Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ V Magazine ran a gallery of stud-identified people that is almost certainly relevant to your interests. There are only about eight photos, but make sure to check out the videos as well.
+ The Guardian‘s sex issue opens by asking, Is monogamy dead? (Spoiler alert: the answer is “yes.”):
“Long-term monogamous relationships as currently configured aren’t so much fulfilments of love’s young dream as disasters waiting to happen. In such circumstances, mere monogamy surely cannot bear so much weight. […]
Should we adjust our parameters? Should we pursue what relationship counsellors call the poly grail? Does sex matter to the health of a long-term relationship? Is it OK to give it up?
Esther Perel distinguishes between warm and hot relationships. The former involves absolute candour, togetherness, equality and, quite possibly, devising a mutually satisfying rota for picking up the kids from school and cleaning the toilet. The latter involves non-politically correct power plays and, if the book jacket is anything to go by, transgressive shoe fetishism as part of a sustainable sex life. Can one relationship be hot and warm at the same time? It seems, to put it mildly, unlikely. Does good intimacy make for hot sex? asks Perel. Again, unlikely: they don’t sound like different rules, but different sports.”
+ In an interview with Sizzler Editions, Rachel Kramer Bussel discusses writing about BDSM, her favourite fetish, and what to read first:
“The inherent power dynamic and often mix of emotions [BDSM] can bring about from the top and the bottom make it ripe for all sorts of stories. I especially want to write more from the top’s perspective, because it can be more challenging to explain sadism than masochism in erotica. I find that’s true in the submissions I get for my anthologies and in my writing, because if you’re describing the submissive or bottom’s point of view, you can accurately share why and how they experience the pain or humiliation or whatever the topic is. You can go into detail about how they eroticize things we’re not taught are ‘erotic,’ but to explore how sadism works psychologically can be trickier. BDSM erotica also allows you to use so many senses and get particularly creative with planning and setup and outrageousness.”
+ If you have a vagina, it changes shape when you’re aroused. Some other neat stuff happens, too.
+ Nerve has a list of the 13 least appetizing food-vagina metaphors of song. A skittle, sauerkraut, coaco puffs and stew all made the list.
+ At Good Vibrations, Alyssa Royse writes about how to use porn in your sex life:
“Mainstream media – and yes, a lot of mainstream porn – is filled with totally unrealistic messages about body shape and gender roles. However, not only are we not all built the same, we don’t all want the same things. As alienated as some of us feel by mainstream media, we can find a reflection of ourselves in porn.
I will never forget sitting in a seminar with Kelly Shibari, a brilliant and talented porn star whose niche is BBW bondage. She was talking about being a ‘fat’ porn star (their word, not mine) and having a male fan come up to her with gratitude saying that hers was the only porn he and his wife could watch together. Why? Because his wife was also BBW, and watching Kelly perform helped her see herself as beautiful and sexy.
Knowing me, I probably cried when she told that story. In any event, whether it’s a body shape, a kink, a fetish or a fantasy, you will be able to find it reflected to you in the world of porn. And that can go a long ways towards helping you realize that you’re not alone, you’re appreciated and there’s nothing wrong with you.”
+ Porn is also good for college students. At Jezebel, Katie Baker destroys the new wave of “arguments” against “the porn curriculum” in modern education:
“Um, there’s ‘no academic basis’ for studying pornography? That’s total bullshit. Porn affects economics: it’s a multi-billion dollar industry. Porn affects politics and the law: Los Angeles just voted to require actors to use condoms when filming sex scenes. Ever hear of/see queer and feminist porn? If not, that’s a shame, and why porn affects LGBTQ and gender studies.”
+ Speaking of porn, the NY Times’ “Room for Debate” column asks, “Should pornography come out of the closet?” The debaters range from very anti-porn to very pro-porn.
+ The Hairpin‘s latest edition of Ask a Queer Chick addresses sleeping and cheating with exes, dating while in a relationship when you want the person you date to have sex with you in front of your boyfriend, straight party crashers and that article we published about what lies beneath your fingernails.
+ Bitch has a helpful round-up of everything you need to know about the Petraeus sex scandal.
+ Students at Flinders University in South Australia are doing a study on sex education in the queer community. You can participate online.
+ San Francisco might ban nudity in public streets, sidewalks and plazas after the city’s board of supervisors votes November 20:
“Castro resident Desmond Perrotto lamented that the ban is another step toward ‘normalizing our city, which has always stood out for being different.’
One woman disrobed during her testimony in protest, chanting ‘Down with Wiener!’ She was escorted out by sheriff’s deputies for violating the board’s rules.
Public nudity is not banned under state law, leaving local municipalities to decide how they want to regulate the practice. Wiener’s proposal would ban nudity on sidewalks, plazas, parklets and public transit, but create an exemption for street fairs, festivals and parades. Violators would face fines of up to $500.”
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