Keep on Fighting to Remember That Nothing is Lost in the End
Thomas has caught Karen loitering outside Naomi’s house. Karen explains that she thought Freddie might be hiding out there, which isn’t totally absurd. Everyone else is.
I Go to Bed Early and He Parties All Night And Sometimes Never Comes Home
Karen tells Thomas that she doesn’t fit in there – meaning with the Skins gang – because they like drugs & sex and she likes all the wrong things. These things include:
You know. Gossip Girl, Davina, Dick Van Dyke, Lady And The Tramp, Hannah Montana, monster trucks, Dancing On Ice, mojitos, Rio Ferdinand, Marsala Zone, Pop Tarts, Jude Law’s accent in Cold Mountain, hair straighteners, Love Actually, Kylie, Whitney, Britney, Robbie, Brucie, L’Oreal, Wild At Heart, milk, comic relief, ponies, Posh, Becks, pecs, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and heavy petting.
Clearly Karen belongs in America, but um, this is totally out of the blue and irrelevant, right? She’s searching for her brother, not for a new group of friends. Anyhoo. It’s a cute & funny moment, but decidedly random, which is item #43 this episode has in common with Episode 608 of The L Word.
I thought there was a possibility that Skins might bump Karen up into a lead role for the next generation, like they did with Effy, which is the only explanation for all this random character development.
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Thanks For Raiding Chico’s With Me This Morning, I Love the Bracelet
On the way home from Effy’s hospital, Panda confirms that due to Thomas’ philandering ways, her heart has been smashed into a thousand pieces. Katie tells Panda that Thomas has offered to give Katie some French lessons – part of a scheme to make Panda jealous and want him back. Genius.
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Fun Home
At The Fun Home, the gang are sitting in silence and staring awkwardly at the floor. Well all except Naomi, who’s high and persuading everyone to drink cocktails called ‘ballbreakers’. Yes please.
There’s a lot of liquor in her hands but not nearly enough to make the mood here bearable. No-one wants any alcohol. Not surprising, with Arcia, Mandy and Baby Albert in attendance, Naomi’s living room right now is a cautionary tale for teens who act out.
Go Back to Wet Seal and Get Your Commission Little Lady
Naomi calls Arcia “Effy” by mistake. Crystal found this really funny. Cook didn’t, but the incident did cause him to take a good look at the girl and suddenly the penny drops, he realises what he’s done. As he shoos her out of the house, she reminds him that they were going to go and get piercings together. Guess she’ll have to go stick a safety pin through her clitoris all by herself.
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Don’t You Think It’s Weird That Your Friend Was Murdered with a Baseball Bat?
Karen goes to see if Cook’s okay/tell him to stop being such a tit. When they’re outside she shares her concerns about Freddie, including the one where she doesn’t think he ran away.
Cook: Look Karen I’ve asked around, there is no sign of Freds. He’s legged it, that’s all there is.
Karen: You owe him, Cook. When you ran off last year, who came looking for you?
Cook: That’s only because I took his girl with me now isn’t it –
Well, sorta, ’cause she called Cook for him. Anyhow, Karen slaps Cook in the face and calls him a stupid bastard, telling him that he’s better find Freddie.
Karen: No-one loves him like I do, not even that crazy bitch Effy. He’s all I’ve got. God knows he’s all you’ve got.
Karen slams Freddie’s notebook against Cook’s chest and tells him to read it. He says there’s nothing wrong, but she’s so concerned & desperate for help that she says she’ll give him a blow job every day for a year, if that’s all he cares about.
Cook: You’ve got me wrong, Karen.
Karen: Show me.
The Truth Comes Out: Freddie Doesn’t Know Very Many Words
Inside the notebook, Freddie’s filled every page by writing “I love her” over and over again. Maybe he was a budding lyricist, the next Taylor Swift or Whitney Houston.
See Karen’s right, there’s no way that Freddie could have run away because he loves her, and we all know love has never been a factor in anyone running away from anyone, particularly not in this show.
Also? Also. Also. I Love Her!!
Cook starts crying. He says, “So do I, Fred. So do I.”
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You Know, Partying is The Only Thing You Guys Were Ever Good At, Too
Naomi is having a party of one to 80’s jams while everyone else sits around silently.
Can we talk about why Mandy is still in the house!? Awkward. Is she hoping that Emily will suddenly leap up and tear her clothes off and make wild love to her in front of Naomi?
Bizarre Love Triangle
Naomi can’t understand why everyone is being so goddamn depressed. After all, she had eggs & spliffs for breakfast and she feels like a magical fairy! Naomi wants to dance! Dance Dance Revolution! Hey! Mandy wants to dance too! Mandy is gonna be carefree and touch Naomi inappropriately! Maybe it’ll make Emily jealous! Will Emily get jealous of the wrong person? Or the right person?
Naomi gets so into the music that she begins confessing all her feelings.
Naomi: We have problems, me and Emsy, because I was bad and — that right, Ems? [Emily looks away] See! I’m forgiven! It’s just been heaven these last months. Fucking heaven!
Me, Lesbian. Me Like These. Mmm. Boobs.
Emily is a little upset about her girlfriend confiding in her mistress and so she jets, leaving Naomi and Mandy alone. Mandy runs her hand across Naomi’s rack and starts confiding too –
Mandy: Naomi, if you don’t want her – I do.
Oh in that case I WANT TO SLAP YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE
It takes a few seconds to put the pieces together, but she does and she slaps her. Mandy runs out of the house. Thank G-d, one unlikeable new character to go, one still roaming the halls with a baseball bat.
Hard-Hearted Don’t Worry I’m Ready For a Fight
Maybe Emily was listening on or maybe she wasn’t, but nonetheless she’s in the other room crying.
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I Listen In You Should Know This
In another part of Naomi’s extremely large house, Thomas and Katie’s French lesson is well underway. Thomas is just teaching her naughty words while Pandora sits outside listening in. They don’t know that she knows French.
Like A, like C on your transcript
Pandora pulls out her academic transcript to show the audience that she got straight As in her final exams, and one of them was in French. Skins want us to believe that despite her announcing to the group last week that she got C grades, Pandora is really a secret genius. And none of her friends ever noticed. Just like Freddie’s dead bloody body, we will not speak of Pandora’s Cs.
Like the Movie French Kiss Starring Meg Ryan as The Character Meg Ryan Always Plays
Pandora gets sad and leaves, which is just as well because French led to frenching. Katie almost seems like she realizes that she has feelings for Thomas and she pulls away out of shock, guilt, or maybe even realizing that these things don’t really tend to work out her way?
Thomas: You are beautiful Katie, in so many ways. But I can’t stop loving her.
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Sleeping Inches From Me, I Don’t Let it Pass
It’s a brand new day and this time Emily wakes up beside the right woman, who is already awake and waiting for her.
Emily: I love you.
Naomi: Don’t lie.
Eh, I think Naomi’s being overdramatic/frightened. She gets out of bed, pulls on a t-shirt and tells Emily that her Mom’s returning next week, so maybe it’s time that Emily moves out.
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