Ranking and Roasting Hinge’s New Gay Prompts

If you’re on Hinge, first of all, solidarity (and I’m sorry). But also, you may have recently received a notification that Hinge is now offering prompts specifically for queer people! Hinge is calling these “Prompts with Pride,” a somewhat surprising call for a feature rolled out in…January, so far from the usual corporate allyship we’ve all come to expect from the summer months.

Anyway, as all Hinge prompts do, these run the gamut of “vaguely cringe-inducing” to “absolutely mortifying,” and that’s before we even begin to consider whether they are, at their root, kind of pandering? But it’s nice to be thought of, I guess. So without further ado, a rating of each new gay Hinge prompt, based on their ability to hypothetically find us love.

It feels affirming when others…
2/10

My big issue with quite a few of these is — is that how we use the word “affirming”? So many of these feel like someone took a list of hot queer buzzwords, tossed them in a computer program, and got these prompts spit back. I’m surprised “gaslight,” “tender,” or “boundaries” didn’t make the cut.

My Love Language is…
6/10

Okay, I’m sure straight people get this one too, but just like star signs and Meyers-Briggs and enneagrams, any personality test belongs to the gays, and this is always a solid option.

My chosen family is the best at…
1/10

Another buzzword-blender delight. Unless your entire chosen family is like, on your kickball team (and you guys won last year’s championships), it’s hard to imagine an illuminating answer here.

My favorite LGBT-owned places…
7/10

Fun! Supports local businesses! Automatically offers up a first date spot! Alternatively, you could take “places” less literally and just answer Autostraddle, a perfect conversation starter.

My favorite off-brand LGBTQ icon is…
4/10

You know that the only answer people will give to this is The Babadook.

The first time I knew I was gay was…
3/10

So we’re not even saving coming out stories til the first date? I have to say it NOW?

Every LGTBQ person should read…
2/10

Look, I love reading as much as the next gay, and if the prompt were just “My favorite LGTBQ+ book is,” then we’d be getting somewhere. But the only answers to this prompt as written are extremely esoteric, extremely basic, or extremely patronizing!

Gender euphoria looks like…
5/10

Remember that period of time where Facebook statuses had to start with “is,” so everything was kind of grammatically funky? Like I had to choose whether to post “Analyssa Lopez is I hate chemistry homework” or “Analyssa Lopez is hating chemistry homework.” This prompt has the same energy as that.

I connect to my community by…
3/10

This is inoffensive enough, but sounds a little more like a college application prompt than one that’s gonna get any of us on a date.

I feel proudest of who I am when / I take pride in…
6/10

Honestly these could be fun, I love a brag! I’m just tickled by the compulsion to couch it in Pride(™). Brag away, gays!

I wish I could tell the younger version of myself
4/10

Predicting a lot of “it gets better” earnestness or “it absolutely DOESN’T get better” ironic nihilism, both of which are fine I guess, but don’t really tell me anything about the person you are now.

Bonus: Let’s shock straight people by…
0/10

If I wanted to think about straight people while dating, I’d be trying to pick up dates at a straight bar! (This one technically is not in my Hinge prompt options, but the screenshots do not lie.)