This week as I was brainstorming lil things to write about Valentine’s Day, I had a brilliant/evil idea! I would make a playlist for the holiday by texting a slew of my friends: What do you think the most romantic song of all time is?

Everyone I asked is queer, but I told them they didn’t have to limit themselves to songs that are explicitly queer. The initial replies I got were all along the lines of:

Why are you doing this to me?

This is too hard!!!!!!!!!!!

ONLY ONE?

I’m feeling attacked

And, my personal favorite:

Can they be romantic but also sad?

In other words, I deeply upset everyone with this request. In the end, I did let people pick more than one song if they insisted upon it, for I did not wish for my friends to be in agony. I will not expose anyone by revealing what they individually chose, but you can find the results of this experiment in the playlist below.

The playlist presents an all-over-the-place collage of vibes and quite the spectrum of definitions of “romantic.” Here are some behind-the-scenes playlist details I would like to highlight:

  • The first two people to respond with actual songs both picked songs by The New Pornographers — unbeknownst to each other. So, briefly, this playlist was just two New Pornographers songs.
  • A pair of wives both said “Slow Show” by The National — also unbeknownst to each other.
  • Shortly after The Wives said “Slow Show,” another gay said “Slow Show.” “Slow Show” has my friend group in a chokehold.
  • Nine of the people I polled are friends I met on tumblr when I was a teenager, and multiple of them mentioned their selected song had imprinted on them due to a fanvid and/or character playlist.
  • “In The Air Tonight” was definitely said as a joke having to do with the famously romantic (jk) television program The Americans, but I left it in to add to the chaos.
  • One of the polled people was my sister’s gf Meredith Shock, who is a queer singer-songwriter herself. Most of her singles are about heartbreak lol, but that doesn’t inherently make them NOT romantic! Also, she promised more romantic songs are coming 👀
  • One of the polled people has a cat named Romance, so she is indeed an expert at romance.
  • I also asked my gf, who notably DID NOT pick Our Song (our song is a punk cover of “Mambo Italiano,” and it is our song because one time it played three times in a row when we were making out in the back of an East Village bar).

Romantic Chaos Tracklist

  1. Strange Currencies – R.E.M.
  2. Challengers – The New Pornographers
  3. Day Dreaming – Aretha Franklin
  4. Violently – Natalie Prass
  5. Distance – Emily King
  6. Lover – Jeff Buckley
  7. Can’t Help Falling In Love – Live At Daytrotter – Ingrid Michaelson
  8. Slow Show – The National
  9. Ice Cream – Sarah McLachlan
  10. Possession – Sarah McLachlan
  11. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
  12. We Found Love – Rihanna
  13. Gotta Have You – The Weepies
  14. 6 O’clock Blues – Solange
  15. The Only Exception – Paramore
  16. Can’t Help Falling in Love – Elvis Presley
  17. The Bleeding Heart Show – The New Pornographers
  18. With You – Jessica Simpson
  19. In The Air Tonight – Phil Collins
  20. Make You Feel My Love – Adele
  21. Body Party – Ciara
  22. Kiss from a Rose – Seal
  23. Séduction – Joanna
  24. L’Amour Looks Something Like You – Kate Bush
  25. Kiss – Scout Niblett
  26. That’s Us/Wild Combination – Arthur Russell
  27. Body – Syd
  28. Without You – Lana Del Rey
  29. A.M. 180 – Grandaddy
  30. Lover – Taylor Swift
  31. You Make Me Feel So Young – Frank Sinatra 

What would you add to the playlist?