Ah, it’s that time again—back to school shopping. Since I love school, back to school shopping has always been one of my very favorite times of the year. My adult life has not proved to be an exception, what with graduate school, teaching and hoping for a long happy life in academia, etc. But it was always more fun when your mom let you get the crazy patterned pencil grips and Lisa Frank trapper keeper, right? Let’s pizazz up our back to school shopping lists with NERD STUFF.
(Non)Standard School Supplies
Entomologist-Inspired Pushpins, $15. Memo-saurus Desk Organizer, $13. Personal Library Kit, $16. QUIT STEALING MY TEXTBOOKS. Lego Limited Edition Large Ruled Moleskine, $20. Star Wars Trapper Keeper, $20. YOU BET I FOUND ONE. There are also insertable Star Wars Composition books! You’re welcome! Adventure Time Pencil Box, $10. Raymond Geddes Game Controller Erasers, $16 for 24.
Backpacks and Lunch Boxes
Pokemon Backpack, $25. Hylian Shield Backpack, $40. LuNCH bag, $13. For those who enjoy lunch…periodically. Legend of Kora Lunchbox, $9. Creeper Backpack, $40. TravelBoy Backpack, $40. Side note, I always hated how they were called GameBoys. Like, talk about needlessly gendering a product and potentially ostracizing half your market at an age where children relentlessly make fun of each other for not conforming to social norms. Marketing fail. But I digress.
Computer Equipment and Tech Accessories
Toshiba Chromebook 2 (with 4 GB of RAM), $279. The reason I’m recommending the 4 GB of RAM is because I’m also going to point you in the direction of this nifty guide to installing Linux on your Chromebook in such a way that you can move between Chrome OS and Ubuntu in a keystroke. SleepPhones, $40 or $100 depending on whether or not you want bluetooth. Dorm rooms are noisy, sleep to the sounds of Jim Dale reading you Harry Potter without choking yourself or sticking something uncomfortable in your ears. Laser Projection Bluetooth Keyboard, $130. Take notes on your tablet in the most badass nerdy way possible, basically. 8 GB of Finn, $15. These USB drives are called Mimobots, by the way, and they’re all really adorable.
Stress Relief
Enchanted Forest Coloring Book, $16. Because who doesn’t want to fucking color after a midterm. Goodnight Darth Vader, $15. Then the question becomes: can you convince your roommate to read you a bedtime story? Nerdblock, $17 per month for 6 months (other subscription lengths are available). Basically, it’s a box filled with a bunch of nerdy stuff like a tee-shirt and action figures that’s sent to you every damn month. Tenth Doctor Onesie, $40. Because homework will be better this way.
So You’re Moving For School
Dorm room? Off-campus? We’ve got you covered. Han Solo Fridge, $150. For those whose universities do not provide this necessity. LaundryBoy Hamper, $20. See above rant. But look at how cute the PokeLaundry is. Tardis Trashcan, $50. Brain Specimen Coasters, $20. Don’t get charged for wrecking furniture if your new place comes furnished à la université. D20 Bowl Set, $13. Perfect for limited space, only-need-two-bowls-type situations. 
Star Trek TNG Shower Curtain, $25. For y’all luckies with apartment-style dorms or off-campus housing. Tardis String Lights, $20. Resist institutional lighting. Periodic Table of Elements Blanket, $30. Study while napping. Doctor Who Bath Towel Set, $50. Probably your roommate won’t have the same towels so there will be no mixing them up. Unless of course your roommate is a nerdy Straddler, in which case RIGHT ON YOU WIN THE ROOMMATE LOTTERY WORRY ABOUT THE TOWELS ANOTHER TIME.
