feature image via queen sized
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ You should be able to defend your relationship in a court of law (or at least to yourself):
“I wouldn’t begrudge anyone their unexamined or inarticulable happy thing. And of course, not every relationship needs to live up to this scrutiny. But if you’re immersed in a swirl of doubts despite a list of good reasons, it’s probably a sign—and if you have no good reasons but no doubts either, that’s an important sign too. It’s your instinct that matters. And more important than all that is this: as Polly notes, if you have to ask if you’re settling, then you probably are. Or as a wise person once said: Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.”
+ You’re probably going to open this and wonder why I’m linking to a heterosexually married couple who spank girls in unicorn masks but — stay with me/them — this interview about BDSM and play and fun and safety and communication is just a really great read:
“Before I was involved in BDSM, that dark, serious aspect of it turned me off. Not that it was scary, but it made me laugh. I was like, ‘Are you people serious? I can’t do that.’ Really, BDSM to me is about play. It’s about assuming different characters, playing with different roles. […]
It’s not about, ‘Who can wear the most leather and latex and be the most serious?’ It’s about playing, having fun, tapping into your psyche. It’s learning things about yourself, about your partner, tapping into yourself physically and learning the things that your body can do.”
+ If you don’t feel comfortable with talking about sex out loud with your mouth in front of humans (or even alone), you can fix that. Start by saying the words alone to yourself until they lose all power and most meaning, then say sentences, and then start trying to talk with a partner (preferably not when sex is about to happen or has just happened).
+ UTIs suck. (You can also get them from things besides owning a vagina while having sex with a cis dude, also.)
+ Web filters in the UK just really don’t like porn.
+ “Last week, one woman, who goes by Kamylla, came forward on Twitter to hold [8 Minutes’] producers accountable for promising her assistance in exchange for her appearance on the show, then leaving her twisting in the wind when she was arrested soon after, having returned to work from economic necessity when they didn’t provide the promised help in exiting the industry.”
+ We’ve also published some great things lately: why you should care about lesbian safer sex, tarot spreads for your relationships and, for A+, Stef’s really excellent personal essay about her polyamory failure.
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