Quiz: What Sapphic Romance Novel Trope Is Your Destiny?

I’ve been on a real sapphic romance novel binge lately — and there’s no end in sight! I love queers and I love a good trope and I’m captain of Team Love Is Not a Lie here at Autostraddle, so I thought I’d combine my affections and recent obsession and make a little quiz for you.

Quiz: What Sapphic Romance Novel Trope Is Your Destiny?

Choose a favorite real life couple.(Required)

Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe

Kristie Mewis and Sam Kerr

Niecy Nash-Betts and Jessica Betts

Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor

Queen Latifah and Eboni Nichols (Photo by Johnny Nunez/Getty Images for BET)

Stephanie Allyne and Tig Notaro

Brittney and Cherelle Griner

Kristen Stewart and Dylan Meyer

Choose a coffee bean based on its tasting notes.(Required)

milk chocolate, honey, flowers

caramel, pie crust, dark chocolate

bourbon, citrus, pecan

butterscotch, peach, chocolate milk

apple, brown sugar, bitters

floral, blueberry, toasted almond

hazelnut, earthy, plum

berries, honey, root beer

Who's a villain, actually?(Required)

Rory Gilmore, Gilmore Girls

Captain America, The Avengers

Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Joe Fox, You’ve Got Mail

Maverick, Top Gun

Ross Geller, Friends

Odin, Thor

Glinda the Good Witch, The Wizard of Oz

What's your favorite way to wallow in your feelings?(Required)

With an absolutely devastating movie. Heartbreak, death, lesbians flinging themselves off the top of buildings like falcons, etc.

With a sad bubble bath and a sad glass of wine.

Looking at my puffy-eyed tear-stained face in the mirror and pondering how pitiful I am.

Making a nest on my couch with everything I’ll need to camp out there for as many days as I want.

Sitting on the floor of a hot shower, existentially.

No way, man, life is too short to be wallowing. A quick self-pep-talk and a few jumping jacks and I’m ready to get back out there and get my heart bruised all over again!

With the most bummer playlist imaginable. Songs about getting broken up with in every possible way.

Pacing around having pretend arguments, either in my head or mumbling them out loud to my cat.

Which famous TV/Film food would you most like to try?(Required)

Scooby Snax

Anything Melissa King ever cooked on Top Chef

Second Breakfast

Ratatouille’s ratatouille

Audrey Hepburns’s Tiffany-gazing croissant

Tiana’s gumbo and/or beignets

Any of Alice in Wonderland’s edibles

Tony’s Spaghetti and Smoochin’ Meatballs

Which Broadway song would you sing at karaoke?(Required)

Defying Gravity, Wicked

Let It Go, Frozen

On My Own, Les Miserables

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, The Wizard of Oz

Don’t Rain on My Parade (Santana’s Version), Funny Girl

You Can’t Stop The Beat, Hairspray

And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going, Dreamgirls

Journey To The Past, Anastasia

Which of these Florence Pugh pics are you most likely to drop in the group chat?(Required)

Choose a bouquet of flowers for yourself.(Required)

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