Quiz: What Horror Movie Stock Character Are You?

If I were a character in a horror movie, I’d probably die in the first act. I don’t even think the kill would be all that interesting. Let’s put it this way: As a child, I was so scared/anxious during games of tag that if the person who was “it” got even remotely close to me, I would just stop running altogether and say “OK YOU CAN TAG ME I’M IT OK!” That’s the energy I’m bringing to a horror movie, ok? Just like “yeah ok you can stab me I give up this is too stressful.”

Wanna know how YOU would fare in a horror film? Take the quiz below if you dare!

What Horror Movie Stock Character Are You?

You’ve just arrived at a cabin for a weekend getaway with friends, and you find a door that leads to a dark basement. What do you do?(Required)

Go down the stairs and then scream to scare your friends

Propose a game of truth or dare and then dare someone to go down

Make a joke about how it feels like you’re in a horror movie

Avoid the basement at all costs

Convince the whole group to go down into the basement

Tell everyone about the cabin’s interesting history, which you looked up before the trip

Warn everyone of the dangers of old staircases

Tell everyone a scary story that takes place in a cabin

You and your friends decide to go into the cabin’s basement. You find a bunch of stuff down there. What are you most interested in examining?(Required)

An old signed baseball glove

A pearl necklace

An action figure

You’re not examining shit down here

A hunting knife

A leather-bound book

Old photographs

A creepy doll

The door to the basement abruptly slams. What do you do?(Required)

Laugh

Scream at the top of your lungs

Say “spooOoOoky” in a silly voice

Pick up the hunting knife

Calmly explain that it was probably just because of a draft

Rush up the stairs to make sure the door isn’t locked

Tell everyone this feels dangerous

Start whistling/singing to lighten the mood

Someone checks, and the door is indeed locked. What do you do?(Required)

Suggest a game of strip poker with a deck of cards you found. Look, if you’re all trapped, might as well have some fun, right?

Start trying to text everyone you know even though your phone’s signal isn’t great

Start stress-vaping

Suggest that everyone try to find a weapon

Tell everyone you think there’s a second door deeper in the basement and suggest all going to look

Pick the lock

Argue with your friends for not listening to you about not going down in the first place

Sneak up on one of your friends and say “boo” just to add a little chaos

Uh-oh, now the single lightbulb in the basement dies and you’re all in the dark. Maybe it’s time to pick up a weapon after all. Good thing there are a lot of options down here for some reason. What do you choose?(Required)

A baseball bat

Your own shoe—you’re in a heel that could probably do some damage. Plus you better take them off if you’re going to have to run.

A cool sword

A gun

The hunting knife

An axe

A hammer

A pogo stick

Someone finally gets the door open. It wasn’t locked, just stuck. And it does seem pretty drafty in here after all. Maybe you all freaked out over nothing. Put the damn weapons away before you hurt yourself or someone else! Now that you’re out of the basement, it’s time for the weekend getaway to really start. What are you doing next?(Required)

Tapping a keg

Pouring tequila shots for everyone—that basement shit was scary af

Ordering a Domino’s pizza—you’re hungry

Checking all the exits so something like that doesn’t happen again

Collecting everyone’s phones and telling everyone you want them to be present and off social media this weekend—you’re here to relax and connect

Reading a book to chill out

Telling everyone you don’t think it’s safe to stay in this cabin and start checking Airbnb for other options

Going back down to the basement to get that doll—it was cool!

You finally all calm down and decide to watch a horror movie. Bold choice, but okay! Which 1980s flick do you suggest?(Required)

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Fright Night (1985)

Friday The 13th (1980)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986)

The Shining (1980)

Pet Sematary (1989)

Child’s Play (1988)

Okay, let’s get this weekend really started with a pajama party + movie night and pretend that whole basement thing didn’t happen. What pajamas did you bring for the weekend?(Required)

The doorbell rings mid-movie. Relax! It’s just a delivery person from Domino’s. What pizza topping(s) did you choose?(Required)

Sausage and pepperoni

Jalapeño

Ham, pepperoni, green pepper, mushroom, and extra sauce

Anchovies and olives

Nothing—you hate pizza

Spinach

Philly cheesesteak

Just plain cheese but you’re sprinkling Nerds candy on top

The first movie ends, and nothing too creepy has happened since the little basement incident, so you all decide to keep the horror marathon going with a 1990s pick this time. What movie do you suggest this time?(Required)

Tremors (1990)

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Scream (1996)

Scream 2 (1997)

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

It (1990)

Misery (1990)

The Sixth Sense (1999)

Who doesn’t love a movie marathon? Maybe if you keep watching horror films, it’ll be easier to ignore the cabin’s weird vibes???? Did anyone else hear that sound coming from downstairs? Haha no? Okay, time to suggest a 2000s movie!(Required)

Snakes On A Plane (2006)

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Zombieland (2009)

Scream 3 (2000)

American Psycho (2000)

Dawn Of The Dead (2004)

Trick R Treat (2007)

The Orphanage (2007)

It’s very late now, and you’re realizing that everyone is too scared to go to sleep. It’s a reluctant all-nighter! Pop a 2010s horror movie in.(Required)

The Cabin In The Woods (2011)

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

You’re Next (2011)

It Follows (2014)

Thelma (2017)

Get Out (2017)

The Babadook (2014)

No, for real, you can hear something moving around in the basement. What time is it even? Why are there no clocks in this cabin and why did you agree to let one of your friends take all your phones? Where are they? There’s that sound again!!!! What do you do?(Required)

Volunteer to check it out. You’re several beers in and not afraid of anything.

Ask your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner to go check it out. It turns you on when they’re brave.

Quote a horror movie

Mentally calculate how quickly you can get to your car if you need to make a break for it

Convince everyone to go back down again

List all possible logical explanations for the sounds but then agree to go check it out so long as someone else comes with you

Reiterate for the millionth time that no one should go into the basement—especially not alone

Say something cryptic

IF you make it out of this cabin alive—how are you celebrating? Like let’s be real, you’re probably not making it out of this cabin. But it’s nice to imagine :)(Required)

With your bros at a bar

Going out dancing

Hosting another horror movie marathon with lots of snacks

Celebrating?! You’re exhausted!

Suggesting another cabin weekend for the following month

Alone at home with a nice book and some tea. No more danger for you!

Finding new friends who will actually listen to you

Eating ice cream

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