Pretty Little Liars Episode 525 Recap: The Greatest Show on Earth

Mona Vanderwaal is alive and wearing a blonde wig and the yellow tank top everyone wore the Labor Day they were bashed in the head and buried in the yard. She even says she’s Alison, and invites the Liars to join her in “her” “sitting room” for a nice, normal cup of tea.

Hanna: Mona! Oh, man. Mona. Mona.
Mona: Stop calling me that! I am Alison!
Hanna: Prove it.
Mona: [slides her hand up Emily’s thigh]
Hanna: Okay, then.
Mona: Anyway, you know I hate that bitch Mona Vanderwaal. But who I love is the Grunwald because of how she pulled me, Alison DiLaurentis, out of the ground after my jackass mother covered me in dirt and left me for dead.
Emily’s eyes to Spencer’s eyes: This is her real hair.
Spencer’s eyes: I’m never taking study drugs again, ever.
Aria’s eyes: [are bigger then eleven Jupiters]

The loudspeaker in the doll house chimes four times and Mona hops up and walks out the door to a game room because four chimes is game time. The game they’ll be playing today is called Mystery Dream Date. What event will they be attending with these Dream Dates? Well, the doll house chimes two times, which means Tyra Mail time, and today’s Tyra Mail is invitations to prom. So that’s what the dates are for. While Spencer is looking around the room for any kind of clues, fixating for a nanosecond on some building blocks with letters on them, Hanna loses her goddamn mind. She turns to one of the cameras on the wall and starts screaming about how kidnapping one of the two loves of her life is enough, and if A tries any funny prom date business with Caleb, she is going to burn down the entire planet earth.

And then she turns her yelling toward Mona.

Hanna: You’re not Alison, you’re Mona!
Mona: Dude, stop. I’m Alison.
Hanna: YOU’RE NOT ALISON, YOU’RE MONA!
Mona: Seriously, Han, shut it down.
Hanna: YOU’RE NOT ALISON YOU’RE MONA YOU’RE NOT ALISON YOU’RE MONA YOU’RE NOT ALISON YOU’RE MONA YOU’RE NOT ALISON YOU’RE MONA!!!!!!

A deafening alarm goes off and Mona yells over the sirens that the only way to make it stop is for the Liars to go to their rooms. They run that way with their hands over their ears, step inside their rooms, turn to face each other, and their doors slam shut. The alarm is silenced.

Hanna falls asleep somehow, and is awakened to the light of a battery-powered lantern and a Mona Vanderwaal who knows she’s Mona Vanderwaal. She tells Hanna they’ve got three minutes to debrief with the other Liars, so she needs to move her buns. Okay, and get this: Mona explains to the other Liars that every single night, the power goes off for three minutes while the generator recharges, and so every night for three minutes, for all the months she has been here, she has been methodically exploring this hell hole bunker, running full-speed in one direction for 90 seconds, and then full speed back to her bedroom for the other 90 seconds.

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