advice Archives

advice

autostraddle fundraising

A transfeminine non-binary person and transmasculine gender-nonconforming person embracing

straddleverse

16 Really Nice Things You Said About the A+ Advice Column!

“The advice helped me so much and also was so caring it made me cry? But in a good way.”

Nico —

Jun 26, 2021

#PolyamoryProblems

advice

A couple face with their backs against each other in pink and soft violet with the column title #PolyProbs framed in a circle around them

relationships

#PolyamoryProblems: Advice for Newbies with Too Many Feelings

For some polyam newbies, big feelings can make you feel out of control. Dating experienced people can be a gift, but it could also mean that you defer to your…

DaemonumX —

Jun 8, 2021

#PolyamoryProblems

advice

Two women stare at each other suggestively; one is seated and looking up, the other is kneeling above her looking down. The words Poly Probs are printed on top of the image.

love + sex

#PolyamoryProblems: How Can I Make My Primary Partner Have More Fun?

Stop trying to make your vanilla partner more kinky!

DaemonumX —

May 3, 2021

#PolyamoryProblems

advice

lesbian sex

#PolyamoryProblems: How to Approach Safer Sex with Multiple Partners

Polyamory is all fun and games until you get an STI from one partner and then your other partner shames you for it. STIs aren’t fun, but they do happen.…

DaemonumX —

Apr 5, 2021

advice

covid-19

Camila, creator of The Pause Project, poses in two different photos: one she is standing and sewing, the other she is kneeling and facing the camera. Both images are on a peach background.

first person

The Pause Project: How to Take Time for Self-Care, Slowness, and Joy

We could all do with a little bit more self-care right now; this how-to takes you through one dyke’s journey to find joy and slowness through The Pause Project. Learn…

Camila Coddou —

Mar 23, 2021

advice

youth and teenagers

A graphic that reads "Dear Tween Self" with an ipod and a skateboard in a style that is reminiscent of a tween doodling in a notebook

af+

A+ MEMBER COMMUNITY POST: What Advice Would You Give Your Tween Self?

sometime this year you are going to steal your first pack of cigarettes from *redacted*’s mom: please don’t ? you will like them far too much and also will feel…

Nico —

Mar 9, 2021

advice

into the af+ advice box

Ilana from Broad City cries in the arms of her therapist

af+

Into the A+ Advice Box #28: Coping with Trumper In-Laws, Dating as a Demisexual, and More!

Advice for coping with a parent who’s an addict, being accountable to people you’re dating, and more!

the team —

Feb 5, 2021

advice

into the af+ advice box

Indira Dadyshue of the Bojack Horseman cartoon gives therapy

af+

Into the A+ Advice Box #27: A Pattern of Growing Tired of Dating Cis Men

What if you don’t like receiving oral sex, but want to? What if you canNOT get your new crush/person out of your head, but need to focus on work? What…

the team —

Jan 22, 2021

advice

dating

Yes, Virginia, Queer Women Can Casually Date: Here’s How It Works

If casual dating is a thing you want, you can do it! I believe in you / us / our ability to not get married on the third date.

Vanessa —

Jan 20, 2021

advice

how to be gay

lesbian dating apps

A Very Sensible, Queer Guide to Sending the First Message on Dating Apps

14 first messages that will have you burning up your matches list (with queer pop culture references!).

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Jan 13, 2021

advice

body positivity

dating

Assume Everyone Thinks You’re Hot, I’m Serious

The confident vibe you get from me? The “naturally sexy” way you (might) think I am? It’s not natural at all. It’s a choice; it can be learned. Here’s how!

Vanessa —

Jan 11, 2021

advice

into the af+ advice box

A character from anyone but me sits for therapy

af+

Into the A+ Advice Box #26: Working Through Shame Around Kink

Grief is not linear, finding help for your top surgery recovery, ways to alleviate feelings of isolation while staying home, and more!

the team —

Jan 8, 2021

advice

Most Popular

I’m In My Thirties and Can’t Make Up My Mind About Having Kids

I’m a Stone Butch Top Who Can’t Bring Myself To Penetrate Anyone Else

You Need Help: I Can’t Figure Out What I Should Wear and Who I Should Date

You Need Help: I Hate Not Having a Girlfriend

You Need Help: How Do I Deal With the Inescapable Sexism in My Industry?

You Need Help: Trying To Live Through the Pandemic Is Destroying My Mental Health

You Need Help: What Does “Going Slow” in a Lesbian Relationship Look Like?

You Need Help: Your Girlfriend Has No Friends

You Need Help: Your Future In-Laws Won’t Come to Your Wedding

You Need Help: What If My Mom Hates My Girlfriend?

I’m In My Thirties and Can’t Make Up My Mind About Having Kids

I’m a Stone Butch Top Who Can’t Bring Myself To Penetrate Anyone Else

You Need Help: I Can’t Figure Out What I Should Wear and Who I Should Date

You Need Help: I Hate Not Having a Girlfriend

You Need Help: How Do I Deal With the Inescapable Sexism in My Industry?

You Need Help: Trying To Live Through the Pandemic Is Destroying My Mental Health

You Need Help: What Does “Going Slow” in a Lesbian Relationship Look Like?

You Need Help: Your Girlfriend Has No Friends

You Need Help: Your Future In-Laws Won’t Come to Your Wedding

You Need Help: What If My Mom Hates My Girlfriend?

16 Really Nice Things You Said About the A+ Advice Column!

#PolyamoryProblems: Advice for Newbies with Too Many Feelings

#PolyamoryProblems: How Can I Make My Primary Partner Have More Fun?

#PolyamoryProblems: How to Approach Safer Sex with Multiple Partners

The Pause Project: How to Take Time for Self-Care, Slowness, and Joy

A+ MEMBER COMMUNITY POST: What Advice Would You Give Your Tween Self?

Into the A+ Advice Box #28: Coping with Trumper In-Laws, Dating as a Demisexual, and More!

Into the A+ Advice Box #27: A Pattern of Growing Tired of Dating Cis Men

Yes, Virginia, Queer Women Can Casually Date: Here’s How It Works

A Very Sensible, Queer Guide to Sending the First Message on Dating Apps

Assume Everyone Thinks You’re Hot, I’m Serious

Into the A+ Advice Box #26: Working Through Shame Around Kink