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The old joke is that Madison is “77 square miles surrounded by reality,” a conservative dig at Madison’s well-earned reputation for being an exceptionally progressive community. But gosh darn it, we like it here for a reason. Though it certainly has its problems, the truth of the matter is that Madison is a great little city. Or a great big town. We can never really decide which.

I’ve lived here since 2000, when I sort of randomly picked a school (Edgewood College) in the city because I wanted to live with two of my older friends who were already at the university and because I’d been living in Oklahoma for the past two years and walking through downtown Madison for the first time, with its coffee shops and feminist bookstore and alternative lifestyles on vivid display, was a bloody revelation.

This was the first city that I chose for myself, and I’ve never looked back. This is home, and for good reason.

Nightlife/Dating: Events on the reg’

It’s not a stretch to say that things can get a little… incestuous… in our dating scene. It’s a city of just 237,000, so narrow that down to the queer percentage and, well, some swapping/overlap is to be expected. If you’re younger, however, the constant rotation of college and grad students through the town maintains a nice mix. And if you’re older, Madison is a great place to put down roots. In fact, I’d say that’s the main thrust of queer life here – demographically we have far more female-identified LGBT residents than men, and a lot of people cohabitating and/or raising children.

Cheers With Queers (1524 Williamson St.)
Pretty much is what it says: A monthly happy hour (usually with a theme – the last one was “Golden Girls”) at one of the most notorious/awesome east side watering holes, Mickey’s Tavern, which also hosts a lot of live music (always free) and serves remarkably good food. The crowd generally at CWQ skews toward younger queer women. Held on the first Thursday of each month.

Nightlife/Dating: Nightclubbin’

The good news is that you and your alternative lifestyle are going to be perfectly welcome at almost any establishment in Madison (barring a few of the more heavily college bro-oriented places along University Ave. on campus, or some of the stuff on the outer fringes of the city). There are a number of great venues for live music, too: The High Noon Saloon, the Majestic Theater, the Barrymore Theater, the Frequency, Mickey’s Tavern, and the list goes on and on. The bad news is that in terms of more specifically LGBT-friendly and/or LGBT-specific spots the list is short but relatively all-inclusive. We simply don’t have the population size to support gender- or orientation-specific clubs.

Plan B (924 Williamson St.)
It’s a beautiful club with a hit-or-miss vibe. Lots of straight folks cruisin’ up in here, especially on “Ladies Night” (first Fridays). Music tends toward Top 40 dance hits, though the occasional touring (or local) DJ will come in and shake things up (like when KittyBump comes in from MN, and aaaalll the queer ladies come out). Also features regular drag performances from the talented Davina DeVille and her crew, and several other area performers, a “dirty” trivia night on Tuesdays, and an 18+ college night every Thursday.

The Inferno (1718 Commercial Ave.)
Venture a mere 5 minute drive from downtown to the near North Side for this great “alternative” club, which has the reputation as being our resident goth bar, but also does a whole lot more. Yes, you can catch the latest and greatest electronic/industrial/EBM acts at the Inferno – but also monthly shows from the Peach Pies Caburlesque troupe, first Saturdays “Leather & Lace” intro-to-fetish parties, punk shows, stand-up comedy nights, and let’sbehonest I’m producing a queer dance party every third Saturday of the month starting in January called REAL QUEER, so you should probably check that out.

Five Nightclub (5 Applegate Ct.)
Formerly known as Club 5, this baby lives a little further off the beaten path, toward the South Side, and has been around for what feels like forever. The crowd tends to lean toward the male end of the spectrum, and often hosts some of the bigger name drag queens when they come around on tour.

Woof’s (114 King St.)
It originally billed itself as a gay sports bar, but it’s pretty much a bear bar. There are carved wooden bears out front, in case you weren’t sure. They don’t hate on ladies who come in for drinks (unless you act like a jerk, I guess), but you will be very much in the minority here and might earn a side-eye or two.

The Shamrock (117 W. Main St.)
It wouldn’t be right if Madison didn’t have its own gay dive bar. Which isn’t to say that this place is gross – it’s just, well, it looks a lot like the other million dive bars that dot the Wisconsin landscape, but filled with queers, and I kind of love that about it. Get your Friday fish fry fix here, too, as well as surprisingly good brunch on Saturdays and Sundays – dance parties, friendly bartenders, and a generally good/mixed vibe. Also apparently the place has been around since 1898? I did not know that until I just looked it up. History!

Restaurants/Cafés

Madison boasts an incredibly high number of restaurants and, yes, bars – with a big focus on local vs. chain. My list below skews heavily toward the downtown/near east ‘hoods, but if you want a bigger picture check out the Isthmus’ online dining guide (Isthmus is our local alt-weekly rag), which has reviews but also a way to search for restaurants by location, meal type, and cuisine.

There are good options for every meal/drink you might be hankering for, but I have to say that what we excel at is breakfast/brunch. So, y’know, pretty queer. We’ll start there and work our way through the day:

Lazy Jane’s Café (1358 Williamson Street)
Mon-Thu 7am-3pm, Friday 7am-2pm, Sat & Sun 8am-2pm
Situated in the heart of the hippie/bohemian near east side, this breakfast (and lunch) spot is an absolute institution in Madison. It’s cozy as all get-out (basically a converted house), has great food and bakery (including a few vegan options), and the cooks positively scream your name out when your food is ready. Resist the urge to give your name as “Stella” or “Adrian” (or don’t). Cash only, totally worth it.

Manna Café & Bakery (611 N. Sherman Ave.)
Mon-Fri 6am to 5pm, Sat 7am to 3pm, Sun 7am to 2pm (brunch only)
OK so full disclosure, I sometimes work here. But I can say with certainty that the breakfast/brunch is one of the best in town, and just about everything is made from scratch, no punches pulled. Try the oatmeal pancakes, or one of the eggs benedicts, and pretty much anything from the also-from-scratch bakery (which features several super tasty gluten-free items). If you’re Jewish and/or have been exposed to/fallen in love with some traditional Jewish foods, this is also a great place to be: bialys on weekends, challah and brisket and matzo ball soup on Fridays, rugelach all the time, and a lovely lox and schmear sandwich at lunch, among other things.

Monty’s Blue Plate Diner (2089 Atwood Ave.)
Mon-Thu 7am–9pm, Fri 7am–10pm, Sat 7:30am–10pm, Sun 7:30am–9pm
My personal take is that this place is a little overrated, but I know I’d get yelled at a whole lot if I didn’t include it in this list. The food is perfectly good, don’t get me wrong, and it’s a generally nice atmosphere—very retro chic—but it can also be insanely busy on any given day and the food is mostly standard diner fare. Very vegetarian friendly, though. Try the milkshakes – that’s where they really shine.

Willalby’s Café (1351 Williamson St.)
Daily 6am-1pm, plus 11pm-4am Thurs thru Sat.
A vegan-friendly, punk rock greasy spoon with very little pretense (so sometimes service is a little slow, but always friendly) and one of the only non-Denny’s places in town to grab a bite in the wee hours of the morning after you’re done getting crunk but aren’t yet ready for bed. Giant pancakes, vegan French toast, and the “bomblette.” Do it.

Weary Traveler Freehouse (1201 Williamson St.)
Mondays 4 p.m. to bar time, Tues. through Sunday 11:30 a.m. to bar time
The place without a sign out front – don’t worry, though, it’s worth finding. Lovely atmosphere, delicious late-riser brunch on weekends, and killer lunch and dinner (late-night, too) of mostly local and/or organic deliciousness. Suffering from a cold? Get their tom-ka tofu soup. It’ll (gently) kick the snot right out of you. Cold winter’s day? Order their homemade grog. Seriously.

Green Owl Cafe (1970 Atwood Ave.)
Mon. closed, Tues. through Sat. 11am – 9pm, Sundays 9am-2pm
Madison’s only vegetarian/vegan-specific restaurant (which is kind of weird, but then again, a lot of our restaurants have plenty of veggie/vegan options) – this place focuses more on meat-substitute cooking, but all of the food is tasty, and it makes for a great place to bring those squirrely, uncomfortable-around-vegetarian-food members of your family. The desserts, all of them vegan, are insanely delicious.

Merchant (121 S. Pinckney St.)
Mon. through Fri. 11am – bar time, Sat. 2pm – bar time, Sun. 5pm – bar time (with Saturday brunch during Farmer’s Market season, 9am – 3pm)
I cannot stress enough how amazing the cocktails at this place are. They call their bartenders mixologists for a reason (other than just to be a little pretentious). Lots of a great local spirits and taps, plus inventive drinks. They also serve super tasty, locally-sourced food. On the pricey side*, but worth the splurge. Great place for impressing the hell out of a date.

*When I say “on the pricey side” I mean “for Madison,” which means like $8-12 for a fabulous drink, which is peanuts in a most bigger cities.

Café Porta Alba (558 N. Midvale Blvd. – Hilldale Mall)
Mon. through Sat. 11am – 10pm, Sun. 11am-8pm
I had to give something on the West Side a shout-out, but this place doesn’t need to pull anyone’s arms. Great Italian food overall, but the gold medal goes to their authentic Neapolitan-style, wood-fired pizzas. Holy moly. Don’t share, just order one for yourself and go nuts.

The Willy St. Co-op (East – 1221 Williamson St., West – 6825 University Ave. in Middleton)
Daily 7:30am – 9:30pm
We love our coop (now with two locations). It’s one of the biggest co-ops I’ve personally ever seen, and features tons of great, Wisconsin-grown/produced products. There’s a juice bar, bakery (lots of vegan and gluten free options), and a deli where you can pick up all sorts of goodies, including a daily vegan entrée, sandwiches and wraps, fresh sushi, and so much cheese. Excellent salad bar, too, plus a large natural/homeopathic/groovy health and wellness section.

Honorable Mentions: Alchemy, the Old Fashioned, Brasserie V, a la Brasa, Lao Laan-Xang.

College Life

The University of Wisconsin
This is the flagship campus of the UW System, and, according to Wikipedia, “is organized into 20 schools which enrolled 29,153 undergraduate, 8,710 graduate, and 2,570 professional students and granted 6,040 bachelor’s, 3,328 graduate and professional degrees in 2008.” So there you go.

The campus is pretty darn LGBT-friendly, though life there is not without its challenges for queer-identified students. Start your time off right by visiting the LGBT Campus Center right away. You can focus your studies on all things queer (you can get a certificate in LGBT studies, major in gender and women’s studies), and attend events like the Ten Percent Society’s dances, the Reel Love Film Festival or the Trans* Monologues.

Madison’s campus is one of the largest in the nation, but it’s mostly centered in the downtown area, at the opposite end of the State Street pedestrian mall from the State Capitol. Unsurprisingly, then, State Street is usually crawling with students during the school year, and tourists during the summer, but generally always a pleasant place to be/shop/eat (except around bar time, 2 a.m., when things can get super dicey/bro-tastic).

Edgewood College
This is a private, liberal arts college founded by the Sinsinawa Dominican Sisters, situated on the Near West Side of town, on its own little cozy, beautiful campus. It’s also where I went for undergrad (2000-2004), even though I’m not Catholic. The queer community there is (naturally) much smaller, but the atmosphere for queer kids has improved dramatically over even just the last decade.

Edgewood is known for its education, nursing, and art therapy programs – as well as its continuing education school.

I’ll just summarize and say: While the administration can be fairly conservative, the nuns are almost all radical, feminist, social justice crusaders – and a bunch of the professors (and department heads, etc.) are queer. I learned a lot while I was there.

Madison College (formerly MATC)
A top-notch technical college with a great transfer program between it and the UW. There’s one main campus downtown and another on the Far East Side. All sorts of folks of all ages go there.

Sports

YOU GUYS, there are so many queer and queer-friendly sports leagues in Madison – if you’re at all inclined to get active you pretty much have no excuse.

Mad Rollin’ Dolls and Mad Wrecking Dolls roller derby leagues
Madison boasts one of the original roller derby revival leagues in MRD, which enters its ninth season this December. The travel team—the Dairyland Dolls—was ranked number 10 in the nation last year. And bouts are just super fun. Interest in derby has grown so much over the last decade that a recreational league, MWD, was begun a few years ago. Anyone can join (whereas getting into MRD involves a highly competitive try-out process during the summer) for one of the seasonal sessions, and there are different levels to suit all comers. (full disclosure: I am a member of MWD).

Madison Gay Hockey Association
This co-ed hockey league also welcomes people of all gender identities and skill levels, and is super rad.

Madison Minotaurs Gay Rugby (for the boy-identified)

Wisconsin Women’s Rugby (for the girl-identified)

Madison Blaze Women’s football!

Bowling Out Loud

Badgerland Softball League

Health Services

For students, the LGBT Campus Center is the best place to go for recommendations and help. As a student, too, you’ll have access to the excellent UW Health System.

A Woman’s Touch (600 Williamson St.)
This place is pretty much The Best. Run by two ladies with lengthy backgrounds in health and sexual wellness, and a serious commitment to people getting their safe, consensual freak on, A Woman’s Touch is a rad, feminist, sex-positive sex toy and education shop. Shopping here is one of the most pleasant experiences you can have – they give you a piece of chocolate every time you buy something – and I’ve never once felt wigged out while perusing the shelves of naughty books, toys, plush vagina puppets, underthings, etc. Have questions? They can probably answer any of ‘em. It’s a wonderland.

AIDS Network (600 Williamson St.)
A longtime provider of HIV/AIDS prevention and care services in southern Wisconsin. The annual ACT bike ride raises money to support their work.

Activism/Feminism

There are a lot of smaller, less formal groups and organizations in Madison that work toward various LGBT and/or feminist goals. You pretty much need only show up and start talking to people to find them. Some of the larger groups tackling these issues are as follows:

Fair Wisconsin is probably the largest statewide group actively fighting on behalf of LGBT rights. There’s also the Gay/Straight Alliance for Safe Schools, Alianza Latina/Latino works on behalf of Latina/o LGBT youth, and the Wisconsin Women’s Network is a coalition of area organizations and individuals that works to “advance the status of women and girls” in the state.

Family

In terms of the LGBT population, once you get out of college things get much more family focused. There are so, so many queers raising kids here (it’s adorable). But don’t let that fool you – there’s plenty going on for whatever stage of your gay life you’re in.

In terms of your rights in the fair state of Wisconsin, it’s a really mixed bag: An anti-gay marriage amendment sadly passed back in 2006, but we were also the first state in the country to pass a law that banned discrimination in employment, housing, education, etc. based on sexual orientation. Both Madison and Milwaukee also ban discrimination based on gender identity.

Wisconsin also has a domestic partner registry, which offers some (but certainly not all) of the same rights as marriage. We also ban discrimination for any reason regarding adoption rights. You can check out a full list of our checkered history and current situation regarding LGBT rights here.

Wisconsin Rainbow Families
A group dedicated to helping LGBT families make friends, communicate, discover, educate, and organize. They organize regular events for LGBT families, like a water park day and a Halloween bash.

PFLAG Madison (Friends Meeting House, 1702 Roberts Court)
Yay PFLAG! They have the most adorable Farmer’s Market table. More importantly, they’re a great, positive force in the community.

Neighborhood/Community

This is, for the most part, how the different parts of town break down: Downtown, Near East Side, Near West Side, Middle/Far East, West Side, South Side, North Side – and each has its own unique character and flavor. The South Side tends to get the worst rap, and there are food deserts and crime problems in that area, but there’s also a great community struggling to gain more recognition and assistance from city government, which can sometimes have a myopic view of what all Madison is (surprise! it’s not entirely Caucasian—we have growing Hispanic and African American populations, and a large Hmong community, among others).

Gayborhoods
Madison doesn’t have anything official – for the most part, you’re relatively safe living anywhere in the area. There is, of course, the unofficially and affectionately named “Dyke Heights” behind the Barrymore Theater just off Atwood Ave. on the near-ish east side, where an inordinately large number of lesbian families live. Also many backyard chicken coops (it’s legal to keep them within city limits), and Bad Dog Frida, a lesbian-owned-and-operated pet accessories store. Heck, pretty much the entire near east side is super gay, too. Near west is gay-friendly but much more bohemian-bourgeoisie (see: expensive). You’re going to be OK just about anywhere in the city, though there are somewhat “rougher” spots along the edges—most notably the uber rich ‘hoods on the far west side and Maple Bluff (near north).

OutReach Community Center (600 Williamson St.) is a great central resource for all things LGBT in the Madison area. The center is a place to go just to read up on your queer history, get in touch with all sorts of queer people and organizations, get involved, get referred, and more.

I’d be remiss, too, if I didn’t mention Madison’s own LGBT magazine, Our Lives – which is extremely community focused and a great resource for the people, businesses, and events that make up our cozy, queer family. You can pick up (free) copies of the lovely, full-color publication at most cafes and a few waiting rooms around town, or subscribe (also for free) by mail.

Hair/Body Mod/Tattoos

Whether you’re looking for the latest and greatest in alternative lifestyle haircuts, or the old-school barbershop experience, we’ve got you covered:

Kode (2039 Winnebago St.)
Super LGBT-friendly, also family-friendly, eco-friendly, awesome hair-friendly. Very likely to run into derby girls here, too, if that’s your thing.

Cha Cha Beauty & Barber (912 Williamson St.)
Enjoy the rockabilly vibe, attractive/talented staff, and just step upstairs to Tailor Made for a tattoo while you’re at it.

Thorps (1988 Atwood Ave.)
Hipsters, rejoice! This place is going for that warm, welcoming, old-school vibe and generally hit the nail on the head. More male-identified in their décor/focus, but completely open to all-comers.

Capitol City Tattoo (1349 Williamson St.)

Blue Lotus Tattoo & Piercing (Downtown – 458 W. Gilman St., West – 6713 Odana Rd.)

Steve’s Tattoo (1205 Williamson St.)

Books

We are a lucky, literary people: Madison still has several independent bookstores, for both new and used titles, as well as the awesome, annual, and totally free Wisconsin Book Festival.

A Room of One’s Own (315 W. Gorham St.)
Mon thru Sat 10am-8pm, Sun 12pm to 5pm
I can’t stress enough what an awesome resource this place is: They carry new, general interest fiction and non-fiction but specialize in LGBT and women’s issues books. After a recent move they’re also in a much bigger space, and share it with a local peddler of used titles, Avol’s Books. Room hosts many readings by local and touring authors, open mic nights, poetry readings, and more. It’s also the go-to for rainbow paraphernalia, queer postcards, and a wide variety of queer lady focused magazines and zines.

Rainbow Bookstore Cooperative (426 W. Gilman St.)
Mon thru Thurs 10am-7pm, Fri & Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 12pm-5pm
Because of course a town with as protest-happy and progressive a history as Madison has its own cooperatively run radical bookstore. Lots of great, off-the-beaten path works on the shelves here, as well as tons of zines, newsletters, stickers, and more. You don’t have to be a member to shop there, but it helps (your wallet and the store itself). They host plenty of author talks as well, with a very lefty/liberal bent.

Arts

StageQ
Madison’s queer theatre troupe produces a variety of LGBT-focused plays, some fun and campy, some intense and challenging. Used to be pretty male-centric but has done a good job of expanding and becoming far more inclusive over the years.

QUEERSPEAK (Dutch’s Auto, 202 Regas Rd.)
A monthly open mic night for queer-identified folks and allies. Read poetry, sing a song, do stand-up, rant, whatever. Held on the fourth Wednesday of every month at Dutch’s Auto, 202 Regas Rd.

Dairyland Cowboys and Cowgirls
Got a soft spot for shit-kickers and big ol’ hats, country music and line dancing? Totally gay? This group should be right up your alley. Good times.

Proud Theater
“Proud Theater is a youth theater program designed to foster self-expression and self-empowerment for Madison-area youth. It is open to any youth who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer/questioning (LGBTQ), or who are the sons or daughters of LGBTQ parents, or allies of the LGBTQ community at large.” It’s also awesome – most of their performances are of scripts written by or contributed to by the youth participants.

Pride

Wisconsin Capitol Pride
Held every year in the mid-sized market Pride month of August, this weekend-long event tends to focus more on the family-friendly stuff: a fairly tame (but fun!) parade around the Capitol, picnics, music, etc. They’ve had some financial problems in the past, but there’s hope that new blood will help improve this event in the future.

Fruit Fest
Real talk: This event, just a few years old now, is fast becoming the unofficially official Pride shindig in Madison – it helps that it actually happens in June, and that organizers have brought in some seriously impressive entertainment. Held each summer in the parking lot next door to Plan B, there’s the daytime street fair, the “Fruit Loop 5k” (the most colorful and queer run I’ve ever seen), Camp Bingo, and lots of live music. Past performers have included Bitch, Erin McKeown, Tiffany (!), Athens Boys Choir, Cazwell, and Girl in a Coma, among others.

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