Feature photo via takemetoyourbedroom.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ “I’d like to dehydrate you slightly,” and other sexual overtures from an alien unfamiliar with the human body.
+ Tina Horn is featured in the Rumpus‘s latest instalment of Writing While Deviant, discussing kink, irony, sarcasm, sluttiness and more: “BDSM is an ethical way to get what you want by agreeing to pretend you can’t have it.”
+ If your activity partner has the same genitals as you, it’s fun to sometimes play with all the available touches you both like on each of your bodies:
“Pick a part of the body that you both like touched. Try easing your way in with a non-genital, non-breast, non-butt area, like the back or the shoulders. First, try to replicate the type of touch that your partner has responded best to historically. For example, you might start scratching their back lightly with your fingernails. Say something like, ‘OK, I think this is what you tend to like best.’ It’s fine if your partner has some edits, like, ‘I usually like a little more pressure’ or ‘I like it a bit lower.’ Any bit of feedback that either of you offers helps you learn more about your bodies and what you like.
Next, try to imitate the type of touch that you like best, so for example, you might start massaging your partner’s back. Say, ‘and this is what I like best.’ Again, your partner is free to pitch in their thoughts, like, ‘you usually react when I go a bit faster than that.’”
+ Virtual reality porn makes fostering emotional intimacy easier, argues Ela Darling, who is pioneering it (and who also spoke to Autostraddle about it):
“Darling isn’t claiming that VR tech is birthing emotionally beneficial pornography — she argues that’s been around for some time — just that the “closeness” of VR porn makes fostering emotional intimacy relatively easy. It also puts it at the core of a transaction. The desire for companionship is a big part of the adult industry that’s often overlooked and VRTube can differentiate itself from PornHub by offering something distinctly not mass market. Currently, we watch amalgamations of fantasies instead of experience our own. Darling, a veteran of many Skype sex sessions, says most of her fans really just want to talk. VR let’s them do that — and more — in a way that feels and is, on some level anyway, real.”
+ Tinder profiles now include job and education information, because “letting users include their professional and educational background was a move to make the app more closely resemble how people meet in real life.”
+ Breakups are the worst.
+ Apparently someone asked Slate when it’s okay to be alone with someone else’s spouse, a question I had to read three times because I literally could not understand what the problem was. Anyway, “[t]here are really just two kinds of relationships: One where you trust someone, and one where you don’t.” For a good time don’t read the comments and kick yourself in the head instead.
+ Margaret Cho stands for women of color and sex workers.
+ At the Lingerie Addict, Datura Divine examines the relationship between sex work and lingerie.
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Tantus Uncut.
+ Coming Out Like A Porn Star, a new collection edited by Jiz Lee, discusses porn and privacy through the lenses of dozens of porn stars’ comings out. In her essay, Haley Fingersmith writes:
“People have asked me why I decided to perform in porn. I’ve said it was for the money, and that’s true. I’ve said it’s because I like having sex with pretty people — also true. I’ve said it was a political statement, to be a visibly out trans woman, a model for other women who, like I once did, feel they have to hide.
What I haven’t said […] was how queer porn gave me the space to come out. The hours I spent on set were some of the very first hours I spent in public, as my whole self, without fear. The sets of the queer porn producers I’ve worked with have been, without fail, safe and affirming spaces, and it was on those sets and in seeing myself through their lenses that I began to discover that I could be seen and safe. It was there that I experienced the profound healing of being invited to exist.”
+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: ‘Tis almost the season for holiday breakups:
“Holidays get blamed for everything. They add unwanted pounds (mostly of beer) to waistlines (mostly mine), blast songs about ambiguously gay reindeer and provide the perfect smoke screen for your walking dead relationship. Sweet baby kitten, mistletoe is no excuse for kissing queer lips you’ve lost interest in. Neither is getting drunk off of mulled wine, suffering through thanksvegan food-itis and/or their grandma gives you the best presents ever. Pause. Deep breath. Put on your chucks, crack those tattooed knuckles and make some hard, love-based decisions.”
Also remember that time Bluestockings Boutique had a rad queer lingerie shoot?
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