dating Archives

butch

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gender

You Need Help: I’m 13 — How Do I Explore My Butch Identity?

Sometimes when you’re exploring a new aspect of your identity, you might feel like you have to emulate something specific. But there’s no one way to be butch. Go out…

Ro White —

Aug 9, 2022

dating

Against a grey background, a Black woman's hand squeezes half of an orange. The juice drips down her wrist. She is wearing black nail polish.

love + sex

Vabbing, the New Trend Where You Use Your Own Vaginal Fluids as Perfume

According to some vabbers, dabbing a little vagina juice behind your ears will make you more sexually attractive to others

Ro White —

Jul 19, 2022

dating

In a room with white walls, a woman with olive skin, long, brown hair and floral tattoos on her lower arm sits in a white bed with her chin in her hand. To her left, a woman with pale skin and short brown hair who is wearing a grey T-shirt sits with her arms crossed.

dating

Competitive Queerness Gives Me the Ick

This residual harm, this chip on the shoulder, this something to prove — they’re proving it to the wrong person. They’re gay-tekeeping.

Yashwina —

May 31, 2022

dating

divorce

A trail cuts through the Mojave Desert at sunrise. A Joshua Tree is visible on the left and desert shrubs are visible on either side.

first person

Fault Lines

She was in the middle of a long divorce, and I had pulverized myself to fit into the life of a secret girlfriend.

Alayna Becker —

Mar 7, 2022

dating

Red Flag

A black and white image shows two women arguing in a kitchen. The woman on the left has pale skin and long, red hair. She is wearing a tank top and gesturing in front of there face. The woman on the right is a Black woman with dark brown skin and long, blonde braids. She is wearing a white tank top and a cardigan, and one of her hands is against her forehead. The image is surrounded by a black, scalloped border with yellow dots.

dating

You’re a Combative Communicator? That’s a Red Flag!

I much prefer relationships that meet confusion with curiosity and center attempts for clarity and mutual understanding.

Chinelo Anyadiegwu —

Mar 2, 2022

dating

Red Flag

A black and white image shows a Black woman in a collared shirt with curly, shoulder-length hair whispering to woman with long, dark hair who has her hand over her mouth in surprise and is also wearing a collared shirt. The image is surrounded by a yellow, scalloped border with black dots.

dating

You Bad-Mouth Every Single One of Your Exes? That’s a Red Flag!

If your partner always portrays themself as the wronged party in the trials and tribulations of past relationships — red flag.

Taneasha —

Feb 24, 2022

dating

ghosting

Against a yellow background, a woman with brown skin and shoulder-length, wavy brown hair puts her hands over her face. She is wearing a sleeveless black shirt and a black watch.

dating

How Ghosting Harms Queer Communities, According to a Philosopher

When I’m ghosted and when others like me are ghosted, it takes on an extra sting.

Em Hernandez —

Feb 17, 2022

dating

Red Flag

A black and white image of a woman with pale skin and chin-length brown hair driving while screaming is surrounded by a black border with yellow dots and scalloped edges.

dating

You Have Road Rage? That’s a Red Flag!

I never felt unsafe with her in the driver’s seat, even when she screamed at other cars. I didn’t feel scared. I felt drained.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Feb 8, 2022

dating

Red Flag

A yellow border with black dots and scalloped edges surrounds a black-and-white image a crumpled up dollar bill and loose change.

dating

You’re a Bad Tipper? That’s a Red Flag!

If someone has to serve you while you flirt relentlessly or converse stiffly, then they should be paid extra for that labor.

Alyse Burnside —

Jan 13, 2022

dating

online dating

A person with dark brown skin and black curly hair wears a light blue shirt with a white tank underneath. They lean on a couch and look at their phone.

dating

I Used to ‘Compensate’ for My Blackness in the Dating World — Now I Embrace It

As a teen, my insecurities made me feel like my Blackness was something that dragged down my worth.

Lola Renn —

Nov 29, 2021