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A-Camp October 2013: It’s Campership Time!

Sometimes you wanna go to A-Camp but you just can’t afford it, and sometimes you don’t really want to go to A-Camp but totally could afford it, and if we mash both of those types of people together, we create a symbiotic relationship known as “the campership.” Although we have lots of good ideas around here, this particular idea just-so-happens to be yours.

This October, we’ll be heading up to the mountain with a gaggle of delightful humans, accompanied by first-rate talent like world-class comic Deanne Smith, Design*Sponge Founder Grace Bonney, rock star and Real L Word alum Somer Bingham and so many lovely Team Autostraddle members. You guys, THE CARNIVAL.

There will be workshops and panels and activities and lots of feelings, and to find out more about the experience you can read recaps from April 2012 and September 2012 and May 2013, and read the announcement post for October 2013 Camp here.

This time we’re gonna be giving away full Camperships and partial camperships. You can:

1. Donate a full campership ($465) which will go to one camper. You’ll have the option to donate anonymously or have your identity revealed to the camper, who then might, you know, send you a thank you card or something! To do this, just enter $465 as your donation amount via this link, and Daniela will be in touch about your identification prefernces.

2. Donate to The Campership Fund! Half of the campership fund will go towards full camperships and airport shuttles for those who need it. The other half will go towards half-camperships ($230 each). (Subject to change depending on how many donations we get)

If you want to apply for a Campership, you can do so here. The only requirements are that you be a new camper who’s never been to A-Camp before and that you have a way to get there.

If you need a little inspiration to open your pocketbooks for some fine human beings, we’ve got here some essays from the winners of May 2013 Camperships. You can also obtain further heartstring-tugging from the campershippers of September 2012 and April 2012.

If all this just makes you wanna go to A-Camp regular-style, you should!


Caitlyn, 19 – Boston, MA

Photo via Caitlyn

Photo via Caitlyn

I have been living as a survivor for three years — unable to get help when I asked for it, kicked out of my house by my parents a few weeks after graduating high school, unable to attend college as I’d hoped to do. I was learning to live on my own.

I wanted to get to A-Camp 3.0 so I could meet the community that accepted me during the worst years of my life right before setting out to leave where I came from and move somewhere new.

A-Camp is about community. It’s about hundreds of like-minded, inspiring, beautiful, open, queer people getting together to create this safe space I never imagined could exist. For me, the past few years have been spent mostly on surviving, and A-Camp was the first place to entirely embrace me in this unconditional kindness, safety, love and solidarity that I hadn’t known for years. That’s what makes A-Camp so profoundly important to me. That sense of safety and community that hasn’t been guaranteed for me was suddenly there, and for five full days I was able to operate openly and unapologetically as myself; without thinking twice, without question, without hesitation. And, once you have that, there’s really no limit to what you can make happen – that’s where the rest of A-Camp comes in!

There are panels about sex, race, relationships, queer history, and more sex. Then, there are the workshops where you could write things or make a thing or drink whiskey or learn how to do drag. Then, there’s the best part, where you don’t even have to go to any of it if you don’t want to! You could spend all day walking around the mountain, talking to attractive/queer/interesting people, and when night happens you could do any combination of drinking, partying, dancing, star gazing, running off into the woods to hook up with someone, and so much more.

As a person who has never really had a place they considered home, I like to find my home in other people, and A-Camp proved to be the perfect community to become just that.

I’m rambling, but that’s the point: A-Camp is this magical place full of opportunity, beautiful queer people, beautiful queer everything, and it’s all about what you make of it. For me it was this open safe space that allowed me to hit the ground running, meet more lovely, inspiring people with stories similar to mine than I ever have, attend panels that lit me up and gave me all the feelings and ideas, party, chase geckos and dance with all of the stunning queer people I just met.

What more can I say? As a person who has never really had a place they considered home, I like to find my home in other people, and A-Camp proved to be the perfect community to become just that. It’s an experience I won’t soon forget, and I feel privileged and humbled to have found home in it all. I’m endlessly grateful to everyone who makes this possible, for the campership that made it possible for me, and to all the ‘straddlers out there who continue to create the impossibly beautiful place that it is A-Camp – y’all are the best. I’m certainly planning to make my way back soon, until then: take care, stay sassy, and you do you!

Photo via Caitlyn

Photo via Caitlyn


Ana, 22 – Nogales Sonora, México

Photo via Ana

Photo via Ana

Living in México in a small border city and with a very Catholic family has been a hard process to find myself and be who I am.

I’ve been reading Autostraddle for a while now, and I love it, since the first time I read it I haven’t stopped. For me, it was this amazing community I found on the internet, and it was helping me get through a lot. So when I read about A-Camp I thought it was such an amazing idea, but something I’d never be able to afford because dollars are expensive — the minimum wage in the US is between 6 or 8 dollars per hour, which in Mexico is equivalent to 5.18 dollars per day. I’m a student, so there was no way I was gonna be able to come up with the money for camp. But when I saw the campership opportunity I was so happy because at least there was some hope for me to go to camp. So I applied and when I got the email saying “You’ve Won a Campership!” I did my happy dance and yelled at the top of my lungs, I was so happy and excited. Going to camp was a dream come true.

I don’t have enough words in English or Spanish to thank the people who donated and who are gonna donate camperships for this camp.

A-Camp gave me a sense of community (outside of the internet, which is like 10000 times better), a safe space, and a place where I could be completely myself and not just parts of me, where I didn’t have to check if “I looked too gay.” It was this awesome place where I learned so many interesting things in the panels and workshops, and met amazing people. At the beginning I was afraid because I didn’t knew anyone in my cabin and because my first language is Spanish (and my English isn’t so good) so I didn’t know how that would work with other people, but everyone in my cabin was so welcoming and by the end of camp we had really bonded and now we are friends. (Foxfire don’t stop!!).

Photo via Ana

Everyday I woke up at 7 AM to go drink coffee and then go to the Morning Stretch or Yoga, and every night I went to bed at 2.am or 3.am after dancing and having tons of fun at KLUB DEER. I just wanted to do and learn as much things as I could, so I could bring it back home with me and not feel so alone and hopefully someday put into use all the things I learned and start a queer community where I live.

One of my favorite things at camp was the staff reading and Lilith Flair. If you think the autostraddle team is great, you have to meet them in person. They really go out of their way to make A-Camp happen and be the amazing thing it is, Muchas gracias por todo. Shout out to Gabby and Katrina, my cabin counselors for making my camp experience complete, and to Alex Vega because she took the time to talk to me and she was really cool.

Camp was such a great and filled-with-feelings experience, all my walls came down at camp, I felt like I belonged there. I don’t have enough words in English or Spanish to thank the people who donated and who are gonna donate camperships for this camp. Even if you don’t think that you are making a difference, believe me you are, that experience might change someone’s life.

Photo via Ana


Nancy, 22 – Signal Mountain, TN

Getting my campership was the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. It trumped college, that one time I went to London, and possibly sex (possibly). When I got the email telling me I was going to A-Camp in May I was in a work meeting for a job I’d get fired from shortly thereafter, and I had to go grocery shopping after that. None of that stopped me from jumping up and down excitedly in the middle of the meeting and then practically dancing through the grocery store, a grin a mile wide on my face. I think I scared the cashier.

Photo by Bree

See, I had convinced myself that I wasn’t going to get it. I knew that a lot of people had applied for it, and yeah, I’d had a really crappy year for a lot of reasons (including that my mother was diagnosed with Stage III A DCIS breast cancer) and A-Camp would be just this massive break and stress relief and there was a very real possibility that this one would be the only I’d be able to go to, but other people had it much worse off, I knew, so why would I be the one to get it? The only reason I wrote and sent that email asking for a campership was because a camper who wrote one of these things for the campership they got said pretty much the exact same thing I just said up there. They didn’t think they’d get it, and they did. I didn’t think I’d get it, and I did. So even if you don’t think you’ll get it for whatever reason, still try, because you just might and that just might is so, so worth it.

Actually going to A-Camp was terrifying and amazing and hard and also a lot easier than I’d thought. I went by myself, flying across the country from Tennessee to LA, going to this camp where I literally knew no one and where I’d meet people who’s writing I’d been reading and loving for years. “Nerve-wracking” doesn’t begin to describe it. I don’t think my nerves settled until I finally went to sleep at camp after being awake for around 23 hours (time zones are a bitch). Once I woke up though, I felt comfortable with the people around me almost immediately in a way that pretty much never happens.

Over the next few days in between workshops, rediscovering writing, Klub Deer, talking to lots of different people and exchanging stories about where we came from, Lilith Flair, the talent show, Deanne Smith, meeting people I’d previously only known through a computer screen, having feeling circles, taking moments just to breathe by myself (and also because altitude), and goofing off with my cabin (Runaways!), I found a community I’ve been sorely lacking in my hometown and it was as amazing and welcoming as I’d been led to believe. No matter what you needed, wanted, felt, thought, looked like, or said, all of it was met with non judgment and often cheers of encouragement.

It’s been a month since we left camp and our cabin still hasn’t stopped talking to each other, and hopefully never will. We’ve become a support system for each other, and no matter how shitty my day is there’s always going to be a conversation going about something, and that is worth whatever nervousness and worry and insecurity I had about sending that email to Autostraddle asking for that campership.

(photo by ariel)

(photo by ariel)


Hannah, 24 – San Francisco, CA

hannah-and-her-two-momsIt’s 4:30 pm on a Monday and I’ve just put down my deposit for A-Camp 4.0. I’ve also opened a bottle of red wine so I can write about feelings and A-Camp and life. Mostly feelings. The night I wrote my campership application essay I had been drinking wine, too, and that essay clearly worked out in my favor, so.

Here we go again.

I have a story. It has to do with my parents and my being gay and is somewhat sad, a little bit tragic and probably won’t end well. But that’s ok. I’ve embraced it.

You probably have a story, too. And if you want to share your story and/or listen to all the others’ stories, you should come to A-Camp. And if your story at the moment is along the lines of I HAVE NO MONEY, you should apply for the campership.

In my campership essay I wrote: “I want to let out all my feelings that I’ve kept inside for so long and just live, live, for the first time in my life.” And that’s exactly what I did at A-Camp.

Before quitting grad school, leaving home and coming to San Francisco, I had chosen a new name with my best friend so I’d have a layer of armor protecting me from whatever dire consequences there might be of my queerness. I could pretend like I was someone else and not the girl who would go quiet whenever someone was being homophobic, afraid that they’ll figure it out if I called them out or obsessively hide her laptop because it might open up a certain website that has news, entertainment, opinion and girl-on-girl culture.

My parents love me so, so much. To them, I have this illness and because they love me so much, they have to help me get better. Although being Koreans, a lot of it comes from trying to save their reputation. If anyone finds out about me, I’m pretty sure my mother will withdraw from society or [much worse]. No child should live with that kind of fear.

The real life is tiring and sometimes you don’t even realize how tired you really are because you just accept this world we live in and the best you can do as a queer Asian girl who sometimes feel like she has struck out is try to fit in. Then I went to camp and realized I didn’t have to try. I could just be. And that it was actually more like, now I can be myself, finally, after pretending to be someone else for the past 23 years. The best part was that I didn’t owe it to anyone to explain who I was or what I was or why I was. I just was. As I am. If coming to San Francisco was like breathing for the first time after living underwater, then going to A-Camp was like flying for the first time.

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Before I went to A-Camp 3.0, I thought it would be my one and only camp mostly because I knew I still wouldn’t be able to afford the next one. And honestly, I can’t really afford it right now. But like I said, I’ve just put down my deposit and I’ll be getting a second job so I can make it happen. Because A-Camp felt like that first love, exhilarating and nerve-wracking in a good way, and you think you can survive on that, just that and nothing else. But at the same time it also felt like the childhood home where you felt warm, safe, protected. I had travelled and moved around so much I didn’t exactly know where my home was anymore. Until I was at camp and I was right there and I found my home, along with all the other Runaways, who now hold a special place in my heart. And I realize that sounds amazingly corny and tacky.

For now I have to deal with money and patriarchy and the real world but that’s ok because come October, you and I will be home again.


Cait, 20 – Chicago, IL

foxfire don't stop

foxfire don’t stop

2012 was tough. My world was cracking. I was cracking. And I didn’t know how to fix it. So, I applied for a campership…  and a weird phenomenon of hope ensued.

Last year, life kept shitting on my face. I was a full-time student squeezing in a full time job to support myself and a family that was financially weakened by Superstorm Sandy.

I watched from Chicago as my family in Jersey fell apart.

As my dad had his hip replaced and a little machine placed in his heart.

As my brother became a convicted felon.

And as my mom broke down while she asked her youngest daughter to support her family.

There is nothing worse than hearing your mother cry. I heard her cry again though, but with a little laughter, when I explained I was going to California to sit on a mountain with queer folk to talk about feelings. She was excited, I was nervous.

The knowledge that a stranger had paid for me to have a weekend in queer bliss slowly helped me climb out of my little pit of sadness.

The knowledge that a stranger had paid for me to have a weekend in queer bliss slowly helped me climb out of my little pit of sadness. For the next few months, that was how I got through things. When I was drained, I remembered that I would soon be surrounded by the people I had been internet-stalking for years. And I got giggly.

A Camp was everything I needed. It marked a turning point in my life. The knowledge that a stranger had paid for me to have a weekend in queer bliss slowly helped me climb out of my little pit of sadness. It made me realize I didn’t really have anything to be sad about. Because somewhere in the universe a perfectly queer stranger thought it would be nice to give up their savings for me. I was in awe.

At A-Camp, I found a support system. I met people who were also having a tough time. And we processed our tough times together. I finally had some time for self-care. And for that, I’m pretty damn thankful.


Brooklyn, 21 – Houston, TX

I thought I knew what camp was. It’s just something I’ve always done. Every summer, my peers and I would face the Texas sun like a boxer in the ring. We’d slather our half-naked swim-suited up bodies in layers of sunscreen and explore the grounds of East Texas Baptist Encampment. After dark and after showering, several hundred sunburned kids would slip between rows of pews and listen to a pastor with a name like “John” or “Matt”, but never “Samantha” or “Becky”, tell us who we were supposed to be, why we were supposed to be like that, and how we were supposed to get there. In Jesus name, amen.

This was camp. It wasn’t a bad experience, until it was. It was something I looked forward to, until it wasn’t.

I thought I knew what camp was. It was a place I went every year to hide from my parents. It was a place where I pretended to fit in with all the other boys, when I really just wanted to be a girl. It was a place where I was made to feel bad for everything I wasn’t and everything God was. I knew immediately that A-Camp wasn’t like any other camp.

Fast forward like six, seven years. Came out, kicked out, down and out. I was tired and depressed. Everyone around me could feel it too. I had turned into Black Hole Brooklyn.

Then along came A-Camp. It had been the roughest year of my life and here was a chance to kick back and take a break. Not have to worry about things. No tears, no feelings, just fun.

Ha ha. The joke was on me. They call it Mt. Feelings for a reason.

Stepping off the bus, my first thought was how bad my butt hurt. Sitting for two days is as fun as it sounds. Immediately after though, I realized how familiar it all felt. The birds, the trees, the lesbians. Oh wait.

I thought I knew what camp was. It was a place I went every year to hide from my parents. It was a place where I pretended to fit in with all the other boys, when I really just wanted to be a girl. It was a place where I was made to feel bad for everything I wasn’t and everything God was. I knew immediately that A-Camp wasn’t like any other camp.

Brooklyn Jaye, Straddler on the  Mountain

Brooklyn Jaye, Straddler on the Mountain

It was the first safe place I’d ever found. I never once felt singled out or different. I never felt like I had to hide. I certainly never felt ashamed to be queer. It was pretty awesome.

I connected in such a real and honest way with my cabin mates, finding family there. I felt accepted and, for once, authentic.

I was forced to confront the world I came from and everything that was wrong with it. The fact that strangers could come together and create a truly safe place was simultaneously awe-inspiring and disheartening. There’s no reason safe places shouldn’t exist in “the real world” but they don’t. A-Camp, for me, was a picture for everything the rest of the planet could be.

(photo by rachel walker)

(photo by rachel walker)

If I had to describe A-camp in one word, I’d choose queertastifabeautiful. It’s really the only word for it. “Utopia” is another, I guess.

So I went to A-camp, enjoyed A-Camp, and then A-camp was over. I enjoyed two more butt-achingly long days on a bus and returned home to southeast Texas. It took me a week or so to realize that just as my definition of “camp” had changed so had my definition of “home”. My heart is not in the place where I regularly get called a “fag” by people driving by, with almost comIcal regularity. My heart is still up on that mountain.

I miss it and I can’t wait to go back.

 

A-Camp May 2013 Recamp #4: YUP.

Welcome to the fourth of four fantastic recaps of our experience at A-Camp 3.0, which took place 2.5 hours outside of Los Angeles at Alpine Meadows Camp atop a mountain in Angelus Oaks, California, from May 23rd-27th, 2013. These recamps serve to ease our collective separation anxiety, enable us to wax nostalgic over times gone by and provide prospective campers with a brilliant glimpse into the A-Camp Experience.

A-Camp May 2013

A-Camp was the genesis of an idea Riese had at 3AM in July 2010: the concept was to take the spirit of the website into three glorious dimensions and create an affordable vacation for queers for whom other lesbian-marketed vacations aren’t a perfect fit.  In April 2012, we did it for the first time— along with 160 campers and 35 staff members, we rented out a summer camp in its off-season and enjoyed a transformative weekend of fun, friendship, panels, workshops, classes, sports, entertainment, events and so forth. It was probably the most awesome experience of our life and we knew from there it would only get bigger and better — and it did, in September 2012!

jenny2

Which brings us to May 2013, when our largest-ever group of campers arrived on the mountain, and were greeted by dedicated counselors and treated to four days of kickass programming. Swagger 101! Comedy Improv! Yoga! DIY Body Scrubs! Hop-Hop Dance! Kink Panel! Know Your Whiskey Tasting! Recess Games! Drag King Workshop! Femme Luncheon! Lilith Fair! Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard! Deanne Smith! Somer Bingham! The cast of Unicorn Plan-It! Calendar Girls! Team Autostraddle! Most importantly: EACH OTHER! And So. Much. More.

A-Camp May 20131

In the past, these recamps have been exhaustive recollections of every minute of A-Camp, but this time we’re tightening it up a bit. See, A-Camp is whatever you want it to be — and it’s something different for everybody. You all have your own stories in your hearts and brains and cameras and in the notebook paper pieces in your back pockets and this is our story of what goes on behind-the-scenes and also in the front of our brains to make this whole she-bang come together with relative grace. Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. (Also, we miss you!)


Sunday, May 26th: Day Four

photo-by-stephanie-c

Early Morning: Sunrise Eagle Cafe // Morning Stretch With Feelings (Mary) // PAJAMA BREAKFAST

A-Camp May 2013 Collage-Ready1

Block A: Holistic Health Workshop (Jess) // Blog Anything (Riese & Laneia) // Kink Panel (Daniela, Nic, Ali, Kay) // Make Another Thing (Hansen) // Spooning 2.0 (Stef & Katrina) // Yoga (Devyn)

Block B: DIY Lingerie For Grrrls & Bois (Lizz & Hansen) // Slam Poetry (Gabby) // Queer Representation in Media Panel (Haviland, Croce, Brittani, Somer, Julia, Carly, Deanne Smith) // Write Something (Rachel) // Coming Out Narratives (Sarah Evan) // Hip-Hop Dance (Devyn)

(photo by aki)

(photo by aki)

Vanessa, Contributing Editor & Blackhearts Counselor: Even though I attended A-Camp 1.0 last year as a camper, I didn’t manage to find any time to go on a hike and really explore the mountain. I remember feeling envious of everyone’s nature-filled photos post-camp last year, so this time around I swore to myself that I’d get some photographic evidence of myself being surrounded by trees (because obviously the number one reason to go on a hike is to take photos that will get a lot of likes on Instagram…jk…or am I?!) Anyway, I went on not one but two hikes this time! The mountain is so gorgeous! There are so many trees! Why doesn’t Brooklyn look like this?! The first hike was during pre-camp and Jill taught me all about life in the country, and the second hike was on Sunday and I went with my girlfriend, Julia, and a few other campers. I loved both hikes but the second hike was a lot longer and a lot more feelings-filled, and it was also really nice to get some time with my girlfriend (hi Rae!).

rachel & vanessa

rae & vanessa

Carrie, Community Managerette & Tiger Beat Counselor: Helping Daniela get dressed for The Kink Panel was a highlight. Vanessa and Lizz might fight me on this, but the occasion seemed to call for fishnet stockings over a floral print skirt.

Daniela, Intern & Starjammers Counselor: This was the first time we had a separate, focused panel on kink at camp and I learned so much just by sitting next to Ali, Kay and Nic. Ali moderated that thing like a boss, and we all got to prove kink looks like whatever you want it to look, as long as you keep it safe, sane and consensual. Pretty awesome stuff to sit, think and chat about on a Sunday morning in a mountain full of queermos.

kink panel (photo by rachel w)

kink panel (photo by rachel w)

Stef, Contributor & Bombshells Counselor:  We weren’t exactly sure how the powers that be let us have a Spooning Workshop to begin with, nevermind a second one, and we didn’t want to rehash September camp’s curriculum if we could help it. We walked in a bit nervous, unsure of everything except our innate ability to cuddle like champions. Once we got in there though, some higher power took over, and we began answering questions, holding demonstrations, and problem-solving like the accredited snuggling gurus we always knew we could be. We can’t tell you everything that happened – as always, you need to actually attend the workshop to learn its secrets – but I can tell you that everybody walked out of there with all the tools they needed to spoon each other with affection, dignity and respect.

Image via Stef

Image via Stef

Lizz, Contributing Editor & Starjammer Counselor: I can’t believe how many campers showed up for DIY Underwear For Grrrls & Bois. We made the cutest “dyke” underwear and, much like nerdcraft, it was nice to have some downtime and just chat with people. Plus, I got to see how talented all the campers are! They made some seriously sexy stuff.

dyke-by-stephanie-c

(photo by stephanie c)

Gabby, Writer & Foxfire Counselor: Big shout outs to Ashley Catherine for co-hosting the Slam Poetry Workshop. I just want to thank everyone for giving of themselves and diving deep into their most vulnerable places and sharing their words with us. We led a workshop based on Reneé Watson’s “I Am Not” line poem that’s centered on the idea of how we are perceived versus who/how we really are. Together we created line poems and performed them. A group of campers even got together and performed their piece at the talent show. It was amazing.

Jill, Wild Things Counselor: I went to Gabby’s poetry thing thinking I would just listen to some rad poetry. But wait! It was a workshop?!?! That meant I had to get involved and participate and shit. But that worked out fine because I wrote a poem and felt some feelings. I was impressed with the poetic talents of all the campers who read the poems that they composed on the fly during the workshop. Some of those lines cut right to the bone.

making another thing (photo by aki)

making another thing (photo by aki)

Laneia, Executive Editor & Runaways Counselor: It was almost an unspoken thing that we’d do a live Blog Anything, and we both knew what it would look like: a pile of queers writing in notebooks with Fiona Apple playing softly in the background. Bliss, right? We put together some super brilliant prompts that I can’t recall now — I think one was to write about an experience on public transportation — that were totally optional. I’m not sure anyone used them.

This might sound weird, like I don’t trust y’all or something, but I was kind of shocked that it worked. No one wanted to talk or get a second opinion on a clunky sentence — they all just wrote with their little heads down, and seemed to enjoy it.

I think with each camp, Riese and I will slowly keep adding things that allow us to just sit in a room with campers and quietly listen to emotionally intense ’90s/’00s women on her computer.

Vanessa: My favorite thing in the world is meeting you guys. I’m not exaggerating. It’s why I write Stradder On The Street. It’s why I joke that I want to interview every single queer women in the world but it’s not really a joke because I actually do. It’s why I was the most excited to run Straddler On The Mountain and have people submit to the column in person. Admittedly, things could have gone a bit smoother. I’m not sure that every camper knew that I was just trying to garner submissions, and I think some people avoided the activity because they thought I might put them on the spot and try to interview them right away. What happened in actuality was that I made a bunch of shy yet enthusiastic announcements in the dining hall letting campers know that I’d be outside Wolf during certain times and asked/begged for submissions, and then I sat outside Wolf and waited for y’all to come to me. While I did not reach my goal of 100+ submissions, I did get 53, which means we’re all set through summer 2014! And that’s not counting the cuties who have emailed me since coming home saying, “I meant to submit on the mountain but I forgot/got lost/was making out with a hot girl at the pool party and just couldn’t leave, but anyway can I do it now!” But the numbers actually don’t matter. All I want when I do Straddler interviews is to connect with our readers, and I got to do that SO MUCH during my Straddler On The Mountain sessions at camp. So thank you to everyone who submitted. And, uh, if you still want to submit…no pressure, obviously…but if you want to…email me at vanessa [at] auto straddle [dot] com! Thanks!

Brooklyn Jaye, Straddler on the  Mountain

Brooklyn Jaye, Straddler on the Mountain

Cara, Contributing Editor & Bombshells Counselor: The Bombshells Birthday/General Celebration Dance was amazing. My cabin earned their name like woah. Plus they made each other tiny birthday cakes and smuggled them into camp. My love knows no bounds.

Image via Stef

Image via Stef

Rachel, Senior Editor & Slayers Counselor: It’s incredibly difficult to describe, but Somer’s campaign for Best New Intern of 2013 was one of my favorite parts of camp and also my life in general. I hope someone videotaped her campaign speech at Sunday’s dinner, because I want to treasure it in my heart forever.

Photo by Cee Webster

Photo by Cee Webster

Robin, Photographer & A-Camp Co-Director : Intern Somer is one of my favorite moments of camp. Mostly the moment I saw the hair creations she was making. What a treasure.

Photo by Cee Webster

Photo by Cee Webster

Riese, CEO/Editor-in-Chief & Runaways Counselor: I had no idea what was going on with the Intern Somer campaign until she got up at lunch and delivered a dead-serious campaign speech that would’ve probably given Kerry a leg up in ’04 regarding her achievements thus far as a self-appointed intern at A-Camp.

somer & mani (photo by stef)

somer & mani (photo by stef)

Marni, Contributor & A-Camp Co-Director: Our new talent this camp was beyond. Deanne Smith was finally able to join us after my efforts for the previous two camps were squashed by her exhaustive, globe-trotting comedy schedule, and she killed. Just KILLED. Her set was the hardest I’ve laughed in forever. And Somer Bingham, whom I’d only met once before camp, brought such an amazing, enthusiastic energy to everything she did. When she wasn’t on a panel or jamming at Lilith, she was making weirdo sculptures out of Katrina’s barbershop hair refuse, and campaigning to be Autostraddle’s new intern (complete with a vote and concession speech). They weren’t just “talent,” they were real team members, and it was an honour to have them.

Mary, Calendar Girl & Little Rascals Counselor: Sharing a bathroom with DeAnne Smith was really special. She used my hairspray, you guys!

Lizz: It was such a pleasure to hang out with our new intern, Somer. Intern Somer started helping out right from the start, but I think she really came into her own when she started making all the schedules. I just don’t know how I will survive without her to write out my day.

A-Camp May 2013 Recamp #2: Nothing Compares 2 U At Camp

Welcome to the second of four fantastic recaps of our experience at A-Camp 3.0, which took place 2.5 hours outside of Los Angeles at Alpine Meadows Camp atop a mountain in Angelus Oaks, California, from May 23rd-27th, 2013. These recamps serve to ease our collective separation anxiety, enable us to wax nostalgic over times gone by and provide prospective campers with a brilliant glimpse into the A-Camp Experience.

A-Camp May 2013

A-Camp was the genesis of an idea Riese had at 3AM in July 2010: the concept was to take the spirit of the website into three glorious dimensions and create an affordable vacation for queers for whom other lesbian-marketed vacations aren’t a perfect fit.  In April 2012, we did it for the first time— along with 160 campers and 35 staff members, we rented out a summer camp in its off-season and enjoyed a transformative weekend of fun, friendship, panels, workshops, classes, sports, entertainment, events and so forth. It was probably the most awesome experience of our life and we knew from there it would only get bigger and better — and it did, in September 2012!

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Which brings us to May 2013, when our largest-ever group of campers arrived on the mountain, and were greeted by dedicated counselors and treated to four days of kickass programming. Swagger 101! Comedy Improv! Yoga! DIY Body Scrubs! Hop-Hop Dance! Kink Panel! Know Your Whiskey Tasting! Recess Games! Drag King Workshop! Femme Luncheon! Lilith Fair! Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard! DeAnne Smith! Somer Bingham! The cast of Unicorn Plan-It! Calendar Girls! Team Autostraddle! Most importantly: EACH OTHER! And So. Much. More.

A-Camp May 20131

In the past, these recamps have been exhaustive recollections of every minute of A-Camp, but this time we’re tightening it up a bit. See, A-Camp is whatever you want it to be — and it’s something different for everybody. You all have your own stories in your hearts and brains and cameras and in the notebook paper pieces in your back pockets and this is our story of what goes on behind-the-scenes and also in the front of our brains to make this whole she-bang come together with relative grace. Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. (Also, we miss you!)


A-Camp May 2013 Recamp #2: Day Two

 

Friday, May 24th: Day Two of A-Camp

Our first full day of A-Camp was jam-packed with Big Panels and concluded with an Evening of Feelings-Related Entertainment.

Photo by Cee

Photo by Cee

Friday Morning

Block A: The Truth About Cats & Dogs (Mary & Jill) // Gay Movie Trivia (Brittani, Kate & Carly) // What Makes Queer Family Queer? Panel (Laneia, Carrie, Riese, Whitney, Somer & Robin) // T-Shirt Cutting/Stenciling (Carmen & Medd) // The Care and Keeping of Plants (Kristen & Cara)

Block B: DIY Projects: Car Repair (Jill) // Introvert Meetup (Crystal & Whitney) // Non-Monogamy Discussion (Daniela, Jen F, Stef, Kay M) // Comedy Improv Workshop (Brittani) // Bloody Hell: A Menstruation Feelings Atrium (Laneia, Rachel, Lizz, Ali)

(photo by vanessa)

(photo by vanessa)

Cee, Technical Director & Golden Girls Counselor: I woke up at 6am Friday morning and dragged Jill over to see the trash can and look for bear prints.

Kristen, Contributing Editor & Scissor Sisters Counselor: I kept waking up at 6.30 even though official things didn’t happen until 8.30. But I met a bunch of weirdos with equally fucked up sleeping patterns and fresh brewed coffee to boot. So while everyone else was working off their hangovers I met up with the Breakfast Club and traded gummy Vitamin B12 for paper cups of French press coffee. I’d like to thank Melisa, Meredith, Stephany, Naomi, Crystal and everyone else for introducing me to Trader Joe’s Cookie Butter, TimTams and 4,000 Femme and Not-So-Femme Feelings.

Gabby, Writer & Foxfire Counselor: I was so so sick! I was burning up with fever and feeling like I was going to faint! Holy crap, could I please just take a moment to thank Megan for everything she said/did on the mountain and in the way she had my back and giving me Tylenol and Gatorade and hugs? Literally, every time we bumped into each other, Megan asked me if I was ok, if I needed help, handed me some type of hydration, huggation – literally she even sat with me for a moment when I felt dizzy and wanted to cry.

What Makes A Queer Family Queer Panel (photo by katie o)

What Makes A Queer Family Queer Panel (photo by katie o)

Mary, Calendar Girl & Little Rascals Counselor: Leading The Truth About Cats and Dogs discussion with Jill is always a highlight. Listening to her talk about anything makes me feel like all is right in the world.

Cara, Contributing Editor & Bombshells Counselor: The Care and Keeping Of Plants was the only workshop I helped lead and I was SO NERVOUS about it. Luckily A-Campers are so smart and awesome that every activity ends up a crowdsourced cabinet of wonders. The picnic tables were soon as smorgasbord of glitter paint, artful twigs, homemade seed envelopes, and really great advice about keeping green things alive in the New Mexico desert.

Crystal, Music Editor & Toros Counselor: The Introvert Meet-Ups are always a really chill time. Whitney and I broke everyone into two groups and we sat around getting to know each other via a series of conversation-starter style questions about our hopes and dreams and worst first dates. It was really great to see all the campers hanging out together once the event was over, that was the best part.

swingers (photo by christina b)

swingers (photo by christina b)

Sophia, Inferno Counselor: I learned a lot from Jill’s Car Repair I mean, I don’t know how to drive but I did really enjoy watching that butch action in in the sunshine, just gotta say.

Stef, Contributor & Bombshells Counselor: I asked to be on the Non-Monogamy Panel this camp ’cause I actually have a ton of experience despite not really identifying as a polyamorous person, and I’ve never really talked about it in public before. It was really cool to sit on a panel with four super knowledgeable babes and share our experiences. Like so many activities at camp, we talked a lot about communication. Communication! You should do it.

Daniela, Intern & Starjammers Counselor:  Stef and I sat along with three campers and told a chunk of camp about our experiences, knowledge and understanding of relationships outside of monogamy -we each had an approach that illustrated just how different non-monogamy is for each person. I loved hearing experiences from the audience and being there to validate one another over the challenges we face as people in non-monogamous set-ups. More than anything though, I really liked how the take away was you do you because you’re doing it well as long as it feels right.

Brittani, Contributing Editor & Hellcats Counselor: Going into the Improv Workshop, I was afraid people would be hesitant to participate and everyone would get shy and then there would be no workshop, it would just be me standing in the ampitheater by myself laughing nervously. I was especially worried because improv games can be very similar to ice breakers and I HATE ice breakers. I suspect I’m not the only one that holds this opinion so when everyone was on board and didn’t look like they wanted to kick me in the shins, it was a huge load off. I got a lot of good laughs as the hilarious campers talked about their pet peeves, smacked each other with imaginary frying pans, and argued about fixie bikes.

improv

Comedy Improv class (photo by rachel w)

Rachel, Senior Editor & Slayers Counselor: The period panel (Bloody Hell: A Menstruation Feelings Atrium) was something that we had talked about as camp approached, but I think I had sort of always thought “nah, we can’t actually do that. No one else wants to just talk about bleeding for an hour, do they?”

Riese, Editor-in-Chief & Runaways Counselor: Personally, I did not want to talk about bleeding for an hour. It is a constant source of tension between my sister wife Laneia and I that she always wants to talk about periods and I never do. Except when I want to complain about cramps.

Rachel: BUT APPARENTLY PEOPLE DID. The group that attended this workshop was so incredible – I learned new things about reusable pads and PCOS and our weirdo bodies, and everyone was super hilarious while doing so.

Ali, Contributing Editor & Outlaws Counselor: We really had no idea what to expect, since all of us individually could talk about our period feelings for an hour apiece, and then we had to condense our collective feelings into an hour.

A-Camp May 20132

bloody hell

Rachel: Liz and I performed some Very Educational roleplaying about how you can talk to your partner about period sex, which we had practiced extensively. Also a male campgrounds employee may have walked in while I was explicitly propositioning Liz for [hypothetical] period sex, which I sort of regret, but also maybe he learned something!

Ali:  Liz taught me all about Leptin and hormones and such and I got to draw a Diva cup on a large piece of poster paper. Basically my life was complete after I drew the cup for a room full of queers.

Riese: This was the first camp where I wasn’t scrambling to plan for my next activity every free minute I got, so on my off-blocks I could go to other people’s things! DeAnne Smith & I hit up the Non-Monogamy Discussion and then I ducked out to catch some of Bloody Hell. Non-Monogamy and Periods are two things I generally fail at but wish I was cooler about, but isn’t that what camp is all about? EXPANDING YOUR MIND? Whenever I had free time to go to other activities I would sit there and think, “damn this is a really good camp.”

t-shirt cutting & stenciling

t-shirt cutting & stenciling


Next: Quinoa. Just kidding! Um, the rest of the day. That’s what’s next, duh!

A-Camp May 2013 Recamp #1: Over The Mountain and Into The Woods We Go

Welcome to the first of four fantastic recaps of our experience at A-Camp 3.0, which took place 2.5 hours outside of Los Angeles at Alpine Meadows Camp atop a mountain in Angelus Oaks, California, from May 23rd-27th, 2013. These recamps serve to ease our collective separation anxiety, enable us to wax nostalgic over times gone by and provide prospective campers with a brilliant glimpse into the A-Camp Experience.

A-Camp May 2013

A-Camp was the genesis of an idea Riese had at 3AM in July 2010: the concept was to take the spirit of the website into three glorious dimensions and create an affordable vacation for queers for whom other lesbian-marketed vacations aren’t a perfect fit.  In April 2012, we did it for the first time— along with 160 campers and 35 staff members, we rented out a summer camp in its off-season and enjoyed a transformative weekend of fun, friendship, panels, workshops, classes, sports, entertainment, events and so forth. It was probably the most awesome experience of our life and we knew from there it would only get bigger and better — and it did, in September 2012!

jenny2

Which brings us to May 2013, when our largest-ever group of campers arrived on the mountain, and were greeted by dedicated counselors and treated to four days of kickass programming. Swagger 101! Comedy Improv! Yoga! DIY Body Scrubs! Hop-Hop Dance! Kink Panel! Know Your Whiskey Tasting! Recess Games! Drag King Workshop! Femme Luncheon! Lilith Fair! Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard! DeAnne Smith! Somer Bingham! The cast of Unicorn Plan-It! Calendar Girls! Team Autostraddle! Most importantly: EACH OTHER! And So. Much. More.

A-Camp May 20131

In the past, these recamps have been exhaustive recollections of every minute of A-Camp, but this time we’re tightening it up a bit. See, A-Camp is whatever you want it to be — and it’s something different for everybody. You all have your own stories in your hearts and brains and cameras and in the notebook paper pieces in your back pockets and this is our story of what goes on behind-the-scenes and also in the front of our brains to make this whole she-bang come together with relative grace. Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. (Also, we miss you!)


 

A-Camp May 2013 Recamp #1: Pre-Camp & Day One

 

Monday, May 20th

The night before traveling to Los Angeles, a lengthy reply-all takes place as everybody panics and also worries about Gabby having bronchitis. 

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Tuesday, May 21st: Pre-Pre-Camp

The day before Pre-Camp, the A-Camp staff makes its way to the campsite in Angelus Oaks, a mere 2.5 hours outside of Los Angeles. This involves locals driving in vehicles and foreigners traversing land and/or sea via air and landing at the Los Angeles Airport to be retrieved by an overpriced shuttle and taken up the mountain as a family or, for those arriving later in the day, via rented automobile. It is a joyous time of reunions and introductions.

photo by cee webster

LAX Space Station (photo by cee webster)

Riese Bernard, Editor-in-Chief & Runaways Counselor: Marni and I drove down to Los Angeles on Monday and stayed at Alex’s, and then drove to Angelus Oaks the next morning while Alex and Mary fought the epic battle of Boxes-Of-Hoodies vs. Car. As per ushe, I’d had to compact all five feet and ten inches of my body into a overhead-bin-friendly size in order to fit all our camp supplies into our economy-sized rental car, which included three bags where my legs would normally have rested. But once we began the mountainous ascent, my fixed-muscular-position-induced fibromyalgic pains faded and were replaced by this nervous anticipatory feeling of being back at Alpine Meadows! It’s so weird how much it feels like home. And I knew that in 24 hours it wouldn’t even seem like a big deal that all my best friends were a pebble’s throw away and in 48 hours there’d be 147 brand-new faces and 112 familiar faces right there with us!

Marni, Contributor & A-Camp Co-Director: Altitude aside, I feel so lucky that we’ve found Alpine to host A-Camp. Katie, the site’s Group Coordinator and erstwhile “lunch lady” has been nothing short of amazing in accommodating all of our weirdo requests (can we use your photocopier to make flyers for our afterparty at “Klub Deer”?), and the kitchen staff (who had only been recently installed on-site a week before we arrived) were champions in meeting our group’s exhaustive dietary needs. Even the housekeeping staff and groundskeepers ask me for camp t-shirts and tell me how excited they are to have us and how much they want us to come back. And for a group like ours – weirdo queers of all stripes – that kind of warm, welcoming, enthusiastic acceptance is really something.

alpine

Stef, Contributor & Bombshells Counselor: Katrina and I didn’t fly together, but we did go to the airport together, and in the process we were chased up the subway stairs by a very scary and very aggressive crackhead. Suffice to say, by the time we disembarked from our respective redeye flights, we were a little bit fried.

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Rachel, Senior Editor & Slayers Counselor:  I was able to recognize Taylor immediately because she was the only person in LAX wearing Google Glass to drink lemonade in an airport bar. Kristen and Whitney were there too, and Kristen had thankfully brought several full-size bags of ketchup chips. God bless Canada.

"we all came from the far corners of the internet to play with our phones" (stef)

“we all came from the far corners of the internet to play with our phones” (stef)

Stef: I want to talk about Ali, and the fact that Ali flew in a goddamn bowtie. She stepped off the plane looking like a million bucks. Like, I thought I was ahead of the game because I followed Lizz’s article about how to feel less disgusting after flying, but Ali took this to another level entirely. I was about to learn a lot of amazing things about Ali this trip, like the fact that she rises with the dawn each morning, beaming widely, looking fresh as a daisy and ready to greet the day, while I communicate exclusively in dinosaur noises before my morning coffee. I am obsessed with everyone on Autostraddle staff and every single camper, but currently I am obsessed with Ali the most.

Riese: Also Ali got stopped by airport security because they thought her binder was a bulletproof vest, which is horrible/hilarious.

photo by vanessa friedman

carrie wheels katrina through the airport (photo by vanessa)

Carmen, Contributing Editor and Inferno Counselor: Geneva and I were coming from Los Angeles and expected to be on time, but a mixture of overpacking, last-minute camp cabin decoration shopping, and general inabilities to coordinate our time well led us to show up at LAX fifteen minutes later than our peers with a Quesadilla Maker (a gift for Brittani Nichols, of course) and a 12-pack of beer in tow using one of those Smarte Cartes (why the e’s?) to cling to our sanities and lives.

Lizz, Contributing Editor and Starjammers Counselor: I know it sounds lame to say “I had so much fun hanging out with everyone in the airport,” but it was just so good to see the staff. We were all exhausted and giddy that we ended up just shooting the shit for hours instead of doing typical airport things like listening to music or reading.

Stef: Because I was wearing a goddamn captain’s hat, somehow I ended up in charge of collecting all the staff members and putting them on a shuttle, and in this process I was able to shed the negativity that had literally chased me here and start getting pumped about what we were about to do. It was so exciting to slowly amass a giant group of Autostraddle staff, both returning counselors who I already knew I loved working with and the newer writers, who were all amazing in their own right.

Mey, Contributor & Slayers Counselor: I was totally starstruck… these are some of the people who helped to shape my queer identity. This is the website that I lurked on seemingly forever in order to get advice and find like-minded people when I was too scared to come out or couldn’t find queer lady friends in my hometown. And now I was sitting on a bus with them? Now I was getting hugs from them? This was too much.Meeting all these people and becoming a part of their community filled me with so much hope and love and warmth and brightness.

Lizz: Even the long drive up was fun. As we approached the mountain Ali started to get a little nervous about the huge death cliffs. Okay obviously I did too. I tried to tell Ali stories to make her feel better but the only ones I could access in my brain-space were scary ones about me and heights. We got there safely in the end though I suppose.

bitches on the bus (photo by stef)

bitches on the bus (photo by stef)

Mary, Calendar Girl & Little Rascals Counselor: It took Alex about four hours to pack our car before we nabbed Brittani and drove up the mountain. By the time she was done, the vehicle looked like it belonged to a hoarder. Driving on the freeway in downtown LA with no way to check your blindspot? Priceless.

alex-mary-brittani-driving-up

Riese: Robin and Carly got to camp right after we did and we were SUPER-EXCITED about the shuttle showing up with all the humans in it so we hid behind a tree for 20 minutes waiting to leap out from the woods and surprise everybody. It was super-exciting, and then I got to see all the people and also meet Mey and Cara and Kristen for the very first time! And later that night I’d meet Kate for the first time!

Mey: Here were Riese and Laneia, who had given me chances and encouragement to write for Autostraddle and share my feelings and experiences in a way that no one ever had. Here were Kristen and Lizz who wrote things that had helped me shape my identity and grow as a femme. There were Kate and Carmen and Hansen, whose columns I read all the time, and Whitney and Katrina whose articles I love (and everyone else I didn’t mention, it’s not that I don’t love you, I’m just running out of room to gush).

Sophia, Inferno Counselor: I was a hot mess Monday night, I didn’t have my flights in order or anything, I was sending nutty emails out like PRE-CAMP IS TOMORROW?? when my flight left in less than four hours. I missed my first flight out of Dulles, but managed to get on the next flight to LAX leaving seven hours later and arriving in the evening. It turned out to be very fortuitous as Kate missed their flight as well and we got to chill with “I’m in a black suit and know everything about LAX” Konstantin who gave us free snacks and showed us how to be truly indifferent while driving 60 mph up the mountainside.


 

Wednesday, May 22: Pre-Camp

The day before camp, the A-Team prepares for camp: we meet with our panel groups to finalize conversation topics, decorate cabins, prepare gift bags and workshop supplies, rehearse the opening ceremonies, participate in Being a Good Counselor 101, tour the grounds, make pigeonholes, and talk about our feelings.

kristen, photo by vanessa friedman

kristen is cold in the morning photo by vanessa friedman

I. The Cool Clear Light Of Day

Hansen, Contributing Editor & Scissor Sisters Counselor: For some reason, every morning at 6:30am, Kristen and I would wake up without alarms, she’d look over the edge of her bunk to see me staring at her and then we’d quietly creep over to Wolf for coffee. Intern Grace and Crystal were usually there, too. One morning, Intern Grace insisted we watch T is for Twig. Don’t EVER watch T is for Twig.

Riese: This year Robin and Marni were super-serious about everybody completely planning out and being 100% ready for their workshops like a month before camp even began, which made pre-camp oddly… not stressful? Which’s an uncommon feeling amongst employees of Autostraddle.com.

Meredydd, Business Advisor & Golden Girls Counselor: There is always a moment during pre-camp when I look around and can’t believe that I am surrounded by such an amazing, diverse, dedicated bunch of staff. And that everyone is giving their whole selves to make sure camp is as good as it can be. It is inspiring.

staff full of love and hope

staff full of love and hope

Mary: Co-counseling with Grace is my favorite everything. She is seriously one of the best people I know! We just love seeing everyone and learning about our campers. Also we decorated their cabin with baby shower decorations, including “Welcome Baby!” balloons. Grace let me use confetti and I love confetti!

Crystal, Music Editor & Toros Counselor: Carly and I were under the impression that we’d ordered one single inflatable cow to act as cabin mascot for the Toros cabin, so imagine our delight when we tore open the Amazon package and discovered an entire inflatable cow army inside. We’d only been on the mountain for 24 hours and I was genuinely concerned that my A-Camp experience had peaked.

photo by crystal silvester

carly outside the Toros (photo by crystal)

Riese: Prepping for the sex panel = talking to Lizz, Daniela and Ali about sex for an hour. I learned a lot about lube.

Taylor, Contributor & Vipers Counselor: I love everything about pigeonholes, from the fact that they are called pigeonholes to the full range of creepy to heartfelt messages (and objects!) that arrive in them to the ongoing saga of how to make them structurally sound. And making tiny notes for my cabin (VIPers!) during pre-camp gave me a great way to impress everyone with my Artistic Talents, by which I mean showing off a miniature watercolor set that I bought to make it look like I have Artistic Talents.

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the pigeonholes generally look much better than they do in this particular picture

Riese: Vanessa followed Kate around for most of the afternoon making headlines out of their every move – Butch Writes On Her Laptop. Butch Eats Breakfast. Butch Sits On A Bench. Butch Eats An Egg Roll. For sure Kate found this HILARIOUS. (Seriously though, still waiting for Butch Bleeds, inspired by the altitude-inspired nosebleeds.) No but really we don’t know how else to express love besides this manner of joviality.


II. Butch Goes On A Solo Hike

starring: Kate

photo by kate severance

photo by kate

Kate, Contributing Editor & Tiger Beat Counselor: I’ve never been to the West Coast before, but I grew up in the Adirondacks and I was a hiker before I was a walker. Living in Philadelphia makes me miss the mountains more than anything, and being in the middle of California mountains? My heart just about jumped out of my chest. Actually, it literally did that too, since binder + high altitude + physical activity = continual lack of proper breath.

I heard about the lookout point and decided I would go find it myself. I need a lot of solo moments to regenerate myself when I’m in an intense situation. Since camp is one intense situation after another and I’d been there since Tuesday, I needed that regeneration by Wednesday. So, I took a hike. By myself. Which we explicitly told you not to do, and which I would explicitly advise you not to do.

I saw a lot of blue-bellied lizards. Y’all have lizards! With blue bellies! And birds I’ve never seen before, and trees I’ve never seen before, and my favorite thing about the very limited travel I’ve had is seeing things I’ve never seen before.

The lookout was stunning. I took a couple very deep breaths and had a moment to myself. And despite the fact that so much of camp was beautiful because there were amazing people around me, the moment in which me, myself, and I processed everything that was happening was so very worth it.

butch sticks her finger in a hot pink sparkly situation (photo by vanessa friedman)

butch sticks her finger in a hot pink sparkly situation (photo by vanessa)


III. Ice Ice Baby

robin and marni practicing the opening night song

robin and marni practicing the opening night song

Brittani, Contributing Editor & Hellcats Counselor: In the weeks leading up to Camp, Stef jokingly tweeted about how many Smirnoff Ices she should bring to Camp. Since it’s been a dream of mine to unironically Ice people, I showed up with a variety pack. They were well worth the space it took up in Alex’s packed car might I add. It didn’t take long for me to ice Carmen which she fully appreciated because she knew it was a sign of affection.

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Carmen: I got pinned to go first. I chugged valiantly on one knee in clashing patterns while Brittani lovingly chanted, “bros icing bros, bros icing bros…”

Brittani: Carrie also found herself iced before I eventually lost interest and decided it was too difficult. There was no way to predict who would walk through what door when, making it impossible to effectively ice anyone. I think Robin got iced the last day of camp with a Smirnoff I left in Julie and Brandy’s room but I missed it. Maybe next time with more people down for the cause, icing will make a comeback three years after its initial popularity.

image via stef

brittani and carmen (photo by stef)

Riese: We capped off the evening with a fire circle in which everybody cried and shared their feelings about what Autostraddle meant to them, and it was intense and beautiful. Also: cold.

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so many feelings

 

IV. Over the River and Through The Woods and Up The Mountain We Go

Crystal: Somer Bingham and DeAnne Smith joining us on the mountain late Wednesday was a definite highlight. I am the biggest fan of both these people, they’re just so funny and talented and chill! They showed up a little after midnight because Somer Bingham experienced a series of travel mishaps that I now feel could’ve only happened to Somer Bingham.

Riese: I’d rented a car in Somer’s name and she realized when she got to LGA that her drivers license was expired, but assured me she could “turn the 3 into an 8” by the time she landed in LAX.

DeAnne Smith, The Talent: Somer and I drove up the mountain in the dark, late at night, pretty sure we’d be murdered. When we arrived, we were greeted by Marni, who offered to park the car, carry bags, and give me lip balm. That was way better than dying, and only a tiny taste of all the goodness A-Camp and it’s amazing humans had yet to provide.

picture by deanne smith


Next: Our first day of actual camp!

OPEN THREAD: Let’s Talk About How A-Camp Rocked Our Socks Off

Hi! I’m super confused right now because we’re not at camp. Specifically: we’re not at A-Camp. See, the past week has gone by faster than any other week in the history of time, I swear it.

(photo by ariel)

(photo by ariel)

Maybe it was the Super Moon, or maybe it was the slap to DeAnne Smith’s vulva or the Klub Deer stamp you’ve yet to wash off or the Lilith Flare songs you can’t get out of your head or maybe it’s that quiet spot in the woods you found or how we carry you in our hearts all the way down the mountain and how we can’t stop talking about you and what we’re gonna do next.

photo by ariel via twenty-something

[photo by ariel via twenty-something]

Marni’s sleeping beside me and Crystal’s gotten into bed in the other room and we’re in Los Angeles and we’re not at camp! There’s not always a lot of time to sleep at A-Camp so the fact that they’re both sleeping means we’re definitely not at camp. You guys, WHY AREN’T WE AT CAMP? I’m so fucking tired but I had to write a thing anyhow because I want to be right there, right at camp, and this is how we make it last a little longer.

getting ready

getting ready

It’s really beautiful up there and when you show up with your hearts wide open, pretty magical things happen and fun is had.

photo by amy g. via facebook

photo by amy g. via facebook

One of you told me that going to camp was like going home, and everybody who’d been back and forth once or more said it felt that way too. I feel like A-Camp is becoming different things for different people, and I like that. How some girls just wanna have fun and others wanna completely transform how they see themselves as a queer lady in a weird weird world and others just wanna be outside without internet for a minute or 500.

hannah-and-laneia

I’m proud of our team who worked their asses off for free, threw themselves completely into creating workshops and panels and performances just because they believe in you, believe in this, and wanted to have fun. It kinda seems like we’re finally getting our shit together, and maybe that’s why every time it becomes more and more and more apparent that YOU are camp.  Thanks for hanging out, weirdos. You’re really fucking fun to hang out with.

hellcats

There will be the feedback survey for all of your feelings about how things got done and could be done better. There will be the recamps to pretend like we’re still there forever and finally see all the photos you haven’t shown me yet, which is almost all of them.

by stephanie via instagram

by stephanie via instagram

So, for now: what’s your favorite memory of A-Camp? How do you feel at the bottom of the mountain? HAS ANYBODY FOUND THE SUPER GLUE???

somer bingham is slaughtered by camp (via instagram)

somer bingham is slaughtered by camp (via instagram)

A-Camp 4.0 will take place from October 9th-13th. Registration will open in mid-to-late June. Stay tuned for more details.

Let’s Talk About Fictional Kickass Heroines: Katniss, Xena, Buffy and More

by vanessa, geneva, julia, and mey
a-camp-may-2013-logo
Here at Autostraddle, we love kickass women. Who doesn’t like to see a girl kick some ass, both metaphorically and physically (but only to protect herself from harm and/or save the world and/or consensually with a trusted partner and a safe word)? Unfortunately for everyone, strong, confident, awesome female leads are few and far between in mainstream media, and when they do exist they’re often deeply flawed or oddly flat characters. Nonetheless, there are some really badass fictional ladies in this great big world, and we want to talk about them.

At camp, the four of us – Vanessa, Julia, Geneva and Mey – will be leading a discussion about female heroines who have positively impacted our brains and our worlds, and contrasting them with supposedly strong female leads who actually kind of miss the mark and make us wince (hi Bella, we’re looking directly at you). What role do these characters play in society’s view of women and girls? How do they positively or negatively shape girls’ own perceptions of themselves and their capabilities? How can we as a community work to create kickass women characters in our pop culture and how can we influence the mainstream media to follow our lead?

Much as we’d love to have that conversation here on the website, too, unfortunately it’s a bit difficult to host and participate in an open thread when you’re hanging out on a mountain top without any internet access. That said, we have a feeling you guys might have a few words to say about all this and we have total faith that you are all kickass humans in your own right who can totally handle this without our guidance, so we’re presenting a list of our favorite kickass fictional heroines as a way to jumpstart this feelingsfest and leaving the rest up to you!

This list is by no means all-inclusive, all-knowing, or even all accurate. If you completely disagree with our inclusion of a character, please (respectfully!) let us know. If you think we left someone out and are totally shocked and appalled that we’ve never read your favorite book / watched your favorite teevee show / viewed your grandma’s favorite home video starring YOU as a fictional heroine, go ahead and school us in the comments! And if you wanna profess your love for Buffy, once more with feeling, we wouldn’t blame you one bit.

SPOILER ALERT: We are about to talk about all of these characters as if you’ve read the whole book / seen the whole series / watched the whole movie / own all the comics in which they appear. If you have not in fact done that you may want to skim and skip accordingly. 


20 Kickass Girls in Books, Comics, TeeVee, Movies, and Pop Culture In General

Miss America Chavez

Young Avengers (Marvel Comics)
miss-america-chavez

This interdimensional kicker of butt is one of only a handful of prominent Latina superheroes in all of mainstream comics. She’s invulnerable, she can fly with super speed, she can travel through different dimensions and she’s so strong that she can “throw tanks to the moon.” She’s able to fight Norse Gods to a standstill. She has one of the best costumes in the Marvel Universe and a cool, no nonsense attitude. Plus, she has two super-powered moms.

Hermione

Harry Potter
hermione

Without Hermione, Harry Potter would not have survived past book one and then it would have been a lot shorter. She is the brains of the operation without a doubt. She might even be the smartest kid at Hogwarts and intellect is sexy and powerful. She is also a mudblood so she faces a lot of adversity within the wizarding world, but she gains everybody’s respect because she really is better at this stuff than most of the kids born into wizarding families.

Kel

Protector of the Small
kel

Kel is the first known female to sign up to become a knight. The boys pee on her door and trash her room. They put weights in her practice weapons and make her life a living hell, but Kel carries on with a calm face. She gets up before dawn everyday to do strengthening exercises so she can’t just compete with the boys, but so she is stronger than the boys. She takes in animals who are bound for the slaughter house and fights for those who cannot fight for themselves. She is a truly awesome role model for girls.

Kaisa

Ash
kaisa

Julia is desperately waiting to be cast as Kaisa in the movie version of Ash, because she wants to be her so bad. Kaisa is the King’s Huntress, which is basically his right wing woman. She rides around the country keeping everything safe and leading the hunt. She has excellent archery and equestrian skills. Her position is one of power and respect. She is also super suave with the ladies.

Zoe

Firefly
zoe

A soldier, a wife, a friend, and a kickass independent woman of color, Zoe earns her spot on this list many times over. Over the short run of Firefly (RIP), we witness her show off some impressive fighting skills, and it often seems as though she’s the only member of the crew that Captain Mal Reynolds really trusts. Though it’s a little off-putting to hear Zoe call Mal “sir” so often and consistently, that does not stop her from giving her opinions (both to Mal and to her husband, pilot and crew member Wash), and she never misses an opportunity to make subtle “I told ya so” comments when Mal’s plans inevitably go awry. It’s also refreshing to see a married woman on television retain her independence; she may be a wife, but she still calls her own shots and her husband not only accepts that, it’s obvious he respects it. Solid healthy relationship modeling all around!

Karolina Dean and Xavin

Runaways (Marvel Comics)
karolina-xavin

Karolina is a glowing, flying teenage daughter of alien supervillains who’s the emotional center of her team. Xavin is her shapeshifting Super-Skrull fiancée who’s one of the few transgender characters in all of comics. Together they form one of the best queer couples in recent comics, showing not only that you can have three-dimensional queer characters, but also that gender isn’t a simple, straightforward binary. These two are able to not only overcome their supervillian legacies, but also the racism and homophobia that they face for being an interracial lesbian couple.

Katniss

The Hunger Games
katniss

When we meet Katniss she is a young woman with almost no support system who manages to look after both herself and her family with no complaints. That would be impressive enough, but when she’s thrust into the world of the Hunger Games (by bravely and selflessly volunteering as tribute to save her little sister) her character gains strength and independence that make her an unstoppable force. Throughout the series we see her attempt to discern right from wrong, decide who she can trust and who is lying, and her humanity is celebrated even when it is not immediately rewarded, providing nice depth in comparison to a robo-girl who just kicks butt and takes name. Katniss does all this while being human, and it’s inspiring.

Tara

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
tara

Tara is arguably one of the most underrated Scoobies of the gang. She’s shy when we first meet her, but over the course of her arc she proves herself to be a powerful witch with both natural and learned talents, she stands up to her father and rejects the preconceived notions her family has about what a woman must do and be, she supports and loves Willow but also refuses to be manipulated, and she is always willing to offer wise advice, sweet encouragement, and an extra brain when it comes time to research. Honestly the only critique we can think to lob at Tara is that she’s too perfect – for real, try to think of a single moment during her entire arc when she bothered you. You can’t use the time Joss made her and Willow wear weird princess dresses during the musical because that wasn’t her fault. See?! She’s perfect and kickass. Also also also: she’s a gay lady – we love gay ladies!

Xena

Xena: Warrior Princess
xena

Xena was originally a character on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, but her spin-off show surpassed its dude-lead counterpart in both ratings and pop culture prominence. Xena is everything we could ask for – she’s confident, multifaceted, queer and can kick the asses of most gods. She has intense relationships with a whole bunch of female characters over the course of the show as friends, enemies, family and thinly-veiled lovers, flying in the face of the widely held belief that no one will watch a women-lead action show.

San

Princess Mononoke
san

San, in my opinion is without a doubt the most badass Disney Princess. She sucks a bullet straight from a giant wolf’s shoulder. She charges into battle armed with just a knife against people armed with guns and swords. She wasn’t just raised by wolves, she was raised by a Wolf Goddess. San is willing to do anything to protect her family and her home. She’ll fight tooth and nail for what she believes in, even if it means trying to single handedly stop a rampaging Boar Demon.

Brienne of Tarth

A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones
brienne

In a universe notorious for corruption, violence and greed, Brienne is the one true knight. She can’t technically become a knight because of the patriarchy, but she doesn’t care and earns a place in Renly’s Rainbow Guard anyways. She’s honourable, determined, street smart and doesn’t let men belittle her. Though her journey is closely intertwined with Jaime Lannister’s redemption arc, Brienne always has her own story and her own motivations. And she kicks his ass in a swordfight.

Echo

Dollhouse
echo

This show starts slowly, but once Echo’s character arc kicks in midway through the first season a really cool feminist narrative unfolds. Echo is trapped in a child-like state, controlled by the staff of an underground company who program volunteers to become various fantasies of rich clients. In her supposedly blank state, Echo develops self-awareness and rebels against the company. When their technology gets in the wrong hands and turns Los Angeles into an apocalyptic nightmare, Echo leads a band of guerrilla warriors to save the world from itself. The show never shies away from dealing with the misogyny and consent issues inherent in its premise, and Echo, Sierra and Adele always find a way to upset the order of the institutions trying to control and exploit them.

Ginny

Harry Potter
ginny

Ginny is fierce. She is the youngest and only girl in a large family of boys and she is totally awesome because of it. She always steps in to be at the front of the battles, even when she is told she is too young she manages to sneak in to lend a hand. She is one of the bravest/strongest characters in the series. She handles the love stuff with Harry in a mature and responsible way, she is helpful and insightful, and she knows exactly how to use a wand.

Faith

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
faith

Faith does everything we wanted to do high school – she skips school, has sex whenever she wants and rocks snakeskin bell-bottoms. Though she was introduced strictly as a foil to Buffy, Faith’s journey from teen bad girl to supervillain to stoic hero is one of the stand-out arcs of the series. Whether she’s picking fights with cops, possessing Buffy’s body or leading an army of fellow Slayers into battle, we always understand Faith’s motivations. While Faith has to make amends for her mistakes over the course of her redemption arc, she never apologizes for who she is. Faith’s as outspoken, confident and kinky after her heel-face turn as she ever was while evil.

Nani

Lilo and Stitch
nani

Nani holds it down. She’s recovering from the tragic loss of her parents, raising her little sister, and working full-time. Not only that, but she also has to deal with government agents and a whole mess of aliens trying to take away either her little sister or that sister’s pet and best friend. Nani is by far one of the best role models in any Disney film. She’s able to show the importance of family and love, and that when someone is a part of your family, you accept them for who they are and hold to them as tight as you can, no matter what.

Bo

Lost Girl
bo

Bo is the big-hearted, brave lead of Lost Girl who loves breaking rules. She refuses to align herself to a side in the ongoing magical war, chooses humans as best friends and lovers despite cultural stigma and makes no apologies for being bisexual. Bo and her bestie Kenzi handle monsters-of-the-week, doomed romances and the trials of being young and broke through humor and self-reliance. When it’s revealed that Bo is the prophecized savior of her people, she begrudgingly accepts her duty without ever compromising her morals, attitude or sex life.

Willow

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
willow

We had a hard time deciding whether or not to include Willow on this list because of that time she raped her girlfriend via magical mind-wiping, but the world is a complicated place and we think she still belongs here. Willow begins the show with little agency as the computer nerd everyone picks on at school with a hopeless crush on her best and only friend, but she soon proves herself critical to the Scoobies’ adventures thanks to her book smarts, loyalty, and growing magical prowess. In college, Willow forms more of an identity outside of the Scoobies, joining a Wicca group and beginning a secret relationship with another witch, and she asserts herself as much more than just Buffy’s sidekick. Though her buried self-hatred, need for control over her loved ones and arrogant overuse of magic eventually drive her to become evil and try to end the world, it’s hard not to cheer for her rises in confidence and power. Having Willow mess with the established order by magically imbuing thousands of potential Slayers with their superhero powers is a kickass final act for her story.

Kaede and Taisin

Huntress
kaede-taisin

We put these two together because they are both awesome heroines in their own right, but as a team they are unstoppable. Taisin has crazy magical sage powers and Kaede is fierce and kickass. They support each other through a journey to save the world. They share a unique mental bond, as well as having the complimentary skills to complete their mission, as well as fall deeply in love with one another.

Batwoman

batwoman

The first lesbian superhero with her own comic book, Batwoman is just as tough and fierce as any of her male counterparts. After being kicked out of the military for refusing to lie about who she is back when DADT was still in effect, she decided to become a vigilante in the most dangerous city in the DC universe. She teams up with the likes of Wonder Woman, The Question, her fellow members of the Bat Family and even the Justice League of America. She flirts with the Police Women who pull her over and looks great in a tux. She may share a name with Batman, but she is no sidekick.

Buffy

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
bo

For better or worse, women who kick ass on television will always be compared to Buffy Summers. Over seven seasons, Buffy takes on the patriarchy in many of its guises – she emancipates herself from the patronizing Watchers Council, fights demons posing as douchey frats guys and abusive boyfriends, slices a misogynistic preacher in half via crotch and always has a snappy retort and ass-kicking in store for vampires who underestimate her. The overarching theme of the loneliness Buffy faces as the only Slayer in the world comes to a satisfyingly feminist conclusion in the series finale when Buffy and Willow do a spell that shares Buffy’s power with thousands of girls around the world, creating a Slayer army.

Idol Worship: Ten(ish) Questions About Camp with Julie and Brandy

Welcome to Idol Worship, a biweekly devotional to whoever the fuck I’m into. This is a no-holds-barred lovefest for my favorite celebrities, rebels and biker chicks; women qualify for this column simply by changing my life and/or moving me deeply. This week I managed to get Julie and Brandy to answer some questions about camp for me as we all spent our last minutes at ground level, and it was sexy as fuck. Obviously.

Header by Rory Midhani

There are a few words that come to mind when one thinks of Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard. Some of you may think about the Hunger Games, Cloud Atlas, or any other movie shitty enough to be torn apart in their personal Box Office. Some of you may think, “damn how could two people on Earth be any hotter than those two?” But I will instead always wonder why they are so god damn nice.

They’re my favorites.

julie-brandy-pool

Julie and Brandy have given us all the pleasure of their company at the last two A-Camps, making rounds to talk to us and cover us in water (a lot of water). This A-Camp will be no different, with the two sexpots taking a spot among our star-studded lineup of talent (which technically doesn’t encompass one Brittani Nichols, but should, because that bitch is damn talented). Every camp, they fulfill their official duties of bringing Laughter and Lightness to the mountain, and every camp they fulfill their unofficial duties of ripping us out of our comfort zone, forcing us to laugh out of sheer terror and sexual desire and uncovering our greatest truths at Faggity Feud. (I have yet to forget about the time a random survey indicated that campers, as a whole, weren’t interested in threesomes. Y’all are weird.)

I also wait with expectant nerves to see whether or not Brandy gets blackout drunk on stage this year. I’m willing to gamble on this one.

julie & brandy hosting the talent show

julie & brandy hosting the talent show

Independently, Julie and Brandy each bring a touch of the Hollywood life to their mystic partnership. Julie Goldman, after all, is like a totally famous comedian in her own right who has been bringing executive lesbian realness to various parties, venues and unsuspecting family television screens for years. And Brandy is possibly the most adaptable commercial actress ever, playing a variety of roles that all involve shiny hair incredibly well. I know this because I once went through her video channel and watched every commercial she has ever been in. Even the Tropicana one.

But even though Julie and Brandy are stars in their own right, it’s fairly common greeting card knowledge that in life, it’s better together. And my lifelong principled liking of “chicks in twos” becomes further cemented with the various fruits of their partnership. Because though apart they may shine, together Julie and Brandy bring a warm glow to my entire life. Or maybe that’s the whiskey talking.

Julie and Brandy have been big pimpin’, giving advice to strangers as a career and getting deep into your box… office together for years now, and we all can’t get enough because we shouldn’t have to learn what enough is. There is no limit. The limit does not exist. At A-Camp that rule is generally applicable to everything from exposure to sunlight to exposure to other lesbians, though. But still. THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH JULIE OR BRANDY OR THE BOTH OF THEM COMBINED, THAT IS MY STORY I AM STICKING TO IT AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHO I AM.

And thus I asked Julie and Brandy ten-ish questions. About camp. For you! And for us all. And for my homies.

Here goes.

Idol Worship: Ten(ish) Questions with Julie and Brandy

julie-brandy-michfest

**Questions answered by Brandy, with Julie half-ass contributing as she drinks coffee and watches American Dad.**

How did you two become such a dynamic duo? Can you tell me your shared life story?

We met on a gay Rosie Cruise in March 2008. Julie was there performing with Logo’s Big Gay Sketch Show and I went as a guest of my former frenemy Nicol Paone, who was also a castmember of BGSS. Julie and I hung out a lot on that cruise and we had a ton of laughs. At that time, she lived in New York and I lived in LA and when the cruise was over, we really missed each other. Without getting too corny or LEZimental, we inspired each other creatively at a time when we were both sort of in a rut. We really wanted to work together, so we met up on both coasts and started writing. Our first script was a feature length lesbian romantic comedy called Nicest Thing. Less than a year later, we wrote a gay zombie horror comedy called Gay Baby Army. As we tried to sell those, we were hit with the cold hard reality that gay movies were not the thing. We went through a brief (but intense) mourning period for the future we would never have as queer comic scribes, and then we sold out and wrote a straight sitcom starring all men. It’s about a guy who comes home from a tour of duty in Afghanistan and goes to work as a TSA agent at the airport. It’s called In*Security. And it never sold either.

Can y’all also tell me a little bit about what brought you to comedy and what brought you to Autostraddle? What keeps you around this neck of the woods? (Aside from the Whiskey.) (By “neck of the woods” I mean “lesbian Internet.”)

Julie wants me to say, “Nothing brings you to comedy. So to speak. You’re either there or you’re not.” I guess she means, we were always funny and attracted to funny people so that’s why we are here. And that it wasn’t necessarily a choice. We were born this way. Now she wants me to say, “YES BITCHES, BRANDY WAS BORN THAT WAY.”

As for Autostraddle, it was destined in the stars, because Riese WAS ALSO ON THE GAY ROSIE CRUISE where Julie and I met!!! (What are the effing chances?????) Legend has it that Riese saw Julie do stand up on that cruise and thought she was hilarious.org, so when they launched Autostraddle several months later, she talked to her fellow Autostraddle founders and they reached out to Julie to feature her on newborn Autostraddle. After that, Julie knew she wanted to work with them, and we knew we wanted to do something together. So we reached out to Alex and Riese and they suggested we do a movie review/re-enactment type of show. And that’s how Julie & Brandy: In Your Box Office was born. We film it together in LA and then we send the footage to Riese who edits it.

As far as this neck of the woods… We continue to hang around because we love working together and we love working with Riese. That’s honestly the reason. Julie and I (and Riese) all do other things with other people, but this is the only place where we can all work together. With no boss. We’d work in this threesome for the rest of our lives. If only we could make some paper, booboo.

Julie – what do you do to prepare for stand-up? What’s your work process like when you’re gearing up for a new show?

Julie’s first response to this question was, “I stress out for hours upon hours and smoke a million cigarettes.” I read your question again and then said, “Um, I think she might mean what’s your writing process.” So, then she thought about it for a minute and said, “Usually I am moved to write something that angers, annoys or embarrasses me. Once something like that happens, I write all my feelings down unedited. It’s pages and pages of feelings and opinions and revenge plans. These feelings and opinions bring up more questions which I answer with more feelings. Then I’m left with all these pages of ramblings which I edit down into a semblance of a funny story with a point.” Then after that, I’m gonna assume she smokes a million cigarettes to prepare to talk about it live in front of live people who are alive.

Who are some of the funniest people on the planet? Who are the people who always make you laugh? Who are the people funnier, even, THAN YOU TWO?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say anyone who makes us laugh — we assume is funnier than us. Julie has a looser funny bone than I do. She can giggle for an hour straight just watching our dogs wrestle. She has the most infectious laugh in the entire world and she laughs all the time. That’s why I love being around her. I don’t laugh at much. I think lots of stuff that’s supposed to be funny is stupid. So, when I do laugh, I’m instantly a fan. A big fan.

My favorite (current) funny people are: Julie Goldman, Louis CK, Jonny McGovern, Amy Sedaris, Howard Stern, Katt Williams, Wendy Williams, Dane Cook, Maya Rudolph, Jack Black, Regina Hall, Leah Remini, Aidy Bryant, Michael K (from D-Listed) and Bevy Smith (from Fashion Queens on Bravo)

Julie’s favorite funny people are: Zach Galifinakis, Seth MacFarlane (only when he’s doing voices, not in real life), Michelle Balan, Jonny McGovern, Amy Sedaris, Wendy Williams, Jessica Kirson, Howard Stern, Mel Brooks, Jennifer Saunders, Eric Stonestreet, NeNe Leaks, Linda James, and Brandy Howard.

Conversely, please list the people you’re more funny than as well.

Listing people that we think “we are funnier than” just invites people to hate us and tell us how unfunny and untalented we are. We aren’t totally opposed to putting it all out there, but in the interest of avoiding hearing FAIL in all the comments – here are some people we just don’t think are funny. Ever.

Whitney Cummings, Ross Mathews, Sean Penn, Mindy Kaling, Bobby Moynihan (the current chubby guy on SnL), Marc Maron, the entire cast and writing staff of How I Met Your Mother (Including Neil Patrick Harris).

Who did you two vote for in the Autostraddle Hot 100 this year?

I can’t remember who we voted for. We usually just scroll through the pictures looking for Julie and anyone on the Autostraddle staff and then we vote for them. I can tell you who we DIDN’T VOTE FOR: we didn’t vote for anyone who made the top 10. Which is great because now we don’t have to feel stupid every time we see a picture of Amber Heard with Jonny Depp.

You’ve been trying to get the A-Campers wet for two rounds now. How excited are you to be hosting the pool party this time around? Any spoilers / reveals on what’s in store? Can I request that you play more Drake before it starts or no? What should I wear?

WE ARE SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THE POOL PARTIES!!!! We pitched the pool party idea to the Camp Bosses (Marni and Robin) a few months ago, hoping to add some more sexy fun to the mix. I am an amateur DJ and my low-level mixing skills are most appropriate when heard pool-side, so I try and bust them out whenever there is a pool in the vicinity. We spend most of the day drunk, so we aren’t allowed near panels or discussions of any kind. The pool was the perfect place to have our fun. I’m crossing my fingers that there isn’t some kind of bullshit “no nudity” rule in place, and that we will get to see some topless ladies having innocent sexy splashy fun. I will definitely play Drake for you in my DJ set at the pool party, but as far as Faggity Feud is concerned – Carly is the house DJ for that event and I will send her a formal Drake request on your behalf.

The only important spoiler for anyone to know is that this year I will not be black-out drunk during Faggity Feud. Or, I should say – I’m going to TRY not to be black out drunk, but the altitude mixed with insecurity is a heady combination.

As far as what you should wear… I vote for a see-through white bikini. At all times. And I like a naturalistic bush.

What would you say are the most important things to pack when preparing for A-Camp? What are you bringing to the mountain? Brandy, how do you keep your hair looking so shiny and soft in the woods?

Our packing list never changes, and I can tell you that BY FAR the most important things we bring are: an assortment of chips, an assortment of alcohol and an assortment of anxiety meds. Also: Gas X.

The way I keep my hair looking good in the woods is – I never wash it. Not once. No matter how many days camp is. In fact, I barely even shower while I’m there, cuz let’s be real: the shower is dirtier than my alcohol detox night sweats. But when I do shower, I use a shower cap, and dry shampoo.

(Julie wants you to know that she showers every day even though no one is looking at her hair.)

(I want you to know that I love her hair and was offended she didn’t make Autostraddle’s list of best queer hair people).

What are you words of wisdom to the weirdo queers out there trying to make it?

Julie’s first response to this question was “give up.” Mine was, “Think long and hard about the field you are trying to make it in and then go work at Trader Joes.”

But I guess our true advice is (coming from two people who have spent over a decade pursuing one thing): “Know that in 10 years, you are going to have a much different relationship with your hopes and dreams than you have now. Be open to changing your mind and changing your path. The pursuit of happiness is a tricky endeavor, and the way you get from point A to point B can be a long and winding road. Keep your eyes on the prize and eventually you’ll have what you want.”

Listling: 18 Things Found In The Wrong Places While Organizing A-Camp Supplies

1. Waiters wine bottle opener (first aid kit)

2. CoverGirl Liquiline Blast in purple, mine (first aid kit)

3. Setlist from “Bright Lights, Big Campground: An Evening With Haviland Stillwell” (High Tea supply box)

4. Handwritten sign that reads “I DID NOT PEE MYSELF” (general supply box)

5. Guitar tab for “Call Your Girlfriend” (general supply box)

6. Original poem written by an A-Camper (general crafting box)

7. Small water guns, green and purple (first aid kit)

8. Buttons, Thundercats cabin (Trader Joe’s bag)

9. American chocolates, assorted (Trader Joe’s bag)

10. Canadian chocolates, assorted (Trader Joe’s bag)

11. Boomerang, Runaways cabin (lip balm supply box)

12. Reasons you’re nervous to pick up on chicks, anonymously written on slips of paper (pen box)

13. Boxcutter, green, property of Trader Joe’s (library box)

14. Unopened package of plastic shot glasses (zine supply box)

15. Face paint sticks, used (library box)

16. Plastic pitcher, property Alpine Meadows Retreat (t-shirt stenciling supply box)

17. Makeup case used to hold tampons, mine (zine supply box)

18. Two battery-operated headlamps (makeup case used to hold tampons)

Campership Opportunity: Apply To Be Kreuzbach10’s Dapper A-Camper!

kreuzbach10

Back in November, Alex introduced you to the glory of Kreuzbach10 and encouraged you to support their indiegogo campaign, raving that “Anna Kunz, the very driven creator of this endeavor, is basically doing what I would do if I had the resources, time, or even remotely the amount of motivation that she does: masculine clothes that are made to fit women’s bodies.”

The campaign made their mark ($7,500) and then some ($14,825) and the clothes-making us underway and in the meantime, Anna Kunz wants to give back – to you!

Anna got in touch with us about sponsoring some lucky human’s trip to A-Camp, in the spirit of our general camperships. But you will be the official Kreuzbach10 Camper and will be gifted a Kreuzbach10 shirt, bow tie and hat!

What are you writing about? Well, here’s Anna:

I strongly see Kreuzbach10 as being about empowerment and hope. The name ‘Kreuzbach10’ actually comes from the street name of my family home in Germany. When my father was young, he and his brother and parents were displaced and made refugees twice in political turmoil, losing everything but the clothes on their backs. There was a bit of a saga, but the short version is that they rocked up in this little village, had people treat them with kindness and generosity, worked their butts off, and built this whole new life from absolutely nothing at all. By the time I was a child visiting from Australia my grandmother was a fat old lady eating strudel. Their ability to come so far, from having so little is something that inspires me.

I guess it’s quite similar to what you in the USA would call the ‘American Dream’ but repackaged with my Australian-European slant on it. Many queers face obstacles, and some are even reduced to literally nothing in either the social/emotional/economic spheres, but my idealistic vision behind the label is that enabling them to feel good about their physical expression of themselves can create a flow on to other areas of their lives, its the shirt that gives you the courage to join a social group, ask someone out, sell yourself in a job interview… possibilities are endless.

So that’s what we’d like to hear from you — how feeling good about your physical expression of yourself gave you the courage to move forward in some area of your life. You need not express yourself as masculine-of-center in order to apply for this campership! Just speak from your heart.

If you grant us permission, we’ll publish the winning essay and two others on Autostraddle. If you’d rather not have your essay shared, that’s okay, we’ll ask you for permission first, and we’ll do that after Anna has made her decision so it won’t impact your chances.

So here’s what you do:

+ Email your short essay to anna [at] kreuzbach10 [dot] com and cc riese [at] autostraddle [dot] com by Friday, February 15th.

+ Anna will read your essays and we will inform the winner by March 1st, 2013.

+ Any candidates must be totally cool and maybe even enthusiastic about appearing on the Kreuzbach10 website with a photograph of you wearing your duds at camp with maybe a little paragraph about you.

+ If Riese is interested in publishing your essay on the website just for kicks, she’ll get in touch with you at some point in March.

Happy camping/writing!!

Who Won the A-Camp May 2013 Skip The Waitlist Raffle?

Hey waitlisters! Waitlistees? Waiters? Remember last week when Riese asked all 300 (eeek! I know!) of you if you’d like a chance to skip the waitlist and go straight to A-Camp? Well, the tissue box has spoken and we’ve got our contest winners.

Are you excited? We’re excited! If your name has been called, email riese [at] autostraddle dot com and she’ll get you started processing your registration! Remember that you have to make a $50 non-refundable deposit when you register.

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Win a Chance To Skip The Waitlist For A-Camp May 2013!

a-camp-may-2013-logoHey queermos! I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but the waiting list for A-Camp May 2013 is pretty epic. In fact, 300 human beings are currently hanging out on that waitlist, and if you’re one of them, you probably wish you could mosey on up to the front of the line, dontcha? The good news is that we’re giving six new campers the chance to skip the waitlist and register now!

Who’s Eligible:

Human beings who have not attended A-Camp before AND added their names to the A-Camp waitlist before January 20th. In other words, this isn’t for people who read this post and THEN add themselves to the waitlist in order to enter the raffle. This is for people who have been waiting all this time, with your tired feet and exhausted snack-packs and heart full of longing, and then this post burst through the great blue nothing and illuminated the world for you.

How To Enter:

e-mail julia [at] autostraddle [dot] com and tell her your full name and the email address you used to sign up for the waitlist. The drawing will be held on video, which means your name will be announced on video [aka not google-searchable] but if you can’t have your real full name read out loud on video then let Julia know what we can say.

Timing:

Submit your ballot by Wednesday, January 23rd.

Winners will be announced on Monday, January 28th. We’ll follow up with you personally for the details on how to register. Remember that you have to make a $50 non-refundable deposit when you register.

you could be as happy as i am in this picture of waiting in line for ice cream circa 1987

you could be as happy as i am in my snazzy “10” tank top in this picture of a bunch of the kids in my neighborhood waiting in line for ice cream circa the summer of 1987


P.S. Inevitable Answers To Questions That Will Be Asked in the Comments Regardless of the Question’s Relevancy to This Post:

On camperships: We’ve got 76 campership applicants and seven camperships to give out! This is really hard for them to decide! If you’ve won a campership, you’ll be informed of this by the end of next week.

On the waitlist: It’s not as hopeless as it may feel — we usually get a lot of cancellations but not until closer to the start date, and lots of people invited in off the waitlist don’t accept the invite. So don’t lose hope altogether, regardless of your position. You can expect more cancellations to come in circa March 1st, which’s when everybody has to have already put down at least $100 towards their tuition (on top of the $50 non-refundable deposit fee), and more circa April 1st, when everybody’s full tuition is due.

A-Camp May 2013: Time To Donate And/Or Apply For Camperships!

Sometimes you wanna go to A-Camp but you just can’t afford it, and sometimes you don’t really want to go to A-Camp but totally could afford it, and if we mash both of those types of people together, we create a symbiotic relationship known as “the campership.” Although we have lots of good ideas around here, this particular idea just-so-happens to be yours.

This May, we’ll be heading up to the mountain with our largest group yet, accompanied by first-rate talent like Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard, Deanne Smith, Somer Bingham, Mollie Thomas, Haviland Stillwell, Sarah Croce & Ashley Reed as well as the entire Autostraddle Team. There will be workshops and panels and activities and lots of feelings, and to find out more about the experience you can read recaps from April 2012 and September 2012, and read the announcement post for May 2013 camp here.

May 2013 camp has been popular beyond our wildest dreams — we filled up in two days and have heaps of people on the waitlist, but we’re hoping to get enough donations to give out six camperships for May of $375 each (or $425 for campers who will need shuttles to/from the airport). You can donate to The Campership Fund here, and every little bit helps!:




If you donate a full $375 or $425 and would like to know more about the camper you’ve completely sponsored, email riese [at] autostraddle [dot] com and I’ll send you their application essay as soon as we know who it is you’re sending to the woods!

If you want to be considered for a campership, please email daniela [at] autostraddle [dot] com and tell us why you deserve it and what your plan would be to get your ass to camp. The only requirements are that you be a first-time A-Camper and are able to get there. Let us know if you’ll be requiring shuttles from LAX, though. Please submit your essay by January 16th.

Now it’s time to tug your heartstrings right out of your body with September’s winners! Because we picked the worst dates in the history of the world, we had lots of extra spots for September camp and lots of donations and therefore were able to grant camperships to ten lovely ladies who will now share their stories with you.


Amanda – 20 – Santa Clara, CAamanda-josie

Growing up, I never fit in at my small town public school. I was a total geek who escaped into a world of books and math to hide from the playground bullies and the girls who preferred chasing boys over talking about possibilities outside our small world.

There was only one place on earth where I felt like I could be myself: camp. My entire family for three generations had been on staff at this camp in the Appalachian mountains of Virginia, and it was the magical place where I could explore nature, myself, and how many times you can make someone laugh in a single day. Camp was home.

Then, the unthinkable happened. The summer I was 14, I was sexually assaulted at camp by a male friend. Camp stopped being home.

I retreated into a deadly cycle of negativity and spent years searching for a way to reclaim that sense of “home” that now seemed irrevocably out of reach. I ran away to college and thought that if I just focused hard enough at being “normal” then I could erase the hurt of losing camp. Eventually, I started to emerge from underneath the layers of hurt and confusion, and came out to myself. Coming out as a lesbian last year, at 19, to my family and at a Catholic school with a committed but still small LGBTQ community, was made more difficult by my status as a queer survivor. Friends and family reacted with “is this because of, you know, what happened to you?” because at least then there would be a reason that I’m this way.

“The one thing that I do know for certain is that A-Camp is the home that I have been searching for all along, and receiving a campership has changed my life forever.”

Discovering Autostraddle is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Seeing so many queer women kicking ass and inducing general hilarity all day long on the site, gave me hope that things would get better. So, when September A-Camp was announced, I knew that I’d give anything to be there. The moment I found out I got a campership, that I was actually going to this magical place called A-Camp, I did cartwheels down my dorm hallway and made a round of celebratory tea. From then on, my friends knew that just mentioning A-Camp would make me smile all day. I don’t know how I can ever truly thank the stranger that gave me such an incredible gift.

Any nervousness I had about going to a camp where I knew nobody vanished within the first few minutes. There’s nothing like being in the presence of 300 other amazing queer women to make you feel like you’re not alone in this. The stories, talents, and feelings shared at camp made me even more aware that everyone has things that make them feel small and isolated. A-Camp showed me that all it takes is understanding, laughter, and FUN, to create a safe space.

In a post-camp world, I’m still not sure how it’s possible that I made so many amazing friends in a single weekend (yeah Forever Snatch!). I don’t understand how I managed without the self- confidence and joy that I experienced at camp.

The one thing that I do know for certain is that A-Camp is the home that I have been searching for all along, and receiving a campership has changed my life forever.

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Gaela – 24 – San Francisco, CA

Rachel Walker - Laurie Montague - Gaela Solo 2Within the past year of living and transitioning in the San Francisco Bay Area, I’ve survived a two-month stay at a seedy hostel, an overwhelming and exhausting workplace, inconsiderate housemates, unsupportive parents, loneliness, hormones, chronic health problems, rock-bottom wages, and a persistent bundle of nerves.

Without a doubt, A-Camp is the single greatest thing that has entered my life. It was the bubble into which I could escape my daily BS for one hot second and reinvigorate myself in a heavenly bubble full of joy, booze, and altitude. I took a risk moving to SoCal on my own, but now I’m getting happier every day.

Never have I ever gone through so many feelings as I did at camp. I couldn’t live for a second without at least three feelings overcoming me: race/body feelings at the Women of Color Panel, feelings about my current job and future at the Design and Branding panel, and then the staff reading which gave me so many feelings I had to step out, swing, cry and run to my cabin to pluck the hell out of my eyebrows. Andrea Gibson inspired me to bare my soul at the Talent Show. So. much. Catharsis. Thank heavens for the on-site counselor Sara who helped me sort it all out. But aren’t the feelings a good sign that A-Camp was working wonders for me?

Honestly from the moment I signed up until the weekend before camp, I was worried I wouldn’t be accepted as a trans girl, but my best-a-girl-could-ask-for counselors Stef and Morgan dissipated my worries before I departed for the words. To my pleasant surprise, almost everyone I encountered at camp was warm or welcoming — I even thanked everybody for making a trans girl feel welcome at the Women of Color Panel.

For two years, Autostraddle has given me a vision of the woman I wanted to be and the life I wanted to lead, giving me the courage to come out and live on my own terms as a proud  Autostraddlin’ queer lesbian classy-bitch-femme transgender girl of color and badassery, still believe in the ‘Straddleverse. All things considered, I’ve been given everything I could possibly want: a community, an identity, a safe space, multiple role models, and the sexiest merchandise on the planet. Y’all are magic.

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Malene – 24 – Lexington KY

Julie Goldman w/Lanie

2011 was overwhelming — I lost my job, got my heart broken by a girl, dealt with some extremely uncomfortable family living situations and lost my father to bone cancer. So I moved an hour south and started building a lovely queer community for myself and worked full-time at two crappy food service jobs until, two weeks before April camp was announced, I started a new job. I didn’t have the time or the money, but I read the recamps and vowed to make it happen for the next camp. In September, I applied for a campership hoping they’d understand that three years of devoted readership helped me evolve and now I wanted desperately to meet them to be a part of it; of camp and of this community.

When I first got to camp I thought I was dreaming because people I’d only seen in avatar thumbnail versions were helping me carry my luggage and asking me about linens and signing me in, but by dinner I was a happy-in-the-moment camper.

Camp helped revive the parts of myself I’d hidden and been afraid of for a very long time. I’ve got a pretty strained relationship with my mother leading to a lot of self-loathing and, after a failed attempt at “curing my gay” I think we’ve just decided not to talk about it.

“I found my voice again at camp.”

At camp there is this understanding that we have each come to contribute to a positive experience. There is no feeling that we can’t share and have met with feelings of at the very least support and empathy. I don’t know if it is the altitude, or the choice, or the fact that we are all in some way little weirdos who share an interest in all the things girl-on-girl, but what happens there is magic.

I found my voice again at camp, I learned that I can be a homo and not feel as if I am the only one, I learned that I can have faith and love women and be okay. I learned that giant rainbow parachutes are still everything I’m about, sometimes I will be the only dancing strudel in the skit, you can crush your opponent with a photobomb, being afraid of everything is a part of being in your twenties, Canadians have better access to candy, women sharing laughter is my favorite sound and there is more to life than I will ever know or ever understand but choosing love is always a good answer. I came back a little taller and a whole lot smarter and possibly even braver. I will be back to camp because I left my heart on that mountain but I took away pieces of about 200 other hearts. Those women became and are my strength when the real world gets me down.

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Kaylah “Cupcake” – 21 – Kentucky

The moment that I received the email saying I was chosen for a Campership, I knew that my life was taking a turn for the better. I still remember the letter I sent in to Laneia/Riese on why I thought I  deserved a scholarship. With mentions of being in an abusive relationship, dealing with EDNOS, having body dysmorphia and living in a hick town, I was sure that I was a shoo-in for Lifetime Movie Networks most pathetic story of the year. After going to A-Camp 2.0 I can honestly say that all of my memories of camp overpower every dark period I’ve ever had in my life.

I had so much fun at camp thanks to my very attractive and rowdy cabin – Forever 21 and our allies in Snatch 22. Forever Snatch! On the morning of day three, I could tell that they had already changed me. I remember waking up and being told by my cabin mates that I looked beautiful, to which then I went to breakfast with a naked face and a head full of confidence.

Before A-Camp 2.0, I was drowning in all of the shit that had gone wrong in my life. I would sit in my dark room wearing a full face of makeup, and put off doing homework for the classes I was paying thousands for at school. A-Camp gave me the strength to leave my room, meet new people and to challenge myself when I’m feeling down. Receiving a scholarship and attending camp has been THE best thing to happen to me and I will never forget it.

The outside world thinks that Autostraddle Camp 2.0 was nothing but Whiskey, lube Twister, spin the bottle and wet t-shirts. For those of us who attended we know that it was/is SO MUCH MORE than that. So. Much. More.

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Marika – 25 – Mishawaka, INIMG_8268 marika kuspa

I’m a PhD student in a grueling program. I’ve been dealing with a lot of family and personal issues—I’ve essentially been disowned by my parents because my aunt outed me and it didn’t go so well. I also go to a fairly conservative Catholic university and unfortunately don’t get a lot of support from the queer community, as there isn’t a whole lot of queer community here. I’m lucky to have a lot of support from my siblings, but they are scattered across the country. To be honest, things have been a little rough lately.

So when I found out I received a campership for A-Camp September, I wouldn’t hesitate to call myself the happiest queer on earth! Camp was one of the best things that ever happened to me. My counselors were amazing (Morgan and I gave each other the world’s biggest hug at registration), my cabinmates were perfect, and even though I got approximately zero sleep and came down with Battlestar plague, camp still managed to be one of the most rejuvenating experiences of my life. I loved every single second of it.

My favorite part of camp was experiencing the vibrant queer community that I had only previously seen hints of. I met so many amazing people in real life who had only been (usually really inspiring) words on a screen to me before. Riese even asked me to explain my food allergies at tea one day. I can’t believe people remember things like that! If you think the Autostraddle staff is awesome on the internet, I can promise they are infinitely more amazing in real life.

spooning workshop after-party

spooning workshop after-party

One of the most touching parts of camp, to me, is when my cabinmate got sick—Jules was the originator of Battlestar plague. Not only did our cabinmates and counselors band together to move their things to a lodge that was less musty and damp, but the staff came by bearing everything you could think of. Tea, meds, extra blankets, and general love.

I basically just have so many feelings about camp that can’t be spelled out easily, so here are some of the highlights that run through my mind when I think about it:

Standing under the stars on the mountains in the middle of the night, talking about the cosmos.

My cabinmate very politely asking if everyone in the cabin consented to poetry.

Massive cuddle puddles and spoon trains.

Being a part of the very best colors wars team: Team polite!

Discussing gluten free tortillas and baking mixes with Zeller and Hansen on the swings, while drinking tea.

Hammock snuggles with as many girls as I could. (Four. At separate times.)

Midnight poetry readings and ukulele singalongs with a bag of wine.

Making not impressed faces with the medals campers had won on various occasions.

Morgan fetching me a cup of hard boiled eggs from the salad bar when I was hangry and allergic to the entrée on the very first night.

The amazing talent show—I was so impressed with the art on display.

Cross-stitching for the first time since I was a single digit.

Most of all, just experiencing the great community of people at camp! I made so many friends that I keep in contact with, and I was actually lucky enough to meet someone at camp who still makes me smile every day. For me, camp was a formative experience because I gained a lot of self confidence from being in a safe space. I’m so grateful for the opportunity I was given to go to camp, and it has made my life so much better.

 


Courey – 31 – Augusta, GAphotobooth 0038

I know you guys understand that the path to figuring out who you are isn’t always easy. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom with nothing left to start putting your life back together healthily, and sometimes you’re so exhausted that you just wanna sit down and quit but you can’t. That’s where I was when I applied for a campership. I’d made a series of really hard (but good) decisions that turned my life to chaos temporarily, but were ultimately the best choices I could have made for the future. On the tail of this upheavel came an email… I had actually won a campership.

Now, this was an eventuality that I hadn’t actually planned for. I had to read the email a few times before it sunk in that I was going. Suddenly I had something fun on the horizon to look forward to, a promise of something amazing to remember when shit got real. Winning a campership was worth that blessing alone.

“Things began clicking along and I felt that it was this experience I had just had that finally pushed me over the edge and gave me the confidence to not only know what I need, want, and deserve, but to also make it happen.”

One thing that really stuck out to me in the beginning was all the people that had gone to the first camp saying, “Camp changes your life. It leads to big feelings that lead to lots of processing.” I guess I didn’t believe them, or maybe I just thought, “meh, I don’t do big feelings, I’ll be safe from that.” It turns out that those ladies were so very right. Even avoiding anything that could evoke big feelings and just letting myself have fun, it all crept into my heart when I wasn’t looking. It wasn’t until the last day, as I got to watch while one by one my new friends packed up and returned to their corner of the earth, that I realized how much camp had actually meant to me. I thought maybe these were the big feelings that everyone kept talking about. I was sad to go, but also so happy to have all these wonderful new memories to cherish.

About two or three days after I got home I had mastered the ability to relate every topic in life back to camp. Things began clicking along and I felt that it was this experience I had just had that finally pushed me over the edge and gave me the confidence to not only know what I need, want, and deserve, but to also make it happen. Those parts of me had been dormant for so long I thought they were unwakable. This was the greatest gift I got from camp, this rapid thawing out of my heart and feelings.

The person who walked into that dining room full of dykes and had to refrain from fleeing is not the same person that got back on the plane home. Somewhere on a dusty mountain in California is the memory of who I was, and in its place I brought back lifelong friends. Thank you ladies for every second of it.


Nia  – 22 – Atlanta, GA

To say that my time at A-Camp was the most fulfilling time of my life would be an understatement. I applied for campership at the last minute, sure that more deserving people would wind up winning. The reply from Autostraddle was short; it basically said, “Pack your bags, you’re going to camp!” I was a mumbling mess, I danced in my room to no music; the song was in my heart. There were a million thoughts in my head. How would I afford a plane ticket? What should I wear? Will I even fit in? I decided not to stress. Since it had already worked out in a huge way, the small details would fall into place naturally.

Though I missed most of the first day, the evening festivities were pretty sweet and featured some of my favorite celesbians, Julie and Brandy. The Color War battles really brought our cabin together. A little friendly competition goes a long way.

As we settled into the activities of the next day, the reason why I loved reading Autostraddle became crystal clear — the writers and readers all have a mutual understanding of something almost intangible: acceptance. No matter our differences, no matter our skin colors and hair styles and hobbies and styles of dress, we all needed and wanted love and happiness. We wanted to be heard and to hear in return, we wanted to create a safe space for each other to share and learn and question and create anew. When we sat down for panels or discussions, there was rarely ever any tension. Lesbian, bisexual, trans* and genderqueer and whatever terms or non-terms we used, we all strived to respect each other’s opinion and interpretation. When we danced and partied and drank and got naked (maybe that was just SNATCH!), we got down together, we encouraged each other to let loose because what the hell? Why not?

So I acted out a little bit at A-Camp. I was more outspoken, more myself because I was free to do so. I got my boobs signed and I hugged Hannah Hart and I told some of my secrets and I cried with strangers and I crushed on sexy counselors and I contacted so many like-minded souls my head spun. But most of all, I had a ton of fun. So thanks to everyone that helped me get there. Thanks to everyone that helps this to continue. You are all beautiful. Peace and love.

snatches on a log


E. – 34 – Toronto

I grew up in a religious family in a small Canadian town where I was taught that being gay was wrong, something only sick and confused people would “choose.” I was brainwashed to hate myself from a very early age and was so scared of being found out, shamed and embarrassed. I felt guilty about my boyfriend who I’d been living with for 6.5 years. How’d I get into this situation, why’d I let it go on for so long?

This summer, in the span of about three weeks, I turned 34, lost my job, and broke up with my boyfriend — losing my place to live and a good chunk of my friends in the process. I lost all stability and didn’t know what would happen next. Around this time, A-Camp registration opened. I’d read the recaps and it sounded like so much fun! But plane tickets from Canada are expensive when you’re piecing your life back together, so I asked for help and some gay angel(s) gave me a campership.

“The most important thing I took away from camp was an idea I heard at the Coming Out Panel… I’d never heard it described in that way before and it was an “A-ha” moment for me.”

I was looking for acceptance and community and I found it in spades. I got to run around in the woods and play games, hear a million interesting stories from a million adorable people, drink my face off, eat smores, and act like a big kid. I got really attached to my cabin mates after only a couple days (shout out to the best cabin at camp: GOLDEN GIRLS!!!), and I hope I can go back in May and see them all again. I was able to relax and be myself for the first time in a long time, and it felt really good.

I think the single most important thing I took away from camp was an idea I heard at the Coming Out panel. Someone said that if you come out to someone and they reject you, it’s on them not you, and it’s not your fault. They were making the decision to not be a part of your life and they would miss out on all the great things that were going to happen to you when you decided to be true to yourself and live honestly. It was about being proud of yourself, but more importantly, not apologizing for who you were. I had never heard coming out described in that way before and it was an “A-ha” moment for me. I’ve thought a lot about that talk since I’ve been home and slowly adopted it as my own way of thinking. I came out to my parents yesterday, and although it didn’t go well, I was prepared. I didn’t apologize, and i stood up for myself, and I know that it would have went much differently if I hadn’t heard that discussion (Thank you Robin!).

A-Camp is so fucking awesome for so many reasons. Thank you so much to everyone who donated. It really does mean a lot.


Change somebody’s life and donate to the Autostraddle Campership Fund today! We’ll be taking donations and campership applications until January 16th!




Introducing Camp Autostraddle May 2013: Registration Is Way Open

Once upon a time we had a dream. It involved a couple hundred of you, 35 of us, a group retreat site in the San Bernadino Mountains and a weekend packed with workshops, panels, activities and performances designed to inspire, educate, entertain and/or make you laugh — basically, it was the spirit of this website manifested in three entire dimensions. We wanted to create a special (and affordable!) space where you could be yourself, enhance your relationships within the international queer community, support Autostraddle and make new friends forever.

It was a dream called A-Camp, and it was a dream that came true the last weekend of April, 2012. We did it again in September 2012, and it was even more amazing than the first time.

Obviously, we’re doing it again.

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Details

When:

Thursday May 23rd – Monday May 27th, 2013+

Where:

Alpine Meadows Retreat Center in Angelus Oaks, California. It’s 1.5 hours from Palm Springs, 2 hours from Los Angeles, 2.5 hours from San Diego, 4 hours from Las Vegas, 5 hours from Phoenix and 8 hours from San Francisco. We’ll be running shuttles from LAX to the campsite from 10 AM to 3PM on May 23rd and shuttles back to LAX from 8AM ’til 11AM on May 27th.

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Who:

You weirdos! Anyone over the age of 18 is welcome — in September, our campers ranged in age from 18 to 50 and came from all over the world, including lots of Canadians and quite a few Australians and United Kingdomers. Half our campers were over 25 and half were under. About 30% of our campers were returning and 70% were new.

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Lodging:

You’ll be having the bestest biggest surprise slumber party of your life in fully insulated, carpeted & heated cabins with private bathroom/showers/baths and generously-sized bunk beds. You’ll be sharing these cabins with somewhere between 10 and 17 others, led by two counsellors from Team Autostraddle. Cabin groups are designed with your needs in mind (we meet all roommate requests!).

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How:

Tuition is $375 and is all-inclusive. No extra fees.

Just $50 down reserves your spot!

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Your tuition includes:

  • Four nights lodging (linens included)
  • Three meals a day with snacks – and this time we’ll be working with the chef to design a menu and options catered specifically for our group, and there are vegetarian, vegan & gluten-free options
  • Full access to a variety of activities, workshops, panels, sports and arts & crafts. You’ll also have the option to get fun one-on-one stuff like an Alternative Lifestyle Haircut or an Individual Style Consultation, all included!
  • Kickass Tote Bag packed with amazing things such as an awesome A-Camp T-Shirt !

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What the hell goes on at A-Camp?

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For more information about what goes on at A-Camp, you can check out our recaps from April and September’s camp  and testimonies from campers about the joy of the experience. Keep in mind that this time around, things will be even more awesome.

A-Camp Daytime

Days at A-Camp are spent participating in a variety of programming options offered by the Autostraddle Team and special guests — Color Wars! Gender Panel! How To Pick Up Chicks! Morning Hike! Coming Out Panel! DIY Home Projects! Trans* Discussion Group! Meet & Geek! The Truth About Cats and Dogs! Lesbian Jeopardy! The Sex Panel! Free Swim! There’ll be lots of new stuff this time and we’ll be following through on your requests for things like a Bisexuality Panel, a Kink Panel and more interactive workshops. There’ll also be a Quiet Room for people to decompress and enjoy the Camp Autostraddle Library.

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A-Camp After Dark

Every night offers plenty of opportunities for fun-fun-fun! Every camp opens with an all-camp campfire hosted by Julie Goldman and closes with an all-camp Talent Show and Dance With DJ Carlytron. In September, we enjoyed a wet/riotous game of Faggity Feud With Julie & Brandy, hosted a Staff Reading (our most well-loved event/activity in the history of camp) which will become a new A-Camp tradition. Other evening activities have included Hav & The Hav-Nots (a musical performance from Haviland Stillwell and the A-Camp Band), all-camp wide games and S’Mores. May Camp will definitely feature a Julie & Brandy Game Showstand-up from DeAnne Smith and will probably feature my personal fantasy Evening of Lesbian Folk-Rock Music starring Julie Goldman, Somer, Marni, Haviland and other talented teamsters! Much more TBA! (And for night owls, revelry continues all night long in various lodges.)

The Talent

We like to bring smart talented lesbians with lots of shit going on to entertain, educate, and hang out with you. They come because they believe in Autostraddle and A-Camp and we’re really excited about our Talent Roster (so far!) this time:

Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard – You know Julie & Brandy from their hit Autostraddle webseries In Your Box Office, but that’s not all the duo does together — they’re staff writers for E! Fashion Police WIth Joan Rivers, are regular guests on The Gay Pimpin’ Podcast. Julie Goldman is a world-renowned lesbian comedian and star of the former Logo TV program TThe Big Gay Sketch Show, and has also appeared in Bones, DTLA, The Sopranos, The New Normal, Weeds and Best Friends Forever. Brandy Howard has appeared in 56 beer commercials, as well as Untold, Ditching Party, Just Shoot Me! and It’s Like, You Know.

DeAnne Smith – DeAnne blogs for Autostraddle, but mostly she’s known for her hiLARIOUS stand-up and prolific career as a comic. DeAnne has appeared on Last Coming Standing, Good News Week, Canada’s The Comedy Network, HBO Canada and has won and been nominated for heaps of awards all over the world, such as the Sydney Comedy Festival’s Time Out Best Newcomer and the Barry Award at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Somer Bingham – You know Somer from the terrifying Showtime reality series The Real L Word, throughout which Somer remained a low-key down-to-earth human amid a gaggle of oversexed lesbians, but if you really wanna get real you’ve gotta read our amazing interview with her. Somer hosted SOMER FRIDAYS for Showtime with her wife Donna and heads up Clinical Trials, a “thrashy all-female electro grunge rock [band] with a side of angst.”

The cast of Unicorn Plan-It – You know the ladies of Autostraddle’s hit webseries Unicorn Plan-It — Haviland Stillwell is an actress & singer (her first album “How I Role,” debuted in 2009), who appeared on Broadway in Fiddler On The Roof and Les Miserables and onscreen in Single LadiesThe Client List, CSI: New York and Eastwick; among others. Ashley Reed is a screenwriter/producer & playwright and Sarah Croce (Miss April 2011) is an actress, producer & editor you may have seen in Levi’s Jeans Commercials, Flick’s Chicks, Girl Talk, GO Mag’s Red Carpet or The Real L Word Parody.

Mollie Thomas – 2013 Autostraddle Calendar Girl Mollie Thomas was the first openly gay woman running for Miss California USA. Mollie taught a pole-dancing class at September Camp and is very active in Animal Rescue and animal rights work!

 

How Is This Camp Not Like All Other Camps?

If you’ve been to camp before, rest assured that in May 2013, we’ll be blowing your minds with heaps of new activities and scheduling that offers a little more breathing room. In addition to returning (but reworked) classics like The Gender Panel, we’ll be rolling out a series of more tightly-focused activities that really utilize the talent and expertise of our staff. We can’t wait to see what our new team members come up with!

We put a new twist on the experience every time (and get progressively more organized), so the only way to know the whole story is to come to camp, obvs.

Okay, I’m in. What Now?

If you wanna get on the saddle and trot on over to A-Camp with us this spring, here’s what you’ve gotta do:

1. For the low low price of a $50 non-refundable deposit, you can snag your spot for the spring festivities. Please read the instructions at the top of each registration interface page if anything seems remotely complicated.

2. When registration fills up, you can put yourself on the waitlist. Be sure to put an e-mail address you check regularly & often, so you don’t miss our note if you’re up!

3. If you’re driving in on Thursday, please plan to arrive between 12:00 noon and 5:30 PM. On Monday, please plan to leave by noon.

4. If you’re looking for flights and will need transportation from the airport, then please book your incoming flights for Thursday, May 23rd to get in by 2 PM at the latest. (E-mail camp [at] autostraddle [dot] com to make arrangements for later flights.) Camp officially begins at 6 PM. There will be activities going on throughout the afternoon, but mostly we want to allow you time to get settled in before your counsellors take you into the woods and brand you for life while howling at the moon.

If you’ll need transportation to the airport on Monday, May 27th, there will be busses leaving at 8, 10 and 11, so don’t book a flight that leaves any earlier than 1PM.

5. If you need to cancel, you can just log back in to the registration interface and cancel!

Notes on Payments and Payment Plan

In the past, we’ve offered a Payment Plan, but we’re not doing that this time — BUT DO NOT DESPAIR! Although most vacations require their entire tuition upfront, we’re giving you five months before the tuition payment deadline. The registration system allows for partial payments, so you can create-your-own payment plan — all we ask is that you put down at least $100 towards your tuition by March 1st and pay all your tuition by April 1st. If those deadlines don’t work for you, just email us and we can work something out! We’re real people, know money can be tight, and will do everything we can to work with you to get you there. We’re super flexible as long as you communicate with us.

The reason for those deadlines (and part of the reason we’re abandoning payment plans) is a chronic problem we’ve had with people signing up for camp, putting down a deposit and holding that spot for months without making more than one payment, then often finally canceling when it’s too late for us to fill the spot. Coordinating payment plans and chasing people down has evolved into a nightmare and we bit off more than we could chew. We ended up with quite a few empty spots at last camp due to various problems with abandoned payment plans and non-responsiveness — and because the camp gets final numbers from us six weeks before you arrive, we also ended up at both camps paying the camp for campers who never paid us or showed up. We have to simplify that process this time for mutual sanity, and so we are!

FAQ:

Q: How do you win camp?

Q: I’m really super poor but I want to go so bad!
A: Firstly, this is a once-in-a-lifetime Utopia-esque situation, I recommend getting your emergency funds out. But we get that hard times are here for some of you, and that’s why we’re giving you five months after putting down your deposit to come up with the money.

Q: I’m still too poor.
A: We do give out between 5-8 camperships (based on space and the amount of campership donations) per session. To apply, campers submit essays explaining why they deserve to get a campership. Please note that we get heaps more applicants than we have camperships. There will be a post about this soon.

Q: Is there Wi-Fi?
A: NOPE! I know it’s scary!

Q: Will there be any free time?
A: Yup! I mean you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and we’ll be adding more free/flexible time this camp. Go read by the river or go videotape your friend hiding in a tree like a monkey or just lie on the grass or in your bed. You can do whatever you wanna do, you’re a grown-up!

Q: What’s the deal with alcohol?
A: Drinking isn’t part of any A-Camp activities and we do not serve alcohol. But if you’re over 21 and wish to drink at camp, you have to bring your own alcohol, put your name on it, and store it in one of our designated lodges (food/drink are prohibited in cabins because of bears) where you can access it whenever you want. We’ll be providing a “substance-free cabin” option for anyone over 21 who would prefer to room with other abstainers, as well as designated substance-free evening programming/space.

Q: Can I work at camp?
A: No, our camp is staffed entirely in-house. But if you’re coming to camp already and you’ve got a special skill/talent and would like to propose a workshop, email marni [at] autostraddle [dot] com and robin [at] autostraddle [dot] com.

Q: Are there extra charges for anything?
A: If you need a shuttle to or from LAX, it’s $25 each way. Everything else is included. Depending on demand, we may offer a ropes course option at $20 for each attendant.

Q: Me and my girlfriend/all my friends want to go together, can we stay in the same cabin?
A: Yes.

Q:  I can’t come to camp but would like to help somebody else get there, can I do that?
A: Absolutely! We’ll have a post up in the next month or so about how to help send somebody else to camp via the Power of Magic Camperships.

Q: When are you doing an East Coast camp?
A: I know this seems like SUCH a good idea! But for a zillion reasons including a shorter off-season and the fact that most of our team lives on the West Coast, this simply isn’t affordable or logistically possible for us right now — and in turn, for you. This is something we hope to do in the future but we’re not sure when that will be yet, so don’t hold your breath. However, it’s worth noting that we picked a site near LA because it’s one of the cheapest airports to fly into in the country.

Q: What about A-Camp in CANADA?!
A: The expenses required to put on A-Camp in any other country would drive your cost to about $2,000 for a weekend, and that’s before plane tickets, passport fees, etc. If we ever do an international A-Camp, it would be years from now.

Q: When is the next camp after this camp?
A: We’re not 100% positive yet, but it will probably be in October at the same site.

Q: Who should I email with my pressing question?
A: Camp directors Marni [marni at autostraddle dot com] and Robin [robin at autostraddle dot com]

Q: What’s that link again?
A: Here it is!

Q: Anything else?
A: Please we beggeth of you from the deepest depths of your beating heart, to make sure we have an email address for you that you check often. We will be sending you updates via e-mail and it’s imperative that you receive and respond!

Register Now!