Quiz: Which Winter Olympics Event Are You?

Is it Olympics time again already?! Time to work out which snow and ice-adjacent event is the one for you! Quiz results include fun facts about queer Olympic athletes!

Pick a snow animal(Required)
Pick a queer TV theme tune to skate your free program to(Required)
Pick a winter sports film(Required)
Pick a place to get snowed in with your winter sports rival, where there is only one bed(Required)
Whatā€™s your apres ski beverage?(Required)
Pick a winter sports themed lesbian romance novel(Required)
Pick your winter boots please!(Required)
Tonya or Nancy?(Required)
Which of these icy lakes do you least want to try walking on?(Required)
What's your ideal winter date activity?(Required)
Ooh, ice sculptures! Pick one!(Required)
Pick an ice skating move I just made up(Required)

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Sally

Sally lives in the UK. Her work has been featured in a Korean magazine about queer people and their pets, and a book about haunted prisons. She never intended for any of this to happen.

Sally has written 81 articles for us.

49 Comments

  3. Iā€™m Curling!

    Sally, this was a delight. Even though I was mad at you for not including Cutting Edge in the movie options, I forgave you when I got to choose one of my favorite sapphic romance novels, Edge of Glory.

    • There were too many figure skating films to choose from!!!

      Glad the book selection made up for it, I am really hoping Rachel Spangler and pals will cover some of the more obscure sports soon so we can get 100% Olympic sports coverage!

      • Exactly! I’ve read an mm curling romance but haven’t seen an ff pairing yet. Any sport where you shout “hurry hard” at your team mate is just crying out for a Sapphic romance.

        • Fire and Ice is a curling romance!! (you will have to work out which of the many ice/fire books it is from the list above)

          I would definitely recommend it as the best curling romance I’ve ever read.

          However, I can confirm the world is still in dire need of sapphic biathlon/cross-country skiing romance, plus any bobsleigh/luge/skeleton combo.

          • Seconding Spangler’s fire and ice curling romance. Mean Rachel Maddow Sportscaster meets Sport Girl With Boy Briefs. Can’t go wrong really.

          • 3rd-ing – i’ve spent some time watching curling vids on youtube b/c of that book… it’s just the amount of drama i can handle these days.

  4. I’m biathlon!

    Well I’ve tried langlaufing/cross country skiing once and I went backwards down a hill so that was enough for me. But I do like the idea of biathlon, if that makes sense?

  6. I am so pumped that I got biathlon because I love that weird-ass sport. yes, give me a Nordic woman who can ski a lot then shoot an animal and haul it back to our cabin for dinner, sign me up

  8. feeling very good about getting “ice hockey” as i am a dyke from florida who has only seen snow three times in my life – it has beer energy and i am here for it

  9. Curling! Happy to up the queer curling quota, even if not at the Olympics.

    Those book titles, lol. Looking forward to future lesbian winter sports titles such as:
    Ice on Fire
    Icy Fire
    Fiery Ice
    A Fire in Her Ice
    Icy the Fire Within
    Fire First, Ice Later
    Of Ice and Flame
    A Thong of Ice and Fire
    Fahrenheit 451 Dropping Suddenly to 0

  10. speed skating!

    i contend that if luge had women’s doubles it would be the gayest sport by FAR. based on my ‘must be an expert’ research last night, doubles luge involves laying bodily on top of your partner on a sled and then using tiny body movements to steer as you race down the ice at 75 mph/120 kmph! which is so gay!

    • That would be gay and therefore I think its exclusion is homophobic.

      That being said, I love that the solo women’s bobsleigh is called the “monobob”

    • Ooh there was an excellent commercial during the 2014 Olympics featuring the men’s doubles with “Don’t You Want Me” as the soundtrack. It was pretty hot. I can’t find it anywhere on the interwebs, so that tells you something.

      Perhaps women’s doubles would be so scorching, there’d actually be Fire on Ice.

  11. Bobsleigh

    Is this because i’m too lazy to do those other sportsšŸ˜† A little bit of running and then sit still for the rest of the ridešŸ˜…

  13. Biathlon for me !

    “This is definitely one for the wilderness queers who love trekking into the snowy woods and…er, shooting stuff?
    Anyway, competing in the 1992 and 1994 Winter Olympics, biathlete Joan Guetschow was one of the first openly lesbian Olympians! In Beijing, Megan Bankes will be flying the gay flag for Canada.
    Like you, I am disappointed there have been no out bisexual biathletes to make terrible bi-athlete puns about.”

    Biathletes with monobobs FTW !

  14. “Ice hockey is statistically the most gay women’s event in the Winter Olympics, so it’s statistically very likely you are gay if you got this result.”

    It tracks.

  15. Iā€™m curlingā€¦accurate, but really I just want to know what those boots are second from the bottom? And also, where can I get me some?

  16. I’ve always wanted to try bobsledding so I am happy with this answer.

    Clearly someone still have feelings about Tonya and Nancy…Michelle Kwan is always the correct answer!

    I was living out of the country when Nancy’s knee got smashed, but I knew all about about it because my mom *faxed* me multiple pages about it! Imagine my amusement! šŸ¤£

  17. I didn’t know like, any of these things, what they were, what they meant? and somehow I got snowboarding which is 100% accurate. it’s the only winter sport i’ve ever done and i love it.

  18. Biathlon, literally the only Olympic sport I’ll actually seek out to watch. What a nice and accurate quiz.

  19. As a former competitive figure skater of 12 years who has always wanted to try speed skating I was sad I didnā€™t get figure skating but delighted to get speed skating!! Looking up where I can try my new sport

  20. The way I was scrolling through the Tonya and Nancy answers thinking “Michelle Kwan” and then – MICHELLE KWAN

  21. I was not expecting to get ice hockey, but I am gay, so it is what it is.

    Also, the 1st question was the hardest because there’s too many good snow animals. Like, can I pick all of them?

Comments are closed.