OPEN THREAD: Get In Here and Spend Christmakwanzakah With a Bunch of Queermos

Carmen
Dec 24, 2015
COMMENT

feature image via lobster and swan

Happy holigays, y’all, and welcome to the 7th Annual Christmakwanzakah Open Thread! This is my favorite holigay tradition, in which all the queers in queerville gather to sing songs and talk shit together at Autostraddle dot com. It grows my heart three sizes every year, which I haven’t yet discussed with my doctor. BUT ANYWAY. It’s time for us to get weird together in the spirit of the season, so let’s have at it!

Also, can I just say that this is an actual thing where Mey lives. It's true. May we all some day find our Pocatello.
This port-a-potty tree is an actual thing where Mey lives. May we all some day find our Pocatello. Also, Geneva calls port-a-potties outhouses. I just wanted you to know.

I’ve been home with my mom for a week now preparing for Christmas and basically using the holigay season to put off doing stuff I’d like to get wrapped up (get it) before 2016, like writing about ten things I never wrote and also making a plan for the next year of my life. But that’s cool! It’s the holigays, and I’ve got like 70 cookies to bake and all of Geneva’s presents are wrapped and only slightly brushed in dog hair and I’m trying to figure out how to get Eli’s stocking holder to be stable enough to hold on to all of his new treats. Who has time for everything else? Especially when all the houses outside are lit up and all the ornaments inside are so shiny!

In my last bid to distract myself from the obligations of my everyday life, I will be spending the weekend checking back here on your family gossip, sending you GIFs of holiday cookies, and crossing my fingers that you stopped in to share pie recipes and pictures of your pets in sweaters while I was hanging stockings, putting away what is now a sad and pitiful forever stamp collection, overusing the Santa emoji, and also trying to start a fight with Stef every morning like the big man would himself.

https://twitter.com/silenziosa/status/675382694256201728

I also sincerely hope that you all will indulge me this year in what is formerly known as the holigay poll but has been renamed this year as the Festivus Poll (get it). This year’s topic is a hot-button issue in my heart, and I hope you answer me honestly because at Christmas, we tell the truth. Thank you in advance for helping me dress my dog.

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Festivus Poll: Which Holigay Outfit Suits Eli the Most?

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Okay, vegan cream puffs!  Now that this stuff is out of the way, let us get weird together!

I wanna hear about how good the food is at Christmas dinner, whether or not you’ve seen Star Wars, how many times your holigay season became Racist Uncle Season, and which shitty holiday episodes of various sitcoms you’ve been watching this year. (Or maybe that one’s just me.) I’m also intrigued by the intricacies of your everyday life, so feel free to regale me with very un-festive but still magnificently wonderful tales of girlfriends and final exams, gal pals and DIY projects, old flames and new adventures. I’m 100% here for it all.

HAPPY HOLIGAYS TO ALL, AND TO ALL SOME REPLIES!

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Carmen

Carmen spent six years with Autostraddle, most recently as Community Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Managing Digital Editor at Ms. , host of Bitch Media’s POPAGANDA podcast and Contributing Editor and co-founder of Argot magazine. Her words have also been published by BuzzFeed, ElixHER, Everyday Feminism, Girlboss, Mic, MEL, and Feministing, among others. Her successful work over the last decade in digital feminism—as a writer, social media maven and activist leader—has earned her the titles of “digital native,” “intimidating to some,” and “vapid and uninteresting.” Everything else you need to know about her you can find out at carmenfuckingrios.com.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.

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