Quiz: Which Villanelle/Eve Moment Are You?

We’re now over halfway into the final season of Killing Eve, so I thought it would be a swell time to look back on the some of the finest moments between Villanelle and Eve Polastri. There were honestly too many to choose from, so I spent an entire day agonizing over how to pick a personal top 8, much like I used to agonize over picking my top 8 friends on Myspace back in the day. But ALAS, I did it, and now I present this very important quiz to you. It’s a pick your own adventure style quiz in which you get to imagine you’re a hot international spy in pursuit of a hot international assassin. Sound familiar? And of course stay tuned for my next Killing Eve recap, which will drop sometime tomorrow afternoon!

So you’re a spy. Recently, you’ve become obsessed with a world renowned assassin. You have to catch her. But you also…maybe want to kiss her? But no, no time to focus on the job at hand. A sketch artist is here to draw the assassin, who you’ve been lucky enough to glimpse. What does the object of your obsession look like:(Required)

Tbh this assassin looks exactly like your ex (which is why you’re into them)

A curly haired brunette with strong biceps

A babe with a sleeve of tattoos

A red-haired femme with unhinged energy

A glasses-wearing person with poet energy

A combat boots-wearing butch with salt and pepper hair

A hottie with purple hair and a tongue piercing

Someone who looks like they’d play the hot villain in an action movie

You get intel that the assassin is going to be at a hotel in Paris in order to kill some man, idk, he doesn’t matter. Pack your bags, you’re going to Paris to get your girl ERRR I MEAN do your job. What non-spy gear can you not travel without?(Required)

A bottle of fancy Scotch

Plenty of snacks

Headphones

A book

Jewelry

Hand weights

A stuffed animal

A leather collar

Now pick a cool spy gadget to pack:(Required)

A switchblade disguised as lipstick

The electroshock gumballs from Spy Kids

A Batarang

Stylish sunglasses with a secret built-in camera

An earpiece disguised as an earring

An umbrella that turns into a sword

A necklace you intend to give to the assassin that’s actually a tracker

The cigarette dart gun from You Only Live Twice

You arrive in Paris, check into the hotel, and set up some surveillance gear with your partner. Pick a Bravo show to marathon while on stakeout:(Required)

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

Top Chef

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Below Deck: Mediterranean

Real Housewives Of New York

Vanderpump Rules

You’re not watching anything, because you’re too busy anticipating the target

Summer House

Your partner says they’ll monitor the screens while you take a break for dinner. The assassin still hasn’t shown up yet, and you’re anxious, but it’s your first time in Paris, and you want to treat yourself. You’re definitely not imagining this is a date with the assassin, no, no, it’s just dinner with yourself, nothing to see here. What are you wearing for this romantic dinner for one?(Required)

You find a little Parisian bistro tucked into an alley. You get a table for two…you know, just in case anyone else shows up. What do you order to drink?(Required)

A shot of something strong

A sidecar

A martini

Red wine

Water or seltzer

An espresso

A cola

Champagne

What do you order to eat?(Required)

Escargot

Coq au vin

Steak tartare

Mussels

Bouillabaisse

Ratatouille

French onion soup

Strawberry galette with chantilly cream

Someone walks through the door. It’s her, but you knew that would happen, didn’t you? Your target, your obsession. The assassin walks in and sits across from you. What do you do?(Required)

Cut her a piece of your food and offer it to her

Call the waiter over so she can order

Remain calm and ask how she has been

Pour her a glass of wine

Get up slowly and walk away

Throw your drink in her face

Tell her exactly what she wants to hear

Immediately start flirting

She invites you through a secret door in the bistro. You know you’re taking a risk, but you can’t stop yourself. The door leads to a small speakeasy where people are dancing. She invites you to dance. Of course you say yes. A song you love, the one that always reminds you of her if you’re being honest, is playing. What song is it?(Required)

“watch you sleep” by girl in red

“Perfect Wife” by Tasha

“Between You & Me” by Betty Who

“Altar” by Kehlani

“religion (you can lay your hands on me)” by Shura

“I’m Not In Love” by Kelsey Lu

“Make Me Feel” by Janelle Monae

“Hit The Back” by King Princess

Your cellphone rings. It’s your boss. You ignore it and turn it off. This feels like the better way of getting to the target, right? You need to get on the assassin’s good side. You decide to flirt. What do you ask?(Required)

“What’s your sign?” (Even though you definitely already know the answer)

“Could we have a real dinner together sometime?”

“What does it feel like to stab someone?”

“Do you have a favorite writer?”

“Do you think about me?”

“Can we arm wrestle?”

“How is your skin so soft?”

“Are you going to kill me?”

The assassin feels like you’re manipulating her. Uh oh. The vibe shifts. She feels betrayed. She runs out the door before you can stop her. Until next time, you suppose. Nothing can keep you apart for long. What’s your next move?(Required)

Chase the assassin down

Go back to the bistro and order dessert

Order a hit on the assassin from a rival assassin

Admit defeat, return to the hotel, and spend the rest of the trip exploring museums

Lie to your coworkers about seeing the assassin and just go home

Call up an expert on psychopaths that you know and ask them questions to help you understand the assassin’s psyche better — you just want to understand her

Figure out where the assassin is staying and send a large bouquet of flowers with a thank you card

Return home and play hard to get the next time the assassin tries to contact you

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