Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image via hellyeahblackmodels.
+ The story of the (modern) dildo covers the introduction of silicone as a material, the founding of Good Vibrations, Susie Bright, the sex wars and more:
“It’s difficult to fully appreciate Duncan’s accomplishment now that body-safe sex toys are de rigueur, but Duncan’s silicone dildos created a sea change in the sex-toy industry in the 1970s and 1980s. His invention brought dildos out of the back corners of seedy pornography stores, transforming them from poorly made and often unsafe devices into well-engineered, medical-grade implements that can be safely sanitized if shared among partners and adequately cleaned between vaginal and anal use. (Although, as a recent Broad City episode made clear, dildos that easily melt are still a problem today). It took a visionary like Duncan to recognize that dildos needed to be designed with the same concern for safety as any other device we put inside our bodies.”
+ Being mindful during sex makes it better.
+ Canadian sex positions include “the friendly beaver,” “the double double” and “the maple leaf.”
+ Ms. Naughty wrote about standard anti-porn article structure and why anti-porn arguments just don’t work. (Also porn has been around forever, it’s probably time to stop having this same conversation.)
+ You should not have sex on the beach (see also STIs, sand in places, legal ramifications), but if you must, here is how to do it:
“You may also want to check the timing of high and low tides so you don’t get caught off guard by the encroaching ocean. It’s also worth looking into the sanitation status of your beach of choice. Some beaches are filthy and just not worth the risk. And I know this one is going to make me sound like a real party pooper, but you should at least be aware of the potential legal implications of your beach tryst, especially if you’re in a foreign country. Getting slapped with a fine for public indecency is one thing; getting arrested is another.”
+ S. Bear Bergman is answering questions at the Toast and everything is wonderful, starting with this advice for why fucking someone you know is a terrible idea is actually a really terrible idea:
“Can you think of any better way at all to get your needs for surprises and attention met? What if you started participating in community theatre or street performance or competitive bodybuilding or Scrabble tournaments? […] Because if there’s some other way – any way at all – to enjoy that hot fizzy feeling, or a version thereof, without doing the other thing then I for one encourage you.
And if you can’t, well? Empower someone sensible to give you a sit-down if you get too ridiculous, buy some new cute underwear, hoard a few sick days for the inevitable denouement and give yourself to it with abandon and all the energy due the moment.”
+ The association because sex and happiness doesn’t mean that sex causes more happiness, it turns out. In a recent study, subjects (married and heterosexual because of course they were) were asked to double whatever amount of sex they normally had for 90 days:
“This did not make them happier. In fact, their well-being declined, especially in measures of energy and enthusiasm, as did the quality of the sex. Both men and women reported that the additional intercourse wasn’t much fun. The results surprised the researchers — but they probably shouldn’t have, according to George Loewenstein, a professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon, who led the study.
‘It seems that if you’re having sex for a reason other than because you like and want sex,’ he says, you may undermine the quality of that sex and your resulting mood.”
+ It is fine if your romantic person/people is/are your best friend/s, and it’s fine if they’re not.
+ There are a lot of nice things to look at in the ESPN body issue.
+ Here is one opinion on flirting (presumably while in a monogamous relationship):
“Generally, the flirting rule depends on the couple, and what each partner sees in the act of flirting. ‘With many couples, there is an understanding that you are a sexual being, you might be flirting on occasion, and there’s an innocence to it,’ Perel says. However, if that’s not the case, the interaction might not be considered flirting, but rather something more ominous. ‘The essence of flirting is that there is genuinely an innocence to it. It only becomes a problem when there is no innocence to it.’”
+ If you’ve never used a vibrator and are thinking about it, don’t start with something cheap, play with every setting, try adding lube, and mostly get excited, vibrators are fun! (The writing is cisnormative but the information might largely apply to anyone who wants to use a vibrator and hasn’t yet.):
“If you’ve never used a vibrator before, you’re in for a treat. Vibrators create much more intense stimulation than fingers, tongues, or penises can. If you’ve never had an orgasm before, you may find it easier to have your first one with a vibrator. If you’re regularly able to orgasm in other ways, you may find your orgasms to be much more intense when they’re coming from a vibrator. There are women out there that just aren’t big vibrator fans (nothing wrong with that), but most women enjoy the sensation.”
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