Feature image credit: photo of Niecy Nash by Matt Winkelmeyer / Staff via Getty Images; photo of Gillian Anderson by JOEL SAGET / Contributor via Getty Images; photo of Cassandra Peterson by Rodin Eckenroth / Contributor via Getty Images; photo of Drew Barrymore by Gilbert Carrasquillo / Contributor via Getty Images
In honor of the news that Drew Barrymore is Aubrey Plaza’s mommi and Natasha Lyonne is her daddy, it’s time for a sexy game of *extremely game show announcer voice* Who’s! Your! Mommi! Answer some questions and find out what older famous queer woman you belong to, baby!
Has anyone else noticed the disturbing TikTok + Instagram trend of people being like “YEAH I like OLDER WOMEN and MILFS” and then proceeding to list women who are under 40-years-old????? I saw a video of someone saying Lili Reinhart is mommi, and look is Lili gorgeous and talented? Yes. But she is also 26-years-old. What is this, MILF-appreciation AMATEUR HOUR? I am absolutely of the belief that one does not actually have to be a mother in order to be a MILF energetically, but I cannot stand idly and watch as people who claim to love “older women” apparently also believe women do not live past the age of 35. As such, the mommis on this list — in addition to all being gay, bisexual, or queer duh — are all over the age of 45, many of them older than half a century, because that is what I believe to be true and right in my religion of MILF appreciation.
I had to make some tough calls on who is mommi and who is daddy when choosing possible results for this quiz, and IT WAS STRESSFUL!!!!! So please do not critique my choices!!!!! Also, yes, I will obviously follow this quiz up with a Who’s Your Daddy one but only if you are good!!!!!!
Drew Barrymore! V excited
Yay, Drew Barrymore! Although I will definitely continue to have room in my heart for ultimate milf Melissa Schemmenti.
When I got Tawny Cyprus I actually loud clapped and cheered from my kitchen table as if I won the super bowl (because I did).
Kayla the 4th wall breaking was so funny and perfect, chef’s kiss.
Of course it is Gillian Anderson. And I appreciate a switch
Thanks to this quiz I have the “Laura Dern” tribute by the LA Gay Men’s Choir stuck in my head 😂 a fine Sunday!
https://youtu.be/nlQotkWWDQI
MY FIANCE AND I SING THIS ALL THE TIME LOLOLOL
It’s become a staple in our house too 😂 every one in awhile I’ll just hear the line “the concept of a cursèd bird” lilt through my head for no reason
Gillian Anderson. One of my first crushes. Special Agent Dana Scully had me in a chokehold when I was just 4 years old.
Sarah Paulson and I couldn’t be happier to join this Holland Taylor throuple.
Honored to join this group marriage
Lily Tomlin! This is right and good.
Lily Tomlin! Just as it should be
Not sure Drew Barrymore is the one for me but as a 52-year-old queer I really want to shout out the opening of this post!True and Right!
Drew Barrymore! Although the “who is your “straight” mommie” question nearly made my brain short circuit trying to make a choice 😆
Tawny Cypress!
I took the quiz thrice with different answers and got Drew Barrymore each time.
IN CASE anyone was wondering, for lunch today i got a big and colorful salad as well as fancy cheese fries but whatever ends up being the most popular answer for that Q will be what i eat tomorrow ok thank u
We shall want to know, and follow suit.
Can’t believe you made me choose between Sandra Oh and Laura Dern Kayla!! (Eventually went with Sandra)
I got Drew Barrymore, which is fine, but I am jealous of people who got Tawny Cypress!!
Lily Tomlin, and I feel great about this answer, especially since I want to be her in my elder years.
Can’t wait for the Daddy quiz and to see what all the pairings become!!!
I got Niecy Nash, who I wouldn’t have expected, but I’ll take it. I’d let her be my therapist (Never Have I Ever).
Getting Drew Barrymore healed something inside of me I didn’t even know was broken.
“Pick a Queerleader”
I’m so torn between Prudence, the sad, yearning gay, and Cheryl, the overly dramatic gay.
niecy nash!!! finally something goes right for me!
I appreciate the opening paragraphs of this!!
Elvira! That IS beautiful 😤😤😤
Cool. Thought I was the only one to get Elvira.
Niecy Nash and Drew Barrymore have *both* decided to nurture me, praise lesbian jesus. Can’t wait to see who my Daddy is; they will absolutely be taking a backseat to my mommis.
I got Gillian Anderson which is a relief because I didn’t recognize a single mean TV mom aside from Emily Gilmore and I wasn’t gonna pick her
I’m so excited I got Drew Barrymore! That conversation/flirting/whatever that was between her & Aubrey Plaza that you so helpfully linked to in the results broke my brain. Like what even was that!?!?!?!
When that “Daddy” quiz comes out, Michelle Yeoh better be on it lol