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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ “Because it combines the word and the body in a way which encourages self-reflection and sexual self-regard, sexting has the potential to break down barriers of shame surrounding desires and the body’s appearance, especially among those who have felt pressured to look and act a certain way.” At the Establishment, Jené Gutierrez writes about bodies, desire and sexuality, and sexting as not only preparation for sex but also a way of expressing fantasy and an end in itself. I want to underline every word:
“It was here that I discovered that certain words or phrases, or certain imagined acts described in words, produced an effect on me—an effect that I was emboldened to pursue. After some time and patience and many photos in which I initially felt weird and gross about my body, I slowly began to craft a way of speaking about my desires and presenting my body that felt true to myself and ultimately transformative. Writing about my fantasies and sharing the visual language of my body with a person who encouraged and supported my ideas, who in turn trusted me with their language and their body as a response to mine, opened me up to owning and embodying the kind of sex I hadn’t known I wanted or had been ashamed to ask for.”
via altgirlsofcolor
+ Kinky people are less likely to believe victim-blaming myths or misogyny and more likely to understand consent, according to a new study from Northern Illinois University:
“Across the board, Klement said, kinky participants had a healthier understanding of sex and consent than the other groups. A whopping 84% of BDSM respondents said wearing ‘slutty clothes’ isn’t asking for trouble, compared to only 45% of the MTurk adults.
Kinky participants were also less likely than college students to support benevolent sexism, or stereotypes that misrepresent women as weak creatures in need of male protection. ‘It’s not assumed [in the BDSM community] that just because she’s a woman that she wants to be submissive,’ Klement said.
‘These results fly in the face of stereotypes about BDSM,’ Klement added, citing the misconception that BDSM is all about violence, or that kink communities celebrate ‘unhealthy’ sexual desires.”
@culturednutproduct via rodeoh
+ STIs are at record levels:
“Yes, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that more cases of notifiable STDs were reported last year than ever before, and it’s not because the population has increased. There were 1.5 million cases of chlamydia, almost 400,000 cases of gonorrhea, and nearly 24,000 cases of syphilis. In terms of cases per 100 people, these figures represent increases of 6 percent, 13 percent, and 19 percent, respectively, since 2014 — the previous record year. (Herpes and human papillomavirus infections are not tracked by the government.)”
+ Being a perfectionist can quash your sex life.
+ Condoms are evolving.
+ Earlier this week, a handful of porn sites blocked access to Californians to urge them to vote no on Proposition 60, which requires condoms in adult films and allows any resident to sue porn producers over their absence.
I’ve always thought of being kinky like being gay, since we had to figure out how to do it in the first place, we’re more likely to learn other stuff at the same time
Sexting is fun. Fantasies are fun to express and think about. I enjoy it in different way too. Sharing something so intimate can bring you closer to the person you communicate with. A dangerous thing but the closeness just makes it better.
Personally, I could never do the whole sexting thing. I’d constantly have the worry that it would be shared/uploaded someplace I don’t want it to be, and then it’s the first thing that comes up when someone Googles my name and/or spread to people I know etc. That’s just me though. =)
Maybe, we should form a sexting group here on AS? A group where members could find others who like sexting, and everyone knows it is sexual fantasy, and just sharing fantasies to try to *stimulate* each other. ?
Thoughts, anyone?
I like the idea but it might turn ugly really fast. I can’t help but think of the worst situation that might occur, especially if sexting is involved. A group talking about sexting troubles or the joys of sexting might be better to start. Then again, it is all fantasy and everyone would know from the start that it is…..
This is definitely something to be discussed in a rational matter and during a time when no one is feeling sexually frustrated.
Well, the idea that I had was providing a place for group discussion with public comments, but also providing a venue where one to one private communication between two people who both like fantasy sexting, so both are ” on the same page” and agreeing on it being a fantasy, so no one is being mis-led.
But I understand your point about emotional safety, and not hurting feelings or letting things turn negative.
I hear a little birdie say that ever since apps like snapchat and tinder, more hooking up is happening which causes stds to go up as well. Oh well, you want instant sex, expect instant gratification and the chance for a life of medicines and telling your partners your dirty secrets.
Thanks for the negativity! :P
In the real world, everyone should remember to get themselves checked regularly, always use protection, and discuss sexual health even with a fleeting partner. This isn’t a hindrance as much as a necessity.
Furthermore, Danielle, STDs should not be considered “dirty secrets” anymore than any other medical condition someone may have and if you want to shame people for that, shame on YOU.
Ha no.
Humans have been hooking up with no attachment seeking momentary gratification long before apps or cellular phones existed.
Just only men got to do it with judgement of social condemnation.
The problem we’re having is a lack of education on protection against things other than pregnancy and AIDS is no longer a death sentence. The dire campaigns for protection are no longer a fabric of American youth.
End result is lower rate of condom use and over use of certain medication for STD treatment leading to resistant strains.
Also I gotta say shamey attitudes like yours don’t help. They hurt.
They make people not seek help or treatment because they feel dirty and worthless.
Especially victims of assault.
But your concern of course is people enjoying consensual sex, victims and survivors of assault are just straw man arguments to you.
Thank you for adding in, Lex. :)
De nada, you’re welcome.
People shouldn’t be ashamed of having consensual sex, or surviving assault.
People should be ashamed of harming others.
Well said.
So. I can do one of three things:
(A) take the 84% chance of getting violated by a “vanilla” girl
(B) just say fuck it and sign, up, to get beaten, ignored when I say no (I have to remember a very specific phrase when I’m completely panicked if something goes wrong, or maybe you’ll happen to notice I’m panicked and decide you feel like stopping despite the fact I can’t fight a leather girl off at that point), humiliated, forced to do someone’s chores, and wear embarrassing clothes
C) never walk out of my room except when I have to
I’m thinking C, y’all. But I won’t see y’all. Thank Goddess.