Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image via loneookami.
+ Science doesn’t know a lot about orgasms but it’s working on it. Some findings — which the researchers emphasize likely won’t apply equally to everyone — include that orgasms increase pain tolerance, kill fear and impulse control and can come from different types of touches, and that people orgasm with their whole brains:
“Komisaruk’s experiments have shown that in both men and women approaching orgasm, a predictable series of events occurs in the brain. Not surprisingly, as sexual stimulation occurs it leads to activation of brain regions known to be involved in processing our sense of touch.
From there, however, a number of seemingly unrelated brain areas — such as the limbic system (involved in memory and emotions), the hypothalamus (involved in unconscious body control), and the prefrontal cortex (involved in judgment and problem solving) — join in, with one after another showing heightened levels of activation.
By the time you actually experience an orgasm, ‘more than 30 major brain systems are activated,’ Komisaruk says. ‘It’s not a local, discrete event. There’s no ‘orgasm center.’ It’s everywhere.’”
+ You can learn all sorts of things at an orgy, like that you are a lesbian, and what you need from your non-monogamous relationship:
“This orgy was the first time I had actual, unquestionable sex with another woman. The first time, to put it crudely, that I put my tongue on another woman’s pussy. And the moment I put my tongue on that other woman’s pussy (hi there, L., if you’re reading, I remember you, too, and very fondly indeed), my core sexual self-identity was transformed from ‘woman who has fantasies about other women but isn’t sure what that means in her real life’ to ‘dyke.’ It took no time at all. Tongue hovering above the pussy, not so sure; tongue on the pussy, dyke.”
+ Safer sex tips for trans women include using barriers, lube and communication.
+ You can still have sex after age 60. No, really.
+ Here are some places to touch your activity partners, if they’re into it.
+ Being single can make you better in relationships.
+ Refinery29 has a lube shopping guide with recommendations for all sorts of situations. Organic lube is one way to upgrade your sex life if you’re still using drugstore stuff. (Refinery29 does not talk about Pink, which is my favorite. Autostraddle also has a lube shopping guide.)
+ If you’re good at talking about sex, you probably have more of it (and other findings from our sex survey).
+ Worrying about hymens is ridiculous.
+ Sometimes you just need platform high heels with a built-in butt plug, or, ahem, “unusual designs which incorporate beautiful accessories for erotic play.”
+ Being a feminist badass is totally compatible with BDSM, just in case you were worried:
“[NCSF founder Susan] Wright continued: ‘Being submissive is very compatible with feminism because it is choosing your own form of sexual expression. In the end, sexuality is empowering—and you can empower people in all the diverse ways that they enjoy sexuality. Power exchanges are one of those ways. That’s certainly why I did the SM policy project for the National Organization for Women. I’ve been a NOW member since I was 16, and when I found out that NOW had an anti-sadomasochism stance, I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t believe that feminism and BDSM were at all incompatible.’”
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