Real L Word Picked Up For Season Two, Ilene Chaiken Hates Us

Showtime has announced a second season of its ‘groundbreaking’ lesbian reality series The Real L Word! Ilene Chaiken, the only human capable of bringing you such news, had this to say for herself:

“I’m thrilled and truly excited by the support from Showtime and their desire to really bust it out in the second season. We’re looking to tell deeper stories about some of the cast members whom we got to know in season one, and to meet some new women whose lives reflect additional facets of lesbian life and experience.”

That sound you’re hearing, waaaaaay off in the distance, is Riese banging her head against a wall. I’m assuming IFC has taken a long hard look at the problems with Season 1 and how we would’ve fixed them and I, of course, look forward to seeing how she has grown, both as a human and also as a teller of our ‘stories.’ Can’t wait!!

There will be nine episodes and a mix of old and new cast members. We predict / are 99% sure that Mikey will not be taking part in Season 2, which is a real shame, as Robin was basically put on Earth to play the role of Raquel via Autostraddle’s Real L Word Parody, the most ‘groundbreaking’ and eerily well-cast parody EVER.

In honour of this blessed news from on high, I’ve compiled a list of my Top Five Favorite Excerpts from Riese’s recaps of The Real L Word Season 1. Enjoy!

1. Christ almighty.

2. I’m just a shell of myself. Ok, Brandy? I’m a shell of myself.

3. This recap is late because I wanted to wait and see if Whitney & Romi’s sex scene would tip the balance in our favor in the Prop 8 Trial. Mission accomplished. JK THIS EPISODE OF THE REAL L WORD WAS SO WEIRD.

4. What do you want from me. The Real L Word. 108. It happened. Deal with it OMGFASHIONWEEEK FASHIONWEEK.

5. Episode 109 of The Real L Word is THE LAST EPISODE OF THE REAL L WORD. Dinah Shore happens, other things happen OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE

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118 Comments

  5. The Showtime execs were having a big champagne drinkin’ party and Ilene Chaiken was next door with her iPhone and she recorded all these very important people doing very bad things and then she went to a going away party and she threatened to show the video to everyone at the party and then they all tried to push her in the pool but she had a FUCKING life vest on and, as she floated away, she shouted out her demands and the execs rushed to meet them rather than face the shame of their own party behavior. There can be no other explanation.

  6. I love how she thinks this show is so intellectual. Yeah, Ilene. These stories are really deep. Really.

  7. I dunno why we ever expected anything extraordinary from the woman who wrote Barb Wire…yeah, the Pamela Anderson movie from the 90s…uh huh, that one.

    • Agreed. I would watch “the Tracy Stamie Show”. Damn you CHAIKEN! Why do you include these horrifically inventive characters when you could have a 21 century Cosby Show!? Think about it- All the cute kids, Stamie the comedian instead of Comedian Bill Cosby as Dr Huxtable, and and a super hot model instead of super hot lawyer Mrs Huxtable. It could be practically the same show.

  10. I thought the world agreed this was a failure of international proportions. Confusion is clouding my mind. Let’s just keep banging our heads against the wall. Maybe it’ll break.

    • OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      I’m trying to collect myself because being a masochist I watched the first season of the Real L Word because I wanted to take some chances, support the cause and maybe have an excuse for a drinking game. To my disappointment and having to stop drinking vodka for a while she comes with the announcement of a second season.

      Will this take place on Mars because the BS of the frist season was out-of-this-world!
      *knee slap* HIYUCK!

  15. Why do you guys hate TRLW so much? I mean sure it’s a dumb show, but all reality TV shows are. I for one am glad to have some positive representations of lesbians on TV, if TRLW followed the lives of six bulldykes then I’m sure you would all be much more supportive of the show… sad.

    • uh, the fuck? People hate it because it’s not just ‘dumb’, it’s HORRIFIC.
      @’bulldykes’: not even gonna go there, but NO. JUST NO.

    • creamed corn wrestling is a real positive example of lesbian behavior. for sure. among other things.

      but… this does mean we get more recaps? doesn’t it? ;) ha … ha … ha …

        • Laneia! I’ve never seen you get out your smackdown powers before, is it wrong that I’m a little turned on? *fans self*

        • Any comment you disagree with violates your comment policy? That’s pathetic, but w/e, ban me IDGAF.

          • It’s the fact you keep coming back that makes your not giving a fuck particularly believeable for me.

          • Any commenter who employs the word “bulldyke” pejoratively in a context intended to insult masculine-identified dykes violates our comment policy. We let that fly and then you followed it up with something not much better (I didn’t see it myself, but I’m going with Laneia on this) so that was the end of that!

            Anyhow for the record, if six lesbos who self-identify proudly as “bulldykes” would like to make a reality show, you’re absolutely right. WE WOULD LOVE THAT SHOW FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR COLD, COLD, COLD HEARTS. SOMEONE MAKE THAT SHOW PLEASE.

            End of conversation.

          • So, you’re basically admitting that you hated the show because most of the girls were femmes? Why is that exactly? I’m sick of the discrimination towards feminine women in the lesbian community.

          • You realise you’re having a fantasy version of this conversation in your own head, right? I mean seriously, I’m just checking, do you actually think that’s what’s happening here?

          • There’s a huge difference between identifying as femme/feminine and wanting to be recognized as a lesbian by other lesbians, in the media and in the world at large, and bashing other lesbians/queer women who have a different gender presentation/identity.

            IMHO, many of the women on the show represented a form of femininity that is conventionally accepted in a heteronormative world. And that’s awesome, those girls actually exist in real life, they’re actual human beings. But as a femme, I didn’t see anyone on that show whose femininity I personally identified with, nor did I see representation of the community I love that is full of people all along the gender spectrum.

          • uhuh. I just have to say, in this particular internetsspace I as a femme feel a) accepted if not appreciated b) more than welcome c) represented.

            the hating of the show doesn’t come from a place that disses femme/feminine lesbians. the show wasn’t good, lacked storylines and was exploitive. I think the team made that pretty clear in the recaps, but whatever?

          • I am copy-pasting Cassandra’s “You realise you’re having a fantasy version of this conversation in your own head, right?” to a sticky-note to re-use next time this happens.

    • I know AS is not cliquish because we like to love everyone with hugs, kittens and glittery rainbows but…

      SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!

      So quit talkin’ all that ish…bull-dykes really?

    • After reading through this string of comments I feel icky. Although the initial comment was offensive, the replies were also insensitive. I can imagine that her feelings were hurt and she left this discussion feeling alienated. Two wrongs don’t make a right and bullying bullies doesn’t stop bullying. I do not like seeing pejorative phrases on posts either, but I also don’t like seeing ganging up on someone. Maybe her second post deserved that much fury, I don’t know, I didn’t see it… but it seemed a bit much to me. I know autostraddle is sassy (that is why I like it), but maybe this was an opportunity to show compassion towards someone who is less informed. I do not believe that responding to bad comments by being harsh and rude will create a more tolerant and safe autostraddle.

      • Agreed Sadie.

        I was trying to figure out how to respond to this thread, but I think you summed up my thoughts quite well. Both sides came across looking pretty bad. Also, responding to people in complete sentences, rather than cutsie phrases (e.g. Not cool, wtf, so win, etc.) allows for people to better understand where others are coming from.

      • Autostraddle is under no obligation to tolerate hatespeak aimed at lesbians / feminists / women in general, and neither are our readers. Ignorance is not a free ticket to coddling.

        The entire site, it could be argued, exists in an effort to educate people who are willing to learn. Autostraddle is a safe space and tolerant of all things except ignorance, which is why this commenter’s bigoted tone was met with defensiveness and anger. There were no personal attacks on the commenter and a few people did attempt to explain why his/her language was offensive.

        You’re obviously entitled to your opinion of this situation but please understand that there will be no tolerance of homophobic slurs here.

        • Laneia, thank you for responding. I also do not want ignorance to be tolerated. I wish for people’s humanity to be recognized and respected regardless of their level of ignorance. Perhaps next time when hate speach appears on the site remove the comment without the public hanging.

          • I imagine it’s obvious from my involvement in the comments you’re talking about, but actually I found that the response of the moderators and other commentors to the ignorance and hatespeak on display made this feel like a much safer space to me. There’s no reason anyone should have to read comments attacking their identity, which is what Anon was making, and it is not our obligation to be nice to or understanding of hatefulness.

            It was up to Anon to recognise that her initial comment was unacceptable and to address the problems with it, but she chose instead to take the path of further unnecessary attacks. In advising compassion and education you are assuming a good intention on the part of Anon that clearly wasn’t there. You are also suggesting that Anon’s right to ‘compassion’ supercedes the right of members whose identity she was disparaging to see a clear, firm indication that they matter and attacks on them won’t be tolerated by this community. I feel like that isn’t very ‘compassionate’ to them.

            The show of resistance to such hatefulness on the part of the community was, I think, heartening and delightful and helped take the sting out of an otherwise hurtful bunch of comments. Mockery and humour (and yes sentence fragments) are sometimes the exactly appropriate response to wilful stupidity.

          • @Cassandra and Laneia-Let me see if I can put this in autostraddle language… NO. JUST NO. You realize you’re having a fantasy version of this conversation in your own head, right? i am looking at this comment with a ‘wtf’ facial expression. Sadie and rainbow chard totally are over your heads. so not cool. NO WIN.

          • I agree wholeheartedly Cassandra. I want to hug your comment.

            And having made a comment that’s been quoted, maybe I should explain why I didn’t elaborate? I really don’t know how to engage in conversation with someone who felt that The Real L Word was “positive representations of lesbians on TV.” I’m not sure where our common ground would be there. It would probably take some hours of talking and working through things to find where we could agree. So I decided to be brief and instead of addressing the insensitive commenter I decided to let any women feeling personally attacked by her comment know that I didn’t agree with it. Maybe it was insensitive on my part. Maybe in actuality I’m usually a peace keeper who tries to see both sides of the story and that comment just hit me in a sensitive part of my gut that elicited a childish two word sentence. Maybe I need to work on myself a little bit. All I know is that I’m not sorry. And I really wish there WAS a show full of bulldykes on TV for this femme to drool over.

            /end rant

  17. I was thinking how strange it is that the same person keeps commenting and wondering why her comments were so different and contradictory when I realized you guys changed the default pic. Au revoir, Miss Turtle. You will be missed.

    The ONLY good thing I can foresee coming from this is The Real L Word Parody part deux.

    • I feel this every time they change the default pic. It always takes me a minute. Then I giggle quietly to myself and carry on.

  18. Part of me is really excited that we have at least some sort of lesbian visability on television.

    Most of me wants to cry in my room.

  19. EWW! We are horrified!

    Other thoughts include: if Mikey comes back we are gonna lurk on the show SO HARD.

  21. I didn’t see season one and unless I get Showtime, I won’t be seeing season two…so I can’t judge either way.

  26. My favorite part of this announcement is the dog. Maybe there will be more dogs. They were cute. Is it too much to ask for a show full of Tracy, Stamie, and dogs?

  27. I am imagining AS as the first groundbreaking lesbian reality TV show in my head right now and let me tell you, it’s so amazing, I forget about IFC for a little bit.

  29. some things are stupid once,
    and don’t need to be stupid twice.

    this is one of those things.

  30. I feel like maybe we should not let our CEO of Ideas recap this show next season. I worry about her having to subject herself to all those hours of nonsense. I mean, I thought we all agreed to give her a break this year.

    • I agree. I loved the re-caps, but I don’t want Riese to go through it again. That’s an awful lot of work for us to basically point and laugh.

  31. honestly, i’m surprised the lesbian & bisexual community hasn’t put a hit out on ilene yet

  32. I am going to pretend this is not happening and ask. Where is my L word movie. I miss Alice and Shane’s friendship. Bette and Tina’s boring disfunctional relationship. Tasha, because she’s Tasha hmmmm. Helena, Kit even Max. Did he have a baby or a bearded one tail freak that could be in the circus because he was taking testosterone while he was pregnant?

    I must have answer’s! Maybe the Autostraddle team should create the movie.

    Jenny the crazy RIP

  33. umm is it just me who read this and thought YES!!! I’m glad the show we love to hate is coming back. Some people commenting here are bound to be tuning in as well. Yay for more recaps.

  36. Ilene Chaiken
    “bust it out”
    “to tell deeper stories”
    “lesbian life and experience.”

    KILL IT WITH FIRE!

  37. I want to know why Julie and Brandy’s movie can’t get made, but IFC keeps getting TV shows?!

  38. awe shoot

    it was such trash, i was really embarrassed watching it. i wish i could say i wont be wasting my time with this season but you know…

  39. Oh, lawdy. Can’t my inner 15 year old boy please be subjected to every episode of TLW where Kate French’s gorgous chest just happened to show up as well as the episodes choc-full of Jenny Schecter’s brilliance INSTEAD of The Real L Word? Please, Showtime? Pleaasseee?
    K, Thanks. :)

  40. bahahaha!!! i can’t believe this show is coming back, but i’m (not so) secretly glad because i totally enjoyed reading the recaps here. i might need to re-subcribe to showtime once it starts airing, because of course, watching it online for free is illegal.

    i too hope romi will be back because she is really hot, and scarlett as well. watching the show, i always consciously thought i didn’t like whitney and was borderline grossed out by her dreads because i imagine them to be smelly, but i had dreams on more than one occasion that featured whitney and i dating. i recall saying to her in one of my dreams, “wow, you’re really tall.” (she was of course wearing that leather jacket she always wears even though it was 98 degrees outside.) unsurprisingly, with smooth lines like that i totally won her over. they were the crazy kind of dreams that feel super real and i woke up and had to think for a few moments, “do whitney and i have plans for tonight or do i just know of her from a lame television show on subscription cable?” it felt super real-life, just like the dream i had one time where tegan and sara were staying at the same lakeside resort as i was but our cabins were filled with water and fish.

  43. I love this site. To you ladies, TRLW is the girl you know is no good for you *what will people think* after all, but you can’t help but be fascinated. So much processing and energy devoted to her, I mean, the show. Kinda like that closet case Asst.DA stalker and his gay boy crush.

  44. In Season 2, Whitney will matriculate in law school somewhere and learn the meaning of the word “commitment,” after she gets dropped from a class due to ditching three times to sleep with three different women who all look suspiciously similar. After convincing the dean that she “has changed,” Whitney will be re-admitted to said class where she will meet one of the new characters, another law student named _____ who will remind her (and the world) that all that marriage bullshit from the first season doesn’t make any goddammed sense because GAYS MARRIAGE IS NOT FEDERALLY RECOGNIZED for fuck’s sake. The show will then blatantly ignore this concept again and spend the rest of the season planning Mikey and Raquel’s wedding, but at least that means more Raquel. In an effort to lend the show an actual plot, the girls will simultaneously open a restaurant/compete to be the next Iron Chef, giving Cat Cora a run for her money (but Cat will win, of course). Tracy will spend an entire episode trying to pick out an outfit in which to meet Stamie’s parents, which hopefully will involve a lot of footage of her cute matching underwear….that’s all I got so far.

  45. “We’re looking to tell deeper stories”… With a strap on?

    Jesus, how much more humiliation

  46. This whole comment section is like every relationship i have ever had.
    I keep thinking the problem has been talked about to death and has gone away. Then, days later, I get a passive aggressive response in my Gmail to let me know it has not.

    Also, this is exactly what IFC wanted to happen, goddamn.

  47. The sadist in me is unnecessarily eager for another exploitative and poorly-edited season, but I have this gut feeling that Ilene will actually give us what we’re asking for this time. Can I get a Ruh-roh.

  48. Pingback: THE MOST CAKE » Blog Archive » The Week in Gay: the highlights of IVF, the Real L Word continues, and why you should come out to someone, now

  49. ok i adore this show!! i love mikey!! why is she not gonna be a part?? someone plz tell me this ik im a lot delayed on the fact of this show at all.. but i love it! and if ur gonna dis on lesbians ur on the wrong site.. im just sayin. its some bull htat ur really gonna sit there and act so immature about it. it happens. get over yourself.

  50. I can understand why most of you would hate the show based on what it presented on the different behaviors amongst the characters. I’ve been around lesbian and bi girls that act exactly like most of those characters. I can see the context of some of the points listed on some of the comments above. I personally agree with some and disagree with others, but I personally enjoyed the show, ’cause I’ve met girls like the ones identified on the show here in California (I went to elementary school with Sara) and when I used to live in Brazil, the show may not be a legitimit representation of the lesbian community, but it resembles a part of it, even if small.

  52. I love this comment section. I enjoyed watching TRLW for how terrible it was. I would love for a 2nd season so I may continue to laugh and point.

    “This is a positive representation of lesbians” Cut to scene of a girl using a strap-on on another girl

    “Deeper meaning” Cut to scene of girls in a creampie corn pool or whatever the fuck that was

    :D

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