Feature image of Chanel of Houston via projectloveyourself via stylelikeu.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ In Vanity Fair, Toni Bentley participates in “Hysterical Literature,” the video series where women read their favorite texts at a table until a woman wielding a Magic Wand under it makes them come, and writes about why she did it:
“Why would I do this? Why wouldn’t I do it. “Hysterical Literature” combines my two great, overriding passions—sex and literature. The series juxtaposes the realm of words literally atop the realm of the erotic: each, as it were, finally in true congress with the other. Who would win the inevitable war? Upper body or lower? Logic or lust? Prefrontal cortex or hypothalamus? Or, perhaps, they might actually meld together, literature and sex, Madonna and Whore—for this is the core dichotomy of Cubitt’s experiment—fused as never before. Each video provides a literate, and literal, clitoral monologue that renders the Vagina Monologues merely aspirational. For a woman who has eroticized her immutable shame, “Hysterical Literature” offers both public apotheosis and poetic coalescence—with a strong exhibitionism-voyeurism folie à deux chaser. This was a ride right up my street—though it proved to be more like merging on the Autobahn during rush hour.”
+ Masturbating is great as an end in itself and great as a way to get better at partner sex, too. If you find yourself doing the same things all the time, try something new (and then show a partner how to do it or do it yourself):
“If you have a hard time making the switch to a new technique, there are a few things to try. First, try alternating between your old stand-by and a new technique of your choosing in one or two minute cycles. Try getting yourself right to the edge of orgasm with your usual method, then changing to the new one at the last possible second. Each time you give this a shot, try to lengthen the time you spend with the new technique. Another way to do it is to go cold-turkey on your typical routine. Knowing that you can’t rely on Old Faithful on can give you more motivation to make it work with the new technique.”
+ Porn and sex are different, writes Kitty Stryker.
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Rosa, a double vibrator.
+ Do not out other kinky people. Do not.
+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller discussed asexuality and what it means to “feel queer,” violated consent, confiding in mutual friends about your relationship and more.
+ Someone hung dildos all over Portland.
+ A few ways to keep cool when you’re having sex and it’s hot out include strategic body/fan positioning, shower sex and intentional temperature play.
+ I honestly thought this article was a parody and I’m still not convinced that it’s not and anyway the main reason to read it is to feel so, so glad to be whatever brand of queer you want to be.
+ It can be tough to deal with a partner who has depression, especially when depressed-person behaviours can look a lot like failing relationship behaviours. Remember to not take their symptoms personally, find a way to deal with it together, give your partner space and have boundaries. Lifehacker notes:
“Even in a healthy relationship, you can’t make someone else’s emotional well-being your sole responsibility. Depression can tank your partner’s sex drive, make them seem bored with the things you talk about, or take the joy out of things they might otherwise enjoy. Those are certainly problems that need to be dealt with. However, it’s also important to understand that having depression and being unhappy with your relationship are two separate issues. As long as your partner says that you’re not the reason they appear unhappy, take them at their word and try to work on the other issues together.”
There is also a great post at the Toast about mental illness and domesticity.
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