Feature image of Dylan Ryan and T.Pfister in Crash Pad Series episode 306. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Beating Hart, C’est La Vie, and Cinnamon Maxxine in Crash Pad Series episode 308
Here’s how (and why) to pay for your porn:
“[W]hen you use a website like PornHub to view un-paywalled porn for free — especially the kind made by performers who run their own business — you’re stealing from people whose careers are deeply stigmatized and whose jobs are, if not criminalized, heavily regulated and censored by puritanical legislation designed to keep sex workers in unsafe and unfairly compensated working conditions. And don’t forget that even the small percentage of massively successful sex workers are still marginalized by whorephobia.
These days, we’re relying on escapism more than ever. For a lot of us, that includes jerking off, and that’s great! Mazel to your meat-beating. But if you like to look at porn, there’s a way to do that without stealing from workers who are trying to get by during an apocalyptic pandemic—just like you”
Sal Marquez and Vivi Marie in Crash Pad Series episode 310
What even is the future of dating? It seems laughable to think about predicted trends for 2020 that came in 2019, because who could predict 2020? Hopefully we won’t be saying the same thing next year silent scream, but regardless here are some upcoming predicted dating trends, featuring more selfies, political alignment, and slower dating, among others. Or just turn to witchcraft.
“A former dyke narrates his experiences on Grindr.”
How can you protect your mental health in lockdown? Here are some suggestions, and also .
Here’s how to masturbate when you have roommates (or are staying on someone’s couch) and why if you have a fetish it’s better to address it with a partner directly.
“Treating Endometriosis as a Women’s Disease Hurts Patients of All Genders.”
“Wokefishing,” or lying about political beliefs in order to date someone: why.
Check out this very important and completely serious investigation into PornHub’s search map, featuring which state searches most for “lesbians scissoring.”
“What happens to sex workers who out their political clients?”
Here’s how someone with IBS has sex (and don’t forget how someone else with IBS has sex).
Mistress Tom deFun and Blair in Crash Pad Series episode 311
What does your pet think if they see you having sex?:
“For pets like fish and reptiles, which usually land on the less social end of the animal spectrum, they probably think things like, ‘Want food. Am snake.’ You having sex is probably outside of their purview.
Dogs and cats, on the other hand, may have their minds a little blown by the odd act of humans slapping their parts together, and might go into a sort of existential crisis mode, like so. As animal behaviorist Kyle Kittleson once explained to me, ‘Some dogs and cats may become stressed while witnessing two people engage with one another — they may cower or move to the opposite side of the room if the noise level becomes too much. The majority of pets will be fine staying in the same room as two people engage in sex, but for the few pets that may get riled up while you and your partner express your undying love, just give them a toy, a treat and their own room.’”
Cinnamon and Cicatriz in Crash Pad Series episode 169
I was intrigued and horrified by the Wokefishing article. Um, excuse me?! So pathetic. If you have to hide your political beliefs, check your heart and consider why. Gross.
Made me also wonder is this is a hetero-male thing. We know there are conservative LGBTQ folx out there but I hope they’re not pulling this crap. If you’re gonna be bigoted and act against your own interests, do it fully with your chest.
The PornHub search map was fascinating–for some reason I really love that some states that have local cities as their top terms. Where else are you going to show your Boston pride?
In the US at least, “wokefishing” is most likely the evolution of a trend which started in 2016 with calls to dump anyone who was a Trump voter, and later, a more general call to not date conservatives. Among hetero folks, this creates a dating disparity in areas where women are, on the average, significantly more liberal than men. And this disparity hits conservative men harder: liberal bi women can (and often do) drop out of the hetero dating market and leave more liberal men for the straights, while conservative bi men tend to be deeply closeted and don’t often drop out of the hetero dating market. Also, liberals tend to be better at doing poly, reducing the strain on that side of the political aisle a little more.
Add in the fact that a lot of them are Nazis or Nazi-adjacent and risk losing their jobs if outed, and you get a situation which is *superficially* similar to what trans people used to face while dating and produces similar behavioral pressures to hide themselves at first. (I emphasized “superficially” because they obviously aren’t the same. Trans people nearly always lied only by omission, not by outright misrepresentation. Being a Nazi is a choice, and in today’s world, isn’t a risk of getting killed. And unlike trans people, Nazis are actually dangerous.) Add in the fact that Nazi men are pressuring each other to breed in order to “save the white race”, and that only adds to their desperation.
And then there are hardline traditional conservatives who, understanding that they’re badly losing the culture war, hope to reverse things by drawing in liberal women by deception and using love as a weapon to indoctrinate them into fold… I suspect that’s not actually common in practice, but I’ve seen it being discussed online in conservative spaces.
None of this is meant to excuse this behavior, it’s still scummy, just providing some insight where it’s likely coming from.