Cut to backstage at the fashion show, where the girls are sitting at their private dressing stations pretending to powder their noses when Samara arrives, dressed for The Peach Pit After Dark with some random Lezzy-Looking chick on her arm.
Not only does “Quinn” introduce herself to Emily like they’re old friends from Montessori but she totally holds Samara’s hand like that hand doesn’t belong inside Emily.
Samara: “Looks like a big crowd out there, I may end up sitting on your lap.”
Quinn: “Wouldn’t be the first time, right?”
Um. Ew?
When Emily asks Aria and Hanna if they thought Samara/Quinn were a bit touchy feely they halfheartedly say no. Where’s Spencer? Spencer’s complete and total distrust of all human beings would help in this moment.
Hanna: “How come I have no date and you have a date that brought a date?”
Fantastic.
A few scenes later, Samara returns backstage to see her “handiwork” (that’s what she says) and Emily’s a bit standoffish:
Samara:Â “That is one lucky dress — Emily what’s wrong?”
Emily:Â “You and Quinn are just friends, right?”
Samara:Â “Since the second grade. We used to play dress-up. I was mrs and she was always mister. Would it bother you if I were seeing someone? Not that I am, but if I were –”
Emily:Â “I was just starting to feel like we may have something.”
Samara:Â “Me too. But we’ve only been out a few times and you didn’t want to get too serious too fast.”
Emily:Â “Right, I did say that.” [awkward pause] “I’m gonna go get ready.”
Samara: “See you out there.”
Oh ew, I hate it when that happens. You know when you say you want to ‘take it slow’ ’cause you basically want to be able to say all of your feelings all the time without it having to “mean” anything and you mostly say it out of self-protection but then she actually takes it, runs with it, and brings another girl home with it? And then you’re trapped: either fess up that you’ve fallen for a stranger essentially by default or go with the flow of the river you voluntarily dived into.
But also? Samara stalked Emily for weeks and made at least two references to visiting her in college in 2013, so you can’t blame Emily for getting the wrong idea.
But Christ how many hot femme lesbians live in the Rosewood area for Samara to “see”?
One of the most consistently striking things about these four girls (although Aria slightly less so, at times) is their Tyra Banks-esque ability to model through it. Maybe I’m insane and like, a depressive or something, but every time I worry Emily’s gonna break into a thousand pieces and drown/sob like I may have done at her age, girlfriend smiles with her eyes and models straight on through it.
On to The Fashion Show! The Fashion Show is 45 kinds of amazing and I’m not just saying that because of A’s multi-platform IMAX doomsday spectacular at the end. These outfits are either Halloween Costumes or High Fashion and it really doesn’t matter which. Lizz will figure that out for you.
We’ve got some Pan Am/Boogie Nights/post-hippie/bourgeois-beachwear shit going on and Emily’s dress is totally Quick Release, which is sexy.
This TV program may be called “Pretty Little Liars” but rarely is this prettiness actually mentioned or addressed. The Fashion Show is the first time in a long time where you can see that these girls are hot and they know it.
“Quinn” has seemingly vanished, maybe to dye her hair back to its natural color and return her vest to 2007, so Samara’s cozying up with Mrs.Fields. You can’t sit next to Mrs. Fields and see other people, that’s against the rules.
Everyone wins the Top Model Challenge! The prize is an unexpected spy-cam-style photo session with renowned fashion photographer A.
And listen. I’m no FashionCapper, but I know a tribute when I see one and this outfit is a straight-up callback to like, all of your favorite things, from the fingerless gloves to the sparkly headband. I had my Intern Grace create this breakdown for you and I think you’ll agree that it’s perfect:
During Allison’s end-of-show tribute The Liars are looking super foxy and everyone’s entertained. BUT NOT FOR LONG.
Suddenly everything gets all Red Light District Death Metal — someone hijacked that tribute video and turned it into a House of Horror. It’s the freakiest and most awesome thing to ever happen to these people and for once The Liars aren’t blamed for it.
Did anyone else see this…
And think about this?
It gets worse:
One last message for the girls after the room has cleared out:
A gets a bit Sadaam Husseiny with the votive candles ’cause she needs her name on absolutely everything to remind the civilians of her sovereign right to absolute power.
Obviously we silently prayed that Jenna would be in the fashion show with a gem-encrusted cane and Nicole Richie sunglasses but no such luck.
Back at the Fields Home, Emily asks her Mom, “When you and dad were dating did you see other people?”
Mom, who’s been consistently interested in the potential drawbacks of Emily’s various smokin’ hot paramours and second-guessed the reasoning behind all of Emily’s questions since the show began, just answers the question:
Pam: “Well, we had that conversation very early on. But I made it clear that if it was gonna be me, it could only be me.”
Good news — Mrs. Fields tells Emily that Ashley Marin, having done such a fabulous job of keeping a roof over Hanna’s head and hiding money in lasagna boxes, has volunteered to house Emily if Pam wants to make it to Texas in time for SXSW.
And really, how many sleepovers can Hanna and Emily have before love begins to blossom, you know? Or maybe I just think that because I’m gay, like Emily, and maybe also like you, or someone you know. Is someone you know gay? Is it A.? Whatever you say, it’s okay.
Half of these images come from the fantastically thorough Pretty Little Liars Fansite.
