advice Archives

advice

into the af+ advice box

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af+

I’m In My Thirties and Can’t Make Up My Mind About Having Kids

I’ve been thinking about it almost every day lately.

the team —

Feb 16, 2024

advice

into the af+ advice box

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af+

I’m a Stone Butch Top Who Can’t Bring Myself To Penetrate Anyone Else

“I’m struggling to get over the empathetic feelings of ‘Aaa! Vaginal penetration is painful and bad.'”

the team —

Feb 9, 2024

advice

you need help

A frustrated young woman standing in front of her closet, hands on her head, looking at a bunch of outfits and not knowing which one to pick.

coming out

You Need Help: I Can’t Figure Out What I Should Wear and Who I Should Date

You don’t need to have one particular vibe, type, or style. You don’t have to have it all figured out now, next week, or next year.

Em Win —

Mar 15, 2022

advice

you need help

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dating

You Need Help: I Hate Not Having a Girlfriend

Why do you want a girlfriend? Why do you dislike being single? I’m serious! I want you to ask yourself these questions and come up with as many answers as…

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Mar 8, 2022

advice

you need help

A frustrated Black woman feeling despair sits by her computer in a shared office holding her head in her hands.

money + work

You Need Help: How Do I Deal With the Inescapable Sexism in My Industry?

Ultimately, your question is about how to find hope in the midst of the inescapable bigotry that defines the working world.

himani —

Mar 1, 2022

advice

you need help

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life

You Need Help: Trying To Live Through the Pandemic Is Destroying My Mental Health

I want you to hold this: Even though the world is kind of terrible, your life is precious and valuable, and you are loved.

himani —

Feb 22, 2022

advice

you need help

dating

You Need Help: What Does “Going Slow” in a Lesbian Relationship Look Like?

I think what we’re trying to do here is enabling you to get comfortable judging the quality of your relationship not for your mutual willingness to prioritize emotional whims and…

Riese —

Feb 8, 2022

advice

you need help

A person sits on the outside of a friend group looking lonely.

friendship

You Need Help: Your Girlfriend Has No Friends

Ultimately, you should remember that it’s up to your girlfriend to do the work of making friends, not you. I would encourage you to find a way to cheer her…

Em Win —

Feb 1, 2022

advice

you need help

A Black women in a white dresss holding flowers looks lovingily at a white woman in a suit on their wedding day

lesbian weddings

You Need Help: Your Future In-Laws Won’t Come to Your Wedding

It’s obvious you love your fiancé very much, and want to protect them from any agony the world wants to hurl at them. Unfortunately, you mostly can’t. But here’s what…

Heather Hogan —

Jan 25, 2022

advice

you need help

A person with mid-length, curly brown hair wearing a white T-shirt and a blue, red and yellow flannel puts their hands against the sides of their head. Their mouth is open in a frustrated expression.

relationships

You Need Help: What If My Mom Hates My Girlfriend?

Of course you’re being thoughtful about if, when and how you’ll introduce your girlfriend to your family — given your mom’s previous actions, there’s a chance she won’t grant you…

Ro White —

Nov 16, 2021

advice

you need help

a lonely woman sits with her head between her knees by a beautiful lake

dating

You Need Help: I’ve Never Had a Date and I’m So Lonely

The bad news is the answer to loneliness is not necessarily found on dating apps. The good news is you can meet people other ways.

Vanessa —

Nov 9, 2021

advice

you need help

a queer couple sits at a coffee shop holding hands and having a serious conversation

relationships

You Need Help: I Don’t Want Kids But My Partner Might, Does This Mean We Can’t Get Married?

Our present selves can’t make promises for our future selves. Your partner is telling you what she knows about herself today. Is that enough?

Vanessa —

Nov 2, 2021