For Them / Autostraddle
  • Autostraddle
  • For Them
  • Sign In
  • Subscribe
  • AF+

    • All AF+
    • AF+ Advice Box
    • Our Sex/Life
    • Go Long: Interviews
    • Baby Steps
    • Personal Essays
    • About AF+
  • Love & Sex

    • All Love + Sex
    • Dating
    • Friendship
    • Sex
    • Relationships
    • Weddings
    • Breakups
    • Sex Toys
  • Culture

    • Astrology, Tarot & Witchcraft
    • Community
    • First Person
    • Identity
    • LGBT Businesses
    • LGBT History
  • Entertainment

    • Celebrities
    • Comedy
    • Film
    • Geekery
    • Literature
    • Music
    • Sports
    • Style
    • Television
    • Theater
    • Visual Art
  • Games

    • Puzzles
    • Quizzes
  • Life

    • All Life
    • Home
    • Health
    • Holigays
    • Money & Work
    • Parenting & Family
    • Pregnancy
    • Travel
  • News

    • All News
    • Politics & Activism
    • Pop Culture Fix
    • Society & Culture
  • More

    • Issues
    • Greatest Hits
    • Epic Lists
    • Newsletters
    • Encyclopedia of Lesbian Cinema
    • Yearbook
  • Account

    • Manage My Account
    • Subscribe
    • About AF+

What is AS?

  • What is AS?
  • What is AF+ Membership?
  • Meet The Team
  • Write for Us
  • Advertise
  • Contact
  • Social Media
For Them
Autostraddle
  • regular
  • Daily Fix
  • link roundup
  • Lists/Top 10s
Bookmarks
  • AF+
    • Members Only Content Become a Member
    • All AF+
    • AF+ Advice Box
    • Our Sex/Life
    • Go Long: Interviews
    • Baby Steps
    • Personal Essays
  • Love & Sex
    • All Love + Sex
    • Dating
    • Friendship
    • Sex
    • Relationships
    • Weddings
    • Breakups
    • Sex Toys
  • Culture
    • Astrology, Tarot & Witchcraft
    • Community
    • First Person
    • Identity
    • LGBT Businesses
    • LGBT History
  • Entertainment
    • Celebrities
    • Comedy
    • Film
    • Geekery
    • Literature
    • Music
    • Sports
    • Style
    • Television
    • Theater
    • Visual Art
  • Games
    • Puzzles
    • Quizzes
  • Life
    • All Life
    • Home
    • Health
    • Holigays
    • Money & Work
    • Parenting & Family
    • Pregnancy
    • Travel
  • News
    • All News
    • Politics & Activism
    • Pop Culture Fix
    • Society & Culture
  • Issues
  • More
    • Greatest Hits
    • Epic Lists
    • Newsletters
    • Encyclopedia of Lesbian Cinema
    • Yearbook
issues

Powerful Perception

Marie Lou
—
Dec 7, 2018
COMMENT


bmif tombstone


edited by Yvonne.


but make it fashion
see entire issue
COMMENT
but make it fashion drag

Did You Like This?

Independent queer media needs your support to survive. Become a member now so we can make more gay stuff like this.

LEARN MORE
Marie Lou profile image

Marie Lou

Marie Lou is a French artist longing for more lesbian smut and general content (and archive! Forever more archive!). Meanwhile she laughs very hard, does bad puns and silly drawings. Sometimes she draws serious comics, commissioned illustrations and develops her fine art project about mapping people’s identity journeys.

Marie Lou has written 0 articles for us.

Comments

  • Snaelle
    December 7, 2018 at 7:49 am

    Ooof. This was powerful.

    Your acknowledgment, integration, and claiming of your experience, of the truth of your own perception.

    Your ability to draw out and express the meaning of your story, of the value of your viewpoint.

    Thank you for sharing your power, for sharing your multi-faceted being <3

    Loading…
    • Iarrann mé
      December 7, 2018 at 10:44 am

      Ooof was exactly what I thought too.

      I have spent more time than I like to think about dressing fairly masculinely for the specific purpose of being taken seriously by a boss I believed would see me as frivolous if there was anything feminine about my presentation. Pissed me off – not that I lean particularly femme, but if I feel like wearing a skirt I shouldn’t have to worry about the repercussions.

      Hang in there, Marie Lou, your power and worth exist regardless of how other people perceive your gender presentation.

      Loading…
  • Michelle
    December 7, 2018 at 8:23 am

    I love this so much! I’ve recently wondered about drag, but honestly had the concern that what would happen to you would happen to me–that suddenly I’d be read so much differently w/r/t power just cause my presentation became more masc. <3 Sorry you experienced that, friend.

    Loading…
  • ophelia
    December 7, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    ???

    Femininity ought to be considered equally powerful as masculinity!
    and get valued equally!
    Made me think of fig. 6 in https://www.buzzfeed.com/asiawmclain/how-to-raise-a-feminist-child

    Loading…
  • Luca
    December 7, 2018 at 5:23 pm

    Ohh this hit me right in the feels

    Loading…
  • K
    December 8, 2018 at 9:12 am

    love this!

    Loading…
  • Maura
    December 8, 2018 at 1:43 pm

    Damn while I have never done drag, I feel this so hard. I work with mainly cishet men and feel such a marked difference in how likely coworkers are to accept me as knowledgeable on a subject based on how feminine/masculine I dress that day. It’s totally discouraging to see clothing/presentation play such a big role in how seriously I am taken!

    Loading…
  • Faustine
    December 9, 2018 at 2:47 am

    Oh, gods, yes. I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means to appear conventionally powerful from a femme position, and given the amount of time I spend thinking about it I really should have some good ideas—but I don’t. Our cultural perceptions of power and masculinity are intrinsically linked. Strike a “male” pose, adapt “male” clothing.

    The powerful femme who remains femme is often the “spooky” one, the hard femme witchy goth whose power lies in defying patriarchal expectations. But the power to make people uncomfortable—much as I relished in it during high school—can be a very negative experience—as I also experienced during frequent random street harassment in high school—and it’s not what we conventionally think of as power and its uses are limited compared to the “male power”. Likewise you have the femme fatale, whose power is the control over conventional cishet sexuality. A type of power, certainly, but quite limited, like the outcast’s power, and lacking respect, just like the outcast’s. Plus, highlighting a femme’s ability to repel or entice cis men as “femme power” feels very patriarchal, sexist, heteronormative, and a lot like something a gender essentialist would do.

    So where does that leave us?? Adapting “masculine power” to fit our femininity, decade after decade, until it’s de-masculinised?

    Loading…
  • Sassypiglet1
    December 9, 2018 at 8:37 am

    These illustrations are really great!! Thank you so much for sharing

    Loading…
  • Lex
    December 13, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    It’s been rolling around my skull for a week now from awful purple prose on radiating power in feminine to simple our society ingrains us so deeply with the idea of masculinity as power even those of us who have divorced ourselves from mainstream societies can’t escape it.

    The only way I know how to radiate power while presenting or performing femininity is through villainy, embracing a soul devouring bitch goddess from hell attitude and aesthetic. And that aesthetic takes effort 5x the effort masculinity does from wardrobe & makeup to constant awareness of posture, and some of the efforts like heels I’m not really capable of anymore. If I slouch while performing any kind of femininity I look vulnerable and under-confident, but if my presentation is taken as masculine my slouching makes me look like a rebel or a rake.
    I’m louche, and cool.

    Sometimes we talk about how maleness like whiteness is treated as the neutral, the default but it’s not as simple as that. Perception of power and competence is wrapped up in them both.

    Loading…
Comments Closed

literature

Things I Read That I Love #278: Drunk In The Taco Bell Drive Thru, I Kiss It Directly On Its Bony Mouth

straddleverse

FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Let's Imagine a Coworking Space Just for Us

You May Also Like

  • good manners - horror is so gay
    issues

    Horrorscopes: What Queer Horror Film Should You Watch This Month, Based on Your Sign

    Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya
    Oct 7, 2025
  • 60 Queer Horror Movies and Shows To Stream This Month
    movie lists

    60 Queer Horror Movies and Shows To Stream This Month

    Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya and Drew Burnett Gregory
    Oct 3, 2025
  • lesbian movie make out list
    movie lists

    The Best Lesbian Movie Make Outs of All Time

    Drew Burnett Gregory
    Jul 6, 2025
  • Two Lesbian Critics Rank Every Stephen King Film Adaptation
    movie lists

    Two Lesbian Critics Rank Every Stephen King Film Adaptation

    Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya and Drew Burnett Gregory
    Feb 21, 2025
  • good manners - horror is so gay
    issues

    Horrorscopes: What Queer Horror Film Should You Watch This Month, Based on Your Sign

    Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya
    Oct 7, 2025
  • 60 Queer Horror Movies and Shows To Stream This Month
    movie lists

    60 Queer Horror Movies and Shows To Stream This Month

    Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya and Drew Burnett Gregory
    Oct 3, 2025
  • lesbian movie make out list
    movie lists

    The Best Lesbian Movie Make Outs of All Time

    Drew Burnett Gregory
    Jul 6, 2025
  • Two Lesbian Critics Rank Every Stephen King Film Adaptation
    movie lists

    Two Lesbian Critics Rank Every Stephen King Film Adaptation

    Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya and Drew Burnett Gregory
    Feb 21, 2025

You have 1 free article left this month

Want access to all our articles and an Ad-Free reading experience? Learn more

NOT A MEMBER? SUPPORT QUEER JOURNALISM

Want To Keep Reading?

Become a member for as little as $4/month

For Them & Autostraddle exist to fill the gap in a world that overlooks queer and trans needs, offering products and media that honor expansive identities and celebrate authentic self-expression.

Continue
LOG IN
LEARN MORE

You've read your last free article

Want To Keep Reading?

Become a member for as little as $4/month

For Them & Autostraddle exist to fill the gap in a world that overlooks queer and trans needs, offering products and media that honor expansive identities and celebrate authentic self-expression.

Continue
LEARN MORE

NOT A MEMBER? SUPPORT QUEER JOURNALISM

Did You Like This?

Become a member for as little as $4/month

Autostraddle & ForThem valiantly aim to produce top-tier media and products for queer and trans people overlooked by the mainstream. Join today to support an inclusive, expansive future.

Continue
LOG IN
LEARN MORE

You've read your last free article

Want To Keep Reading?

Become a member for as little as $4/month

For Them & Autostraddle exist to fill the gap in a world that overlooks queer and trans needs, offering products and media that honor expansive identities and celebrate authentic self-expression.

Continue
LEARN MORE
Ripped Paper Desktop Ripped Paper Mobile
Autostraddle
Instagram Facebook TikTok Twitter Email BlueSky
For Them

© ForThem 2026 | Cookie Policy | Privacy Policy | Comment Policy

Want to ask a Question?

The {form_name} is for members only.

Continue Log In

Want to Support Queer Media?

Saving articles is a members-only feature. Join AF+ to save articles and to support an inclusive, expansive future.

Continue
Already a member? Log In
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d