Playlist: Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation month and I feel bad for letting you know this late in the game. I really hope you’ve been celebrating at least once daily despite my tardiness. I hope you’ve been celebrating SO MUCH that:

• You’re 60% less stressed out.
• You’ve been 5 minutes late to every appointment this month.
• You’ve upgraded to the bulk size lube dispenser.
• You’ve had to restock your watch battery supply six times.
• Your fingers are all pruny like you just spent too much time in a hot tub.

In honor of MM, I’ve put together this playlist for you. And lemme tell ya, it was exciting — so exciting that I had to close the blinds and burn some incense and imagine Sadé serenading a clone of Sadé in a bathtub filled with rose petals and surrounded by 100 tea lights. So exciting that my sheets and all my underwear are in the laundry again.

Here’s to self-love: