“How did you stop being scared?”
[…] “I didn’t want to be afraid of the monsters anymore. I wanted them to be scared of me.”
Scream VI is the next installation in Wes Cravens’, arguably, most popular franchise, Scream. Picking up where we left off in Scream V, we follow Sam and Tara Carpenter, as well as Mindy and Chad Meeks-Martin as they go to New York City for Tara, Mindy, and Chad to get an education — and for Sam to heal. Theoretically.
One of my absolute favorite things about Scream is that whenever you watch any of those movies, a tinfoil hat is not just stylish but necessary. Anyone could be the killer! I could be the killer! Buzz Aldrin could be the killer! You just won’t know until right before the end credits start! (Usually.)
A lot of people know that I didn’t see the Scream movies, until, one weekend in — I want to say 2018? Because I livetweeted my entire experience. I started it because I had a shift at Panera the next day, after just coming off of closing, after an 11 hour shift, and even though I am a self-proclaimed and historically proven scaredy-cat, I figured whatever Scream was about couldn’t compare to the men who were abusing me at my job. I found the first four movies on Vudu for $9.99 and I am a sucker for a good deal, so I went ahead and got them and started at a cool 11:32pm that night. One good thing about trauma brain is, you mostly don’t have time to filter in big pop culture moments. So I went in without knowing any of the backstory (I assumed my high school viewings of the Scary Movie franchise would help me fill in the blanks. It did not.), who any of the killers were, or who makes it to the end.
Thankfully, this time I was able to go in the same. I was gonna go Friday but one of my friends told me that there were already spoilers Thursday afternoon, and knowing that I do not have the self control to stay off of every version of social media for twenty four hours, I changed my ticket to Thursday evening. These are the Scream VI spoiler-free thoughts (but not the previous five) and if you haven’t seen any of the Scream movies and would like to start, I beg, I BEG, of you not to start here. Go back, back to the beginning.
Do y’all understand how big this movie is? DO Y’ALL UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO HAVE THE CORE SURVIVING FOUR OF ONE OF THE BIGGEST HORROR FRANCHISES EVER TO BE TWO LATINA WOMEN, A QUEER BLACK WOMAN, AND A BLACK MAN?! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME AS I SCREAM FROM THE MOON ABOUT THIS?! (I don’t know what it is about the moon for me today, either, sorry.)
You’re gonna get your classic killings, the violence of which is three looking-through-my-hands worthy. You’re gonna go ahead and look into the corner of every screen instead of the main person because you’re waiting for them to subvert a trope, but then remember that they are trying to subvert your anticipation of that trope. You’re gonna feel your stomach drop into your ankles every time a phone rings and you will throw your phone by accident when it rings two hours after the movie, as you sit, catching up on this week’s Autostraddle articles. You’ll enjoy a little preview of Jasmin Savoy-Brown being her great horror self before watching her play the exact opposite of Mindy in Yellowjackets in a couple of weeks. Oh, and one more thing. Just a small detail. You’re gonna get AN ON SCREEN KISS BETWEEN A QUEER BLACK WOMAN AND A QUEER ASIAN WOMAN. THAT SHIT IS BEAUTIFUL ON THE BIG SCREEN. NO HAIR HIDING FACES OR NOTHIN’ WE COMIN UP QUEER!.
A brief pause for this moment, where my tinfoil hat is secured: I truly believe with all my heart that the little conversation between Mindy and Kirby is the franchise acknowledging that Kirby should’ve been a full fledged bisexual in Scream IV, but 2011 was too early for the world to properly appreciate her. By this, I mean the straight world. I was ready to hold Kirby as lesbian-ly as possible with open arms. You tell me I’m wrong when you see Mindy say, “Game recognize game” and then gives Kirby a knowing look. (Spoiler alert, I’m not wrong, thanks). Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
You’re gonna say you don’t care about nostalgia but sit up straight whenever you hear a legacy character’s name or their theme music. You’re gonna mentally list all the reasons anyone can be the killer and try to keep quiet about it even though you’re dying to tell the person next to you. You’re gonna appreciate how the franchise is pretty good with keeping up with technology so that shit still feels like it can happen here. You’re gonna be mad about the subway because who ever wants to take the subway. And then! And then! You’re gonna say you knew it all along even though you weren’t sure for 89% of it and then! You’re gonna come talk to me about how they planted at least five different potential movies to follow up with directly after you see this because there are not enough people I can talk to about that. Thanks!
I saw this mask while I was waiting for my ride home and almost peed myself, yep.
Here is where I’m gonna talk about spoilers.
My spoiler-full incoherent thoughts a la Girls’ Trip, The Prom, and Tumblr:
+ I am OBSESSED with how once again, it’s two Latina woman, a queer black woman, and a black man SURVIVING IT’S A NEW MOTHERFUCKING DAY!
+ Will be screaming (ha) forever about how family is what motivates both the killers and the victims just in different ways (one by revenge, the other by love).
+ Love that the killers are still people who believe they are the most important people in the world and that they must do the most violent things in order to set the world “right” or they’re just fucking weirdos that don’t understand that horror movies aren’t like inspiration for handling conflict. Like, the way they lack so much self-awareness is mind boggling and the monologues are one of the best parts because DO THEY EVEN HEAR THEMSELVES??
+ I am exceptionally terrified that there might be a Scream coming where TikTok helps them defeat the killer.
+ If Hayden Panetierre is looking for a nonbinary partner–I am here. Just saying.
+ Listen. Listen. Listen. A white cop being a killer (oh, how art imitates life) and then being killed by someone they were hunting?? is really satisfying.
+ Fully expecting a legacy character to just decide to become Ghostface so they can stop the stories once and for all, and that, of course, not working.
+ I am not a fan of Ghostface ever having a gun. That absolutely needs to end with this movie. Guns are an equalizer for victims and I just don’t think it’s a good look. (One of the reasons, aside from story, is because whenever there’s a fandom this big, I worry about seeing villains with guns like that. It reminds me too much of the Aurora shooting, and while, of course, a movie isn’t going to stop people from doing what they do, I’d rather not have a franchise encourage it.)
+ Chad being the new Dewey where he just inexplicably does not die is my SHIT. A black man just not dying at the end of horror movies is something I can get behind and more people need to start doing this.
+ At this point, I’m giving all legacy character free reign to do whatever they need to do to get this shit over with. No one is paying for their therapy, there are ten places in the world that don’t know about their lives and one of those places is sleeping next to a penguin. We are out of options, people, and I say do whatever needs to be done to get out of here.
+ There were a lot of places in the movie where it was pretty obvious they could have people come back, even ones you didn’t think of! And I am quietly waiting for Stu to just pop up out of the blue. I’m gonna cuss his ass out but still.
+ I’m gonna say it. I’m gonna say it. Gale gonna be the next Ghostface or she’s gonna be helping I JUST FEEL IT OKAY.
+ Honestly waiting for Tara to also turn because that little smile after she stabbed ol’ boy? A LITTLE WORRISOME DON’T YOU THINK?! (Even though he deserved it, especially after that fuckshit he said to her not even forty eight seconds before.) I feel like they’re gonna try to do this whole thing with Sam and Tara where it’s like, “We’re sisters, we keep each other in check about murder thoughts and stuff, ya know?” Which is sweet.
+ I miss Sydney, always, but damn if it wasn’t a breath I could exhale knowing they couldn’t kill my girl. But, it’s not Scream without her even just popping up on a FaceTime (which she would never do because phones). (Tinfoil hat: I don’t think Gale talked to Sydney. Yeah it seemed like a way to keep her in the movie and tie up loose ends when we knew the team couldn’t afford Neve BUT there’s no proof that Gale talked to her — and one thing about Sydney, she gonna come kill a Ghostface.) We may as well just start the fundraiser now, because I need her in the next one and where we are right now with all these big names? We need the money.
+ Once again, Hayden, just let me know cause I will make it happen.
Delighted to see its good! can’t wait to read the spoilery part after I’ve seen it
yes! i hope you enjoy it and would love to know your thoughts!
” I was ready to hold Kirby as lesbian-ly as possible with open arms. You tell me I’m wrong when you see Mindy say, “Game recognize game” and then gives Kirby a knowing look. (Spoiler alert, I’m not wrong, thanks)”
OMG. THIS. THANK YOU. AND YES, IT DESERVES CAPITAL LETTERS. If this conversation between Mindy and Kirby doesn’t activate your gaydar then you need to take it to gaydar repair. The way Kirby looks at Mindy at the end of the convo too… Ding dong.
And I am not even talking about the lesbo vibes Kirdby gives all along. If we get Scream 7 then I hope we will get to know more about Kirby and that she will have a girlfriend because it would totally make sense.
this right here, is SPECIFICALLY why i write these things, because i need someone who UNDERSTANDS AND YOU GET IT!!!!! watching scream 4 was pAINFUL because you know you KNOW WHO SHE IS BUT THEY WON’T LET HER BE GREAT!!!! this just lets me believe that we can inch ourselves closer to everyone knowing the truth and shout out to mindy for busting through the door like LETS GO GAYS!!!!
i need to once again, on the off chance anyone from Scream reads this, am ready to audition for the part of Kirby’s partner IMMEDIATELY. thank you
And you did so well to write this because I have been asking EVERYONE about it since I watched the movie on Wednesday hahaha I refused to believe that I was lost into some wishful thinking or something. I even re-watched Scream 4 yesterday and damn… Kirby cannot be straight. It is just impossible.
Nb. Can we eventually work on the idea of a throuple? Because I’m more than ready to audition too
The movie was sooooo good and it was delightful to read this review!