Long distance relationships are often considered lesbian culture, but not every queer has the ability to make it work. Long distance relationships are hard! They require expert communication, compromise, and compatibility.
Having been in a long distance relationship for four years, I’ve deemed myself an expert, and put together this super scientific quiz to impart my knowledge. Do you have what it takes to do lesbian long distance? Or should you stick to lesbian local?
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Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. Her writing can also be found at Letterboxd Journal, Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Into, Refinery29, and them. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Instagram.
Drew Burnett Gregory has written 744 articles for us.
Comments
This quiz was made for me, someone who has dated seriously long distance and local and who loves rating how much I enjoy various forms of transit and imagining being stranded like a Yellowjacket!! The result is also completely accurate. I am, indeed, looking for a long-distance fling (hmu everybody). Thank you for making me feel seen. (Also, what is that picture next to the description from?)
A movie called Foreign Language that I haven’t actually seen yet, because I don’t think it’s out in the states or Canada?
i do not, it turns out so it is a good thing that i live with my wife now
Lesbian Long Distance Relationship ????
https://igre.gg/
Hour or two away but not international. As someone who tried and failed international yeah, this is true. I already have enough serious time difference with my friends!
Apparently I “absolutely have what it takes.” Which, given that my relationship was long distance for the 4 years of undergrad feels fair. Definitely wouldn’t want to go back to that if given the choice, though. We were apart again for a couple of weeks this past winter due to health issues with my in-laws and I didn’t love the visceral reminder of what that ongoing ache in my chest felt like. (Double plus not good when you add a kid to the mix. But we survived of course.)
Considering my current aversion to dating long distance, I am pleasantly unsurprised this quiz rated me as not having what it takes!
Ok but like: I took this quiz twice, bc the first result I got said I absolutely didn’t have what it takes to do long distance, and even though I wouldn’t actually want to do long distance anyway, I took it personally and was like “what?!?” lol. So then I took it again and gave pretty much the same answers, except saying I would make plans with friends instead of going to see them in the various scenarios listed, and having a long FaceTime call instead of trying to drive after my flight got delayed. So I guess the point of all of this is, is the key to being able to do long distance not trying to conquer the distance aspect? Please elaborate. What’s the internal logic? Thanks Drew!
Haha okay this probably means you had a few results that were close so changing one answer made a difference.
Basically, my logic for most of these questions was testing trust, patience, and desire to do long distance. So for the driving question, I feel like driving a long distance due to a flight delay is romantic, but not exactly feasible over the longterm because delays happen all the time. So that was a testing patience question.
Not at all shocked that I don’t have what it takes for long distance dating. I don’t even like traveling more than 30 minutes to go somewhere in my own city. I do it from time to time but I don’t enjoy it.
I got “I’m sorry you do not have what it takes” and I have been in a relationship for over a decade that started with years of international long distance dating… Multiple immigration processes later, we’ve now been married for years.
I got “You absolutely have what it takes to be in a lesbian long distance relationship!” which checks out. My partner and I were very international long distance for 9 years. We are now living together in a different country and about to celebrate our 10th anniversary later this year.
I got – You could do an hour or two away, but international longing is not for you.
…however I successfully managed to move abroad to be with my now wife of nearly 2 decades.