Listen, isn’t life strange and unsettling these days? Don’t you come here to these personality quizzes for a distraction? Doesn’t it seem completely fine and normal that when I asked my coworkers to help brainstorm potential quiz topics, someone’s first idea was: What 2023 Shortage Are You? with results like “eggs” and “Adderall”? Yes, yes, and YES.

Here I have for you a quiz that, yes, is still ultimately an escape, but it is an uncomfortable escape. I might ask you to consider, for example, whether everyone you know is mad at you. Or to look at photos of sinkholes. We have fun.

Warning: The movie/place combinations are, with a few exceptions, slightly upsetting in and of themselves and yet also soothing if you really think about it, okay? Don’t come looking for self-care but something more akin to self-scare or self-beware.

Shoutout to Laneia, who came up with the original concept for this quiz and also supplied a few example questions and choices that I ended up incorporating in the final version. Teamwork makes the dreamwork here at Autostraddle, and we’re all doing just GREAT, why do you ask?


Your spouse is acting weird. What’s the first explanation you assume? (You do not have to actually be married to answer this question; we are just having some make-believe fun of the horror-adjacent variety!)(Required)
You enter a movie theater. What’s upsetting you about it?(Required)
What’s under your bed?(Required)
What wakes you up at 2 a.m.?(Required)
Why are you panicked about misplacing your handwritten grocery list somewhere inside the grocery store itself?(Required)
Is everyone mad at you?(Required)
Choose a sink:(Required)
Choose a sinkhole:(Required)
Why are the vibes at this party off?(Required)
Who is the worst dinner guest to imagine?(Required)
You can only have one piece of art in your home for the rest of your life, and it has to be one of the images below. Choose:(Required)
What did you accidentally leave in a cab/Uber/Lyft/etc?(Required)