BBC To Survey Audience on LGBT TV and ‘Skins’ Amps Up Its Lesbian Plot

SKINS: Kathryn Prescott spoke exclusively to Digital Spy UK about the upcoming season of Skins:

Prescott teased: “She has a bit of a roller-coaster ride in her episode!”

Asked if Emily/Naomi fans will be disappointed by what happens, she replied: “No, I don’t think so. I’m gonna give stuff away if I keep talking, but they won’t be disappointed!”

She added: “Naomi needs to appreciate Emily a bit more and Emily needs to be a bit tougher because otherwise Naomi will walk over her. But I don’t know how the series ends yet, so I don’t know what’s happening.”

Episode 402 will be a “Naomi & Emily” episode, and spoilers are available here. If you missed their steamy Season Three romance, you can check out our recaps:

Skins Recap, just the Lesbian Parts: The Ballad of Naomi & Emily Part One

Skins Recap Part Two: The Torrid Lesbian Romance of Naomi & Emily.

STUDY: Furthermore, the BBC has commissioned a wide-ranging study to investigate how lesbian, gay and bisexual people are portrayed on TV, radio and online. The three-part project will include will begin with a qualitative research study (in-depth interviews), which will determine the questions for a follow-up quantitative survey (a larger number of multiple-choice interviews) in a few months. Finally, the BBC also wants members of the public to contribute via a public consultation website. The Guardian UK Reports that the study will include those with homophobic views. The research will be published in summer and be made available to other broadcasters.

Once again we have the BBC ftw with the gays. Also in general for bringing us Absolutely Fabulous.

JENNY: Mia Kirshner debuted on Vampire Diaries last night. She’s going to appear in flashbacks as some dude’s wife who got killed by a vampire, solving the age old mystery of who killed Jenny. She was only in the ep for a moment, but she was super cute. Does this remind anyone of anything? TLW Season 1?

JENNY. IT IS MARINA.

COMEDY: Hey NYC-straddlers – the funny (and VERY photogenic!) ladies of Candy Slice Comedy are performing tonight at Gotham City Improv at 10 p.m. $6 gets you in the door. Go check ’em out!

LILITH FAIR: New acts have been added to the lineup, including The Gossip, Heart, La Roux and Loretta Lynn (a;lksdfalsk)! Also, tour stops are listed! YOU GUYS. LILITH FAIR. 2010.

GREY’S: In case you didn’t catch Grey’s Anatomy last night, Callie & Arizona were super adorable. I’m glad those two are allowed to actually touch each other now! And continuing the gay theme, out actress Sarah Paulson will guest star on the show on Feb. 18, when she’ll play a younger version of Meredith’s mom. (@tvguide)

LILO: Lindsay Lohan went to a fundraiser for Haiti on Wednesday. And guess what?? She dyed her hair, guys. I have been hoping for this day for years. Sadly, she went with black, which looks just as unnatural as the blonde. What’s wrong with red, Lindsay?! Nothing, that’s what. (@radar)

JERSEY: So Jersey Shore ended last night, or something? I’m not really hip to that show yet, but I still enjoyed this EW mock-trailer for the Jersey Shore movie. Mila Kunis eating a pickle! (@popwatch)

HAPPY FEET: Brittany Murphy’s husband went on the Today Show and said some kind of odd things. Such as, “Hollywood is a village, and once you upset the villagers, they talk, and they gossip, and they rumor. And they have blood on their hands. And I hope they wash them with very hot water.” Can we just go back to working ‘sporadically’ into a sentence? (@jezebel)

Also, check out Autostraddle’s two new webseries AutoNatic and Julie & Brandy’s Box Office — we have a special teaser for you and it’s gonna be kickass!

Portia De Rossi FTW on Gay Marriage, Hasslebeck’s Brain Leaks Pudding

PORTIA ON THE VIEW: Being a lesbian sometimes means fielding really ridiculous questions like, “How do you have sex?” and “Who’s the man in the relationship?” Elisabeth Hasselbeck managed to take this line of questioning to a new level of numbskullery on The View Friday when she asked Portia De Rossi if the word “marriage” was more important than the act of commitment.  She preempted this deep understanding of words and laws with a strange analogy about women wanting equal rights but not wanting dicks. I have no idea how this woman dresses herself in the morning.

What I wish everyone was talking about, aside from what a complete waste of hair dye Hasselbeck is, is Portia’s story of being a closeted gay actress. She was so terrified of being asked about her personal life, she was actually relieved when the building caught on fire. People! Think about that!

The original title of this post was, “Study Shows More Teens Like Gay People, Just Like We Brainwashed Them To in Kindergarten,” but then I had to change it b/c Portia is more important. But wasn’t that a good title you guys? AM I PRETTY?

GAY-FRIENDLY TEENS: “A study conducted by the Girl Scout Research Institute (GSRI) in partnership with Harris Interactive found that respect and value for diversity has increased over the past 20 years among American youth … More youth also support same-sex relationships and almost half of the youth (in grades 7 – 12) surveyed reported that a friendship would continue unchanged if a friend revealed that s/he was involved in a same-sex relationship. These numbers vary by gender with 84 percent of girls reporting that they would maintain a friendship with a gay or lesbian friend in comparison to 62 percent of boys.” Our own projections conclude that 10 percent of the other boys would prefer to take that relationship to the next level, and the rest should have their balls cut off and don’t deserve nice gay friends, or are scared of gay panic, or else their parents need to be smacked upside the head. The remaining 16% of girls just aren’t ready for this jelly but they will be. (@carnalnation)

CENSORS:Meanwhile the Asshats are still talking about the “openly gay” Obama adviser who wants preschoolers to read books about preschoolers having sex: “Book after book after book contained stories and anecdotes that weren’t merely X-rated and pornographic, but which featured explicit descriptions of sex acts between preschoolers; stories that seemed to promote and recommend child-adult sexual relationships; stories of public masturbation, anal sex in restrooms, affairs between students and teachers, five-year-olds playing sex games, semen flying through the air.” SEMEN FLYING THROUGH THE AIR! That’s probs in the Physics book, I never read Physics.

SPORTS: David Stern believes a woman could be playing in NBA within the next 10 years. “I think we might,” said Stern. “I don’t want to get into all kinds of arguments with players and coaches about the likelihood. But I really think it’s a good possibility.” (@sports illustrated)

OBAMA BRING BACK “ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT”: The fifty best protest signs of 2009. The ones from the other side are the funniest.

MONEY HONEY: Anti-Gay NOM Considered for Chase Bank Charity – “Chase Bank is running a contest called ‘Community Giving’ for users to select charities worthy of receiving a chunk of a 5 million dollar donation by the bank. Among the non-profits listed are the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage. NOM being on the list is a direct violation of Chase’s own non-discrimination policy.” Coincidentally, Chase is Reson #3 I am poor, as they take $300 of my non-existent money every month just to protect me from them charging me more fees and then making me have bad credit. So if they give that fucking money to NOM, I am not kidding this time, I will write a SCUC MANIFESTO and jump off a bridge. (@queersunited)

UPDATE: Now someone has stolen all my remaining money from an ATM in the Bronx without my debit card. So that’s that! BUT HAI LOOK AT THIS:

You’re Welcome for the Lesbian Thanksgiving RomComs & Evangelical Rappers

Today in “America,” it’s Thanksgiving and many Americans are celebrating by eating a lot of food and watching television, often with friends and/or family or frenimies. If you are one of these people I want you to think long and hard before you bite into that turkey drumstick today. I want you to ask yourself: “Would it be okay for Adam Lambert suck on this drumstick during morning television?” Your answer is your business, just think about it. Is all I’m asking.

We have some treats for you in any event, and I’m not just talking about mashed potatoes. Firstly, for all the smarties we have Viewing Turkey Day Through Academic Prism: There is, in fact, a surprising amount of scholarship on the subject of Thanksgiving, a uniquely American celebration marked by rituals that lend themselves to a wide range of interpretations. (@miller-mccune)

THANKSGIVING: Look girls! I bet you didn’t know about this movie What’s Cooking which features a lesbian storyline during Thanksgiving, ’cause I think possibly it sucked. But look, it’s not easy finding a lesbian-themed film or teevee scene for the autostraddle show, which I blame mostly on Ilene Chaiken’s ignorance of the seasons, which I have lamented many times before, as I have only wanted to see Angelica’s face light up on Christmas morning since the day she was born eight years ago or whenever. Well this lesbo-storylined film is called What’s Cooking with Kyra Sedgewick and Juliana Margulies and that woman who always plays the Jewish Mom. She’s so good. Out of central casting, that one.

A scene from before the couple meets all the family:

Trailer:

EVANGELICAL GLORY: “Gimme that Christian Side Hug”

Oh, abstinence-only evangelists. Only you could bring us this gem of a video. Luckily, Feministing is here

REALITY CHECK: Hey fun fact turkey-eaters! “[At The] Pine Ridge Reservation somewhere between 13,000 and 40,000 Oglala Sioux [are] spread across an area the size of Delaware and Rhode Island combined. Unemployment is 89 percent, the few jobs in the tribal bureaucracy or the Prarie Winds Casino. The youth suicide rate is ten times the national average. One in three women is a victim of rape. Life expectancy is roughly equivalent to Somalia’s. Plagues of alcohol, drugs, domestic and gang violence … to grow up here is to be forever aware of what was lost, or to bludgeon onself into forgetfulness.” The full article of “Ghosts of Wounded Knee” is in Harper’s December issue, or online for subscribers only.

THANKS BUT NO THANKS: “If you’re not already at the airport trying to smash your way to the front of a ticket line, you’re probably not visiting relatives this Thanksgiving. You need an excuse besides “they are annoying.” The AP has a bunch!” (@gawker)

GENDER: Sinclair Sexsmith talks about Femme Invisibility – “One of the bottom-line issues about femme in/visibility, for me, is that it is a form of gender discrimination. When someone refuses to recognize a femme as queer, that person is saying, straight women are feminine, dykes are not, therefore your gender presentation trumps anything that might come out of your mouth about how you identify or who you are, and I am more right than you are about your identity.” (@sugarbutch)

PHOTOFINISH: Here’s a new one: bad retouching is now being blamed on the economy. (@models.com)

UNEMPLOYMENT: Hey-o! You’re not the only one! Turn that frown upside down and see how much we’re all alike with this handy unemployment map: the geography of a recession. (@american observer)

NUDITY: Bare breasts don’t result in big box office sales. Really we need a study to show us this? We can see bare breasts wherever we want, obvs, and sex is all over the damn place. We go to the movies to see um … good movies? Or to be entertained? What do you think — does the promise of a steamy sex scene get you in the seat? I think a good sex scene that works within the story can make a great movie even greater, but for sex alone, there’s um, sex.

Autostraddle.com Returns from Sweet’s (Ce)Lesbian Cruise, Is Tired

Photo by JD Disalvatore (look, Brooke is in there!)

Hi ladies! We’re back in New York City after a week of celesbians, alcohol, island-hopping, tanning, friend-making and aggressive networking & interviewing and we are already sad and miss the boat and have been wandering around waiting for someone to feed us. No one has fed us. Actual life is slightly depressing. Where’s our H-List at?

We will have to feed ourselves. So will Jill Bennett, Dani Campbell, Jamie Babbit, Nicol Paone, Erin Foley, Suzanne Westenhoefer, Edie Carey, Gloria Bigelow, Sandra Valls, Kate McKinnon, Cathy DeBuono, Natalie Garcia, DJ Saratonin, JD Disalvatore and all the other ladies who were on the boat. Some of you may read that paragraph and think this sounds like your worst nightmare, and most of you will realize that you must be there next time! Everyone had the chance to really make the trip their own. We like to call ours “Autostraddle’s Life on the Z-List” and we had an awesome awesome time.

Because internet access on the Sweet Caribbean Cruise was about 500 times worse than we even expected, we’ll be playing catch-up all week so bear with us!

You can read our live-blog of the cruise here, and you can also look forward to a ton of features we put together while on board, like interviews with lesbian comics and businesswomen, awesome video of our fantastic adventures and on-board performances, more photos and heaps of business features that will hopefully answer the oft-posed question “where was Autostraddle’s chief operating officer Brooke all week?”

Also if anyone is looking to sell their Mac laptop, our cruise contest winner Julia had hers stolen right before the cruise. Just throwin’ it out there!

Here’s a cute little video from one of of Intern “Editorial Assistant” Jess’s chats with Jill Bennett and Cathy DeBuono, click on the link to watch the video: Jill & Cathy on the Sweet Cruise! We’ll have a more full article about them later this week.

Cathy & Jill Talk to Jess

Screenshot from our Interview with Nicol Paone

Screenshots from our interview with Erin Foley, hilarious

Also we’d like to give a HUGE THANK YOU TO Intern Sarah, who took over while we were lost at sea with concussions. She did an awesome job, as did everyone on the team who worked extra hard last week for us. She’s our hero and one day I will vanish and leave her in charge hahah.

LADY GAGA: Last night Lady Gaga was on Gossip Girl, which was one of about ten plot devices on November 16th’s episode that made our heads explode as we watched it on the teevee while flying from New Orleans to New York City. You can look forward to more on Gossip Girl’s three in the Televisionary we will attempt to compile although Carlytron is in Buenos Aires.

TILA TEQUILA: Sabrina from OurScene TV (we hung out with her in Cozumel, she is certified awesome) and who is awesome got Dani Campbell’s reaction to the big news that Tila Tequila is a full-fledged lesbian. Unfortunately, this news does nothing for the fact that Tila is also a complete idiot.

OPRAH: For some reason people are still trying to get Oprah and Gayle King to admit that they are lesbian lovers.

LESBIAN GOSSIP: This article has a point, somewhere deep inside of it, regarding Katie Price’s lesbian affair (who is Katie Price), with references to Janice Dickinson and Samantha Fox, and some other stuff, and if you can decode it, you can win a canoeing trip down a pond in your backyard if you happen to own a pond.

LOHAN: Lindsay Lohan allegedly has a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. If this is the best shit they can come up with, rock on times of India. I also have a crush on Leonardo Dicaprio of the 90’s, because he is beautiful, almost like a hot girl.

Ellen & Portia Among Gay Marriage’s Top Advocates and Bisexual Kristanna Loken Gets a Girlfriend

ELLEN & PORTIA: America’s favorite lesbian couple was on Oprah last week to celebrate Ellen’s much-anticipated O magazine cover, less than a week after Maine voted against same-sex marriage [Read: Maine & Washington Gay Marriage Election Day “Live-Blog”!]

As fierce warriors in the fight against symbolic anihilation, we’re passionate & dedicated observers of the impact Ellen & Portia have had on America’s limited & prejudicial opposition to equal rights for gay and lesbian couples. (Read: Portia on The Ellen Show)

In “A Sapphic Victory, but Pyrric,” The New York Times notes that “culture leads politics, and support for familiar, respected individuals precedes support for a larger, more abstract idea,” and wonders in light of Maine’s Question 1, when we can expect what may have been the most public display of gushingly romantic affection between two gay or lesbian celebrities, among other subersive imges and popular figures, to pay off at the polls.

Rachel Maddow and Dan Savage chime in with their opinion and Savage points out that lesbians fare better than gay men on the small screen because gay men make people think of buttsex and “They look at Ellen and they don’t know what she does with Portia.”

Read the article.

BISEXUAL: OMG! Kristanna Loken, the bisexual actress you may remember from The L Word (she played Paige, Shane’s single mom post-Carmen rebound relationship), is not with her husband anymore and for the last seven months she’s been in a relationship with a woman. This is exciting because this story always happens the other way around! Her girlfriend’s a personal trainer and you can get the full scoop here: AfterEllen interviews bisexual Kristanna Loken. Loken also dishes on the difficulties of dating women who don’t want people to “know” (cough*michelle rodriguez*) and the importance of queer visibility for equal rights.

YOUR BODY IS A WONDERLAND: John Mayer says that if you haven’t gone dancing in a gay club, you’ve never really danced. Also, you’ve never felt so sexually unwanted since that time you accidentally glanced a little too long at your best friend changing her clothes in middle school and everyone called you a dyke. Or whatever.

GAY ACRES: Planet Green, part of the Discovery Channel family, has greenlit a new show about a gay couple running a farm in upstate New York: “Their eccentric, extended friends and family dynamic reveals to viewers that trying to live the simple life isn’t so simple after all.” And also maybe that the gay life isn’t so foreign or wrong. (@variety)

CRACKS: See what happens when you comment? I look at your website, and then I find special amazing things, like the trailer for this movie, Cracks. It looks lesbionic, totally enchanting, completely creepy, and absolutely necessary. Someone tell me more.

LADY LOHAN: Lindsay Lohan tweeted this week that she is obsessed with the Bad Romance video (how weird, us too!) and would love to collaborate with Lady Gaga someday. If that ever happens, Autostraddle will probably just explode. Or find it impossible not to use all caps for a while.

Are Lesbian Threesomes “In”? 1-2-3, Britney Spears Loves NSFW Sexy Sunday!

THREESOMES: Are Threesomes In? Here’s our first question: Were they ever OUT?

Anyhow, well, you may or may not be aware that Britney Spears’s new single is about …. threesomes! It’s a hot dance tune, though I personally prefer Fenix TX’s ode to threesomes. Apparently this is an article for straight people about the terror and pleasures of threesomes. So close your eyes and pretend we live in a non-heteronormative world, and then consider this question posed by this incredibly idiotic awesome article:

“Britney Spears “3″ is one of the most popular songs out there right now, but how many of you have stopped to actually listen to the words? Britney claims that threesomes are the new “in.” Well, that’s what we’re talking about today on the show. Are threesomes the new “in” or a disaster for your relationship?”

ENDURANCE: The Times of India, which for some reason is constantly publishing articles with bizarre premises and oft-hilarious translations, asks How Long Can You Last Without Sex? Really seriously they’re always super funny to read. We haven’t slept in a few days so we’re hoping it’s actually okay to make fun of terrible translations, like these examples:

Sex is, undoubtedly, a necessity of the body, based on two coordinates: reproduction and the tendency to socialize, to permanently cooperate with those around us. Survival on long periods of time is based to humans’ abilities to live in groups, which involves the birth of relations, more or less lasting or enjoyable.

Practically, a non-existing sexual life causes a lot of reactions, more or less explicable, and in some extreme cases it can lead to severe physical and philological reactions: skin itches, irritations, anger etc. You could end up hurting the ones beside you, emotionally or even physically, because you did not “read” one of your body’s cries for help.

DILDOS: Review – Buck. Also, one out of the four women in the room I’m in right now also recommends this item and misses it more than she misses her relationship. (@sugarbutch)

DITA: Dita Von Teese is interviewed by Rachel Kramer Bussel at The Daily Beast about burlesque and her new flipbooks: “In America they’re obsessed with pop stars and maybe they’re a little bit afraid of having me on there because they think what I’m talking about and what I’m doing is too risqué.”

How do you feel about lesbians in schoolgirl outfits having sex on the altar? Anyone?

SWEET: BTW yes there was a lesbian wet t-shirt contest on the Sweet cruise. Luckily the photographer was standing near us rather than across from us, where you could have witnessed our looks of alternating horror and laughter.

FANTASIES: If you’ve had a rape fantasy, and statistically it’s quite possible that you have, you probs wonder … y’know. Why. Here’s some theories. (@eros blog)

BABES: Bras are so old school, here’s 68 babes who prefer belts. (@coed)

NERVE: Cinema Sutra … Cruel Intentions. Some advice for ladies who want to kiss ladies. And here’s a little refresher if you forgot the video, or weren’t burning with underground homosexual desires in the late 90s (or, conversely, burning sexual desires for Ryan Phillipe, who is hot):

BRAIN OF GOLD: Belle De Jour, the author of the blog Diary of a London Call Girl, which served as the inspiration for the Showtime Series “Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” has been unmasked — she’s a Cancer scientist! This is not surprising, because despite common belief, being a serious high-class full-time escort is really f*cking hard work; the fucking is the easy part, srsly.

Dr. Brooke Magnanti, and she’s a 32-year old developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology specialist at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health. (Her large number of degrees is impressive, but more so is the fact that she had a job with that many words in the title and also had time to write so much.)  She gave up escorting in 2004, but she’s still writing extensively, and others are quick to praise the quality of her prose.

Catholic Church Tries to Block Gay Marriage By Revoking Charity, No One Wins

INSANITY: The D.C. Archdiocese is putting it’s foot down in protest of the same-sex marriage bill in front of the Washington City Council. “The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn’t change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.”

Seriously, this isn’t a joke? Ok, fine, let’s take a look at how the bill would affect them. It would in no way ask them to perform same-sex marriages or to condone such unions. All it’s saying is that “they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians,” which could include extending benefits to gay married couples. That’s it. And this is apparently worth cutting programs that help 68,000 people and at least one third of D.C.’s homeless population. What would Jesus do? He would PROBS NOT take charity and aid away from TENS OF THOUSANDS of people just to push a political agenda. Based on everything I’ve heard about the guy, that is in fact the opposite of what Jesus would do. How can people reconcile the Christian message of love with these actions?

But for all that, the council members don’t seem to be swayed. It sounds like they aren’t going to let the Archdiocese throw it’s weight around: the council “will not legislate based on threats.” And the council thinks they can do just fine without the Church’s help. We’ll see what happens when they vote in December. (@washingtonpost)

DADT: There’s some more progress on the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell front. There’s going to be a confirmation hearing next week for Obama’s pick for the post that oversees DADT. And Barney Frank told the Blade a few days that DADT might be up for repeal as soon as 2010. (@advocate, @blade)

SAVE EASTWICK: ABC canceled Eastwick, which sucks because Autostraddle BFF Haviland Stillwell is gonna be on it! Her episode will air Nov. 25, btw, so tune in. Luckily, there is already a big campaign to save the show. There’s a twitter account, a petition, and a Facebook movement. Plus, Eastwick has a commanding lead in the polls over at E!’s Save One Show campaign. So if you want the chance to see Haviland’s face on your tv some more, go tell ABC to keep the show.

GRIFFIN: Kathy Griffin is set to play a lesbian activist on Law and Order: SVU in February. (@tvguide)

JUST ‘CAUSE: Outtakes from a Lilo photo shoot. Because it is Friday, and we love you. Also it was a slow news day.SIDENOTE: As you probs know, most of the Autostraddle team has been on a cruise all week. They’re supposed to return soon, but the interns have a few extra reasons to come home, just in case.

Dear Team:

• You guys CANNOT stay in Mexico just to hide the fact that you lost Brooke. When #swineflu never trends again, we’ll know what’s up! -Elizabeth
• Going “down South” is only fun in euphemism. Please come back. -Lola
• Please don’t move to Mexico. America has better health care. Oh wait…nevermind. -Daphne
• Two of you are registered organ donors, but just in NYC. We need those. -Nicole
• Sure, you can wear sombreros all the time in Mexico, but America is the land of the free-to-not-wear-pants. -Katrina
• The Internet on the boat is worse than dial-up. Come back and live in the future of wireless. -X
• We love you more than Maine hates you. -Sarah
• I am selfish and want you to live in the same country as me. -Vashti
• Who’s going to take me on family trips to Wal-Mart? -Lily

Add your own reasons in the comments, if you got ’em!

Trojan College Sex Survey Ignores Homos, Misses Dental Dam Marketing Opportunity

SEX SURVEY: Sexual healing – Universities around the country are boasting/bemoaning various rankings on Trojan’s Sexual Health Report Card, a survey undertaken by TROJAN MAN in conjunction with Sperling’s Best Places. Questionnaires are mailed/emailed to University health centers and responses are also culled from Facebook networks.  Furthermore, a team of students analyze 144 major university health resources. Approximately 7,000 students participated nationally in the 13-question survey, which asked questions about “access to sexual health information and resources.”

Some University responses:

+ USC: “The University of South Carolina is not No. 1 in the SEC. But, according to a national survey set to be released today, USC is tops when it comes to S-E-X.”
+ Harvard: “Nothing has changed over my four years here that I am aware of on campus [at Harvard], but our grades [on Trojan’s survey] have been all over the place. I don’t know what information they base it on because no one has been contacted from my office.”
+ University of Washington: However, Mark Shaw, University of Washington director of health promotion, believes the survey to be subjective: “I do not feel this survey is legitimate,” he said.

Of course none of Trojan’s questions address the thing you’re probably most curious about — will this sexual health center be able to handle my big gay problems & feelings? Will the sexual counselors be homophobic or educated about issues specific to bisexual, trans, gay, lesbian, bicurious, queer, questioning or lesbian-until-graduation persons? And as we’ve talked about before, many lesbians are Afraid of the Gynecologist, so it’s especially important for a campus resource center to have those options.

Perhaps it’s ’cause lesbians aren’t seen as a condom market that we’re left out. But 1. HELLO STRAP-ONS love condoms! Also if your roommate “borrows” your vibrator, you’re gonna want a rubber for that. 2. Hello homosexual men — doesn’t Trojan advertise to gay men sometimes? We think they do.

So why are we left out of this survey when honestly sexual orientation non-discrimination is a fantastic performance indicator for any University health center? Has anyone seen one of these surveys and are we missing something? Well, we’ll never know. At least we have campus progress! And Lily’s College Lesbianage!

Survey says that students at DePaul University, which came in at 141, are screwed. See what I did there? Get some dental dams. (@ prn newswire)

LIAR’S CLUB GOES TO CHURCH: E tu, Mary Karr? One of our most beloved memoirists (Liar’s Club is a must-read, Cherry is a should-read) has a new memoir, LIT, and talks to Double X about the specific challenges for women writing autobiography … and, as Jezebel regrettably points out, “some annoying shit about how much God loves her.” The Jezebel reaction piece is also a must-read, as it addresses specific prejudices towards female memoirists as arrogant while men are lauded for it. We agree that women could use A LOT more  arrogance sometimes, but unfortunately born-again religious arrogance, as Karr now exhibits  … we don’t like that so much either.

AXED: Speaking of sex, Axe Body Spray is being sued by a dissatisfied user who has been buying their products for seven years and still has yet to be ravished by mass quantities of scantily-clad women. “The company cheated me because in its advertisements, it says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me.”

LEGENDARY LEZZIES: Legendary lesbians grace designer ads: “The masterminds behind fall 2009 high fashion campaigns have Sappho on the brain. Chanel’s sizzling ads—shot at designer Karl Lagerfeld’s home on Vermont’s Lake Champlain—pay homage to the legendary love affair between British society lesbians Violet Trefusis and Vita Sackville-West.” (@advocate)

FEMINIST NUNS: Nuns having fun! Feminist nuns the Sisters of Mercy do international work to promote social justice, refuse to wear habits, live independently, and are being investigated by the Vatican for their liberal policies. We at Autostraddle believe this is the perfect timing for Sister Act 4. (@bitch, @ny times)

Lady Gaga: ‘When It Comes to Gay Rights, I Really Know What I’m Talking About.’

Gaga at the Elvis Duran Show

LADY GAGA: Lots of Lady Gaga news today! The world  premiere Beyoncé and Lady Gaga’s “Video Phone” video will world premiere on-air and online on Thursday, November 5 in the U.S. at 5:30 p.m. EST, and worldwide MTV channels will debut the video in 162 countries following the airing of the MTV Europe Music Awards from Berlin.

Lady Gaga visited Z100 Studios in New York to be on the Elvis Duran Morning Show, where she totally fangirled out ’cause she’s been listening to the popular radio program her whole life. It was an awesome interview. She also reveals her Halloween costume (she went as herself, knowing she’d blend right in to the hoards of Gagas) We’ve excerpted the part where she talks about gays and the Equality March. Gaga, who is bisexual, points out that in NY, a straight couple who have been together for seven years earn a “common law marriage,” but gay couples who’ve been committed all their lives can’t get any kind of marriage at all.:

LISTEN: Lady Gaga on Z100 talking about gay rights

Lady Gaga told the Sydney Morning Herald, “I’m a performance artist and this is what I do. Art is a lie and every day I kill to make it true.” Regarding her MTV Music Video Awards performance, “That, for me, was the first truly original thing I’ve done. I wanted to do something that was emblematic of the death of celebrity. The demise of the blonde women that we worship, kind of paint a picture of Marilyn Monroe with a bottle of pills in her hand.”

Christopher Walken did a dramatic reading of Poker Face on a British talk show over the weekend. If there’s one thing that makes Lady Gaga better, it’s Chris Walken. (via @jezebel)

Also President Gaga is going to be on the cover of Flare’s December issue. They even have a photo of her in the nest getup from the VMAs, aka her best outfit ever.

What a title really: Wanda Sykes: Just another of Fox’s black, lesbian, same-sex and interracially married, Saturday night talk show hosts

CHAZ BONO: The 2009 Out 100 will feature our collection of the 100 gay men, women, and trans people who have made 2009 a year to remember. This year’s theme is a gentle nod to the days that shaped, delighted, and terrified us all and made us who we are today — school days. We’ve dubbed Chaz Bono (below, shot by Jason Bell) “Most Likely To Reinvent.” (@out)

BOOKS: AfterEllen interviews mystery writer Patricia Cornwell.

LOHAN: Another day, another most-likely-totally-bullshit Lindsay Lohan rumor. This time she’s “snogging” Jennifer Aniston’s man, “Gerard Butler.” Yawn. She allegedly told the “3am girls” that “I just want to find someone who loves me back. I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack every time I think about the break-up. I came here to get away from it all. I’m ready to have fun now.” It’s almost like Lindsay’s just a character they insert into whatever story they want to tell. (@daily mirror uk)

LESBIAN TV: Former Corrie star Tina O’Brien has reportedly won the chance to play the role of one of Anne Lister’s lovers. The period drama covers the life of Lister, born in 1791, who is often called “the first modern lesbian” for her openly gay lifestyle. (@stv)

Tomorrow Maine Will Vote on Gay Marriage, WA Will Vote on Everything But: Where Do We Stand?

Tomorrow is Election Day! If Maine wins on gay marriage tomorrow, it would be the first time voters in the US approve same-sex marriage! So basically the world could change on Tuesday, just like that Tuesday in the 90s when Lauryn Hill’s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill came out, that was the first time I ever pre-ordered a record OH RIGHT THIS IS POLITICS: I have been to Maine, it was so beautiful & Phillip lives there! Srsly life-changing shit could happen.

Maine: Question 1 Could Reverse May’s Marriage Statue Which Granted Marriage Equality

If Question 1 is rejected, it would be the first time voters in the US have approved Same-Sex Marriage!

Tomorrow a rally will be held in Monument Square to show support for gay marriage.

Maine to Vote on Same-Sex Marriage: Public opinion surveys in Maine show a dead heat on Question 1, which would cancel the marriage statute that passed the legislature in May and was signed by Gov. John E. Baldacci (D).

If Question 1 passes, Maine — like California — will have legislated inequality: “The National Organization for Marriage, or NOM, has contributed $1.6 million to Stand for Marriage Maine but has declined to reveal its own contributors, despite a federal district court decision last week that it must do so under Maine law.”

538: Marc Multy, the president of the anti-gay marriage group Stand for Marriage Maine, said his opponents “amassed a war chest from the homosexual political elite from nearly every corner of the country to impose their will on Mainers like us.” Erum but no. It’s true “No on 1 raised more than $2.30 million in itemized contributions from outside the state of Maine; this is more than the $1.82 million that Stand for Marriage Maine has raised from out-of-state” … However, all told, No on 1 has raised 43 percent of its funds from within Maine, as compared with 26 percent for the Yes on 1 campaign.

Also from Nate Silver, check out Arguments Against Gay Marriage Literally Stop Making Sense.

TABOR, Question 1 drop in polls – A poll released Monday showed a large drop in support for Questions 2, 3 and 4 on Maine’s Nov. 3 ballot. Opponents of Question 1 also showed small gains.

Catholic Church Goes After Straight Allies of Marriage Equality: “Though it’s no fun seeing same-sex marriage rights placed on a statewide ballot, one of the best things to come out of the Maine vote on marriage equality is the fact that progressive-minded  Catholics are starting to speak out for the rights of gays and lesbians to marry.”

Washington Referendum 71, nicknamed “everything but marriage”:

Referendum 71 asks voters to approve or reject a bill passed by the Legislature and signed by the governor this spring that would extend to same-sex couples scores of rights currently reserved for married spouses, including ensuring extended work leave for people with critically ill partners and preserving pension benefits for the surviving partner in the event of the other’s death. (@ny times)

This week, the Washington Poll, released through the University of Washington, found even stronger support for the “everything but marriage” law, with a 56-39 lead, with 5 percent undecided. (@washington times)

RIP: Phoenix-based transgender rights activist Michele de Lafreniere died Saturday. Pam’s House Blend has a great tribute, which gives some history about her activism and why she was important to the LGBT community. Today, we lost a woman who started something huge… She never gave up. She was reduced to a point where she couldn’t speak, could barely move, and yet she cried in joy at the passage and signing of the Hate crimes bill.

NFL: Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson was suspended from the team last week after using a gay slur on Twitter and in the locker room. He also was fined by the NFL. His agent said Johnson didn’t realize the word was offensive. The controversy has shined a spotlight on the homophobia in locker rooms throughout professional sports. Former NFL player Esera Tualo, who came out after he left the league, says there are at least ten closeted football players in the NFL right now, probably more. While the league is trying to improve the situation, Tualo and other authorities said they have no idea when players will feel comfortable enough to come out to their teammates. In better sports news, the Cubs are now the first major league sports franchise to have a gay owner.

GAY ANIMALS: An Illinois teacher was suspended after he had his class read about homosexuality among animals.

HOUSTON MAYOR: The Houston mayoral race is coming up, and the city has the chance to elect Annise Parker, who would be the first openly gay mayor of a major city. The Houston Chronicle found a lot to like about Parker, but listed her sexual orientation as a con. Sad, but probably true.

Autostraddle’s Best Halloween Costumes of the Day, Inspired by Gays

We love costumes on an epic level, like Edie Beale times a billion! It’s Halloween!! Isn’t that exciting? What are you gonna be? Isn’t this a fantastic opportunity to look back at some of the best costumes of the day ever worn by our favorite gays & lesbians of screen & stage for any occasion as well as a few other general audience favorites. This is the part where we say “if you’re still unsure what you’re gonna be on Halloween, check out [cute link here],” but is anyone really unsure at this point? I mean, I’ve defo been convinced I’m not doing Halloween at all until a few minutes before someone pours whiskey down my throat and I’ve made a game-time decision to be a “peppermint stick” or “Yale undergraduate,” but you’ve got that squared away yeah? Well if not, Bitch has some cute feminist Halloween costume ideas!

In Honor of Halloween 2009

Great Moments in Lesbian, Gay and Bi-Curious Costumes

10. The L Word 309: Lead, Follow Or Get Out of the Way (2006)

Because The L Word exists in a world independent of time, space, seasons, character continuity or National Holidays, we never got a Halloween Episode. But we did get one fantastic costuming opportunity! And no, I’m not talking about Jodi’s Gigantic Caftan.

Max’s Top Surgery Fundraising Party in Season Three may not have worked out so well for the host and his girlfriend (you may recall the money raised was deemed not enough for even “one tit”), but the 90’s prom theme was a total winner, especially for Alice & Dana in their last Totally Cute Moment together before The Death ‘Heard Round the World. Tina’s prom getup was straight out of a John Hughes classic, Carmen did Madonna justice and Jenny’s terrible glasses brought us back to when you know, people actually wore those terrible glasses.

9. Rosie O’Donnell and Rachel Ray on The Rachel Ray Show (2009)

It’s just funny to have Rosie being Glenda the Good Witch. Remember when she was the “Queen of Nice”? I love her so much more every day. Also, I will never watch this show because 11am is too early for meatballs.

8. My So-Called Life 109 : Halloween (1995)

Lightyears ahead of its time, My So-Called Life‘s self-consciousness about its self-absorbed overly analytic fifteen-year-old protagonist (who so many of us related to), Angela Chase is perhaps best evidenced in the Halloween episode, when Angela’s sister Danielle dresses up … as Angela. She got the wig, the flannel, and the physical gestures down pat. Meanwhile Rayanne & Sharon were true to type as a bloodsucker and a sex kitten, and Angela timidly wandered the halls of her high shool, dressed like a dead girl from the 50’s. Talking to ghosts was included.

7 & 6. Team Autostraddle at

Carlytron’s 2008 Hollywood Trainwreck Halloween Party (2008)

Riese & Alex as Paris Hilton & Kate Moennig

+

Robin & DJ Carlytron as Samantha Ronson & Lindsay Lohan

Next: Mean Girls, Special Award in Costuming for Ellen DeGeneres, The Big Gay Sketch Show and of course; Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Religious Right & Ex-Gay Movement Inspired By Hate Crimes Bill to Lie More, Be Hateful

EX-GAY: Is there any way to exorcise the Ex-Gay demons from the ex-gays? Because really all the hateful offensive bigotry aside, what a bunch of whiners! They’re all like “mememememee” and won’t even let us have our MOMENT!

The Christian Anti-Defamation Commission is concerned that emotionally & physically abusing young people who ALREADY want to leave the gay lifestyle (seriously though how much gay lifestyle can a guy have in a small town without a fake ID? Don’t get mad, he just got started) will be considered a hate crime rather than what they see it as — a big ‘ol hug from Jesus : Where is the tolerance for a church who tried to help a young man who freely asked for help to overcome homosexual temptations? No church deserves to be maligned for trying to help a troubled teen who asked for prayer.

Also, Freud called bullshit on conversion therapy like 75 years ago. (@queerty)

Meanwhile, Pat Robertson is telling his people: “You know, there’s a law – what about a law that says it’s a federal crime to attack somebody because of his religious beliefs? Not a chance!” — yeah, THAT’S A LIE. (@crooks and liars)

I can’t wait ’til fifteen years from now when in addition to appreciating the beauty of Adam Lambert’s album cover, we’ll also be able to look at the craziest people in the world, who for some reason feel comfortable exorcising their mother’s emotional molestation (you know, the root of all gayness) by slamming a hammer into a kitchen counter on CNN and satisfying safe male bonding affection by cradling a (seemingly dead) man on your lap without getting a boner. As displayed here, when Current TV’s THAT’S GAY does conversion therapy:

WANDA SYKES: Wanda Sykes says pressuring Obama on gay rights is like complaining that the guy who gave you CPR has bad breath – Wanda Sykes: Obama Is ‘Failing’ On Gay Rights, But ‘He’s Doing a Great Job‘. (@queerty)

MATRIMONIO: Argentine Congress considers same-sex marriage:“We can’t expect social equality if the state is legitimizing inequality,” said Maria Rachid, president of Argentina’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Federation. “We now have the social and political context necessary to change the law.” Fun fact: Argentina would be the first Latin American country to fully recognize same sex marriage.

HATERS: ’Americans for Truth’ Too Homophobic Even for Maine Marriage Equality Opponents“At a press conference, the Maine Grassroots Coalition’s leader, Paul Madore, who a local newscast said “brought” AFTAH and Camenker to Maine, repeated the claims that marriage equality would lead to a campaign to silence critics of gay families, made the claim that a “national campaign” to bring out-of-staters into Maine and defraud voters on election day. However, as the newscast also reports, the official Yes on 1 campaign, which seeks to rescind marriage rights for Maine’s gay and lesbian families via a Proposition 8-like voter initiative, “disavows” Madore and AFTAH.”

Dustin Lance Black Won’t Be Bringing His Homo-Hope to Hope College

DUSTIN LANCE BLACK: True story: I once published a short story called “There is Hope in Hope” and it was about a dykey girl going to her parents’ Hope College reunion and hooking up with her parents’ college buddy’s seemingly straight daughter. ANYHOO that’s not what this is about, this is about Dustin Lance Black, Oscar-award-winning screenwriter of Milk and all around kickass dude.

Somehow Hope College scored Dustin Lance Black to swing by their campus ’cause he’s nearby working on a film (initially I’d assumed he was planning to pick up some new wooden shoes or tulips in Holland, Michigan) to speak to a Screenwriting class and participate in a Sexuality Roundtable.

Well — until the heads of Hope College uninvited Dusty and his homosexual agenda. A girl named Charity (how can you dislike a girl named Charity, it’s like Mother Theresa or Angelina Jolie) wrote autostraddle about her feelings on this:

I am not emailing you as a fan (even though I clearly am). I am emailing you because there is a movement that needs to be happening at my college and I hope that we (the GLTB community) can help. I am a junior at Hope College in Holland, MI it is an infamously Christian and Conservative school. We do not have a “recognized” GLTB group on campus because of the religious background of the school. So when the Sexuality Roundtable (that is what we have to call it) wanted to invite Dustin Lance Black to our school, we were denied. Please help! Our school needs a BIG wake up call! I have attached a couple of links to some newspapers that have written about it, including the Holland Sentinel (the local newspaper). Please post this on your blog/website so we can help our school open its eyes.

Consider Your Eyes Opened! Perez Hilton also complained, but as I have a strict no-linking-to-Perez Hilton rule, I’ll just direct you to an Article from SameSame.au: Raised a Mormon himself, Black told the Sentinel “When I do live speaking tours, I’m all about reconciliation between the gay community and the religious community.”

So what’s the big issue? Apparently Black is just “too polarizing” for the school. I think its really amazing that someone is actually allowed to say that out loud and not get a tomato thrown at this face.

GLAAD Awards for Advertising: While many mainstream marketers still shy away from ads directed at gays and lesbians, a leading advocacy group found plenty of companies to honor this year, including Orbitz, Bertolli, Subaru and Allstate.

FOX NEWS: The Fox News vs. The White House debate rages on, and Jezebel has feelings I totally agree with.

GENDER: Autostraddle asks What Does a Lesbian Look Like? It’s our first Roundtable in a long time, and we’d let Dustin Lance Black speak if he wanted to.

HOT BODIES:In related news, Jezebel breaks down a study revealing that men prefer women with hot bodies for short-term relationships and women with pretty faces for long-term: Butterfaces And “Size Zero Girls:” The Morality Of Female Attractiveness: I’m not against studies about human attractiveness per se — I just wish those who report on such studies could stop linking them to health or morality.

TRANSPHOBIA IN SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE: A young LGBT activist named Ariel Bustamante has launched a Facebook campaign against Seventeen magazine in response to its publication of an article titled “True Life Drama: My Boyfriend Turned Out to Be a Girl,” that portrays transgender people in a highly negative way.  (@pamshouseblend)

RESTLESS VAGINA SYNDROME: A new article tracing the marketing of Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD): Convincing women to feel distress is a key component of the drug company strategy to market a multi-billion-dollar pill that will cure billions of women of what may not ail them.”(@inthesetimes)

GLEE KEEPS GETTING TEEN SEX RIGHT: Although Glee has been rightfully called out for getting a lot of things wrong (e.g., treating a wheelchair-using character as a comedic prop, too often reinforcing negative stereotypes while ostensibly sending them up), teen sexuality is one thing it consistently gets right, even within an over-the-top, credulity-straining universe. (@salon)

Equality Maine’s Testimony Videos: Gay Marriage Isn’t Just for Kids

MAINE: Meet Paul & Jeanette. I gotta say that No on Question 1 in Maine is trying a really unique campaign and I hope the right people are getting the opportunity to check it out … you’ve met Phillip, now meet Paul & Jeanette and help make this shit go viral!

These ads make it clear this isn’t a generational issue because there are plenty of old people with their heads on straight. See, straight white sixtysomething seventysomething eightysomething Republicans and/or war veterans are not just naturally against the gays after all, it’s not like they got a side of bigotry with their Old Country Buffet All-You-Can-Eat Special. Omg I just accidentally typed that without the “O” in “Country.” Do you ever type google.om? Just me?

How cute is it when he calls it the “Don’t Tell, Don’t Ask Policy”?

Also the governor is endorsing No on 1, thinks you should too. Also check out Six Days, Folks – Six Days, Do You Want a Win in Maine?

And speaking of old people: Over the next 25 years, persons in America who are 65 and older are expected to grow from about 12 to 20 percent of the total population, and various estimates indicate that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals will comprise 7 to 10 percent of that senior population. Family Research Council’s coldhearted attack on LGBT senior citizens: the Family Research Council spoke out against Obama Administration plans to create a national resource center for LGBT seniors.

SCHOOLED: Watch the Christian News Service describe something totally awesome and expecting you to react with horror & disgust : Obama’s Safe Schools Czar Advocated ‘Queering Education.’

Also, On Top Magazine discusses how Focus on the Family totally blasted the Safe Schools Czar. Really though G-d forbid they tell gay kids they are okay and not weird! I guess Focus on the Family would feel more comfortable about gay kids internalizing self-hatred and killing themselves, yeah? (@cns)

WASHINGTON: Colbert handles how the Protect Marriage Washington against Referendum 71 group proves that gay marriage has horrible effects on fact-checking:

IMMIGRATION LAW: Deportation isn’t often mentioned as a consequence of marriage inequality, but The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette had an article on the issue on Friday and Pam’s House Blend covered it today in Obama Administration Fails to Help Gay Couple Bypass Discriminatory Immigration Laws. The story is about a gay man who lost his work-related green card after being laid off. But because his long-term relationship doesn’t qualify as marriage in the eyes of the government, he was deported back to Indonesia.

There is currently legislation in the House dealing with this loophole in immigration law. But many proponents of immigration reform (such as the Catholic Church) say that attempts to include gay rights would kill the reform effort. Kevin Appleby, director of migration and refugee policy for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, says: “Why add another major controversy to an issue that’s already divisive? It’s a distraction that will simply hurt the overall effort.” I guess that’s just one more way to tell the gays to be patient.

Eric Holder, the U.S. Attorney General, didn’t respond to the application in time, effectively denying it.

DADT: Army Secretary John McHugh said in an interview with Army Times that he’s ready for a DADT repeal: “Anytime you have a broad-based policy change, there are challenges to that. The Army has a big history of taking on similar issues, [with] predictions of doom and gloom that did not play out.” (@ queerty)

OBAMA: Obama invites gays to White House: So not only will President Obama be speaking on signing hate crimes legislation tomorrow, he’s also sending inviting LGBT organizations for a reception run by a major LGBT donor. Obama keeps inviting us to come party but we’ve had enough partying, we want to have a talk about our relationship! That’s so gay. (@ politico)

LGBT Adults Go Green, Believe in Global Warming, Know Children are Our Future

GREEN: Much to our surprise, LGBT Americans Think, Act, Vote More Green Than Others: even though gays aren’t allowed to adopt kids and they can’t have ’em on accident (at least not with our preferred gender of mate) a new study shows that LGBTS are still way more concerned about the ozone layer than all ze breeders, which this Reuters article attributes to “a very high sense of community and cooperation that many LGBT citizens know first hand.” You know, like how we made the AIDS quilt together, and built huts for our hippie lesbian naked mating rituals and child-rearing at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival etc.

It’s a relatively small sample size and the statistical differences here aren’t all that significant either, but nevertheless — if they’re right about lezzies being so into the planet, this post will have lots of comments! (If it doesn’t, everyone reading this better go cool the global whatevs now)

Two-thirds (66%) of lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender adults say that it is important to support environmental causes, compared with 56% of non-LGBT adults.

Three-quarters (75%) of LGBT adults (compared with 53% of heterosexuals) believe global warming is happening right now

39% of LGBT adults say they have seen or read Al Gore`s “An Inconvenient Truth” while only 20% of heterosexuals say they have seen or read it.

Althugh LGBT households are not parenting as frequently as heterosexuals, 51% say they are concerned about the planet we are leaving behind for future generations — compared to 42% of heterosexual adults.

22% of heterosexuals think “going green” is a marketing tactic but only 16% of LGBT adults agree.

So even though we can’t have kids, we sill want your kids to have trees to play in. That’s so gay! And by “gay” I mean “happy.”

SCIENTOLOGY BUNK: Every time Scientology suffers, we smile on the inside with our eyes: Paul Haggis quits Scientology after 35 years of dedication, b/c of their homophobia and hypocrisy. Leader Tommy Davis “dramatically removed his microphone, and walked out of the interview in the most indignant Scientologist way possible” during an interview with the Nightline guy who also got Michael Jackson to spill his beans. (@nymag, @salon)

Call Her or Text Her? The phone is right there buddy

DATING: For the first date — call or text? Peter argues for texting (bravo, I agree) and the girl argues for a phone call (sigh). Peter makes many good points mostly that the girl is making the whole thing way more complicated than it oughta be. What do you think? (@nerve)

SINGLE LADIES: Sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. says that those complaining about being single should consider their location: “In a lot of cities where professional status really matters, people focus on their careers, valuing their jobs over quality of life—things like relationships, marriage and kids get put on the back burner…there is a higher proportion of eligible, interesting people, so the need to settle down doesn’t feel as much as a priority. This is actually completely true, especially for lesbians. Like if there’s only one other lesbian in your village, it’s her way or the highway you know? The entire article is at YourTango, which oddly bills itself as “smart talk about love.” (@ nerve)

LISTEN: Rosie O’Donnell Does Howard Stern (Media Rejoices Over Fresh Ro-Bashing Fodder)

ROSIE: Let’s just get this out here — we are generally a pro-Rosie O’Donnell lesbian website. We don’t agree with everything she says or does, but we think she’s funny, we admire her bravery to speak out on unpopular points of view and most of all we respect the heaps of charity work she does. She’s a responsible citizen, and we salute her for that

So Rosie was on Howard Stern’s Sirius Radio Show! I know! For a whole 90 minutes! Wanna listen?

Part One:

10-26-09 CF -1 [wdm]

Part Two:

10-26-09 CF [wdm] 2

What did she say? Well, I personally really related to & appreciated the first 20 minutes or so where she talks about the psychological impact of losing a parent at a young age on children. For those of you who aren’t psychotic depressives, perhaps you’ll find the rest of it slightly “funnier”!

ANYHOW let’s ask her biggest fans, the media! …

The LA Times: Rosie O’Donnell thinks Angelina Jolie hit on her. Can you spell DELUSIONAL?. Well, we all know I’m not a good “speller,” but I am a good reader, and I don’t see that information in this quote:

“She gave me her phone number…. We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that,” she told Howard. “There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through,” she said. “I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Yes, women as sexy as Angelina are scary, because they are so sexy! It’s a girl thing you wouldn’t understand. Probs Angie wanted to talk about how to bring Annie to all the starving childrens of the world.

The only part we care about in the LA Times piece (we actually love the LA Times usually) is this, as it’s MEGA IMPORTANT information and also it’s funny, see, Rosie is making fun of herself! So you don’t even need to do it for her:

“[Kelli and I] have come to a point where we are seeing [if] what will make everyone happiest is maybe to not live together, but continue to parent. We have different styles of living. I’m very messy. She’s very not.”

The Newser: Rosie: I Almost Dated Angelina. An almost-dinner does not a relationship make, Shane would break The Newser‘s heart for sure.

The Examiner: Rosie O’Donnell basically calls Oprah emotionally gay. What does that even mean? I’m distracted by all the qualifiers.

The Insider asks Is Rosie O’Donnell a hypocrite? (for saying she wasn’t going to talk about her relationship with Kelli and then going ahead and talking about her relationship with Kelli). A flip-flopper maybe, but when I’m done looking up “Delusional” in the dictionary, I can pass it over to The Insider and they can check out the meaning of “hypocrite.”

Anyhow, we’d like to direct you to Queerty, who covers our favorite topic and the only one worth mentioning in the context of a Howard Stern Interview: “Kelli and I had a lot of issues and sex wasn’t one of them.” Queerty notes: “This is, in fact, great to hear. Because while bigots will use Rosie’s split as evidence why gay relationships are unstable, we can throw this one back in their faces: well at least we’re having sex!

Her new show starts next week on Sirius XM.

SAINTHOOD: Hey, members of the Church of Tegan and Sara, listen up, it’s Christmas. Have you tweeted #sainthood today yet? You should, because its’ a trending topic and needs to stay that way.

Four months after announcing the title of their latest album, those lovely Quin twins are releasing Sainthood today! If you’re one of the T&S faithful and held out ’til the actual release date (or if you just love to hear from us), check out Tegan & Sara’s Sainthood: B-Side Track Reviews, Massive Photo Gallery & #Sainthood, Autostraddle’s Track-by-Track Review of the album and our Interview with Tegan Quin!

HOLLYWOOD CLOSET:A few weeks ago you may recall an article from The LA Weekly on The Secret Lives of Queer Leading Men and how Howard Bragman helps actors tell the truth. Deadline Hollywood has put together a follow-up piece, About Hollywood’s Coming Out PR Guru. The most salient point here is that only one “leading man” needs to come out to change the whole world … who’s it gonna be? We theorized on this last time we brought up this article, and someone yelled at me, so I will just say that it might rhyme with Shawn Lavota. MAYBE!! Could just be Dicky Darton.

AMELIA BEDILIA: Girls just wanna have fun a strong female protagonist. Why did Amelia tank in the box office? Not because we’re not compelled by a female lead, but because…it wasn’t a good movie. (@newser)

LADY GAGA: President Gaga to resign? Calling herself a “very traditional Italian girl from New York,” Gaga said in an interview that she would be willing to quit music to take care of her mother and sister, should her father opt not to get cardiovascular surgery. (@lady gaga)

THREE RIVERS: The Examiner ranked the top 5 underdog shows on TV, and lesbian favorite (kind of?) Three Rivers came in at number five with “Most Potential.” Can you spell Delusional?

Maine’s Gay Marriage Advocates Need More Face Time, More Phillip, Less Wanton Fearmongering Distractions

Marriage Equality Fight in Maine

“Most of No on 1’s advantage is based on its substantial edge in fundraising from within the state of Maine.”

With the vote in Maine only a week or so away, both sides are debating the issue on air. When asked about Yes on 1’s relentless insistence that marriage equality would corrupt schools and churches and recruit children, Mary Bonauto, civil rights project director at the Boston-based Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders and a consultant to No on 1/Protect Maine Equality, says that “the schools issue is a distraction.” Edge Boston summarizes her argument: “The statute doesn’t require schools to teach about same-sex couples’ sexuality, but educators should acknowledge equality. Kids come from all sorts of different families. Schools want to make sure they all are safe and respected.”

Autostraddle Wonders: See, you’d think the “Yes on 1” people would’ve noticed by now that YOU CAN’T ESCAPE THE GAYS. Kids will find out that they exist. But knowing that something is suitable for premium cable television is forbidden in your classroom is a dangerous message to send, and it’s one that reinforces the fear, shame & otherness which contributes to alarmingly high suicide and depression rates amongst gay teens as well as a lack of productive outlets for confusing sexual feelings.

Oh. Whoops! That was logic we were using just then, and admitting that homosexuality isn’t a problem your church can fix.

Andrew Sullivan for The Atlantic in August 2009:

In fact, a great deal of this symbolism has to do with gay kids more than adults. If you are part of a family and your society tells you at an early age that you can have no family, no spouse and no integration into the world alongside your brothers and sisters in the future as an adult, that’s a brutal psychic wound that leads to all sorts of subsequent problems and pathologies.

Money is pouring in from all sides, and per ushe the anti-equality camp has plenty coming in from the outside, like Focus On The Family Donating Nearly $100,000 To Maine Gay Marriage Ban Movement.

The Maine anti-equality warriors have taken to the newspapers, telling their citizens in Maine Residents Should Vote “Yes” on Question 1 that Proposition 1 isn’t about equality (b/c everything is allegedly equal in civil unions, which Maine already has) and it’s not about discrimination either, it’s “about forcing or imposing the gay/lesbian community’s will and morality on people who believe it contradicts their morality. And once it has the power of law behind it, it will eventually foster things like forcing ministers, priests, rabbis, etc., to officiate at these “weddings,” or their churches/synagogues lose their tax status and worse.” Oh Lord. Why are churches getting government funding to begin with? If you want to be independent from the government w/r/t your religious beliefs, then you can’t take the government’s money. Let’s not get all AIGey up in here.

AND Governor Baldacci points out that he opposed the measure initially until he learned that civil unions were not equal to civil marriage.

Matt Foreman argues that our calm & rational counter-arguments to Anti-Equality Maine’s ridiculous “teh gays will steal your children” ads aren’t gonna do it this time: when it comes to marriage, ads cannot do it – they must be matched with face-to-face conversations with voters.

Have you seen Phillip yet? You should. It will make your heart burst and you’ll want to send it to your parents:

If you doubt the extent to which this law will affect you, this piece from HuffPo will change your mind. In ‘Save for Retirement Week’ Rings Hollow for Gay and Lesbian Couples, Naomi G. Goldberg and Michael Steinberger point out that because marriage isn’t recognized under federal law, same-sex couples are often unable to provide for themselves after retirement. When a straight spouse dies, the balance of their 401K can be transferred without a tax bill and consequently at age 70.5, the spouse can begin taking money from this retirement account. The same-sex spouse will lose nearly half of every amount over $3.5 million due to the estate tax. Those with large estates will find same-sex spouses paying estate taxes that straight spouses are entirely exempt from.

Another interesting read from Truth Dig:

HATE CRIMES: The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr Hate Crimes Prevention Act was attached to a $680-billion measure outlining the Pentagon’s budget, which includes $130 billion for ongoing military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. This clever packaging enabled the Hate Crimes act to be passed by making it seem okay for Republicans and more conservative democrats to vote it through without taking a definitive stance on violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. In War is a Hate Crime, Chris Hedges argues that violence against people in Afghanistan and Iraq is also wrong and “in the bizarre culture of identity politics, there are no alliances among the oppressed.”

The brutality of Matthew Shepard’s killers, who beat him to death for being gay, is a product of a culture that glorifies violence and sadism. It is the product of a militarized culture … [which] attacks all that is culturally defined as the feminine, including love, gentleness, compassion and acceptance of difference.

To that end, we can only argue that Hate Crime Law or no, it’s likely the additional spending would have made it through Congress either way. Regardless, his point is excellent and valid. We do need to address the source of this violent culture that glorifies a specific sort of masculinity and power.

New York Magazine’s Queer-Friendly Sex Diaries: Yup, They’re Real.

SEX DIARIES: We love New York Magazine‘s sex diaries for the obvious reasons but especially because they’ve included some fascinating perspectives on queerly oriented persons rarely found in mainstream magazines, such as The Female-to-Male Pre-Op Transsexual, The Royal Duchess of Slutiness, The Lesbian Player, The Bisexual Polyamorist and our favorite The Newly Lesbian Lesbian, Who Is Loving It.

They’ve often seemed just too perfect to be true — for example, The Ex-Banker Living on Alcohol, Hook-ups, and Unemployment was so on point that we suspected it was another masterminded trick by those “Dating a Banker Anonymous” Blog Hoax Gals, but Adrienne Cohen insists that indeed they are real. She even shares the process of becoming a Sex Diarist. Perhaps you will be next!

For this sex diary focused issue (the diaries are only published online, so this is their first cameo in the print mag), a NY Mag writer was forced to ‘read all 800 pages of The Sex Diaries and, using them as a source text, develop some kind of taxonomy of contemporary sexual anxities.” Among other fascinating insights he confirms that “the quality in a Sex Diary most admired by commenters is the kind of confidence (or masochism) that allows for ruthless candor.”

WEB-GEEK: Yahoo’s Geocities is closing on October 26, taking a whole bunch of data with it. That’s right — gone. FOREVER. So this is your last chance to dig into those HTML tables and extract your Ani DiFranco guitar tabs, graduation photos, Alicia Silverstone gifs and that .wav of Jim Carrey yelling “Do NOT go in there!”.  Founded in 1994, Geocities was one of the first services to offer an easy way for early Internet surfers to publish their own Web pages.

READING RAINBOW: An ex-gay group says their views are not being heard because books like You Don’t Have to be Gay are missing from libraries. Yes, these people suck, but unfortunately, it shouldn’t be any tougher for them to get their books in libraries. Book-banning is awful, and first amendment rights should apply to everyone, even if their message is hateful. Any argument that could be made against them could also be used to ban great, gay-friendly books. On the bright side, most of the ex-gay arguments are so ridiculous, they refute themselves.

Meanwhile, controversy simmers around a children’s book with Lesbian Moms … yeah so, that’s been banned from Scholastic Book Fairs:

According to the School Library Journal, Scholastic says the book, released on October 1, failed to meet its vetting process because it contains offensive language and same-sex parents of one of the main characters, Milla.

TRANS HOMECOMING QUEEN: The College of William & Mary elected their first transgender homecoming queen.

GAY MARSHAL: We’ve talked about the woman nominated to be the first gay US Marshal before, but apparently she’s been a gay pioneer for years now. Back in the ’90s, she came out big time (on the front page of the Minneapolis paper) in an effort to make her fellow police officers more tolerant. It sounds like the military is going to need some people like her once DADT is gone. (@sfchronicle)

Charlize Theron Kissed a Girl, and Charity Liked Getting $140K For It

Charlize Theron’s Girl-on-Girl Kiss Snags 140K for charity, Sets Positive Example for Other Hot Philanthropic Actresses

After bidding to benefit charity OneXOne stalled at $37,000 for a package that included a South African trip with World Cup tickets, a safari and a meet-and-greet with Nelson Mandela, Theron upped the ante and offered a kiss. A man bid $135K and then a woman offered $140,000 and cinched the deal — ascending the stage for a 20-second smooch as the audience counted down: Charlize Theron’s lesbian kiss got 140K for charity. The Examiner has a scandalous video of the event. I hope that many other actresses take her lead, like Angelina Jolie (c’mon, she loves charity and she loves other women, so it’s a win-win), Kate Moennig, Sarah Shahi and Shannyn Sossamon. Really anyone. I’m sure someone would pay a few hundred to make out with like Sally Jessie Raphael or something.

Not to totally dweeb out on you, but we found ourselves wondering why none of these news outlets actually explained what OneXOne is. Well, founded in 2005, ONEXONE is “committed to supporting, preserving and improving the lives of children at home in the U.S., Canada, and around the world.” ONEXONE’S projects focus on five sectors contributing to a child’s overall wellbeing – Water, Hunger, Health Care, Education and Play. A lot of celebs work with ONEXONE, including Matt Damon, Mia Hamm and the cast of Entourage.

GLAMBERT: Adam Lambert Has a New Naked Friend: On Sexuality, Objectification, and Subversion: “I don’t get you; maybe the kids do. Who knows? Kids these days, with their Adam Lamberts and their sexting and their baggy pants. What we need to talk about is that, even if I did get you, I suspect I would still have some trouble parsing this …” [and then she cuts to that Details photo shoot where Lambert’s got nip in his mouth] A round-up of various theories presented in the media ensue. (@bitch)

THE LYNCH CAN DO NO WRONG: Jane Lynch is not affected by the recession because Jane Lynch can do no wrong, and she will be returning to Party Down, and E! reports exclusively that “both boldass blondes” [Jane Lynch and some girl named “Kristen Bell”] will be coming back to Starz’s thoroughly entertaining comedy Party Down.” (@e!)

FEMINIST WEDDINGS: Everyone yelled at Jessica Valenti about her wedding (seriously, people? feminists can get married, even feminist icons. how else can we change the institution without invading it?) so she is going to stick with this guy, forever ever (forever ever? forever ever ever) – Well I’m Damn Sure Never Getting Married Again: “We wanted to make the wedding representative of the institution we’d like marriage to be, and I think we did a good job. Does any of this change the fact that marriage is a historically sexist institution or make it okay that millions of people are denied the right to be married? Of course not. But it made the celebration one that made sense to us, one that re-imagined what marriage as an institution should be about – love, equal partnership and community.” (@feministing)

GAGA: You Can own a Lock of Lady Gaga’s Hair: The Super Deluxe Fame Monster Package will include many things, such as a collectible puzzle and a lock of Lady Gaga’s Hair. (@ohnotheydidnt)

GAY DADS: Parenting: The Rise of the Gay Dad: more and more children are being raised by same-sex couples (e.g., Rachel on Glee!). The Guardian has a bunch of stories from cute gay dad couples all over and it’s really interesting. (@guardian uk)

TOP TEN SEXY TOMBOYS: Nerve’s Top Ten Sexiest Tomboys includes a few of our favorite tomboys, but not all of ’em. We’re confident AfterEllen will get very upset about this and post about it & their own superior list next week. So we’ll just let them have it, and say nerve.com bravo on Ellen Page in Juno, Katee Sackhoff as Starbuck, Keira Knightley in Bend it Like Beckham, and Mia Hamm. But Joan Jett is not a tomboy, sorry! And Laurel Holloman in Two Girls in Love oughta be a shoo-in. WHERE THE HELL IS JO MARCH? JOAN OF ARC? ANGELINA JOLIE IN “FOXFIRE”? Done now! It’s all yours, AE. (@nerve)

Can Lesbians REALLY Have Sex? F*ck Yeah! It’s NSFW Sunday!

Lesbians Can Have Sex Too, Thank You: You know the deal. A boy and a girl are in a car together. The girl is talking about her girlfriend. The girl mentions having sex with her girlfriend. The boy tells her that “lesbians can’t have sex.” The girl gets really pissed off. Then the girl writes an article for “The Frisky” (a site we have a serious love/hate relationship with ourselves, but would defo have lesbian sex with, whatever that is, given the chance): “Sex is an intimate and passionate experience. It’s an important and emotional part of my relationship. When someone tells me what I experience and feel isn’t real just because I don’t have a dong, it’s demeaning and it makes me sad.” (@the frisky)

Oh yes, this again. Also this week on Blowfish’s Blog, Greta Christina responds to a recent Dan Savage column where Dan had to describe “what is sex” and asks: Does (X) count as having sex? And does it matter? Christina analyzes the various reasons that categorizing certain sex acts as “sex’ or “not sex” is useful or not, and cites her oft-cited 1992 essay: Are We Having Sex Now or What? in which she examines her initial reasons for counting lovers and how difficult it eventually became to do so as her sexual life grew more diversified — especially when she started f*cking girls:

I’d always made my list of sex partners by defining sex as penile-vaginal intercourse. But with women… well, first of all there’s no penis, so right from the start the tracking system is defective. And then, there are so many ways women can have sex with each other, touching and licking and grinding and fingering and fisting — with dildoes vegetables or whatever happens to be lying around the house, or with nothing at all except human bodies. Of course, that’s true with sex between women and men as well. But between women, no one method has a centuries-old tradition of being the one that counts … So when I started having sex with women, the binary system had to go, in favor of a more inclusive definition.

In 1993, two girls wrote the famous advice column Go Ask Alice! to confess that they were “considering lesbian activity” and have “always been intrigued by lesbians and have been asking the question, How do they do it?” It’s a quaint little response.

Then check out “the young lady’s guide to muffdiving.” Then chck out guru Felice Newman, author of “The Whole Lesbian Sex Book” (you remember that, right? From the photo [below] of Alice getting her gift from Phyllis?)’s website, she has all kinds of ideas about how lesbians have sex, from how to please a butch to how to jerk off like a guy.

Gallery: Naked Ladies Reading Banned Books: “Pinchbottom Burlesque debuted Naked Girls Reading Banned Books at Madame X on Friday, October 16. It was hosted by Nasty Canasta, with Gal Friday, GiGi La Femme, Jo Boobs, Legs Malone, Sapphire Jones and Naked Girls Reading creator, Michelle L’Amour.”

Bitchtapes: For Hot Hot Sexin’ it Up – your hot sex mix tape at @bitchblogs, in celebration of Bitch, Bed and Beyond.

College Football Preview: Cheerleader Edition – from this totally misogynistic website that irresistibly offers titilating galleries of hot girls, a reasonably “real” gallery this week. (@coed)

Lindsay Lohan goes shopping, lets you see her fantastic breasts, kinda, dude makes shitty remark about her face, which even at its worst, looks better than most of your faces.  (@egotastic)

Sexy Lesbian Tumblr Alert: Las Vegas Style.

Primetime Panty Pageant Returns To New York Let’s all look at pictures from last year’s show and remind ourselves how bizarre it is that Victoria’s Secret dominates the luxury underwear market in this country. (@fleshbot)

The Lesbian Sex Mafia wins The Village Voice’s Best Erotic Bloodletting award. (@villagevoice)

Jezebel takes a f*cking hilarious virtual trip to Loveland: “LoveLand is a South Korean sculpture park dedicated to sex, and is described by the park itself as “a place where sexually-oriented art and eroticism meet.” They failed to note that certain portions of the park are actually quite creepy.”

“From the pictures I saw, there were few (if any) pictures of same sex couples, though in fairness those statues may not have been shown in the pictures that were available to me.”

AFTER SEX: Here’s a clip from a movie with Mila Kunis and Zoe Saldana. And it’s about girl-on-girl action and I think you’ll like it.