This week we watched an entire thirteen minutes and forty-seven seconds of Skins before turning to drugs, which means everything the Parents Television Council was worried about is true.
Without a doubt, however, the most unrealistic aspect of this week’s episode is that on a random weeknight, there just-so-happens to be a hoppin’ lesbian club night that lets in 16-year olds within walking/bussing distance of Tea’s house. I mean they take ten busses and a hydroplane to get to school and it’s only a hop/skip/jump to pussy palace?
We open in Lesbian Cruising Spot #1 — NOT THE PLANET THE PLANET ISN’T REAL — History class! Is this what happens in high school these days, children? Is it?
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Tea invites Betty to join her at Lesbian Club Night in Fantasyland via mysterious table-dropped note which reads “Northern Soul.”
Tea roars sexily through her busybusy life, surrounded by noise and chaos, eventually escaping into the dear refuge of her bedroom where we can watch her undress and check out her literary tattoo:
Tea’s got her lesbo-jeans, lesbo-shoes and GLITTER SHIRT on, as well as a giant coat that is not fucking around. IT’S TIME TO MEET THE LADIES
But This ID Says “Maxxie Oliver”?
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No lesbian bar would ever be named Northern Soul, it would be named “Lick” or something. Which is the name of an actual lesbian bar in Vancouver. This is how we prevent anyone wandering into Meow Mix looking for Monday Night Football or e-harmony speed-dating.
Tea’s confident and demurely plucky, like a girl with a lot going on in her head and no suitable receptacle for her feelings. Thus she saunters confidently towards the Lordess of the Dance.
Someone Get That Girl a Blog
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Also? Tea’s got this little dance she does that makes you want to cuddlefuck the hell out of her glittershirt and Chucks.
Betty, dressed like her namesake from the Archie comic books, arrives, as promised…
I See What You’re Doing With That Bra and That Tank Top And I Like It
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Before long, Tea and Betty begin Lesbian Kissing each other in a way that suggests they will soon be Lesbian Vadgeblasting. Get your gas mask on, the apocalypse is nigh.
Betty, just like Showtime, has NO LIMITS and before long she’s back at Tea’s casa, clam-diving in what could not possibly be A DARKER ROOM UNSUITABLE FOR SCREENSHOTS.
According to our chart…
Yes. They had sex.
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This was not Palex sex…
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…or Spashley sex…
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…or Emya sex…
I mean, people definitely went down on each other. Just saying.
Already sleeping naked together, at such a young age.
The next morning Betty puts that godawful dress back on and trods downstairs into the madhouse that is Tea’s family, which is when we meet NANA THE SURPRISE STAR OF THE SHOW:
As Betty’s being awkwardly introduced and spoken to by everyone in the room because Tea’s Dad knows her boyfriend or something, suddenly, Tea’s brother calls out LOOK IT’S THE LESBIAN…
…and Mom says we can’t use that word here you know how Grandma hates it and the Dad says what word and Mom says “The L Word” and who can’t relate to that, right? I mean, who killed Jenny = so dumb.
The one in leather or the one in plaid, you decide
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But they’re talking about Daisy, who’s not a lesbian. She doesn’t even have a personality yet, let alone a sexuality. Duh.
Dad jokes that Tea is very “open-minded” and Daisy wonders out loud if Tea will ever tell her family that Daisy isn’t the fingerblaster here. Then Betty has her requisite morning-after freakout —
Betty: “So look, I don’t want — you better not tell anyone about — just — DON’T.”
Daisy: “Uh, you might wanna work out an explanation for those hickeys, though.”
Betty: “Shit, Bobby’s gonna — SHIT. I’ll see you.”
Tea: “Sure.”
[Tea leans in to kiss her]
Betty: “DON’T. For Chrissakes.”
Tea: “Scaredy cat.”
Tea describes her night of passion to Daisy as ‘alright’ with ‘a lot of licking.’ How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop/Tea’s heart? Time will tell!
Oh but first it’s time for our morning commute!
It’s another leisurely morning in RandomeasterncitymaybeBaltimore, where the children appreciate the morning light, have 2-3 feelings, ride the bus, get some bacon & eggs, and then wander into school just in time for lunch.
Hey Did You Get That at Kohl’s Back to School Sale? I Love Pencils!
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Abbud needs to stop it with this OMG SEX thing. It worked when Dev Patel did it, because that dude is a good actor and I believe his lines were slightly better, but this guy is just irritating. Nice hoodie, though.
Ah, lunch. Such a pivotal time in the life of a young person. Lunch brings out the child in all of us, apparently, the child who can’t eat a chocolate bar without smearing it all over his face…
… the child who is so fascinated by FRENCH KISSES WITH TONGUE that when Michelle & Tony play a bit of tonsil hockey, the world must cease as the children stare on in wonderment, offering a verbal play-by-play…
… the child who is so nervous to use the word “sex” that he says “making monkey” instead …
… the child who is so titillated by saying the word “breasts” that it must be repeated, multiple times, slightly different but no less exciting every time, just like the idea of the cheerleader showing everyone her boobs at halftime, which I think counts as child pornography.
But back in grown-up land, SOMEBODY HAS FEELINGS and is sharing those feelings with Tea via eye contact.
I’m putting my money on “credits Tea with her lesbian awakening, falls in love with her”
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I Know This Mini-Bar
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Tea chases lunch with a mini-bottle of vodka but luckily evades an open container law as she lives in no-mans land. I mean that could totally just be a mini-bottle of clear Tabasco sauce or some kind of lesbian witch potion. OH LOOK WHO IT IS —
Look Me in the Eyes And Tell Me You Didn’t Find My Little Debbie Dress Attractive
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Betty: “Hey–”
Tea: “Oh–”
Betty: “I was thinking–”
Tea: “Betty. We had sex. But I’m not really looking for anything else.”
Betty: “Why not?”
Tea: “Somebody mentioned a boyfriend? What’s that for, show?”
Betty: “I have to have a boyfriend.”
Liquid Courage In Action
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Tea: “Sounds like pretending to me, and that’s bad stuff I have to avoid. And I don’t want a relationship.”
Betty: “Why’s that?”
Tea: “Because nobody matches up to me.”
Betty: “You’re just an arrogant bitch really, aren’t you?”
Tea: “Sorry, scaredy cat.”
Tea’s family is playing “who can talk the loudest” and at first we think Tea’s going to come out while everyone talks, like when Bette told Jodi that she slept with Tina (or something like that, I can’t remember) and Jodi couldn’t hear her which was like, really mean but also weird, but no instead Tea yells for everyone to be quiet and everyone is for about a minute and then chaos re-erupts.
Nana notes, “What’s the difference in Arkansas, it’s a skill! Mazel Tov!” Word.
Breakfast in Bed at Tiffany’s
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Tea’s getting intimate with Audrey Hepburn in her dreams when Nana strolls in, which would be embarrassing if Nana didn’t think she was walking into a Nuremberg Rally.
Blair Waldorf (at least in the books, IDK re: the TV show) Also Loves Audrey Hepburn, Maybe They Should Bang
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Probs Nana is thinking, “Audrey Hepburn sure is looking lovely these days.” She calls Tea “Ruthie” and says she doesn’t want her marrying that boy. Tea figures this would be a good time to bounce her private ideas off somebody who has a lot of love but not a lot of memory.
Tea: “Something’s wrong with me Nana. I want the sex but the girls I sleep with? Bore me. They’re catty and clingy and I dunno — it never feels like enough. Is it too much to ask for someone to be interesting? I just wanna feel equal.”
And I Said, What About Breakfast at Tiffanys and She Said “I Think I Remember the Film”
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Two thumbs up for the “gay AND.” As in: she’s not a one-note lady for whom navigating homosexuality is the only issue. ‘Cause it ain’t — relationships are complicated & confusing regardless of gender, and by often watering down teevee homo plots to “Gay” being enough to ride a character, writers really shortchange us. So Big Up to Brian.
It’s time for Tea’s BIG BLIND DATE that Dad set her up on. Everyone is Italian which means lots of loud talking and face-squeezing, apparently. I worked at The Olive Garden, the mood was similar.
But omg, guess who her blind date is?
It’s not the blonde chick, I know I got excited too, like it was a “Surprise You’re Gay” party or something. It’s Two-Note Tony.
Waiting For Godot Per Ushe
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Luckily both the kids have pocketed some serious change to fund their little date and therefore the Never Explain Never Apologize Team heads to the playground with some cheap vodka, where they can spin and spin and not fall down.
Ultimately, none of this matters because these kids are fucked and going to die. I didn’t first drink vodka out of the bottle ’til age 25. She’s what like 16. I’m dying as we speak. If I my brain wasn’t too burned out to remember math, I could tell you what this specifically means to these kids, but I can just say it’s not looking good.
I don’t see the “chemistry” in this scene some newly minted shippers see. It’s two confident humans drawn to each other in a way that isn’t sexual, but because a great deal of their confidence is tied into their sexuality, that’s the only language they have to express it.
Tea: “Why Michelle?”
Tony: “What?”
Tea: “You heard.”
Tony: “She’s hot. No, she’s the hottest. And the cleverest and her nipples make me laugh, so she’s mine.”
Tea: “That’s how you see it, huh?”
Tony: “That’s how I see it. We get along.”
Tea: “Does it bore you?”
Tony: “Your turn, tell me something about yourself.”
Tea: “You wanna know what we do right, what goes where, who licks what, it’s so tedious. I screw girls, so what. And only the HOTTEST, by the way.”
Tony: “Listen I know you like to fuck the lady-harp. That’s boring. You’re mysterious.”
Tea: “I’m what?”
Tony: “You hold back, nobody gets in, it’s mysterious.”
Tea: “My Dad threw his life away to be with my Mom, he didn’t care that his family disowned him — maybe he never wanted that world, I dunno. And he loves her. I can’t imagine feeling that way about anyone. I think I’ve got a screw missing.”
Tony: “Maybe it just needs tightening.”
Tea: “FUNNY!”
Tony: “Yeah, you’re funny too.”
Tea: “I know, but you’re FUNNY.”
The real question here is: will Tea grow up to become Bette, or Shane?
“I can match you,” Tony Don Juan Cassanova De La Pica Moraelliano insists. “You’ve met your match.”
Yup. It’s time for everyone to rock out with their cocks out!
Tony the Alliteration Addict notes Tea’s hideaway, “Snatch City.” “Boy, you lesbians sure have style,” Tony says like a douche.
Tea hits the dance floor like a lusty drunk girl in silky underpants who wants to dance / knows how. Tony summons two stray worms of personality from his feet and then proceeds to showcase the moves he learned from Roundhouse.
Tony’s swiffer-jetting his way around Tea and they’re smiling and happy and having fun and intrigued, maybe, when one thing leads to another thing and before long, here we are!
Didn’t Even Take Her Chucks Off
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Afterwards Tea is like, THIS IS IT? THIS?!! and cracks up laughing. It’s pretty fucking awesome.
Tony: “What?”
Tea: “That was –”
Tony: “Awful.”
Tea: “Terrible, it was terrible!”
Tony: “Normal girls like it, so.”
Tea: “They must be really stupid.”
I KNEW I SHOULD’VE TRIED “CIRCLES”
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This is a scene that launched a thousand ‘ships, but I’ve got no clue why. It doesn’t represent a crucial plot point in Tea’s sexuality development nor was it added to the series precisely to titillate whomever it is that still enjoys these straight boy-lesbian onscreen match-ups.
What’s interesting here is that this is, in fact, something that happened in the original series — they aren’t veering from this plot point — but that time it was with Maxxie, the gay male character who was replaced by ‘Tea’ in this episode. Tony, who’s been itching to show Maxxie what an ambisexually deft lover he is, finally gets his chance during the crazy trip to Russia.
Results are similar:
Maxxie: “Tony, you’ve finally found something you’re not actually good at.”
Tony: “What?”
Maxxie: “Goodnight Tony, find somewhere else to sleep.”
Tony: “What?!”
In conclusion, Tea wins the scene.
On Tea’s way home, she’s assaulted by the Scary Drug Man who calls her a dyke and grabs onto her arm. Then Dad comes out and stands on the porch with his arms crossed like a badass until Scary Drug Man heads off.
Later we learn that Dad thought he called Tea a “kike” — it can be hard to hear over the sound of confetti shooting from my eyeballs that Dad’s Italian Mafia has been called in to sub for Jal’s brothers and that this whole marijuana-buying sub-plot, which I’ve yet to mention in this recap BECAUSE IT IS STUPID AND ANNOYING, will soon end.
Here’s a picture of what happens later. Doesn’t Tea look cute in that jacket? I wish that dude’s nose wasn’t in the way.
BUT! BEFORE WE GET TO A PART OF THE RECAP I WOULD’VE SKIPPED IF MTV HADN’T MADE THE SCREENCAP FOR ME — here we are back in the “present” of the teevee show, where Tea feels vulnerable after being gay-bashed and having sex with a dude for no reason.
“You musn’t give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they’re strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky.”
– Holly GoLightly, Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Tea, in just a t-shirt and a weary gait, slips into Nana’s bedroom and asks if maybe she could sleep with her, and of course it is, how else will we ever protect ourselves from Nuclear attack.
THE LAVENDER MENACE
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Nana: “President Eisenhower let me down. Some kind of war hero. He can kiss my ass.”
Tea: “He can kiss my ass too, Nana.”
Nana: “I thought nobody knew I had a lover. I told her, “This is a free country, no one can hurt you know. We got no ghettos here, Martha”. Eisenhower should have helped us. He should have put a stop to it but it was on the radio every day about the bad people, traitors, queers, I guess they thought between us and the communists, we were going tear the place down. They even gave us a name so everybody knew what to hate: Lavender.”
Nana: “I told her, “It’s a sweet flower, how can a flower hurt anyone?” but people visited. They said that wasn’t the way Jewish people behaved and Martha got so scared that they knew we loved each other. I hear she married a farmer in Wisconsin. Everybody’s most particular there. Shame on you, Mr. President. Shame on you.”
Tea: “I love you, Nana.”
Nana: “I know you do, Ruthie.”
Lemme be honest: this scene both feels totally over-the-top and totally made me cry like a baby.
The next morning in the caf, Michelle is talking to Tea about how she hasn’t been getting the hot beef injection on the reg from Tony’s Salami. Perhaps Tony only enjoys a challenge. He continues eyeing Tea with the attitude of somebody who didn’t give her the worst ‘sex’ of her life.
“It’s work,” Michelle says about sex with Tony. “It feels like work.”
THEN BETTY ARRIVES.
No. Not that Betty. This Betty:
It’s time for Betty to “put her truth” on Tea. This isn’t gonna end well if Tea doesn’t have feelings back though honestly, even as I type this, I’m just looking at that chick’s cleave.
The cafeteria is both stunned and entertained.
Definitely Considering Club Skirts
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Michelle diffuses the situation by volleying the homophobia ball right back at a group of guys in the corner nudging each other in excitement about the lesbian action, “Hey guys, why don’t you all go screw each other in the ass. It looks like you want to, the way you’re all touching each other and everything.” AWESOME.
Tea then strolls outside where her Dad is regulating on the Scary Drug Man as aforementioned. He tells Tea she’s a good girl and she should be proud of herself. She looks sad, like “would he still be proud of me if he knew about the clambakes?”
Tony calls and Tea lets him know “this isn’t gonna fly,” this thing where Tony wants her for one additional moment. He needs affirmation though — he needs to re-write the sex act for both of them — “I matched you,” he says. “I matched you good.” Tea rolls her eyes, purses her lips, and then Betty calls on the other line so she says she has to go.
Tea, who’s really into “Wade in the Water” this week, then dances all over the room like a fucking pixie from Planet Homodorable.
At the end, my viewing companion said to me, “even though this show will never be as good as the British one, it’ll still be a big deal to a lot of kids” and I think this episode is a perfect example of that. Tea’s already had her awakening and is out to her friends. I’m not sure if I loved the episode, but I loved the character. It’s about time we get our own Ricky Vasquez, Jack McPhee, Kurt Hummel, Eric van der Woodsen, Calvin Owens, Marco De Rossi — or, you know — Maxxie.
Comments
im so tying my high-tops like her now. it should be a SIGN now
also i dont think i used the word now enough for one sentence.
Haha such a good idea!
I already tie mine like that (though I fold down the tops too). I got SO excited when she did it. I’m all for it being a sign!
Absolutely fantastic. I feel like I should keep on watching the show just to be able to better understand these recaps.
Oh I liked the dress. Both of ’em are totally hot, and in a way that actually reads as dykey, rather than a “conventionally straight-girl-looking actresses written into a lesbian subplot” way. That is a nice change.
I like “Tony summons two stray worms of personality from his feet” however. Hahahaha.
(I like that line *better* is what I meant to say.
The Planet is defo real.
i cried during grandma’s scene. i better get my period soon…
you read my mind
“Look Me in the Eyes And Tell Me You Didn’t Find My Little Debbie Dress Attractive.” so fucking good
“I felt you in my polka dots before I ever met you”
your art inspired me to dress my best and paint my dress like i saw it best
this ftw
also i just finished reading teh recap and IT WAS AMAZING.
I could not stop laughing at “Tea’s family is playing ‘who can talk the loudest’.”
Am I the only one who cringed anytime the “scaredy cat” was uttered by Tea/Betty? I mean, really? SCAREDY CAT? Does anyone above the age of 4 say that?
for some reason US skins uses really zany lingo
last week I think it was ‘narcotics’
it’s true! as in, “I hope you get some good narcotics, Stanley.” what’s the deal with that? a friend of mine stopped watching after the first episode for this reason alone.
i would TOTALLY say “narcotics,” it’s such a fun word. Am i the only person who picks words based on how they sound/look. Maybe.
I’m a word nerd so I would say narcotics as well
I think it was meant to be taken in that nerdy way, not in the literal preppy way like how Barbie said “too urban! too urban!”
Now, that shit
“Am I the only one who cringed anytime the “scaredy cat” was uttered by Tea/Betty?”
NO. I hate that phrase sooo much. It just bothers me. I bothers me more than Tony.
“Slander against cats, write that down.”
totes agree with you about cringing when they would say it; they sounded like they didnt know what it meant and just didnt believe in the phrase itself (does that make sense?)
downloading it now! it probs wont come out in new zealand til 2015 anyway, so i dont feel too bad about it. hope it’s half as good as the UK version was.
I like that this blog might never truly leave the L Word behind. Which is good, ’cause I’m definitely not.
ahh, this article reminded me that I used to walk by Meow Mix everyday on my way home from high school, for 3 years, just waiting until I’d be old enough to go in (obviously not as cool as Tea)…then they closed it my senior year *sad baby dyke flashback* haha
damn. i gotta watch this show….
You didn’t even mention the best line of the whole episode. Where after the chick in the plaid shirt picks up Tea she says “Are you up for breakfast, or did you eat enough last night?” Tea obviously says “Oh you know I did.”
YES, that was my favorite part.
omg i thought that was so cheesy! really did everyone else like it and i am a killjoy
def thought it was cheesy, but also thought it was cool to see two high school girls joking/high-fiving about girlsex on tv in a way that wasn’t like girls gone wild or something.
This.
*highfive*
Agreed
it’s not just you. that line gave me douchechills.
It was pretty cheesy, but I remembered that they’re all 16 so this joke would be considered raunchy and very clever.
If you’re a killjoy I’m a killjoy.
Feeling the cheese for sure. The dialogue on this show is not believable IMO. But, you know, TEA.
your recaps are hilarious. i was hoping for more snark, though… i mean some of the lines sounded plain ridiculous, but it’s probably more to do with the crappy, emotionless delivery. guess that’s what happens when you go ultra low-budget and cast kids with no/limited previous acting experience (tony especially.)
i think the tony/tea sex scene would have been more effective/palatable if he went down on her as opposed to fucked her. it’s one thing to feel humiliated knowing it something she’s not into period, but another knowing that a girl could please her doing it and he couldn’t. i feel it would have been more powerful on her part for some reason. also would have been true to the tony/maxxie scene.
I love the recap! I actually saw it but I didn’t really get it. The language they use is retarded plus is it me or are the commercials hella long? Also, the literary tat is one of my favorite poems but its way too serious for a teenager.
Funny that you say “retarded” to complain about language…
It is like so sad that I can’t watch this… *tear*
search the internets! you can do it!
-itunes. if you want it that bad you wanna spend the $
-google
-mtv doesn’t have a convertor like bbc does?
Not mtv canada…
i hear from a wise old sage/LOTR like mythical creatures that certain websites may or may not contain episodes of skins…
heres a hint:
google latestepisodeonline
that is all. also where in canada you from?
Manitoba. Not the most exciting province :P
manitoba whut whut
i watch it through tv.blinkx.com — the links are iffy (not virus-y, just quality is give and take), and the take-down-due-to-infringement is hella fast, but i’ve seen all of the episodes so far.
i’d wait until it was on the teevee, but by then i’ll already know everything, cause the autostraddle recaps are srsly the best part.
I really, viscerally disliked it when Michelle quipped back “Hey guys, why don’t you all go screw each other in the ass. It looks like you want to, the way you’re all touching each other and everything.” She used it as an insult, and people took it like that, doing that “ooooo” thing when someone’s just put out a really apt insult.
It’s great that there is an out lesbian with an interesting story arc, but they’ve seemingly erased any type of non-heterosexuality in males as far as I can see, and even poke fun at the possibility of non hetero males. Every guy they’ve shown so far has been hugely stereotypically obsessed sex, and seducing or leering at women.
yeah. any kind of fag discourse is upsetting. hopefully the writers find a way to incorporate how male sexuality is experienced by teenagers into the show as well.
yeah we were like “way to bring homophobia back into the room, girls!”
I watched the first half hour of this with my mother.
#awkward
Bad idea… lol
Not my idea!
She sat down, I cowered, but it was my last night living at home so I couldn’t very well tell her to fuck off.
Yeah, I guess.
I agree, that line really bugged me as well. I rewatched the scene and noticed that Tea looked kind of irked for a moment, but then smiled at Michelle. I took it to mean that sometimes when your straight friends try to defend you they still don’t really get it.
Wait… Tony and Tea really had sex? There was actual penetration. What?
But Her and Michelle are like BFFFFF’s and they should hook up. I think Tea should hook up with all her straight friends, it’d be so Shane of her.
You recap’d the shit out of this show. Great job! For some odd reason I enjoyed watching her masturbate… until nanna walked in, then I got Black Swan flashbacks. eeek :-/
Lol!
I watched that movie in the theater. That scene was pretty hot and then got really scary. The music and everything
Ever since 11 PM Monday night, I have been waiting for this recap! Oh my god.
Can I just say….her dancing is THE fucking best. SO ADORBS. #iwanttodancewithherplease
Also, getting off to Audrey Hepburn = win.
I totally agree re: in love with the character, not the episode.
As she and Tony were headed to penetrationland I kept going “NONONONONONONO” cause I was afraid we were going to have sexuality!crisis. Thank god she laughed!
yeah when she laughed, i laughed and fell in love a little bit
This was HILARIOUS. I really liked this episode and have a feeling I won’t like any of the upcoming episodes as much, especially if they’re anything like the first one. The whole show should just revolve around Tea. yes.
oh and I think she’s kind of hot which makes me feel like a pedophile. it’s awkward.
Okay, one thing that pisses me off and it happens a lot.. is that when they show a somewhat bisexual woman (more lesbionic) woman struggling with her sexuality they always show her having bad sex with a man to show her gayness. It’s always awkward, fast, laughable, detached just really horribly bad. Yet the lesbian sex is so perfect, fun, passionate, etc. Straight people can have good sex too.
It’s one thing to prefer sex with one gender over another but why does it always have to be horribly bad to make that point?
It gets the point across so well though ;-)
While I see your point, I don’t see how a lesbian not enjoying sex with a man means that straight people don’t have good sex…
I don’t think it’s like that.. if you are a lesbian fine. like I said I understand a gender preference but as stated below it seems like bad sex made her confirm her lesbianism, not sex with a man.
I dunno, Tea seemed pretty damn sure of her lesbianism long before the bad tryst with Tony.
Sex with a man = bad sex in my mind.
sex with a woman= boring in my mind
But that is besides the point. I am talking about how it’s always depicted in this same way. I had bad sex with a man so that must mean I am a lesbian.
I think it’s depicted that way frequently because it happens that way frequently. I know I’m not the only one with whom that scene resonated. Even some of us who feel very secure with our sexuality get curious about what all the fuss is about, then the dick comes out and we burst into laughter (muffled laughter if we have any tact). You have to admit, if you weren’t aroused by men there’s no way not to find it awkward/comical.
Actually I agree. I kinda sends the message that bad sex makes you gay. I can hear a lot of straight guys going, “She just needs a REAL MAN.”
That’s why I liked the affair in “The Kids are Alright” she had pretty good sex with the guy but she was still gay
Yes, that’s all I am saying. Showing it that way is like winning by default.
I’m really surprised to see that no one has anything critical to say about how this lesbian character is being portrayed. There’s a reason U.S Skins adopted a pretty femme ‘wild’ lesbian – perhaps the most ‘attractive’ subset of the queer community (for straight viewers). For most of America she isn’t actually uncomfortable to watch because her character is designed with a superficial and constructed sense of depth and emotion. Moreover her drinking and apathy fit in with her otherwise ‘wild lifestyle choice’.
If she was an awkward lesbian that couldn’t pick up girls/was in love with straight girls – her character would make a lot more people uncomfortable and I don’t mean the radical evangelical right that is bothered by everything that challenges white heteronormativity. I mean regular people that think they are ‘okay’ with the LGBTQ community.
Her character exsists to create controversy, to “represent the queer community” and to appeal to a heterosexual audience that wants to see the queer community as a group of attractive lesbians.
i see what you’re saying here, i do, but i don’t think it’s fair or necessary to categorize tea as ‘femme’ (she’s kinda skewing androfemme, which, style-wise, also happens to be trendy, for better or worse) or apathetic. it’s pretty clear that her apathy is a front, and i think that’s overwhelmingly relatable.
there are all kinds of ways to be a lesbian. if she were unable to pickup girls or dealt with life in a way other than drinking, like idk sobbing herself to sleep every night, i’d have a problem with that portrayal. also this is skins, not my so-called life — it’s supposed to be ‘grittier’ or whatever.
tea is awkward in her own way. and it seems a little early in the game to declare that she doesn’t have a crush on a straight girl or has never or will never. but i didn’t watch skins uk, so maybe you know more about her probable storyline than i do.
also? i don’t see what’s wrong with heterosexuals seeing the queer community as a group of attractive lesbians. that view of lesbians would fly in the face of the typical reaction of “but you don’t look gay!” when a conventionally attractive girl comes out.
Perhaps I just find her character’s personality/storyline somewhat predictable and cliche. I also hate the show so I have a bit of a bias.
I can’t think of any lesbian or 2-3 episode bicurious character, for American audiences, that hasn’t been ‘conventionally attractive’ – these female characters feel so designed to mesh comfortably with a heterosexual audiences. I don’t have an issue with seeing conventionally attractive lesbians on TV – it’s just bothersome that the straight community in the states is really only comfortable with a certain type of queer.
“I can’t think of any lesbian or 2-3 episode bicurious character, for American audiences, that hasn’t been ‘conventionally attractive’ – these female characters feel so designed to mesh comfortably with a heterosexual audiences.”
i feel like the same could be said about any social group represented on tv, save for the ‘geeks.’ that’s kind of just a given.
“it’s just bothersome that the straight community in the states is really only comfortable with a certain type of queer.”
in my experience, the type of queer that most [bigoted / concerned] people in the states are comfortable with is the kind they can see coming from a mile away. queers who exist outside of the concerned person’s perceived norms, which unfortunately is a really rigid set of stereotypes that are too depressing to list, tend to make those kinds of people uncomfortable. i mean we’re still dealing with the perception that we’re gay because no men want to fuck us.
anyway whatever. practically everyone on tv is pretty. having a lesbian character be lumped in with ‘everyone’ instead of being singled out seems fine to me.
i personally enjoyed “lesbian kiss” juxtaposed with “straight girl eating a hotdog.”
Love it.
what i need is for MTV to create a spin-off for Tea. she’s not in the original uk skins anyway #justsayin
Also,
“You, really don’t give a shit, do you?”
“Nope, I really don’t.”
THIS IS HOW WE LIVE, NO FUCKS TO GIVE
NO FUCKS, 2011
Great recap Riese!
I was glad to see Tea wasn’t into Tony at the end. It seems whenever there is a lesbian character in a tv show or movie there is always “that guy” who’s mission is to try to turn her straight. SO ANNOYING!!!
I really liked the grandma scene because it showed they understand their queer history, but I wonder if it might have been lost on their target audience.
I don’t know how I feel about this. For one, I’m happy that there’s some lesbian representation in a teen show. But, also the plotline seems so tired and boring. I feel like I’ve seen it before: lesbian likes girl in denial, sleeps with boy (for some reason I’ll never know)… It’s just been done. And done. And done. So I guess I’m just bored now.
I will say though that Gay Grandma is a nice touch.
I really liked Nana, too. It resonated with me a lot (ie. i cried), just because I’m sure my family had gone through similar things. Anyway, it had pathos and, really, octogenarian Jewish lefties are never shown on tv unless it’s a pbs documentary. So yea, I give them major kudos for that. Also, I think the show is authentic re/ Americans teenagers. Look, most of the kids are annoying on this show. But, teenagers do act like this, maybe not the drinking and promiscuity so much as the stupid jokes about sex and insecurity masked with bravada. Also, many teens are annoying little shits, irl. Lastly, the US show has better cinematography than Uk ver. and combined musically it sets a tone that’s more interesting than it’s predecessor and makes up for some less talented actors or stilted dialogue. I probably have more confidence in this show than is warranted though.
Riese, The thing about shipping is that it often has little to do with what is shown from both characters and more to do with a series of options. It could be about affirmation, fantasy, transference, etc. In this case, one character, Tony, desires the other, Tea, who is thoroughly uninterested. An objective viewing and respect of both characters should seemingly lead to the recognition that Tony’s want is meant to be unreciprocated and that Tea does not want any sexual relationship with him because she does not find him sexually attractive. More specifically she is only sexually attracted to women.
The thing is that viewers often substitute their own visions and agenda’s in place of what is depicted. Many a heterosexual female viewer will see Tony as attractive and will disregard Tea’s feelings or desires because they are viewing it from the aspect that they are Tea – they may see themselves as also being Tea, a lonely person looking for love, while disregarding the sexuality of Tea – replacing it with their own heterosexuality. Many a heterosexual female viewer will think they could be a cute couple just like me an my boyfriend. And many a heterosexual female viewer will just find the thought of a good looking boy and a good looking girl hooking up as exciting.
Many male viewers meanwhile will find Tea attractive and compelling. In doing so, many will disregard what feelings Tea displayed while enacting their own fantasy or transference scenarios.
Tea’s disinterest in romance with Tony, her thorough lack of sexual chemistry with Tony, and her disgust at sex with Tony does not factor in to the shipping scenarios because these viewers are not interested in the character’s feelings and interests. They are interested in their own feelings and interests. It is no less different than Toby/Emily shippers on Pretty Little Liars. For example, said shippers would never want a straight female character to become bisexual because it is about their seeking of affirmation and of fantasy.
I don’t think this is homophobic in any way. I can certainly understand the argument it is heterosexist. But in the end, I see what is all too common when viewing television which is the disregarding of one character’s feelings because it does not figure in what the viewer is most comfortable with. That is the true shame when someone ships Tea and Tony. They are basically saying Tea is no more than a vessel for their desires instead of being a character.
i almost wrote “CHRIS HD CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS TO ME” but i didn’t have to. thank you.
maybe i was a shenny shipper because i wanted the hottest girl in town to like me even though i am insane
I liked this episode.
I watched it with two straight friends of mine, a guy and a girl, so I think we all took it just a little differently.
I for one though do NOT like Betty.
Maybe because I was Betty. (I was also Tea, but let’s keep it simple) I try to remember that they are young, so they are right around the time when a Betty would be having these feelings. But she was soooo back and forth; she stared Tea _down_ in history class and shimmied around with her at northern soul and even went down on her back at Tea’s house. This girl was Never Scared until the next school morning, when up pops her reservations and her boyfriend. Like, what? “I have to have a boyfriend,” okay well yeah but don’t be tryna fingerbang her one night and chat about your boyfriend the next day and kiss her by lunchtime then get mad when she doesn’t wanna deal. Nobody has time for those games
These kids
Word. Betty, you can have your cake but then you can’t eat her out too.
THANK YOU. I could not stand Betty’s character. The show had this great opportunity to explore the contrast between Tea, someone confident and sure of her homoism, and Betty, someone who is maybe questioning her sexuality and struggling with figuring out who she is vs. what is expected of her by parents/society/Teen Vogue, etc. Instead, we see Betty go from ‘Oh, I might be interested in some homotivities’ to ‘YEP, definitely going down on a girl all gay-like right now’ to ‘OMGZ, I’m STRAIGHT, don’t touch me!’ to ‘J/K, you guys, I’m totally a lezzer! Let’s make out in front of everyone at school, including my boyfriend of whom you may recall me being SO concerned about just mere hours ago!’ in a span of what, maybe 24 hours? I understand that shows are obligated to push through some plotlines to keep their story arcs moving, but damn, Gina. That shit takes time. How about some character development instead of creating another throw away, two dimensional character? Maybe some of this perception is due to the Betty actress’s awkward as hell acting, but I can get past the horrible acting for the most part. Thankfully, Tea is portrayed as being a complex, multi-faceted person and I hope I can say that for the other leads as the show progresses because we only seem to have over exaggerated clichés of their Brit counterparts at the moment. Yes, Skins was always deliberately over the top and a little absurd, but it still FELT real (with some glaring exceptions). This feels like pandering to a less intelligent audience. That being said, I still agree that while this show has many faults, it’s still an important show for younger audiences for a lot of reasons and I’ll still fight for the show’s right to party in the midst of all this PTC garbage. I just wish it was also a show that wasn’t so painful to watch as an adult too, ya know?
Homotivities!
Also, I got the feeling that her family already knows she is gay. They just prefer not to speak on it
Woah. Random link, but the ‘Over the River and Through the Woods’ thing is a play. The British premiere of which was directed by my nan. Crazy shit.
I guess I’ve watched way too much UK!Skins, where the sex scenes actually looked like sex scenes. I read the Tea/Tony bit as just awkward making-out, maybe a little groping. I mean, c’mon, it was so short! And even though I’m probably wrong I’m sticking with my interpretation because I really can’t buy Tea actually having sex with Tony/don’t want to throw up.
I watched this episode with a few of my close friends, all of whom are queer, and we actually found many parts of the episode problematic. I, for one, am sick of seeing the issue of consent neglected so often on mainstream television. Considering Tea is a lesbian (who is out to her friends) and had been drinking, consent is clearly an issue in the sex scene with Tony. Also, the scene where Michelle is “defending” Tea is totally offensive. Fighting homophobia with a DIFFERENT KIND of homophobia, that’ll show ’em! I guess I just really had high expectations of this episode, and it was disappointing. I really only enjoyed Tea’s dancing (legitimately adorable), and I wanted to like this show SO MUCH.
“Someone get that girl a blog” = HILARIOUS!
Straight men and straight women don’t get pissed when depictions of leading straight characters on television are conventionally good looking. Gay men don’t get pissed when depictions of leading gay male characters on television are conventionally good looking. Why in the Hell do so many lesbians in our community get pissed when depictions of leading lesbian characters on television are conventionally good looking? It is sad and reflects badly on the person who gets pissed.
i agree…. you are either attractive to a somewhat conventional degree or greater, or you have to appeal and work the token-quirky-looking characters (who can be just as much a fan favorite). for me, personally, i am attracted to and can identify with a more femme or slightly-tomboyish (aka tea) character than a more butch character. i know im not alone with that view, and that alot of people might disagree, but its also just my personal opinion. im sure straight people cant identify/worship every straight character in every show and movie either, theres a niche for everyone.
i also think that the point of using conventionally good looking lesbians is to get the point across to the other majority of the population that just because someone doesnt look gay they are automatically straight. once its a nonissue then im sure people wouldnt care about seeing other representations of gay people. rome wasnt built in a day.
im not saying that anyone deserves any more screentime than anyone else, but 100-footers are whom ordinary folks see as “gay” in real life just by virtue of being 100-footers. and while we are all up in our gayness and in these blogs and communities and stuff, to heteros storylines like tea or naomily are like WTFISALLTHIS/CONFUSION.
baby steps.
**are not automatically straight
what i loved about tea was that she wore a dress with chucks and a jacket, which was more or less my daily uniform growing up.
yeah mine too..i was like converse depot since i was 9
hot lesbians who have a lot of sex = great entertainment for straight men.
im pretty sure if it wasnt seen as all exotic and shit that straight guys would stop fawning over it. desensitization amirite.
“I mean they take ten busses and a hydroplane to get to school and it’s only a hop/skip/jump to pussy palace?”
ahhhh riese you kill me! also so glad to see the ‘is it sex’ flowchart again.
IMPORTANT QUESTION:
UK SKINS SEASON 5 Episode 1!
The watered down US version just isn’t filling my craving.
omg! thanks for reminding me. ill be searchin for this shit all tomorrow. frankie ftw!
I haven’t started watching yet, but this could be it!
http://www.skinsfansite.com/2011/01/skins-season-5-episode-1-franky.html
yeah i just found a place and downloaded it in like 5 min. i didnt even know the first episode was the franky themed one. i just was reppin’ in general. even better!
Yes, I just decided, I’m only going to watch this show because of the recap. It feels like old “The L Word” times again.
Thank you Riese for making me laugh :D
Hate the show, UK version was so much better, but I like Tea.
I really want to like this show, but I just can’t. People that I like enjoy this show (and the UK version) and I always love to stick it to the obnoxious morality police, but…damn, you guys. This is really awful. Like, it’s so boring it makes my stomach ache and I actually get kind of angry that I’m being bored to such an extreme.
I’m out.
Does anyone know the name of the song where Betty kisses Tea in the caffeteria???? please help me figure out the name of the songg, I cant figure it out nor find it for the life of me. GREAT recap btw
http://www.youtube.com/user/DharmaWheelPractice that has all the music from both episodes
oh mahh gawwwd you guys are GOING TO LOVE FRANKY OFF SKINS UK. srsly recap this immediately. oh my god. adorbs. love. she so awkward.
You guys are obviously missing the most important part of this entire episode: The teacher that gave the anti-drug/everything else speech was Glen Coco! Pshh, who cares about lesbians and their images in the media when something like that happened. Y’all need to get your priorities straight. (Oh, and the actor’s real name is David Reale)
No way?? As in “you go Glen Coco” Glen Coco? Wow. I kind of thought that USA Skins was a lukewarm version of Uk Skins, but now I think it’s pretty decent. Hahaha “and none for gretchen weiners”
oh my gosh riese you make my knees weak everytime i read a post by you (which by the way weak knees when your sitting down = awk in the library); you had me at the breakfast at tiffanys quote!
ummm so aka i totes agree with this whole post
Brit SKINS has restarted. I don’t have time for this anymore.
whatd you think of frankie!!
im pretty sure a majority of this site can relate on like 5000 levels to franky. myself included. franky is fly as shit and hopefully she doesnt get bludgeoned/bludgeon someone in 4 episodes
Frankie is amazing. I’m pretty sure everyone, every where can relate to this character. She is the loner, weirdo, unconventional part that I believe everyone has inside. And the actress that plays the part so phenomenally.
I don’t even know how this episode won me over so quickly. It took two or three episodes of gen 1 and 2 before I felt any connection to a Skins series.
It is a little weird that the popular, mean-for-no-apparent-reason characters (Mimi, Nick) will get their own episode when Skins is usually about the less stereotypically visible high school archetypes.
Just a note to say that “Northern Soul” is a type of music and not the bar’s name…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv0iidBrj6o
Most important part of this episode?
The British Effy’s first monologue, from when she shot up in that weirdo funhouse, is written backwards on a bedsheet in Tony’s room.
Screenshot here: http://i.imgur.com/7z0dk.png
YOU GUYS IT’S SO AWESOME.
the only thing i know about this show is that it makes googling “michelle tea” really difficult
i’m a teenager, and i don’t live where skins usa is set or anything, but i have a question:
is it me, or is all of their dialogue (esp. slang) super awkward?
i guess i’m not familiar enough with how brits talk to feel like something is normal, but the stuff they say on skins usa comes off as badly written, over thought and halting. yes?