Feature image of “Hatsumi’s Laundry” shot by Lyall Coburn with model Hannah via Oyster Mag.
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Aïssata (@blissfullqueen) by photographer @dizzycrane
+ Want to sext but not sure how to get started or what to say? Start slow, use your own voice, and try phrases like “I’m getting so antsy just thinking about seeing you later,” “I can’t get enough of you,” or “I can’t get last night out of my mind”:
“‘People might think, ‘I don’t know what to say’ or ‘I’m not creative,’ but you don’t have to dive in with all these kinky, dirty things,’ [Vanessa] Marin tells Refinery29. It’s true that sexting can make people uneasy, but it doesn’t have to be daunting: It can be playful and silly. ‘Find a specific language you feel comfortable with,’ Marin says. ‘If you’re not comfortable with being too explicit from the get-go, that’s okay — just start slow.'”
+ Some possible responses to someone flirting with you.
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Flint uncut studded dragon dildo, noting, “I AM in love with the look of the Flint… But it’s just too damn big.”
Trace Lysette via sulkenstein
+ It’s time to talk about teenage girls and sexuality. Maybe if we did, teens asking for cosmetic genital surgery wouldn’t be on the rise.
+ You can protect yourself from HIV with post-exposure prophylaxis if you start treatment within 72 hours.
via black and curvy
+ It’s actually a lot easier to use online dating than to use online friend-making, turns out: “The friending space is the next frontier,” he claims, “but it’s very much in its infancy. Telling a friend, ‘Hey, check out this friending app’ is not really that comfortable, yet.”
+ “My thoughts on this is that I’m on my way to a live-action game of Clue as Colonel Mustard,” and other things that must have been said behind the scenes of vintage Playboy photoshoots.
+ Everything you’ve always wanted to know about fish orgies but were afraid to ask (from a neat new book on oceanic organisms):
“To make [the orgy] work, tens of thousands of individuals, many traveling for days, must all descend upon one chosen location, at the exact same time, and then jettison their wares within moments of one another. It is no easy feat. Just consider the last time you and your one partner managed synchronized bliss — and we’re talking thousands of individuals.”
mariyastag via rodeoh
+ Kink and consensual non-monogamy are more prevalent than previous studies expected. Consensual non-monogamy: for 5.3% of the population, it’s kind of a thing:
“Using two nationally representative samples consisting of 4,813 and 3,905 people, respectively, the first large-scale study on the prevalence of consensual non-monogamy found that more than one in five Americans (about 21 percent) have engaged in the practice at some point in their lifetimes. These findings suggest the phenomenon is more common than previously thought. […]
These results also challenge the idea that people involved in nonmonogamous arrangements all look the same, as the study’s sample was demographically diverse across age, education, income, geographical region, political affiliation, religion, and race, and there weren’t major differences in the prevalence of non-monogamy across these categories. Prevalence did, however, vary by gender and sexual orientation — non-monogamy was more common among straight men as compared to straight women, and among individuals who identified as gay, lesbian, or bisexual as opposed to straight.”
via cloud-lines
+ Monogamy might be the default relationship structure because of its theoretical protection against STIs, according to a new study, that argues roughly that polygynists had higher rates of disease compared to monogamists. The study, however, uses computer modelling, and it’s difficult to say how accurate its data are:
“It’s certainly a good argument. But it’s hard to assess how likely it is to be true. This is because we know very little about the risk of sexually transmitted diseases in hunter-gatherer societies or historical societies transitioning to agriculture. This is a common problem in science: we can only make progress when we can test an idea, but plausible ideas are sometimes very hard to evaluate without massive effort. […] Computer simulations are useful and can tell us important things, but they are always limited and necessarily simplify the real world.”
via queerishot
+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: May is Masturbation Month! Here are five ways to make the most of your masturbation staycation.
LOVING the pictures this week!
Thee’s something I don’t understand: if consensual non-monogamy is more prevalent among straight men than among straight women, doesn’t that mean most of them are actually cheating?
Not necessarily. It could just mean that non-monogamous straight women have more partners than non-monogamous straight men. One woman dating several men might be more common than one man dating several women, for example.
Interesting! It would definitely be a curveball to the popular image of hetero poly as being mostly male-led.
Could also mean these straight men are dating women who aren’t straight *waves hand and jumps up and cown*
Oh I know! :) It’s just that there are less queer women than any kind of straight people, so I was thinking that the pool of non-monogamous queer women who date men couldn’t be large enough to be the main reason for this phenomenon – but maybe I’m wrong?
Oh and also because that phenomenon could be at least slightly balanced out on the other side by non-monogamous couples of straight women with bi men.
If you’re my dude ex, then yes. That’s precisely what it means.
It’s apparently very easy to tell people you’re in an open relationship on Fetlife.
That article about girls and sexuality is so important!
Personally, I have been trying to figure out how to empower my youngest (12 yo) sister with the healthy understanding of sexuality the rest of us never got. The challenge is doing so without either overstepping and infuriating our parents, or having to have a conversation with them that will inevitably lead into topics I’m not interested in rehashing.
There is a woman at work who looks a lot like Aissata only even more beautiful somehow and she has amazing cover photo high femme fashion every day and she pointedly says hello to me every day in the lunch room, as in the ‘queer nod’ hello.
I’ve basically died a thousand deaths in public at work b/c of her; it’s so great. :^D
Trace Lysette. MY GOODNESS. I just died a thousand times. She’s gorgeous.
(Also, as someone who’s body looks a lot like the woman in the Calvin Klein underwear and the woman in the black strapless bra/ panty set– thank you for the representation! It made me smile today.)
So, I came out as in an open relationship to a friend yesterday. Now I’ve told a total of two friends. My wife has had two other partners since we’ve been together, as she is interested in kinks that I’m not into, and an open relationship is an idea that has been working for us both, though I am not interested in other partners. It’s a bit strange telling people especially since I have not had other partners. But I definitely appreciate all of the info on various forms of non-monogamy here on Autostraddle!
I am glad you came out. People regardless of age or sexual identity can be extremely critical of an open relationship. Even if you are the one that isn’t the one looking at other women. As long as your partner can make time for your needs when necessary then by all means let them see the world sexually. Sex is different then love, it might seem that way to some people but having that person at home everyday and relying on you and not always sharing your bed isn’t the worse thing. The worse things are having someone that doesn’t want to meet your needs and only meet their needs sexually. Like a guy who comes inside you and then falls asleep. Good luck
Interesting material on non-monogamy this week, especially since I just wrote about non-normative partner dance this week at a feminist conference. While writing my paper, I thought a lot about the very structure of partner dance and how it prescribes how we move our body, with who and how many people we move it with. If you or anyone on here has thoughts about poly relationships and conventional dance frameworks – reach out.
Since I am not poly, I do not have access to this experience of dance norms and value other’s insights for my dance research.
I love that the pictures are showing more body types and women of color!! Please keep up this representation :D