OPEN THREAD: All I Want for Christmakwanzakah is You, So Get In Here

Carmen
Dec 24, 2014
COMMENT

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Happy holigays, bitches, and welcome to the 6th Annual Christmakwanzakah Open Thread! This is a safe and special place we create every year for you to use as refuge from your family, a recipe depository from your holigay feasts, and also a friend-making machine. Please do feel free to comment here with tales of holigays past, pictures of your weird uncle in a full Santa outfit, information about the drank in your cup, and/or holigay-themed photos of your pets. Here, I’ll go first!

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Current drink in my cup, by the way? It varies, but one thing stays the same: NOT. ENOUGH. BOOZE. IN. THE. WORLD.

If you’re like me, you’ll spend today desperately refreshing a package tracking link, sending a big ol’ batch of holiday cards (they’re not late unless you send them after December 26, it’s a technicality, I’m serious), attempting to view a claymation movie about the Heat Miser, and contemplating how to make it possible to bring hot, mulled wine to dinner tomorrow. If you’re like other people, you might be opening gifts, eating chinese food, petting a cat, or rocking around a tree. Honestly, no matter who you are in this world, you’re probably a winner, so. That’s about all I have to say about that. Now that we’ve covered this part of the day, TAKE THE HOLIGAY POLL!

I said Heat Miser because like, um. Duh? Like, I think that’s my Facebook profile picture. MOVING ALONG!

The holigay season open thread is an established tradition steeped in richness here at Autostraddle dot com, and I’m super duper totally honored to be hosting this digital soiree this year. When I think about the holigays, and I think about family, I think a lot about my chosen family — and so many of the people who work for and read this website are the people who come to mind when I’m writing cards, wrapping gifts, singing carols, checking my list and checking it twice, eating cookies left for me by strangers across the country, and doing other general business at the North Pole. And that’s special! So thank you for being here, and I hope you like these apple cookies I made because I had to skip making the eggnog cookies because I was just too busy eating at a bunch of diners with my mom. I hope you understand.

I’d like to offer up my own memories of Christmakwanzakah open threads past in commemoration of this occasion and remind you all that my person Geneva made this meme last year and it remains perfect. As an aside, I also frequently speak in doge and I think it’s kind of becoming a problem.

Ho Ho Ho! Very Cheer!

doge

So, what else is there to say? We’re here, we’re queer, we’re either about to stuff our faces or about to watch a lot of Netflix and at the end of the day, I’m madly in love with you. NOW LEAVE A COMMENT AND SPREAD THE LOVE, YOU GLORIOUS MOTHERFUCKERS.

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Lastly, Muppets. Because like, we are all made of Muppets, right? Unless they scare you. In which case, forgive me lover for I DON’T CARE.

Also, you should probably use the last days of the holigay season to share your memories and feelings online with the hashtag #HappyHoligays! Just saying. I’m totally not biased or trying to make this hashtag trend or anything, I promise.


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Carmen

Carmen spent six years with Autostraddle, most recently as Community Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Managing Digital Editor at Ms. , host of Bitch Media’s POPAGANDA podcast and Contributing Editor and co-founder of Argot magazine. Her words have also been published by BuzzFeed, ElixHER, Everyday Feminism, Girlboss, Mic, MEL, and Feministing, among others. Her successful work over the last decade in digital feminism—as a writer, social media maven and activist leader—has earned her the titles of “digital native,” “intimidating to some,” and “vapid and uninteresting.” Everything else you need to know about her you can find out at carmenfuckingrios.com.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.

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