Feature image of Cinnamon Maxxine and Golden Curlz in Crash Pad Series episode 206. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
A sex toy that anticipates your every move would take the fun out of sex, argues Lux Alptraum at Neo.Life. There’s no straightforward link between physical and mental arousal, making data based on physical response inadequate. Plus:
“[M]ost importantly, as appealing as an effortless orgasm might sound, I’m doubtful that it would truly be exciting. Sexuality, and sexual pleasure, are about more than merely arriving at an explosive endpoint. They’re a lifelong journey of self understanding and self exploration, and the struggle for knowledge is as important as the ultimate destination.
A sex toy that promises to effortlessly guide us to peaks of erotic enjoyment may seem like the epitome of erotic experience. But in reality, it’d be more like a cheap trick that cheats us out of some of the very best parts of sex.”
Sara Elise, a queer BDSM practitioner, talked to Tarisai Ngangura about BDSM as self care, erotic energy, marks, the complexities of race in BDSM and creating the imagery she wants to see in the world:
“‘When I was first researching BDSM because my first Dom gave me films and articles to learn more, I really wasn’t seeing anyone that looked like me. I knew that POC players existed in the community, but there was not heavy representation of us in the media. And when I did see images of queer, black, differently-abled, fat, gender-fluid bodies that I didn’t see in regular BDSM representation, the images made me feel uneasy. Oftentimes it looked like the person had been stripped of their power rather than empowered by their desires.’ Elise says. ‘So I knew that I had to create the imagery I wanted to see and dig deeper to find the communities I knew were out there.'”
Know what a top and bottom are but not what any of it means? Friend of the pod Chingy Nea answers all your questions about top and bottom culture at NewNowNext.
Go ahead. Post that lesbian thirst trap.
You don’t need to douche before anal sex.
Check out these first date ideas.
Find a couples therapist before there’s a crisis.
At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen recommends the yummy sunshine.
“Medical schools and students are grappling with an unsettling practice: Performing pelvic exams on unconscious, non-consenting patients,” reports Emma Goldberg at the New York Times.
PornHub’s Year in Review is full of deepfakes.
Here’s how to break up with any zodiac sign.
It’s okay if you’ve never been in a serious relationship:
“‘We’re living in a culture that for a very long time has been absolutely obsessed with marriage and romantic coupling,’ said Bella DePaulo, a social scientist studying single life. Rather than thinking of perpetual singlehood as self-sabotaging, she suggested seeing it as ‘self-saving’—it’s choosing not to commit to something one knows won’t make themselves (or the other person) feel fulfilled or happy. ‘It is going against the grain to get to 30 without ever having had a long-lasting romantic relationship,’ she said. ‘But as more people declare themselves as having lived their whole life without ever putting a serious romantic relationship at the center of it, the easier it will be for others to follow.’ While friend groups or family members may not relate, there are plenty of people out there who either start their first relationships a little later or have no interest in doing so ever.”
From the top/bottom article.
“ As long as you’re paying attention to your lover and not flopping your hand around inside of their holes like a Magikarp, you’ll be fine.”
Like a Magikarp OMG
At first I thought “at last, someone will explain how top and bottom have anything to do with any of my sexual experiences ever, because I want to laugh at the lesbian memes too” and all I did was end up feeling more alienated!