Boobs on Your Tube: “grown-ish” Returns With Another Queer Pregnancy Storyline No One Asked For

Happy Friday and if you’re in the United States, happy beginning of a long weekend! We hope you’re able to enjoy it! Here’s what happened on TV this week:

TIIIINA!!! Ok, you’d think we’d be tired of making the L Word joke by now, but the unexpected return of Laurel Holloman to The L Word: Generation Q really shook us all the way down to to our Doc Marten boots. Riese covered the full rollercoaster of emotions, and then Drew and Annalyssa covered you even more during the podcast (speaking of Gen Q, you heard they got picked up for a Season Two by now, right? Along with the really great and queer Work in Progress? If you missed it, Carmen has the details). Speaking of addictive drama that you can’t get enough of – that new Netflix reality TV show The Circle sure was the bisexual chaos you’ve been waiting for. Over in the Arrow-verse, there many crises happening on many earths (an infinite number, you could say) but we hear all the gays made it through safely in the end and Valerie Anne can tell you more. Last thing! Good Trouble is back and Alice’s ex has a crush on her mentor, who stole the ex of her current partner? Lesbians! We are who we are.

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ Remember Project Blue Book? No? Well Ksenia Solo kisses a girl and I guess she’s been brushin’ up to do it again. I will fast forward through boring men for you once again, my friends, don’t you worry. — Valerie Anne

grown-ish 301: “Crunch Time”

Written by Natalie

Fresh off a summer abroad, Zoey Johnson steps off the plane and back into her life at Cal U. She’s greeted at her inexplicably lavish off-campus home by her new roommates — Sky, Jazz, Ana and, much to my surprise, Vivek — and the bootleg BeyChella happening in their backyard. After dispatching her latest bit of boy drama, Zoey and her crew enjoy the party and swag surf into their junior year. But then comes the world’s loudest record scratch… as a late arriving Nomi passes through the gates, wearing a hideous shirt that barely covers her protruding belly.

Congratulations, Nomi, it’s a girl pregnancy storyline that makes absolutely no damn sense.

Previews for this season of grown-ish had teased that one of the girls would turn up pregnant so that, in itself, wasn’t a surprise. That it would be Nomi, who last we saw was grappling with the fallout from sleeping with Professor Hewson Shane, was a surprise. But the fact that Nomi is visibly pregnant — she honestly looks like she might pop tomorrow — isn’t just a surprise, it’s virtually impossible.

Let’s be generous and say Nomi’s six months pregnant. Unless Cal U has the longest summer breaks in the history of college, Nomi would’ve gotten pregnant sometime between her bedding a parade of women and having an affair with her professor. At no point during any of that, did we see Nomi sleep with someone who could get her pregnant.

But okay, let’s allow for the possibility that grown-ish missed the boat by failing to show Nomi sleeping with guys or cheating on Shane and got pregnant (yay for bi invisibility!): are we to believe that Nomi didn’t know she was pregnant, even though it appears she would’ve been, at least, three months pregnant when the semester ended? Or are we supposed to believe that Nomi Fuckin’ Segal, who spent two seasons worried about not living up to parents’ expectations, found out she was pregnant and wouldn’t exercise her right to choose?

DEAR. LORD. MAKE. IT. MAKE. SENSE.

Almost Family 111: “Generational AF”

Written by Valerie Anne

New idea: let’s cast Victoria Cartagena in a show where she plays a lesbian but this time she’s the lead so they can’t keep doing her dirty like this.

This week on Almost Family, Edie moved out of Amanda’s apartment to give them a little space to figure themselves out, and because living together while on opposite sides of the same legal case. All very reasonable. But then over the course of the episode, Amanda I guess got spooked? I don’t really understand the trajectory because Tim was being kind of a jerk, and then Edie was being weird about him dating, and next thing you know they’re having sex while Amanda calls her to beg her to come home. IT HURT MY FEELINGS. And was extremely frustrating because of how much they’ve been throwing “lesbian” around to describe Edie, and kind of made it seem like she was never really physically attracted to her husband the way she was Amanda. But now who knows what’s going on with Edie! I know Almost Family was all but cancelled, so it’s likely not long for this word, but if Edie doesn’t learn the word “bisexual” before this series is through, I am going to be FURIOUS. Also someone give Amanda a hug, ffs!

Legacies 209: “I Couldn’t Have Done This Without You”

Written by Valerie Anne

All they need is a Miss Kitty Fantastico and we’re good! to! go!

Y’ALL. ARE THEY GONNA?? This episode had a very sweet and mature conversation between Josie and Hope about how Hope thinks Josie is more powerful than she knows, about dark magic and jealousy, and about how they wanted to move forward, toward each other, because they don’t like not being in each other’s lives. The episode ended with Josie and Landon working together to make Hope’s room feel like home again now that she’s back for good and then Hope hugged them both at the same time with this warm smile we rarely see on our tortured lil tribrid, and maybe it’s because I’ve been watching GenQ but maybe it’s because I believe in the “when in doubt, throuple it out” methodology but if any CW show was going to try to explore teens in a healthy(ish) throuple situation (not unlike Siren’s throuple on Freeform!) it would be the one with the queer magical boarding school. I find Lizzie’s description of Landon as a sentient jar of artisanal mayonnaise to be most accurate, but if we have to keep him around, why not also get a little #Hosie action too? When they did magic together in this episode, it was VERY reminiscent of Willow and Tara and I have a feeling that wasn’t an accident, is all I’m saying.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Stumptown” Puts Dex on Stronger Bisexual Footing in the New Year!

Hello and welcome back to Boobs on Your Tube! We missed you! While on holigay break, the Autostraddle TV Team stayed busy keeping you up to date. If you’d like to catch up, we have you covered. Meanwhile, this is what happened this week:

First, Riese recapped the latest episode of The L Word: Generation Q in her supreme, trademarked, super detailed and incredibly snarky form! Her recaps are truly the TV event of every week and you don’t want to miss them! Speaking of one-of-a-kind television events and Generation Q, Drew and Annalyssa are back with another episode of To L and Back, so you can get your recap fix in a podcast – whatever your needs, we are here to provide.  Kate McKinnon introduced Ellen Degeneres for her Golden Globe Lifetime Achievement Award and we cried buckets, but Heather’s here to remind us that we still have a long way to go. Maddy wrote an intensely personal essay about Catfish of all things. Carmen considered the role of nostalgia television from the Bush era that just might help us survive Trump. Valerie was disappointed to find out that the new lesbian storyline in Season Two of “Light as a Feather” was really stiff as a board. Heather got us the trailer for Cate Blanchett (!!) and Sarah Paulson’s (!!!) new limited series, Mrs. America about the right wing takedown of the feminist movement in the 1970s. Here was Carmen’s review: “I am not prepared for a world where I am physically attracted to Phyllis Schlafly.” So say we all.

BREAKING NEWS: The Autostraddle TV Team’s “Winter 2020 TV Preview: Where To Find All The LGBTQ Women and Trans People on Your Television” is OFFICIALLY HERE. Be sure to get in on that!

Here’s what else!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ This is technically not a part of our coverage, but I thought you’d want to know the sad news that Dr. Alex Karev is leaving Grey’s Anatomy after 16 seasons!  Apparently there might be some drama behind it.  — Carmen

+ Also I owe you an update on God Friended Me. I apologize because this week got away from me, but you’ll have it next week! — Carmen

Stumptown 110: “Reality Checks Don’t Bounce”

Written by Heather

Stumptown continues to surprise me. Well, actually that’s not true. The least surprising thing in the world is that this network TV show has made Dex’s life revolve around the men in it, and that she hardly ever interacts with other women in any signifiant way that lasts more than one episode. What surprises me is, despite that, I keep showing up for it! I love Dex and Cobie Smulders’ portrayal of her — including her nonchalant bisexuality — is pitch-perfect. Anyway, before the holiday break, Sue Lynn told Dex to get her shit together and it looks like she’s really going to do it, including putting a stop to the love triangle that has already grown tedious over ten episodes. Now that Ansel has moved out, and Grey and Hoffman are forming a tentative alliance, as opposed to doing turf wars over Dex, it seems like she’s going to get some storylines of her own!

One of the most interesting things to me about this week’s episode is how patient it was, in terms of character development, and it paid off with some legit emotional resonance. The camera lingeres on Dex’s face. The case of the week — a kidnapping and a squabble between brothers — reflects and helps her resolve her family struggles (it’s all very Grey’s Anatomy actually). She’s town, as usual, between doing what’s right and getting paid. And maybe she’s even going to seek treatment for her PTSD. It’s a good set up for the back half of the season; hopefully Grey and Hoffman will fall in love with each other and leave her alone.

Deputy 101-102: “Graduation Day” and “10-8 Outlaws”

Written by Natalie

They’re just so cute together!

There’s a moment, about midway through Deputy‘s first episode, where the newly appointed Sheriff of LA County, Bill Hollister, interrupts a previously scheduled joint operation with ICE and orders all his deputies to go home. He wants people to know, “regardless of how they got here,” to know that they can come to the Sheriff’s Office for help. To do anything else, he says, is like “gift-wrapping about a million victims for every bad guy in town to prey on with total impunity.”

It’s a progressive vision of policing — one that threatens to cost the county millions in federal grants — that I’d usually rush to celebrate. But my enthusiasm is tempered by knowing that, but for an ill-timed heart attack, the ICE-defying sheriff would have been one of the deputies pulled from the field for having too many instances of brutality in his file. This is the guy we’re supposed to cheer for; this is our hero?

Through the first two episodes of Deputy that kind of juxtaposition has become the show’s hallmark…at once, attempting to be a new kind of police procedural while also embracing the (worst) hallmarks of past procedurals. Even the show’s diversity feels both refreshing and regressive. In the past, Bex Taylor-Kaus’ Brianna Bishop would be a male character…in fact, on the shortlived and underappreciated Chicago Code (which starred Jennifer Beals as the newly appointed police superintendent), the ambitious, astute, talented driver/security guard was a male character. Instead, Deputy gives that role to nonbinary actor and the character comes out in the show’s first episode. Refreshing, right? But Bishop comes out by way of a U-Haul joke…a U-Haul joke she has to explain to her clueless boss who, apparently, has never known a lesbian before now. How is this a conversation we’ve having in 2020?

I hope that Deputy finds a way to reconcile its identity soon because Kaus is so endearing in their role. Plus? Last night’s episode introduced her girlfriend, Genevieve, played by Claws‘ Karrueche Tran…and Karrueche playing queer is everything I never knew I always wanted.

Almost Family 110: “Couragous AF”

Written by Valerie Anne!

Good outfits and bad ideas.

I want to start out by saying I’m really enjoying Almost Family. And it’s because I’ve been having such a great time that I want to talk about a huge issue it’s having. I want to call them out but with love. Calling in, if you will.

In the past few episodes, Amanda and Edie have super cute. Edie broke it off with her husband to commit to Edie, Edie introduced Amanda to her son’s other mother, etc. Things were moving along nicely. Until this week. It started with a flirty bartender. Amanda sees Edie with the bartender and says she should date other girls, since Amanda was the first girl she’d ever been with. Which is flawed logic, but we learn that Amanda’s ex got in her head about it, and also Amanda felt insecure because THEIR relationship started because Edie got curious. So I’ll forgive her.

What I cannot forgive, is the lesbian kickball team Edie meets on this strange quest. Things were off to a good start because the team is called the Dixie Kicks, but it was all downhill from there. Full of lesbians that apparently time traveled here from 2005, they complain about “heteroflexible” girls and “goldfish” – a term I think the writers made up that means a straight girl “fishing” for “gold star lesbians,” an outdated/biphobic/judgemental term in itself. So they’re using outdated, biphobic, and made up language, all at the same time; naturally Edie is confused. She tries to make out with the bartender, but her heart’s not in it; she just wants Amanda. I knew I was gay before I ever kissed ANYONE of any gender, so all of this seems misguided at best. If Edie realizes she’s a lesbian, that’s totally valid. Plenty of lesbians I know were in long-term relationships with men before they realized they were gay. But the fact that no one has even said the word bisexual yet is driving me absolutely batty.

I hope the show gets its act together on this front soon, or, at the VERY least, just stops talking about Edie’s sexuality at all and focuses instead on Edie and Amanda’s relationship. LET ME LOVE YOU, ALMOST FAMILY.

Boobs on Your Tube: It’s Unofficial Date Night on “How to Get Away with Murder”

This week, Supergirl was full of wall-to-wall feelings and Valerie Anne was there to capture every one of them for you in a drinking glass. Kayla came to a pretty sad (and true to life) realization about the emotional labor that’s underpinning Cheryl and Toni’s relationship on Riverdale.

Then came all things The L Word!! Riese and Carly dropped the newest episode of To L and Back and Riese broke down the newest The L Word: Generation Q trailer, in which Alice Pieszecki preps for seven minutes of sex.

Speaking of The L Word: Generation Q, wait until you get a hold of this: There’s going to be a live tapping of To L and Back AND IT’S GOING TO HAVE THE “NEW GENERATION” CAST OF GEN Q!! AND IF YOU’LL BE IN LOS ANGELES ON DECEMBER 4TH, YOU ARE WELCOME TO COME FOR FREE!! That’s right! Unfortunately general admission is already sold out, but are you an A+ Member? First of all, thank you for supporting this website and queer indie media! Second of all, we have a special block of tickets reserved just for you! 

It’s amazing. RSVP Here.

If you live in Los Angeles, and aren’t an A+ Member, well now is an excellent time to join! We have a lot of exciting perks coming, including this taping which you can still attend! Become a member, we need you, thanks.

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ After how last week’s S.W.A.T. ended, what happened this week seemed inevitable: Chris breaks up with Ty and Kira, moving out of their shared apartment while they’re at work. And because this show clearly doesn’t have any queer people in the writers’ room, Chris ends up nursing her broken heart at the home of the person who called her relationship immoral. Yay! — Natalie

+ Last night on Grey’s Anatomy, Dr. Carina DeLuca made an appearance to help Dr. Bailey with her miscarriage. In other lesbian news, Intern Resident Hellmouth got caught in Joe’s Bar as an entire car drove through the window! Now she may die (ironic, another potentially dead lesbian on television) but we won’t find out until January. — Carmen

+ We don’t have anyone who covers Mr. Robot on our team, but you should know that Young M.A has been making guest appearances during the show’s final season, which is airing right now! In case that’s your thing. — Carmen

This is Carmen: I’ve been going through a pretty intense Young M.A crush recently. You’ve been warned.

+ We know you’re looking for updates on Batwoman and Stumptown and we promise, they are coming! Be on the lookout!

All American 206: “Hard Knock Life”

Written by Natalie

Look, Patience, they remembered to give me a storyline this week.

Coop stops by Spencer’s house to ask her best friend for a favor: She wants to connect with Layla’s father, JP, to boost the production values on her new track. He’s hardpressed to believe that JP would be receptive to his calls as the last time they crossed paths, Spencer was trying to get JP’s daughter committed to a mental health facility. It’s a fair point, I suppose, if you ignore the fact that at the time JP was also trying to get JP’s daughter committed to a mental health facility, but, you know, facts schmacts. Spencer encourages Coop to reach out to Layla directly because despite their break-up, the relationship between the two girls is still cool. Spencer chastises Coop for not believing in herself and reminds her that “closed mouths don’t get fed.”

Coop takes Spencer’s advice and the next time we see her, she and Patience are playing Coop’s song for Layla at her home studio. Layla loves the song but thinks it could be even better if they switched up the hook. Layla digs into one of her mother’s boxes and pulls out some lyrics that could serve as an alternate hook. Patience — who, you’ll recall, we first met as a part of the church choir — riffs on the lyrics and Layla offers to help Coop re-record the demo.

Turns out, Layla’s got good instincts when it comes to music: Her father loves the new version of Coop’s song. But the thing he really loves about the song? Patience’s singing. He’s already got a lot of rappers like Coop on his label but Patience represents something new. When Coops comes over to discuss their song, he asks if they’re a duo and Coop, dejected but proud, answers that she’s strictly a solo artist. JP wishes Coop luck with her music but invites Patience to reach out to him if she’s interested in pursuing something. However, when Coop meets up with Patience later, she omits JP’s interest in Patience from her story about the meeting.

Oh, Coop… this is going to end badly.

How to Get Away With Murder 609: “Are You the Mole?”

Written by Natalie

After imparting some final wisdom to her soon-to-be graduates, Annalise heads back to her apartment to get ready for the Dean’s graduation party. Frank asks if she’s taking the new guy but she’s not: She’s taking Tegan! It’s a date! Tegan and Annalise are on a date! Sure, neither of them call it that and sure, after a joke about them being married (!!) and considering buying a camper, Annalise introduces Tegan as her boss, but still, it’s a date. The rest of this episode is hella bleak, let me have this bit of joy.

Their good times are interrupted by breaking news: The FBI is investigating Annalise for her role in Sam Keating’s death. Tegan quickly morphs into defense attorney mode, blaming the reports on leaked gossip from the Governor and Xavier Castillo. She suspects that the FBI’s informant is a rouse because otherwise Annalise would’ve been arrested by now and she promises to be there when/if they do. Unbeknownst to her, Annalise has stopped to look at the charred remains of her old house.

“I should’ve left a long time ago,” Annalise muses before walking off. Tegan scurries behind wondering if she’s planning on leaving now.

Soon after Annalise returns home, Nate stops by, both to prove that he’s not the FBI informant — he hands over DA Denver’s old files as proof — and to castigate Annalise for every bad thing that’s happened to him, including his father’s death. Annalise, rightly, throws the blame right back in his face, noting that she’s the only one that doesn’t have blood on her hands. Things grow tense between them and, for a second, it looks like a physical fight might break out. Instead, Nate disarms Annalise, looks at her with disgust and prays he gets to witness her downfall.

Meanwhile the Keating 4 — Asher, Michaela, Connor and Oliver — are getting high on ‘shrooms, celebrating their impending graduation, and freaking out over the news reports and their likely arrests. They get a Facetime call from Laurel (!!), assuring them that she’s not the mole. She’s not in witness protection with the FBI, she escaped her brother’s reach with Tegan’s help. Michaela tries to reach Tegan but to no avail and the Keating 4 play a guessing game about who the FBI informant is. Is it Laurel? Is it Tegan? Is it Annalise? Is it Gabriel? Then, in a moment of absolute clarity during her psychedelic high, Michaela realizes who the mole is: It’s Asher (which, coincidentally, is a thing I predicted, in this very spot, two years ago). When Asher tries to defend his actions, Oliver wallops him with a fire poker.

When Asher regains consciousness, he tries to defend his actions and, predictably, blames everything on Annalise. His father’s suicide. His murder of Emily Sinclair. Everything is Annalise’s fault. In perhaps my favorite line ever uttered on this show, Michaela spits back: “You sound like every other horrible straight white man in this country.”

While Michaela and Connor try to resign themselves to their fate — that is, a deal with the FBI — Asher escapes out the back and heads straight to Bonnie’s house, where she promptly calls Frank. Why of all places, would Asher go to Bonnie’s? She’s killed two people, Frank has killed God knows how many… and they both are doggedly loyal to Annalise… Why would you go there? When Asher ends up dead at the season’s end, I can’t say I’m surprised. Sorry Judas, you had it coming.

Later, Annalise is getting out of town. She makes one last call to her Mama before she starts the process of erasing her identity. En route to her escape, she takes a brief detour before taking a puddle-jumper out of town. But even though we see Annalise escape, there’s still a future funeral, including a “special speaker” who knew Annalise well: Wes Gibbins.

Almost Family 105: “Risky AF”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, Edie finds herself at a crossroads because she’s enjoying spending time with Amanda more and more, while Tim is asking her if she’s ready to have kids. She tells Amanda that it’s something she’s struggling with, and Amanda reminds Edie that her choice here isn’t about whether or not she wants to be married with children or not. Because two women can have all that, too. Her choice is between Amanda and Tim.

This becomes especially true when Edie makes friends with a kid studying for mock trial, only to learn he’s actually Amanda’s son. Edie realizes Amanda has an ex-wife and a son, and after spending the evening with the two of them, she realizes that maybe it’s not whether or not she wants kids that’s giving her hesitation with her husband.

They do so much gay hand touching I LOVE IT

When Tim calls and interrupts their night, Edie realizes she’s getting closer to the moment she’s going to have to make her choice. She stops by Amanda’s later to give her son a toy owl to congratulate him on a trial well mocked, and confesses that she thinks she’s falling in love. Edie proves that you don’t have to know what to label yourself to say gay the gayest shit, because she tells Amanda that she REARRANGED HER MOLECULES. She says she thinks they’re past the point of no return, and Amanda agrees as she goes in for the kiss.

Legacies 206: “That’s Nothing I Had To Remember”

Written by Valerie Anne

The day has finally arrived. A moment a lot of people have been waiting for a year, something I only even knew to wait for since I binged The Vampire Diaries/The Originals this summer, but something we all desperately needed: Aunt Freya is back.

Freya walked so Josie and Hope could run.

The episode opens with Josie, who somehow got herself to New Orleans without anyone knowing, at Rousseau’s seeking out Freya’s help. My heart did a somersault when I saw her face again, and hearing her refer to her wife and her son gave me new life. (Side note: Keelin and Freya named their son Nik. A detail they didn’t dwell on that absolutely obliterated my heart.) It struck me as a beautiful and unique kind of moment to have Josie, a young queer witch, seeking out advice from her queer witchy elder.

Though Josie DID throw her across the room with magic. But we’ll forgive her, she was feeling a little angsty.

While Josie was off galavanting in the Big Easy, Lizzie and Hope were being unlikely chums, fighting the Croatoan that Malavore set loose on the Salvatore School to eat anyone with something to hide. To try to stave it off, Hope decides to start spilling secrets, one of which is that she had a crush on Josie when they were 14. Lizzie says that Josie and Hope will never happen, and Hope has a pattern of doing the opposite of what people tell her to, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for my #Hosie.

The episode ends with Josie restoring everyone’s memories of Hope, so of course the first thing Aunt Freya does is make her way to Mystic Falls. Hope is sitting alone fighting off tears when she hears Freya say her name in that familiar way. Hope melts into her aunt’s arms, being held in a way she’s needed to be held for a good, long time.

Black Lightning 306: “The Book of Resistance: Chapter One”

Written by Carmen

Sweet, sweet superhero kisses.

All the times I’ve rejoiced about having a bullet-proof black lesbian on television, and it never quite occurred that there were other ways she could get hurt. Case in point, last episode Anissa was shot with one of Painkiller’s arrows, and now she has a deathly venom coursing through her veins. I cannot wait for the Pierces to find out what Jennifer’s supposedly dead ex-boyfriend has been up to, and it’s coming soon, but for now there are more immediate concerns — namely, Anissa only has a few days to live.

Of course of course Anissa turns out to be the exact kind of gay who’s all “I’m fine, I’m fine” when everything is patently NOT FINE because she doesn’t want to burden those around her. There’s at least three of those gays in every friend group, and if you don’t know her, it probably is because you are her. Anyway! Grace finds Anissa passed out on the floor of their apartment and calls Uncle Gambi in a panic. That’s the true story of how she finds out that her girlfriend is hopped up full of poisonous venom.

Gambi tends to Anissa before leaving her in Grace’s care, so that he can track down this Khalil mystery. Once they’re alone, Grace scolds Anissa. They can’t build a life together if she’s going to keep secrets or treat Grace like fragile glass, always about to break! Anissa does that charming Thunder thing she does and when Grace jokes about forever, Anissa smiles and says “I do!” and I simply cannot help it — my shipper heart fluttered like crazy. These two!

However, Anissa technically only has 24 hours left to live, and she still hasn’t told the rest of her family, so Gambi better get right on it!

In other lesbian news, Anissa’s former hook up, journalist Jamilah Olsen, has joined as the voice of The Freeland Resistance, which I’m incredibly excited about! That means there are three queer women of color at least making a semi-regular appearance on Black Lightning. Despite any other shortcomings the show throws our way, that is no small deal!

This Is Us 409: “So Long, Marianne”

Written by Carmen

#ThatGreenDress

Yes, that’s a photo of Zendaya from this year’s Emmys up above, and not an actual photo from this week’s This Is Us, but bear with me:

1. My computer had a fit at the last minute, so I couldn’t grab a proper screenshot from this week’s episode.

2. Zendaya, and that dress, end up being very important to the story at hand.

It’s Thanksgiving once again in the Pearson household, which marks exactly one year since Tess Pearson first quietly came out to her Aunt Kate. A lot has changed since then; Tess moved cities and came out to her entire family and she got the dopest of gay haircuts. Still, she hasn’t come out to her classmates — a fact that, just a few episodes ago, caused her a full on panic attack.

The big thing during Thanksgiving break at Tess’ school is this meme going around Instagram, “Who’s Your Celebrity Crush,” and she’s thoroughly freaked out. If she says nothing, then she feels left out, if she picks a male celebrity she’d be lying, and if she joins in by telling the truth then everyone will know. There is no such thing as coming out once. Tess Pearson came out exactly one year ago, and here she is — still coming out. Any of us know that coming out is a lifelong, tiring process. There’s also a specific anxiety about having to come out across social media, and therefore essentially in public, that’s unique to Gen Z. Despite the fact that it’s a big reach that a bunch of Middle Schoolers are on (gasp!) Instagram when they could be Tik Tok’ing the night away, the message still hits home.

Uncle Kevin comes up with the genius solution of taking Tess to a local fast food joint so that she can practice “coming out” to a stranger in the faceless drive thru speaker. It’s touching, a bit silly, and ultimately perfect. Thanks to the confidence of her trial run, Tess takes the leap of posting a photograph of Zendaya in that infamous green dress on her Instagram (hashtag: #ThatGreenDress — my girl has taste!). Everyone at school is super supportive and Tess actually  ends up going viral! Which is way more exciting than having to spend Thanksgiving a bunch of boring adults! Win-Win!



Boobs on Your Tube: “Almost Family” Is Heating Up!

TGIF!! Let’s see what happened this week in Autostraddle TV Coverage! First up (and this is A Very BIG Deal) the TV Team revamped our queerest shows to watch on Netflix list! It’s up to 82 shows now, can believe it? And just in time for all your cozy fall binging needs. Natalie broke down a truly exceptional episode of All American. Alex and Kelly are cute as ever on Supergirl and Valerie has all the details. Molly brought a glorious level of nerd energy to explaining all the gem choices behind Steven Universe in deep dive detail. Toni and Cheryl got to kiss on camera this week on Riverdale and Kayla’s ready to meditate on what the show means for queer loneliness.

Riese and Carly dropped a new episode of To L and Back  and then just to really outdo herself, Riese also made a The L Word/ Succession mashup video that’s going to leave you screaming. Last but not least, Valerie’s really loving Orphan Black: The Next Chapter and having Tatiana Maslany’s voice in her ears!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ Impulse Season 2 dropped this week! I will be reporting back as soon as I finish my binge, but I’m loving what I’ve seen so far. Spoiler alert: it’s gayer than the first season already. — Valerie Anne

+ Oh, Letterkenny released more episodes, too! — Valerie Anne

+ Santo Padre Mayor Antonia Pena returned to Mayans M.C. this week (“Tohil”) to deal with the fallout from a City Hall scandal. Pena suspects that the cartel is behind the suicide of a city clerk and starts to move more cautiously as a result. When she comes home, she kisses her wife, embraces her son and peers outside to see if she was followed. — Natalie

+ In addition to seeing Chris Alonso be the hero again on this week’s episode of S.W.A.T. (“Funny Money”), we also found out that she’s still involved with Kira and Ty. While Chris claims to be content, it doesn’t seem like all is well in throupledom, as she is remiss to make a romantic connection between Street and the boss’ daughter. — Natalie

+ Good news from OWN: Our favorite summer soapy guilty pleasure, Ambitions, returns with new episodes on November 12. — Natalie

+ Maybe you’ve already heard the good news, but word is hot on the Twitter streets that next week Grace Choi will make her long awaited return to Black Lightning! Depending on what happens with that, I’ll either write you a stand alone review or include it in next week’s Boobs on Your Tube! Either way, we have you covered. — Carmen

Nancy Drew 102: “The Secret of the Old Morgue”

Written by Valerie Anne

I knew it wouldn’t be long before we saw the CW-mandated queers on Nancy Drew, but I didn’t know they would reveal themselves THIS soon! And, much to my delight, we already met one of the queer characters, and it’s one of the core four: Bess. Who happens to be played by Maddison Jaizani, the same actress who played Odessa, one of the queer women on Into the Badlands.

We meet the second queer women, and the impetus for us finding out Bess is queer, when Nancy Drew breaks into a morgue and Ace and Bess act as a distraction to keep Lisbeth, the coroner out of the way until Nancy has what she needs. At first Lisbeth is just a go-getter who knows how to fix cards lickety split, but soon she all but pushes Ace aside to have an excuse to put her hand on top of Bess’s.

I solved the mystery of who would be queer on this show!

After this obvious flirtation, Ace, who he had previously not been shy about fawning over, asks Bess what’s up, and she admits she hasn’t really been into dating anyone – boys OR girls – lately. Ace says either way, he will be there for her, even if it’s platonically. It’s actually very sweet.

Later, she almost texts Lisbeth to ask her to hang out, but then she remembers that she’s lying about being a little rich girl and is actually living out of a van, so the text goes unsent. But something tells me, with this rascally bunch, it won’t be long until they have another run-in with the coroner.

PS. The names Bess and Lisbeth are both technically, historically, derived from Elizabeth, which is neither here nor there, but, they were to date, would up the gay factor by at least double.

Almost Family 103: “Notorious AF”

Written by Valerie Anne

(I get it now, the AF episode titles. I thought it was just Roxy-style slang when it was just the second episode but now that it’s all of them… I get it.)

This week on Almost Family, Edie is still trying to resist her feelings for Amanda, though Amanda’s patient smirking is hard to deny. Julia confronts Edie about what she saw last week, and Edie insists that no matter what she’s feeling, being with Amanda would cause too many complications in her marriage and at her job. (Side note: Despite the open conversation about sexuality being a spectrum in the last episode, everyone seems to have forgotten about that this episode, and I guess none of them have heard the term “bisexual” before. I’m hoping that improves as Edie starts to get out of her own head about her feelings.)

At the end of the episode, Edie finds Amanda to break it off, and Amanda seems, as she has all episode, willing to follow Edie’s lead on this… but almost before Edie can finish saying they’re done, Edie is shoving Amanda up against her bedroom wall and they’re tumbling into bed together.

More like UNdone amiright

So I have a feeling Edie is going to have to try something new besides ignoring her feelings in order to sort all this out.

9-1-1 304: “Triggers”

Written by Natalie

Hen’s glasses game remains unmatched.

After dealing with the fallout from a Los Angeles tsunami over the last few episodes, 9-1-1 settles back into regular form this week, starting with a relaxing get together between Athena, Hen and Karen. As they sip coffee, Karen shares her schedule for IVF treatments and egg retrieval and both she and Hen look excited about the prospect of welcoming a new child into their lives. But when Denny interrupts their conversation with a fight with Athena’s son — one that Athena settles immediately with one stern rebuke — Hen starts to wonder how her son will handle becoming a big brother. Athena admits that having more than one child brings its share of headaches but assures Karen and Hen that they’ll adjust….and that Denny will love being a big brother, eventually.

At work, Hen joins calls that both allay and exacerbate her concerns about Denny getting a new sibling. First, there’s a mother and her two sons who need rescuing after the road collapses beneath their SUV. As the vehicle dangles precariously off a cliff, Chimney and Lena (guest star, Ronda Rousey) repel down and find the boys relatively unscathed, but terrified, and the mother unconscious. The elder son, Camden, tells the rescuers to save his brother and mom first, saying his brother is too young not to have a mom. Thankfully, Lena and Chim are able to save them all. Hen rouses the mother from her unconsciousness and explains what happened. She asks about her kids and Hen assures her that they are taking care of each other. Score one for Team Siblings!

But during a later call, Team Only Child strikes back! Two squabbling sisters are arguing over their mother’s estate. At the root of their disagreement: a ring left to the “screw-up” sister, instead of the responsible one. But, over a pitcher of freshly made margaritas, the sisters seemingly come to a truce, as the sister promises never to let anything happen to the prized family heirloom. Later, though, with the “screw-up” sister passed out on a lounger, the responsible one can’t resist trying the ring on…and is forced to call 911 when she can’t get it off. Turns out, she has a margarita burn and it’s caused her hands to swell and blister. The ring’s restricting blood flow in her ring finger and it needs to be cut off before she loses the finger. The screw-up sister refuses consent to destroy her property — she’s already sold the ring — but the Station 118 crew dismiss her concerns and cut the ring off. Once she’s done, Hen splits the ring in two and hands one part to each sister. Sharing is caring, Hen reminds them.

At home, Karen asks Hen if she’s certain about having another baby. Hen confesses that, as a child, she was often lonely and she doesn’t want that future for Denny. Hen promises Karen that she’s ready if her wife is.

Why Women Kill 110: “Kill Me as if It Were the Last Time”

Written by Natalie

Our ex-girlfriend did what?!

Why Women Kill is the story of three women who live in the same house, decades apart. Through nine episodes, those stories have existed wholly independent of each other — aside from the commonality of this house — and each has been entertaining in its own right, but this week, those stories came together like a sweet symphony. As promised, someone had to die but the who and how are a mystery until each of the stories reach their crescendo in unison. It a sight to behold, truly, and made for one of my favorite episodes of television this fall.

But how’d we get there?

After being discharged from the hospital, Eli and Taylor start to plot a new future for themselves. Eli wants to sell the house — a house he convinced Taylor to buy at the start of his addiction — and start over elsewhere and Taylor wants to close their open marriage and shift the focus back to them. In a surprising display of thoughtfulness, Eli resists: he knows how important her sexuality is and doesn’t want her to give up that part of herself. While Taylor acknowledges that her sexuality is important, she reaffirms that her love story is with Eli and she chooses him.

When the couple gets home, Teacup the dog is there and Eli and Taylor know Jade can’t be far away. In fact, she’s in the kitchen, cooking as though nothing ever happened. Eli tries to placate Jade — there’s a knife nearby, after all — but Taylor is completely unafraid and undeterred by Jade’s tears. Taylor calls Jade on her bullshit and tells her to leave but Jade wants $10k first. Taylor refuses and, instead, decides to call the cops. Before Taylor can even make the call, Jade “escapes” out the back door. When the cops arrive, they aren’t there to investigate Jade’s break-in, they’re investigating the murder of Duke Riley.

After hearing the whole story, the cops recommend that Taylor and Eli find somewhere else to stay until Jade is located and they rush to pack a bag and get away. But when Eli goes looking for his laptop, Jade steps out of the closet, kisses him and jabs the knife into his gut. She rushes upstairs to try and do the same with Taylor but a fight ensues that, ultimately, leaves Jade dead on the stairs. Why do women kill? Because someone tried to kill them first, apparently.

Why Women Kill has been renewed for a second season but this is the last we’ll see of Jade (RIP), Taylor and Eli, though. Ultimately, the couple does move out of the Pasadena mansion and back to their comfortable condo (with Teacup!) to begin their lives anew.

American Horror Story 905: “Red Dawn”

Written by Drew

There’s a reason many of the best horror movies stick to a 90 minute runtime. The horror genre is difficult to sustain for two hours. Let alone ten episodes. There are only so many ways you can heighten the drama, only so many ways to twist the plot, before the scares wear thin.

Part of American Horror Story’s charm is its total disregard for any of this. It’s like the scary movie version of post-modern comedy that tells the same joke so many times it stops being funny, only to become funny once more.

This episode was especially chaotic. We begin with a flashback to 1980. Donna discovers that her father is a serial killer. This is the reason for her studies. She wants to prove that nobody is all bad, that her father wasn’t all bad.

But Margaret is making a case for the contrary. She’s quickly become the scariest villain on a show where just about everyone is villainous. There’s something about her weaponization of white womanhood and her random murderous rage that makes her scarier than some of the more conventional monsters. She kills two more of the boys, gleefully keeping their ears.

Meanwhile, Montana finally attacks Brooke. Brooke fights back, stabbing her repeatedly just as the sun comes up and a bus full of children arrives.

Brooke is arrested. And Montana returns, along with Ray who died a few episodes ago and the dead hiker. Montana shoots a cop with a laugh. “Lighten up!” she says to the boys. “You’re doing this purgatory thing all wrong!”

There were moments where this episode grew tiresome. But by the end I had to take Montana’s advice and lighten up. We’re not watching American Horror Story for the logic or the story. We’re watching for the thrills.

How to Get Away With Murder 604: “I Hate the World”

Written by Natalie

I’d say “jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Tegan” but who am I kidding everything looks good on Tegan Price.

Last week, before Gabriel’s mother departed Philadelphia for good, she left her son a gift: dozens of tapes from his father’s therapy sessions with “A. Harkness,” who we know today as Annalise Keating. Gabriel listens to them, of course, in part to get a better understanding of who his father was but also to get dirt on Annalise…because, surely, whatever she’s has done is worse than this awful breach of privacy that he’s doing…or, at least that’s how I imagine he rationalizes it to himself. But as creepy as it feels to listen to the tapes, they do offer us a window into Annalise’s thinking, circa 1994, when she was coming to grips with her relationship with Eve.

AK: Maybe I’ve just been using Eve as some kind of an escape.
Sam: An escape from what?
AK: Me. Hating myself.
Sam: You don’t hate yourself around Eve?
AK: No. I like myself more when I’m with her.
Sam: What’s the problem with liking yourself?
AK: Liking myself isn’t the problem. It’s how I got there.
Sam: You mean falling in love with Eve?
AK: Falling in love with a woman.

So much of what Annalise says on those tapes is teeming with internalized homophobia and biphobia. She never denies loving Eve but wonders if it’s genuine all the while. What will her father think? Did she fall in love with a woman because, after her uncle and the abuse, she just didn’t want to be with a man? Is she really in love or is she just taking respite in the first safe place she’s found since her trauma? Do you have to choose between feeling good and feeling safe? And while a part of me — the small part that Pete Nowalk didn’t deaden last season — instinctively listened to the tapes, hoping to find a path back to endgame for Annalise and Eve, what I found instead as proof, perhaps, that my hopes of an Annalise-Tegan hook-up aren’t dead yet.

This week, Annalise and Tegan team up with outside counsel, Robert Hsieh, to defend a Tinder-like app that’s discriminating against its users. The disabled plaintiff wants the app to change its algorithm or face a lawsuit under Title II of the Civil Rights Act. The case itself isn’t that compelling — once the plaintiff is revealed to be an incel and the would-be defendant is revealed to be someone about to license her discriminatory algorithm to the government for its use, it becomes hard to cheer for anyone — but what is compelling is what we learn about the lawyers. We see that, though Annalise and Tegan are equally committed to justice, they have different perspectives on the best way to achieve that goal. Annalise wants immediate change — she wants the system to yield here and now — while Tegan favors trying to slowly amass the power necessary to create wide-reaching systemic change.

The other thing we learn? Tegan remains very, very interested in Annalise. Every time Robert flirts with Annalise, the look of jealousy that flashes on Tegan’s face is unmistakable. When she mentions it to Annalise, she brushes it off Robert’s interest — he probably works for the FBI, she says — and when Tegan probes why Annalise thinks no one can actually find her attractive, AK chalks Tegan’s interest up to her wife’s recent re-emergence. But, eventually, Annalise gives in to one person’s interest: she acknowledges Robert’s flirting and goes on a date with him. How is it possible that Annalise is choosing this guy over Tegan? Who chooses this Star Trek lovin’ stranger — who could be the Feds — over a tested and true ride-or-die like Tegan? She’s right there, she’s so clearly interested….what are you even doing Annalise?!

But then I remember last week: “I feel safe with you. Too safe, clearly,” Annalise told Tegan and this week, the tapes confirm, she’s been running away from that feeling of safety since, at least, 1994.

Boobs On Your Tube: Anissa Pierce is Having Very Hot Superhero Sex on “Black Lightning”

We can’t believe that yet another week in queer television has flown right on by! Sunday night started the week with a bang thanks to the new L Word: Generation Q trailer (don’t worry, Riese has all the details in case you missed it). Speaking of The L Word, Riese and Carly are still retro-plowing through Season Two of the OG Series, and they dropped another podcast episode for you. The CW launched their fall line up and our favorite superhero Valerie Anne brought you a recap of Supergirl’s Season Five premiere (Season Five! Where has the time gone!?!?) while Natalie launched a new recap series for All American’s Season Two. It’s what Coop deserves. Kayla got us settled back into Riverdale for their fourth season premiere (RIP Luke Perry). Valerie did a deep dive into the queer legacy of Legacies. She also wants you to know that we feel really bad for sleeping on YouTube’s Impulse when it first came out. Last night Grey’s Anatomy staged a Charmed reunion, and you know that Kayla was all over that!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ Lilly Singh has already started queering up late night with her show, A Little Late with Lilly Singh, but this week, late night’s getting even gayer as Kid Fury and Crissle West bring their acclaimed podcast, The Read, to television. Tune in tonight at 11PM on Fuse! — Natalie

+ Legacies has done the unthinkable and paired up one boring dude with two queer women instead of putting the two queer women together but hopefully it all gets sorted out soon, because I do so love that show. — Valerie Anne

+ I went to the She-Ra panel at NYCC and Noelle Stevenson was using they/them pronouns for a character named Double Trouble (I can’t be 100% sure they are not two people in one vs non-binary because of their name and because on She-Ra it could go either way) and when AJ Michaelka was asked to describe Catra’s arc in the upcoming season in one word she said, “Revolutionary,” so do with that as you will. — Valerie Anne

+ Also at NYCC I learned that Poppy Drayton aka Ambertree (fka Amberle) the queer elf on The Shannara Chronicles will be guesting in upcoming episodes of Charmed. — Valerie Anne

+ Nora is still gone. This has been your Flash update. — Valerie Anne

+ On This Is Us, Tess Pearson is still adjusting to the trials and tribulations of being a queer middle schooler. Namely when a new friend at her new school asked her during lunch, “do you think this football guy is hot” she said yes, even though she really didn’t. And now she can’t stop beating herself up about it! Don’t worry bb, we’ve all been there. — Carmen

American Horror Story 904: “True Killers”

Written by Drew

AHS: 1984 reached new levels of insanity this week with an endless barrage of twists, deaths, and resurrections. The episode begins with Montana and Richard in a flashback. They meet at one of her classes, Montana telling Richard, “My class isn’t for posers. This is aerobics. It’s serious.” Richard shows just how serious he is by grotesquely murdering her student who complained she wasn’t playing enough Cyndi Lauper. They have sex in the locker room, rolling around in the poor guy’s blood.

We learn that Montana’s brother was Brooke’s fiancé’s best man who was killed at her wedding. That’s why Montana wants her dead. Richard happily signs up for her revenge plot, eager to kill, and to win Montana’s affection.

I truly cannot praise Billie Lourd enough. She understands the tone of the show, managing to ground her character and play into the campy humor.

Meanwhile, Donna has Brooke hanging from a tree, eager to learn if Jingles will kill her even without the thrill of the chase. Jingles and Richard arrive at the same time and fight to Richard’s death. Donna and Montana also fight, ending with Donna unconscious.

Also Margaret was the real killer in 1970! She framed Jingles and the years locked away convinced him her story was true. She almost kills him, but not quite, and he’s left wandering the camp pondering his true nature, while Margaret joins the kids with her façade of Christian innocence intact.

Donna wakes up in the woods just as Richard is being resurrected by Satan. They lock eyes and he cracks a smile. Ryan Murphy better not get any ideas, because I want Angelica Ross’ mad scientist around until the very end! Not that any deaths on this show actually mean someone is gone forever.

Why Women Kill 109: “I Was Just Wondering What Makes Dames Like You So Deadly”

Written by Natalie

Guess who’s coming to dinner?

Before each episode of Why Women Kill gets into full swing, there’s a short introductory montage. Usually it’s an insignificant glimpse into the future — after the woman has killed whomever they’ve killed — but this week, we get a window into the past that’s worth noting: a warning from Jade’s dearly departed foster mother, Verna Roy, that she is pure poison.

Back in reality, Jade’s cooked up a special breakfast — with a side of coke — to help Eli prepare for his meeting with Martin Scorsese. But Eli’s meeting with Scorsese is just a rouse: his agent leads him into a room where Taylor waits, eager to tell him everything about the woman who’s been sleeping in their bed.

Taylor explains that Jade (real name: Irene Tabatchnick) had been thrown out of three foster homes by the age of 16: twice for stealing cash, the last time for attempting to seduce her foster father. A week after Irene was booted from the third home, it burned down with her foster parents — including the aforementioned Verna Roy — inside. Irene disappeared after the fire, before the Ohio police could talk to her about the mysterious circumstances.

When Jade picks Eli up, eager to hear all about his meeting with Scorsese, it’s clear that some of what Taylor said got through to him. He continues with the rouse, recalling that Irene’s story sounds a lot like what Jade suggested for his script. Jade claims the idea just popped into her head and Eli asks if the name Jade popped into her head, too. She quickly realizes that Duke’s shared her story while Eli realizes that everything Taylor said was true. Jade starts driving erratically, nearly mowing down an old man crossing the road, but Eli grabs the wheel and crashes them into a nearby car instead. The crash leaves Eli bloody and disoriented but Jade’s unhurt. When she hears the police cars echoing in the distance, she knows she has to run.

Taylor gets to the hospital and finds a sedated Eli with fractured ribs. Before he went to sleep, though, he wrote her a note: REHAB. Meanwhile, Jade and Tinkerbell are making themselves comfortable at Duke’s apartment. She tries to ingratiate herself to him but Duke’s not having it and, eventually, he reveals he sold Jade out to Taylor in exchange for bail money. The show Jade finally remembers that Taylor’s a lawyer and realizes that she has to get out of town before Taylor uses her connections to get her locked up. When Duke refuses to give her his watch to pawn, a fight ensues and we finally get an answer to why women kill.

How to Get Away With Murder 603: “Do You Think I’m a Bad Man?”

Written by Natalie

A unicorn.

From the moment that Tegan Price revealed that she was queer on How to Get Away With Murder, I’ve been hoping for hook-up between her and Annalise. I’ve tried to speak it into existence from my recaps. They were both attracted to each other and they were both sex-starved so a hook-up felt inevitable. Sure, they hated each other for a while and, I suppose, Tegan wouldn’t really know Annalise was an option until Eve came to town, still: my hopes were up.

But last night’s episode of HTGAWM may have shattered my dreams: turns out, Tegan Price is married.

This week, Tegan’s faced with fires on multiple fronts, caused by Annalise’s underlinings. Somehow Michaela manages to get a felony murder charge added to a laundry list of charges being thrown at one their clients, while a well-intentioned Connor kidnaps his client from his foster home to take him to see his mother in Maryland. She chastises Annalise for not being there to supervise her students and for sending Bonnie to her for a job and, as is her wont, AK is immediately gets defensive.

Tegan pulls rank, saying, “A lesbian, woman of color, running a major law firm. I’m a damn unicorn. So, to have you — not one of the 321 other men working here — making my job harder, someone I thought was my friend, that’s not salt in the wound, it’s a chain saw to my neck.”

“I feel safe with you. Too safe, clearly,” Annalise admits. Usually this is the point at which I’d note how that sounds like something you’d say in the prelude to a relationship but, honestly, everything about the delivery said “friends” not “future lovers.”

Tegan leaves Annalise to work with Michaela on her case while she heads to Maryland to bail get the firm’s clients, Marisol and Hector, out of a detention center. Already there when she arrives? Bonnie, who saw the opportunity to earn points with Tegan by helping. As is her wont, Bonnie lies to get them into the room but when her plan to free Marisol and her son falls flat, Tegan steps in. She places a phone call to the Under Secretary for Intelligence and Analysis at Homeland Security* and urges them to tell the director of the ICE facility to release their clients.

Who is this Under Secretary, willing to do a favor for Tegan at the the drop of a dime? Cora Duncan. Tegan’s wife.

We’ve known about Cora. We knew that she was the best sex of Tegan’s life. We knew that Tegan sacrificed their relationship for her job. I assumed (and, given her title, it’s a safe bet) that Cora’s the genius that supplied Tegan with the copy of Emmett’s phone records last season. But every time Cora has been referenced previously, it’s always been as an ex.

Sharing my confusion, Annalise confronts Tegan about not telling her she had a wife. Tegan and Cora are still married only because she hasn’t filed the paperwork yet.

So, let’s review? Annalise has been friendzoned and Tegan’s still married. How did something that started with so many possibilities go so wrong?

(*Fun Fact: the current Under Secretary for Intelligence and Analysis is most senior out gay official serving in the administration.)

Almost Family 102: “Related AF”

Written by Valerie Anne

Victoria Cartagena is coming for me in this show. The way she talks and walks and the things her character is saying (“You’re a good kisser,” for example) is so great and overwhelming at the same time.This week, Amand and Edie had a conversation about their kiss and Amanda asked Edie what her ~deal was anyway. Edie didn’t really know where to start with that, so Amanda explained that sexulaity is a continuum and it’s rare people are 100% one thing or another. She describes her own ratio as 80/20 and Edie blurts that’s she’s more like 50/50. She blurts it like it’s something she’s just thinking about now, and she’s not quite sure how she feels about this realization. It’s a little more binary than is strictly necessary, but considering this is the kind of show my parents are watching, I thought it was nice to hear them to talk about queerness and sexual fluidity like this, chipping away a bit at the assumption that all bisexual people are all attracted to their same gender and another gender equally.

After a day of courtroom foreplay, however, Edie is reassessing her original declaration, saying she thinks maybe it’s more like 60/40, and Amanda pulls her into a room so they can pick up where they left off.

Julia ends up spotting them making out and keeps Edie’s husband from finding them, but surely this will complicate things going forward.

For some reason this reminded me of the classic Rookie Blue moment: “The courier was sick, Oliver, if you must know!”

God Friended Me 202: “The Lady”

Written by Carmen

The only gay church I attend regularly is the Church of Beyoncé, and I never miss a service.

Since we left God Friended Me last season, Ali Finer came out to her dad, Minster Papa Pope, and then Minister Papa Pope changed the tone of his ministry to be more LGBTQ+ friendly. Then, the church lost parishioners. Minister Papa Pope thinks Ali didn’t notice, because he would hate for his daughter to know that the community she was raised with is actually a group of small minded people with cruelty in their hearts, but there you have it. Also, he’s no longe the minister at that particular church (for separate reasons).

Minister Papa Pope has since been asked to give a special sermon at First Advent of Harlem, an LGBTQ church. He goes to Ali for advice, and her words are true, but hard to swallow: If he’s going to practice service leadership, Minister Papa Pope might want to take a back seat and learn about the queer and trans community before he starts ministering to them.

That leads him back to First Advent to meet with their pastor, played by trans actress Peppermint (you might know her as first ever trans runner-up on RuPaul’s Drag Race or as the first trans woman to ever create a principal role on Broadway in Head Over Heels). Pastor Peppermint informs Minister Papa Pope that Ali has actually been attending First Advent for a while now, she intends to become a member of the church.

I was pretty surprised that his first reaction was to freak out; he never imagined that his daughter would leave the church that she grew up in (even though he’s no longer the minister there? Which feels like a key reason to move on if you ask me). Once confronted, Ali tells her brother Miles the truth — she’s leaving their family church because she knows about the parishioners that left after she came out last year. She begs him not to tell their dad.

Miles tells Minister Papa Pope anyway, because even though its a risk, he believes that airing the truth will ultimately bring Ali and her dad back together. It works! Minister Papa Pope attends Ali’s new membership ceremony at First Advent; he understands now that he was putting his own ego ahead of his daughter’s needs. The hug and I cry and really I can’t believe how much this corny little show pulls right at my heartstrings.

Black Lightning 301: “Birth of Blackbird”

Written by Carmen

Kissing with cornrows and a honey suckle background? This is the black lesbian representation I’m looking for.

Welcome to the new home of your Black Lightning recaps! I talked it over with Heather, and we both agreed that until the writers of Black Lightning really get their shit together (excuse my language, I’ve had all summer and I’m still mad) and treat Anissa’s love life with the same consistency and care they’ve given their straight characters, we can chat about her right here weekly! IF anything huge happens (*cough *cough THE RETURN OF GRACE CHOI would be a prime example *cough *cough), we will be sure to give it a special stand alone treatment! And of course all of this is subject to change as the season progresses, etc.

Enough with the business of recapping, and on to the business of Anissa having sex! Because she definitely did that this week.

Anissa has been looking for Grace Choi ever since last season when she found out that Grace is a shapeshifting meta. However, it seems that Grace doesn’t want to be found, so Anissa keeps coming up empty. When she meets a national reporter for the website “Clapback News” (Jamiliah Olsen, who I think has to be somehow related to Supergirl’s Jimmy) one night at a bar, Anissa thinks she might be able to help. Well my friends this reporter had other things on her mind, namely helping herself to Anissa in her hotel bed.

I’ll give Black Lightning this, the scene in question is Hot. Very Hot. But then again, hot lesbian sex has never really been this show’s problem — consistency in lesbian storylines, that’s where they’ve faltered.

Speaking of which, very little about the rest of Anissa’s storyline made sense this week, for example if she’s supposedly heartbroken and looking for her girlfriend, why is she looking for her in between the legs of another woman? Hmmm? OR why would they chose to force Anissa into a heavy handed metaphor about family separation at the border that didn’t quite make sense for Freeland in the first place? OR where on earth did the Pierce family get the money for Anissa’s balling new apartment? What happened to her living at Grandaddy Pierce’s old house? (Not that I’m complaining about Nafessa Williams listening to Chaka Khan in her underwear, not at all, but c’mon!) Still, if Black Lighting is going to keep giving us incredible lesbian sex like that, I may just have to learn to forgive them.

PS: The episode ends with our favorite bulletproof lesbian actually getting shot while performing a rescue mission, but I wouldn’t worry if I were you. I’m sure our girl makes it.

The “Almost Family” Pilot Gives Us a Queer Couple to Root For

I’ll be honest, if I had known the concept of Almost Family before I watched the pilot, I might have been less keen to check it out. But the fact is, I watched it at PaleyFest NYC where you sit in a room and watch a ton of pilots all at once, so all I knew about Almost Family was what the subway posters told me: that Brittany Snow was in it.

The squicky concept is this: a man runs a fertility clinic and decided to use his own sperm to increase his success rate. But not unlike Jane the Virgin, if you can overlook the very awful circumstances that set up the show (that the show itself does not deny are horrible circumstances; in fact, the pilot ends with the man being charged with sexual assault, as he should be) you’ll find a heartfelt connection between a few lost souls for whom this discovery is the straw on the overburdened back of their messy lives. The pilot is full of drama and humor and Brittany Snow’s eyes, and also, much to my delight, Gay Content.

While the show itself is mostly about Julia (Brittany Snow, and whose dad is the perpetrator of the crimes), it’s also about a retired Olympic gymnast named Roxy (Emily Osment) and an attorney and frenemy of Julia’s, Edie (Megalyn Echikunwoke) who I believe will be most of interest to you, gentlereaders.

So cute. So tuff.

When we first meet Edie, she’s feeling very out of her element in some kind of tantric yoga/sex therapy situation with her husband, who feels like they’ve lost their spark. She tries to reassure him that everything is fine, but we get a little glimpse into what might be going on with her when she gets to work and sees Amanda Doherty and immediately gets flustered and worked up.

Edie and Amanda end up getting lunch together under the guise of shop talk, but Amanda soon starts flirting and asking if they’re on the “same team.” Edie stresses a bit and assures Amanda she got the wrong idea (which Amanda is respectful of and even though just the way she looks Edie makes it seem like she’s about to swallow her whole, she backs down when Amanda says she’s married) but Edie will later describe this moment as a thread being pulled at; feelings she thought she was keeping under wraps are starting to be unraveled.

I would panic if Amanda looked at me like that and I KNOW I’m gay.

In fact, later, when her husband casually mentions something about a team, Amanda snaps WHAT TEAM DO YOU THINK I’M ON?! and it’s clear there’s something (or someone) she can’t quite get off her mind. Edie doesn’t even make it until the end of the episode before these newfound urges take over and she meets up with Amanda again just to plant one on her.

Wastes! No! Time!

I love that Edie’s confusion isn’t going to be stretched out over the course of the entire season, and based on the previews for upcoming episodes, I think we’re about to go on a JOURNEY with Edie and Amanda. And I think we’re going to love it. Normally I’d feel a little weirder about a woman cheating on a man with another woman, because of the optics, but it seems like Edie’s husband isn’t really all in on the relationship either and is still harboring feelings for Julia, so maybe they’ll address that they were just friends who got too comfortable and avoid the ‘bisexual cheater’ trope. I personally have an extra layer of loving it already because I feel like Victoria Cartagena was always destined to give us a queer character to root for but Renee Montoya’s time on Gotham was cut devastatingly short, so this feels right in my bones.

Overall, I think this show is going to be largely about the friendships between Edie, Julia, and Roxy, which I love. They’ve all been victimized by one man’s crime, and that brought them together, but the fact is, they needed each other either way. They were all a bit untethered, and they all needed a hand to hold onto. And now, perhaps, they’ve found one or two.

I’m already pretty invested in this trio.

I think the show, so far, is doing a great job of villainizing Julia’s father. He displays classic abusive behavior when talking to her — telling her she’s special, convincing her to help him cover up his crimes by telling her that HER life will be ruined too if he goes down for this, etc – and I can only hope they won’t, at any point, try to redeem him. I hope Amanda only fights that much harder to take him down when she learns Edie and her mom are victims of this man’s crime, too. I hope they keep zooming in on Brittany Snow’s eyes and letting Emily Osment sing. And I hope they get as gay as it seems like they’re going to get.