylon and were able to hire the people you want today hire and do the things you wanted to do because you had this funding coming in.
I remember when Phillip started at Out and did a Twitter thread of all the people he was hiring to work there and was naming all the people. I am like oh, my God. Obviously I love my team and want to keep them and I am very happy I hired them but if I could also hire these other people? And I was just so jealous. Some of the people in the thread were people we wanted to write for us but couldn’t afford to have. In that case, it was mostly like they didn’t even have the money that they told him they had to run the publication. They ended up owing so many people money and people were not getting paid near the end. I think when we are heading up, we are almost 12, and it seems like there is a lot of disadvantages to the independent nature of Autostraddle but that somehow that this much more conservative way of operating, more financially conservative way of operating, is actually what has enabled us to survive because we didn’t over — we never invested money we didn’t have. We were not getting venture capital and investment. Every penny we spent we had to earn.
Gabrielle: I think the fact that Autostraddle still exists is proof that that was the right way to go about it. So many places don’t exist any more.
With Nylon and my own team, I could hire who I wanted but I couldn’t pay them what I wanted.
Salaries and raises —
Riese: Same.
Gabrielle: — were never up to me. Yeah.
So I think that is like another frustrating part of not working on the business side of things.
I have organized things so differently. I would have invested in different places.
But that just wasn’t a conversation I was allowed to have which I think —
Riese: Why not?
Gabrielle: Who knows? I will never know. I tried.
Riese: Yeah. But they gave you an editorial budget for freelancers?
Gabrielle: But not for my staff.
Riese: Not for your staff. That would be really annoying.
Gabrielle: Yeah. It was what I talked about in therapy for five years.
Riese: Right.
It also seems like one thing I really related to in your book, obviously a lot in your book because we are similar in many ways, was also just the burnout and the exhaustion. I think like part of what these enormous, ridiculous editor and chief salaries lead to is these are people who had assistants and they had nannies and things that enabled them to keep up this pace. We aren’t going to fashion week, we are not invited to parties, we don’t have the same amount of stuff that you had to do as an editor in chief but still the amount of hours you had to put in, it felt like this position, I was always behind. I still feel that way. I feel behind right now. I am behind right now. It is not a feeling. It’s true. It feels like completely unsustainable but I don’t think if that’s ever going to change.
Gabrielle: I think that’s the nature of the job. I think this is a job that people don’t have for more than a few years because it’s 24/7, it’s never done, it just takes so much out of you. I think like yeah, you are right.
That’s why they made so much money and had car service and like loans for homes that were near the office. Things that I couldn’t really dream of living in my studio apartment in bed sty and taking three trains to get to work. That’s a totally different world.
Riese: And it is also, the people below me have the same situation. They also are working way too many hours for way not enough money all of the time which is also sort of why when people talked about Autostraddle asked the success story especially two years ago when we decided to go for it and have a real budget. Even still now, I don’t really feel like we are a full success story because we still aren’t able to pay people what they are worth. And that is always like — before I thought the solution to that was one day we would get an investor for one day. Or honestly one day we would sell. Now, just watching what is happening with like INTO and everything. It feels like everything is being consolidateed under Bustle or Vox I want to say. Like it is all going to become just a handful of media companies that exist and any could be extinguished at any time.
Gabrielle: That’s how I feel too. It is kind of an ethical question of Autostraddle of paying people more money versus giving content to an underserved community.
Riese: Right.
Gabrielle: I don’t know what the answer is. Ideally the answer is there is a wealthy lesbian listening to this conversation and can give you $10 million so you don’t have to worry about it.
Where is she?
Riese: Like straight people when I talk to them are like have you asked Ellen?
[Laughter]
Riese: Or Rosie? And I am like…
not yet, no. We haven’t thought about it.
Over the years, there have been a handful of times when we were almost broke and I found a wealthy lesbian to just write me a check.
Gabrielle: So there is precedent for it.
Riese: There is. They were relatively small checks but it stopped us from — I guess. It kept us going for another month or whatever. You know that saying that’s like New York is for the very thin — or not the very thin, well it. But the very rich or the very young? I feel like that’s also true about media.
Gabrielle: Media?
Gabrielle: Media, yeah.
Riese: There is a lot of like what we used to do, because I felt like we don’t have the money but what we do have is my complete lack of boundaries and willingness to work constantly and a lot of other people’s to do the same. When you started you were writing for free.
Gabrielle: Yeah, I mean I was living in my grandparent’s house when I was working for Autostraddle.
For money I was doing publicity on a film about sex and writing press releases for people. I couldn’t have worked at Autostraddle full-time if I had not had that place to live. I think that’s true for a lot of media jobs. Then it becomes this self-selecting group of people who can afford to not be paid and those are the people who stay in media and who like climb the ranks. Or people have bartending jobs after work and then they burnout because that’s awful.
Riese: Yeah. I think a lot of them have husbands.
Gabrielle: Yes. Which is part of being able to afford having a low-paying job.
Riese: I think that’s always been a problem with lesbian media specifically. I do have, or I did have a safety net, of money leftover from when my dad died and if I had not had that to pay my rent the first year of Autostraddle there would be no Autostraddle. There is a lot of people who obviously don’t have those resources and lesbian media, historically, you worked at the lesbian history archives, we have a solid track record of folding pretty quickly. I think that is a big part of it.
Gabrielle: Should we look and see if there is questions since we are half an hour in?
Riese: Yeah.
Gabrielle: I just click ask a question?
Riese: I don’t know. If I click this and there aren’t know. If anybody wants to ask a question, you can ask a question. I will ask a personal question. There is a book that says when you are a shy little girl you have adorable but when you are a shy woman you are a bitch. I relate to that. I have been socially awkward with a medium personality. I would feel like it is OK. I am fine. I am young.
I can get away with it. I remember getting into the my 30s and I am not young any more. I have to figure out how to to be a real person. I always end upcoming off like a snob or bitch and I am like no, I am actually terrified of you and everybody. How do you deal with that when you are in such a front-facing role and having to charm and speak to people? Multiple people in one day. You would go to multiple events. You would go to a lot of things in a day.
Gabrielle: I think what I realized was people will project whatever they want onto quiet women. The honest answer is pharmaceuticals. Anti-depressants and beta blockers made it easier to be in crowds and talk to strangers. I think I mastered tricks to keep the other people talking and project warmth and smile so that like they know that you don’t hate them. But like I still talk to people all of the time. It was like I was just dying of anxiety. When I was a manager, something I realized was the power in being a quiet person because mostly people just want you to listen to them. Like they don’t want you to talk to them.
Like I think that’s the biggest thing about being a good people manager. Just hearing people out. They often know the answers to the questions they are asking you. They just want you to like bounce back whatever they are putting out. That kind of became a powerful tool for me. I realized that it doesn’t have to be this bad thing and I don’t have to beat myself up about it.
It was a constant struggle. The thing I do as a shy introvert is forget speak. It is not like I am afraid to speak. I just get so wrapped up in listening to other people talk I have to be like OK, come on, it is your turn. That’s an ongoing thing.
Riese: When I was younger, I would just drink before I had to interact with people. Now I am older and I can’t drink. I just can’t drink. I mean I do but very rarely. It is just like my body is no longer interested in it. Also, I would sometimes embarrass myself. I was like I have to get my shit together because I am getting older and need to find a more sustainable way to interact than this temporary crutch that you have been doing for five years.
Gabrielle: And I think I didn’t realize like how much my shyness had to do with being young and full of self-doubt until an Autostraddle event we did at the lesbian archives and gabby, the other Gabrielle, was like why are you so quiet? Are you 22? I was like yeah. And then I remember that conversation so well. She knew the reason I am so terrified is because I am younger than everybody here. Oh, maybe this gets better as I get older. It is not that it has gotten better but I have become better at hiding it and coping.
Riese: Yeah, that makes sense. We have questions now. OK. What advice do you have for someone who wants to become a writer? Do you know that story called how to be a writer in the first line of the story is first try to do something, anything else.
Gabrielle: Yeah, and that’s like usually what I say to people. I mean, I think the thing to know about becoming a writer is that the truth is it might never become lucrative enough to be the only thing that you do. I would think about like why you want to write and what you want to write about and can you do that while doing anything else because, you know, it is really hard to have it be the thing. The second thing I would say is you have to do it and pitch editors. You have to put yourself out there and except you will be rejected a million times. It is often not a reflection on you or sometimes it is.
Riese: I was rejected by After Ellen three times.
Gabrielle: Well, we all know what happened to them.
Riese: Yeah, and so obviously that has not worked out for them.
But, yeah. You are going to get rejected a million times. I wouldn’t get discouraged by that because there is so many factors that go into whether or not your piece is accepted that have nothing to do with your talent.
Also, there are like a lot of writing aadjacentant things you can do whether that’s copywriting or formal textbook writing or copyediting and stuff like that. I mean, writing is a skill. It is a valuable skill.
You forget it especially, I assume, I have always just been good at it. Like my whole life.
Gabrielle: I think in editorial settings you forget not everybody knows how to write. And you can go anywhere else. It is like oh, I do know things. I am good at things. I work in social media now. There is a ton of writing and editing in that.
Riese: You probably will have to write. People still write for free, right? There is still places that don’t pay.
Gabrielle: I don’t know. Probably. You might have to do that. I wrote a lot of things for free. I wrote one thing for $5.
Riese: Do you have advice for people wanted to start queer websites for their local communities? I am in Australia. Um. Set boundaries on your time and how much time you will spend on it every day because it is easy to lose your life getting succeed into something that might not be what you are making a living doing. I think the success of focused websites is your love for the community. You know? If you are a passionate, when we have a lot of our writers and editors who are like this, they are very involved in the local communities and that comes through in literally everything that they do. And I think that like as long as you are coming from that place of love, for your community, it will probably be a great website. Just set boundaries around time and responsibilities if you are setting up situations where people, you know, if it is like a hub for where you are taking — websites people can post ads or post Meetups or whatever. That you figure out ahead of time what type of responsibilities you are going to be taking as the web person for what happens with those Meetups or the results of those ads because that can get tricky.
I think that would be my advice.
I think it is really great you want to do that.
Gabrielle: Yeah, I think that’s awesome.
Riese: Yeah. Work with local community stuff. Ebony who runs Tagg Magazine in D.C. it is very focused on the local community and she works with a lot of local bars and party promoters and stuff. She is very involved in the community and they work together and they are able to make some money from advertising from those events and stuff. I would look at Tagg also. It is a national publication but focused on the local D.C. area. I also really like Australia. They have great flavored milk. I have family there.
What is the future of podcasts and queer digital media?
Gabrielle: That is the question.
[Laughter]
I mean, I think like podcasts are the thing. The podcast moment continues to podcast. You know, with queer media, it’s like we have seen so many things come and go, like, I think it is more of a question of what is the future of media and the problem is that people want content to be free and that doesn’t lead to a sustainable industry model. I think until very smart business minds try to solve the problem of editorial, the future does hang in the balance. That’s why Autostraddle is doing a fundraiser. Like that’s why it is important to give to them because if there is something you love at this point, I think it is on us to make sure that it stays around.
Riese: Surprisingly, I completely agree that it is really important to give money to the media you like especially Autostraddle. But no, to all of it. There has never a time when publications survived solely on ad income. Also subscriptions, events, or for free papers it was their classified ads. It was advertising but more community focused. And necessarily advertising as we looked at Craigslist. People always had apartments and needed jobs so they can rely on that stuff.
There was never a time that many we are moving to digital and ads will support everything was always bananas. There are some places doing that but not many.
They are owned by hedge funds or private foundations and they have their own agenda. Without a combination of ad and subscription revenue without the support of humans, I don’t think that there is a future for queer, digital media.
Gabrielle: I mean I think it is important to think about what you reading and who it is supporting. We live in a time when you can see yourself reflected in all kinds of media, from all kinds of corporations, who never liked to talk about us before. But when you click on those things, you are giving people money who are not part of our community. Maybe the writer of the story is queer. Maybe she makes $55,000 and lives in Bushwick but someone else has a corporation, like $55 million and your click is helping them and they are probably a white man. I think part of what needs to change is we all need to become conscious consumers of the internet.
Riese: I agree. Most media companies that are like big and still surviving there is like a white man at the top of it almost by definition at this point. Any company able to acquire another company there is a white man at the top. A lot of what you are doing is supporting him and the other people up there. But it’s also part of what we said earlier where it is tenuous and you have people at the top of the countries that don’t have investments in the publications.
Gabrielle: And they are profiting off representation which is not the same as investing in it. They are not putting money back into the communities that they are covering versus a queer-owned and operated site which is hiring queer people to create representative content. It is a totally different thing. I think we do benefit from representation period. All the time. No matter where it is. But it is important to understand like the full picture of it. You know, money is tight right now for everybody. I just think it is so important to be aware of like the value of where the media is coming from and who it is supporting.
Riese: I unsurprisingly agree. What do you think about stopping and calling ourselves and others bitches because it dehumanizes us therefore keeping us down?
Gabrielle: I think — yeah, go ahead.
Riese: I was going to say I can keep myself down with or without the word.
Gabrielle: I think the process of words being reclaimed is really fascinating. I don’t know. I think it just depends on who is saying it. Like bitch means something different in queer communities than in straight communities. Same with the word dyke.
Riese: Given the horrible way media works, what can we do for the people remaining on the right side and rep the community well?
Gabrielle: That’s what you were doing at Nylon, you know.
Riese: You have to keep fighting the good fight. You have to stand up for the things you believe in and write about the things you know are important to you and don’t let things like traffic goals and traffic revenue like take you away from the things that you love and the things that are important. I think what is great about this time in media is we can point out the time with institutions and have those conversations and I think it is so important we keep doing that.
Gabrielle: I think when we are in mainstream media spaces or when I am dealing with other people in gay media places, it is advocating for people who have less access and privileges than you do. Even when it is not your — even when we get surveys why are like I know the way they have asked the gender question is wrong. I will email them. I am not saying I am like an exexlimpary example of doing the right thing but I think little things like that. Let them know.
You did talk about a person of this race, or of this trans status in a certain way that wasn’t OK. And I think that if you have enough privilege to have that emotional energy to do that, then you do that, and you use the privileges that you have to up lift the people below you.
I don’t know if that’s what your situation is. But in general, that’s part of it. I am fine as a white queer woman. I am fine.
You know what I mean? At this point it is about the people who are not yet fine and still in your community.
Riese: Yes. Aligned.
Gabrielle: As the managing editor of out sports I love Autostraddle acknowledges queer women that love sports. But I think my site is still seen as a site for gay male sports. How else do you recommend I attract more of us who love sports and love women?
Riese: I have to be honest, there is like balls, hoops, Nets, uniforms, those are cute. I have to be honest that our sports content doesn’t get a lot of traffic. The only sports content we do that gets a lot of traffic is attractive, athletes getting married, getting engaged, take their shirts off, breaking up.
Gabrielle: I think there is this larger issue of queer media speaking very specifically to men versus to women. What I have found, as like the quickest fix, is to think about who you are elevating to a status of someone to be thirsted after. If it is for queer women, talk about hot athletes who are women. That’s my best advice.
Riese: Yeah. I would love to know —
the WNBA is where the most exciting stuff is happening in athletics. I do know that. I do wish I knew. Dawn, if you find out how to get more women sports fans to your site, you can let me know. But then, I guess, you know, yeah. I don’t know besides what we already said. I don’t know. Maybe they are reading ESPN women or something. The Olympics. People enjoy that.
Gabrielle: That’s true. Gymnastics.
Riese: Yes, I do love gymnastics. OK. “You mean there are podcasts other than To L and Back? I only listen to podcasts with Riese.”
That’s true. There is only one podcast and the only one I or anyone should listen to. This is not a question. Oh, they want to see more video virtual events like that. OK. That’s cute. OK. Someone loves how Carley talks about to the WNBA on L and back. “Other podcasts are great.” I don’t listen to a lot of podcasts.
Gabrielle: I don’t either. I don’t understand how people listen to them and do anything.
Riese: Drive?
Gabrielle: Yeah, I don’t do that.
Riese: I am always listening to audio books because I don’t want to be alone with like my own thoughts. [Laughter] You know? That would be terrifying. Everyone so nice about the podcast. Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I love doing the podcast. We have like five minutes. Is there another question? Or should I ask you another question? Or you can ask me another question?
Gabrielle: We also selected five people for me to send a copy of the book too.
Riese: Oh, right.
Do you have that email pulled up?
Gabrielle: Oh, there it is.
Riese: Jordan, Sydney, Casey, Liliana, Nash, you won a book!
Gabrielle: I am going to sign a book and put it in an envelope and probably my girlfriend will take it to the post office. But thank you so much for RSP V —
Riese: What is your best advice for a writer pitching?
Gabrielle: Make sure that the person you are writing to is the most relevant editor. Like really do your homework about who you are emailing.
Don’t email the editor and chief.
Riese: Don’t email the CEO.
Gabrielle: Don’t email the CEO. Don’t even email the executive editor.
Don’t email a staff writer.
Riese: I think its look at — I think most websites have a thing about what they are writing or what they are looking for. And then also, you can — I think it is good that you show a familiarity with the publication. I think sometimes it can be offputting when it is something that we have already done. You know? But I think there is also like I think having, in my opinion, and I am not an editor so I am not accepting pitches, but having like a voice really, really matters. If even the first line of your email I can feel your voice and who you are, that will grab me every time. I think that that like honestly the first paragraph of your email is probably worth more than you think of it.
Gabrielle: I would also say keep it as short and to the point. When I was accepting pitches, I would want to know one sentence about who you are with like a few links to previous work so that, you know, if you have it, if you don’t have it that’s OK, and then like a headline in bold, and two sentences about the story. If you can’t sum tup in two sentences it is probably not article length. Editors are so busy and just going email, email, email and make it as easy as possible. Vanessa said there are more questions in the ask a question box.
Riese: We also have one here too.
I have a lot of mental things including depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia and that’s one that sidelines my ability.
Especially as I get older. My body especially is a lot less resilient than it used to be.
And that’s — I don’t know how much longer I will be able to do it. You set yourself up as I can do this at the expense of my mental health and there is no guarantee that will change. It is something you really have to keep in mind and to honor and pay attention to. Eventually it will catch up and you will have a nervous breakdown, in my opinion.
Gabrielle: I mean, yeah. The point of my book is I did sacrifice my mental health for success and crashed and burned in a really real way. I think to what Riese just said, make it a priority from the beginning. Know your limits. Like don’t ever bargain away what is OK for you and what isn’t and have a support system.
Don’t skip therapy. Take your medication. All lessons I learned the hard way.
Riese: I think at Autostraddle we’re accepting of that stuff and we can be honest about those things. I was aware of Autostraddle and we can be aware of our limitations. I don’t think I was very respectful of my own limitations and I think that meant for awhile I wasn’t respectful of other limitations as well. It was like we were all in this together. I think that was actually kind of damaging as much as we also do make a lot of room for that in a way that was a way we were trying to be different than other companies that don’t see mental health as important.
They don’t believe it. I guess is a way to sum it up. OK.
“I love how edgey and radical Autostraddle is, even while covering topics like TV shows and celebrities. Do you think that your intersectionalism and social justice makes wealthy queer donors or investors sideline you? Would you feel controlled if you had a major wealthy investor?” Interesting question. I don’t know.
[Laughter]
Riese: When you were working to make Nylon more intersectional and more inclusive, was there any backlash from up top or from advertisers or from anybody of that nature?
Gabrielle: Yeah, I mean I had to have this really uncomfortable conversation with my boss about how advertisers didn’t want to be around our period content. And I was like: But it’s our top-performing content, so which do you want me to do?
Riese: Right.
Gabrielle: And I think we did lose a lot of advertisers. We particularly did seem to lose our luxury advertisers when we centered a political awareness in everything we did. The advertising base definitely shifted. But I think at this point in time, those advertisers realize that they have to be aligned with some sort of political values. There is no such thing as being apolitical anymore. So I do think that it’s different from even what it was even two or three years ago.
Riese: Yeah, I think so, too. Would we feel controlled if we had a major wealthy investor? I think it would depend on the major wealthy investor. My goal with Autostraddle is that we need somebody else helping us on the business / marketing / ad side. We need our rates to be higher. We need our contractors to be paid more. And we need to be able to do that without sacrificing our ability to continue existing, or what we do best, and we also obviously need a lot more representation for people of color and disabled people on our website so those are the goals and whatever we have to do to get there, we’ll do. But those are difficult goals to find a major wealthy investor for, but who knows? Maybe we will.
I mean, if some power lesbian wants to control me with her money, that’s fine.
[Laughter]
Riese: I’m open to it.
[Reads question]
Riese: Oh wait, we answered that one. Oh, are we out of time? Yeah, we’re out of time. We’re out of time, so we can’t talk anymore.
Gabrielle: Well, thank you so much. This was so great. I hope that everyone is inspired to donate to Autostraddle’s fundraiser. Because it’s so important that we keep our queer media alive until a wealthy lesbian comes along who controls Riese with her money.
Riese: Yeah, and if you are that wealthy lesbian, who wants to control me with your money, you can just let me know in whatever way is best for you. You should buy Gabrielle’s book, if you didn’t win it because it’s really great. I read it in one night and I wrote “same” next to a bunch of things, and I sent her screenshots of my diary.
Gabrielle: It was a delight.
Riese: Buy it. And yeah. Donate to our thing. And listen to my podcast. Read our website! We have amazing, amazing, amazing writers. Especially, we have so many new, exciting writers. Yeah, and that’s all. None of the things we’re saying count because we’re over time. Thank you everyone for coming.
[Looking at buttons]
Riese: I love these comments so much. I miss doing things with people.
Gabrielle: Me too. I have faith in comments, again.
Riese: Bye!
End transcript.
Support Independent Queer Media
We’re raising funds to make it through the end of July. 99% of the people who read this site don’t support. Will you be one of the ones who do? Joining A+ is one of the best ways to support Autostraddle — plus you get access to bonus content while keeping the site 99% free for everyone. Will you join today?
Event: Making the Queer Media You Want to See in the World With Gabrielle Korn and Riese
“I applied [to Autostraddle] with a reported story about the history of a 1973 poster I’d found at the Lesbian Herstory Archives. It was an image of two women, one topless, with the caption I’LL ALWAYS LOVE MY MAMA.”
– Everybody (Else) is Perfect: How I Survived Hypocrisy, Beauty, Clicks, and Likes by Gabrielle Korn
Gabrielle Korn would go on to join the Autostraddle team and publish this piece, her first for Autostraddle, in 2012, eventually launching the columns How to Own It and Lez Get Dressed for Work. Her book spans her career in media, from her first role at Refinery 29, to her promotion to Editor in Chief at Nylon in the same year that Nylon discontinued its print magazine in 2017.
In honor of the publication of Gabrielle’s book and our fundraiser, we’re hosting a conversation between Riese Bernard, Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle, and Gabrielle Korn, about queer internet culture, the current media landscape and how we go about building the queer media we want to see in the world. It will be so much fun and we hope to see you there!!!
*We’re giving away 5 free copies of Everybody (Else) is Perfect by Gabrielle Korn to randomly selected people who RSVP for this event! To be announced during the event! No purchase necessary to enter.*
Where: Crowdcast
When: February 18, 2021 4:30pm PST / 7:30 EST
How Much: Free
Accessibility: Realtime captioning for this event will be provided by White Coat Captioning. You can access the captioning by opening up the following Streamtext link in a separate window. A transcript of this event will be published on Autostraddle.com on February 19, 2021.
Support Independent Queer Media
We’re raising funds to make it through the end of July. 99% of the people who read this site don’t support. Will you be one of the ones who do? Joining A+ is one of the best ways to support Autostraddle — plus you get access to bonus content while keeping the site 99% free for everyone. Will you join today?
Starting Right Now Today: A+ Members-Only Valentine’s Discord Server!
Hey there starbursts! Today is the day! And also tomorrow!
We’re hosting an A+ Members Discord Server for the purposes of assuaging boredom this weekend, making connections on the internet, perhaps even meeting a new friend and maaaybe finding a date!
The Important Stuff
Time: 6am PST Saturday February 13 – 8pm PST Sunday February 14
Use this Link (You’ll also need to sign up for discord): https://discord.gg/aY7UrHM7
To use Discord on your phone, it will prompt you to install an app. You can also install the app on a computer, OR you can just use Discord in your computer’s web browser.
We also have an invite widget embedded down below.
Some Questions You Might Have:
Q: What if I’m not looking for dates?
A: Hoo well are you in luck! The majority of server channels in this thing are actually not about dating. You can join and just chat with fellow queers about houseplants, what you’re binge-watching, that book you’re reading. We’re keeping it light, but also, you know, gay.
Q: Will I meet the love of my life on this server?
A: You miiiight, but we recommend going into this with the lowest of expectations, as you would with any dating app. We recommend just trying to concentrate on having fun! It’s kind of like internet-based speed-dating, since you’ll want to make plans (exchange insta handles or somesuch) if you want to continue a connection afterwards. The more people join, the better the odds, so…if you’re thinking about it, why not stop on by?
Q: Who will be modding?
A: It’s Carmen and me (Nicole)! We’re asking anyone who joins to abide by a code of conduct that is rooted in mutual respect and to just be our best selves on here. But yes, we’ll be around to help and you should DM or tag us if there are any serious issues (harassment, etc.).
Q: Can I join the server if I’m under 18?
A:Sorry, but for the time being, no you cannot! This server is for individuals who are 18 years of age or older, only because there is a dating component involved and we want to prioritize safety here. Thank you for understanding.
Q: I’ve never used Discord before! Is it difficult?
A: It’s not too bad! We’re all just getting used to it, but once you get used to the interface, it’s pretty self-explanatory. We have a channel where you can post your Discord help questions, though!
Q: Anything else I should be aware of?
A: Yes! We have a Code of Conduct and Community Guidelines channel we need everyone to review before we get started. Thanks in advance for reading through!
OMG we can’t wait let’s hop on!
Gay Agenda Recap and Transcript: Autostraddle’s Leaders Talk About the Vision!
Thanks to YOU and this community, we’re going to be able to stick around through the end of 2020! We hope you know that you really made a difference in a big way. Each and every person who gave $5, $10, who joined A+ or bought a shirt or sticker, truly mattered.
Before we were honestly sure that this was going to be the case, we still dreamed big and envisioned better futures for this publication. Our first ever virtual town hall: What’s On Our Gay Agenda was conceived to answer YOUR questions and give you a chance to see what’s going on behind the scenes, in our brains, and in terms of what our leadership WOULD DO if we only had the funds. Well, you’ve decided to fund us and we are incredibly grateful and so you can expect some actionable goals to be achieved in the future, my friend. But until then, please enjoy this glimpse into what we spoke about when we could only hope.
…And speaking of this being our FIRST ever time trying to host something like this: it all seemed to go smoothly, until we had a technical difficulty AFTERWARDS. We were able to capture and transcribe the first 23 minutes of this town hall, but a bug prevented the last portion of the event from recording. Listen, Crowdcast has been nothing but lovely to us — we submitted multiple help tickets and spoke with several helpful folks, but in the end they weren’t able to retrieve the unrecorded section. Crowdcast has told us they’ve fixed this bug and, as people who are also always trying to improve, we get it: sometimes stuff just breaks! I included some notes for the important questions that weren’t captured in the recording, which appear below the transcript. In the future, it will always be our goal to actually have each virtual event recorded in full and we’re sorry that this was not recoverable.
Transcript of the first 23 minutes:
The virtual event, “What’s On Our Gay Agenda?” opens with laughter from Kamala Puligandla, Editor in Chief in the upper left hand corner, Riese Berndard, CEO and CFO in the upper right hand corner, Dr. Carmen Phillips, Deputy Editor in the bottom right hand corner, and Nicole Hall, A+ & Fundraising Director in the bottom left hand corner.
Kamala: Hi Everybody!
Riese: Oh! Now we’re live?
Carmen: Yeah, we’re live.
Riese: Cool!
Carmen: Hi people!
[There’s a moment where the recording cuts out, but Nicole’s just introduced herself and is asking if everyone else can, too.]
Riese: I’m Riese, the CEO.
Kamala: I’m Kamala. I’m the Editor in Chief.
[Video cuts out, but Carmen also introduces herself as Deputy Editor]
Kamala: Nicole do you want to say how it’s gonna work?
Nicole: Yeah, I do want to tell everyone how it’s gonna work. So, we collected questions ahead of time just to make it easier, and I’m going to be reading the questions off for everybody and they will answer in conversation. It’ll just go: I’ll read a question, they’ll answer, I’ll read a question, they’ll answer, and we’re gonna have three different groups. So, this is the first group, and the second group is gonna be Rachel, Vanessa and Xoai, and then the final group is gonna have Sarah, Riese again and Heather.
Riese: I hope the light is still good again later.
Nicole: You guys have LA light. Okay.
Carmen: You’re like “Oh, the light.” I’m like the sun’s going down over here.
Riese: It’s radiant.
Nicole: It’s over, over here.
Carmen: Oh that’s true. Detroit: we still have sunset. The sky is currently purple, which none of you guys came here to know, but it’s cool.
Riese: Thanks, Carmen! I appreciate that.
Carmen: Love giving updates on the weather.
[Kamala laughs]
[All laughing at once about the weather]
Kamala: Nicole, please…
Nicole: I’m trying to read a question. Okay. So —
Riese: It’s seventy-five degrees here.
Carmen: We’re sorry Nicole.
Riese. It’s. Seventy-five. Degrees. Here. Seventy-five.
Carmen: We’re sorry, everyone. Nicole, please —
Riese: It’s seventy-five. Degrees. Here.
Carmen: We’re very serious gay professionals.
[Kamala laughs]
Nicole: Sounds nice.
Kamala: We’re all weather reporters.
[All laugh]
Nicole: We’re pivoting to weather. Um…
Riese: Oh God, that’d be great. I have so many thoughts.
[Carmen laughs]
Kamala: First question! First question!
Nicole: Question! When did you all start creating media on your own? What format did you work in?
Kamala: Ooh! Who wants to go first?
Carmen: I can go first ‘cause I feel like both of you actually have careers in media and I don’t. So, I feel like, might as well get this out of the way.
Riese: We’re not starting in childhood?
Carmen: No I did not. In fact I think I might be the only senior editor who did not keep a diary as a child or a journal because I hated the fact that I couldn’t keep up with it every day. So, I quit it because I didn’t like having missing days.
Kamala: A determined ethos.
Riese: Perfect is the enemy of done.
Carmen: I got into media by the Autostraddle comments, which is an actual fact. I used to write a lot of very in-depth television commentary in Heather and Riese’s recaps and they were really patient about it for a really long time. That is a fact about how I got started. I was finishing my PhD at the time in Black and Latino history. I pivoted out of that because it was causing me a lot of depression, which is fine because we made it through, and around the time I was like “wow I cannot do this with my life” Heather emailed me and was like “You seem like you like television. Would you like to recap Orange is the New Black?” Which is the first thing I ever wrote, in a media setting, ever, in my life. And that was a little over three years ago, three years ago last June. And that’s how I got my start in media!
Kamala: Yeah, Heather. Good call.
[All giggle]
Riese: Who goes now?
Kamala: You should go now.
Riese: Um…well, I first started making media in the mid-80’s. I made a newspaper for my neighborhood. It had recipes and it also had weather, so, to bring it back around. And just like little stories about things happening in the neighborhood. Then I advanced from there. I also made a newsletter for my family, just about things happening in the family with my grandparents and stuff. And I think that was probably my first big journey into media. Around like ‘86.
Kamala: Your like family media is where it’s at.
Riese: Yeah, yeah. I just want to write about people I know. I want to share information. I like making stuff. I’d also make programs for plays that didn’t exist and cast all my favorite actors.
[Kamala laughs]
Kamala: You should still do that. Like, that would still be cool.
Carmen: Oh! I wrote three pieces of One Day at a Time fanfiction. So, it exists.
Riese: Ooh! What was your name. Where did you post them?
Carmen: I am never telling that. It does not exist.
Kamala: You have to tell. You don’t have to tell on this, but maybe at a different time.
Carmen: It’s not, it’s not great guys.
Riese: I’m gonna figure it out.
Kamala: I feel like Riese will figure it out.
Carmen: It’s Kamala’s turn.
Kamala: I wrote a lot of stories when I was younger. I made up a lot of stuff, and I continue to do that to this day. I used to write little books. I also had a newspaper. I had blogs. I also used to make films and video. I just I don’t know. My mom was like, “I don’t know why you think you’re so important,” but that is what I’ve been doing.
Riese: Yeah, this also means I have a lot of stuff. Like I have several huge boxes of a series of novels I wrote when I was seven.
Kamala: Same.
Riese: Yeah, mine was about a baseball team of little monsters.
Carmen: Wow. Mine was about Evil Queen and Maleficent having sex, so.
Kamala: Oh, woah. Okay, so we’re gonna find them later.
Carmen: You’re literally. I’m going to go and delete them.
Riese: I’m going to find them tonight.
Kamala: Okay that’s it.
Nicole: Next question? Alright. Okay, so, this is from someone who says, “I am so excited about the vision for this website. In particular, I appreciate what Kamala articulated in her letter from the editor, a fresh new vision for Autostraddle about centering intersectional Black and Brown queerness, and recognizing the multiplicity of identities and struggles our community experiences. My question is about the how-will-we-bring-this-vision-to-life part of the letter. Full disclosure: I’m a white, queer, disabled, non-binary woman. I’m wondering: as you set goals to increase representation from writers and artists of color on the website, what steps do you plan to take to center queer writers and artists of color who also hold other marginalized identities.
Relatedly, how are you building flexibility into your implementation of Vision One so that it can shift and grow to be interconnected with your other visions in mutually supportive, non-linear, non-hierarchical ways? And do you have any sense of a timeframe for when other parts of your vision might be ready?”
I’m gonna put this one in the chat, too, because it’s long, but good — solid.
Kamala: No, it’s a good question. I’m gonna talk to some part of it, and then I think that Carmen can talk to other parts of it. Yeah, softball question right there. One of the things that we were thinking about when we were creating multiple parts of the vision was that we do want them to intersect and we do want them to be in conversation, so I think that’s an inherent part of the vision, and I think, especially, when we’re talking about vision one, we we are thinking about all people of color, which includes trans people, which includes people with disabilities. It includes people in other countries. It includes people of all varied interests. So, I do think we are thinking about that, even within our measured, numeric goals. Um and I think we plan to think about those goals when we make goals for the next ones. Which is why I didn’t do them all at once, because we wanted them to build off of each other, and I think, timeframe-wise, this fall, we just all want time to build them together. Yeah.
Carmen: Um, I think can I build from there?
Kamala: Yeah, go.
Carmen: I think that is 100% right. So, when Kamala and I first started imagining what we wanted to do with Autostraddle in our new chapter, the first thing we did was, or the first thing I did was, I looked at the original Autostraddle mission statement which is still on our website right now. And I highlighted everything in pink that I believed in wholeheartedly. And then I sent it to Kamala and I was like I wanna build from here. And one thing that Kamala sent me while we were building it was this one definition of intersectional feminism that really spoke to me. And the number one reason it kind of rang in my heart was thinking of people of color not as a monolith, and thinking about what does it mean to have people of color who are disabled, people of color who are from other countries, who have different experiences beyond ours.
We just hired a writer today from the Bahamas I think? Who is going to write about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, so I think the thing that really matters to me is not just thinking about queer and trans people of color as a singular group, but as a group that has a lot of intersections of marginalized identities and struggles and how we’re able to push all of that forward. I don’t know if that answered all of those questions. On non-linear and non-hierarchical ways: I believe in collective work and responsibility, which you’re also going to see in my letter when I finish writing it. It doesn’t ever work if it doesn’t have all of us on it, and that’s all of us on leadership team, that’s all of us on the Autostraddle team and our writers, that’s you guys reading along and sharing it. I believe that work is done in a group if it’s gonna matter at all, and that’s what I hope to bring as leadership to this website.
Riese: I think that’s also something that when we were interviewing candidates for Deputy Editor last year that Kamala’s vision was very collective, and that was something that appealed to all of us about it and really put her close to the top of the pile.
Carmen: Sure did.
Riese: So yeah, it was definitely something I’m excited to see what you guys do.
Kamala: Me too. I’m excited.
Riese: We’re working now on a lot of the accessibility issues within our website. Some of them we already had structures in place, but we weren’t really enforcing them so we’re working on that. We’re also working on — I’ve been transcribing podcasts all day. We’re working on parts of the website where we can do better in a lot of different ways and working with our tech team to implement different plugins and stuff like that that will make our website more accessible to more people.
Carmen: Yeah.
Kamala: Yeah.
Riese: Yeah.
Carmen: Yeah.
Kamala: Do you feel that covers it all? Should we move on?
Carmen: I feel like that was such a long question I’m not sure we even did it all.
Kamala: Yeah I think the last part was about how the pillars won’t be in an order, and yeah, they’re together. We’re thinking of them as a group of things we’re focusing on together and they’re not separate. I think we carry those things with us a lot. Like a lot of us hold many different identities at once and we’re thinking about that.
Carmen: I think of the pillars and the visions — we’ve only just started — as structuring a house. I imagine it like we’re building a house right now. And we have a really strong foundation and we’re building walls up. And I think — well maybe not a house. Autostraddle’s already built a house. Maybe a second floor.
[Riese giggles]
Carmen: This analogy’s failing really quickly.
Kamala: We’re putting in appliances.
Riese: We’re building an addition.
Kamala: We want a dishwasher.
Carmen: Thank you Vanessa for seeing the house. I appreciate this. So that’s it and one of our writers, Ari, has something on their Twitter bio which is “I’m happiest when the answer is ‘both and’” and that’s something I’m trying to keep in our energy and space, with what Kamala was saying.
Nicole: That’s fantastic! So! Next question? We ready? So, this one is: Riese can you explain what your role is now that you are no longer Editor in Chief, what do your two other jobs look like?
Riese: Well, I’m still CEO and CFO, so I’m working a lot on a lot of different projects that are kind of behind the scenes, like SEO stuff, overall budgets that I create and give to individual departments, setting financial goals, setting traffic goals, stuff like that. I’m trying to do at least 50% of my work on writing. I just want to write more for the site, so I’ll be doing a lot more of that. And also another big project right now is reorganizing the site to make it more search engine friendly and also so that people can find the content that they’re looking for because it’s not really easy to do that right now and it hasn’t been really organized, so I’m pretty excited about that. I’m also working on a book in my free time, so, yeah.
Carmen: Wanna hear about the book! Wanna hear about the book! Someone in the chat should ask about the book!
Riese: It’s a long story. It’s a long story.
[Kamala laughs]
Carmen: Yes, Sheila. Thank you. Sheila wants to know about the book, too. Let me know if you have time at the end. Thank you!
Nicole: Yeah we can save that one for maybe for the end. That would be great. I think we have time for one more question from you all. Another one that came from a reader. I hope that they’re all from readers: “As a trans man who formerly identified as a lesbian, I have long enjoyed the content on Autostraddle. Do you have any plans to create content to help trans men feel included in the community?
Carmen: Yeah
Kamala: Yep
Carmen: That’s the answer to that is yes. Some might have more to say, but the strongest answer I have for that is yes. I think for me at least, something that I was really passionate about and that I think Autostraddle did something that was really important in the last ten years, which was that they said that trans women have space on our website, and that Autostraddle’s stance is that trans women are women and trans lesbians are lesbians and trans bisexual people are bisexual and so on and so forth. And I think that when we think about a larger conversation that is still happening in lesbian spaces and queer women spaces that this is an important stance. I also believe, it’s part of my vision at least, that that’s not the only stance we can take. My queer community definitely involves having trans men and nonbinary people and that’s my everyday life and I think that’s most of our everyday life and that’s an everyday life I want reflected on our website when people open it and they can feel like ‘that looks like me.” That’s what I have to say about that.
Kamala: No, I agree. And I know that some other question mentioned that our language was weird in the vision and I think that part of it is that we want to include everyone and we want to pointedly include everyone, and that sometimes means language is exclusive when you use it to be specific so it’s been really hard to figure out what exactly to say. Yes we want trans men on our website. They’re a part of our communities. And also we want to recognize that there is a lot of history and culture for and by lesbians that we also want to maintain and that there is a place for nonbinary people here. We want to reflect the diversity of people who are here and that are in our communities and who we love. And also we’re still working on the language for how to say that in a succinct way.
Carmen: The thing is both of us talking about that took three minutes and we don’t have that much space when we’re writing, but we’re working on it. Yeah. And it’s true. I also want to shout out Xoai who is going to be in our next group. She’s been doing a lot of really cool work. I’ve seen at least a handful if not more just from this summer alone of pieces that were by trans men that really meant a lot to me. Excited to see that continue to grow as well.
Nicole: I think we have room for one more if that’s okay. Are you all okay?
Carmen: Yep.
Nicole: “Autostraddle’s recent hires have been fantastic. It’s exciting to see Autostraddle moving in the direction of more specialized editorial staff. Has there been any discussion around bringing some sort of global editor on over in the next couple of years considering that 40% of AS readers live outside the U.S.?”
Kamala: Who wants to take this one?
Riese: I think that if we had full robust funding — yeah, absolutely, that would be in our plan. We’re looking for a lot of ways that we can make our international readers [feel seen] because that 40% is split between dozens and dozens of countries, even when we’re thinking about time zones for events, thinking about how we’re embracing our international readers, and making content with them in mind, and having writers from around the world. I would love to have that at some point, but it will probably, just to be frank about finances and stuff, I don’t think it would be this year. But that sounds really interesting.
Carmen: I was going to piggy back on that, but I’m actually going to pivot to Kamala because I’ve talked a lot, and then I will —
Kamala: You have not!
Riese: No, you haven’t!
Kamala: I was just going to say that I think that a lot of things we would want someone to cover globally, we would also want to cover in other areas. So, like, parsing out the singular identity of someone as being international is just one way that they might be and we can also fit international perspectives into other kinds of content and that’s a huge priority of ours, too. When we talk about diversity, we do mean everyone. We’re just trying to figure out ways to do it. I don’t think it’s going to be easy to set really granular goals with that with metrics right now, but we are carrying that in our heads as we go around and do stuff and talk to each other and give each other feedback.
Carmen: We think that part of that and we’re hoping that you’re seeing it and if you haven’t seen it yet, you’ll continue to see it moving forward. We’ve done more international television coverage in the past few weeks and that is something that will be continuing moving forward. We’ve also done more — I don’t if Bailey’s on the chat right now — but I know Bailey signed up for the event, but has been killing it bringing us stuff that has been happening in Europe, in London and stuff that has been happening for QTPOC across the pond. And I really appreciate it.
Riese: And Sally.
Carmen: I think that Sally’s been doing that as well as Riese just said and that is something I hope to continue to see us growing. We can still do queers on the street. Another thing I want to be thinking about with global is not just Europe or Australia but what is happening on the continent of Africa, what’s happening in the Caribbean. I’m very invested in understanding that, and I think that is something we’ve been trying to pull more from as well.
Riese: It’s also something I’m thinking about in the re-organization of the site is that’s definitely a type of content. Sort of like we’ve discussed, you don’t always know from the title of the personal essay that this is somebody talking about the place that you’re from or a place you’re interested in reading about, so we’re trying to think of ways to signal that for everybody. And also within the TV team right now, we are building an immediate plan to cover a lot more international programming. That’s something we talked about earlier this week, and we’re moving on that.
Carmen: Yeah, we are! Yeah, thank you Kayla! Can I have 2 minutes for Riese’s book.
Riese: It’s a long story, it really is!
Carmen: Ok!
Riese: It’s based on a true story and it ends with me starting Autostraddle because I was sad.
Carmen: I want to read that book!
Kamala: That’s a good story.
Carmen: Yeah, I want that story!
Riese: It’s about a friend who was a big part of our lives for a while who did a lot of stuff with us and turned out to be a liar about everything.
Carmen: Fun, well the lying part isn’t fun.
Riese: Yeah, it’s like a scammer story but she didn’t steal anything, she gave us stuff.
Kamala: That’s very gay.
Carmen: That’s a good pitch, you should write that one down.
Riese: Yeah, emotional scammer. I had to process a lot of fake deaths with her.
Kamala: I also have a book based on a true story, too.
Carmen: Yeah Kamala has a book too! Sorry when is that coming out? I talked over you.
Kamala: October 19th.
[Talking all at once about the book’s release date which is October 19th]
Riese: Tell us what it’s about!
Nicole: Kamala, you should drop a link to your book in the chat!
Kamala: I should! [Note: Here is the link to the book.] That’s a really good idea. Um, it’s about me, a version of me when I was 25 and biking around Chicago, trying to reconnect with my friends, but they were all growing in different directions. And then also it’s a friend love story, and there’s another love story, and there’s a lot of going to parties and talking to people.
Riese: That sounds great!
Kamala: I think it’s pretty fun!
Carmen: That sounds really effin’ gay. That’s the gay agenda.
Kamala: Yeah, that’s my gay agenda which is going to parties and talking to people which is a little hard right now.
Nicole: Thank you all!
Carmen: Oh my God, yay! Is this it? Do we say bye now?
Nicole: Yay! Alright! And I also just want to point out that we are fundraising right now. You can hit that button down at the bottom of the screen to go to the fundraising site, and if you want to see more writing on the site, more freelancers, more work, that’s how you make it happen.
Carmen: Yeah, it is.
Kamala: Yeah, we need that.
Carmen: I hope this answered questions and if you have more, if you want to leave them in the chat, we always want to hear more from you guys in figuring out how to build our community for all of us.
Nicole: Thanks all!
Carmen: Bye!
Riese: What do I do?
Nicole: I’m taking care of it, it’s good. Next up we’re going to have Rachel, Vanessa and Xoai. I am bringing them on-screen right now. Hi!
Rachel: Hey, Nicole you’re killing it.
Vanessa: Hi!
Nicole: Hey everyone.
Rachel: It’s good to see you guys.
Nicole: Yes, thank you.
[Here the recording cuts out]
Again! I am so, so sorry about this! Unfortunately, I can’t transcribe what I don’t have recorded, but I did my best to get you notes below about the questions given to the next two groups.
Group 2: Xoai, Rachel, Vanessa
A note about the below: For ALL questions related to wanting to see more folks of a specific identity or intersection of identities, you can always pitch Kamala or the team. Because when it comes to making sure we’re bringing you writing from people of diverse and intersecting identities…the answer is yes we want to!
Q: Going forward, how are you going to center stories of bisexual women, specifically acknowledging, validating, and celebrating queer women in relationships with men?
Notes from a discussion with Rachel in response to this question:
- We are focusing on creating content that includes a spectrum of bisexual experience and voices, rather than a monolith, and that includes bisexual identity in larger conversations and as part of discussing other lived experiences as well – because it is tied in with all our lived experiences! Our community is huge, the largest group within the LGBTQ acronym, and we would love to host forums for conversation and multiplicity that reflects that, and includes bi women dating men as part of that conversation as a matter of course, without singling them out and thereby implying they’re an aberration or ‘other’
- We’re prioritizing as well material realities and impacts of both identity and marginalization – for instance, when we see high rates of intimate partner violence or social isolation for bi people, how does that connect with the realities of dating men, and also layered realities like the fact that statistically a bi person is more likely to ID as being trans or of color than a gay or lesbian person. I’d would love to center the way that these things play out in terms of our material experiences and needs!
- We’re exploring new avenues for connection with each other and within the community and mutual/peer support, which is key for addressing isolation and alienation; bi women dating men can meet each other (and other bi people).
- Pitch me! (Pitch Rachel!)
Q: For Xoai, You wrote a letter recently that outlined some of your goals or vision for your role at Autostraddle. Who are your biggest dream “gets” or your biggest dream projects to bring to the site for any kind of work?
Note from Nicole: Xoai spoke, among many other things, about wanting to engage with trans stories from around the world and also about de-centering white and/or western ideas/narratives around trans people. She had an idea, also, for a global travel show centered on the experiences of trans people that would be really awesome to see come to life in a post-pandemic world! The best I can say without being able to provide a transcript is to watch Xoai continue to work and bring us incredible pieces like those that have published on this site since Xoai joined the team.
Q: How are you going to center fat people, especially superfat people, on Autostraddle? It is amazing to see more fat-related content such as Anatomy of a Mango and What I Wore. And I hope you will continue to publish even more fat content.
Note from Vanessa: “We have published quite a bit of content written by fat people over the years, although there is of course always space for more and room for improvement and I personally would love more superfat people writing things for us. We also hosted a “Fat, Erotics, & Embodiment” workshop with Jules Pashall for Shelter In Our Place 2, and I’d LOVE to work with more fat and superfat folks on community programming.”
Here are some links Vanessa wanted to include for you:
PHOTOESSAY: Shoog & Zaire on Proving the Divinity Of Fat Folks
PHOTOESSAY: Merqueen of the Springs
Like a Little Act of Vengeance: F*cking While Fat
Fat Liberation Is the Future
Proudly Black, Fat, Queer and Making a Home for Myself in Cosplay
An Ode to Fat Tomboy Femmes: Effortlessly Cool Plus-Size Outfits
Fatventure Mag Is Here to Reshape the Way We Tell Stories About Fat People and Adventures
Rebecca Alexander Is the Queer Fat Woman Behind AllGo, an App That Will Change the World for People of Size
Countdown to Baby T. Rex: Loving My Fat Mama Self and Itchy All Over (33 Weeks)
Fat-Booty Butch Wears Leggings — Confuses World, Confronts Self
Fat, Trans and (Working on Being) Fine With It
Another Note from Vanessa on the question regarding including trans men at Autostraddle that was also answered by the first group: “As the community editor, my plans include making sure Autostraddle’s community is inclusive to every single queer person who wants to be here, and as a cis woman, my plans include listening to trans people about what they want and need from Autostraddle. I don’t have a formal plan to create content that helps trans men continue to feel included because I’m not sure what that looks like from my limited cis perspective – but I am very very open to being in dialogue with trans men about what y’all want and need. Please email me (vanessa [at] autostraddle [dot] com) – can be with pitches, but can also just be with wants / needs / hopes / dreams / etc.”
Group 3: Heather, Sarah, Riese, and Nicole
Notes: This group mostly talked to YOU, our community, about the fact that we are working to do these things that you want us to do and to bring you the content and stories from folks you want to hear. We can’t do any of this without your support, though! Heather pointed out that since July 2019 (and before then, too), we’ve been working to transform this space, to make it bigger and better and we’re so close to FINALLY bringing you the Autostraddle that you’ve been telling us you want!
Heather was also VERY COY about not revealing her plans for TV coverage in the fall, so I guess we’re all just going to have to wait and see.
We’re REALLY EFFING THRILLED to be able to say that you’ve funded us through the end of 2020 because we are setting up our leadership and team for to do the things that you want to see us do. If you want to hear more about that, Carmen wrote a bit about what’s next in her thank you letter. And in general, THANK YOU for getting this far in this post, thank you for reading, thank you for being here and participating in the process of talking about what we want this community to be — for all of us. Thank you for your trust.
Photoessay: Queer Soup Night Arrives in Portland
Photography by Celina Flores
Sunday, April 15 was a rainy night in Portland, OR but Liberty Glass was packed. Queers huddled under the covered patio, gathered around small tables, and stood by the bar, eating soup and connecting with friends old and new.
Upstairs, three talented queer chefs doled out generous portions of three unique soups (dairy-free, gluten-free, nut-free, and vegetarian options were all available, obviously) and encouraged guests to grab a piece of sourdough bread before heading downstairs to enjoy their bowls.
A donation box sat on a table by the front door, where folks contributed anywhere from $10-$20 to the beneficiary of the evening, Next Lvl, a local organization of womxn whose tagline is “partying for social justice” and whose mission is to “provide Portland with safe, inclusive event spaces where attendees find concrete opportunities to participate in activism while directly raising money and awareness for various organizations and communities.” Next to the table, a handsome redhead stood passing out flyers, inviting folks to save the dates for Illage Summer Camp, a queer adult camp that takes place every August.
Welcome to Queer Soup Night – the very first one to take place in Portland, OR.
Queer Soup Night originated in Brooklyn, NY, founded by Liz Alpern in the wake of Trump’s election. Wanting to nourish and support her community, she dreamed up the simple yet powerful concept: choose a local organization that could benefit from a monetary donation, make some delicious soup, invite queers to donate money and eat soup and connect with community, then donate all the funds to the chosen organization. The event has had great success in Brooklyn, and is now expanding to other cities. Sunday’s event was the first in Portland, and if the size of the crowd and the donation – $1,200 to Nxt Lvl – are any indication, there will be many more PDX Queer Soup Nights to come.
Queer Soup Night Portland was headed up by Risa Lichtman, who worked closely with Liz Alpern and Kathleen Cunningham from Queer Soup Night Brooklyn to bring the event to the Pacific Northwest. The chefs for Queer Soup Night Portland were Risa Lichtman of Lepage Food & Drinks, Les Rendon of Marukin Ramen, and Arlyn Montas of Platano Rising.
Risa made creamed leek and seasonal raab soup with crispy leeks & aleppo chili oil, Les made edamame miso dumplings in mushroom mirin broth, and Arlyn made asopao de camarones y pollo: a traditional soup from the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico with fish stock, potatoes, rice, chicken and shrimp. Fresh sourdough bread was made by Shardell Dues of Red Sauce Pizza.
The beneficiary for Queer Soup Night Portland’s inaugural event was Nxt Lvl and it was co-sponsored by Illage Summer Camp.
All photographs in this post were taken by Celina Flores. You can find her at her website or on Instagram.
Photoessay: Electric Dirt and Radical Community with Queer Appalachia
Editor’s Note (September 2020): When we published this article on August 31, 2017 we believed Queer Appalachia when they described both their collective organization structure and what they were doing with the funds they raised. On August 3, 2020 Emma Copley Eisenberg wrote an investigative piece in The Washington Post Magazine titled “The Tale of Queer Appalachia,” bringing into question how the organization is run and where the money they have raised over the years really goes. We are leaving this article up, but urge readers to check out Eisenberg’s piece and to stop giving money to Queer Appalachia until they provide clarity and confirmation about where the funds are going and who they are really supporting.
Photography by Hollis Brooks
The Queer Appalachia Project held its first meet up this past weekend, at Urban Orchard Brewing Co in Asheville, North Carolina. The night raised funds for Southerners on New Ground‘s Black August Bail Out action, directly bailing out black women, queer and trans folks across the south that are being held due to the corrupt money bail system in the prison industrial complex — a system that criminalizes and financially penalizes poverty. The fundraiser was very much the foundation of the event.
Queer Appalachia unveiled the cover of their upcoming zine Electric Dirt: A Celebration of Queer Voices and Identities from Appalachia and the South.
The collective has been fundraising all spring, taking pre-orders for the publication to pay for the printing cost. “When we first started fund-raising, we had no idea what kind of zine we would be making, at the very beginning, I thought it would be made with a glue stick and a Kinko’s card,” said QA member Gina Mamone. With so much overwhelming support from their community, the first issue of Electric Dirt will have 100 full color pages and include new work from Carter Sickles, Chani Nicholas, an in-depth interview with the Affrilachian Poets and the announcement of a special community partnership with the FoxFire Foundation that will be at the heart of every issue of the publication written by the foundations Executive Director.
The evening included a Hootenanny Photo Booth by West Virginia artist Kayleigh Phillips; Pansy Fest (Asheville Queer Political Production Collective) tabled selling their Southern Queers Against Southern Pride merch & zines; Katy Ross, a Tennessee based PhD candidate conducted & scheduled interviews all night for her research that focuses on gender identity and social support in Appalachia. QA collaborated with local monthly Queer Granny Witch dance party HEX to be the official after party, with all profits from the weekend’s HEX benefiting Asheville’s Justice For All Project. JFAP helps low-income immigrants navigate complex immigration laws, with a goal of citizenship.
The meet-up idea came from within the community; from the very beginning of the project, folks have been pretty verbal in sharing how isolated they feel, especially in this hyper-polarized political climate. Unless you’re lucky enough to live in a college/university town or one of the few urban / cultural hubs in the region, it could mean a 4-5 hour round trip drive just to have dinner with friends / connect with other queer folks. Hopefully the people that come together and connect at an event like this will keep in touch through social media. Ideally, they keep hanging out, creating community and helping to lessen the loneliness and isolation that rural queers can often feel.
Electric Dirt: A Celebration of Queer Voices and Identities from Appalachia and the South heads to the printers at the end of September, pre-orders are shipping end of October/early November. Pre-order prices are about to end; get your copy now.
PHOTOESSAY: Dinah Dinah Dinah
This year I decided to DO Dinah (as opposed to last year when I ran away and went camping). It’s basically “how long can I survive in the heat before I die” and then “how long can I stay at this party before I pass out” and repeat.
Things to bring:
- sunscreen
- phone charger
- swim suit
- something to put over your swimsuit
- some sort of white-ish outfit
- donuts
- your dog (if your lodging allows)
DAY 1
LA —> Palm Springs
I had the privilege of being housed by the Stuzo Clothing team and Girls With Flair at their rental.
And we were off to the opening party.
Devmo
Back at the house, Stuzo was hard at work getting ready for the weekend.
DAY 2
We took a morning swim.
And were off to the pool party.
Goodboy
I checked into the Saguaro for some rest. I highly recommend having a place to hideaway from the action.
And then it was time for the White Party.
Us, kind of wearing white.
DAY 3
We woke up and caught some pool time at the hotel.
And headed back to the Hilton for another day in the sun.
I escaped to another friend’s rental for some quiet pool time.
He called shotgun
And back to the hotel for a nap.
And some evening bocce ball
Then it was time for the “Hollywood Party”
Angel Haze
We ended up at a house party and this happened…
DAY 4
Woke up early and headed to the Hilton to catch Madison Paige opening the final “Wet and Wild” pool party.
Madison Paige
Then I headed over to the Ace to catch some mellower vibes.
Romy
And with a milkshake from “Great Shakes”…
We were
And without a sunburn which is a MAJOR accomplishment.
PHOTOESSAY: Outside Lands 2015
Outside Lands in San Fransisco is my favorite of the big festivals because it’s cooler (in temperature), and generally less annoying. I used to festival regularly when I could still handle intense crowds, dehydration, and some of the mellowest sets in an afternoon turning into a rave.
But anyways. Outside Lands. It’s chilly, there are trees, there’s great music and delicious food. You should go.
Here’s a playlist of mostly everyone who was there. Listen, cry, plan to go next year. Also if you play it and slowly scroll through this photo essay it’ll be just as good and you won’t have to leave your couch.
Playlist:
The first thing I did, and arguably the greatest thing I have ever done in my entire life, is eat this Donut Bacon Cheeseburger from a restaurant called Straw’s booth.
Yeah, I could have just gone home and it would have been worth the trip.
Me, avoiding crowds
St. Vincent
St. Vincent
Tig Notaro and Andy Kindler
Jeff Tweedy of Wilco
Billy Idol, who was incredible. Like almost as good as that burger.
G-Eazy
Me, avoiding crowds II
Kendrick Lamar
Outside Lands Selfie
Ryn Weaver
Dan Deacon
Final day feels
The worst part of festivals. Literally hell.
Elton John’s crowd was emotional
And for once, I wasn’t avoiding the crowd.
Goodnight, Outside Lands
See you there next year!
You Should Go: Autostraddle Babe-B-Q Weekend is (Almost) Upon Us!
Good news, kids! This weekend, Autostraddle’s Babe-B-Q celebration is coming to a backyard, fire pit, and/or other totally appropriate location near you. And I’ve rounded up all of the events our readers are hosting to be part of the action in this very post!
If you’re upset that nobody in your neighborhood is hosting a Babe-B-Q, my advice is to be the meet-up you wanna see in the world. Hosting is as easy as 1-2-3, in which 1 is “pick a date and time,” 2 is “choose an RSVP mechanism, most likely a FB event,” and 3 is “submit it right here.” And if you’re planning to host but haven’t quite gotten around to formalizing those plans yet, don’t worry! All Babe-B-Q events submitted to us this week will be added to this post as they’re received. (We’ve also got some great social media images for all y’all hosting events, which you can find in this post.)
We’ll be guiding you all through the rest of the Babe-B-Q planning process this week with a slew of posts that will help you pick out your BBQ looks, plan your menus, and otherwise get in the grilling spirit. And when you’re finally soaking up the sun together this weekend, don’t forget to use the hashtag #AutoBabeBQ to show us what’s goin’ on! (We’ll probably even reshare your posts on our Twitter and Insta accounts, if that floats your boat!)
And now, without further ado, let’s get listing. And grilling! And loving. And laughing, breathing, whatever, I never memorized the song.
Australia
Melbourne 8/16: Bring the Babes, Minus the BQ
Venue: My Place
4/35 Sherwood Rd, Ivanhoe
Melbourne, Victoria 3079
Australia
Event Date: 2015-08-16
Start Time: 03:00 pm
Host: Al
Sydney: An #AutoBabeBQ Minus the BBQ
Venue: Camperdown Rest Memorial Park
Newtown, NSW 2131
Australia
Event Date: 2015-08-22
Start Time: 11:30 am
Host: Dina
United States
Austin: Backyard #AutoBabeBQ
Venue: 2505 E 9th St
Austin, TX 78702
Event Date: 2015-08-16
Start Time: 05:00 pm
End Time: 09:00 pm
Host: Valerie Blakey
Chicago: North Side #AutoBabeBQ
Venue: Jarvis Beach
1208 W Jarvis Ave
Chicago, IL
60626
United States
Event Date: 2015-08-16
Start Time: 02:00 pm
End Time: 08:00 pm
Host: Sarah Goldberg
Denver: Birthday, Brandi, and #AutoBabeBQ!
Venue: Chez Prenticciaro
3942 Milwaukee st
Denver, Colorado
80205
United States
Event Date: 2015-08-16
Start Time: 06:30 pm
End Time: 10:30 pm
Host: Paula
Dover: New Hampshire #AutoBabeBQ
Venue: Catherine’s Abode!
Event Date: 2015-08-16
Start Time: 02:00 pm
End Time: 08:00 pm
Host: Catherine Rawson
Long Island: Sisters Of The Yam #AutoBabeBQ Celebration
Venue: Eisenhower Park
Merrick and Stewart avenues
East Meadow, NY 11554
United States
Event Date: 2015-08-15
Start Time: 12:00 pm
End Time: 03:00 pm
Host: Gigi
Los Angeles: Backyard #AutoBabeBQ Potluck
Venue: Backyard
1718 Hauser Blvd
Los Angeles, CA
90019
United States
Event Date: 2015-08-15
Start Time: 02:00 pm
End Time: 09:00 pm
Host: Carmen SanDiego
Southern California 8/16: #AutoBabeBQ at the Beach
Venue: Huntington Beach
Hutington Beach, California
United States
Event Date: 2015-08-16
Start Time: 11:15 am
Host: Al
Washington, DC 8/15: #AutoBabeBQ Potluck
Venue: Summer Vibe Haus
Washington, DC 20002
United States
Event Date: 2015-08-156
Start Time: 03:00 pm
Host: Carmen
Venir Al Sur Creates Vital LGBTI Feminist Community In Latin America
Editor’s note: Quotes have been translated from Spanish by the author.
Revolution brews in the moments of recognition — of self, of others, of community — that occur in LGBTI spaces in Latin America. Last weekend, 200 lesbians, bisexuals, trans women and other trans people, intersex people and gay men descended upon San José, Costa Rica for the 2nd Encuentro LesBiTransInter-Feminista Venir Al Sur to learn, play and create a space where they could see each other profoundly.
That community building is vital for the many LGBTI latinxs who don’t have much access to it in their daily lives. As Nicaraguan musician and activist Gaby Baca put it: “It’s important to be able to come together and realize you’re not the only one in the barrio.”
During the encounter, the barrio got pretty big. Folks came from Mexico, Argentina and everywhere in between, as well as Spain, for three days of workshops, cultural presentations and a raucous and beautiful closing march. We made sex toys from recyclable materials; examined themes like the body and pleasure, diverse feminisms and horizontal activist structures; practiced self-defense; and drank not a small number of $2 beers.
Colocha Estrada teaches feminist self-defense around Central America.
The first Venir Al Sur was in 2012 in Paraguay, and very few Central Americans could attend, which was part of the motivation for holding the second iteration in Costa Rica. At some points, organizers feared the event wouldn’t be possible. Though Costa Rica is one of the most progressive and LGBTI-friendly countries in Central America, anti-gay sentiments are present at all levels of life. They struggled to find a space to host them in the capital and eventually had to call on personal contacts to secure space at the Culture Ministry.
“Even then, we couldn’t be explicit about what kind of workshops we would be hosting,” said organizer Paulina Torres. “But, every conversation with an official was a chance for illumination. We definitely had to push the system.”
Grants and donations from Central American and international organizations covered almost all costs for the participants, which was crucial and ensured that financial capacity wouldn’t block anyone from the event who had something to gain from it.
Stories of systemic exclusion and discrimination abounded — and so did the stories of powerful women disrupting those systems to create survival structures that ripple out into their communities. For example, trans women from around Central America shared the realities they face in their countries in an educational and emotional workshop. In Guatemala, 80% of trans women engage in sex work, most of them because they are blacklisted from other types of jobs and lack any form of state protection. In El Salvador, a trans woman is killed by gangs every two days. In Nicaragua, statistics indicate that 18 to 28% of trans women live with HIV. There is some local and international funding to combat HIV, but not to address any of the other challenges trans women face. Women have organized themselves to confront this grim reality and fight against oppressive political, social and economic structures. In most cities, the division between trans and lesbian activists is stark.
“There are 200 women at this conference, and we are thankful,” said Stacy Velasquez Vasquez, who works with Guatemalan trans advocacy group Reinas de la Noche. “But all those who stayed home continue to stigmatize us as women with penises. [Trans women] must stop being afraid, because fear is a form of violence. If we replace fear with knowledge, we can become safer.”
Different organizations shared they materials they have created in their countries to speak out in favor of trans rights. This poster demands the right to employment opportunities for trans women.
Venir Al Sur was created from a trans-inclusive stance, and transfeminism is a key part of the organization’s politics, said activist Rosa Posa, one of the leaders of the Paraguay Venir Al Sur. Organizers said they believe Venir Al Sur is the first Latin America-wide LGBTI conference that deliberately includes trans women and transfeminism. Certainly, it was the first time most of the trans women participants felt truly welcome in such a space. And it was the first time I and many participants heard speakers use fully gender-inclusive language, like “todes” (everyone, gender-inclusive) instead of “todos y todas” (men and women).
“When I return to El Salvador, I have to survive, and part of my survival will be sharing what I have learned here with my fellow trans women,” said El Salvadorian trans activist Amalia Leiva. “It’s not enough to come here to be activists together and then go home with nothing but un chorro de babas” — a stream of spit.
Latin American feminism emphasizes collectivism, populism and anti-capitalism. It is pro-choice, anti-war and largely secular — though many feminists still identify with their Christian upbringing. It is pushing itself towards anti-racism and trans-inclusion. But, at a conference with 200 people, there were 200 variations on what feminism can be and how it can be mobilized around Latin America. Such a diverse group required many entry points to formulate new practices of liberation. Each day featured numerous cultural presentations, like a group of Colombian cis men and trans women who performed traditional folkloric dance in majestic rainbow skirts, the irreverent lesbian Mexican cabaret group Las Reinas Chulas and a sexy, challenging theater performance by the feminist collective La Tule, based in Costa Rica.
La Tule invoked themes of body shame, expression, sexuality and gender in a beautiful performance.
And then, after all of that, we marched. I’ve been to feminist and pride marches in Nicaragua, and when we’re not being detained by police, they are raucous, joyful affairs dedicated to increasing visibility and community. But there was something about this one that bubbled up to another plane. From more than a dozen countries, we screamed for an end to racism, capitalism and machismo. We demanded the right for trans people to change their names legally, for access to abortion, for the liberation of the orgasm. Women and men took turns leading chants, and we made ourselves known in front of the general public and a whole squad of firefighters. In front of the Mexican Embassy, we wore out our throats counting to 43 to demand justice for the students massacred from the Ayotzinapa college in Mexico. We detained buses, danced, beat drums and loved each other in the streets of San José.
After a transformative weekend, we scattered on buses and planes back to our respective countries to see how we can implement the changes that will help make all of Latin America safe and vibrant for every body. As a gringa with politics that both do and don’t apply in a Latin American context, I am necessarily more of an observer than anything in these spaces, and I’m deeply grateful for the way that Latin American LGBTI feminism has transformed, contextualized and radicalized my queer feminism. At the encounter, I learned new and critical ways to stand in solidarity with my LGBTI siblings on these continents and watched friends new and old find tools to work harder in their own fights. If you’ve been to A-Camp, you know how hard it is to leave spaces like these and return to a world where every face is not turned toward us in love and solidarity. But, 200 compañerxs are off to their homes, jobs and streets with new tools and support. And Venir Al Sur is already preparing for its next encounter, planned for 2017 in Mexico.
“Dialoguing the themes that we care about and interchanging experiences, this is the essence of ‘encounter,'” Torres said. “But we want to be more people, many more, who are making ruptures in our countries, putting our bodies at the front so they see us, dialoguing so we become stronger. This means we have to find ways to come together and support each other to make it to Mexico, and to keep having encounters in every country until every one of our bodies is free of discrimination.”
The Lezlympics: For the Discerning Lesbian Oil Wrestler
What started as an event founder Morgan Faye created in 2012 to watch lesbians do push ups for her birthday has taken on a life of its own. Now called the lezathlon, there are six events for participating teams to get down and dirty: the obstacle course, wheelbarrow racing, trivia, oil wrestling, balloon popping, and tug of war. Also, it benefits AIDS/LifeCycle so it’s all-around good.
Let me start off by saying that it was hot.
The squad, melting.
The energy in the air was super reminiscent of a sporty lesbian summer camp. Or how I assume a sporty lesbian summer camp would be.
Pusse Possy
Lick It or Ticket and a ref
Gay for Hillary team members
Trivia
Me taking a break because I don’t do well in heat or sun or light or daytime.
Oil wrestling was by far the most intense event. It got serious. Like, an ambulance was called.
Lickalotapuss team members
The trivia scoreboard made for a fun list of team names
Goodboy and BounceHouse repping Milk Milk Lemonade on the tables
And then the nipples were freed.
This particular freeing of the nipple happened not because shirts suck and boobs are great but because of a more personal protest. Last Sunday (pride Sunday in LA), a member of this crowd was arrested for swimming topless in her apartment pool. She was not doing anything reckless, loud, crazy, belligerent, just swimming, with bottoms on. Without warning or a simple request to cover her chest her landlord called the cops and she was cuffed and taken into custody for 6 hours.
This happened in West Hollywood, during pride.
But anyways. Back to the Lezlympics.
Members of Lick It or Ticket
Members of Clam Jam
Members of United Gaytions
Guys, I made a friend.
Pusse Possy tugging
Pusse Possy’s anchor had the right idea.
There’s a pun in here somewhere about Lesbians and U-Hauls.
Members of Butch Please
The Lesbros taking 2nd Place
And the champs were….
Lick It or Ticket
But don’t forget guys, we’re all winners.
You Should Go: Celebrate Your Damn Selves Together at These #AutoPride Meet-Ups!
It’s all happening. There are millions of promotional items being shipped to offices across the country and probably the globe. Somewhere, someone is putting on a rainbow boa. This month, the queers will run wild. IT’S PRIDE, DAMMIT! And since it wouldn’t be a good time without, um, all of us, I highly recommend that each and every one of you spends the month hanging out with one another at #AutoPride meet-ups.
We put out a call early this week for hosts, and even though some of you are probably still in the process of getting your shit together, I wanted to spread the good word about the stuff happening this month as soon as possible. So, if you’re still planning and not ready to commit yet or you don’t see your city listed here and wish you did or you didn’t realize you could submit events to our brand-new, amazing, events listing situation, have no fear! I’ll be updating this post all month and it’s never too late to submit a f*cking meet-up already.
Okay! Here we go! But before we leave, just a reminder to use the hashtag #AutoPride all over your social media accounts when you’re meeting all the beautiful people at these events. Y’know, for posterity.
Australia
Sydney
#AutoPride Meet-Up
Venue: Berkelouw Books
Event Date: 2015-06-27
Start Time: 11:00 am
Europe
Berlin, Germany
#AutoPride Meet-Up
Venue: Nollendorfplatz
Event Date: 2015-06-27
Start Time: 12:00 am
Brighton, United Kingdom
Pre-Pride Gathering
Venue: TBD
Event Date: 2015-07-31
Start Time: 07:00 pm
Dublin, Ireland
Meet-Up at Dublin Pride!
Venue: TBC
Event Date: 2015-06-26
Start Time: 02:00 pm
London, England
Post-Pride Brunch
Venue: Fields Cafe, Clapham Common
Event Date: 2015-06-28
Start Time: 11:00 am
Paris, France
Pre-Pride Picnic
Venue: Parc de la Villette
Event Date: 2015-06-20
Start Time: 01:00 pm
United States
Baltimore
Baltimore Pride Coffee Meetup
Venue: Milk & Honey Market
Event Date: 2015-07-25
Start Time: 02:30 pm
Chicago
Meet-Up at Neo-Futurists Pride Benefit!
Venue: The Neo-Futurarium
Event Date: 2015-06-26
Start Time: 10:45 pm
Dyke March Meet-Up
Venue: Western & Division, Approx. 1150 N. Western Ave.
Event Date: 2015-06-27
Start Time: 01:30 pm
#AutoPride Meet-Up at the Parade!
Venue: Outside of Hydrate Nightclub
Event Date: 2015-06-28
Start Time: 11:00 am
Cincinnati
Cincy Straddlers March in the Pride Parade!
Venue: Cincinnati Pride Parade
Event Date: 2015-06-27
Start Time: 10:30 am
Columbus
Straddler Beach Party
Venue: Deer Creek State Park
Event Date: 2015-06-13
Start Time: 10:00 am
2nd Annual Pre-Pride Parade Potluck Brunch
Venue: Ashley and Allison’s Place
Event Date: 2015-06-20
Start Time: 09:00 am
Greensboro
Piedmont Triad Straddlers PRUNCH Meetup
Venue: Center City Park
Event Date: 2015-06-27
Start Time: 01:30 pm
Houston
Brunch Meet-Up
Venue: Baby Barnaby’s
Event Date: 2015-06-21
Start Time: 11:00 am
Indianapolis
Post-Pride Brunch!
Venue: Yolk
Event Date: 2015-06-14
Start Time: 11:00 am
Minneapolis
#AutoPride Yacht Party Meetup!
Venue: St. Croix Boat and Packet
Event Date: 2015-06-19
Start Time: 07:00 pm
Autostraddlers Go To Prom!
Venue: Hell’s Kitchen
Event Date: 2015-06-21
Start Time: 07:30 pm
Pride Open House
Venue: Adrienne’s Apartment
Event Date: 2015-06-28
Start Time: 01:00 pm
New York City
Let’s Do Dyke March Together!
Venue: Bryant Park
Event Date: 2015-06-27
Start Time: 04:30 pm
Rio Grande Valley
Aquí Estamos Poetry Slam Night
Venue: Brownsville Artists&Musicians (BAM)
Event Date: 2015-06-30
Start Time: 07:30 pm
San Diego
#AutoPride Brunch
Venue: Gossip Grill
Event Date: 2015-07-12
Start Time: 11:00 am
San Francisco
#AutoPride Dyke March Meet-Up!
Venue: Mission Playground
Event Date: 2015-06-27
Start Time: 11:00 am
Seattle
#AutoPride Brunch Potluck
Venue: Volunteer Park
Event Date: 2015-06-28
Start Time: 11:30 am
Washington, DC
Booty Rex Pride Party
Venue: The Black Cat
Event Date: 2015-06-12
Start Time: 09:00 pm
‘Straddlers Bustin’ Out for #AutoPride!
Venue: Carmen’s Haus / #SummerVibeHaus
Event Date: 2015-06-19
Start Time: 08:00 pm