Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
via fuckyeahethnicwomen.tumblr.com
+ Whiskey Tortoise writes about being a mistress, keeping things casual and free and her first affair:
“Our clandestine meetings took place late at night. I rode a taxi all the way to her house, and we spent hours kissing and talking and listening to music she was mixing. Her talent was apparent even then, and it’s one of the reasons I was instantly drawn to her. And the way she pursued me so aggressively is what reeled me in. Then there was the sex: the way she arranged toys throughout the bedroom; the way there was always gay porn playing as soon as we both confessed our addictions to it; the way she instructed me to touch her there, and there, faster, and over and over again; the way she coaxed my sexuality right out of me.”
via fuckyeahdykes.tumblr.com
+ Racialicious ran a review of Nenna Joiner’s black queer feminist porn:
” Nenna J’s films center black women with body types that aren’t affirmed in popular porn. She imagines the gaze of queer black women, and she resists the hackneyed scene endings of normative pornography. If you want to see women of color perform a giggling, cooing ecstasy, you might want to go to Redtube. But if you are interested in embodied performances that respect the real of the reel, Nenna J’s Hella Brown: Real Sex In The City won’t disappoint.”
via curvycutiecentral.tumblr.com
+ Ask A Queer Chick has advice on coercive threesomes, dating the right people and lesbians in long-distance relationships:
“Open relationships are sometimes proposed as the cure for an ailing long-distance love, and while that makes some surface-level sense — you can have sex with someone in your zip code, yay! — non-monogamy is not a panacea for dissatisfaction. It tends to introduce new levels of complication, and if things are already shaky, not knowing where your partner is or who she’s doing will probably just make things worse. An open relationship won’t solve the fact that you aren’t as attracted to your girlfriend as you are to other people, or that you can’t talk to her about something as harmless as dancing with someone at a party because you’re afraid she doesn’t trust you, or that you’re hanging out with attractive women and never mentioning that you’re dating someone. It sounds like you and your girlfriend simply don’t have a strong enough foundation as a couple for the challenges that long distance relationships present. End it as cleanly and kindly as you can, and make the most of your slutty college years.”
via wocsurvivalkit.tumblr.com
+ Only eight percent of Americans sleep naked, according to a recent poll by a linens company.
+ News flash: it helps to talk about what you want in bed.
via lasmujeresrealestienencurvas.tumblr.com
+ The Frisky has 9 sex lessons garnered from Downton Abbey.
via wocwholikewoc.tumblr.com
+ Lizzie Plaugic writes about answering a questionnaire on being qualified to be a sex toy tester at Nerve.
“Nikki Hearts and Calico Lane on the set of HOTEL” via juicypinkbox.com
+ How do you curate your sexual history?:
“For others, the list was as much a document of self-acceptance as a tool for sustaining memory. ‘I feel like my transition from the more timid, afraid-of-being-slut-shamed girl I used to be into the much more sexually assertive and confident woman I am now has informed this desire to have a tangible “collection” to look back on,’ June told me. She shares her number and her list with new or potential partners as well as friends: ‘it’s a good way to weed out judgmental assholes before I get too close to them.’ I heard similar things from dozens of other respondents, who mentioned that the list served not only to jog their memories but, as several put it, to serve as a testament to a hard-won emotional growth of which they were genuinely proud.”
via sugarbutch.co
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Ugh not a comment on the article but on the tumblr photo 4th from the bottom, or on its source: phrases like “real women have curves” aren’t productive. They further the divide between “thin” and “not thin” women. They feed into the idea that there is a right and wrong way to have a female body. Why do people feel the need to make that sort of proclamation? I have no curves. But I promise, I’m a real woman.
I am a solidly average hourglass, but ugh, I agree with this so much. It’s still body shaming.
Yes yes yes.
I saw this whole ‘real women are curvy’ this as an interesting backlash to the societal deemed appropriate of thin (you know, with boobs) interesting a few years ago. At first it kind of brought a new perspective (to the greater mass) but what’s to say weighing 100lbs versus 250lbs makes you any less or more woman?
IDK, let’s maybe not police the ways that fat women respond to institutionalized oppression against their fat bodies?
plus fat women have their womanhood constantly denied in a way that thin women don’t.
Yeah, I don’t know that I’m okay with saying “you’ve had a (really) shitty time. feel free to make things worse for other people and continue to propagate the notion that there is a correct female body. Obviously the way their womanhood is denied or criticized is different, but facing discrimination in one form isn’t a free pass to create or encourage discrimination in another form, eh?
ups, forgot my endquote between “body” and “Obviously”.
The link to the first article is broken, but works if you replace “gawker” with “jezebel.”
Yeah yeah! Representing part of the eight percent!
Also a member of the 8% club. If I wasn’t trying to cut down my gas and electric bill, I would crank the heat and keep it up. As it stands, I wear a big t-shirt to bed.
I’m normally in the 8% percent, but this time of year I do end up wearing a thick pair of socks to bed.
Nothing else, though.
Hairdryer under the duvet. Trust me. Toasty. ;)
8 percent?! it’s got to be more, right?
There are a lot of smug naked sleepers who read the Huffington Post.
Ha! Indeed. I didn’t read very much of the comments thread, but it did seem to be mainly composed of comments like, “My wife loves it when we sleep naked.”
Just a heads up to everyone, the ‘how do you curate your sexual history’ article was written by Hugo Schwyzer.
(In addition to being a regular writer at Jezebel, a gender studies professor, and communicating some really useful and powerful ideas, he’s done some awful things to women in his personal life and also treated various WOC bloggers terrible, and I know some folks try to have as little to do with him as possible. Hence the heads up.)
Thanks for the heads up. It’s been a long time since I’ve deliberately read anything by that guy, and I’d rather avoid giving him clicks.
The mistress article: I know shit happens, but to go and give advice on how to have an affair, really? This isn’t open relationship advice where honesty is key and for the most part, everything flows. This is just straight up how to cheat advice. lol It sounds like this person is giving advice to totally disregard the feelings of the oblivious 3rd person involved. I just don’t understand how a person can take pride in that.
As someone who HAS been the mistress…it’s not that glamorous. Actually, it really fucking sucked. She was around thirty, straight, bicurious, unhappy in her marriage, but not wanting to leave it because they had a child. I was nineteen and dumb about it. She gave me expensive things and compliments, I gave her sex and her first experimentation with a girl.
I don’t know…I have always said one of the worst things a woman can do to another woman is cheat with that other woman’s husband, and I’ve realized it doesn’t really matter if you’re messing around with the husband or the wife.
Breaking a family just isn’t something I really wanted on my resume, and I don’t think anyone should want it on theirs, too, no matter how dangerously fun it sounds.