Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image of Tess Holliday.
via chromat.co
+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller answers questions about having a crush on your intern, coming out to your employer, thinking of it as “dating” rather than “experimenting” and having shame around being found sexually attractive and communicating about it:
“We’ve all been raised by romantic comedies and deodorant commercials to believe that the person who loves you will just know what you want them to do or say without having to be told, that they’ll be able to correctly interpret your every gesture and expression, that they’ll understand the nuances of meaning in each seemingly innocuous sentence. The truth, however, is that love is not telepathy. Expecting your sweetheart to be a mind reader will only leave you hurting and confused.
Try to let go of the idea that asking for what you want and need is manipulative or un-sexy or “too much of a loaded question.” Your partner loves you and wants to make you happy, so the kindest thing you can do for them is let them know how to do so.”
+ Chelsea G. Summers wrote about learning to have sex with girls in Adult:
“I was her first. In fact, before me, no one — girl or otherwise — had fucked Marta. No one had plied their lips to her clit, no one had fingered her, no one had made her come. My index and forefinger broke her hymen. We spent long, luxurious hours in bed, stealing off when we could to cheesy hotels — we met as counselors at a Catholic girls’ camp run by nuns. When we didn’t have time away, we would find each other in bathrooms and closets; Marta would rub my clit until I came, mouth upon her shoulder. I’d leave spit trails on her polo shirt.”
Rapture Part II photographed by Chris Vongsawat via lesbian silk
+ A controlling partner might lead to lower relationship satisfaction for lesbians, according to a recent Rutgers study of lesbian and gay couples from a press release we got:
“‘We found that women with partners who are domineering overwhelmingly report low satisfaction in their relationships,’ she [study author Charlotte Markey] says. ‘Women value equality and don’t want to be bossed around. This finding suggests that over time assertiveness doesn’t wear very well with women.'”
+ Sophie Lucido Johnson writes about being a feminist and trying to draw herself naked, getting stuck, and talking to Kristen Radtke (who previously asked a bunch of women to draw themselves naked) about what it all means:
“We talked about the expectations attached to women’s drawings of women’s bodies. The bodies in the drawings should not be too thin. The bodies should not have boobs that are too big. The bodies should not be too fat, and if the bodies are fat, no one should say that the bodies are fat. The bodies should be beautiful. The bodies should not be overly sexualized. The bodies should not be too chaste. Women’s bodies, after all, have been historically treated as objects. So if women are going to draw women’s bodies, they had better understand all the implications that come with such a history. (Never mind that most of them inhabit a woman’s body every day.)”
Paige Clay via womenofcolor
“The people who find themselves most betrayed by the lies of lovers are those who have the most unrealistic expectations about truthfulness. And the people who are most inclined to believe the lies they shouldn’t are the ones who tell themselves the biggest lie of them all: ‘I never tell lies.’ […]
When it comes to love, both honesty and deception should be practiced in moderation. Only then can we celebrate the intoxicating illusions of love.”
+ Also, everybody manipulates.
+ Some anti-aphrodisiacs and aphrodisiacs you may agree or disagree with.
+ Pasties might just feel better when you make them yourself.
+ Audio porn is getting popular, according to an article in a publication I can’t believe I’m linking to.
via faintly masculine, photography by Wabi Sabi NYC
+ Erika Moen posted a recap of #SexPeriod, her discussion with GladRag and Scarleteen about many things related to periods and sexuality.
+ You learn a lot of great things in sex shop training:
“Perhaps the most important lesson is also the most obvious: Being sex-positive doesn’t mean you have to be into all kinds of sex or have sex all the time or even have sex at all. It means not talking about sex or bodies within a context of shame. It means being open and accepting of everyone’s jam, even if it’s not your own. You don’t have to DO IT. Just don’t yuck their yum.”
via womenofcolor
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
The thing about people lying in relationships is highly problematic and pic #7 is painful cause they don’t look like they consented to being photographed. Just saying.
If you click through the link on the seventh photo, there are a whole bunch of gorgeous images in the series – this was clearly a profesh photo shoot, and I’m fairly confident everyone consented to it.
I don’t think 7 looks like the didn’t want to have the picture taken, but to make sure, I clicked through and it comes from a great shoot. The shoot is obviously consensual.
“according to an article in a publication I can’t believe I’m linking to”
Well that gave me a full belly laugh
Me too
I’m still cringing about it a little.
I want every \thing chromat makes holy shit
“Just don’t yuck their yum.” How is it that I did not already know this phrase?
Controlling and domineering =\= assertive! Yikes on the language used (and reproduced) in that excerpt.
Yeah, the use of “assertive” in that excerpt rubbed me the wrong way too.
I want my gf to be happy! And know she is beautiful to me, and my love does not need a physical or emotional “bribe” from her. Love is not a business deal…..it is a mysterious emotional connection between two women… who may be very different in many ways, but who “connect” in some manner. And it might be a confused connection initially, which becomes clear and loving with positive communication. Love is not a bargain……it is an irrational, inexplicable feeling of connection to another woman! And I have felt this connection with Maryanna and KC, two very different lesbians, who both made me irrationally attracted to them , wanting to be their loving gf……
From Summers’ article…
She captures my thoughts/feelings about het. sex very well.
Yes! That was my favorite part of that article. Some of the ways she talks about being straight/the women she slept with were a little strange, though.
It always surprises me when straight women talk about wishing they were gay, even though I encounter it all the time. I had assumed it was because I’m in high school and the theater girls I hear it from are struggling with boyfriends and lives in general, and have exaggerated views of female bi/homosexuality, but this article did a lot for me in terms of making me realize just how prevalent those thoughts are. I have friends who are attracted to boys but believe the only type of sex that can feel good for a woman is sex with another woman. I guess all I can do is encourage them to talk to their partners about what they want, and encourage boys to listen.
“A little strange” is probably the best way to explain how I feel about having to tune out homophobia on Sunday and reassure people it’s okay to be straight on Monday.
Couldn’t this also apply to queer sex between men?
Clancy Martin said a lot to convince me that he lies but virtually nothing to convince me that he is a good lover or a reliable narrator. Unimpressed.
I had no idea audio porn was a current thing. I am intrigued.
Love the 1975 lyric reference. :)
Love that you noticed!