NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Self-Destructing Art

Feature image of Halo the GxdBody and La Muxer Diosa in Crash Pad Series episode 305. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Halo the GxdBody and La Muxer Diosa

Halo the GxdBody and La Muxer Diosa in Crash Pad Series episode 305

On August 21, NYC sex worker artist collective Veil Machine is hosting a self-destructing online art show:

“Dubbed E-Viction, the ‘virtual arthouse/whore gallery for sex workers, clients, artists, and allies’ will feature chat rooms, an interactive peepshow combining art and sex with the help of 16 sex workers and artists, as well as an online store selling original pieces and sex icons. However, if you’re interested in checking E-Viction out, act fast because the site will only be live for 12 hours before self-destructing at midnight — a move that is reflective of the censorship sex workers face online.”

How do you talk dirty? Start with storytelling:

“Talking about sex in a mutually hot way can be as simple as saying, ‘I want to X your Y so bad.’ Also? It can be so much more than that. We’ve all probably heard (and tried out) plenty of scripts adapted from porn, but we also have our own, personal filthy resources, aka, the specific people we are, and the way we each, individually, express that. Talking about sex to turn yourself and someone else on can be so much more fun when it feels like you saying smutty things, instead of a more generalized Horny Sex Person.

Keeping your sex talk fresh and invigorating often relies on storytelling that allows for the conversation to build and progress, allowing space for trial and error and boundaries that outline what you and your partner(s) need to get off. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s more fun, in fact, when it isn’t! It leaves room for people to make it feel like something that’s all their own — and that’s probably the sexiest thing you could ask for.”

You can also check out Autostraddle’s tips on how to sext.

Cosmic and Miss Yum and a flogger

Cosmic and Miss Yum in Crash Pad Series episode 246

Glory holes are the symbol of coronavirus sex.

Here’s how lightly you should touch a clit (spoiler alert: very lightly).

Here’s how to 69.

When therapy becomes a game, everyone loses.

Stop texting people who aren’t into you.

Here’s what’s up with sex magic.

Here’s how to erase bad memories.

Here’s how to add ice to your summer sex life.

Here’s how 2,000 people are approaching sex in quarantine.

When most of your sex life has involved alcohol, sex without it can feel like starting over. At Salty, Lauren McQ wrote about learning to have present, sober sex; figuring out what you actually like; saying “not yet” and “yes please”; and more.

You should still keep masturbating even if you’re quarantined with a partner. Try the shower for some privacy.

Here’s how to wash your lingerie at home.

Tits McGee has some new sci-fi smut up at Oh Joy Sex Toy.

Scout and Lew Pine

Scout and Lew Pine in Crash Pad Series episode 227

Are you dating a narcissist? Narcissists will often begin by putting their partners on a pedestal and soon tear them down or try to “improve” them not long after. They don’t meaningfully apologize, vilify all their exes, gaslight you, put down others, and will feel entitled to early commitment before you’re ready:

“One of the defining characteristics of any personality disorder is a lack of boundaries, emotional or otherwise. People with NPD are no exception.

‘They often feel entitled to violate boundaries most of us accept and abide by,’ Hall says. ‘Sharing intimate details about other people you don’t know about, wanting to get more committed really quickly, promising things or wanting promises from you like commitment, marriage, having kids together right away. Things that are really premature before you’ve had a chance to get there.’

Hall says narcissists just feel entitled in general. They can’t abide by the golden rule of do unto others as you would have them do unto you. ‘A narcissist walks around with very unreasonable expectations,’ Hall says. ‘They feel entitled to get things other people shouldn’t get.'”

Cinnamon Maxxine and Golden Curlz

Cinnamon Maxxine and Golden Curlz in Crash Pad Series episode 206

Sometimes, threesomes are what gets you through lockdown:

“The three of us hit it off immediately and laughed and joked like we were old friends. That feeling of familiarity quickly gave way to intimacy. It didn’t take long for kissing to lead to touching and soon we were a mess of arms, legs, lips, and tongues. They were at my place for seven hours and yet somehow the time flew by. At one point, I heard the telltale clanging of pots and pans cheering on the healthcare workers signaling that it was 7:30 p.m. We were in disbelief: Where had the last few hours gone? What struck me most wasn’t just the mind-blowing sex; it was how much I’d been missing being around other people. Our threesome felt like a giant exhale I didn’t realize I had needed. After my first orgasm, when I was finally able to form words again, I blurted out, ‘I needed that in my soul.'”

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

16 Comments

  1. I felt a little sad about the “Are You Dating A Narcissist” article, about someone armchair-diagnosing their ex with an extremely stigmatized label that the article notes is a response to childhood trauma. While recognizing it might be meaningful for people who’ve been hurt by partners who fit that description, I also wanted to say that everyone who’s working hard to learn how to care for themselves and others after shitty childhoods is doing a really good job.

    • Right! The sad truth is that a lot of things that underpin abuse/toxic relationships (like feeling entitled to your partner, seeing jealousy as a good thing, etc) are systemic, so tying it all to a specific diagnosis hurts people with personality disorders AND doesn’t do anything for abuse prevention.

      Mixing up a “signs you’re in an abusive relationship” list with the DSM-IV criteria for NPD is honestly irresponsible — abusers aren’t a special, different class of person, and the attitudes that enable abuse can be held by anyone.

      • thank you for this, it’s so well-said, and really helped me understand more what felt off about that article to me!

  3. As a person with multiple mental health issues who has also been targeted by abusers with likely NPD/APD I am beyond tired of people defending them in the name of mental health. They are NOT the same as other kinds of mh issues or personality disorders, in fact it is MORE offensive to me that they are always lumped together as if they are the same thing. They were categories literally created to explain certain types of **abusive behavior** (so yes directly tied to a specific diagnosis) and people need to know what they are and how to keep themselves safe!!! Reading articles like the one linked here saved my life and helped break out of a pattern that I could not recognize before, so I am actual living proof that it does help with abuse prevention. Please STOP trying to silence victims from teaching each other how to recognize the flags and understand wtf is happening to them!!!

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