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Be prepared to delve into the eclectic and exciting city that is Minneapolis. Experience the vast queertopia where I have resided for nearly five years. Try to hide your excitement as you realize all of the queer opportunities this beautiful city provides. From the homeland of Paul Bunyan comes gayborhoods, queer dance parties, and burlesque shows, OH MY! I like things measured, so I decided to rate each section in this guide with 1 to 5 “you betchas!” I dare you to try to find a section that’s under 3.

MinneapolisCityScape

Datin’ and Hookin’ Up

The Minneapolis queer girl scene is fun and exciting with a wide variety of girls to meet. Alas, like most queer scenes, you can get a case of “it’s a small world” real quick. One great think about Minneapolis is that I’m constantly amazed to find new queer “groups” and people that I never knew existed before, even if they somehow still know everyone you know. There are a lot of beautiful northern people up here too, just so you know. Our different events host a variety of different queer girls, so if you’re not into one scene you can try a different one out. Just follow the guide below and you’ll be well on your way to having a great time in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Bars

Minneapolis has lots of “gay” bars, but you have to be kind of specific if you want to find the ladies. The list below tends to have the most queer girls hanging out just on regular, non-event nights. Use the google to find some of the other gay bars if you exhaust this list.

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The 19 Bar

The 19 Bar (19 West 15th Street) is probably where I spend most of my time in barlandia. It’s nestled in the Loring Park neighborhood (see below for gayborhoods) and is one of the oldest gay bars in town. It’s definitely more of a dive, it’s dimly lit from the ceiling, but I honestly think most of the light comes from the jukebox (packed full of Madonna and Prince). This is one of those beautiful bars where you can get a bag of popcorn for $1; yes, the microwave kind. They host pool tournaments and have a smoking porch out back, which is fantastic in the summer and offers lots of natural light when day drinking. Open Mon-Sun 12 pm to 2 am.

The19_Bar

Lush (990 Central Ave NE) is a fairly new bar in NE Minneapolis. They host a weekly lesbian event and have a really cool space. They have a patio where you can do a variety of things…smoke, make out on one of the many seating arrangements, drink, fill in the blank. There is an open fire bar to keep you warm (which is sometimes important in Minnesota), but be very careful for loose clothing, scarves or long hair near the flame. I would assume you understand why. Open Tue-Fri 4 pm to 2 am and Sat-Sun 10 am to 2 am.

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Lush

The Town House Bar (1415 University Ave W.) is in St. Paul (I know, shhhh), but it’s one of the only bars in the Twin Cities that was at one point deemed a “Lesbian Bar”. The crowd can be kind of weird sometimes and my typical mode of transportation is bike, so I rarely go here. They host a monthly event called Dragged Out that is featured below and totally worth seeing. Open Mon-Weds 3 pm to 1 am, Thurs-Fri 3 pm to 2 am and Sat-Sun 12 pm to 2 am.

Events

Soul Friday is held on the first Friday of every month at Hell’s Kitchen (80 South 9th St.). Hell’s Kitchen is another queer friendly great place to hang out. Soul Friday was created for queer women of color and friends. It’s a dance party with local DJ’s spinning great R & B, old and new hip-hop, house and more. The place is usually packed and it’s a great time.

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Berlin is held the last Saturday of every month. It was originally held at Club Underground in NE Minneapolis, but is currently moving to Hell’s Kitchen. Berlin is an Indie Queer Revolution Dance Party (say that three times fast). The music typically strays from top 40 stuff you’ll hear at most other clubs. It showcases alternative types of music, which makes it my favorite event of them all.

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Berlin

Blush is held every Friday at Lush (listed above). This event can sometimes be a bit of an amateur night, but it’s a great option if there’s not much else going on. Like I said it’s a really cool space and there’s bound to be lots of girls every Friday.

Dragged Out is held on the third Friday of every month at The Townhouse Bar (listed above). Dragged Out is a diverse cast of LGBT members that give amazing performances to great music. This event packs the Townhouse Bar. Every time I’ve attended it’s hard to even walk around. Bring lots of ones though, you’ll want to tip the performers. They’ve been travelling to perform as of late, but will always call The Townhouse their home.

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Dragged Out

Booby Trap used to be a monthly event held in the basement of a bear bar. Unfortunately it has now been changed to a quarterly event. During Pride this event is a blow out though. The Booby Trap Girls are always performing. Scantly dressed beauties dancing and swinging from poles. I really wish it was still a monthly event, or a weekly one for that matter.

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Booby Trap
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Booby Trap

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Gettin’ Smart

Minneapolis houses many different colleges. You can choose from a variety of technical schools, art schools and universities. Schools also range in price, from very affordable to stupid expensive. I think you would be hard pressed to find one without a LGBT community or club/group to join though. We even have our very own all women’s school, probably can’t go wrong there.

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MCTC

I give this section 4 “you betchas!”

Gettin’ Yo Game On

Minneapolis has a hidden gem called the Minnesota Machine. It’s an all women’s tackle football league. It would be a great way to meet new people and play a sport that isn’t available in many other places. They’re always looking for new players and no experience is necessary.

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Minnesota Machine

I feel obligated to mention the roller derby league, because it’s such a woman centric sport, BUT if you’re looking for a girl to date look in the stands, not on the track. I think there are typically more girls looking for girls in attendance than actually participating in the sport. Either way it’s still fun to watch girls in tight clothes hit each other. Minneapolis has two different leagues, the Minnesota Roller Girls and the North Star Roller Girls.

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Roller Derby

Biking is a very big deal in Minneapolis. The queer girls like it A LOT too and Minneapolis hosts two very unique bike races. Babes in Bikeland is an all women’s bike race hosted in the summer and Cirque Du SoGay, which is run by Queer Bike Gang in the fall. Cirque Du SoGay is a bike race for the LGBTQA crowd and is a fantastic time and it has a bitchin name.

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Babes in Bikeland

I’ll mention our WNBA team the Lynx too. In one word… gay.

You can probably also just stand at any softball field around 4 o’clock and find a pack of sporty dykes pumpin iron or “throwin the pig skin around”. You know, like they do.

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Eatin’ And Drinkin’ In Style

RESTAURANTS

Bryant Lake Bowl (810 W Lake St) is an awesome queer friendly restaurant/bowling alley. They have amazing brunch and a great list of Bloody Marys to choose from. They also host a cheap date night, you’ll look real thoughtful and savvy when you bring your date to this ambient atmosphere, especially if they don’t know you’re only spending $30 on both the entrees, appetizer, bowling AND a bottle of wine. Open from 8 am to 2 am every day.

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Bryant Lake Bowl

Muddy Waters (2933 Lyndale Ave S) You can find Muddy Waters laced in Atmosphere’s lyrics, if you’re into that mid-western hip-hop that’s become so popular. This coffee shop turned restaurant is one of my all time favorites. They have a classy coffee bar running parallel to the real bar. Any time of the day is good at Muddy Waters. It’s also a great place to bring a date with amazing dinner entrees and a fantastic beer selection. Open Mon – Fri 7 am to 2 am and Sat-Sun 8am to 2 am.

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Muddy Waters
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Muddy Waters

Seward Café (2129 E. Franklin Ave) is a punk, vegan/vegetarian, sit down and have a discussion about the intricacies of destroying the system or where you got your black boots type of place. The food here is AMAZING and it’s one of the oldest collectively run businesses in Minneapolis. Open Mon – Fri 7 am to 3 pm and Sat-Sun 8 am to 4 pm.

CAFES

Spyhouse (2451 Nicollet Ave) is a very well designed coffee shop. They have an adorable patio and standing coffee bar outside and comfortable and squishy things to sit on inside. Their trade-mark black cup makes you look extremely stylish when you drink the concoction of your choice. It’s a popular place to study and meet up with people during the day or night. They have delicious baked goods that are baked locally at one of our many co-ops. I would advise you to only go to the Nicollet location though – hence me only posting that address. Open Mon-Fri 6:30 am to 12 am Saturday 7 am to 12 am and Sunday 8 am to 12 am.

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Spyhouse

Café Southside (3405 Chicago Ave) is a fairly new coffee shop. Nestled next to the Trans Youth Support Network this is an amazing place for LGBTQA people to feel comfortable and accepted. It’s a queer owned coffee shop and while the owners said it’s not a LGBTQ specific spot they are definitely “really queer.” Exactly the type of place I like to spend time. It’s situated in the Powderhorn Neighborhood, which is one of our listed gayborhoods. With space for local artists to display their artwork and a garden right outside their doors this is a fantastic place to spend your time and money. Open Mon-Sun 7 am to 7 pm.

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Cafe Southside

Cafettos (708 W 22nd St) isn’t really a queer coffee shop, but you can find this queer chick named Meg here all of the time. She’ll be in the back booth waiting for you. Open Mon-Sun 6:30 am to 1 am.

May Day Café (3440 Bloomington Ave) is an adorable café in the Powderhorn neighborhood (see gayborhoods). It has a completely welcoming atmosphere and a great selection of food and beverages. This is a very suitable place to bring that vegan girl you just started dating. She’ll think you’re real hip to her socially conscious diet. Open Mon-Sun 7 am to 6 pm.

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May Day Cafe

Extra Guidin’

If you want more of Minneapolis, which who wouldn’t, head to Lunchboxx and see what’s being featured monthly in the city. Lunchboxx is a website run by queer girls, for queer girls. Every month they feature a new person, place and thing in the community. I happen to think very, very highly of this company and even if you aren’t in Minneapolis check the website out for super queer merch and an upcoming funny blog on the ins and outs of being a queer girl.

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Ladies who Lunchboxx

Lavender Magazine is a monthly, free magazine distributed at coffee shops and the like around the Minneapolis area. About 50% of it is advertisements, but it’s still an amazing resource to have in the city. Head to one of our listed coffee shops, pick up a Lavender and pull up Lunchboxx on your smart phone and you’ll be well on your way to navigating this fine, queer city.

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Getting’ Healthy

Minneapolis has a very strong trans* support system in place with several different resources to draw from. We have the Trans Youth Connection and Cinca De Shot. The Red Door (525 Portland Ave, 4th Floor) is a LGBTQ friendly public health clinic and HIV/STD testing center. Avenues for Homeless Youth has a LGBT host home program that provides transitional living arrangements for LGBT youth in safe, supportive, volunteer host homes.

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Stickin’ It To the Man

There are a couple feminist/activist groups in Minneapolis. The Twin Cities Avengers is an all-inclusive queer direct action group committed to dismantling all forms of oppression, so yeah, like them on facebook or something. MAP (Minneapolis Aids Project) is leading Minnesota’s fight to stop HIV through prevention, advocacy, awareness and services. Out Front Minnesota  is leading Minnesota toward LGBT equality.

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Livin’ Family Style

Minneapolis has a local PFLAG chapter. This is a space for parents of LGBT people to go. MN United for All Families is fighting the fight to ensure that LGBT Minnesotans will eventually have the right to marry.

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Cruisin’ the Gayborhoods

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Loring Park

Here in Minneapolis we have two gayborhoods, one being Loring Park. I would say that Loring Park is a pretty good mix of gay men and lesbians. It’s situated, as you may guess, on a park. The park is pretty awesome and plays host to the annual Pride Parade festivities. You can stroll down to the pond and throw pieces of your vegan scone to the ducks, but watch out for the geese. They might sneak up to you when you’re kissing your lady friend, and they’re not as nice as the ducks. And if you were afraid of the geese don’t even get me started on the squirrels. I’ve never seen wild animals quite so… organized. MCTC, a technical college that goes highly recommended by yours truly, is on the north side of the park along with a cute little urban dog park.

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Loring Park
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Loring Park

The other gayborhood is Powderhorn Park, which is also, as you may have surmised, on a park. The difference between these two hoods in Minneapolis bike lingo is like the difference between people that ride single speeds and those that ride fixed gears. Or maybe Loring Park would be the intense, power dyke who makes you nervous and excited at the same time and Powderhorn Park would be the hot hippy that makes sexy naked busts of females out of all different types of materials. It’s all relative in the end. Powderhorn hosts the May Day Parade which can be about as queer as the Pride Parade, but in a totally Powderhorn way. Check them both out and see which you like better.

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Powderhorn

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Places Not To Go

Here’s a detailed list of places I try to stay away from in Minneapolis; Hennepin County Jail (Free Cece), Dinkytown (College Bros and Hos Dominate this area), Downtown (just on Friday and Saturday nights it can get real lame, real fast), Breeder Avenue (Hennepin and Lake/Lagoon is probably the worst place you could go on the weekends), and St. Paul.

Lookin’ Sexy

There are lots of cool places to go to get your latest trendy tattoo or piercings. I tend to go to St. Sabrina’s (2645 Hennepin Ave S) most of the time, because they have an awesome jewelry selection to fill my hipster gauged ears. They can be a little pricy, but the staff is extremely helpful and nice and it’s a really cool shop. Open Mon-Thurs 11 am – 10 pm and Fri – Sun 11 am – 12 am.

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St. Sabrina’s

Leviticus Tattoo (4109 E Lake St) is another great choice. I’ve had many a girl tell me they love the work being done there. The lime green walls that are filled with artwork beckon you from the street. Be careful too, they take walk-ins, you might be lured just walking by. Open Mon – Sun 1 pm to 9 pm.

Uptown Tattoo (614 W 27th St) is where all of my cool tattoo artist friends go when they want to add to the canvas that is their skin. I think that’s a pretty good endorsement, but they’re usually booked pretty far out, so make sure you want that star on your ankle reeeeal bad.

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Uptown Tattoo

Moxie Hair Salon (2649 Lyndale Ave S) is where I go to get my dyke hawk cut. Before every hair cut they take you into this back room (it’s not creepy) and wash your hair and give you this amazing head massage while a hot towel rests over your weary eyes. It’s just fantastic. They have a couple of locations, but I think the other one is in St. Paul so… Open Mon-Sat 3 pm to 9 pm and Sun 12 pm to 6 pm.

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Moxie Hair Salon

Hair Police (611 West Lake Street) specializes in unique haircuts. This is where grown ups go to get those dreads you mom wouldn’t let happen to your hair in high school. Open Mon-Fri 12 pm to 8 pm and Sat 10 am to 6 pm.

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Hair Police

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Hittin’ the Books

Minneapolis doesn’t have any LGBT/Feminist specific bookstores anymore. The longest running bookstore, True Colors, closed just a few months ago, which is extremely unfortunate. It was run by a couple of very cool women and it’s missed dearly in the community.

I am an avid reader though and have had to find my books elsewhere. If you find yourself in Minneapolis and need a good book, head to Magers & Quinn (3038 Hennepin Ave S). They have this big, old style bookstore in the heart of uptown. Towering bookshelves and over-filled tables with affordable books will surround you like a comforting blanket.

Use the google and find some of our other independently owned bookstores. I believe we have around 10 of them.

I give this section 3 “you betchas!”

Gettin’ Artsy

Intermedia Arts (2822 Lyndale Ave S) host the Queer Voices reading series, which is the longest LGBT literary series in the nation. They focus on every aspect of the community. You won’t miss them on Lyndale with their ever-changing art running along their wall and “Art Changes Everything” in big black letters on the front.

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Intermedia Arts

The 20% Theater Company focuses on the work of female and transgender theater artists in the twin cities area. The Naked I: Wide Open IS an amazing performance and not something to be missed. An extremely unique gem in our city.

Black Hearts Burlesque is a burlesque troop with some real sexy members. They perform at various events around the city throughout the year. You can see them at Club Underground (Minneapolis’ very own goth bar) or at Grown and Sexy Pride during Pride weekend. Whenever they are performing it’s a fabulous time.

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Black Hearts Burlesque

Dykes Do Drag is a performance that runs at Bryant Lake Bowl (ever continuing the queerness) that is hilarious, sexy and completely entertaining. It ranges from skits to burlesque acts. A must see if traveling through Minneapolis.

I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Sexin’ It Up

There wasn’t a category for sex stores, but this store can totally hold down a category all of it’s own. Smitten Kitten (3010 Lyndale Ave S) is the perfect place to get all of your sex toys and supplies. It’s a queer run, progressive operation that pays attention to detail. You won’t find any gear here that will leach anything nasty into your system. They also have a fantastic book selection, and you will feel welcomed and comfortable the minute you enter the door. Jennifer Pritchett, the owner, has really made a difference in this industry and made a great space for queer people to boot. This place is like the Rolls Royce of sex stores.

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Smitten Kitten

I give this store 5 “you betchas!”

Havin’ Pride

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Pride in Minneapolis is a beautiful thing. Glitter, drag queens and kings, free stuff, puppies you can pet for $1 (I know! total bargain), queers every which way you turn your head, half-dressed people, food trucks, beer tent, bikes and babes. It’s everything you would want in a pride. Every pride we also have the Dyke March, which is hosted by the Twin Cities Avengers, pretty self-explanatory. There is live music at a couple different stages along with some great performances. Also, one of the best parts is that all of the above listed events that go on have special, blow out, pride events that are packed and even more fun than usual. It’s a fantastic weekend that we all look forward to all year long.

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I give this section 5 “you betchas!”

Bonus Facts

There’s a Mary Tyler Moore statue downtown, awesome pic op!

Prince has his studio in Minnesota.

We have that Minnesota Nice thang going for us up here, or all mid-western people just internalize their feelings and put a happy face on. Either way it’s nice!!

Did you see how many “you betchas!” Minneapolis got? Totally worth coming here.

There’s this huge spoon with a cherry on it, pic op!

We have a lot of lakes, come and count them.

Paul Bunyan lives here and a lot of the queer girls dress just like him.