Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image of Tess Holliday.
+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller answers questions about having a crush on your intern, coming out to your employer, thinking of it as “dating” rather than “experimenting” and having shame around being found sexually attractive and communicating about it:
“We’ve all been raised by romantic comedies and deodorant commercials to believe that the person who loves you will just know what you want them to do or say without having to be told, that they’ll be able to correctly interpret your every gesture and expression, that they’ll understand the nuances of meaning in each seemingly innocuous sentence. The truth, however, is that love is not telepathy. Expecting your sweetheart to be a mind reader will only leave you hurting and confused.
Try to let go of the idea that asking for what you want and need is manipulative or un-sexy or “too much of a loaded question.” Your partner loves you and wants to make you happy, so the kindest thing you can do for them is let them know how to do so.”
+ Chelsea G. Summers wrote about learning to have sex with girls in Adult:
“I was her first. In fact, before me, no one — girl or otherwise — had fucked Marta. No one had plied their lips to her clit, no one had fingered her, no one had made her come. My index and forefinger broke her hymen. We spent long, luxurious hours in bed, stealing off when we could to cheesy hotels — we met as counselors at a Catholic girls’ camp run by nuns. When we didn’t have time away, we would find each other in bathrooms and closets; Marta would rub my clit until I came, mouth upon her shoulder. I’d leave spit trails on her polo shirt.”
+ A controlling partner might lead to lower relationship satisfaction for lesbians, according to a recent Rutgers study of lesbian and gay couples from a press release we got:
“‘We found that women with partners who are domineering overwhelmingly report low satisfaction in their relationships,’ she [study author Charlotte Markey] says. ‘Women value equality and don’t want to be bossed around. This finding suggests that over time assertiveness doesn’t wear very well with women.’”
+ Sophie Lucido Johnson writes about being a feminist and trying to draw herself naked, getting stuck, and talking to Kristen Radtke (who previously asked a bunch of women to draw themselves naked) about what it all means:
“We talked about the expectations attached to women’s drawings of women’s bodies. The bodies in the drawings should not be too thin. The bodies should not have boobs that are too big. The bodies should not be too fat, and if the bodies are fat, no one should say that the bodies are fat. The bodies should be beautiful. The bodies should not be overly sexualized. The bodies should not be too chaste. Women’s bodies, after all, have been historically treated as objects. So if women are going to draw women’s bodies, they had better understand all the implications that come with such a history. (Never mind that most of them inhabit a woman’s body every day.)”
“The people who find themselves most betrayed by the lies of lovers are those who have the most unrealistic expectations about truthfulness. And the people who are most inclined to believe the lies they shouldn’t are the ones who tell themselves the biggest lie of them all: ‘I never tell lies.’ […]
When it comes to love, both honesty and deception should be practiced in moderation. Only then can we celebrate the intoxicating illusions of love.”
+ Also, everybody manipulates.
+ Some anti-aphrodisiacs and aphrodisiacs you may agree or disagree with.
+ Pasties might just feel better when you make them yourself.
+ Audio porn is getting popular, according to an article in a publication I can’t believe I’m linking to.
+ Erika Moen posted a recap of #SexPeriod, her discussion with GladRag and Scarleteen about many things related to periods and sexuality.
+ You learn a lot of great things in sex shop training:
“Perhaps the most important lesson is also the most obvious: Being sex-positive doesn’t mean you have to be into all kinds of sex or have sex all the time or even have sex at all. It means not talking about sex or bodies within a context of shame. It means being open and accepting of everyone’s jam, even if it’s not your own. You don’t have to DO IT. Just don’t yuck their yum.”
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
