Quiz: Which Sapphic Anti-Hero Are You?

When I’m brainstorming quiz ideas, I always try to think of something that’s both fun and timely, like on theme with a big movie coming out, or something silly that’s happening in the wide world of sapphic pop culture, but this week’s quiz I made for my wife because she wanted to take a quiz that included Killing Eve, and — much like Eve and Villanelle — I am powerless to deny the whims of the love of my life. Hey, but I think you’ll like it too!

Quiz: Which Sapphic Anti-Hero Are You?

Pick a cape for your (anti) heroics!(Required)

Etro Paisley Cashmere-Blend Cape

The classic

Aether Down Poncho

Saint Laurent Satin-Lapel Single-Breasted Cape

Akris Abstract Intarsia Rib Cashmere Cape

Sacai Striped Knit Hoodie Cape

I’m more of a hoodie under a blazer (aka The Becky Hammon) kinda pal

Linen Medieval Wanderer’s Cape

Choose a lyric from Taylor Swift's "Anti-Hero."(Required)

I should not be left to my own devices / They come with prices and vices / I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby / And I’m a monster on the hill

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving / ‘Cause you got tired of my scheming

She’s laughing up at us from hell

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me

What's your ideal gay movie night?(Required)

A supercut of all the Carol scenes where Richard and Harge are dismissed and humiliated.

Pariah on my iPad in a bubble bath for about the 50th time, because I love Dee Rees and also luxurious home spa nights.

But I’m a Cheerleader with my girl and a smorgasbord of tasty treats.

The Watermelon Woman with my besties who don’t get angry when I talk over the movie about Cheryl Dunye’s artistic integrity and autonomy.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire because wow I love to sprawl out and splash around in historical angst.

Saving Face/The Half of It Double feature because I like to pretend love is a lie while drinking wine out of one of those Olivia Pope-size glasses.

DEBS on an outdoor rooftop screen with a beautiful sunset, my dearest friends, and we’re all singing The Cure at the top of our lungs.

Desert Hearts with my older girlfriend who I spend the whole time teasing and then we abandon the film halfway through for some heavy making out.

What do you want in your smoothie?(Required)

bananas, peanuts butter, yogurt

strawberry, peach, banana, fresh orange juice

blueberries, bananas, acai juice, pomegranate juice.

vanilla ice cream, milk, Oreos

black cherries, strawberries, apples, vanilla protein powder

pineapples, banana, papaya

coconut water, spinach, kiwi, avocado, green apple, cucumber, mint

spinach, bananas, oranges, matcha tea

Which of these mascots do you feel best represents your whole vibe, spiritually?(Required)

UCSC’s Sammy the Banana Slug

Franklin of the 76ers

Phillies Phanatic

UNCSA’s Pickle Di Tutti Pickles

Delta State Fighting Okra

Griz of the Memphis Grizzlies

Evergreen’s Speedy the Geoduck

Philadelphia Flyers’ Gritty

What are you writing into r/AmITheAsshole about?(Required)

I do, occasionally, watch as the people closest to me get pelted by the shrapnel of the emotional bombs I buried a long time ago. Much like dead bodies, they don’t always stay in their dirt holes!

I’ll do pretty much anything for power because I never want to feel as helpless and lost as I did when I was a teenager, ever again.

I mostly want to do the right thing, but I have absolutely no use for “rules” or “laws” or “societal expectations.”

I love to make men cry. :)

I like money, sue me. (Just kidding, don’t sue me, it will ruin our friendship because I will have to ruthlessly destroy you in court.)

I destroyed my life for love and I’m not sorry. Well, “life.” I hated my husband and my career so it wasn’t a catastrophic loss. (For me, I mean. it did kind of suck for everyone else.)

I’m going to protect the woman I love, no matter the cost. I’ll lie, I’ll scheme, I’ll gouge someone’s eyeballs out. When I say “no matter the cost,” I mean it.

I wrote a song about my ex being a monster and sang it when I knew she’d be in the audience.

Okay if you HAD TO wear a costume like an actual hero, what's your color palette?(Required)

What's the name of the cat at the bottom of this question?(Required)

Purrgood Marshall

Boomerang

Wambach

Villanelle

Lord Randolph of York

Why’s it laying like that with its belly out? Not very good survival instincts.

Bad Biscuits

Hermes

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