Boob(s On Your) Tube: “How To Get Away With Murder” Is Getting Away With Stealing Our Hearts
It’s a light week for queer teevee on account of The World Series taking up three thousand hours and preempting all of the good stuff on Fox (and also the bad stuff on Fox; take that, Scream Queen) — but hey, How to Get Away With Murder aired a really revolutionary trans storyline, and there’s other stuff we need to talk about, too.
American Horror Story: Hotel
Wednesdays on FX at 10:00 p.m.
Written by Tina Horn
Are you sure you dropped some Skittles down here? I can’t find them anywhere.
If you, like me, spent your teen years obsessed with the horror-fantasy comic Sandman, you’ll remember an issue about a “Cereal Convention.” In a generic hotel, serial killers (get it?) gather to get nerdy about murders and executions.
This week’s episode of AHS reminded me of that story a lot; except instead of a convention, “Devil’s Night” is a party at the Hotel Cortez where everybody dances to Velvet Underground covers. And while Neil Gaiman invented a bunch of fictional killers, AHS invites the ghosts of real-life infamous people. This creep factor is one of my favorite things about the show; even when surrounded by supernatural monstrosities, nothing is more depraved than what humans do to themselves and one another.
We need to talk about Lily Rabe as Aileen Wuornos. As a beloved recurring cast member (personally, my mood can always be improved by clips of her as Satanically-possessed Sister Mary Eunice humping the bed to “You Don’t Own Me,” or as swamp witch Misty Day twirling to “Rhianon”), Rabe’s appearance signals a special characterization. The real-life Wuornos was definitely a psychotic killer, but is also seen by many as an outlaw misandrist hero.
Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling!
For a moment, in Rabe’s first scene at the bar, I was excited that we were seeing a vision of Wuornos as a woman who had the nerve to fight back against the abusive patriarchal circumstances of her life. But when drunk John Lowe invites her to his room (believing her to be a horny girl in a very realistic Wurornos costume) Liz Taylor hisses at him, “You’re too drunk to see how ugly that woman is.” Lowe says “I’m too drunk to care.” This really pissed me off. Who thought this was a funny line? Who calls people ugly, especially a real life butch lesbian?
In Lowe’s room, Wuornos goes full psycho, cuffing him to a chair and accusing him of a bunch of shit. Though Rabe gave Wuornos some dignity by just being such a goddamn good actress, the show was sort of undermining her heroic reputation. The switch suggests that she invented the stories of attempted rape by posing as a prostitute and luring men to their death before shooting and robbing them. I cannot deny that Wuornos murdered men, even if it was in self defense or justifiable rape vengeance. But if you’re going to create a fictional story in which real serial killers have a glamorous sexy powerful club, it’s definitely a misogynist move to portray the female as the ugly, lying, out-of-control one.
Just dance!
Shhh, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm.
That quip aside, I thought this episode was gangbusters. This morning (which happens to be October 30th, the real Devil’s Night), I was biking to work and an older gentleman in Carharts crossed my path wielding a six-foot tall bloody scythe. “Cute!” I said, instead of “WTF?!” The Halloween joke, “That is such a convincing costume!” never loses its luster because our sense of danger really is blurred when everyone is masquerading as something spooky. That mindfuck is what I love about Halloween and AHS.
Notes on random excellence:
This week it was Chloe Sevigny’s turn to drink the ancient blood virus from Lady Gaga’s breast, mama to mama.
I appreciated that the businessman brutally sacrificed to the serial killers was introduced making whorephobic comments about girls in sexy Halloween costumes.
John Carroll Lynch, who played Twisty the Clown last season, as John Wayne Gacy, the real life inspiration for Twisty, was another stroke of stunt casting genius.
Predictions:
I am fully Team John-Lowe-is-the-Ten-Commandments-Killer. The blackouts we never see flashbacks to. The guilt over losing his child. His inclusion on the guest list of serial killers. His “late hours at the office.” The fact that March seems to know something about him…
Iris is going to become the most vicious killer of all and we are gonna get fucked-up Kathy Bates with blood all over her face going full Misery and it’s gonna rule.
Alex is going to break in her new blood craving on bad mom Shelly from Twin Peaks, sending a warning to anti-vaxxers everywhere.
Arrow
Wednesdays on The CW at 8:00 p.m.
What do you mean you couldn’t find any Count Chocula? IT’S HALLOWEEN.
Sara is still alive on this week’s Arrow. Well. “Sara.” But Laurel is the only one who seems to think her sister’s soul is still alive in her sister’s resurrected body. They’ve got her chained up in the basement and she doesn’t recognize Laurel or her dad or pictures of anyone in her family. And one time she kind of sort of tries a little bit to strangle Laurel to death. My friend Valerie called her a “feral kitten,” last week, which is just about the truest thing I’ve ever heard. I think Lauren thinks so too, so she returns to the dungeon to feed Sara a sandwich and sit on the floor and not make eye contact with her — the first step of socializing all feral cats — but Sara has escaped.
Whoops.
How to Get Away With Murder
Thursdays on ABC at 10:00 p.m.
There’s only two things I do really well, sweetheart, and getting away with murder is the other one.
This week’s How to Get Away With Murder case of the week is about a trans professor who teaches with Annalise. Her name is Jill and she’s played by out trans actress Alexandra Billings. Jill is trapped in an abusive relationship with her husband and finds that the only way she can get out is to kill him. She hasn’t been watching this show, so she doesn’t actually know how to get away with murder. She makes the rookie mistakes of using a landline and faking some witnesses and setting up a crime scene. Luckily she’s dear friends with Annalise, who is the best of the best at what she does and also knows what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship, so she doesn’t get convicted.
Our trans editor, Mey Rude, and TV intern, Sadie weigh in with their thoughts below.
Mey’s Thoughts
Are you sure she’s over Wolverine?
Um, when was she under Wolverine?
First of all, I was really excited to see Alexandra Billings in this role. Not only is it good to see that they actually cast a trans woman to play a trans woman (unlike Law & Order, another show that recently aired a “trans episode”), but also she’s been a working actor for a while, blazing trails for other trans actors, and it’s nice to see her getting more roles. Also, it’s nice to see a trans woman in a role on a tv show about murder where she’s not playing a dead victim who repeatedly gets misgendered by the people trying to solve her murder.
The cops were predictably gross, telling her “you lied to your husband” and that it was rational for him to freak out when “he found out what you are.” But the show stepped up its game by actually having not only Billings’ character call him out right there (way to not take any abuse any more) but then also have the star of the show, Annalise Keating, say that the transphobic cop added to her trauma by verbally abusing her after she was attacked by her husband. Annalise shout-asking “How is it not a hate crime?” is something I find myself doing all the time when trans women are murdered and the police decide not to investigate it as a hate crime.
They actually talked about Cece McDonald! How awesome is that!? And they didn’t just drop her name, they had a trans woman tell her story, talk about what happened to her. That was amazing.
Finally, Annalise and Jill talking about love and bonding over the relief they feel now that they’re out of abusive relationships was terrific. Jill saying “I believed him when he said he was the only one who could ever love me” stabbed me right in the heart. That’s something that we, as trans women, hear all the time, from society, from the men we sleep with, from the women we sleep with, from all around us, and here was a trans woman who finally fought back against that and broke free of that mental abuse. I think this was the best Very Special Trans Episode of a show that I’ve ever seen.
A few other notes:
“Old ladies can like vag too.” That line made me throw my head back and laugh.
I really like that not only is Annalise on Jill’s side in this case, but they’re old friends. It shows that trans people are a part of her life and that her fighting against the transphobic husband and cop wasn’t just for show.
Sadie’s Thoughts
Is a threesome with you and Jean Grey still on the table, or…?
I thought Alexandra Billings was a fantastic choice for this show and I almost expect to see her take the lead on a show of her own within the next few years (which, as an avid teevee watcher, I really couldn’t find myself saying not that long ago). Trans characters on shows like this are often time relegated to angsty teens who are convinced or often forced backwards or a tragic older person with no one at all on their side. Because of this history one of my favorite aspects of this episode was that Jill and Annalise were already friends to begin with, and that meant every transphobic comment was met with a rebuttal rather than being used as a cheap joke at the trans person’s expense. I’ll be honest, I was worried about how this would go down considering Shondaland doesn’t have a super great track record, with some of the missteps made in Grey’s Anatomy, alongside the fact that this storyline breaches into trope territory (femme fatale trans women murders husband), but it was incredibly refreshing to see that kind of thing turned on its head by showing just how much Jill and Annalise have in common.
All and all I thought the storyline itself was a little thin but it was handled expertly.
Heather’s Thoughts
When I downloaded Sadie’s screencaps, they made me laugh so hard.
Carmilla
Tuesdays and Thursdays on YouTube
Written by Karly
Being ashamed to talk about pads is a tool of the patriarchy, y’all.
This week Carmilla, Perry, and Mel agree that their missing periods is related to students all over campus acting like farm animals and magic is involved. Like seasons 1 and 2, the main plot takes a backseat to the characters interacting with each other. Mel is so shy, Perry is like a mix of Hermione Granger and Professor Trelawney, and Carmilla is trying to be the aviator-wearing guard in Cool Hand Luke.
In present day, Laura is taken aback that Carmilla threatened to break so many fingers and Carmilla shrugs, like “Stop forgetting I’m a vampire.” Then they tease each other and it’s adorable. I missed Laura in episode 3, but she made up for it all in that one scene.
But back on the VHS tapes, Carmilla doesn’t use thumb screws on Perry. Instead she stomps on Perry’s attempts to cast spells, telling her the OtherWorld doesn’t reveal itself to muggles. You can see the sparkle leave Perry’s eyes. Words can hurt worse than thumb screws.
What, no. I don’t love you. Whatever. Pshaw. Psh. Ha! Whatever.
Next week maybe they find a clue or they could just play Clue on that giant awesome table. I would watch either.
Boob(s On Your) Tube: “Lost Girl” Airs Its Final Faewell
Boob(s On Your) Tube is a twice-weekly round-up of all the queer shenanigans happening on your TV. The column runs on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Survivor’s Remorse
Saturdays on Starz at 9:30 p.m.
SPOILER ALERT!
Survivor’s Remorse ended a strong second season in sudsy dramatic fashion by killing Uncle Julius in a car crash. It was such a departure from the more lighthearted drama this show usually tackles (or the real world drama it takes on in a satirical way) that I actually didn’t believe it was the real deal. But a quick peek at IMDB reveals that the actor who plays Julius is heading up an Uncle Buck reboot, and no showrunner can resist the urge to smash a character to bits when the actor is exciting the show anyway. And so. Uncle Julius, your one-liners will be missed!
This was another fantastic season of one of the most under-watched, underrated shows on TV and I’m so psyched it’s coming back for at least another year. The first half of this season was really M-Chuck-heavy, but the last four episodes swerved into rom-com territory as Cam fell in love with a nurse named Allison who actually might be his soulmate. In only ten episodes, season two explored domestic violence, reproductive health, the perpetual racism of upward mobility, disproportionate employment opportunities for black actors, entrenched homophobia in the church, and, as always, the bond of family.
M-Chuck remains of the most refreshing queer characters on primetime and if I had one wish for 2016, it would be that Starz would make it easier to watch their shows so everyone could see Survivor’s Remorse. (And the unshakable queerness of Black Sails, too, if you’re gonna have Starz anyway.)
Lost Girl
Sundays on (Canada’s) Showcase at 9:00 p.m.
After five seasons, Lost Girl — the genesis of Canada’s top notch lesbian TV exportation and one of the most consistently queer shows on television — has finally bid us adieu. The series finale aired on Sunday night. The plot was so convoluted during the final season (especially these last eight episodes) that I won’t even try to hammer it out for you. If you’re still watching, you got it as much as you’re gonna get it; and if you’re not still watching, you only want to know one thing: Did Bo and Lauren end up together?
Yes, reader, they did.
I actually enjoyed the symbolism of the finale much more than the plot of the finale: A bisexual succubus who spent most of her life alone in the world and afraid of her own power finally faced off against a father who wanted to enslave her and control her sexuality so he could control the world. (Patriarchy anybody?) But with the help of her found family, which included two other queer women, she defeated his evil ass and pledged to help her new sister (Tamsin’s baby) fight him off, too, until he was conquered for good. And while she was working toward that, her found family decided to work toward smashing this whole Dark/Light binary the fae foisted upon them when they were just young whippersnapping superheroes.
And Bo and Lauren, they practically got married. After Bo’s final battle with Hades, and after sending Tamsin off to Valkyrie heaven and Tamsin’s baby off to live with Kenzi, Bo hopped up onto the hood of a hot rod with Lauren and:
Lauren: I, human, Lauren Lewis, want to spend the rest of my life with you, succubus, Bo Dennis.
Bo: I always thought because of who I am, I couldn’t have a relationship — let alone with a human. And you broke my heart.
Lauren: A mistake that I made twice, and one that I would never make again.
Bo: Lauren, we are messy. We’re complicated. That hasn’t changed.
Lauren: And I hope it never does. Do you think we can do this?
Bo: I do.
Doccubus: SMOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCH.
Lost Girl‘s ratings tanked over the last two seasons, but queer women really stuck with this thing, and it’s so rare to be rewarded for that loyalty. Lost Girl arrived on the scene when there were very few women kissing on television — and almost no women having sex with each other, especially with the lights on — and it so it was part of a core group of shows (including Glee and Pretty Little Liars) that shepherded in a new kind of lesbian and bisexual representation on TV.
Lost Girl wasn’t without its problems, particularly it’s unbelievably transphobic season three premiere episode. I’m so happy with so much of the legacy of this show, but that storyline is a blight on it that I’m never not going to think of when I fondly remember the revolutionary queer stuff it did really well. (And you’ll notice the other two shows I mentioned up there, Glee and PLL, have been similarly reckless and irresponsible with their trans storylines. Like how hard it is to not use the “deceptive trans person” trope? It’s not hard at all! It’s so easy! Just don’t do it!) (At least Lost Girl apologized? Unlike Glee and PLL?)
Lost Girl gave us a happy ending I honestly didn’t see coming. I thought for sure Lauren or Bo or both of them were going to have to throw themselves into the hellmouth or whatever to save the world at the end of the day, but I’m glad they survived and decided to ride off into the sunset together. It’s so rare to see a male-female-female love triangle end with two women together. And, you know, Lost Girl is a show that lasted five seasons with a bisexual lead character. That’s a huge deal. Here’s one last smackeroo for the road.
Jane the Virgin
Mondays on The CW at 9:00 p.m.
Last night’s episode of Jane the Virgin was one of my all-time favorites, which is saying something on account of this is one of my most beloved shows on TV. “Chapter 24” centers on two stories: Jane’s struggle to Have It All, a thing that includes leaving Mateo much earlier than she intended to take a pre-requisite class that will allow her to start grad school; and Mateo’s baptism, an event that is framed beautifully with Villanueva family traditions started by Alba because she left nearly everything behind when she moved to the United States in search of a better life for Xiomara. During Mateo’s baptism, Jane reads a letter Xo read at Jane’s baptism, and that Alba read at Xo’s baptism. It’s beautifully acted and directed, and a two-minute scene that showcases some of the very best things about this show. These strong, vulnerable, determined Latina women whose bond with each other is their comfort and their strength.
And because of that bond, both Alba and Xo are able to convince Jane that they’ll handle Mateo together — the three of them — so that she can pursue her grad school dreams.
Gina Rodriguez is putting on an acting masterclass this season. I will be furious if she doesn’t get another Golden Globe nomination.
In one of the other fifty-seven amazing plots, Luisa has been kidnapped and is being held in a bunker by a couple of German guys. She recognizes their language because she spent a summer getting drunk and sleeping with a lot of women in Munich. Luisa is terrified at first, crying and begging for them to call her brother, but then she decides it’s Rose who has captured her, so she hilariously monologues her internal conflict about whether or not her situation is infuriating or romantic. And she also starts demanding things from her captors, like room temperature water. In the end, though, it turns out Rose isn’t the one who had her kidnapped, and in fact whoever did kidnap her is trying to ransom her to Rose. In German she starts yelling things like, “I’ll sleep with your wife!” but the brutes holding her wallop her in the shin and take a photo of her shrieking to send off to whoever is paying them.
Maybe it’s Rick! (Lachlan.)
American Horror Story: Hotel
Wednesdays on FX at 10:00 p.m.
Written by Tina Horn
Hotel really brought it with the gothic pseudo incestuous desire this week.
Chloe Sevigny (giving an understated performance as the suffering, logical, non-supernatural Dr. Alex that is really grounding the mayhem) reveals in voice-over that she was perhaps unreasonably obsessed with her son Holden (his head smelled like lavender?), and loved him more than her husband or daughter. Now that the entire family has spotted the missing boy at the Cortez, will they attempt to liberate him, and can that go anything other than very badly? Meanwhile, Kathy Bates (Iris) really wants her son Matt Bomer (Donovon) to love her as much as she loves him, even though all he does is scream hateful things at her. She tries to escape into death, and he feeds her his virus blood.
Angela Basset finally arrives as ’70s blacksplotatian star named Ramona Royale, who was then spurned by Lady Gaga’s Countess. I guess I didn’t really explain last week that the Countess, Donovon, and maybe the creepy blonde kids, aren’t vampires; they have a virus that keeps them young and makes them crave blood. A good friend of mine in the bleeder community informed me that Ryan Murphy has proclaimed that the ancient blood virus is “a form of hemophilia in a way.” The NHF is up in arms!
The Countess has apparently spent the 20th century feeding hotties her blood virus, living in murderous femme decadence for a few decades, and then discarding them when they decide they’d prefer Netflix and chill to hunt and kill. She and Ramona split when Gaga murdered Ramona’s male rapper lover, Prophet Moses in the ’90s.
Here are two issues I have with the Prophet Moses. Not the name. Great early ’90s hip hop name. First of all, the opportunity was right there for an alternate history conspiracy theory about the Countess being responsible for Tupac or Biggie’s murder. Second, and more importantly: while I am always happy to see bisexual characters, Ramona struck me as “only lesbian for the supernatural appeal” which is definitely a tired problem. Femme-on-femme desire is not something that only exists as a metaphor for otherworldly hedonistic indulgence.
That being said! Their affair was an excuse for many delicious period looks and make out sessions. In the ’70s scene, Gaga looks exactly like Hedwig when she gets in the car crash with Tommy Gnosis! Gaga also has a move on this show where she gets in female superior position and wears a thong during sex and her ass just looks absolutely perfect. It is very difficult to wear incredible outfits and pose well. We often deride or dismiss this skill precisely because it is something we typically ask women to do.
Going back to the Mommy Issues theme, we see both Gaga and Basset feed the blood of eternal life to her lover from her breast during sex. When we see Donovon turning his mother, he opens his wrist. Like I said, this is some classic Gothic Literature shit made hammy as hell and in case it’s not clear I love it.
Hotel might be trying to say something interesting about bisexuality. Both Tristan (who reminds me so much of my entitled junkie ex-roommate it’s truly scary) and the Countess attempt to seduce Will Drake, but interrupt one another. Drake tells Gaga he’s definitively gay, followed by this cringy sentence; “I feel the same way with you as I did when I kissed my first man.” Gaga straddles him, and when Tristan interrupts she exits, purring, “By the way, you’re hard.”
So many questions still unanswered: Will Liz Taylor’s character evolve beyond tasteless pencil skirt jokes? What does it mean that notorious serial killer James March is a Scorpio? Will Hakim arrive to rescue Naomi Campbell?
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Boob(s On Your) Tube: Jane the Virgin Is Back and as Kickass as Ever
Welcome back to Boob(s On Your) Tube, your twice-weekly round-up of all the queer lady things on the television set. Thank you for your patience as we shake out the kinks in this new column format, with new contributors and new interns. Hopefully, we’ve tinkered enough behind the scenes that we’re ready to start rolling this column out in its full glory. Hang onto your free trade vegan locally knit beanies!
Jane the Virgin
Mondays on The CW at 9:00 p.m.
Jane the Virgin is back in all its telenovonic glory, and I am so happy to see that all the things that made this show my very favorite hour of TV last season are still here and as sweet and silly and feminist as ever. Season two picked up only eleven minutes after season one left off, with Sin Rostro (Rose! *shakes fist*) absconding with tiny Mateo. His disappearance, almost immediate rescue, and inability to nurse allow Gina Rodriguez to showcase her remarkable range, zigging from making me sob and zagging to making me giggle, all in a single breath.
Luisa is back to and as much of a lovable wreck as ever. Like the first episode of last season, she finds herself with a broken heart — only this time it’s because her girlfriend, Juicy, caught her going through a box of her ex-ex-girlfriend, Rose’s, shit. But only because she needed to return the broach that she stole the night Rose broke into the insane asylum to scissor with her so that Michael could trade it for Mateo because really it’s a zip drive with information about all the face transplants Rose did for crime lords in the basement of her dead husband’s hotel before she buried him alive in cement.
(God, I love this show.)
So, Luisa fumbles around and accidentally convinces Petra to impregnate herself with the secret sample of Rafael’s sperm, then decides to learn the hotel business, then gets kidnapped.
Gotham
Mondays on Fox at 8:00 p.m.
This show is such a mess, and the way they writers are handling Barbara Kean’s bisexuality is like a thousand steps backwards to the dark ages of Sweeps Weeks Lesbianism. I’ve written a standalone essay about this season that I’ll publish tomorrow, after which I plan to wipe my hands of this show and reclaim one hour of my life every week.
Fresh off the Boat
Tuesdays on ABC at 8:00 p.m.
Written by Laura Mandanas
On episode 202 of Fresh off the Boat (which, by the way, has just been picked up for a full second season!) the Huangs are in the market for a new car. After Louis surprises Jessica on their anniversary by bringing her to a car dealership to get a new car (“you can negotiate, just like on our wedding night!”), Jessica flees to her favorite bar, The Denim Turtle. This is a lesbian bar full of butch women that first made its appearance last season in the episode “Blind Spot.”
The running gag is that Jessica doesn’t understand that it’s a lesbian bar; she just likes it because the women are really friendly and “for some reason,” men don’t bother her there. Anyway, this time, Louis follows her into the bar. “This set of testicles bothering you?” the bartender asks. “No Deb, he’s just my husband,” Jessica replies. “Louis, sit down. There’s something I need to tell you.”
The bartender nods knowingly: “Ooh, that conversation. You’re gonna need more Chex mix.” She helpfully pours some and leaves the couple to talk (a double entre-laden conversation about how Jessica regrets not getting free floor mats when they negotiated on their wedding night).
Louis leaves, and the bartender returns proudly. “Band-aid’s off, honey. You did it.” She gestures to herself, “Wiener free since ’83.”
The line could be read as transphobic, and while trans women aren’t really the butt of the joke here, our trans editor Mey Rude weighed in with these thoughts: “It’s not transphobic because it’s making fun of trans women; it’s transphobic because it’s saying that lesbians don’t sleep with trans women and trans women can’t be lesbians.” It’s a reminder that even some of our favorite fictional queer spaces need to do a better. It’s on us to catch this language and call it out.
Grandfathered
Tuesdays on Fox at 8:00 p.m.
I truly do not understand my soft spot for this show, but I am happy to report that Intern Karly and Intern Sadie feel exactly the same way I do about it: inexplicably charmed. In the most recent episode, Annalise confronts Jimmy about his control freak ways, revealing that she has been working with him for a decade without him entrusting her with any more responsibility, and also that “every time somebody tries to get real with you, you change the subject.” She nudges him out of the nest and toward learning how to be a good dad and granddad by suggesting chill changes to the restaurant, all of which Jimmy agrees to, until she suggests hiring a bartender — sorry, mixologist — who wears suspenders ironically. Even Annalise isn’t perfect. (Just kidding Annalise is perfect.)
Scream Queens
Tuesdays on Fox at 9:00 p.m.
You know how sometimes supervillains are like, “Blah blah blah and you’ll beg for death and whatever mwahaha thing”? For the first time in my life, I am begging for a lesbian character to die. If Sam goes, I can stop watching this show. She didn’t do much of note this week: bailed Chanel out of jail, placed a bet about whether or not Zayday was still alive (she was). The problem with this formulaic mishmash of GIF-worthy moments and tweetable quotes at the expense of, you know, actually telling a story (or actually developing a character) is that it trends. And if it trends it’s never going to end.
Empire
Wednesdays on Fox at 9:00 p.m.
Written by Carolyn Wysinger
This week Empire gets raided, which is a perfect opportunity for the stylists to show off a newly rugged-bearded Jamal as he performs for an artist that is creating a vanity portrait. I won’t lie: I got all the sexy queer feels watching the guy swoon over Jamal while his boyfriend stood by confused. When Lyon Dynasty sees the raid on the news ,they believe this is their opportunity to pounce on Empire — until they also get raided. The Feds arrive to ransack their headquarters as well. This does prompt the return of power lezzie Mimi Whiteman and this weird scene where Wall Street Mimi is schooled about street cred in hip-hop by Lucious, who insists that this raid is the best thing to happen to Empire because it makes it an “OG” company that no one can touch. He determines that they will use the press and milk as much money out of it as they can.
Cookie negotiates a truce with Lucious by convincing him that Hakeem and Jamal should film a video together to show that the family is sticking together. I know that recaps are supposed to be light and fun, but here is where I have to insert a little bit of seriousness. Throughout this season, Empire has been attempting to loop in the themes of the Black Lives Matter movement against police brutality. In my opinion, their attempts have been poor and tasteless as the story is taking place against the background of Lucious’ criminal activity. Those that don’t try to paint Lucious as an innocent black man being targeted by the police have instead come off as humorous, misplaced and distasteful.
Early in this episode, as Empire is being raided, Becky films the scene with her cell phone. When an officer take her phone she yells, “You’re violating my rights. Jamal give me your phone.” The line was delivered like a joke, making light of the back and forth between the police and the public about their right to film police activity.
For this music video, Lucious wants to go for a “post-apocalyptic black panther theme,” with the brothers fighting police oppression. (Coincidentally, the episode airs on the anniversary of the founding of The Black Panther Party.) They take the imagery of the Black Panther Party and cross it with Tupac and Dr Dre’s classic “California Love” flick to make a video about getting money and power. I struggle to understand how the writers thought that this would be an appropriate homage to the Panthers at all.
While they are shooting, Cookie is pulled out by the Feds and arrested. After she is thrown in the squad car, she brings back one of the popular hashtags #ifidieinpolicecustody, evoking images of Sandra Bland. Again, the line was delivered as more of a joke and I start to wonder who is writing these lines and are they truly attempting to give screen time to the movement and be culturally relevant or simply trying to use it to get ratings? If they truly are seeking to be relevant they need to work a little harder and not making the work come off as a satire of the fight going on in the community.
Meanwhile everyone is trying to figure out how they can use the case against Lucious to their advantage. Cookie gets arrested by the DA who insists that she give her some info on Lucious to stay out of jail. Cookie feeds her a fake story about how Lucious was fighting with Bunky about the radio deal, which guarantees that the Feds will hold up the deal as they investigate.
Andre is still desperate to get back into Empire and informs his wife that God told him to dig up Vernon; the DA has Lucious believe that she has hidden Vernon as her star witness. Andre decides that if he turns the body over to the Feds, the case will go away and Lucious will have to let him back into the company. They go out to the woods where they buried Vernon but can’t find him. Just when they thought the police had caught up with them it turned out to be Lucious and his shady lawyer, Thursty, who just happens to have a corpse detector. Who has one of those laying around? In true devil fashion, Lucious is impressed that Andre not only killed for him but was willing to turn himself in to keep Lucious out of jail. Our first glimpse of the corpse is sitting in the DA’s passenger seat. Sort of a Halloween surprise, I suppose.
Next week the Lyons go to church. This should be fun.
American Horror Story: Hotel
Wednesdays on FX at 10:00 p.m.
Written by Tina Horn
I was disappointed by this week’s episode, so I don’t know how much I have to say about it. There wasn’t much queer development; hence, its inability to grip me. Copious violence aside, it somehow lacked that certain creepy suspense that I come back to AHS for even when it’s preposterously lacking in cohesion.
However, Gaga had a Lady Godiva disco scene from which I will be deriving GIFs for years to come.
The episode’s high point for me came at the end, when newly-turned pseudo vampire Tristan finds a lumbersexual on Grindr and invites him to the Cortez; upstairs, Gaga barges in on their hookup dressed in military fetish gear for whatever reason. No sooner can our bearded guest manage the very Grindr-esq utterance, “Nah man, vag play is where I draw the line,” than our antiheroes stab him in the throat. Gaga touches herself while Tristan feeds on this gynophobic jerk. Bisexual revenge fantasies anyone?
I’m hoping Chutes and Ladders was merely a sophomore slum, and things will come roaring back next week in the form of La Basset, who reportedly plays Gaga’s ex-lover.
Rosewood
Wednesdays on Fox at 10:00 p.m.
Pippy and TMI broke free from Rosewood’s lab this week! Pippy and her brother try to plan a surprise party for their mom — she’s retiring — but she shuts down their plans and gifts them a surprise make stripper for their effort. (Both Pippy and Rosewood are annoyed by his presence.) And then, for her ultimate comeuppance, Pippy is forced to return to the basement and chain herself to her work station and do forensics all day and all night with no food for five days. Rosewood catches another killer. He and Villa banter. TMI reveals that she’d like to get a sperm sample from Rosewood in case she and Pippy ever want to have a baby. And that’s all there is to another week of this procedural.
Grey’s Anatomy
Thursdays on ABC at 8:00 p.m.
Written by Aja
At the Haus of Sister Lady Chiefs, everyone gives Maggie carpool grief for loudly boinking the intern, until Karev interrupts them to remind Grey of her dinner party later that night as well as the fact that HSLC sounds like they need adult supervision. (Rude.)
At the hospital, Edwards and Jo shoot the shit about whether or not they should go to Grey’s fancy dinner party but the real action is between April (in denial about the fact that she’s being divorced) and lez darling Arizona (who isn’t sure she should go to the fancy Grey dinner if Callie’s bringing her new flame, Penny). They decide to fish around and see if Callie plans to bring her to the party the whole thing is terrible and awkward and transparent, even more so when Callie says she wasn’t sure if Arizona’d be OK with it.
Arizona responds by acting like Hannah Montana in a scene filmed next to an open locker at junior high, so Callie says, “Totes awesome, I’ll invite her then!” and you can almost hear the audience groan in unison.
A bunch of godawful hospital stuff happens: Amelia tries out a tortuous new method for accelerating brain surgery recovery that triggers Edwards’ childhood trauma, the dummy interns don’t know what a “silver flood” is (a wave of senior citizens coming through the ER as the result of an accident — in this case, a bus crash full of frisky olds) or how to tell next of kin their family member has died, resulting in Grey giving a really beautiful and heart wrenching speech at the end.
Here’s the part where I tell you that my period app was like DING! Hey, girl. PMS is starting and I sobbed my way through the entire episode, during which Arizona has nothing better to do than flip out over meeting Penny and chill with a super cute old guy with an incredible story about how he’s going to propose to the love of his life after she gets out of surgery. They talk and talk and eat Jell-O until she’s forced to leave him alone for 5 minutes. Of course he dies (which reminds me, Grey gives another speech declaring that she’s now Widow Grey and dead inside and no longer riding the orgasm train but it’s fine, she’s fine, EVERYTHING IS FINE, you guys), which sends Arizona straight into a supply closet to have a good cry about how she thought she’d never find love again so it’s a damn good thing that dude died and restored her twisted faith in the resilience of the romantic human heart. April’s there to listen and also burst into tears, so we’re all three of us crying in the supply closet together and what does she do? Wails that she DOESN’T WANNA FIND A NEW SOULMATE BECAUSE SHE ALREADY HAS ONE EXCEPT HE WANTS A DIVORCE. Arizona and I look at her, give her a few motherly clucks, and tell her this shit is not about her life right now, it’s about us. (Rude.)
I’d like to interrupt this recap to give a very important PSA that will make the world a better place: Look, people, if you work very closely or live or love very closely in a small, intimate group, it behooves you not to be an asshole, demonstrate good faith where it’s been earned, and give others the benefit of the doubt. Got it? Awesome.
It’s time for the dinner party. Edwards and wretched Jo scored invites, so they’re there, brave Arizona and April are there, as well as Karev, Grey, and Amelia. Maggie is still at the hospital boinking the intern (again), when Callie pulls up. Arizona downs an entire glass of wine and Widow Grey goes to get the door. When she opens it, Callie’s standing on her doorstep with the redheaded lady doctor who was part of the team that treated Derek. Of course, they failed, so Derek is dead and the theme of the next episode is…
GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER?
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Boob(s On Your) Tube: Lady Gaga Arrives on “American Horror Story,” Bre-Z Returns to “Empire”
Welcome back to your twice-weekly round-up of queer TV! Lady Gaga has arrived on American Horror Story: Hotel, in a premiere episode that squicked out most of our staff; rapper Bre-Z returned to Empire as Freda Gatz; and Riese broke my heart by telling me how much she likes Scream Queens. It’s been quite a week!
Grandfathered
Tuesdays on Fox at 8:00 p.m.
“It’s always going to be Annalise,” is a thing John Stamos said to his staff this week when he was choosing which of his employees to invite to attend Diddy’s White Party with him. Of course, he didn’t end up going to Diddy’s White Party at all because he had to learn a lesson about how sometimes it’s better to spend time with being goofy with your family at the beach than schmoozing with models half your age. It’s the same lesson he’s going to learn for at least the first 13 episodes of this season (if the show lasts that long), because That’s Just The Way It Is with high-concept sitcoms. Annalise, however, does attend Diddy’s White Party and she has a real good time. In fact, she makes a murder-suicide pact with Ravi because life peaks inside the party and they don’t want to go on living in a world outside of it. (They were okay, though! Annalise just danced with models in John Stamos’ place, and drank a lot of champagne.)
Scream Queens
Tuesdays on Fox at 9:00 p.m.
You guys. YOU GUYS. Riese really likes Scream Queens. She said it to me three different times this week, and I died a little more inside each time. For me, Scream Queens is so much of what was wrong with the last five seasons of Glee, condensed into five weeks. For starters, because there’s no writers room, it’s just Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan each writing their interpretations of the characters on a rotation, and so none of the characters’ decisions make much sense because each writer is just picking up where they left off on the last episode they wrote. And in the absence of actual characterization, each of the women becomes a mouthpiece for whatever axe these guys have to grind. (All three of them have serious issues with identity politics, so at least their characters are consistent in lampooning those conversations?)
One of the thing that gets my goat the most about these dudes is how much they seem to hate fans. The final season of Glee, with Sue Sylvester being a satanic manifestation of Kurt and Blaine fans, remember that? I hated it! I thought that storyline was such a wanker move. This week, Falchuck skewer’s Taylor Swift and her super fans by having Chanel send her Instagram followers presents, only instead of college scholarships it’s like rotten pumpkins literal boxes of blood. And, look, I get that there are plenty of problems with fan culture and with Taylor Swift’s entitled white feminism, but at least all those people are doing the brave and vulnerable work of trying to care about something in a world that rewards misanthropic cynicism and snark.
And none of these writers would be where they are in their careers right now if it hadn’t been for these young, excited fans (many of whom were gay kids who’d never seen themselves on TV before) watching Glee and buying tickets to their tours and buying merch and participating in online fandom. Ryan Muprhy, especially, would not be where he is. So ridiculing those kinds of folks seems less like looking a gift horse in the mouth and more like punching a gift horse in the face. It’s so easy and so cheap.
(I should say, though, that Riese really liked this Taylor Swift thing and laughed a lot and honestly maybe I’m just being too sensitive.)
There was no gay stuff this week. Sam was around a little bit while Chanel and Zayday faced off against each other in a battle for sorority president. Zayday wants to set up a charity haunted house at this place on Shady Lane that apparently used to be inhabited by a(n actual) hag who howled out the windows for her lost babies. She was spotted a couple of weeks after the bathtub baby went missing from Kapa in 1995, stealing milk and whatever, and so they all assume she’s the one who raised her. Chanel thinks Zayday will ruin Kapa the way Obama has ruined America, what with giving out free cell phones and all that, and so she is more determined than ever to continue her reign. Sadly for her, Zayday’s haunted house is a huge hit because actual dead bodies show up there.
Grace and Pete wander around dressed up like one of our nation’s dumbest rom-coms looking for more clues about the bathtub baby. They find them in a women who lives in a trailer far away from campus. Dean Munsch knew about the bathtub baby because she knew about bathtub baby’s dead mom, whom she ordered the girls to bury and then banned them from school way back in ’95. One of the girls changed her name, one of them was institutionalized, one committed suicide, and one is now a Fox News anchor. Also, the bathtub baby was a girl.
The woman who tells them all this info is later visited by the Red Devil, who menaces her through the windows of her trailer.
I begrudgingly cackle laughed at this line: “Cause of death: stabbed a whole lot all over.”
And this one: “You may think I’m a monster tonight, but years from now, when you’ve lived a boring, painfully uncreative life in a home filled with Pottery Barn sofas and no integrity, you’re gonna remember me as I truly am: your guardian angel.”
Hashtag Sue Sylvester.
Empire
Wednesdays on Fox at 9:00 p.m.
Written by Carolyn Wysinger
To say that Empire got its groove back this week would be a huge understatement! As predicted, last week’s snoozer was all about setting the wheels in motion for several juicy storylines. This week started with Lucious getting out of jail as the district attorney, more determined than ever, gives a press conference vowing to get justice and put him back behind bars. Meanwhile, Lucious, who has been barred from entering Empire as a term of his release, declares that he himself is God and holds his own press conference to reassure his fans that he is back and Empire is going to be stronger than ever.
Hakeem has an appearance on Sway in the Morning where Sway calls out Lyon Dynasty for being a rag tag bunch of former Empire artists. Hakeem brags that they also have his new girl group called Marage Trois and he promises to bring the girls to the show. Lucious also calls in and throws some shade at Hakeem about how stupid he was for leaking his own album. Hakeem fires back by telling Sway that his dad could have stopped him, but he was, you know, in jail. DAMN!
We finally got our first full look at the new butch heartthrob Freda Gatz, daughter of the dearly departed Frank Gatz a.k.a Chris “CB4″ Rock. We find her out in the streets in a freestyle battle with some guys where she more than holds her own. When one of them spits a bar making a joke about her father’s murder, Freda loses it and almost shoots the guy. Lucious shows up to convince her not to throw her life away and instead use it in her music so he can make her a star. I have a huge question about this relationship because Lucious continues to be extremely homophobic, even while pushing Jamal to run the company. Through a fit of jealousy from Jamal, we learn that Lucious is also totally convinced that Freda is the future of Empire. Freda is very openly butch so could we possibly see a storyline where he tries to make her more femme presenting. It would certainly mirror what the industry has done to “masculine” women rappers for decades.
Lucious “invites” the whole family to dinner — which in Lucious-speak means “demands” — to tell them to shut down Lyon Dynasty and return to Empire. Quite predictably both Cookie and Hakeem refuse. Andre wants to, but Lucious want nothing to do with him. Cookie later encourages him to tell Lucious about his new baby and use that to get back in his good graces. When he does, proud future grandpa Lucious sniffs out his real intentions and still sends him packing.
Boo Boo Kitty and Lucious have a secret meeting where he asks her to be his mole at Lyon Dynasty. She turns around offers her services to Cookie instead by telling her that Lucious is trying to steal al of the Lyon Dynasty music and about the welcome home party that Lucious is throwing for himself. The night of the party, hottie AzMarie boots the DJ out of his own booth and Lyon Dynasty crashes the party with a hot new joint from Hakeem featuring series music producer Timbaland.
All of this leads up to the premier of Hakeem’s Latina music group he announced on Sway in the Morning. Before the girls can perform, Lucious comes in to inform Cookie and Hakeem that he has bought every urban market radio station in the nation, effectively killing any chance that music from Lyon Dynasty will get radio play. Not only that, but he pulled a Beyoncé and stole the lead singer (that Jamal had been sleeping with) from the group. Checkmate, Lucious. But of course you know Cookie will have a move to counter next week. You can count on that.
American Horror Story: Hotel
Wednesdays on FX at 10:00 p.m.
Written by Tina Horn
Not here yet, but soon!
I’ve watched every episode of all four seasons of American Horror Story in bed, alone, hunched over my greasy laptop, which certainly facilitates all the feelings of dread the show can inspire. For Hotel, I was determined to watch perched on a bar stool in my local gay bar, Branded Saloon, where I could clutch a pint glass and the nearest gay boy anytime anything batshit crazy happened. My effort was rewarded from the first shoot of two skinny Sweds checking into the Hotel Cortez, when every single one of us shrieked, “You are SO DEAD,” and especially when Wes Bentley yanked aside a shower curtain and someone wailed, “Oh god it’s terrible, those tiles don’t match the rest of the décor at all!”
The new repertory incarnation of AHS is present-day Los Angeles, set mostly in the disorienting claustrophobia of the lavish titular establishment. Everybody and everything looks fucking great. In a nice inversion of ordinary casting, the men are all clones and the women are wonderfully varied. Hmm, I wonder if tall, toned, dark-haired men are Ryan Murphy’s type?
Lady Gaga and Matt Bomer polish their boots and tighten their corsets to go cruising at the Hollywood Forever cemetery during a screening of Nosfaratu, taking home a nice clean-cut looking couple for a foursome that ends with a hell of a mess for housekeeping. Let’s just say those leather gloves with the metal tips aren’t only for kinky sensory play. From Only Lovers Left Alive to True Blood, we’ve seen plenty of vampire hipster junkie sluts in the past decade. My money says this is more like The World on Blood or Elizabeth Báthory-style: the artery slashing is for the purpose of decadent highs and eternal beauty rather than demonic sustenance. Regardless, you may think twice before you swing again.
Speaking of decadent highs, the kinderwhore junkie look is working way better for Sarah Paulson than the Emmy-plea role of conjoined twins last season. Paulson is a terrific actress who, like La Lange before her, somehow makes scenery chewing seem subtle. In billowing robes and Cleopatra eyes, Dennis O’Hare is divine as Liz Taylor, the front desk clerk who also seems to be trapped in the ’90s (come to think of it, this is also Gigi’s deal on Scream Queens). It’s unclear whether Liz is a trans lady or a good ole fashioned drag queen*, but it certainly seems she has all the time in the world to read Joyce.*
Yes, there is a drill-bit strap-on demon rape of that guy from New Girl. Apparently it’s a metaphor for the way addiction takes hold of you and uses you, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was more of a metaphor for American Horror Story metaphors themselves: every time we watch we’re being fucked by a drill-bit dildo and the more we scream the more he likes it.
I think the thing I liked the most about this premier is that it was full of genuine mystery. Why does the Countess kidnap children and keep them in a secret room playing Tetris and gobbling candy? What is the connection between the seven deadly oh sorry I mean ten commandments serial killer and the Cortez? Are the denizens of the hotel ghosts, or trapped in a time warp? How long will it be before Urban Outfitters is selling neon signs that say, “Pain don’t hurt”? When is Angela Basset gonna show up? Will any of this be explained to my satisfaction by season’s end? I can’t say, but I’ll see you at the gay bar next week!
*As always with trans characters or characters coded as trans, we like to hear what our trans editor Mey Rude thinks about it. This is a conversation she and our TV intern Sadie Edwards, also a trans woman, had in Slack:
Sadie: I just watched AHS: Hotel and this season Dennis O’Hare is playing someone who appears to come across as a trans person… or possibly a drag queen? Why is Ryan Murphy allowed to make television?
Mey: Yeah, I think he’s supposed to be a drag queen? But it definitely reminded me of the same actor’s character from Coven, when he would dance around in a nightgown with those dolls. Both characters definitely are supposed to evoke the “creepy crossdresser” trope.
Sadie: Like, I certainly didn’t hate the character and I think it could be interesting. That connotation just gets to me. Ryan Murphy just can’t help himself.
Mey: Yeah, Lady Gaga was the only part I liked. I think I could like Liz Taylor, because campy horror is my favorite and it doesn’t get more campy horror than a creepy old queen named Liz Taylor. Honestly, I’m just waiting for Lily Rabe to show up.
Rosewood
Wednesdays on Fox at 10:00 p.m.
Pippy and TMI spend another week shackled to their work stations in the lab, while Rosewood sleuths around and starts grating on me with his Sherlock-style mansplaining about everything his eyeballs see. It’s a thing that kind of bugged me in the pilot episode and also last week, but I thought the writers would tone it down once they saw how it was playing on-screen, and honestly, I’m willing to stick with it when it’s Not Another White Guy on broadcast TV.
One of the things that makes procedurals like this work is that both major players — Castle and Beckett, Booth and Brennan, Rizzoli and Isles — bring something to the table, and the bossy know-it-all character has a relatable flaw or is motivated by a relatable thing. An insecurity, a social ineptness, etc. Rosewood’s motivation seems to be that he wants to be right as much as possible before he dies. Pippy actually finally says out loud this week that Rosewood is really, truly dying. She’s noticed it in his lab results and in his habits. And yeah, he is. He knows that. But whatever! He’s still the smartest guy in Miami!
This could be a good show, and it’s going to get a chance to prove that because the Empire lead-in is boosting its ratings beyond belief. I wouldn’t be watching if it weren’t for Pippy and TMI. I hope they get free from the lab sometime. I hope they get to do more than stand around saying medical words.
Grey’s Anatomy
Thursdays on ABC at 8:00 p.m.
Written by Aja
And now for a dramatic reading of my favorite Spara fan fiction.
The theme of this week’s episode is Sister Lady Chiefs and I’m into it. Nothing gay happened but Callie was heavily involved in an important plot point about Meredith’s contract, specifically her salary, and Bailey declared herself a feminist in no uncertain terms. I think that’s important enough to cover, don’t you?
The whole thing starting during carpool, when Maggie jumped into Grey’s car saying her contract for the Chief of General Surgery had come in the mail. They opened it and both had a look at it (meanwhile, Amelia’s jumped into the car wearing nothing but a robe with a change of clothes in hand; we discover she doesn’t wear panties because she’s all about venting the vadge), and Maggie makes a face that Grey immediately questions. Maggie clams up so once they get to the hospital, Grey asks Callie’s advice, showing her the contract. Callie makes the face and flat-out tells Grey that she makes way more money than Grey’s being offered for the position, but won’t give her an exact number. Webber overhears the whole exchange and furrows his ex-chief dad eyebrows. Later, when they’re all back at the Grey abode drinking their feels and pretending to eat quinoa and kale salads, Grey, Maggie, Callie and Amelia are all brainstorming courses of action for Grey and/or sipping wine from the bottle or Zola’s sippie cups, but Maggie (adorably) sullies the Lean In feminist magic in the room by straight up losing her mind over her ex’s upcoming wedding. Boop.
Elsewhere, Karev is balancing jaundiced twins with liver failure and only one viable donor with his snooping, harpy girlfriend, who discovered a fertility document showing that Karev fertilized some of Izzy’s eggs when they were married. Jo decides this document is the horcrux with which she will at last get Alex to commit to her, or define what’s going on between them, or like, I don’t know, get married? It totally works because by the end of the episode, Alex is trying to stick a baby in her and she’s like, “Teehee, don’t be silly, we can’t have a baby!” He’s able to save just one of the twins after Arizona gives him the ultimate in mentor pep talks, but I think we’re seeing him understand the person he’s become through the new “I don’t hate kids” intern, Andrew (who’s like the old Alex in many ways), how Arizona views him, who he feels like now and where kids — and Jo — fit in with this more mature, secure Alex.
Jackson’s attempts to leave April continue to be highly amusing and sometimes heartbreaking. He’s trying to be civil and makes the rookiest rookie mistake; he wants April to find her own place since his name is on the lease and he moved in, but dude, if the other party is being difficult and what you want is real separation, you’ve got to cut your losses. He doesn’t understand why April can’t comprehend plain English like “I will book you a hotel room” or boundaries like “I’m changing the locks,” but April’s read way too many trite needlepoint messages about marriage and/or one too many Nicholas Sparks novels, and could benefit from some alone time with a set of magnets. Ultimately, April comes home to find the locks unchanged but all of Avery’s things are gone. He’s crashing at a B&B and by that I mean Bailey and Ben’s place, which Bailey’s not super stoked on, by the way.
Circling back to Grey, Richard decides to confront Bailey on Meredith’s salary, accusing her of doing Mere dirty and lowballing her but Bailey counters, arguing that Richard coddles her, that she’s mentored and taught Grey more than well enough to know she ought to demand what she’s worth, and concludes the whole discussion with a firm, “This is what a feminist looks like, sir.” Meredith was clearly prepared to accept the initial offer in good faith, so it’s a damn good thing she got feedback from her peers before signing on the dotted line. When Grey finally marches into Bailey’s office, Bailey asks her what number she has in mind, Mere writes one down (a BIG one, judging from both their reactions), and Bailey calmly says she can make it happen. It was both sweet and satisfying to watch Meredith practically skip out of that room, contract in hand, and praise on Bailey’s lips. Hooray for the Sister
How to Get Away With Murder
Thursdays on ABC at 10:00 p.m.
Paris Gellar did not kill Izzie Stevens because she married Rory Gilmore! Case closed!
No homosexuality to report on this week’s How to Get Away With Murder, unless you count The Fosters‘ lesbian mama Sherri Saum playing the owner of a sex club where her boyfriend was murdered. This whole episode is just sex, sex, sex, which makes it even sadder that Eve is stuck in New York, lawyering away, and not lounging around gaily in Annalise’s bed. Instead, Wes almost gets into her bed. And also Nate. But no! She has a case to work, and it’s about how Sherri Saum caused her boyfriend to have a heart attack! She didn’t want to kill him; she just wanted his wife to find out he was having an affair so she would leave him and they could be together. Annalise calls her a “negligent slut” but then gets this guy’s wife on the stand and coerces her into confessing that she drugged her husband because she found out he was taking Viagra and she knew that meant he was having an affair.
How does Annalise sleep at night, the wife wants to know. “Alone, and on very expensive sheets” is the answer. Also: Vodka. She tells Sherri Saum to send her a bottle as thanks.
She’s still dying, by the way, in the flash forwards. And somehow now Nate is involved.
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