Introduction From The Editors [if you skip this, the article won’t make sense!]: We’re big fans of The Lingerie Addict, Cora Harrington‘s blog about — you guessed it — lingerie! — which just-so-happens to be the most popular lingerie blog in the whole entire world. Recently Cora, who is cisgender and often posts photo shoots of herself in lingerie on her blog, wrote a really thought-provoking post about her experiences being called a “tr*nny” online by cyber-harassers and the “unique issues mesomorphic (muscular) women deal with in the lingerie and fashion and beauty industries.” Cora also mentions that she’d love to hear a response to her piece from a transgender person or a companion piece on the same topic. So, after reading her (awesome) post, I thought, let’s republish this post and also make that response happen, and so I had my Executive Editor hit up Mey (short for Melínda), a queer trans* femme blogger who I’ve been following on tumblr. I love Mey’s writings about identity, beauty and body image, as well as the posts of her outfits, and I knew she would have a valuable perspective on the issues Cora raised in her post. Mey was on board for the assignment, obviously, and so today we have two essays for you — Cora’s original post, and Mey’s companion piece. We hope you like them both!
for more trans*scribe posts, click here
TW: Hate Speech
cora/treacle tart [photo by cheri pearl]
by Cora/Treacle Tart
Whether it’s your first time here or you’ve been a reader for years, I firmly believe that talking about lingerie doesn’t mean just talking about bras and panties. Lingerie is also an excellent lens to talk about other, important things that are happening in our world. Very often, these other conversations center around topics like body image or self esteem or beauty standards, and I very much see today’s blog post as a continuation of those discussions.
In the conversation on beauty standards within the lingerie industry, especially as related to body shape and size, there are usually only two sides represented: thinner women and thicker women. But women don’t just come in two sizes or or two shapes or two body types, and all the body celebration talk can start to feel a little exclusionary if you have a build that’s neither ectomorphic (thin) or endomorphic (thick). And as I was thinking about some of the unique issues mesomorphic (muscular) women deal with in the lingerie and fashion and beauty industries, I also began to think about some of the related (but by no means identical) issues transgender women face in the same spaces. And all this stuff has been percolating in my mind for the last few months, until I finally felt like I had to talk about it.
In the previous paragraph, I mentioned transgender women. I’m not a transgender woman. The gender I was assigned at birth and the gender people see me as is also the one I personally identify with. I’m aware that puts me in a privileged position, so I want to be clear that I’m not speaking for or on behalf of anyone. This is specifically an article about my personal experience with the word. However, I understand how difficult and delicate talking about these topics can be, and I hope this article serves as a spark for conversation within the comments section or even a guest post from someone within the transgender community. I’ve also tried to be as aware and careful as possible in the language I’m using (which does include some offensive/potentially triggering words), but if I’ve made a misstep, please do tell me. And of course it goes without saying that transphobic and/or homophobic remarks, of any kind, will not be tolerated here.
The first photo that elicited the slur. IMAGE VIA POC PHOTO
As many of you know, there are lots of photos of me online, usually in the pinup style. I have pretty stable self-esteem, so I’m not terribly bothered when people call me ugly or what have you. If I’m not your cuppa, great. But about a year ago, as TLA was starting to get a lot bigger, I noticed the beginnings of a strange new pattern. People started calling me a “tr*nny” in the comments of some my photos. Even now, as I’m typing this, my brows kind of furrow into a confused expression.
It’s not that I’m offended and appalled anyone would think I’m transgender (because, obviously, there’s nothing wrong with being transgender), it’s just that I’m a bit taken aback people would attempt to use gender identity as an insult. 1) How is being transgender a bad thing? 2) Why in the world are you still using those slurs?
But as it happened more and more (never what I’d call “frequently,” but often enough to take notice) and as The Lingerie Addict established itself as an anti-bullying environment, that whole thing got me thinking about body snark. One of the most offensive aspects of body snark is that it’s used to delegitimize women (as the popular phrase like “real women have curves” makes clear). Suddenly, instead of just being a woman, full stop, there are degrees of ‘real’ womanhood to aspire to. And if you don’t make the cut, then I suppose you’re a fake woman. Which is just weird. And silly. And wrong.
The MAC ad Samantha refers to in her piece. IMAGE VIA HARDBODY.COM
As I mentioned early on, the conversation on body snark is very often limited to just thin and thick women (the “skinny vs. curvy” thing) as though women only come in only those two body types and no more. That makes women with my kind of build (muscular/athletic), feel like the ‘odd chick out’ because it’s not only alienating, it also makes us invisible…which makes insulting us easier. And as highlighted in a Blisstree article by Samantha Escobar last year, muscular women face a very specific kind of body snarking, described in detail in the excerpt below:
We all know that our society often fat shames people they deem overweight and sometimes body shame those declared too thin, but many men and women consider very muscular women to be “gross” or “unappealing.” I find this strange, since — while I don’t remotely condone it — fat and thin shamers tend to at least cite health as a typical reason for being assholes. When it comes to insulting muscular females, this logic makes no sense; typically, those women work out frequently and eat incredibly well in order to achieve the bodies they have. Why insult them?
Well, it goes back to that “balance” thing regarding our bodies. We’re “allowed” to be strong and toned, but give us some solid definition, and bam — suddenly females are not “feminine” enough anymore. They’re constantly accused of doing steroids or being men, which is both absurd and insulting. On television, ultra-muscular women are typically cast as transgender (which is by no means a negative identity, but most muscular women were not born men; plus, television tends to insult the transgender community through most of these plot lines, as well).
Way back when…
I definitely empathize with this Catch-22. In my past, pre-Lingerie Addict life, I was an avid martial artist, runner, and weight lifter. My particular body type allows me to build a lot of muscle very easily, and that also means I appear muscular and ‘in-shape’ with very little effort. I’m asked at least twice a week about my ‘killer arm routine’ when the honest truth is…I don’t have one. And I’ve had some very awkward conversations with guys saying they couldn’t date me because I was “too strong” and they were worried I’d “beat them up,” (as an aside, needing to have a partner that’s physically weaker than you is very interesting to me…but that’s a subject for another time).
What’s even more distressing is how often these claims of being “overly masculine” or “inappropriately muscular,” are also linked to race. While prepping this article, I spoke with a couple of models I know who are black, and they revealed that the “you look like a man” remark was unusually common for them as well…at least far more common than it was for white models they knew.
It’s like people are so confused/threatened when you don’t have an ideally feminine face or body or build, that it becomes open season on questioning your gender. It’s, in effect, saying “Your body is so unattractive to me that I have decided you don’t even count as a woman anymore. You are a fake woman. You are incorrect. And you need to conform.” Rest assured, it’s body snark, taken to a very ugly extreme. But that’s not the worst part of all this. My experiences with obnoxious gender policing aside, being called a “tr*nny” has made me think even more about how marginalized actual transgender people are.
The second photo. IMAGE VIA Viva Van Story.
When someone calls me that, whether they’re attempting to be insulting or not, I’m able to say “no” and move along with my day, confident in the knowledge that the conversation is over. But I wonder…if I really was transgender and said “yes,” what would happen? And it’s not a pleasant question to think about when you consider the extreme and horrifying violence that transgender people (especially transgender women), face in our society.
If I was a transgender woman and out and publicly visible about my transgenderness, would people feel like they had the right to be awful towards to me? To insult me or harrass me or encourage violence against me? While these particular possibilities are mostly a thought experiment for me in this context, they are very real concerns for transgender people. And I can’t imagine what it must be like to constantly worry people will turn against you and want to hurt you (verbally, physically, or otherwise) over circumstances you literally have no control over.
From my perspective, someone’s gender identity is their own personal business. Whatever’s happening below the neck has nothing to do with you. And asking if someone is transgender is not the kind of thing you casually inquire about via Facebook comment. Not all women are “thin” or “curvy.” Some of us are broad, muscular, powerful, athletic types. And if you do feel the need to ask if someone is transgender or not, first ask yourself why. Why is it your business? Why do you need to know? And will it change anything you think about this person? Finally, just avoid the word “tr*nny,” altogther (along with its analogues “shemale,” or “he/she”). Gender is more than your body shape, and one’s gender identity is not a slur. So let’s move past all that.
I know I’ve talked about a LOT of stuff in this article, so it’s definitely time for some conversation. What do you think about the snark against women with muscular body types? How do you feel when someone uses the words mentioned above as an insult? And have you ever personally encountered any of the things I’m talking about here? I’m looking forward to chatting in the comments.
About the Author: Cora Harrington is a 20-something knickers junkie and Seattle resident who started The Lingerie Addict because her friends were tired of listening to her talk about her lingerie. She also loves fruit roll-ups, makeup, costume jewelry, and comic books… though not necessarily in that order. Follow her on twitter.
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Tr*nny Means Someone Who Isn’t Accepted As A Woman
mey
by Melínda
The internet seems to be very confused about whether or not “tr*nny” is a slur, and even what it really means. Pop stars and members of the queer community use it as though it’s a harmless word that belongs to them.
We have Lady Gaga saying, “I just don’t feel that it’s all that sexy. It’s weird. And uncomfortable. I look at photos of myself, and I look like such a tr*nny!”
Katy Perry added that “I mean, I can’t be a full tr*nny every day of the week. That’s an exaggerated part of my personality. It’s me hamming it up.”
Ke$ha chimed in with “Freaks are what make everything mildly more interesting in life but with tr*nnies, they make me want to be a better woman.”
Perhaps most often, it’s used by website commenters when they disagree with the way a woman presents herself. But first of all, let me clear one thing up. That word is not just an innocent shortening of the word transgender. It’s not a term of endearment. It’s not a word that queer men or cis women should use to greet their friends. It’s a slur. It’s a derogatory term used specifically against trans women to try to put us down and take away our womanhood.
Online, the place I mostly see the word tr*nny isn’t in people spewing hate and saying that trans women deserve to burn in hell or should die. I mean, sure, there is definitely some of that, but I usually see it used as a way of insulting the way women (whether they are trans or cis) look. Whether it’s our fashion choices, our makeup, our height, our weight or our skin, everything is apparently up for grabs. It’s used if you’re too tall, if you have small boobs, if you have broad shoulders, a strong jaw, big hands, a short haircut, too little makeup, too much makeup, too many colors, too many sequins. If you think she’s too masculine, she doesn’t “pass” as a woman in your book and you can use the slur. If you think she’s too feminine, she’s just “performing” womanhood and you can use the slur. Either way, women are judged on how well we fit into a narrow and ridiculous idea of what femininity should be.
As a trans woman, not many things give me a headache the way the entire concept of passing does. Passing is the idea that if a trans woman (or any person who is presenting as a woman) looks, dresses and acts a certain way, people won’t be able to tell they are anything other than a completely “normal” woman. If you look at online trans communities or forums, you’ll find tons of tips on how to pass better – everything from hair removal tips to workouts to how to walk and sit more femininely.
All of this presupposes that there is only one right way to look like and be a woman. And it’s infuriating. On the one hand, whenever I go out in public or post pictures online, a part of me is deathly afraid that I’ll be insulted or worse. I desperately want to be accepted as the woman I am. On the other hand, I hate that in order to feel safe, I’m expected to fit into the very narrow box that is labeled “woman.” Tips on how to pass always seem to say that you should avoid building muscle mass and avoid wearing clothes and makeup that are too costumey, that you should try to hide your shoulders and soften your features. Trans women are often told that if we want to pass, we have to try our hardest to be petite, soft, have just the right amount of femininity, and not stand out too much. But what if I want to be a different kind of woman? What if I want to look like Grace Jones or Kate Moennig? What if I want to look like Beth Ditto or Dolly Parton? They’re all cis women; don’t they pass?
This is where the entire idea should fall apart. This is where people should realize that women can have muscles or fat or be masculine or wear outrageous makeup or wigs and still be women. But many people haven’t caught on. Instead of seeing diverse women and realizing that it’s okay to be a fat or tall or muscular or skinny or whatever-else-you-want-to-be woman, they cling to their outdated ideals and just start calling cis women “tr*nnies” if they don’t look “feminine” enough. Now, this isn’t really an insult, as being trans isn’t a bad thing. But people still try to use it as one. And for cis women, this must be strange.
In her article for The Lingerie Addict, Treacle addresses this by asking, “When someone calls me that, whether they’re attempting to be insulting or not, I’m able to say ‘no’ and move along with my day… But I wonder… if I really was transgender and said ‘yes,’ what would happen?” There are a lot of answers to this question.
In a worst case scenario, it can be deadly. A frighteningly large number of people think that it’s acceptable to beat or murder a woman because she’s trans, especially if she’s also of color. Having your transness be visible is seen as an open invitation for scorn and even violence. Since they attempted to “trick” you or “trap” you (another slur that really needs to be put to rest), and since they are a tr*nny and not a woman, it is somehow acceptable to hit them. Other times, it means that people will simply stop seeing you as a woman. They will forever see you as a tr*nny, or if you’re lucky, a “transgender.” In a best case scenario, you say “yes” and try to move on. You know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being trans and that they aren’t telling you anything you don’t know or haven’t heard before. They’re trying to insult you, but they are failing. Because in the end they’re just showing that they are so ignorant or foolish that they think they can take a part of your identity and use it as a slur.
Even owning transness as part of your identity doesn’t mean you can forget the connotation of the word in question, though. “Tr*nny” doesn’t just mean someone who is trans, it means someone who isn’t accepted as a woman. The word turns trans women into the “other.” By taking away our womanhood, by saying, “is this a woman or a really well-put-together tr*nny?” like the commenter does in the picture that goes with The Lingerie Addict’s article, they are saying that the two are distinct and separate categories. They are saying that I can’t be both. Furthermore, if you have to specify “really well-put-together,” you are implying that most are not. They are comparing a beautiful woman to me and saying that if she were like me, that wouldn’t be a good thing and that she would be less of a woman. They are saying that there is something wrong and insulting about a fundamental part of who I am. And that hurts.
These slurs are far from the only problem trans women face when it comes to being judged by online commenters, though. There’s another type of body snark, one that at first seems a lot less harmful. It happens when trans women post pictures of themselves and get comments from people saying things like “I never would have guessed you were trans!” or “You pass so well!” or worst of all “You don’t look trans at all!” These people are trying to compliment us, but really they’re saying that “looking trans” is a bad thing. They’re saying that looking like this thing that I am is something I should strive to avoid. They’re saying that there is one way to look trans, and that it’s undesirable. But I know trans women who range from 5’3″ to 6’6″, from a size zero to a size 28. I know trans women who are as femme as all get out and I know trans women who are as butch as they come. There is no one look that describes trans women. Just because a trans woman has less muscle or more hair or narrow shoulders or wide hips, that doesn’t make her any more of a woman. All trans women are women. Each is as real as the next.
When someone online calls you ugly or says that you have terrible taste, that’s subjective. You can try and brush it off as just their foolish, and wrong, opinion. But when someone calls you a tr*nny, and you are trans, in a way, they’re right. You are transgender. And they are using that part of your identity, that thing that is a part of you that you have no control over, in an attempt to drag you down. They are trying to say that your womanhood isn’t as valid as someone else’s. They’re wrong, but it still hurts. Even when they use the word to try and insult or criticize cis women it still hurts. A part of who you are is used as a word to delegitimize women. They might not be attacking you directly, but it certainly is a microaggression. It seeps all throughout internet culture and casually tries to reinforce the idea that trans women are not “real women” and that women who don’t fit strictly conventional beauty standards are not doing womanhood correctly. It hurts all women and especially hurts women who are already oppressed. It works to try to force all of us into narrow definitions of womanhood and femininity and it needs to stop.
About the author: Mey (short for Melínda) is a 26 year old queer trans Latina who lives in Idaho with her cat Sawyer. She loves scifi, fantasy, horror and comic books. Her hobbies include reading books and watching movies, going to concerts and being a comedy nerd. She’s afraid of heights, airplanes and whales.
“When Body Snark Becomes Even Uglier…” was originally published on thelingerieaddict.com. Republished WITH PERMISSION MOTHERF*CKERS.
Special Note: Autostraddle’s “First Person” personal essays do not necessarily reflect the ideals of Autostraddle or its editors, nor do any First Person writers intend to speak on behalf of anyone other than themselves. First Person writers are simply speaking honestly from their own hearts.
loved this, this was by far my fav article of the series. =)
so far anyway, but then again maybe i shouldn’t be comparing article greatness =s its a totally subjective thing ain’t it? i mean the article tis a wonderful thing, tis truly great, but how does one really measure article greatness fairly? oi, i’ve accidentally found myself in a philosophical debate with myself yet again….
oh woe is me for the article goddess’ have abandoned me for now i cannot come up with an article greatness formula in order to objectively prove how awesome this piece is. lets just say anything that incorporates awesome trans positive feminism and hot lingerie is amaze sauce shall we cause i’m going to get a migraine otherwise.
“All of this presupposes that there is only one right way to look like and be a woman.”
This is seriously the key to so many things. I thoroughly enjoyed both of these pieces.
Also the picture of Mey is just sitting there watching you like, “Lol, just being cute, hanging out in my roomsie…JK I’M HERE TO WATCH ME BLOW YOUR MIND.”
I felt the same way when I finished reading this. Like, oh HAI what’s up and.. oh learn THIS! :)
I loved this.
Another excellent piece. I can’t believe how casually I see that word thrown around.
I love this site so much. I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d be without it.
BRB sending this piece to someone I know who thinks it’s okay to throw around “tr*nny” because don’t you know he’s just being fun and silly.
Beautifully written and very thought provoking. 2 very intelligent and beautiful women!
I love this piece and all the others in the Trans*sribe series! They are helping me a lot in navigating my transition. Hope to see even more in the future!
I loved this response to Cora’s piece! I think it’s definitely an important thing to hear from trans* people about why these words are really so hurtful and what they say about the conception of ‘womanhood’.
Excellent pieces by both authors! I’m fortunate to live and work in an area that is fairly accepting of trans identities – at least binary ones. However, as a 6.5′ tall and not especially femme (oh to look like Kate Moennig!) trans woman I find that not fitting into the narrow definition of acceptable femaleness often means that my femaleness is disregarded even as my trans-ness is accepted.
I loved this. All of it. THANK YOU.
I really enjoyed both pieces, they were an excellent read.
I was really ready to not like this, but I really liked it. Waaaaay to go.
“Tr*nny Means Someone Who Isn’t Accepted As A Woman”
This… big time, with a cherry on top. I especially appreciate how it related to the the issue of non-trans women being gender-shamed and body/femme expression-ridiculed, and how that’s often ignored by people who want to ‘reclaim’ the word.
Now there are people who throw “tranny” around who don’t consider themselves women… many gay men including those who do drag (no comment), many trans guys (no comment x 2), some genderqueer-IDd people (find your own slur to reclaim… tranny is not genderqueer, it has very gender specific connotations), persons who feel they are third gender or woman-presenting but not ‘real’ women (eg some gender variant people in drag or porn culture). Which I get, tranny kind of falls into but, unfortunately, it also, at the same time, third genders a large number of people who don’t ID that way and consider it a put down instead of a voluntary self-ID. Oh yes, and Kate Bornstein, who has done more to spread the idea that tranny is a queer and pleasant word to use and how only old, poopy, sex-hating transsexuals don’t like it but those who are liberated can get hip credentials and honorary trans community/ally membership by liberally flaunting its use. Remember though that Kate, also, does not consider herself a woman and has written as such many times (she does prefer female pronouns though).
Moreover, tranny, as it’s discussed in these two excellent pieces, is a term of power (often cissexual domination as in mainstream porn) and putdown, whether it’s used against a cis woman’s legitimacy as a woman, a trans woman’s right to even experience herself as a woman, as a synonym for ugly, cheap or gross, by someone gaining hip entitlement by its use who refuses to acknowledge its hurtful impact for many people, or those who believe their need for hee-larity and pfunny werdz trumps someone else’s right to equal personhood. This is one of the best trans-related posts on AS!
I just need to say that your comments are always insightful, well worded and often bring to light parts of the conversation that need to be examined more thoroughly. So thanks for that, Gina! You rock.
Yes! Well said.
This is an excellent piece. I love the grounding of the word and the placement of all the inherent misogyny anchored in it. Thanks SO much to both wonderful authors.
as a very boyish cis-girl, I find the casual, unintentional insults the cruelest of all. I was at work and an old man asks one of my co-workers, literally two feet away from me, if I’ve “had an operation” because I’m wearing a name tag and “Amanda is a girl’s name” which is exactly the same kind of thoughtless invasion as strangers touching pregnant women like their swelling bellies are public property
**also clarifying the insult not being the question of gender presentation, only the gross inconsiderate mode of inquiry
Oh my god, Karen, you can’t just ask people if they’ve had an operation!
*golf claps*
Wow I really loved the diverse deconstruction of the issue provided by having two writers with somewhat different angles attack this. I’ve read a lot of trans related pieces on this type of thing (surprise!) and it’s great to see these really well put together pieces on put next to each other and that aspect felt unique and really well done in this case.
It is an easy thing to make mistakes with and that didn’t seem to happen here. Thanks for being so careful and much respect to the authors for how these pieces end up complementing each other so well.
Two incredible articles from an incredible series.
I am also so happy to have found another lingerie blog and another person as obsessed as I am!
Where does the idea of drag performance fit into all this? (“All this” being gender identity.)
I wonder because I have overheard someone say, derogatively, “that’s a real fish” referring to a man who looked too good in drag.
And then of course I wonder how they feel about those “real fish”, because that term feels a bit offensive. I mean, is a drag performer supposed to look like their performed gender BUT only to a certain point?– because to actually BE that thing you are performing is somehow beneath you?
Drag queens has a sometimes complex and even messy fit into trans feminine identities. There are drag queens who are cis gay men and clearly identify as such (RuPaul), some who are gender variant (I think of someone like Dorian Corey in “Paris is Burning” who was a 24/7 queen, but didn’t consider themselves to be trans), then there are also trans women involved in drag (such as trans Latina beauty queen Erica Andrews, who just passed away last week or Carmen Carrera who was on Drag Race but later came out as trans). Most of the trans women who do it tend to be more about the glam, “realness” and looks and less about the raunchy humor.
The term “fish” never used to be applied to cis women. It’s strictly a word from the Ballroom scene where terms like fishy or (yes, unfortunately) “cunty” were used to describe realness queens. It was certainly not considered an insult (within that scene) except for the fact that some gay male drag queens and non-trans ballroom participants thought the mostly trans women realness queens were a little stuck up and just “different.” So many of the terms from that scene (like kiki, and shade) are being used in wider settings by the broader drag and now general hipster community. And how they get applied and who they’re applied to have been altered. I’m suspecting in the case you heard, if it was used as an insult towards another drag queen, they probably meant to say either that: (a) They only think about how pretty they look and the rest of their act sucks; (b) They’re concerned about ‘realness’ to the detriment of their theatricality and flair; (c) They think they’re better than other queens because they’re perceived as borderline trans and might even transition.
How about: Drag queens have… yeeesh, multi-tasking failure.
I just want to hug this post, it is so great.
I’m really really into how actively inclusive Autostraddle is.
Love you all so much <3
Thanks for writing these essays!! Both pieces were insightful and amazing. Sending it to my friends.
Real talk: I was just on the phone with my best friend (a hetero cis girl) and she used the word…so I told her about the connotation and that it’s just a crappy thing to say. She didn’t realize that it’s an insulting descriptor. I feel like I can comfortably be like “yo, that’s shitty” if I hear it from anyone going forward.
tl;dr: Calling people out on their insulting language can be awkward but is always important. And straight cis women need knowledge dropped on them a lot.
Funny thing with language is that what you are exposed to within the context of the environment can make people think certain things are okay when in certain spaces, “NOOOO!!”
I have literally heard “tr*nny” in negative “you are gross/beneath me” way and never as a “oh hoo, self-depricating way on my looks, blah,” so reading this I was like “wha? people throw this word around, people who are not trans* women throw this word around!?! Damn.”
Yea sometimes calling people out is awkward as hell so I made a process to make it less awkward and some of it not too shaming where the person actually listens not get all annoyingly defensive.
Step 1: Make a face, mine is usually a side-eye confused look
Step 2: When making this face if the person asks “yo, what’s that face for?”
Step 3: Tell them that you are confused to why one would say such a problematic thing or “Not cool!”
Step 3: Hopefully they explain themselves and you can tell where to park it, just kidding, tell them why it’s not cool or problematic.
Sometimes I side-eye and say “what the fuck?” that sometimes works too!
All of this = beyond fantastic.
I really just need you as my life coach, lesbehonest.
Lol, I realized I put two step 3s. Thanks for the compliment but if anything I need a life coach, I’m a hot ass mess.
Sizzling bacon grease hot ass mess, lol.
That is awesome, and more power to you. I am a therapist, and like a 3rd of my job is finding tactful ways to call people on thing sin a way they can hear me, and you have a pretty good system in place there. I often struggle with not being angry when people hit on a status that is close to home.
I really appreciate the brief mention on how our western society feminine beauty is radicalized. Too many times I have hear the world tr*nny used to devalue the beauty and strength in cis and trans* black women. I really hate this notion of passing because again wtf is a woman suppose to look like? I have heard some really fucked up racist shit about passing and how it is tied into race and the “whiter” one looks the better off or closer they are to passing. It is paramount that we try to showcase an array of different types of women who are seen as just that, as women.
I’m not sure I can handle this much awesome at once. This post is a gift.
I really appreciated this post. I’m new here, and I don’t want to make any mistakes and I often feel paralyzed by fear of being incorrect during typing out a comment, but I do want to ask if anyone has ever read the novel Passing by Nella Larsen? I didn’t know (or think deeply enough to conclude on my own) that passing was a thing in the trans community as well.
I haven’t…but welcome to Autostraddle…
People here are pretty awesome generally and if you are polite and respectful in comments you’re not likely to have folks jump down your throat.
Thank you so much for posting both of these articles! Very thoughtful, insightful and well-written
p.s. Mey – I am also afraid of whales and never in my life have I met someone with a similar fear!
My sister is afraid of whales. A few years ago, when we were in our late 20s, I found a stuffed orca handpuppet in a box in our parents’ storage shed and she screamed and ran to lock herself in the bathroom. Good times.
Seriously, when I was a kid I saw a picture of a sperm whale in a Ripley’s Believe it or Not! book and, no lie, I have had nightmares about it as recently as last summer.
Highlight of my day, thanks for this! What a fantastic series!
What an absolutely awesome pair of articles!
great article. I loved reading two viewpoints on the same topic
I went to press like and… well… yeah. *shuffles feet to the sound of crickets chirping*
Anyway, thank you for posting such involved analyses, Cora and Mey! <3
Excellent article!!
As a trans-woman I firmly believe this article got it wrong. I have never had a problem with the word tranny. It’s just a shortened version of transsexual which I am proud to be. I understand the misuse of the word and it needs to stop, but I like it and it is super convenient. This article, in my opinion, is pushing a gender binary pulling trans people into the M-F world. I disagree with that part, but I think they could have done better understanding us trans-women. Good try.
But she was not speaking on behalf of trans-women, she was speaking from her own experience with the word, and how it has been used by ignorant douchewaffles to question her woman-ness, as if just because she isn’t a waifish wisp, because she’s fit, she must have been born male.
Tranny is a word that exists and has meaning beyond what we personally assign to it, no matter how “convenient” we may find it. There are many slurs and such of the same kind that could be described as you are describing it. It carries the institutionalized hatred of mostly female or feminine identified trans* people. Not all transsexuals.
The fact is the word Tranny carries a negative connotation, and is dismissive toward cis-women it is hurled at and trans* women that it is applied too, as the article is discussing.
I don’t believe anyone is using the disparaging ideology of Tranny as a means to reinforce the gender binary. I see it as the exact opposite. If someone wants to talk about Transsexuals, say Transsexuals, or trans, or any number of more neutral terms because Tranny pretty much erases Trans-Males entirely. Arguments can be made that it doesn’t but look at the use of the word through both derogatory and reclaimed spaces and it is almost always used exclusively toward transgender folks who are female or feminine identified. While it feels weird to argue for a slur to be more inclusive, the point is framing it as “neutral and meaning transsexual” is incorrect.
The word is specifically a gendered slur. It is not used as an attack on Trans-Males in any appreciably common use and as the articles above show that it is a misogynistic term focused on a women (trans* or not) that are not seen as “feminine” enough. It’s pretty much shorthand for “It’s a MAN baby.” (Bleh)
This is not an easy topic, as my personal feelings on anyone calling me a Tranny borders on homicidal. Arguing that it is ‘easy’ or ‘convenient’ sounds a lot like internalized trans-misogyny. If a person wants to reclaim it, more power to you, I don’t want to but I wouldn’t say that’s not your right. But to say that it is a fair shorthand for transsexual is simply not true.
Hey Jane, if it’s convenience you want… guess what, “trans” has one less syllable than “tranny.”
*SNIRK*
So reclaim the word for yourself then and good for you. You do not represent all women – cis, trans or anything else – so do not presume that because the word “tranny” holds no power over you that it does not hold power over others.
As a trans woman, I believe that you have every right to reclaim the slur for yourself. But as I explained in the article, it is much, much more than “just a shortened version of transsexual.” It’s used to put down, objectify, and oppress women (both trans and cis.) There seem to be a few comments on here saying that I don’t understand what the word means to trans women. But I am a trans woman, and that word has been used against me. I’m definitely not trying to say that I speak for all trans women, but I do speak for this one, and I like to think I understand myself as a trans woman pretty well.
I would like to thank Cora and Mey both for these awesome pieces exposing “tr*nny” for the attack on an individual’s womanhood that it is.
That having been said, I would offer another element to this: the t-word is not *only* an attack on a given woman’s womanhood (trying to dismiss her as a “man” or non-gendered or not sexually attractive or however)… the word is actually an attack on womanhood itself.
Think about it: there’s a reason that all the worst transphobic insults (“tr*nny” “shem*le” “shim” etc) are reserved for those who are perceived to move from male social space to female to social space.
As a specific example, recall the grandest trans-misogynistic shit-show of all time: the end of “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective,” which features Jim Carrey publicly outing, beating and sexually assaulting a trans woman in public right in front of the police (I don’t think he actually uses the t-word, but the dynamics are clear). Not only do the police not interfere, they actually retch when Carrey exposes her genitalia. But that isn’t *just* an attack on this woman because she’s trans, on the contrary, it’s just a matter of the ordinary violent and sexual abuse that our society largely accepts against cis women; it’s just being made public in the case of a trans woman. In other words, the fact that she was trans alone isn’t what “justifies” the assault, it merely changes the threshold for how much violence society accepts may be (publicly!) directed at her.
Hence, not only is the word “tr*nny” used to dismiss a woman’s womanhood, it actually represents the idea that womanhood itself is artificial, ridiculous, to be scorned, controlled, even violently assaulted. That’s why I often emphasize that what underlies trans-misogyny is nothing more than old-fashioned misogyny itself.
…
BAM, *snaps.*
Pack it up, the truth had been brought.
Is a variation on a theme, precisely.
YES! Preach!
Amazing article! Several of the comments on this and other recent trans*scribe posts have been incredibly informative and enlightening as well. Good on you, Autostraddle folks.
Beautifully written, both! I’ve really loved following the trans*scribe series so far.
Mey, if I wasn’t already promised elsewhere I’d be posting an engagement ring at you ;)
i really fucking loved this. thank you so much for responding in such a great way and for making this conversation complete!
THANK YOU for this article and THANK YOU for having a space for trans women to have a voice AS (and putting The Lingerie Addict on my radar doesn’t hurt either)!
T H A N K – Y O U ! ! !
Yet another very interesting read!
I’m in agreement with much of the microanalyses both in the original article and the subsequent comments. But as someone who lives part time in each gender (I’m two-spirited), my means of survival is to not focus on, nor get offended by, labels.
Simply put, an insult is only an insult if it’s intended to be. And that intention is almost always quite obvious. The uneducated use of a particular term is no reason to take offense.
As it relates to genetic women, I find insults based on any and all body type to be offensive and, regardless which term is used, implying they are “less of a woman” is a most vicious attack.
I’ve been told “you’re very cool for a tr*anny!”. In my heart, I accept that as a compliment. But should I feel guilty about my feelings? Should I be angered that this implies negativity towards my peers? Since I don’t know what caused these people to have that negative opinion of whatever they consider to be a tr*nny, I have to reserve judgment.
Just my thoughts, of course.
Ok, so I left a reply that was rather detailed but i don’t see it here…
into the ether i suppose…
I really enjoyed this piece. I hate body shaming so much, and I think its tragic that any sign of strength and empowerment in women, even in terms of bodily muscularity is immediately attacked int his culture.
Trying to make peace with my body is a full time job for me right now and I am not dealing with the layers of gender that my trans friends are. I can’t even imagine how much harder that must be for many.
It has been a very long time since I felt any attachment to words like tranny or transsexual. It is equally long since anyone referred to me in that way. So while I feel it is one of many offensive words it has no hold over me.
By the way, the way in which you use passing is the same way that cross dressing men use it. I am not clear based on your article but I dont think you understand what it is for a trans woman. I can say this, if you dont think you are female, think it clearly, in your own mind, if you dont let go of the label trans, you will never pass as any kind of female thin or fat, tall or short, smart or stupid. If an individual is unable to simply think of themselves as female then they never pass and looks or height or weight or age have nothing to do with it.
It is quite painful to read about people who refer to themselves as a trans woman or transsexual female or anything other than simply female. If a person uses that label for themselves what they are saying is that they dont believe they are female. Only those who arew uncomfortable with themselves feel any need to even talk about it.
Hmm, passing privilege…I am not even sure where to start.
Okay, so you have lived your life freely for a long time. That is wonderful. However, perhaps you should think about why you felt the need to brag about “passing”…and in fact brag about it so strongly as to say that you have left the entire concept of “passing” behind.
I am guilty of this same way of framing my interactions with other people like us. Heck, you can look at my posts responding to a previous article on this site (the one about dating) and see me doing exactly the same thing. However, I did not then follow up those framing comments by putting down other women. Your quote below is what I am talking about.
“If an individual is unable to simply think of themselves as female then they never pass and looks or height or weight or age have nothing to do with it. ”
The flip side of this claim is that if someone doesn’t pass then they aren’t really thinking of herself as female. This is just cruel. If someone got really unlucky with what puberty did to them before they took control of their life…they may have difficulty being treated as themself no matter how strong their self-image.
Also, many people can’t just stop talking about their childhood or whatever other parts of their life occurred before transition. Many people like us were abused, stigmatized or in some other way hurt beforehand…and not talking about those experiences is unhealthy.
Lastly, we are finally beginning to pass laws to protect the rights of people like us. For this to happen some people have to stand up and talk openly. Yes, some people have been able to live full, happy lives for decades without good laws on the books…but if they were born in Ohio or some other awful state they had break the law to do that. The cat is out of the bag, we aren’t hiding as much anymore. (And yes I am aware of the irony of someone who is “stealth” championing the efforts of people who are open publicly.)
A lot of people throw around trans and related words in ways that make me cringe…but not all of us are the same, and the labels don’t mean the same thing to all of us. I always used to just say “girl like me” when talking to my friends and though it was an awkward construct to use over and over in a conversation I have recently stumbled upon the twitter feed for “girlslikeus”. After laughing about that a lot, I read a bunch of it. Do I like everything said on there? No. But it is still wonderful to see.
Please consider respecting other people’s way of referring to themselves. And please remember that “passing privilege” is powerful and sometimes hurtful thing.
I’m not really sure what passing means in the context of crossdressing men, as I don’t really have any experience in that community, but the way I used it is the way it has been used against me and how I’ve seen it used to describe my fellow trans women. Believe me, as a trans woman who doesn’t always pass, I have a very real understanding of what it means. The point of my article was to say that I can’t stand the concept of passing and that I try my best to reject the idea that if I want to be seen as a woman by others that I have to look a certain way. I try to dress as the woman I want to be, not as the woman society wants me to be, regardless of how well I will “pass” in the eyes of others. How well others think I pass has very, very little to do with whether or not I see myself as a woman.
I don’t know how identifying as trans makes it seem like I don’t see myself as a woman. As I said in the article, being trans doesn’t make me any less female, no matter what kind of insults people use against me. Trans, to me, is just another of many identifiers for me. I am a brown-haired woman, I am a queer woman, I am a Mexican-American woman, I am a fat woman, and I am a trans woman. None of those make me any less female or any less of a woman. They just describe parts of my life or who I am. I’m sorry that it’s painful for you to read this, but I am a trans woman. I use that label but that in no way means that I don’t see myself as female.
Your observation has a fundamental flaw in that it dismisses and erases any identity that is not binary male or female. Thanks but no thanks – the world is not all black and white.
I understand the issue, but I do think it can be taken to an extreme. There secondary sex characteristics that do identify us as male of female. The degree to which your particular body expresses those characteristics may vary, but they do exist and make up a rough picture of male or female.
In the same conversation about body weight. People come in all sizes, but there is a point when your weight can shave years off your life, whether you’re over weight or under weight. There are boundaries that aren’t a matter of opinion.
“Real women have curves” perhaps isn’t the best way to present the message, but women do need a greater body fat ration than men and (coming from someone who used to be a dancer) many female athletes have body fat ratios that aren’t sustainable or healthy for them in the long run and can result in the loss of a regular menstrual cycle.
With all this said, it’s never acceptable to insult the way anyone looks. Furthermore I would that person probably needs some counseling to figure out why they get off on making anyone feel bad. I think most of these people are just bullying douche bags and as far as they are concerned a target is a target.
This reminds me of how often Ann Coulter was/is called “Man” Coulter or “look at that adams apple” and quite often call her a t****y.
As a trans woman and a leftist, it is disgusting to me to attack Ann Coulter this way. If you cannot attack the message of a person without making an insult of who they are or what they look like, you’re the one making an idiot of yourself.
Thank you for this brilliant double feature article.
Thank you so so so much for this, it was so engaging and thoughtful. I’ve shared with several friends and added it to my (quickly growing, yay!) list of resources on trans-misogyny.
PC Police here!
“… most muscular women were not born men; plus, television tends to insult the transgender community through most of these plot lines, as well).”
Trans* women are not born men. Period. They are miscast as such.
Just sayin’.