Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image via hellyeahblackmodels.
+ The story of the (modern) dildo covers the introduction of silicone as a material, the founding of Good Vibrations, Susie Bright, the sex wars and more:
“It’s difficult to fully appreciate Duncan’s accomplishment now that body-safe sex toys are de rigueur, but Duncan’s silicone dildos created a sea change in the sex-toy industry in the 1970s and 1980s. His invention brought dildos out of the back corners of seedy pornography stores, transforming them from poorly made and often unsafe devices into well-engineered, medical-grade implements that can be safely sanitized if shared among partners and adequately cleaned between vaginal and anal use. (Although, as a recent Broad City episode made clear, dildos that easily melt are still a problem today). It took a visionary like Duncan to recognize that dildos needed to be designed with the same concern for safety as any other device we put inside our bodies.”
+ Being mindful during sex makes it better.
+ Canadian sex positions include “the friendly beaver,” “the double double” and “the maple leaf.”
+ Ms. Naughty wrote about standard anti-porn article structure and why anti-porn arguments just don’t work. (Also porn has been around forever, it’s probably time to stop having this same conversation.)
darshanapathak via
+ You should not have sex on the beach (see also STIs, sand in places, legal ramifications), but if you must, here is how to do it:
“You may also want to check the timing of high and low tides so you don’t get caught off guard by the encroaching ocean. It’s also worth looking into the sanitation status of your beach of choice. Some beaches are filthy and just not worth the risk. And I know this one is going to make me sound like a real party pooper, but you should at least be aware of the potential legal implications of your beach tryst, especially if you’re in a foreign country. Getting slapped with a fine for public indecency is one thing; getting arrested is another.”
+ S. Bear Bergman is answering questions at the Toast and everything is wonderful, starting with this advice for why fucking someone you know is a terrible idea is actually a really terrible idea:
“Can you think of any better way at all to get your needs for surprises and attention met? What if you started participating in community theatre or street performance or competitive bodybuilding or Scrabble tournaments? […] Because if there’s some other way – any way at all – to enjoy that hot fizzy feeling, or a version thereof, without doing the other thing then I for one encourage you.
And if you can’t, well? Empower someone sensible to give you a sit-down if you get too ridiculous, buy some new cute underwear, hoard a few sick days for the inevitable denouement and give yourself to it with abandon and all the energy due the moment.”
Geena Rocero
+ The association because sex and happiness doesn’t mean that sex causes more happiness, it turns out. In a recent study, subjects (married and heterosexual because of course they were) were asked to double whatever amount of sex they normally had for 90 days:
“This did not make them happier. In fact, their well-being declined, especially in measures of energy and enthusiasm, as did the quality of the sex. Both men and women reported that the additional intercourse wasn’t much fun. The results surprised the researchers — but they probably shouldn’t have, according to George Loewenstein, a professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon, who led the study.
‘It seems that if you’re having sex for a reason other than because you like and want sex,’ he says, you may undermine the quality of that sex and your resulting mood.”
+ It is fine if your romantic person/people is/are your best friend/s, and it’s fine if they’re not.
+ There are a lot of nice things to look at in the ESPN body issue.
+ Here is one opinion on flirting (presumably while in a monogamous relationship):
“Generally, the flirting rule depends on the couple, and what each partner sees in the act of flirting. ‘With many couples, there is an understanding that you are a sexual being, you might be flirting on occasion, and there’s an innocence to it,’ Perel says. However, if that’s not the case, the interaction might not be considered flirting, but rather something more ominous. ‘The essence of flirting is that there is genuinely an innocence to it. It only becomes a problem when there is no innocence to it.'”
via thesensualeye
+ If you’ve never used a vibrator and are thinking about it, don’t start with something cheap, play with every setting, try adding lube, and mostly get excited, vibrators are fun! (The writing is cisnormative but the information might largely apply to anyone who wants to use a vibrator and hasn’t yet.):
“If you’ve never used a vibrator before, you’re in for a treat. Vibrators create much more intense stimulation than fingers, tongues, or penises can. If you’ve never had an orgasm before, you may find it easier to have your first one with a vibrator. If you’re regularly able to orgasm in other ways, you may find your orgasms to be much more intense when they’re coming from a vibrator. There are women out there that just aren’t big vibrator fans (nothing wrong with that), but most women enjoy the sensation.”
Chermaine Em via womenofcolor
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Great selections this week. Thanks!
this week’s pictures are a+ (per usual) and i really liked that article about sex and mindfulness!
Thank you for those Canadian sex positions, I didn’t know I needed those until I had them.
Wooowwww, this week’s pictures are really stellar! Looking froward to reading the story about modern dildos later today.
I live for this article each week! Another great one, thanks :)
How refreshing. No tattoos covering all those beautiful bodies. Thanks I can actually see them now.
Well that was unnecessary.
I’m happy they had a selection that was up your alley this week. Ah, AS, a rotating collection of something (eventually) for all of us.
Oh, c’mon. No H8, remember?
A+ pics AS ALWAYS.
i will be tucking away s. bear bergman’s advice for a rainy day, aka the inevitable moment in the near future when i find myself on the precipice of a Bad Decision…
“It seems that if you’re having sex for any reason other than because you like and enjoy sex…you may undermine the quality of that sex and your resulting mood”
…I hope they didn’t pay too much for this study! :P
Photos are as exquisite as usual and I can’t wait to have mindful sex!
I haven’t read these articles in quite a while but a few of these selections were really help full for me and i’m glad i checked it out.
Perfect balance this week, and a little lesson about mindfulness. Though the tale of the loose tooth and oral sex… that poor woman! Thanks Carolyn
Lots of fun stuff to read this week. Thanks. I especially liked the Canadian one.
The ESPN link was broken for me.
I liked the Canadian one too. But the Toque Twist struck me as… anatomically unlikely. Spines just don’t work like that, eh?
That was the one I couldn’t figure out either.
Fantastic picture selection as always.
Also fantastic story selection. Who knew I needed Canadian sex positions in my life?
And don’t have sex on a beach. Just…don’t.
Some awesome links this week! (also awesome pictures, as usual).
Someone in the comments of the Ask Bear post was complaining about the disclaimer at the top that all the letters were basically the same — but I loved that! I love being reminded that no matter how specific my problems/neuroses/whatever feel like they are to me, everyone has pretty much the same worries and fears, especially about sex. Makes me feel less alone :)
Seconded. It’s nice to have that reassurance.
As a sex educator, while sometimes there are very specific and contextual questions, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE WORRIED ABOUT THE SAME STUFF. Some colleagues of mine were doing a project for a while cataloguing the questions they got at their workshops and it was so impressive to see the repetition.
YES this is true in my experience as well.
Beautiful pictures and great links this week!
the article about beeing best friends (or not) was the one I lieked best. The picture selection is great!
Invariably on point.
awesome articles, thanks for compiling them! (also beautiful photos, as always, i love seeing this diversity here.)
my girlfriend always roles her eyes at me a bit when i enthusiastically read the “sunday sex articles” to her, but she ends up being interested nonetheless.
That “thesensualeye” picture…oof…
ditto
I NEED THAT LINGERIE IN THE THIRD PICTURE, where can I purchase it?
Those photos are superb.
That Calvin Klein girl. Damnnn.
ALSO the mindfulness thing. Very important, but anyone have anymore suggestions on how to actually achieve this? I found the article didn’t really help. My mind is *always* racing.
Hmm, maybe focusing intently on the physical sensations you’re experiencing so as to anchor your thoughts?
This is something I’m working on too! For now, I’m just focusing on noticing when my mind is wandering, and gently bringing my mind back to something more in-the-moment when it wanders. Also, YMMV, but if you drink alcohol at all, sometimes being just a teensy bit tipsy before sex can narrow your focus enough to truly only be paying attention to the sex. Then once you know what that feels like, it might be easier to recapture the feeling while sober? Another thing I do if my mind wanders is to switch up what I’m doing, or do something more active if I’ve been the more passive partner. Good luck!
Personally I have found practice best. (Also: super fun.)
Great articles!
Always love this column – every time there is something useful that I didn’t know. I love that you mentioned bear’s column too – I’ve been looking forward to it ever since I heard he was writing one. Thanks!
Beautiful people! Thanks for the link roundup. I never miss this column.
the canadian positions are funny
I just really want some Calvin Klein underwear.
All of these are great but I particularly enjoyed the piece about whether your SO should be your (best) friend.
‘Different types of relationships will work for different people in different stages of their life. And relationships will change. Whether or not you judge your partner as your best friend might evolve over time and whether or not that model works for you will also change. “We keep trying to make ‘couples’ fit into one little box or one definition, but there isn’t just one type of couple,” Perel says.’
Yes yes YES yes.
ALSO ALSO (comment spam), I’m really pleased that huffpost had some diversity in their pics for the Canadian sex positions. The first het couple made me nervous, but (fairly) well done, huffpost.
These Canadian sex position names are hilarious though…
Pictures yes.
Also, as a person who just doesn’t like sex that much (mostly because I like so many other things wayyy more), I’m happy to have studies to show people when they make claims about how much sex people “should” be having.
Lovely pictures and great articles as always. The third photo….woah! *fans self*
I enjoyed the piece about anti-porn arguments.
:heart emoji eyes: for Darshana. I just spent waaaay too long checking out her tumblr. What a smart, sexy babe!
Also, that high tide/low tide advice is really real. I could have used this advice in my teens when I thought that beach sex would be fun and not just full of sand and then having to scale a rock wall after high tide trapped us.
I was totally unaware of what I was missing out on in regards to Canadian sex positions….
*eventually drags eyes away from the pictures*
…so, reading about Canadian sex positions is the only real research I need to do before I move to Vancouver from the UK, right? I’m treating the timing as extremely serendipitous…
Obviously extensive research on the matter will be crucial.
Beach sex…no. I get enough sand in my ass just physically being at the beach, thank you very much.
And these photos are gorgeous!
History of the (modern) dildo article was fascinating! I had the pleasure of seeing the x-rated collection of antiquities at a museum of Naples and can vouch the ancient history is also fascinating.
Really digging this week’s NSFW Sunday. The pictures are so gorgeous, and there’s more to read than I have time for. Story of the modern dildo was tops tho.
the S. Bear Bergman advice was great, especially the end which basically empowers you to do what you’re gonna do if you’re gonna do it because that happens to the best of us, really
The article on the history of the modern dildo was really interesting mostly because 1) I didn’t know it was meant to make sex easier/possible for people with disabilities (though actually that makes a lot of sense and after reading that it was a bit of an “oh, duh” moment) and 2) I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE LAWS AGAINST MAKING AND SELLING SEXUAL AIDS??? (what a sad time)
Oh man, that article about mindfulness during sex really hits close to home. Damn you, anxiety, for making me ruminate over what time it is or whether or not I should take my socks off when I’m lucky enough to be in bed with someone…I am going to try really hard to let go of all of that stuff next time. :) Thanks for the articles!
Urg, yes, I feel this so much, Emma.
Great photos and articles this week! I particularly enjoyed the rebuttal to anti-porn. Thank you for this.