Feature image of @KhamDog via rodeoh
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ In life, you might get an STD! (If you don’t have one already.) It might be HPV. What does that mean?:
“The first thing I will tell you is that HPV is INCREDIBLY common. In case you want me to say it again, ALL sexually active people will come into contact with HPV. That’s according to the Center for Disease Control, I am not making this up. Basically, you have HPV. Also, have you ever had warts anywhere on your skin ever? That’s also HPV. This isn’t really even a bug where you can call your recent partners & be like ‘YO, HPV, GET ON THAT’ because HPV can take a while to show up; it can take years from infection to progression of symptoms, so partner-blaming ‘you gave me this STD’ is not so clear-cut with HPV. You should definitely still tell your partners, though, I am not giving you a free pass here.”
And also:
“Dear Every Single Cervix-Owning Person Reading This: Get Your Pap Smear. Do not skip annual gynecologist visits. Even though we don’t do pap smears every year, the best way to keep yourself safe is to be honest with your doctor about your sexual behaviors. We’re not here to judge — I promise doctors have heard a lot weirder stories. We’re just here to let you know about any risks you have and do what we need to make sure you’re healthy.”
Genuine Procelain by photographer Deena Stacia
+ At Wild Gender, Gabe Moss wrote “How To Make Love To A Trans Person,” a poem:
“Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.”
Mao Kawakami via womenofcolor
+ Do not give overly specific feedback about kissing. Instead:
“The only answer here, then (unless it’s a hygiene thing: in that case, you’ve got to let them know) is to teach a person to kiss better by taking the kissing lead, which means doing it by responding to what feels good and redirecting what doesn’t. A person who is a good kisser may not kiss just like you, but a good lover will likely understand responsiveness.”
+ Here is a horror story about sex toys that Daphne du Maurier wrote in 1937. Go for the story, stay for Mallory’s comments. You’re welcome.
+ In an interview, Mistress Matisse discusses her recent sex work activism, being able to respond faster as an individual, why consent is important in literally everything and more.
+ Artemisia FemmeCock wrote about her personal history of faking orgasms — when she started, why she stopped, when it’s okay and when she still does:
“I no longer feel a pressure to orgasm (or rather, appear to orgasm) and I embrace the sexiness of my natural reactions during sex. Instead of putting my energy into that one aspect of sex, I gain more pleasure through openly sharing what I need and desire. Sometimes that means saying, ‘thanks for eating me out for an hour, I didn’t orgasm but it felt great, how about some pizza?’ Really, that’s what my wet dreams are made of.”
via womenofcolor
+ Asking, “Is this okay?” in bed is not actually useful! Try asking yes/no questions, more open-ended questions or either/or questions:
“Most people are not very good at saying what they want. If you are trying to find out what your partner likes, trying something and then asking “Is this okay?” is unlikely to tell you what they prefer. But an open-ended question may cause your sweetie to freeze like a deer in the headlights. This is a great chance to give your partner options!
Either/or questions can help you and your partner figure out which general direction to head in, without having to over-think things or be able to articulate everything in advance.”
Nikki Hearts and Luxy Hearts via indiepornrevolution
+ Kim Davis, noted asshole, has been offered the chance to make interracial lesbian porn.
+ Have you been cheated on? Here’s one way to handle it. (The article mostly uses cheating and infidelity as synonymous but the strategies should work for all kinds of broken relationship agreements.):
“Be aware that your immediate reaction may be to take drastic measures in either direction. Some people want to repair the relationship right away. After experiencing such a powerful threat to your relationship, it’s natural to feel drawn to your partner. Others may want to leave and never look back. Try to resist these urges, and give yourself the opportunity to make as clear-headed a decision as possible.”
Nikita White via pretty plus size
+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives, here are a few tips for talking about having more sex:
“Yes, talking about sex is something you are allowed to do with your girlfriend – in fact, it’s encouraged. But it’s sometimes awkward to talk about sex because society tells us we’re not supposed to – that it’s private. Or it could be scary, because talking about sex often involves way more than just talking about sex. It involves talking about the mechanics of your relationship, the balance of power and, of course, The Feelings. One of the reasons that there can be disconnects between otherwise amazing couples is because sex isn’t talked about nearly often enough. No one knows what the other expects, wants or what feels good to them. So please, go forth and have this conversation with your girlfriend about having sex more often.”
(Also, remember that time Molly went to the Folsom Street Fair?)
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
For the record: I (enthusiastically) consent to being felt up by NSFW Sunday any time, any place.
Who wants to watch Kim Davis porn?
Nope nope nope.
Probs Mike Huckabee.
Supreme pictures this week
Every few months, trans women (including me) call you out for your near-total lack of representation. You include a token trans woman for a few weeks, and then go back to the status quo. Considering how well this column does in regards to almost every other kind of diversity, it’s really somewhat insulting.