Feature image of Sal Marquez and Vivi Marie in Crash Pad Series episode 310. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Tender Furiosa and Maggie McMuffin in Covid Edition: Tender Furiosa

At Xtra, Andy Bandyopadhyay wrote about how to go to your first sex party, including living in a country with an effective government response to the pandemic (lol), finding a reputable organizer, getting to know the community outside of a sexual setting, and then how to actually go to one (including one online) and what to do during and after:

“Sign up for your first party and congratulate yourself for taking the first step!

Now visualize your mildest and wildest fantasies. What’s the mildest thing that could happen at this party that would leave you with a huge grin on your face? What’s the wildest? For example, a great conversation with a new friend could be the mildest. A sex act you’ve always wanted to try could be the wildest.

Then imagine overcoming your fears. What would you do if your worries actually happened? For example, if you’re nervous about how to gracefully deal with rejection, imagine asking someone if they’d like to make out and hearing a no. Then imagine telling this person, “Thank you for taking care of yourself” with genuine warmth, and having a great time anyway, anchored by your mildest and wildest.”

Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279

Oh Joy Sex Toy reviewed the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand, which “starts on full power and only gets stronger from there.”

Here’s what to do if your friend is in an abusive relationship.

The baseball sex analogy is outdated.

Adina Powers and Scout in Crash Pad Series episode 286

It’s okay if you’ve lost all your social skills during the pandemic. Here’s what to do:

“Find tiny ways to sneak friendly, casual interactions into your day—even if it’s not something you normally do—to help get you into the habit of seeking out and feeling comfortable with other people. Before a more dedicated hangout, try small social gestures in your daily life: Make conversation with the cashier at the grocery store. Say hello to your neighbor. Even waving to the mailperson counts. Think of this like warming up your muscles before a workout.

According to Sheila Addision, a therapist who specializes in relationships and the executive director of Margin to Center Consulting, we’re already getting used to new social cues that have come about from spending time together in virtual spaces. On a Zoom call, she said, “If somebody kind of leans forward and starts to unmute, other people are noticing, _Oh, that person’s going to speak,_” when, in real life, they just might be demonstrating that they’re listening. By easing back into smaller, in-person interactions, even if that’s just smiling at someone you’re in waiting in line next to, you can start to remember old cues that used to be second nature.”

Namira Rot and Rue Griskot in Crash Pad Series episode 205

What should you do if your partner gets your dream job? In Dear Prudence, Daniel Lavery writes:

“Feel envious! Experience longing! This was a rare opportunity that you’re sorry to have missed, and it’s reminding you just how much you wish your job lined up with your values, your community, and your passion. That’s worth mourning, and it’s worth feeling envious over, especially since you’re already working to channel those emotions into planning ahead for a future career change. Talk about it with your partner sometimes, while making sure you also leave room to celebrate her good fortune. Talk about it with your friends, too. I don’t mean call up everyone you know to say, ‘My partner just got a great new job, and I’m being eaten alive with resentment,’ but something more along the lines of ‘Help me channel my sadness so I can really be there for my partner and get ready for a better job of my own next year.'”

Sal Marquez and Vivi Marie in Crash Pad Series episode 310

Why can’t bodies just orgasm on an indefinite loop?:

“How long the refractory period lasts for penises depends — if you’re an eager 17-year-old, maybe just a few minutes, but if you’re a 60-something, maybe a day or two. For clits and vaginas, the research is less extensive, but it can be as little as seconds to minutes. It’s worth noting here that the latter two often take longer to orgasm than dicks do, so snapping back won’t be as quick for everyone. Either way, it’s the body’s warning sign, screaming at you that it’s tired and to leave it alone — it needs to recharge.

In the meantime, Malone suggests considering other ways to experience sexual pleasure.”

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